[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:02.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's up cinephiles,\NI'm Evasive,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.38,0:00:05.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and this piece of paper right here\Nmeans two things:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.77,0:00:08.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number one, I am tens of\Nthousands of
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.51,0:00:09.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dollars in debt,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.82,0:00:13.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and number two, I know a lot\Nabout movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.14,0:00:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since the U.S government\Nisn't giving me any debt relief this year,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.91,0:00:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have no choice now but to\Ntorture myself on the Internet
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.67,0:00:21.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for money to pay off the loans
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.65,0:00:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took out to go to film school.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.92,0:00:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So for this video, I watched every\Nmovie that's ever won
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.57,0:00:29.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Razzie Award for Worst Picture\Nof the Year.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.01,0:00:31.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was an extremely painful\Nexperience
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.20,0:00:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I regretted my decision\Nimmediately,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.26,0:00:35.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but for the sake of \Nmy adoring fans
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.37,0:00:36.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my bank account,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.41,0:00:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went ahead and watched \Nall 46 of these
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.55,0:00:40.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,movies so I could \Nexplain them to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.37,0:00:43.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But after the grueling experience\Nof watching all these,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.03,0:00:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not about to tackle this\Nbreakdown alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.25,0:00:47.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I went ahead and roped in\Nanother video essay girly
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.83,0:00:49.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a talking trash can
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.03,0:00:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help explain some of these\Nmovies for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.21,0:00:54.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But before I get to the movies,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.77,0:00:56.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let me explain what the Razzies are.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.81,0:01:02.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Golden Raspberry Awards are\Nan annual event,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.47,0:01:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,usually held the night before the Oscars,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.58,0:01:06.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to award the worst\Nmovies of the year.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.96,0:01:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was founded by Hollywood\Ncopywriter
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.06,0:01:11.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,John Wilson and editor Maureen\NMurphy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.39,0:01:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The idea for the Razzies came\Nabout in 1980
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.82,0:01:17.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when Wilson saw Can't Stop \Nthe Music and Xanadu, back to back
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.71,0:01:20.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hated them so much, that\Nthere ought to be an award show
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.76,0:01:21.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for this type of thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.96,0:01:23.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Months later, Wilson hosted an
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.46,0:01:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oscars watch party at his house,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.36,0:01:27.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and after the Oscars had finished,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.41,0:01:29.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he and Murphy passed out ballots\Nto everyone
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.94,0:01:31.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the worst movies of the year,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.58,0:01:34.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then he announced the\Nwinners in his living room.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.07,0:01:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over time, the ceremony \Ngrew and grew,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.01,0:01:39.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and today they're considered a staple \Nof the Hollywood award season
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.24,0:01:41.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a low-budget Bizarro World\NOscars
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.38,0:01:43.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that distributes awards in\Ncategories
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.35,0:01:45.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.52,0:01:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Worst Screenplay.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.95,0:01:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unlike the qualifications for voting\Nat the Oscars,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.63,0:01:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,becoming a Razzie voter \Nis very easy:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.83,0:01:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,either be friends with \None of the producers
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.92,0:01:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or just pay a $40 membership fee.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.36,0:01:58.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all it takes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.10,0:01:59.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's the story of the Razzies.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.78,0:02:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now are you ready to learn about\Nevery single movie
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.21,0:02:03.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that won Worst Picture?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.84,0:02:05.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I wasn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.80,0:02:08.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's 46 of these things, so I'm\Ngoing to talk about each one
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.80,0:02:10.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for just a minute or two
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.05,0:02:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hand off a few to my guests
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.54,0:02:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I don't completely lose my mind here.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.54,0:02:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, I put a content warning on a\Nbunch of these movies
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.22,0:02:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the sensitive subject\Nmatter I discuss.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.60,0:02:22.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not trying to traumatize anybody\Nbut myself in this video.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.69,0:02:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, me and my guests.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.11,0:02:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I commissioned them for this,\Nso it-it's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.51,0:02:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anybody who swallows two snowballs \Nand a ding-dong shouldn't
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.50,0:02:41.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have trouble with pride.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.72,0:02:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first movie to win Worst Picture was \NCan't Stop The Music,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.21,0:02:49.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A movie about the "origins"\Nof the disco group Village People.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.21,0:02:53.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say origins in air-quotes because\Nthe Village People play themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.68,0:02:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the plot is completely made-up
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.67,0:02:58.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not at all how the Village People\Nactually formed
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.35,0:03:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The movie itself is super campy\Nand full of these crazy musical numbers
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.07,0:03:03.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are unironically kinda great.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.93,0:03:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just too bad that in between\Nthose musical numbers are these scenes
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.46,0:03:10.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with really terrible acting \Nthat go on for way too long.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.74,0:03:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait a minute! I am not taking one\Nmore step 'til I know where I'm going.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.76,0:03:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, quit my job, and you\Ngot me walking the beat again!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.42,0:03:22.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm not even getting paid for it!\N- Hold your horses.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.19,0:03:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told you I had a surprise for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.00,0:03:26.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope so. I turned in my\Ncoin change with the toll booth.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.72,0:03:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't that awful, but by 1980 \Nthe disco fad was pretty much over and
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.78,0:03:33.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people loved to hate on\Ndisco music at the time
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.05,0:03:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you can see why this\Nended up being such a huge bomb.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.74,0:03:40.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, shockingly, this movie marks the\Nfirst film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.03,0:03:42.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and apparently the experience was so bad
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.31,0:03:45.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she didn't appear in a movie again until\NJack & Jill in 2011.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.83,0:03:49.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, uh, well.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.40,0:03:58.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.64,0:04:02.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the life of actress Joan Crawford's\Nadopted daughter Christina.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.54,0:04:06.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, I say biopic in air-quotes\Nbecause the movie was based on
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.74,0:04:08.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Christina Crawford's controversial memoir
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.94,0:04:12.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that other members of Joan Crawford's\Nfamily disavowed when it came out.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.45,0:04:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I haven't done much research on the topic
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.47,0:04:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I'm in no position\Nto question this story.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.85,0:04:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will say that after\Nthe movie was made
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.92,0:04:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Christina said the film was grotesque\Nand not true to her memoir.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.03,0:04:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Released just 4 years after\NJoan Crawford passed away,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.46,0:04:29.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this movie basically spits all over\Nher fresh grave
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.73,0:04:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and portrays her as a horrible mother
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.51,0:04:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who frequently, physically and emotionally\Nabused her daughter.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.89,0:04:38.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether or not this is actually true\Nis still a matter for debate.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.29,0:04:41.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Regardless of the real-life circumstances\Nbehind the movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.64,0:04:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Faye Dunway's performance\Nof Joan Crawford is iconic now.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.87,0:04:48.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who have experienced \Nemotional abuse from a parent
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.05,0:04:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,found her performance\Nscarily true to their own life experiences
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.28,0:04:53.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but general audiences thought\Nshe was just being
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.84,0:04:56.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,outrageously campy and \Nover the top the whole movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.42,0:04:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of its reputation
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.66,0:05:00.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the film accidentally\Nbecame a queer cult classic over the years
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.80,0:05:02.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially in the drag community.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.72,0:05:05.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was even featured in the most\Nrecent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.97,0:05:10.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No wire hangers!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.59,0:05:14.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ No more wire hangers ♫\N♫ Ah, ah! ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.21,0:05:18.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫\N♫ No, no, no, no ♫
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.32,0:05:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about\Nthe battle of Incheon in the Korean War.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.88,0:05:30.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was financed and produced\Nby the Unification Church,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.49,0:05:34.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a movement that was and still is\Nconsidered a dangerous cult
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.03,0:05:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a leader who called himself\Nthe second coming of Jesus Christ.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.24,0:05:40.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The film's producer was\Na very wealthy member of the church.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.07,0:05:42.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said he was instructed by God\Nto make the film.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.56,0:05:45.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted\Nany part of this.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.02,0:05:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All 46 million dollars of the budget was\Nprovided by the church and its followers.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.17,0:05:54.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The film itself doesn't have much\Nto do with the Unification Church.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.77,0:05:58.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a straightforward war movie that's\Njust boring and unremarkable.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.84,0:06:03.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It had some star power but only because\Nthe actors in it were paid a lot of money.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.04,0:06:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Laurence Olivier admitted even\Nbefore the movie was released
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.12,0:06:08.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he was only in it for the money.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.30,0:06:11.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was such a flop that nobody\Nbothered to release it on home media.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.50,0:06:13.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only available version\Nof the movie today
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.77,0:06:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is from an old VHS rip from when it\Nplayed on Unification Church TV channel.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.50,0:06:21.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only thing worth seeing in this movie\Nis Laurence Olivier's makeup job.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.04,0:06:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean he looks like the Joker.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.94,0:06:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie is just tasteless.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.44,0:06:33.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.67,0:06:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was paid 600 000 dollars\Nfor the film rights,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.63,0:06:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apparently fell asleep\Nin the screening room,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.76,0:06:40.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never actually watched the movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.58,0:06:42.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First of all, in the first 15 minutes,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.78,0:06:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,young Ray Liotta,\Nin his first ever movie role,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.86,0:06:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sexually assaults the main character\Nwith a garden hose.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.04,0:06:52.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After that the rest of the movie\Nis just her being forced to have sex
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.53,0:06:55.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with gross older men\Nin order to get ahead in Hollywood.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.18,0:06:57.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you see all of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.09,0:06:59.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems like it was trying to criticize\Nsexism in Hollywood
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.93,0:07:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but instead of handling it\Nwith nuance or respect
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.24,0:07:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the movie fully shows the sex scenes
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.39,0:07:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and does the very thing\Nit's trying to critique.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.63,0:07:10.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The final scene of the movie shows\Nher winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.16,0:07:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and calling out the men\Nwho took advantage of her
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.46,0:07:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in her acceptance speech.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.70,0:07:17.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,\Nand the movie just ends there.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.63,0:07:20.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really uncomfortable to watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.38,0:07:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But somehow the next movie is even worse.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.07,0:07:32.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ugh, god, ok.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.41,0:07:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bolero is a movie by John Derek.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.25,0:07:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,John Derek is—\N(groan)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.59,0:07:41.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,John Derek was an old Hollywood actor
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.66,0:07:45.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who appeared in supporting roles in\Nseveral big movies in the 1940s and 50s.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.72,0:07:48.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.48,0:07:51.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he traveled to Europe to direct\Na low-budget movie called
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.06,0:07:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Once upon a Love" starring\Na 16 year old girl named
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.73,0:07:55.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mary Cathleen Collins".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.60,0:07:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,During the production—\N(retching)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.67,0:08:00.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.02,0:08:02.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,During the production, \NJohn Derek left his wife
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.27,0:08:05.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and groomed Mary Collins\Ninto a sexual relationship,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.19,0:08:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With the two staying in Europe\Nuntil she turned 18
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.19,0:08:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he could avoid \Nstatutory rape charges.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.57,0:08:14.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When they got married a few years later,\Nshe changed her name to Bo Derek
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.00,0:08:19.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and proceeded to star in all of his movies\Nuntil he died in 1998.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.12,0:08:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(retching)\N(vomit squelching)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.16,0:08:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.11,0:08:26.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So anyway, Bolero was a movie\Nabout a young woman fresh from college
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.59,0:08:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who travels to Morocco in Spain\Nto lose her virginity.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.46,0:08:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that wasn't bad enough,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.36,0:08:35.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this movie features a full-frontal\Nnudity scene with a 14 year old girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.06,0:08:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.09,0:08:41.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An actual 14 year old girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.86,0:08:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(retching, vomit squelching)\N(coughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.75,0:08:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you've never seen any\NRambo movies before
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.87,0:08:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the image you probably associate\Nwith the word "Rambo"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.50,0:09:00.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the one where\Nhypermasculine Sylvester Stallone
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.39,0:09:02.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is firing a machine gun\Nwithout a shirt on.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.59,0:09:06.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But see, that's actually from this movie,\N"Rambo First Blood: Part II",
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.57,0:09:09.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which has very little to do\Nwith Part 1 at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.19,0:09:11.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole point of\Nthe first Rambo movie is that
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.54,0:09:14.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran\Nwith severe PTSD
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.57,0:09:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who snaps and kills a bunch of\Nsmall-time cops who treat him like shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.46,0:09:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This sequel, on the other hand
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.01,0:09:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throws that tragic anti-war character\Nout the window
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.79,0:09:26.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as the US government sends him\Nback to Vietnam
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.01,0:09:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to locate prisoners of war
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.68,0:09:30.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.61,0:09:32.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like he immediately got over his PTSD
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.84,0:09:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and just got straight to blowing stuff up,\Nno problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.48,0:09:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie was\Na massive box office success
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.72,0:09:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and made double of what\Nthe first movie made,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.84,0:09:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so naturally, Rambo III also ditched\Nthe anti-war angle
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.06,0:09:44.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.94,0:09:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I dunno if someone thought\Nthe first movie was amazing,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.66,0:09:50.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it really sucks to see how quickly\Nthey ruined this character.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.03,0:09:52.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, like, I get it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.53,0:09:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The people who went to see\Nthese sequels in theaters
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.96,0:09:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't watch it for the plot.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.53,0:09:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They watched to see \NSylvester Stallone do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.94,0:10:07.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(bow twang)\N(explosion)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.94,0:10:16.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the early 80s, \NPrince was a rising star.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.66,0:10:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And his stardom was cemented in 1984
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.64,0:10:21.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.00,0:10:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After the success of Purple Rain,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.64,0:10:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Warner Bros. told Prince he was allowed to\Ndo whatever he wanted for his next project
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.95,0:10:30.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon\Nwithout even reading the script
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.17,0:10:33.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the story is, Prince plays a guy in \Nthe French Rivier named Christopher
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.55,0:10:36.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He and his friend try to \Nscam a girl out of her inheritance
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.36,0:10:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but they both end up \Nfalling in love with her.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.56,0:10:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A problem became apparent early on
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.83,0:10:43.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when Prince hired someone with \Nno experience to write the script.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.94,0:10:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then 16 days into filming, \Nthe director quit.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.42,0:10:50.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Prince took over even though he had\Nno experience directing a movie before.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.36,0:10:53.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The end result was a movie that features\Nwhat I can only describe as
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.11,0:10:55.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Acting.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.43,0:10:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't try anything funny.\NNot this time, Christopher.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.79,0:11:03.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want the money or I throw\Nyou both out onto the street.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.30,0:11:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gasp)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.26,0:11:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right, [inaudible]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.03,0:11:14.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Throw me onto the street?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.64,0:11:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's bizarre, it's one of \Nthose movies where
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.16,0:11:19.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the acting is so bad \Nit loops around to being funny
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.68,0:11:22.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which has given it\Na bit of a cult following over the years
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.58,0:11:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that and the soundtrack is amazing
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.31,0:11:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like with Purple Rain
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.49,0:11:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Prince released an album with the movie\Nthat went Platinum
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.21,0:11:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is today remembered as \None of his most iconic albums
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.44,0:11:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After Under the Cherry Moon failed, \NPrince tried one more time
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.40,0:11:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to direct a feature-length movie
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.08,0:11:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that one got nominated \Nfor a bunch of Razzies too
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.60,0:11:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After that he gave up and \Nnever tried to direct a movie again.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.56,0:11:44.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also this here marks \Nthe first ever tie in Razzies history
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.67,0:11:46.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.98,0:11:49.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.16,0:11:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Howard the Duck.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.29,0:12:11.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.08,0:12:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Greetings, Evasive viewers, \Nit is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.32,0:12:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm here to defend \Nmy client Howard T. Duck,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.40,0:12:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, \NHoward The Duck
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.42,0:12:26.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For nearly the last 40 years \Nmy client's reputation has been
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.72,0:12:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tarnished and slandered against
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.48,0:12:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by quack punch, chicken shit critics \Nfor this tragic box office bomb.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:32.17,0:12:36.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Central character, the Duck, the one \Nthat we're gonna be rooting for,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.46,0:12:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's neither funny, or bit of funny."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.49,0:12:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm here to clear the air.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.14,0:12:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Howard the Duck is not a movie, \Nno, it's a duckumentary.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.16,0:12:47.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know this because I was there.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.18,0:12:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all were.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.32,0:12:52.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My entire clan witnessed \Nmy client crash land on Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.99,0:12:55.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to star in a motion picture \Nthat of which has been
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.82,0:12:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.30,0:13:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's still awful. It's bad. \NWe're not winning this case, buddy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.80,0:13:04.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't trying anything. Honest!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.74,0:13:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a strange movie to say the least.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.82,0:13:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Howard the Duck notoriously opens\Nwith 2 instances of
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.66,0:13:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,full frontal duck booba\Nin the span of 30 seconds.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.40,0:13:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the rest of the movie is this whiplash
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.41,0:13:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between what's a squeaky clean\Nfull house type family movie
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.42,0:13:22.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that no one older than 3 years old\Nwould find funny
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.18,0:13:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,followed by things like \NMarty McFly's mom showing off her ass and
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.33,0:13:27.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pulling out a condom for Howard's corkscrew.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.28,0:13:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Howard…
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.35,0:13:31.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like anti-matter Shrek where \Nthey didn't know
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.75,0:13:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how to mix adult humor \Nand a kids' flick properly yet
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.40,0:13:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it becomes this overly long \Nbland comedy
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.21,0:13:38.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with hardly any intentional laughs
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.85,0:13:42.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that just happens to throw in something \Ntotally obscene every now and then
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.55,0:13:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- [Howard] Oh!\N- I just can't resist your
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.82,0:13:46.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intense animal magnetism.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.21,0:13:50.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of attempts at duck puns,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.88,0:13:54.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most are just replacing \Na random phrase in a word with "duck"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.43,0:13:57.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.86,0:14:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.52,0:14:02.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a duck name.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.78,0:14:05.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a name you give a duck.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.62,0:14:08.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first half of the movie has Howard\Npointlessly meandering
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.68,0:14:12.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's no funny interactions or \Nobservations or memorable bits
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.16,0:14:15.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's just an aimless movie \Nwith the guy in the duck suit.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.18,0:14:17.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have an entire portion of the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.28,0:14:19.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where Howard has a job \Nas a towel boy in a sex club
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.78,0:14:21.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's fun for the whole family!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.32,0:14:24.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:25.31,0:14:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.15,0:14:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [?] \Nas a result of a [?] incident.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.26,0:14:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Leading to Palpatine \Nsomehow returning from the dead
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.12,0:14:38.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and possessing the body of that one actor\Nthat's in every 80s movie
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.30,0:14:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'd later be arrested\Nfor being a sex pervert.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.20,0:14:42.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you like to eat?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.92,0:14:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I no longer need human food.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.82,0:14:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Junko] I need little boy butts.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.96,0:14:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have a movie where\Na talking duck fires a giant laser
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.70,0:14:53.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at a hell portal to stop \Na horde of alien warlords
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.14,0:14:54.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from taking over the Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.39,0:14:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they still manage \Nto make it a total snooze fest
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.91,0:14:58.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They try to give Howard a bit of edge
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.82,0:15:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he still feels \Ntoo kiddy and sanitized
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.72,0:15:03.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And part of that is his design.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.49,0:15:05.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He looks like a cross \Nof a Furby and MacCulkin.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.88,0:15:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are some things I did like,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.58,0:15:09.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these alien overlords are cool
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.20,0:15:11.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their design and stop motion \Nis really well done.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.63,0:15:14.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sequence where\NHoward gets shot into space
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.00,0:15:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is pretty neat, pretty \Nimpressive to look at.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.21,0:15:19.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like this sequence where \NHoward and [?] get a [?]
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.82,0:15:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and start flying away from the cops
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.54,0:15:22.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was good.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.30,0:15:23.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, Tim Robins is in this
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.73,0:15:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine having what's considered \None of the best movies of all time
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.93,0:15:28.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as part of your portfolio
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.16,0:15:30.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and on the other end of the \Nspectrum, Howard the Duck,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.78,0:15:31.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now that's range
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.77,0:15:35.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Genuinely I was taken aback \Nbecause some of the shots in this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.15,0:15:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,undeniably go hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.80,0:15:40.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a version of this movie that \Ncould've actually been good with less work
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.58,0:15:44.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If they leaned into Howard being this\Ncynical, perverted wise-cracking duck
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.40,0:15:46.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's down on his luck,\Nwho gets thrust into Earth
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.82,0:15:48.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and finds this strange new realm
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.48,0:15:50.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't so much different from his own.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.28,0:15:52.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then it's all about the bills, \Nbaby, put it on my belt
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.92,0:15:55.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He could take it as an \Nopportunity for a fresh start,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.68,0:15:57.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,slowly climbing the corporate ladder
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.44,0:15:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until becoming a national celebrity
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.14,0:16:01.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that gets caught up in 80s \Nconsumerism and greed
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.44,0:16:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then have him begrudgingly involved \Nin weird sci-fi fantasy stuff
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.71,0:16:05.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the comics, I dunno.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.91,0:16:08.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not sure how to defend my client.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.00,0:16:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give him the chair.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.58,0:16:10.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Howard screams)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.04,0:16:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:29.24,0:16:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, I may not have been \Nable to defend Howard,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.44,0:16:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but know this: from this day forth, \NI will ensure every client of mine
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.50,0:16:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is proven innocent.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.33,0:16:41.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now for my next client, \NI will be defending one Bill Cos-.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.98,0:16:42.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.40,0:16:47.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bill Co-Bill Cosby.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.88,0:16:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.98,0:16:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're done here. We're done.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.92,0:16:57.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's Leonard, part 6.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.32,0:16:59.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask anyone who's seen\Nthis movie, they'll tell you
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.65,0:17:02.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's when they first knew \Nlil' Bill was a real piece of shit
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.71,0:17:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I heard there was a comedy movie\Nthat just started on part 6
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.35,0:17:10.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's funny, maybe this movie could be \Nbad in a good way, at the very least
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.81,0:17:14.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nope, it's just bad, \Nit's boring, it's so boring.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.85,0:17:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If there's one thing Cosby \Nwas always a master at
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.22,0:17:18.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's making people very sleepy.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.09,0:17:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole thing is supposed to be \Na spoof on the spy genre,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.15,0:17:25.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like Naked Gun, except it actually\Ncame out a year before that movie
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.53,0:17:29.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They just had the cameras rolling \Nand had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.28,0:17:31.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a bunch of weird sex shit
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.51,0:17:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean the clues are all there,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.02,0:17:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the movie his wife divorced him\Nbecause he slept with a 19 year old
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.31,0:17:40.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his daughter is dating an older man\Nto further her career as an actress
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.31,0:17:42.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Leonard has to see her \Nflash her tits on stage
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.84,0:17:46.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for no reason, none of these scenes \Nadd anything to the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.13,0:17:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cosby just wanted to look \Nat some young girl tits
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.54,0:17:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole film has this weird\Nlethargic and slow energy to it
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.88,0:17:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything from the dialogue\Nto the editing,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:54.12,0:17:56.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.54,0:17:58.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The movie opens with \NLeonard and an assassin
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.64,0:18:00.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having a shootout in a kitchen
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.31,0:18:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The joke is that what they're doing \Nis actually helping the food prep
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.60,0:18:07.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all\Nis so bizarrely off by a step
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.88,0:18:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every gag and bit is like this, \Nlike they took something that was
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.28,0:18:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best\Nand spread it so thin that
Dialogue: 0,0:18:14.91,0:18:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.98,0:18:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was there even \Na joke at all to begin with?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.20,0:18:20.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The plot follows Leonard \Nbeing the best agent
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.63,0:18:23.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's long retired, then\Npulled back for one last mission
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.57,0:18:26.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after a buncha animals \Nunder mind control kill people
Dialogue: 0,0:18:26.42,0:18:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again a god-awful 80s comedy starts
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.42,0:18:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an animal looking at a porno mag.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.42,0:18:31.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's two fucking nickels.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.88,0:18:34.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first half is him just \Nstumbling around
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.39,0:18:36.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to get back with his ex wife
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.24,0:18:39.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who pours soup on him—\Nwhat is this gag?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:39.22,0:18:42.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?\NYou think this was genuinely funny?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.36,0:18:46.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.56,0:18:49.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cosby doesn't have a single \Nfunny line or hook to his character
Dialogue: 0,0:18:49.59,0:18:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can tell he's put \Nzero effort into any of this
Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.22,0:18:56.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie \Nbut I don't wanna look too stupid,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.78,0:19:00.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These so-called jokes are what the most\Nboring uptight person in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.73,0:19:02.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would think being silly is.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.36,0:19:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[mocking] Oh, look, wow \Nhe's being a ballerina, so girly.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.82,0:19:10.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, \Nhow can he subject himself to that.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:10.31,0:19:14.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, wee, it's like he thinks \Nthese things are so beneath him
Dialogue: 0,0:19:14.49,0:19:16.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that just him doing it would be funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.42,0:19:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What a piece of shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.92,0:19:19.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What really makes me mad, though?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:19.70,0:19:23.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's completely unfair. Because everyone\Nseems to be trying, but him.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:23.47,0:19:26.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the end when Leonard tries to \Nfree all the animals from captivity,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.79,0:19:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I just wanna\Nrecognize this bird right here.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.09,0:19:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars\Nof his cage with his beak and breaks free
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.21,0:19:34.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God bless this bird.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.27,0:19:37.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This bird put more effort\Nthan Bill Cosby in his own movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.63,0:19:41.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This bird did not deserve to be\Nin one of the worst movies of all time.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.12,0:19:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,None of these animals did.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.44,0:19:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed
Dialogue: 0,0:19:44.74,0:19:48.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a sex criminal grinding\Nhis pudding pop on its back.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:48.28,0:19:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If audiences in 1987 hated this, \Nwatching it now,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.24,0:19:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with all the humor naturally diluted\Neven further to the passage of time
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.72,0:19:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is like drinking a 40 year old\Ncan of new coke
Dialogue: 0,0:19:58.86,0:20:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when Bill's handing you a drink,\Nyou probably shouldn't drink it.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.38,0:20:04.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(gurgling)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.89,0:20:14.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise\Nplays a bartender in Manhattan.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.14,0:20:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He movies to Jamaica \Nand falls in love with a girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.64,0:20:20.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he loses her and moves back\Nto New York to win her back
Dialogue: 0,0:20:20.45,0:20:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's pretty much it.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.60,0:20:23.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What you see is what you get\Nwith this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:23.72,0:20:25.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a really mediocre movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:25.11,0:20:27.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not that good, but not that bad either.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.23,0:20:29.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well except for when Tom Cruise\Nstands on a bar
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.70,0:20:31.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and reads his shitty poetry.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:31.14,0:20:32.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is pretty cringey.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:32.31,0:20:34.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see America drinking
Dialogue: 0,0:20:34.82,0:20:37.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the fabulous cocktails I make.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:38.74,0:20:42.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,America's getting stinking\Non something I stir or shake.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:42.16,0:20:44.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:44.46,0:20:47.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:47.27,0:20:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,iced tea the kamikaze,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.82,0:20:52.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(hollering)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:52.07,0:20:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sex on the beach\Nis Schnapps made from peach
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.04,0:21:00.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ball and hammer\Nthe Alabama slammer!
Dialogue: 0,0:21:00.50,0:21:04.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,\Nthis movie was a massive success,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:04.34,0:21:09.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars\Non a 20 million dollar budget.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:09.24,0:21:12.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's also the movie the Beach Boys\N"Kokomo" song was written for.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:13.19,0:21:15.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Besides that, not much to talk about here.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:15.33,0:21:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture\Nbecause this was the year
Dialogue: 0,0:21:18.53,0:21:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:20.52,0:21:24.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The voters must have thought it was funny\Nto make the Best and Worst Picture
Dialogue: 0,0:21:24.48,0:21:25.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,be Tom Cruise movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:32.55,0:21:36.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok before making this video,\NI hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:36.68,0:21:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But because I'm committed to my craft,\NI went and watched all 6 original movies
Dialogue: 0,0:21:40.93,0:21:43.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just to understand why this one\Nis considered the worst.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:43.90,0:21:45.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all that, I—
Dialogue: 0,0:21:46.11,0:21:47.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah. I get it now.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:47.84,0:21:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not a horrible movie but especially\Ncompared to the previous films,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.57,0:21:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Star Trek V is pretty bleh.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:53.60,0:21:56.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pretty much everything went wrong\Nbehind the scenes.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.03,0:21:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,William Shatner directed it\Nwith no prior experience.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.24,0:22:01.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody could agree on anything\Nduring the writing process,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:01.97,0:22:03.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a writers' strike.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:03.37,0:22:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then a Teamsters strike.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:04.66,0:22:06.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They shot a lot of the movie\Nin the Mojave Desert,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:06.99,0:22:08.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is as miserable as it sounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:08.67,0:22:12.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After the filming was done, they only had\N3 months to make the special effects,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.67,0:22:16.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all the best effects technicians\Nin Hollywood were busy working on
Dialogue: 0,0:22:16.12,0:22:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Indiana Jones 3\Nand Ghostbusters II at the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:18.59,0:22:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do I think this movie\Ndeserved Worst Picture? No.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:21.54,0:22:24.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It does some wacky things like\Nintroduce Spock's long-lost brother
Dialogue: 0,0:22:24.63,0:22:26.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he never mentioned before
Dialogue: 0,0:22:26.09,0:22:28.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or show Kirk getting mauled\Nby a cat woman.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:28.70,0:22:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Overall I really don't think it's that bad
Dialogue: 0,0:22:31.15,0:22:33.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Though I'm not a Trekkie who had to see
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.57,0:22:36.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise\Nin a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"
Dialogue: 0,0:22:36.83,0:22:37.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So…
Dialogue: 0,0:22:39.81,0:22:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean…is that bad?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.63,0:22:43.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I actually don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:44.66,0:22:49.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can someone in the comments tell me\Nif that's bad, if that's out of character?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:49.82,0:22:51.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Should I be mad\Nat this or not?
Dialogue: 0,0:22:58.56,0:23:00.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a
Dialogue: 0,0:23:00.79,0:23:02.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:02.89,0:23:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:05.04,0:23:08.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he was a comedian most active\Nin the late 80s and early 90s
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.02,0:23:10.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was known as the Dice Man,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:10.31,0:23:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was basically a cover to tell\Nthe most offensive jokes possible.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:14.71,0:23:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they're always on parade.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:16.66,0:23:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They march down the street\Nwith t-shirts and flags
Dialogue: 0,0:23:19.42,0:23:21.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'I want money for AIDS disease.'\NBeautiful.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:21.82,0:23:25.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want money for a fucking car,\NI ain't marching up and down the street
Dialogue: 0,0:23:25.28,0:23:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get a job, butt slammer.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:26.51,0:23:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] The movie itself\Nis about a detective, I guess,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:29.58,0:23:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I dunno, it's just not funny at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:31.38,0:23:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was on my phone the whole time\Nbecause I was just so bored.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:34.78,0:23:36.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I got something serious to discuss.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:37.70,0:23:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?\N(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.39,0:23:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were at our parents'\Nwedding anniversary,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:43.85,0:23:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I told that joke,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:45.16,0:23:47.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'What's the definition of vagina?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.30,0:23:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The box that peanuts comes in!' (laugh)
Dialogue: 0,0:23:50.55,0:23:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gilbert Godfrey plays\Nthe only funny character in the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:23:53.31,0:23:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he dies like 25 minutes in\Nand the rest is just a boring mess
Dialogue: 0,0:23:56.74,0:23:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's impossible to follow.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:58.36,0:24:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The director Renny Harlin was also\Nworking on Die Hard 2 at the time
Dialogue: 0,0:24:01.82,0:24:05.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which came out in theaters\Nat the same time as Ford Fairlane
Dialogue: 0,0:24:05.66,0:24:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when you compare the money\Nbetween the two movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.56,0:24:11.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it's obvious which movie\Nhe cared about more.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:11.13,0:24:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Clint Eastwood.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:13.42,0:24:15.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I fucked him. Oh!
Dialogue: 0,0:24:22.39,0:24:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] 1990 was another tie
Dialogue: 0,0:24:24.36,0:24:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Ford Fairlane tieing\Nwith another movie
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.80,0:24:29.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from unapologetic\Npepophile John Derek.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:29.14,0:24:33.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman\Nmarried to a much older man
Dialogue: 0,0:24:33.06,0:24:36.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when the older man dies,\Nhis ghost takes up residence in her head
Dialogue: 0,0:24:36.75,0:24:38.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and goads her into murdering a man
Dialogue: 0,0:24:38.57,0:24:41.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he can possess his body\Nand have sex with her again.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:41.34,0:24:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a supernatural dirty old man movie
Dialogue: 0,0:24:43.86,0:24:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where John Derek fantasizes about
Dialogue: 0,0:24:45.55,0:24:48.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living rent-free in Bo Derek's head\Nafter he dies.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:48.47,0:24:50.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Plus this ended up being his last movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:50.81,0:24:53.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be poetic\Nif it wasn't so disgusting.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:53.21,0:24:59.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bo was very very young.\NLinda was very young…
Dialogue: 0,0:24:59.75,0:25:01.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess I just meet them young,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.71,0:25:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before they're wise enough\Nto know I'm not the guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:04.14,0:25:06.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway the acting is bad,\Nthe story is bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:06.89,0:25:08.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the visuals are bad,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.16,0:25:10.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the real cherry on top is: this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:25:10.60,0:25:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was the first film appearance\Nof Donald Trump.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.16,0:25:17.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No joke, Trump's first movie\Nwas made by a pedophile.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:17.23,0:25:19.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He even does a little duck face in it,\Nlook at him.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:22.49,0:25:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Poetic.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:29.48,0:25:30.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just watch this clip.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:30.56,0:25:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woah!
Dialogue: 0,0:25:32.86,0:25:34.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Happy [inaudible]
Dialogue: 0,0:25:35.38,0:25:40.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh no! How am I driving?\N1800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"
Dialogue: 0,0:25:40.12,0:25:43.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays\Na master burglar fresh out of prison
Dialogue: 0,0:25:43.22,0:25:45.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was blackmailed into stealing some art
Dialogue: 0,0:25:45.32,0:25:48.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's all part of a conspiracy\Nto build a secret machine
Dialogue: 0,0:25:48.12,0:25:50.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,invented by Leonardo Da Vinci\Nthat can turn lead into gold.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:50.92,0:25:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At this point in his career, Bruce Willis\Nwas mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:54.70,0:25:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was looking to branch out\Nwith Hudson Hawk.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:56.96,0:25:59.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently he couldn't decide\Nwhat he wanted it to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:59.51,0:26:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In an interview,\None of the writers later said:
Dialogue: 0,0:26:01.70,0:26:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew we were in trouble
Dialogue: 0,0:26:03.24,0:26:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when Joel and Bruce\Nwould say
Dialogue: 0,0:26:05.28,0:26:08.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what this is?\NThis is a Pink Panther movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:08.07,0:26:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next day they'd say
Dialogue: 0,0:26:09.34,0:26:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what this is? This is an\NAmerican James Bond movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:12.45,0:26:16.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then it would be:\NThis is North by Northwest.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:16.08,0:26:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I even remember someone saying:
Dialogue: 0,0:26:17.61,0:26:20.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what this is?\NThis is Casino Royale.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:20.13,0:26:23.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eventually I realized, if every day they\Nwere saying it was something different
Dialogue: 0,0:26:23.86,0:26:26.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,once we got to the editing room,\Nwe were gonna be in trouble.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:26.73,0:26:29.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So yeah, the final product\Nis all over the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:29.04,0:26:31.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But he movie developed\Na bit of a cult following
Dialogue: 0,0:26:31.97,0:26:34.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just because it's so…so silly
Dialogue: 0,0:26:34.94,0:26:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:36.66,0:26:38.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Honey?\N- (screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:39.40,0:26:40.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ball ball?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:40.40,0:26:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woof!
Dialogue: 0,0:26:42.65,0:26:45.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(dog screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:26:52.65,0:26:54.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's another movie\Nthat's really not that bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:54.91,0:26:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a World War II spy movie where\NMelanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman
Dialogue: 0,0:26:58.75,0:27:02.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with no spy experience\Nwho signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin
Dialogue: 0,0:27:02.50,0:27:06.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because she wants to prove herself and\Nsave her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:06.38,0:27:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Michael Douglas plays another spy
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.47,0:27:12.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pre-Schindler's List\NLiam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:12.10,0:27:14.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most complaints about the movie\Nwere aimed at
Dialogue: 0,0:27:14.19,0:27:16.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how unbelievable\NMelanie Griffith is as a spy
Dialogue: 0,0:27:16.77,0:27:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because she was really bad at her job.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:18.87,0:27:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and\Ntaking the German kids she's nannying
Dialogue: 0,0:27:22.54,0:27:25.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the building her cousins are hiding in"\Nkind of bad
Dialogue: 0,0:27:25.66,0:27:28.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But overall it's not that awful of a movie
Dialogue: 0,0:27:28.11,0:27:30.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the plot holes\Nand writing problems
Dialogue: 0,0:27:30.16,0:27:33.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are balanced out by a good soundtrack\Nand good cinematography
Dialogue: 0,0:27:33.49,0:27:34.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just average.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:34.66,0:27:36.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not bad enough to be memorable
Dialogue: 0,0:27:36.10,0:27:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but not good enough\Nthat you'd ever watch it again.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:38.50,0:27:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The cinematic equivalent\Nof eating at Denny's.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.80,0:27:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think 1992 was just a slow year\Nfor bad movies in general.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:44.44,0:27:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That same year they also \Nnominated Newsies for Worst Picture
Dialogue: 0,0:27:47.76,0:27:51.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Danny DeVito for\NWorst Supporting Actor
Dialogue: 0,0:27:51.19,0:27:54.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like…what? Why? How?
Dialogue: 0,0:27:56.15,0:27:56.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:04.07,0:28:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once again, this is a movie\Nthat's not that bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:06.35,0:28:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a drama where\NWoody Harrelson and Demi Moore
Dialogue: 0,0:28:08.70,0:28:11.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,play a financially struggling\Nmarried couple in Vegas
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.41,0:28:13.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy
Dialogue: 0,0:28:13.58,0:28:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who offers the couple 1 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:28:15.62,0:28:17.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:17.64,0:28:19.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, it's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:19.37,0:28:23.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes itself very seriously\Nand it's vaguely misogynistic at points.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:23.40,0:28:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also it's completely unbelievable that\Na man who looks like Robert Redford
Dialogue: 0,0:28:27.29,0:28:30.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would pay a million dollars\Nto sleep with someone.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:30.73,0:28:32.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in the context of the movie it works.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:32.80,0:28:35.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Definitely not the\Nworst movie of the year.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:35.60,0:28:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're telling me that Indecent Proposal
Dialogue: 0,0:28:37.52,0:28:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny\Nwasn't even nominated?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:40.82,0:28:43.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Razzie voters were asleep\Nat the wheel this year.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:52.65,0:28:56.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this one Bruce Willis plays a\Npsychologist who can't see the color red
Dialogue: 0,0:28:56.37,0:28:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who gets wrapped up\Nin a murder after his colleague
Dialogue: 0,0:28:58.85,0:29:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gets killed Assassin's Creed-style
Dialogue: 0,0:29:00.54,0:29:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he suspects someone\Nin his therapy group.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:02.72,0:29:06.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm so confused why this\Nwas even nominated for Worst Picture
Dialogue: 0,0:29:06.01,0:29:08.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this wasn't a bad movie at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:08.18,0:29:11.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's surreal and weird, sure,\Nbut it's in a Twin Peaks style of way
Dialogue: 0,0:29:11.59,0:29:13.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where it's still unsettling\Nand fun to watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:13.97,0:29:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:17.99,0:29:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:19.42,0:29:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another one that became a cult hit\Nafter home video release.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:22.56,0:29:26.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Partly because of this crazy sex scene\Nin a pool that everybody wanted to see
Dialogue: 0,0:29:26.20,0:29:28.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was even streaming\Non Criterion Channel at one point
Dialogue: 0,0:29:28.85,0:29:31.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which basically means\Nthat it's certified art.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:31.12,0:29:32.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's all I have to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:32.32,0:29:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies\Naren't bad enough to complain about.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:42.67,0:29:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:45.16,0:29:47.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven
Dialogue: 0,0:29:47.32,0:29:50.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was the first to accept\Nhis Razzie award in person.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:50.09,0:29:51.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's kind of funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:51.80,0:29:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm very happy \Nbecause it was much more fun
Dialogue: 0,0:29:55.48,0:29:58.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than reading the reviews in September. \NThank you so much.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:58.19,0:30:01.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(clapping, cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:30:01.72,0:30:03.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:03.85,0:30:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's actually a great movie, \Nin my opinion, and a lot of people agree.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:07.23,0:30:11.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is a wild movie about the world of\Nhigh budget Las Vegas strip shows
Dialogue: 0,0:30:11.04,0:30:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously with subject matter like that
Dialogue: 0,0:30:12.94,0:30:14.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're going to view it very differently
Dialogue: 0,0:30:14.91,0:30:16.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,depending on your gender and sexuality.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:16.86,0:30:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But regardless of what kind\Nof person you are
Dialogue: 0,0:30:19.04,0:30:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the experience of watching this movie\Nis an absolute rollercoaster.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:22.22,0:30:24.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One. Two. Three.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:24.01,0:30:28.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it!
Dialogue: 0,0:30:28.05,0:30:29.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on, thrust it.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:29.49,0:30:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for as over the top as this movie is\Nit's also pretty true to life.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:33.13,0:30:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,During his research, \Nwriter Joe Eszterhas interviewed
Dialogue: 0,0:30:36.01,0:30:38.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas
Dialogue: 0,0:30:38.30,0:30:41.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the result was a\Nshockingly straightforward depiction
Dialogue: 0,0:30:41.22,0:30:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the lives of high profile\Nsex workers and performers
Dialogue: 0,0:30:44.18,0:30:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a biting satire against\Nshow business in general.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:47.24,0:30:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a look at these tits.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:48.73,0:30:50.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are these, watermelons?
Dialogue: 0,0:30:50.50,0:30:52.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:52.90,0:30:53.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See ya.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:53.70,0:30:55.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your ears are sticking out. They are.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:56.07,0:30:58.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come back and see me\Nwhen you get em fixed.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:58.52,0:30:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See ya.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:01.21,0:31:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you spell MGM backwards?\NI bet you can't.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:03.41,0:31:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- MGM.\N- I'm impressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:05.61,0:31:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come back when you\Nfuck some of those baby fat off.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:08.05,0:31:11.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,\Nnone of this is that shocking
Dialogue: 0,0:31:11.96,0:31:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in 1995 this was next level stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:14.84,0:31:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Plus with the subject matter,\Nthis movie has a lot of nudity.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:18.16,0:31:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was rated NC-17 in America
Dialogue: 0,0:31:20.53,0:31:25.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to date it is the only NC-17 movie\Never given a wide release in theaters.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:25.22,0:31:27.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so explicit and controversial
Dialogue: 0,0:31:27.71,0:31:31.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that MGM had to hire security\Nat every movie theater in America
Dialogue: 0,0:31:31.19,0:31:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just to make sure nobody under\Nthe age of 18 snuck into the theater.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:34.57,0:31:36.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The movie lost millions of dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:31:36.75,0:31:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to this day, no studio has ever dared
Dialogue: 0,0:31:39.39,0:31:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try and release an NC-17 movie\Nin theaters again.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:42.32,0:31:46.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If this sounds interesting to you,\NI recommend giving this movie a watch
Dialogue: 0,0:31:46.20,0:31:49.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I can't really do it justice\Nwith just words alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:49.51,0:31:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just know what you're getting into
Dialogue: 0,0:31:51.40,0:31:54.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this movie is every bit\Nas traumatic as it is glamorous
Dialogue: 0,0:31:54.51,0:31:58.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And actually to prove to you\Nhow much I like this movie, watch this.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:59.32,0:32:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:00.69,0:32:01.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:03.68,0:32:05.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a showgirl.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:05.93,0:32:07.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a showgirl, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:08.47,0:32:09.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a showgirl.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:16.47,0:32:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the mid-90s
Dialogue: 0,0:32:17.22,0:32:19.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Demi Moore was one of the\Nbiggest film stars in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:20.24,0:32:22.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the world was dying to know,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:22.24,0:32:24.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:24.57,0:32:26.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's actually the only reason\Nthis movie exists.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:26.91,0:32:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:32:29.76,0:32:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most any woman had ever been paid\Nfor a movie role at the time
Dialogue: 0,0:32:33.17,0:32:36.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just so she would star in this movie\Nand show her boobs to the camera.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:37.88,0:32:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie is like if\NShowgirls was actually bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:40.80,0:32:44.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses\Nher daughter in a custody battle
Dialogue: 0,0:32:44.87,0:32:47.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then becomes a stripper in Florida\Nat the Eager Beaver
Dialogue: 0,0:32:47.78,0:32:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to pay for a court appeal.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:49.52,0:32:51.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She basically girlbosses being a stripper.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:51.92,0:32:54.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not in a nuanced way\Nlike Showgirls though.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:54.19,0:32:57.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in a stupid way\Nthat takes itself seriously
Dialogue: 0,0:32:57.19,0:32:59.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is mostly boring \Nand not believable at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:59.78,0:33:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Despite bad reviews, the movie\Nended up being a huge success
Dialogue: 0,0:33:02.80,0:33:05.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The director-writer-producer\NAndrew Bergman
Dialogue: 0,0:33:05.35,0:33:07.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically quit Hollywood after this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:33:07.60,0:33:09.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm pretty sure what happened is
Dialogue: 0,0:33:09.16,0:33:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,once he got Demi Moore \Nto agree to go topless,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:11.40,0:33:13.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he just phoned in the rest of the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:33:13.57,0:33:16.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because clearly the audiences\Nweren't watching for the plot.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:16.82,0:33:17.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what can I say?
Dialogue: 0,0:33:18.45,0:33:19.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's showbiz, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:20.37,0:33:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's…that's showbiz, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:31.14,0:33:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Postman takes place\Nin a distant future year of 2013
Dialogue: 0,0:33:35.16,0:33:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after much of humanity\Nhas been wiped out by a plague.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:37.76,0:33:40.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kevin Costner,\Nwho also directed the movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:40.43,0:33:44.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer\Nthat's conscripted to Caesar's Legion
Dialogue: 0,0:33:44.69,0:33:47.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He escapes and finds \Nan old mail bag full of mail
Dialogue: 0,0:33:47.06,0:33:49.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pretends to be a mailman\Nso he can get food
Dialogue: 0,0:33:49.32,0:33:52.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and accidentally restarts \Nthe US postal service in the process
Dialogue: 0,0:33:52.44,0:33:54.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also it's almost 3 hours long.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:54.52,0:33:59.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, as far as post-apocalyptic\Nadventures go, this one isn't that bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:59.06,0:34:02.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's about the same level of quality\Nas Waterworld, actually.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:02.12,0:34:06.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact that it was a 3 hour long \NKevin Costner vanity project,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:06.12,0:34:08.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,released just a week after Titanic,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:08.49,0:34:10.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,made it a very easy target for critics.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:10.64,0:34:13.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is Kevin Costner even up to,\Nthese days?
Dialogue: 0,0:34:13.31,0:34:16.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(typing) Kevin Costner.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:25.31,0:34:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:35.33,0:34:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you aren't familiar, \Nthe name Alan Smithee
Dialogue: 0,0:34:37.88,0:34:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is a fake name \Nthe Director's Guild came up with in 1968
Dialogue: 0,0:34:41.64,0:34:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that directors who took \Ntheir name off a movie
Dialogue: 0,0:34:44.06,0:34:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were required to use instead.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:45.55,0:34:47.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this movie caused such a headache
Dialogue: 0,0:34:47.86,0:34:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the Directors' Guild\Nhad to officially stop allowing
Dialogue: 0,0:34:50.97,0:34:53.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the use of the Alan Smithee \Nname in movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:53.32,0:34:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie was written by Joe Eszterhas
Dialogue: 0,0:34:55.78,0:34:57.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was directed by Arthur Hiller.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:57.51,0:35:01.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a mockumentary about a guy\Nwhose name was actually Alan Smithee
Dialogue: 0,0:35:01.00,0:35:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who directs an action movie\Nbut he hates the finished product
Dialogue: 0,0:35:03.86,0:35:06.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he steals the film reels\Nand holds them ransom
Dialogue: 0,0:35:06.32,0:35:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he wasn't allowed \Nto take his name off.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:08.64,0:35:10.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now behind the scenes in real life,
Dialogue: 0,0:35:10.33,0:35:13.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Joe Eszterhas was in charge of \Ncutting Burn Hollywood Burn
Dialogue: 0,0:35:13.25,0:35:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when Arthur Hiller \Nsaw the final version
Dialogue: 0,0:35:15.66,0:35:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he hated it so much \Nhe had his name taken off the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:35:19.00,0:35:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this of course created a confusion
Dialogue: 0,0:35:20.82,0:35:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this was a movie \Nabout Alan Smithee
Dialogue: 0,0:35:23.42,0:35:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the poster said it was \Ndirected by Alan Smithee
Dialogue: 0,0:35:26.26,0:35:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which you would assume was just a joke
Dialogue: 0,0:35:28.43,0:35:32.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but no, the director actually \Nhad his name taken off the movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:32.58,0:35:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would take me so long to explain \Neverything that's wrong with this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:35:36.15,0:35:37.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so let me sum it up in four words.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:38.46,0:35:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:40.59,0:35:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Didn't laugh.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:42.21,0:35:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's way too many characters,
Dialogue: 0,0:35:43.85,0:35:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the movie jumps all over the place
Dialogue: 0,0:35:45.78,0:35:47.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Harvey Weinstein is in it.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:47.61,0:35:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Eew."
Dialogue: 0,0:35:48.63,0:35:52.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's lots of not funny parts \Nwhere the camera freeze frames
Dialogue: 0,0:35:52.08,0:35:53.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there's a wall of text on screen.
Dialogue: 0,0:35:53.97,0:35:57.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm guessing what happened is \Nthey filmed all these scenes separately
Dialogue: 0,0:35:57.26,0:35:59.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thought they were hilarious on set
Dialogue: 0,0:35:59.15,0:36:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but during editing, they\Nrealized they had nothing to work with
Dialogue: 0,0:36:02.21,0:36:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it \Nby adding a bunch of text edit jokes
Dialogue: 0,0:36:06.31,0:36:08.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which actually made the movie worse.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:08.03,0:36:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have no proof of this\Nbut it seems right to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:10.80,0:36:13.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd probably do the same thing\Nin that situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:27.16,0:36:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok so this is a Western\Nsteampunk fusion movie
Dialogue: 0,0:36:30.24,0:36:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,starring the Fresh Prince and the guy \Nwho plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers
Dialogue: 0,0:36:34.38,0:36:36.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as cowboy government agents
Dialogue: 0,0:36:36.12,0:36:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hunting down an evil \Nex-Confederate officer with no legs
Dialogue: 0,0:36:39.42,0:36:43.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant \Nwith a giant robot spider.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:44.51,0:36:45.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what this movie is.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:45.94,0:36:48.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(hooting)
Dialogue: 0,0:36:50.07,0:36:53.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(trilling)
Dialogue: 0,0:36:53.75,0:36:55.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie is ridiculous.
Dialogue: 0,0:36:55.13,0:36:58.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know what the executives \Nat Warner Bros. were snorting
Dialogue: 0,0:36:58.56,0:37:01.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they decided\Nto spend over a 170 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:37:01.60,0:37:05.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a movie where cowboy Will Smith \Nfights a huge mecha spider
Dialogue: 0,0:37:05.05,0:37:06.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but thank god they did
Dialogue: 0,0:37:06.37,0:37:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because Will Smith turned down playing\NNeo in the Matrix to do this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:10.47,0:37:15.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to imagine now\Nif Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:16.76,0:37:17.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:37:17.96,0:37:20.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I probably would have\Nmessed the Matrix up.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:20.02,0:37:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would've ruined it.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:21.20,0:37:22.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I did y'all a favor.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:22.90,0:37:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This might not be a "good" movie
Dialogue: 0,0:37:25.04,0:37:27.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but oh my god it's so funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:27.38,0:37:29.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Plus the theme song is pretty fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:29.42,0:37:33.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I may quote one of the great\Ngangster rappers, William 'Will' Smith,
Dialogue: 0,0:37:33.84,0:37:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, \Nwicki wicki wild
Dialogue: 0,0:37:38.60,0:37:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wicki wild, \Nwicki wicki wild wild wild west.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:44.85,0:37:49.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.
Dialogue: 0,0:37:50.30,0:37:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you find those lyrics inspiring?
Dialogue: 0,0:37:51.99,0:37:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, I…
Dialogue: 0,0:38:00.83,0:38:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Battlefield Earth is \Nan action sci-fi movie
Dialogue: 0,0:38:03.50,0:38:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,based on a novel written by \NL. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology
Dialogue: 0,0:38:07.50,0:38:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which he wrote in 1982
Dialogue: 0,0:38:09.50,0:38:13.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he was in hiding to avoid \Ngoing to prison for his numerous crimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:13.17,0:38:15.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's about a distant future world
Dialogue: 0,0:38:15.01,0:38:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where humanity has been enslaved \Nby aliens called "psychlos"
Dialogue: 0,0:38:18.18,0:38:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which are a very obvious metaphor for
Dialogue: 0,0:38:20.35,0:38:22.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic \Nhate of psychiatrists.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:22.73,0:38:26.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,John Travolta, who plays \Nthe evil alien leader named Turl
Dialogue: 0,0:38:26.36,0:38:29.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and has been a scientologist since 1975
Dialogue: 0,0:38:29.06,0:38:31.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is directly responsible\Nfor this movie existing.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:31.72,0:38:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The production company
Dialogue: 0,0:38:33.12,0:38:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was later found to have defrauded \Ninvestors out of 31 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:38:36.86,0:38:38.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by overreporting production costs
Dialogue: 0,0:38:38.71,0:38:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,causing a lawsuit that forced the company\Nto go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:43.19,0:38:46.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On top of that, the movie \Nwas a massive financial flop
Dialogue: 0,0:38:46.24,0:38:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not just because the movie\Nand its John Travolta action figures
Dialogue: 0,0:38:49.23,0:38:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were an obvious Scientology\Nrecruitment tactic
Dialogue: 0,0:38:51.88,0:38:54.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but because the movie itself \Nwas a visual nightmare.
Dialogue: 0,0:38:54.64,0:38:56.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The special effects are ugly,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:56.36,0:38:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the costumes are disgusting,
Dialogue: 0,0:38:57.88,0:39:00.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the whole movie was filmed\Nwith crooked angles
Dialogue: 0,0:39:00.51,0:39:02.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that changed multiple times a scene.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:02.77,0:39:05.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which gave a bunch of people \Nmotion sickness.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:05.27,0:39:06.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a really infamously bad movie
Dialogue: 0,0:39:06.89,0:39:09.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's been covered by many \Nother channels over the years
Dialogue: 0,0:39:09.73,0:39:12.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if you want more info, \Ngo watch one of those videos.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:12.43,0:39:14.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just don't watch the movie itself.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:14.16,0:39:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It'll do nothing but make you nauseous\Nand waste two hours of your time.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:17.57,0:39:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm serious, you guys, don't do it.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:26.99,0:39:29.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest,
Dialogue: 0,0:39:29.28,0:39:31.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:31.17,0:39:34.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my friends and I watched this movie\Nfour times during quarantine
Dialogue: 0,0:39:34.69,0:39:36.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we kinda bonded over it.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:36.31,0:39:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this movie\Nhas a special place in my heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:38.58,0:39:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Aw."
Dialogue: 0,0:39:39.84,0:39:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I made Nikki watch it instead.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:41.41,0:39:42.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's never seen it before.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:42.71,0:39:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here she is now.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:44.04,0:39:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where the hell do I even\Nbegin with this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:39:47.18,0:39:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Part of me thinks this movie is\Nsome kind of deep anti-comedy
Dialogue: 0,0:39:51.17,0:39:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meant to satirize the\Nother gross out comedies
Dialogue: 0,0:39:54.59,0:39:56.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that were popular in the early 2000s
Dialogue: 0,0:39:56.93,0:40:00.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the other part of me thinks\Nthat maybe it means nothing at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:00.36,0:40:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean any normal human being
Dialogue: 0,0:40:02.80,0:40:04.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will read a title like
Dialogue: 0,0:40:04.50,0:40:07.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Freddy Got Fingered
Dialogue: 0,0:40:07.16,0:40:09.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and run away in the opposite direction.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:09.45,0:40:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the fuck\Nis that supposed to mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:40:13.83,0:40:17.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But to put it simply, this movie\Nis about a 28 year old man
Dialogue: 0,0:40:17.59,0:40:20.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Stop it, stop it, Mom,\NI'm a 28 year old man.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:20.45,0:40:22.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:23.09,0:40:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His name is Gord and\Nhe moves to LA to be a cheese worker.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:27.96,0:40:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also to pursue his dreams\Nof being a professional animator.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:32.06,0:40:35.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seems pretty simple, right?\NSeems pretty cut and dry?
Dialogue: 0,0:40:35.61,0:40:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that's where you'd be wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:37.78,0:40:40.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because so very many things\Nhappen in this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:40:40.76,0:40:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are beyond human explanation.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:43.67,0:40:45.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just to name a few,
Dialogue: 0,0:40:45.16,0:40:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tom Green jerks off a horse
Dialogue: 0,0:40:47.16,0:40:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he swings a baby around\Nby its umbilical cord
Dialogue: 0,0:40:51.36,0:40:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass
Dialogue: 0,0:40:53.51,0:40:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he goes scuba diving\Nin his own toilet.
Dialogue: 0,0:40:57.74,0:41:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Get out of that toilet!\N- (bubbling, gurgling)
Dialogue: 0,0:41:02.88,0:41:06.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But at the risk of sounding\Nclinically insane
Dialogue: 0,0:41:06.60,0:41:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and demented
Dialogue: 0,0:41:07.84,0:41:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there are moments in this movie\Nthat I find kind of relatable.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:13.21,0:41:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like this one where the CEO\Nof an animation company
Dialogue: 0,0:41:16.17,0:41:19.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tells Gord that he doesn't\Nlike his drawings.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:19.54,0:41:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It sucks.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:20.61,0:41:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so he immediately sticks a gun\Nin his mouth and starts screaming.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:25.04,0:41:26.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Characters are lame, I'm a loser
Dialogue: 0,0:41:26.70,0:41:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish I was dead.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:27.95,0:41:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (screaming)\N- Wait, wait.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:29.64,0:41:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What makes this even funnier \Nis that once he receives validation,
Dialogue: 0,0:41:34.62,0:41:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts\Nlike none of that ever happened at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:38.76,0:41:42.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sir I can't work on this all day, I got \Na job at the cheese sandwich factory.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:42.42,0:41:47.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're mentally ill, and make art,\Nthis is the film for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:47.36,0:41:49.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's time I get a job\Nand do something with my life
Dialogue: 0,0:41:49.86,0:41:51.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of acting like \Na little baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:51.100,0:41:54.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't think of anything to draw\Nbecause I'm so stupid.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:54.68,0:41:55.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm so stupid.
Dialogue: 0,0:41:55.70,0:41:58.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this movie surprised me\Nin so many different ways
Dialogue: 0,0:41:58.81,0:42:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For one, it made me laugh\Nway more than I anticipated.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:02.65,0:42:05.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can't you see we're both\Njust a couple of stupid idiots.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:05.34,0:42:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Gord…\N- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!
Dialogue: 0,0:42:08.47,0:42:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was also weirdly based at times.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:12.24,0:42:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say weirdly because the early 2000s\Nwas a derogatory fever dream.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:17.49,0:42:20.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was like running thru the perfume\Ndepartment in SpongeBob
Dialogue: 0,0:42:20.71,0:42:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the perfume was slurs.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:22.76,0:42:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gord ends up asking out\Nthis nurse named Betty
Dialogue: 0,0:42:26.84,0:42:31.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she says yes, but afterwards\Nhe finds out that she's in a wheelchair.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:31.39,0:42:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At first I was like, oh shit, \Nit's about to get really ableist in here
Dialogue: 0,0:42:37.10,0:42:37.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lel-lel-lel.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:37.97,0:42:39.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was truly prepared for the worst.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:39.76,0:42:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my expectations were\Ncompletely subverted when Betty ended up
Dialogue: 0,0:42:44.32,0:42:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only being the smartest\Nperson in this whole movie
Dialogue: 0,0:42:47.53,0:42:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but her and Gord remain in\Na relationship for the rest of the film.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:52.59,0:42:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I have a bag of jewels for you.\N- Gord…
Dialogue: 0,0:42:55.84,0:42:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- They're jewels, Betty.\NThey're jewels.
Dialogue: 0,0:42:58.60,0:43:00.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another interesting thing to me is that
Dialogue: 0,0:43:00.89,0:43:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Betty constantly wants to
Dialogue: 0,0:43:02.94,0:43:04.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give Gord a blowjob.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:04.72,0:43:05.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here me out dude!
Dialogue: 0,0:43:05.94,0:43:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She asks him this\Nso many times in the movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:09.44,0:43:12.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it comes off as\Nvery obviously satirical.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:12.89,0:43:17.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gord, I don't care about jewels, \NI just wanna suck your cock
Dialogue: 0,0:43:17.25,0:43:18.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My life's a little hectic,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:18.49,0:43:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm having trouble concentrating\Nwith all the skateboarding…
Dialogue: 0,0:43:21.42,0:43:23.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You sucking my penis all the time\N- (chuckling)
Dialogue: 0,0:43:23.77,0:43:26.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, my expectations were subverted
Dialogue: 0,0:43:26.25,0:43:31.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by Gord being the one who repeatedly asks\Nif they can just go out on a date.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:31.34,0:43:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just think if we went out \Non at least one date
Dialogue: 0,0:43:33.82,0:43:35.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you didn't do any sucking right now
Dialogue: 0,0:43:35.76,0:43:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would make the whole \Nsucking to date ratio
Dialogue: 0,0:43:38.11,0:43:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,far more balanced, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:43:39.80,0:43:44.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This could be a play on the trope\Nof male protagonists in comedy especially
Dialogue: 0,0:43:44.75,0:43:46.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being obsessed with sex
Dialogue: 0,0:43:46.67,0:43:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And not only that but women\Nbeing ultra sexualized in these movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:51.09,0:43:54.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not all the subversion in this movie\Nis good, though, necessarily.
Dialogue: 0,0:43:54.78,0:43:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were wondering\Nhow the movie got its title,
Dialogue: 0,0:43:57.61,0:44:01.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I shit you not,\Nabout 50 minutes into the film,
Dialogue: 0,0:44:01.14,0:44:05.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gord frames his dad\Nfor "fingering" his brother.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:05.66,0:44:07.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least I don't touch Freddy.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:07.10,0:44:08.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He fingers him.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:08.07,0:44:11.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His brother who is like 25\Nand doesn't even live with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:11.10,0:44:12.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- He's a molester!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:12.40,0:44:15.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a child molester!
Dialogue: 0,0:44:15.37,0:44:18.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But CPS literally goes into his apartment
Dialogue: 0,0:44:18.14,0:44:21.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and takes him to the molestation hospital.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:21.05,0:44:22.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this shocking?
Dialogue: 0,0:44:22.67,0:44:23.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:23.74,0:44:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if it's shocking compared to \Nthe other things in this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:27.64,0:44:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:44:30.34,0:44:31.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it in poor taste?
Dialogue: 0,0:44:31.93,0:44:33.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh…luhh…luhh…
Dialogue: 0,0:44:33.63,0:44:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:34.59,0:44:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this whole framing of the fingering
Dialogue: 0,0:44:37.04,0:44:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the canon event that\Nleads to the finale of the film.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:40.64,0:44:43.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Gord pranks his dad by
Dialogue: 0,0:44:43.02,0:44:46.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,abducting him in the middle of the night\Nand taking him to Pakistan.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:46.98,0:44:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're fucking dead.
Dialogue: 0,0:44:50.24,0:44:54.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They could write books\Nand novels and college theseses
Dialogue: 0,0:44:54.21,0:44:58.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about everything else that happen\Nbetween then and the ending
Dialogue: 0,0:44:58.52,0:45:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just know that this movie\Nends with Gord and his dad
Dialogue: 0,0:45:01.90,0:45:03.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being covered in elephant cum
Dialogue: 0,0:45:03.75,0:45:08.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(elephant trumpeting)
Dialogue: 0,0:45:08.35,0:45:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Speaking of which,\Nthere's an elephant in this room!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:11.26,0:45:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The elephant is that\NI actually kinda like this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:16.32,0:45:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also the elephant is coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:17.68,0:45:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that so wrong?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:19.43,0:45:22.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And is it so wrong that maybe kinda
Dialogue: 0,0:45:22.31,0:45:25.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I might be attracted\Nto Tom Green in this movie?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:25.31,0:45:29.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it ok that he might be\Nthe Pete Davidson of the 90s?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:29.100,0:45:30.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shut up.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:30.84,0:45:33.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As far as career-ruining films go,
Dialogue: 0,0:45:33.45,0:45:37.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tom Green took the failure\Nof Freddy very very well.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:37.37,0:45:39.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He even showed up\Nto accept his Golden Razzie.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:39.91,0:45:41.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He rolled out his own red carpet too.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:41.97,0:45:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Well done you guys. Give him some space.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:47.28,0:45:48.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Thank you so much!
Dialogue: 0,0:45:48.67,0:45:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Can you grab that at the end?
Dialogue: 0,0:45:50.17,0:45:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:45:51.22,0:45:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Celebrate your successes
Dialogue: 0,0:45:53.17,0:45:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and your failures.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:01.74,0:46:04.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] A remake of an Italian film\Nfrom 1974
Dialogue: 0,0:46:04.66,0:46:07.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Swept Away is a movie \Nwhere Madonna plays the dumbest
Dialogue: 0,0:46:07.35,0:46:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most unlikable rich woman in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:46:09.75,0:46:12.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who gets marooned\Non an island with an Italian sailor
Dialogue: 0,0:46:12.46,0:46:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who hates her and sexually assaults her.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:14.82,0:46:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,3 minutes after that
Dialogue: 0,0:46:16.52,0:46:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a time skip\Nand suddenly they're in love.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:18.87,0:46:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a nasty nasty nasty movie
Dialogue: 0,0:46:21.73,0:46:23.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't even wanna talk about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:23.56,0:46:27.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was so bad it caused\NMadonna to give up on acting entirely.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:27.08,0:46:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:30.24,0:46:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially when you consider\Nthe movie was directed
Dialogue: 0,0:46:32.72,0:46:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:34.67,0:46:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008
Dialogue: 0,0:46:37.24,0:46:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in my opinion, queen should've\Ndivorced Ritchie on the spot
Dialogue: 0,0:46:40.35,0:46:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for even suggesting this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:41.86,0:46:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:44.15,0:46:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's nothing glamorous about it.\NYou were really mean to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:47.59,0:46:49.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I just want to slap you on camera.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:49.33,0:46:50.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why, Mrs. Ritchie?
Dialogue: 0,0:46:50.94,0:46:54.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For those times you let Adriano \Nslap me and never yelled 'cut'.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:54.02,0:46:54.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Ritchie] One more.
Dialogue: 0,0:46:54.94,0:46:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- those times they threw octopuses on me,
Dialogue: 0,0:46:56.94,0:46:59.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you made me stay \Nin the freezing water
Dialogue: 0,0:46:59.05,0:47:01.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you made me run down the sand dunes
Dialogue: 0,0:47:01.02,0:47:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when you ate my food.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:02.21,0:47:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you didn't pay me.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:03.48,0:47:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you never said thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:05.02,0:47:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(crying)
Dialogue: 0,0:47:25.31,0:47:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high
Dialogue: 0,0:47:27.64,0:47:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered
Dialogue: 0,0:47:30.23,0:47:34.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when Gigli came in\Nand literally snuffed the life out of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:34.30,0:47:36.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gigli is a movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:37.63,0:47:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's about a mobster named Gigli
Dialogue: 0,0:47:39.53,0:47:42.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:42.30,0:47:44.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Much like this review on Letterboxd,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:44.62,0:47:47.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I too hope Gigli kills himself.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:47.29,0:47:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because not only does he abduct\Na mentally challenged teenager,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:51.94,0:47:54.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and abuse him\Nwhile holding him for ransom,
Dialogue: 0,0:47:55.59,0:47:57.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if I smack you\Nin the fucking head?
Dialogue: 0,0:47:57.46,0:47:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's also just cringe.
Dialogue: 0,0:47:59.94,0:48:01.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unforgivably so.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:01.45,0:48:04.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately
Dialogue: 0,0:48:04.45,0:48:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she plays this\Nother mobster or mobsterette
Dialogue: 0,0:48:08.14,0:48:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is supposed to help him\Ntake care of this mentally disabled kid
Dialogue: 0,0:48:12.17,0:48:15.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she also just happens to be a lesbian.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:15.15,0:48:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means I'm a lesbian.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:18.83,0:48:22.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or should I say, the least\Nconvincing lesbian in film history.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:22.85,0:48:25.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No lesbians were consulted\Nin the making of this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:25.84,0:48:27.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because what the fuck is this?
Dialogue: 0,0:48:27.29,0:48:28.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's turkey time.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:30.96,0:48:31.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Huh?
Dialogue: 0,0:48:31.88,0:48:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gobble gobble.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:32.76,0:48:34.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may not be able to tell
Dialogue: 0,0:48:34.43,0:48:38.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this is the weirdest way\NI've ever heard anyone describe it
Dialogue: 0,0:48:38.07,0:48:40.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but she's talking about eating pussy here.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:40.86,0:48:44.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I really don't know who told J.Lo.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:44.05,0:48:45.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or whoever wrote this script
Dialogue: 0,0:48:45.67,0:48:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that lesbians call that turkey time.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:48.38,0:48:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But whoever it was deserves\Nto be taken out behind a barn and shot.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:51.90,0:48:55.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of course Gigli doesn't\Nrespect her sexuality.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:55.93,0:48:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your girlfriends, they're at\Na natural disadvantage.
Dialogue: 0,0:48:58.90,0:49:01.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They might try hard\Nbut they're not just backed up
Dialogue: 0,0:49:01.82,0:49:04.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by millions of years\Nof genetic engineering.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:04.41,0:49:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He whines and complains\Nthroughout the whole movie about
Dialogue: 0,0:49:07.58,0:49:11.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian\Nbut I'm attracted to her.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:11.18,0:49:12.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanna be with her.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:12.45,0:49:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know why I'm fucking sad?\NI've got this fucking
Dialogue: 0,0:49:14.87,0:49:17.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,beautiful, sexy, gorgeous\Nheartthrobba-rama
Dialogue: 0,0:49:17.44,0:49:19.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fucking smart, amazing, bombshell
Dialogue: 0,0:49:19.05,0:49:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,17 on a fucking 10 scale girl
Dialogue: 0,0:49:20.46,0:49:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sleeping on the bed next to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:21.97,0:49:23.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's a stone cold dyke.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:23.43,0:49:25.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A fucking untouchable, \Nunaffable, unattainable
Dialogue: 0,0:49:25.70,0:49:27.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,brick wall fucking dykossaurus rex.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:27.42,0:49:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(mocking) Eugh…eugh…
Dialogue: 0,0:49:28.73,0:49:32.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after enough complaining, \NRicki starts doing deeds with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:32.48,0:49:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:35.38,0:49:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but in the hypothetical scenario
Dialogue: 0,0:49:37.95,0:49:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where for some reason \Na lesbian had sex with a guy
Dialogue: 0,0:49:41.86,0:49:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it would not be with this guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:45.92,0:49:48.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's always like \Nlicking his teeth and shit.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:51.45,0:49:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But luckily there's not just \Nlesbian cringe,
Dialogue: 0,0:49:54.69,0:49:56.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This ain't fucking \Nlesbian talk circle time!
Dialogue: 0,0:49:56.84,0:49:59.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also plenty of \Nheterosexual cringe.
Dialogue: 0,0:49:59.79,0:50:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God bless you penis.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:00.97,0:50:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And gay cringe.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:02.42,0:50:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not gay!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:03.31,0:50:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Despite this movie literally \Nbeing about mobsters,
Dialogue: 0,0:50:07.26,0:50:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nothing mobster-related really happens \Nin this movie until the last 30 minutes
Dialogue: 0,0:50:12.85,0:50:15.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where for some reason Al Pacino is here.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:15.46,0:50:17.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You piece of shit!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:17.24,0:50:20.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure this is Al Pacino's\Nfavorite role of all time
Dialogue: 0,0:50:20.23,0:50:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right up there next to Jack and Jill.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:22.04,0:50:25.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, \Nwe got em.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:25.27,0:50:25.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ho!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:26.29,0:50:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ho!
Dialogue: 0,0:50:27.95,0:50:29.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But to give it to you straight,
Dialogue: 0,0:50:29.45,0:50:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the movie ends with \NGigli leaving the mentally disabled kid
Dialogue: 0,0:50:33.59,0:50:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a random beach \Nwith the cast of Baywatch.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:37.88,0:50:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's literally played out like it's \Nsupposed to be this inspirational thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:42.32,0:50:44.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like a tearjerker or something.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:44.31,0:50:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(inspirational music)
Dialogue: 0,0:50:52.15,0:50:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki \Nride off into the sunset
Dialogue: 0,0:50:55.35,0:50:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just as she's telling him \Nthat he should wear some makeup.
Dialogue: 0,0:50:58.62,0:51:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know I bet \Nyou'd look awesome in some mascara.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:01.62,0:51:03.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do not watch this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:03.23,0:51:05.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You will get a UTI.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:05.28,0:51:06.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or that other thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:15.30,0:51:18.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] Ok first of all,\Nthis movie is Catwoman in name only.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:18.46,0:51:20.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Despite being a DC comics movie,
Dialogue: 0,0:51:20.54,0:51:23.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Catwoman of this movie \Nhas nothing to do
Dialogue: 0,0:51:23.00,0:51:24.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the Catwoman from Batman.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:24.50,0:51:26.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This character has a different name
Dialogue: 0,0:51:26.22,0:51:27.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lives in a different city
Dialogue: 0,0:51:27.72,0:51:31.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and gets her cat superpowers from \Na magic cat burping in her mouth.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:31.64,0:51:35.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just so stupid, \Nit's actually really fun to watch.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:35.68,0:51:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially the CGI Halle Berry \Nduring the action scenes.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:38.69,0:51:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:40.02,0:51:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As you might expect this movie bombed hard
Dialogue: 0,0:51:42.07,0:51:45.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probably because they put it in theaters\Naround the same time as Spiderman 2.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:45.76,0:51:49.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:51:50.18,0:51:51.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:51:51.87,0:51:54.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now
Dialogue: 0,0:51:54.04,0:51:57.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the director Pitof was \Nbasically laughed out of Hollywood
Dialogue: 0,0:51:57.16,0:51:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never directed a movie again.
Dialogue: 0,0:51:58.83,0:52:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Halle Berry embraced \Nthis movie was a flop
Dialogue: 0,0:52:01.12,0:52:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even showed up in person\Nto accept her Razzie award.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:03.92,0:52:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:05.85,0:52:07.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(crowd laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:07.63,0:52:11.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you for putting me in \Na piece of shit god-awful movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:11.45,0:52:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(crowd laughing, cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:16.68,0:52:17.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Berry cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:52:24.06,0:52:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dirty love is a…
Dialogue: 0,0:52:26.50,0:52:27.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"comedy",
Dialogue: 0,0:52:27.58,0:52:29.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,
Dialogue: 0,0:52:29.41,0:52:33.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,notorious anti-vaxxer and \NMasked Singer judge, Jenny McCarthy.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:33.20,0:52:37.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She stars as a woman who gets dumped \Nby her boyfriend and her life falls apart.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:37.14,0:52:40.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really unhinged \Nbut not in a funny kind of way.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:40.25,0:52:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and \NI wanna leave the room," kind of way.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:44.04,0:52:46.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a hard time \Nfinding clips of this movie online
Dialogue: 0,0:52:46.63,0:52:49.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's pretty obscure \Nand nobody likes it.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:49.03,0:52:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's mostly badly delivered jokes \Nand gross out humor
Dialogue: 0,0:52:51.94,0:52:53.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a feminine spin.
Dialogue: 0,0:52:53.65,0:52:56.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And by feminine spin\NI, of course, mean period jokes
Dialogue: 0,0:52:56.97,0:52:59.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like this scene where \Na bleeding Jenny McCarthy
Dialogue: 0,0:52:59.35,0:53:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,goes to the grocery in a white skirt\Nand no underwear
Dialogue: 0,0:53:01.90,0:53:03.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and almost bleeds out on the floor.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:03.67,0:53:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, relatable comedy for women.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:05.73,0:53:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just girly things.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:07.08,0:53:09.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hashtag just girly things.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:09.17,0:53:10.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just girly things.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:10.36,0:53:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a girly thing,\Nso you wouldn't understand, boys.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:13.36,0:53:14.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a girly thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:14.87,0:53:16.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hashtag just girly things.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:16.95,0:53:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:19.90,0:53:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:30.98,0:53:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this is a sequel to Basic Instinct,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:33.26,0:53:35.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an erotic murder mystery thriller \Nfrom the early 90s
Dialogue: 0,0:53:35.92,0:53:37.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's maybe best remembered \Nfor this scene
Dialogue: 0,0:53:37.99,0:53:40.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where Newman from Seinfeld \Nsees Sharon Stone's
Dialogue: 0,0:53:40.33,0:53:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bare, uncensored pussy \Nin an interrogation room.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:42.95,0:53:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The original was nominated \Nfor a few Razzies in its day
Dialogue: 0,0:53:45.64,0:53:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it was a massive box office hit
Dialogue: 0,0:53:47.53,0:53:50.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is today remembered as \Na pretty solid neo-noir thriller.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:50.50,0:53:53.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, Basic Instinct 2, on the other hand,\Nonly exists
Dialogue: 0,0:53:53.34,0:53:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because Sharon Stone was promised\N14 million dollars to star in the movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:53:56.95,0:53:58.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When the producers tried to cancel it,
Dialogue: 0,0:53:58.82,0:54:00.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she sued them to force them to make it.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:00.83,0:54:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't take it so hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:02.76,0:54:05.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:05.38,0:54:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's hard to talk about this movie\Nwithout spoiling the original a bit.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:08.78,0:54:11.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I will say that overall\NI didn't hate this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:11.38,0:54:15.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also barely remember the plot \Nand I only saw it a couple of months ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:15.45,0:54:19.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It rehashes a lot of the same story beats \Nand plot points as the original,
Dialogue: 0,0:54:19.45,0:54:20.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just not as good.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:20.49,0:54:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Would I call it a terrible movie?
Dialogue: 0,0:54:22.60,0:54:23.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, not really.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:23.94,0:54:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Compared to the original,\Nit's pretty bland and forgettable.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:26.82,0:54:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that's what happens when you make \Na movie just to avoid a massive lawsuit.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:30.77,0:54:33.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gotta love showbiz, baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:42.96,0:54:46.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie \Nstarring Lindsay Lohan
Dialogue: 0,0:54:46.04,0:54:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a girl who is kidnapped \Nby a serial killer
Dialogue: 0,0:54:48.21,0:54:51.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but survives and wakes up in the hospital \Nsaying she's someone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:54:51.46,0:54:54.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie was released in July 27, 2007
Dialogue: 0,0:54:54.79,0:54:57.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy \Nabout Lindsay Lohan
Dialogue: 0,0:54:57.72,0:55:00.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and her struggles with \Nalcohol and drug addiction.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:00.06,0:55:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a lot of attention on it\Nwhile it was filming.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:02.81,0:55:05.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Especially because Lohan \Nchecked into rehab for the first time
Dialogue: 0,0:55:05.93,0:55:07.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a month into production.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:07.12,0:55:09.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The film set was so swarmed with paparazzi
Dialogue: 0,0:55:09.27,0:55:12.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that sometimes in the movie,\Nsome were in the background.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:12.30,0:55:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then a couple months\Nafter filming wrapped,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:14.30,0:55:16.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:16.15,0:55:19.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then on July 24th, just three days \Nbefore the movie was released,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:19.37,0:55:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again
Dialogue: 0,0:55:21.90,0:55:23.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and couldn't attend the premiere.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:23.51,0:55:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of this negative media attention\Nmade Lindsay Lohan
Dialogue: 0,0:55:26.12,0:55:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,enemy number one in Hollywood.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:27.87,0:55:29.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Critics eviscerated this movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:29.64,0:55:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in a year since its release,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:31.38,0:55:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this film has kind of become\Na cult classic with horror movie fans.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:34.38,0:55:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's been screened in theaters\Nmany times over the last decade.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:37.52,0:55:40.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've seen a lot of people online\Ncompare it to giallo movies,
Dialogue: 0,0:55:40.44,0:55:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an Italian film genre\Npopular in the 60s and 70s
Dialogue: 0,0:55:43.56,0:55:46.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that mixed elements of murder movies, \Nslashers, and erotica.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:46.86,0:55:49.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The influence of giallo is\Ndefinitely present here.
Dialogue: 0,0:55:49.32,0:55:51.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a stylish weird thriller
Dialogue: 0,0:55:51.27,0:55:54.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Lohan's background made her\Nkind of perfect for the role
Dialogue: 0,0:55:54.15,0:55:57.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as the main character quickly transforms \Nfrom a sweet high school girl
Dialogue: 0,0:55:57.90,0:56:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into a deeply traumatized woman \Nwith a robotic hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:00.57,0:56:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's definitely not for everyone, \Nmyself included,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:03.50,0:56:05.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if you're into \Nweird gory horror movies,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:05.60,0:56:07.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there's a lot to vibe with here.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:07.14,0:56:09.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's much better than Norbit,\Nthat's for sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:09.35,0:56:10.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you ever seen Norbit?
Dialogue: 0,0:56:11.00,0:56:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:56:13.66,0:56:15.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ah! Bitches!
Dialogue: 0,0:56:15.36,0:56:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:56:19.33,0:56:21.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(screaming)
Dialogue: 0,0:56:30.15,0:56:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Love Guru is a movie
Dialogue: 0,0:56:31.62,0:56:34.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,written by, produced by, \Nand starring Mike Meyers
Dialogue: 0,0:56:34.48,0:56:36.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's mostly remembered as the movie
Dialogue: 0,0:56:36.27,0:56:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that completely tanked his career
Dialogue: 0,0:56:37.84,0:56:40.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and caused him to step away \Nfrom Hollywood for 8 years.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:40.61,0:56:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Critics and audiences both hated it.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:43.28,0:56:44.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With critics calling it
Dialogue: 0,0:56:44.38,0:56:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lazy, immature, mindless, \Npitiable, insulting, painful,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:47.80,0:56:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gross, contemptuous, \Nracist, and unlikable,
Dialogue: 0,0:56:50.39,0:56:51.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,among many other things.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:51.87,0:56:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But don't take their word for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:53.79,0:56:55.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take my word for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:57.32,0:56:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have any other words for it,\Nthat sums it up.
Dialogue: 0,0:56:59.85,0:57:01.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This scene was in the trailer.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:01.50,0:57:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woah! How did you get there?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:03.32,0:57:04.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(groans)
Dialogue: 0,0:57:05.24,0:57:07.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This little guy scared the crap out of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:07.29,0:57:08.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I might have to do a panty check,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:08.88,0:57:10.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might have some monkey mustard back there.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:10.89,0:57:12.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who is this prick?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:12.13,0:57:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shh.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:13.08,0:57:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man, how do you do? Shrimp?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:16.86,0:57:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What did you call me, jagomoe?
Dialogue: 0,0:57:18.67,0:57:20.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!
Dialogue: 0,0:57:22.45,0:57:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are a midget.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:23.76,0:57:26.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The plot of this movie is Mike Myers
Dialogue: 0,0:57:26.20,0:57:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka
Dialogue: 0,0:57:29.08,0:57:30.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was raised in India
Dialogue: 0,0:57:30.51,0:57:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wears a chastity belt
Dialogue: 0,0:57:31.87,0:57:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and dreams of being on Oprah.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:33.52,0:57:35.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves
Dialogue: 0,0:57:35.33,0:57:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help their star player \Nget back together with his wife
Dialogue: 0,0:57:38.06,0:57:39.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he is the Love Guru
Dialogue: 0,0:57:39.43,0:57:41.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and only he can save their marriage.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:41.55,0:57:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's basically a one note movie
Dialogue: 0,0:57:43.28,0:57:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that feels like it was written \Nby a 10 year old boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:45.79,0:57:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every scene goes on for too long,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:47.53,0:57:49.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes
Dialogue: 0,0:57:49.69,0:57:51.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pretty much every line is about
Dialogue: 0,0:57:51.41,0:57:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:53.56,0:57:56.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with many of the characters' names \Nbeing dick jokes.
Dialogue: 0,0:57:56.06,0:57:57.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We got Tugginmypudha,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:57.81,0:57:59.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coach Cherkov,
Dialogue: 0,0:57:59.61,0:58:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Le Coq,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:00.56,0:58:01.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dick Pants,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:01.94,0:58:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:05.48,0:58:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not funny that John Oliver \Nis named Dick Pants.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:08.20,0:58:09.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:09.29,0:58:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:18.35,0:58:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive)\NOk, I'll be the first to say that
Dialogue: 0,0:58:20.41,0:58:23.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think any of the \NTransformers movies are particularly good.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:23.73,0:58:24.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That being said,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:24.55,0:58:27.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen\Nis definitely the worst one,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:27.68,0:58:30.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if only for how offensive \Nand annoying it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:30.58,0:58:33.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pretty much every Transformer\Nintroduced in this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:58:33.16,0:58:34.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,either talks with a racist accent,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:34.100,0:58:37.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the most annoying \Ncartoon voice imaginable.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:37.65,0:58:39.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when it isn't being \Nannoying or racist,
Dialogue: 0,0:58:39.72,0:58:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's doing shit like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:41.20,0:58:44.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…\NSay my name…hah…hah…
Dialogue: 0,0:58:44.77,0:58:46.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you allowing\Nto happen to your foot?
Dialogue: 0,0:58:46.88,0:58:48.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At least he's faithful, Sam.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:48.24,0:58:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, well, he's faithful,\Nand he's nude and he's perverted.
Dialogue: 0,0:58:51.09,0:58:52.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hah…hah…hah…
Dialogue: 0,0:58:56.76,0:58:58.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(sighs)
Dialogue: 0,0:58:58.81,0:59:02.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like is it any wonder \NMegan Fox quit the series after this?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:02.23,0:59:06.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sadly this movie\Nended up making 836 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,0:59:06.16,0:59:09.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was about 100 million more dollars \Nthan Up made that same year.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:11.46,0:59:14.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- This is giving me a heart attack.\N- 'Cause you was a wuss.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:14.30,0:59:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You forced me into that car, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:16.02,0:59:17.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh I think he scared.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:17.12,0:59:19.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do\Nwith this shrimp taco?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:19.66,0:59:23.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lemme pop a cap in his ass, throw him\Nin the truck, nobody gonna know nothing.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:27.38,0:59:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why don't you get a haircut \Nwith your bitch ass?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:36.92,0:59:38.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What can I even say about this movie
Dialogue: 0,0:59:38.70,0:59:40.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that hasn't been said \Na thousand times already?
Dialogue: 0,0:59:40.96,0:59:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This live action trashfire \Ndirected by M. Night Shyamalan
Dialogue: 0,0:59:44.10,0:59:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,attempted to condense the first season \Nof an amazing animated TV show
Dialogue: 0,0:59:47.70,0:59:50.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:50.26,0:59:51.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe if you watch this,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:51.72,0:59:53.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having never seen the original series,
Dialogue: 0,0:59:53.70,0:59:56.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's just another lame \NHollywood fantasy action movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:56.83,0:59:59.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for fans of the series, \Nthis was offensively bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:59:59.73,1:00:00.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The creators of the show
Dialogue: 0,1:00:00.91,1:00:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,were not allowed to give any input \Non the movie's development.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:03.87,1:00:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Beloved characters were made \None-dimensional and pointless,
Dialogue: 0,1:00:06.69,1:00:08.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,major plot points were skipped over,
Dialogue: 0,1:00:08.78,1:00:10.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,characters' names are pronounced wrong.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:10.95,1:00:12.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How do you even screw that up?
Dialogue: 0,1:00:12.66,1:00:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This movie made a lot of money
Dialogue: 0,1:00:14.13,1:00:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but was so hated by audiences
Dialogue: 0,1:00:15.79,1:00:18.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Paramount must have known \Nthey couldn't fool people twice
Dialogue: 0,1:00:18.76,1:00:21.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cancelled plans \Nto adapt the other 2 seasons,
Dialogue: 0,1:00:21.16,1:00:25.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,effectively sinking the career of the kid \Nwho played Aang before it even began.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:25.16,1:00:26.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just sad.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:26.11,1:00:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole movie is \Na sad waste of source material.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:29.02,1:00:32.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You'd probably have a better time \Nplaying the official Wii game
Dialogue: 0,1:00:32.82,1:00:34.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than watching this movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:34.22,1:00:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(vaguely Asian music)\N(wheels skidding)
Dialogue: 0,1:00:40.77,1:00:42.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive) Ok, maybe not.
Dialogue: 0,1:00:49.04,1:01:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(dramatic, haunting piano)
Dialogue: 0,1:01:14.77,1:01:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alright, Razzies, respectfully,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:17.45,1:01:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,1:01:18.35,1:01:21.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:21.04,1:01:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I never read the books and\NI didn't watch the movies until recently,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:24.37,1:01:27.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but even I know that \Nthe last movie in the Twilight series
Dialogue: 0,1:01:27.15,1:01:28.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't that bad a movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:28.48,1:01:31.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's ridiculous, sure, \Nbut out of all the movies in this series,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:31.53,1:01:35.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's the most interesting and \Nexciting entry aside from the first one.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:35.13,1:01:38.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously they gave it Worst Picture \Nas a sort of dig at the entire series,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:38.70,1:01:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,since others hadn't won \NWorst Picture before,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:40.85,1:01:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but come on.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:41.75,1:01:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:43.86,1:01:46.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's got a big fight scene \Non a frozen lake,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:46.04,1:01:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's got a girl named Renesmee,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:47.96,1:01:52.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it concludes one of the most iconic\Nand stupid blockbuster series of all time.
Dialogue: 0,1:01:52.64,1:01:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so entertaining and over the top
Dialogue: 0,1:01:54.40,1:01:56.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even if you hate Twilight\Nand everything about it,
Dialogue: 0,1:01:56.85,1:01:59.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't tell me this is worse\Nthan the Adam Sandler movie
Dialogue: 0,1:01:59.83,1:02:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where he shows a 13 year old \Nimpregnating his teacher.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:03.57,1:02:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't tell me that.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:05.48,1:02:06.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you'd be wrong.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:15.28,1:02:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me start this one off by
Dialogue: 0,1:02:16.61,1:02:19.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing you the list of people \Nwho were involved in this movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:20.78,1:02:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not even all of them.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:22.16,1:02:25.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Movie 43 is a compilation of \Nraunchy comedy sketches
Dialogue: 0,1:02:25.16,1:02:26.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,each directed by different people.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:26.87,1:02:29.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Made on an impossibly cheap budget \Nof 6 million dollars,
Dialogue: 0,1:02:29.91,1:02:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this thing took 3 whole years to film
Dialogue: 0,1:02:32.07,1:02:34.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the producers \Nworked around actors' schedules
Dialogue: 0,1:02:34.59,1:02:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to maximize how many famous people \Ncould show up in this.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:37.36,1:02:41.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sketches themselves are a relentless\Nonslaught of dirty shock humor.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:41.56,1:02:44.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's one where Hugh Jackman\Nhas balls on his face.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:44.25,1:02:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz \Nspills period blood on the wall.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:47.56,1:02:50.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's one where a horny cat \Npisses on Elizabeth Banks.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:50.27,1:02:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to\Nleave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:54.29,1:02:57.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My personal favorite was the one\Nwhere Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt
Dialogue: 0,1:02:57.70,1:02:59.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to poop on her during sex.
Dialogue: 0,1:02:59.12,1:03:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- So he takes some—\N- Poop Viagra.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:00.78,1:03:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then gets hit by car.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:01.99,1:03:03.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love you, I wanna marry you.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:05.93,1:03:07.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my god. Doug, no!
Dialogue: 0,1:03:07.58,1:03:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're feeling sadistic,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:08.92,1:03:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,throw this on at your \Nnext bad movie night with friends.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:11.60,1:03:13.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's got a little something for everyone.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:13.61,1:03:16.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know what the hell \NMovie 43 even means.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:16.01,1:03:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm in Movie 43, \Nmaybe I'm in Movie 44. I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:28.94,1:03:32.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron \Nwas a child actor in the 80s
Dialogue: 0,1:03:32.25,1:03:35.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who took a hard right turn \Ninto Evangelical Christianity
Dialogue: 0,1:03:35.05,1:03:37.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and has since appeared almost exclusively
Dialogue: 0,1:03:37.01,1:03:39.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in low-budget Christian movies\Nand radio programs.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:39.61,1:03:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, he's mostly known \Nfor his inflammatory publicity stunts
Dialogue: 0,1:03:42.95,1:03:47.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like in 2020, when he organized \Nmask-less Christmas caroling events in LA
Dialogue: 0,1:03:47.07,1:03:48.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to protest COVID restrictions,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:48.95,1:03:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which he called \N"communism disguised as public health".
Dialogue: 0,1:03:51.88,1:03:52.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know the type.
Dialogue: 0,1:03:52.85,1:03:53.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's a nutcase,
Dialogue: 0,1:03:53.81,1:03:57.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and his movie had been dunked on \Na hundred times by YouTubers already
Dialogue: 0,1:03:57.14,1:04:00.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because for a while, \Nthis was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:00.33,1:04:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:02.94,1:04:06.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which he claimed was the result\Nof atheist conspiracy on Reddit.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:06.10,1:04:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole movie takes place in one house
Dialogue: 0,1:04:08.45,1:04:11.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and almost every scene is \Nhim using weird circular reasoning
Dialogue: 0,1:04:11.65,1:04:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to explain how \Nnon-Christian Christmas traditions
Dialogue: 0,1:04:14.29,1:04:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,had actually been Christian all along.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:16.16,1:04:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like how Christmas trees were God's idea
Dialogue: 0,1:04:18.18,1:04:19.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because God created trees.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:19.98,1:04:22.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or how the holiday \Nisn't actually materialistic
Dialogue: 0,1:04:22.51,1:04:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the ability to buy gifts
Dialogue: 0,1:04:24.16,1:04:26.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is God's gift to humanity.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:26.18,1:04:27.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just boring.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:27.39,1:04:29.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a very boring movie \Nwhere nothing happens,
Dialogue: 0,1:04:29.93,1:04:31.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everyone is just sitting\Nor standing around
Dialogue: 0,1:04:31.100,1:04:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not doing anything.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:32.96,1:04:35.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only remotely entertaining part
Dialogue: 0,1:04:35.01,1:04:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is when the extras have a \Ndance party at the end.
Dialogue: 0,1:04:37.36,1:05:04.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ (Angels we have heard on high\Ndance remix) ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:05:12.06,1:05:16.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fan-four-stic is a classic case of\Ntoo many people in the same movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:16.46,1:05:18.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The writers disagreed on everything.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:18.28,1:05:20.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The director Josh Trank \Nslept with a loaded gun on him
Dialogue: 0,1:05:20.100,1:05:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he got death threats \Nfor casting Michael B. Jordan.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:23.84,1:05:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fox executives had whole scenes cut out
Dialogue: 0,1:05:26.37,1:05:28.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval
Dialogue: 0,1:05:28.91,1:05:31.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they thought \Nhis version was too dark.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:31.11,1:05:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trank also put out a tweet\Nbefore the movie came out
Dialogue: 0,1:05:33.59,1:05:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically disowning it.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:34.78,1:05:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The end result of all of this
Dialogue: 0,1:05:36.22,1:05:38.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was an ugly, boring mess of a movie
Dialogue: 0,1:05:38.33,1:05:41.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where there's no real stakes \Nor tension anywhere.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:41.13,1:05:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't become superheroes\Nuntil halfway thru the movie
Dialogue: 0,1:05:44.12,1:05:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mostly they're standing around,\Ntalking and not doing anything.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:47.13,1:05:49.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can see \Nthe remnants of a decent movie,
Dialogue: 0,1:05:49.21,1:05:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like here where Miles Teller wakes up \Non a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:53.05,1:05:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we'll never know what the movie was\Nsupposed to be because nobody cares.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:56.64,1:05:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's nobody out there saying\Nhashtag release the Trank cut.
Dialogue: 0,1:05:59.94,1:06:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want them to go see…uh…uh…\Njust a really really great movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:03.64,1:06:08.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh…something that is…uh…\Ndifferent from…uh…
Dialogue: 0,1:06:08.30,1:06:13.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dr. Doom is the…top 5\Ngreatest characters
Dialogue: 0,1:06:13.31,1:06:16.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that ever come off of a comic book
Dialogue: 0,1:06:16.25,1:06:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,…uh…you know…panel.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:17.58,1:06:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Science is really cool and…this is \Nsomething that I think, you know
Dialogue: 0,1:06:22.60,1:06:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh…hopefully…umm…
Dialogue: 0,1:06:34.46,1:06:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So 2015 was another tie
Dialogue: 0,1:06:36.01,1:06:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Fifty Shades of Grey \Nalso being awarded Worst Picture.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:39.28,1:06:41.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is another movie \Nwhere I'm like,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:41.05,1:06:44.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what can I possibly say about this \Nthat hasn't been said already?
Dialogue: 0,1:06:44.48,1:06:48.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's based on an erotic novel\Nthat started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,
Dialogue: 0,1:06:48.13,1:06:49.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stars have no chemistry
Dialogue: 0,1:06:49.89,1:06:52.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and nothing about their relationship\Nis believable.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:52.35,1:06:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The movie spawned that\NLove Me Like You Do song
Dialogue: 0,1:06:54.74,1:06:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's haunted retail workers \Nfor almost a decade now.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:57.66,1:06:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just a bad movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:06:59.24,1:07:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's boring and bad and \Nit made over 500 million dollars
Dialogue: 0,1:07:02.14,1:07:05.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so rather than repeat the same things\Na hundred other YouTubers have said
Dialogue: 0,1:07:05.61,1:07:07.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll just leave you \Nwith a little mental image.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:07.87,1:07:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, this movie came out \Non Valentine's Day 2015.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:11.36,1:07:14.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to imagine \Nall the thousands of couples
Dialogue: 0,1:07:14.33,1:07:16.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who went to see this on Valentine's Day.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:16.61,1:07:18.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg
Dialogue: 0,1:07:18.79,1:07:20.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from Sugar Land, Texas
Dialogue: 0,1:07:20.14,1:07:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who went to see this \Nat the local AMC on Valentine's Day.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:23.73,1:07:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to visualize Kayllynn \Ngiving Greg a dry handjob
Dialogue: 0,1:07:26.59,1:07:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the back of the theater, \N40 minutes into the movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:29.32,1:07:31.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Visualize them going to Applebees after
Dialogue: 0,1:07:31.50,1:07:33.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to eat a slightly burnt chicken breast
Dialogue: 0,1:07:33.41,1:07:34.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some unseasoned broccoli.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:35.39,1:07:36.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to visualize—
Dialogue: 0,1:07:45.80,1:07:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know already,
Dialogue: 0,1:07:47.16,1:07:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dinesh D'Souza \Nis a far-right political commentator
Dialogue: 0,1:07:49.80,1:07:53.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's been releasing propaganda films \Nevery year since 2012.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:53.33,1:07:56.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He also pleaded guilty to \Ncampaign finance fraud in 2014
Dialogue: 0,1:07:56.48,1:07:58.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was sentenced to 5 years probation.
Dialogue: 0,1:07:58.55,1:07:59.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,During which, he made
Dialogue: 0,1:07:59.96,1:08:03.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hillary's America: The Secret History \Nof the Democratic Party.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:03.03,1:08:05.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Released in the summer of 2016,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:05.23,1:08:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hillary's America is a movie \Nthat claims it's a documentary
Dialogue: 0,1:08:08.18,1:08:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but aside from a few news clips \Nand scripted-sounding interviews,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:11.36,1:08:13.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,much of the movie is \Neither historical reenactments
Dialogue: 0,1:08:13.86,1:08:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or D'Souza talking to terrible actors
Dialogue: 0,1:08:16.32,1:08:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and trying to pass it off \Nas documentary footage.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:18.77,1:08:21.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The movie opens with\ND'Souza being sentenced for fraud
Dialogue: 0,1:08:21.67,1:08:24.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which he claims was\Na Democratic conspiracy to shut him up
Dialogue: 0,1:08:24.57,1:08:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and from there he goes to prison
Dialogue: 0,1:08:26.14,1:08:29.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and starts interviewing other prisoners \Nabout how gangs work
Dialogue: 0,1:08:29.24,1:08:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, gangs are\Nall about stealing, man.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:31.49,1:08:32.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the biggest gang?
Dialogue: 0,1:08:33.10,1:08:34.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right in your face.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:34.52,1:08:35.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Politicians, man.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:36.91,1:08:40.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- How does a gang make money?\N- Any way they can, you know?
Dialogue: 0,1:08:40.65,1:08:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trafficking, smuggling,\Nstealing, extortion,
Dialogue: 0,1:08:43.10,1:08:44.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, but how do they pull it off?
Dialogue: 0,1:08:44.80,1:08:47.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Later on, he visits \Nthe Democratic National Headquarters
Dialogue: 0,1:08:47.65,1:08:50.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's all done up \Nto look like a high-tech museum
Dialogue: 0,1:08:50.27,1:08:52.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the glory of the Democratic Party.
Dialogue: 0,1:08:52.24,1:08:54.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he sneaks into \Nthe restricted part of the building
Dialogue: 0,1:08:54.90,1:08:57.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and breaks into the secret archives
Dialogue: 0,1:08:57.24,1:08:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to reveal the secret information
Dialogue: 0,1:08:59.72,1:09:03.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is literally in the curriculum \Nin 8th Grade US History.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:03.44,1:09:05.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, "Hey guys, did you know that
Dialogue: 0,1:09:05.48,1:09:08.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of the slave owners in the Civil War\Nwere Democrats?
Dialogue: 0,1:09:08.69,1:09:12.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, isn't that crazy? \NHow come nobody's talking about this?"
Dialogue: 0,1:09:12.90,1:09:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sad truth is this movie
Dialogue: 0,1:09:14.58,1:09:17.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets \Nwhen it came out.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:17.79,1:09:21.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which means that hundreds of thousands \Nof very gullible Americans
Dialogue: 0,1:09:21.27,1:09:22.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saw this in theaters.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:22.38,1:09:25.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And many probably dragged \Ntheir impressionable kids
Dialogue: 0,1:09:25.40,1:09:29.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when all they wanted to do was play \Nthe new Pokémon Go that just came out.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:29.54,1:09:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's depressing to think about.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:31.38,1:09:33.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,2016 was a very dark time.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:33.07,1:09:38.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I try to figure out how we get them \Nto have Pokémon Go to the polls.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:38.23,1:09:40.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(cheering)
Dialogue: 0,1:09:47.40,1:09:50.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey guys, I'm sorry, \NI can't talk about the Emoji Movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:50.19,1:09:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, on a hot summer day in 2017, \NI actually saw The Emoji Movie in theaters
Dialogue: 0,1:09:55.23,1:09:57.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a room full of screaming, \Nsugared up children.
Dialogue: 0,1:09:57.75,1:10:01.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you think this movie looks bad enough \Non its own, watch it completely sober
Dialogue: 0,1:10:01.55,1:10:04.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while a 7 year old kicks your chair\Nthe whole time.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:04.25,1:10:06.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just can't relive \Nthe trauma of that day again.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:07.54,1:10:09.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I pass this one off \Nto the trash guy.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:09.60,1:10:14.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Young Junko. \NHe was the best lawyer who ever lived.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:14.52,1:10:17.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But decidingly the hammer of justice\Nmade him his walnut.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:18.32,1:10:20.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And under the pressure, \Nhe cracked.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:20.64,1:10:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By his side, he had only left this note.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:23.57,1:10:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sad face, cry face, trash can, \Nwater gun, squirt, sad face.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:27.98,1:10:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch the Emoji Movie in theaters\Nfor more info.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:31.45,1:10:35.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Emoji Movie is the cinematic equivalent \Nof seeing an ad for Cricket Wireless
Dialogue: 0,1:10:35.76,1:10:36.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on the side of the bus.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:36.100,1:10:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the same artistic merit.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:38.40,1:10:40.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's hard to look at it without
Dialogue: 0,1:10:40.00,1:10:42.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thinking of the evolution of \N3D animation as a craft
Dialogue: 0,1:10:42.70,1:10:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the last 4 years, \Nhow the medium improved over time,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:45.70,1:10:49.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not just in fidelity, but the heartfelt \Nboundary-pushing storytelling
Dialogue: 0,1:10:49.67,1:10:52.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that made animated characters \Ncome across as more tangible.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:52.51,1:10:55.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And exploring the worlds \Nthey inhabited in a surreal way,
Dialogue: 0,1:10:55.34,1:10:59.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all that led to this, \Na movie about emojis.
Dialogue: 0,1:10:59.85,1:11:01.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On a kid's cell phone.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:01.55,1:11:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so impersonal, \Nit's not like Toy Story,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:03.66,1:11:06.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where Andy and the Toys \Nhave a clear relationship.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:06.07,1:11:10.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In Emoji Land, you get scanned whenever \Nthe kid picks you for the text message.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:10.07,1:11:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like why is this kid \Nonly texting in emojis?
Dialogue: 0,1:11:12.56,1:11:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's like a little man slut.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:14.48,1:11:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole plot being, he wants to\Ntext a girl in his class, and that's it.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:18.77,1:11:23.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has no connection to these characters,\Nthey're just a button on his phone.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:23.13,1:11:24.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so pointless.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:24.13,1:11:26.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The world's not interesting at all.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:26.41,1:11:29.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The main character, Gene, \Nis supposed to be the Meh emoji,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:29.68,1:11:32.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but he's malfunctioning, \Nso he goes on a quest with Hand Emoji
Dialogue: 0,1:11:32.91,1:11:36.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Jailbreak, an elite \Nemo hacker girl emoji with blue hair
Dialogue: 0,1:11:36.78,1:11:39.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who can access the cloud \Nand see all the Rule 34 of herself
Dialogue: 0,1:11:39.91,1:11:41.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,made over the years.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:41.18,1:11:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Oh!\N- [Hand] Suck it in!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:42.64,1:11:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, stop it!
Dialogue: 0,1:11:43.45,1:11:45.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Junko] It's a movie made specifically for
Dialogue: 0,1:11:45.47,1:11:48.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loud drunk parents circa 2017 \Nto take their iPad kids to
Dialogue: 0,1:11:48.41,1:11:52.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they run around, pick their ass while\Nthey shove ads up their eyeballs
Dialogue: 0,1:11:52.04,1:11:54.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got whole scenes \Nexplaining Candy Crush,
Dialogue: 0,1:11:54.60,1:11:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just Dance, and Spotify.
Dialogue: 0,1:11:57.66,1:12:01.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's as shameless and corporate \Nas an animated movie could possibly be.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:01.41,1:12:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm sure some belligerently wasted parent \Nin the theater
Dialogue: 0,1:12:04.15,1:12:07.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,howled with laughter when James Corden, \NHand Emoji, said "Bye Felicia."
Dialogue: 0,1:12:07.54,1:12:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Bye Felicia!
Dialogue: 0,1:12:08.56,1:12:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wouldn't know, \Nbecause the first time I saw Emoji Movie
Dialogue: 0,1:12:11.36,1:12:13.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was at 2 AM on a hacked Amazon Fire Stick
Dialogue: 0,1:12:13.39,1:12:15.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,plugged into my friend's portable CRT.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:15.29,1:12:18.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's just about the viewing experience \Nthis movie deserves.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:18.38,1:12:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But hey, for as much as\Na soulless cash grab
Dialogue: 0,1:12:21.36,1:12:22.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the Emoji Movie was,
Dialogue: 0,1:12:22.64,1:12:24.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there is one good thing about it.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:24.79,1:12:27.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's that it is\Ninadvertently responsible
Dialogue: 0,1:12:27.18,1:12:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for causing Jordan Peele to make Get Out.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:43.53,1:12:46.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Holmes & Watson was \Nthe much anticipated reunion
Dialogue: 0,1:12:46.06,1:12:47.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell
Dialogue: 0,1:12:47.99,1:12:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a duo that starred in a couple of \Nsmash hit comedies in the mid-2000s.
Dialogue: 0,1:12:51.37,1:12:54.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when this movie released\Nto atrocious reviews,
Dialogue: 0,1:12:54.07,1:12:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it left some people \Nscratching their head wondering
Dialogue: 0,1:12:56.78,1:12:59.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how two guys who\Nworked so well together before,
Dialogue: 0,1:12:59.20,1:13:00.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could fuck up a movie this bad.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:00.100,1:13:03.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And trust me, \Nno matter what your sense of humor is,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:03.51,1:13:05.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this movie is bad.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:05.08,1:13:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not funny, at all,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:06.35,1:13:07.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not even a little bit.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:07.85,1:13:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just boring and hard to watch.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:09.92,1:13:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, I know. He's an onanist.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:12.23,1:13:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Yes.\N- What's an onanist?
Dialogue: 0,1:13:13.79,1:13:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He, let's see.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:15.99,1:13:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He pours his own tea.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:19.04,1:13:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He likes to create his own sauce.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:22.63,1:13:25.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is a saucier.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:25.37,1:13:28.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the name of his restaurant\Nis Crotch Kitchen.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:29.12,1:13:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On a daily basis, \Nhe creams his own eclair.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:31.96,1:13:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Evasive) \NThe plot is impossible to follow,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:34.12,1:13:35.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the jokes fall flat on their face,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:35.81,1:13:38.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some were already dated\Nby the time the movie came out.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:38.66,1:13:40.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Compared to Talladega Nights \Nand Stepbrothers,
Dialogue: 0,1:13:40.89,1:13:43.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their delivery here just feels off.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:43.10,1:13:46.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the blame probably rests with\Nwriter-director Etan Cohen.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:46.04,1:13:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not to be confused with Ethan Coen. No.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:48.21,1:13:51.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Etan Cohen is a writer \Nwho built a pretty decent resumé
Dialogue: 0,1:13:51.71,1:13:52.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the 90s and the 2000s
Dialogue: 0,1:13:52.87,1:13:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and decided to branch out into directing\Nwith Get Hard in 2015.
Dialogue: 0,1:13:56.69,1:13:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Holmes & Watson was \Nhis second attempt at directing
Dialogue: 0,1:13:59.14,1:14:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and possibly his last
Dialogue: 0,1:14:00.19,1:14:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the movie just \Nbarely didn't break even.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:02.67,1:14:06.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And since its release, Cohen seems\Nto turn exclusively to writing.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:06.09,1:14:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My theory is, the man didn't know how\Nto direct Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:10.14,1:14:14.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just got them together and assumed \Ntheir chemistry would carry the movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:14.22,1:14:18.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole thing feels like he put them\Nin Victorian Era clothes and said
Dialogue: 0,1:14:18.30,1:14:20.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Just do whatever you want.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:20.46,1:14:22.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll edit it down to \Njust the funny parts."
Dialogue: 0,1:14:22.62,1:14:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then surprise.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:23.78,1:14:24.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,None of it was funny.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:24.100,1:14:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Holmes) I find, \Nto take the most attractive photographs,
Dialogue: 0,1:14:27.88,1:14:31.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you need to purse your lips together \Nlike a duck-billed platypus.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:31.82,1:14:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Watson) Platypus face!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:33.18,1:14:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Chins up!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:35.83,1:14:36.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:36.60,1:14:38.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey! Hey, girl!
Dialogue: 0,1:14:49.91,1:14:51.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cats is a hilarious movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:51.59,1:14:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is so funny for all the wrong reasons.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:54.88,1:14:56.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw this in theaters
Dialogue: 0,1:14:56.44,1:14:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after eating a couple of \Nvery powerful weed gummies.
Dialogue: 0,1:14:59.02,1:15:01.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is an experience I will remember\Nfor the rest of my life.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:01.91,1:15:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's unlike any other movie ever made.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:04.28,1:15:05.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It really is.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:05.45,1:15:06.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:15:06.74,1:15:08.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's dinner and a show.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:08.72,1:15:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:15:11.43,1:15:13.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ A-dooba-dooba-doo ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:15:13.97,1:15:17.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Tak-pity-pak-pity-pak ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:15:17.02,1:15:19.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Released at the tail end of 2019,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:19.27,1:15:22.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cats was an act of pure hubris \Nfrom director Tom Hooper,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:22.42,1:15:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was well known in Hollywood \Nfor directing
Dialogue: 0,1:15:24.85,1:15:27.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the King's Speech, Les Misérables, \Nand The Danish Girl.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:27.75,1:15:30.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well I guess Tommy Boy \Ngot pretty full of himself
Dialogue: 0,1:15:30.13,1:15:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after those award-winners.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:31.42,1:15:34.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For his next project, he proceeded \Nto blow a hundred million dollars
Dialogue: 0,1:15:34.66,1:15:36.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a film adaptation of Cats: The Musical.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:36.77,1:15:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Behind the scenes, \NHooper rushed the movie out the door
Dialogue: 0,1:15:39.39,1:15:40.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to release on Christmas.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:40.85,1:15:43.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the process, \Ntreated the animators like complete shit.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:43.72,1:15:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anonymous sources reported that \NHooper knew nothing about animation,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:47.04,1:15:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,made them work 90-hour weeks for months,
Dialogue: 0,1:15:49.46,1:15:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was horrible, disrespectful, \Ndemeaning, and condescending
Dialogue: 0,1:15:53.26,1:15:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toward everyone.
Dialogue: 0,1:15:54.27,1:15:57.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A source said that Hooper talked \Nto the animators like they were garbage
Dialogue: 0,1:15:57.76,1:16:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even compared \Ntheir time working on Cats to slavery.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:00.74,1:16:02.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's been a few years now \Nsince Cats released,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:02.99,1:16:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Tom Hooper \Nhasn't been heard from since.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:05.74,1:16:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I think it's safe to assume\Nthose allegations were true
Dialogue: 0,1:16:08.70,1:16:11.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he won't be making a comeback \Nany time soon.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:11.21,1:16:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like to play you a song from the movie
Dialogue: 0,1:16:13.73,1:16:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but YouTube would probably \Ndemonetize me if I did that.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:16.53,1:16:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead I'm gonna play \Na public service announcement from the 80s.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:22.06,1:16:23.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An accident? An accident?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:24.04,1:16:25.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Accident.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:25.11,1:16:27.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The humans have an accident.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:27.01,1:16:28.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a child in the car.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:28.84,1:16:29.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A child?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:29.98,1:16:31.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A child?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:31.21,1:16:32.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A child?
Dialogue: 0,1:16:32.36,1:16:35.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cats have 9 lives, children only one,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:35.26,1:16:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,help them live their life, \Nbuckle them into a car seat,
Dialogue: 0,1:16:38.14,1:16:41.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no one wants a child to become a memory.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:41.29,1:16:46.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Memory, all alone in the moonlight. ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:16:55.20,1:16:58.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So Absolute Proof is not a movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:16:58.61,1:17:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the first time in Razzie history,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:00.57,1:17:02.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Razzies gave Worst Picture
Dialogue: 0,1:17:02.19,1:17:04.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to something that was not a movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:04.59,1:17:06.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a 2-hour long special
Dialogue: 0,1:17:06.39,1:17:09.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that aired on \NOne America News in February 2021
Dialogue: 0,1:17:09.66,1:17:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:11.92,1:17:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bought airtime to prove that \Nthe 2020 election was hacked by China,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:15.94,1:17:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,using statistics \Nthat were proven to be fake,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:18.51,1:17:21.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,interviewing experts \Nthat don't have real credentials.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:21.21,1:17:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This special was also uploaded on YouTube,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:23.28,1:17:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but was quickly taken down\Nfor spreading false information.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:26.10,1:17:28.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was hoping it would be \Nat least unintentionally funny,
Dialogue: 0,1:17:28.90,1:17:30.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's just really boring to watch.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:30.80,1:17:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's mostly the MyPillow guy saying\N- Woah.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:33.39,1:17:36.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking about voting data \Nthat was given to him by a fraudster.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:36.44,1:17:39.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At one point, he brings out a guy \Nwho claims he invented e-mail.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:39.69,1:17:42.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, from creating e-mail \Nand all these systems.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:42.29,1:17:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know the power of machines.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:43.66,1:17:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, he created e-mails. \NThe creator of e-mails.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:47.92,1:17:50.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have anything \Nto say about this one.
Dialogue: 0,1:17:50.13,1:17:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not a movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:01.98,1:18:04.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this is also not a movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:04.42,1:18:06.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Diana The Musical is a Broadway show
Dialogue: 0,1:18:06.53,1:18:09.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was planned to open \Non March 31st, 2020.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:09.03,1:18:11.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, that didn't pan out, \Nbut in summer of 2020
Dialogue: 0,1:18:11.81,1:18:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they got the cast together \Nto make a recording of the show.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:14.70,1:18:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With heavy COVID restrictions \Nand no audience, of course.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:17.48,1:18:19.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, for some bizarre reason,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:19.75,1:18:23.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they decided to release that recording \Non Netflix on October 2021
Dialogue: 0,1:18:23.35,1:18:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a whole month \Nbefore the show reopened on Broadway.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:26.50,1:18:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, this was the dumbest thing\Nthey could've done
Dialogue: 0,1:18:29.20,1:18:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because why would anyone \Nwho isn't a hardcore House Windsor stan
Dialogue: 0,1:18:32.27,1:18:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pay over 100 dollars \Nfor a Broadway ticket to this cringefest
Dialogue: 0,1:18:35.36,1:18:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they could just watch the cringefest\Nfor free at home.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:38.14,1:18:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This show was a complete flop,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:39.86,1:18:42.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,performing to a half-full theater \Nevery night for a month,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:42.78,1:18:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until they put it out of its misery
Dialogue: 0,1:18:44.84,1:18:46.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cancelled it on December 19.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:46.40,1:18:49.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if it wasn't dumped on Netflix\Nbefore it opened,
Dialogue: 0,1:18:49.07,1:18:50.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it still would've flopped
Dialogue: 0,1:18:50.45,1:18:52.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's as tone deaf \Nas the title suggests.
Dialogue: 0,1:18:52.95,1:18:57.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lyrics sound like a 14 year old girl \Nsaw Hamilton and Newsies a few times
Dialogue: 0,1:18:57.34,1:18:59.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was like, \N"Oh my gosh, I can do that too!"
Dialogue: 0,1:18:59.92,1:19:02.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except it wasn't written \Nby a 14 year old girl,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:02.28,1:19:05.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was written by a Tony Award-winning \Nplaywright in his 50s.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:05.19,1:19:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here is a sample of some lyrics\Nthis show throws at you.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:07.98,1:19:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Alright, I'm no intellect. ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:11.17,1:19:13.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ But maybe there's a discotheque ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:13.69,1:19:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ where the prince \Ncould hear some Prince ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:16.16,1:19:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ and we'd all get funkadelic ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:18.58,1:19:21.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ You thought I was a ninny\Nyou could mold me as you like ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:21.75,1:19:25.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ Well the skinny on that ninny\Nis she's really rather bright. ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:25.17,1:19:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ I just got a ticket to the main event ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:28.15,1:19:32.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♫ It's the Thrilla in Manila \Nbut with Diana and Camilla ♫
Dialogue: 0,1:19:39.16,1:19:41.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Directed by eccentric auteur \NAndrew Dominik,
Dialogue: 0,1:19:41.71,1:19:45.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Blonde is the most recent \NWorst Picture winner as of this video.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:45.15,1:19:47.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe the most \Ncontroversial winner since Showgirls.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:47.64,1:19:50.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a nearly 3 hour long, \NNC-17 rated movie
Dialogue: 0,1:19:50.81,1:19:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the life of Marilyn Monroe that \Ntakes extreme liberties with her life
Dialogue: 0,1:19:54.42,1:19:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it's based \Non a historical fiction novel
Dialogue: 0,1:19:56.75,1:19:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by Joyce Carol Oates.
Dialogue: 0,1:19:57.96,1:20:00.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reviews of this thing\Nwere all over the place.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:00.34,1:20:02.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it premiered \Nat the Venice Film Festival,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:02.63,1:20:04.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it received a 14-minute long\Nstanding ovation
Dialogue: 0,1:20:04.81,1:20:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Early critic reviews \Nwere extremely positive.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:07.02,1:20:09.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then it released on Netflix \Na few weeks later
Dialogue: 0,1:20:09.24,1:20:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the drama started.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:10.40,1:20:13.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the positive end, it got praised\Nfor its stunning cinematography
Dialogue: 0,1:20:13.82,1:20:16.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for Anna De Armas' \Nperformance as Monroe.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:16.09,1:20:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On the negative end, it was \Ncriticized for being
Dialogue: 0,1:20:18.52,1:20:20.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,exploitative, sexist, and dehumanizing,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:20.59,1:20:22.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe
Dialogue: 0,1:20:22.46,1:20:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a helpless girl relentlessly abused \Nby the Hollywood system
Dialogue: 0,1:20:25.49,1:20:28.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when her real life was\Nmuch more complicated than that.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:28.12,1:20:31.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It certainly doesn't help that \NAndrew Dominik doubled down,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:31.17,1:20:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after the film's release,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:32.37,1:20:35.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying, "Criticism only hurts\Nif you agree with it,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:35.24,1:20:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I didn't agree with any of it.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:36.92,1:20:40.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's dead, the movie doesn't make any difference to her one way or another.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:40.49,1:20:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What they mean is that the film exploited their memory of her, the image of her,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:44.56,1:20:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is fair enough. It does. That's the whole point of the movie.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:47.49,1:20:49.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the whole problem with Marilyn Monroe.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:49.44,1:20:51.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody feels like they know her and what's best for her."
Dialogue: 0,1:20:53.02,1:20:53.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know about you guys,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:54.36,1:20:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could speak on this movie more,
Dialogue: 0,1:20:55.78,1:20:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I don't want to.
Dialogue: 0,1:20:58.42,1:20:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the last movie on this list
Dialogue: 0,1:20:59.77,1:21:01.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm tapping out.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:01.45,1:21:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't wanna see any of you in the comments saying,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:03.41,1:21:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, Eva tapping out.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:05.80,1:21:07.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eva not giving her real opinion.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:07.41,1:21:09.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're being evasive.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:09.45,1:21:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't do that."
Dialogue: 0,1:21:20.33,1:21:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank god this is over.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:22.40,1:21:25.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:25.66,1:21:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't have a single thought left in my head.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:27.96,1:21:29.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts
Dialogue: 0,1:21:29.85,1:21:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by sorting all these movies into 4 categories.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:32.16,1:21:33.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These categories are
Dialogue: 0,1:21:33.31,1:21:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Boring Bad, Funny Bad, Not That Bad,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:36.24,1:21:37.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Crimes against Humanity.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:38.50,1:21:40.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there we go.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:45.81,1:21:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am Evasive,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:46.95,1:21:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thank you to my Patreon supporters,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:48.54,1:21:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thank you to all of you for watching,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:50.71,1:21:52.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thank you so much to my guests
Dialogue: 0,1:21:52.35,1:21:53.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for contributing to this video.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:53.85,1:21:56.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And hey, Razzie people, if you're watching,
Dialogue: 0,1:21:56.92,1:21:57.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:57.91,1:21:59.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Invite me to the show sometime, maybe.
Dialogue: 0,1:21:59.72,1:22:01.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly I think you guys are a little cringey
Dialogue: 0,1:22:01.67,1:22:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you've made some very questionable decisions in the past
Dialogue: 0,1:22:03.87,1:22:07.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but like…I don't care.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:07.35,1:22:08.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the meantime, we're going to do
Dialogue: 0,1:22:09.64,1:22:11.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,literally anything else besides watching movies.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:12.29,1:22:13.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what I'm gonna do.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:13.68,1:22:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna look at some clouds.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:15.62,1:22:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, and touch grass.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:16.94,1:22:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh I can't remember the last time I touched grass.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:18.77,1:22:21.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna go outside, look at some clouds,
Dialogue: 0,1:22:21.15,1:22:21.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and touch grass.
Dialogue: 0,1:22:21.94,1:22:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ok, bye guys.