WEBVTT

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What's up cinephiles,
I'm Evasive,

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and this piece of paper right here
means two things:

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Number one, I am tens of
thousands of

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dollars in debt,

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and number two, I know a lot
about movies.

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Since the U.S government
isn't giving me any debt relief this year,

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I have no choice now but to
torture myself on the Internet

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for money to pay off the loans

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I took out to go to film school.

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So for this video, I watched every
movie that's ever won

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a Razzie Award for Worst Picture
of the Year.

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This was an extremely painful
experience

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and I regretted my decision
immediately,

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but for the sake of 
my adoring fans

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and my bank account,

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I went ahead and watched 
all 46 of these

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movies so I could 
explain them to you.

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But after the grueling experience
of watching all these,

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I'm not about to tackle this
breakdown alone.

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So I went ahead and roped in
another video essay girly

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and a talking trash can

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to help explain some of these
movies for me.

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But before I get to the movies,

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let me explain what the Razzies are.

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The Golden Raspberry Awards are
an annual event,

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usually held the night before the Oscars,

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to award the worst
movies of the year.

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It was founded by Hollywood
copywriter

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John Wilson and editor Maureen
Murphy.

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The idea for the Razzies came
about in 1980

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when Wilson saw Can't Stop 
the Music and Xanadu, back to back

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and hated them so much, that
there ought to be an award show

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for this type of thing.

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Months later, Wilson hosted an

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Oscars watch party at his house,

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and after the Oscars had finished,

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he and Murphy passed out ballots
to everyone

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for the worst movies of the year,

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and then he announced the
winners in his living room.

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Over time, the ceremony 
grew and grew,

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and today they're considered a staple 
of the Hollywood award season

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as a low-budget Bizarro World
Oscars

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that distributes awards in
categories

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such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,

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and Worst Screenplay.

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Unlike the qualifications for voting
at the Oscars,

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becoming a Razzie voter 
is very easy:

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either be friends with 
one of the producers

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or just pay a $40 membership fee.

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That's all it takes.

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So that's the story of the Razzies.

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Now are you ready to learn about
every single movie

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that won Worst Picture?

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Because I wasn't.

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There's 46 of these things, so I'm
going to talk about each one

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for just a minute or two

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and hand off a few to my guests

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so I don't completely lose my mind here.

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Also, I put a content warning on a
bunch of these movies

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because of the sensitive subject
matter I discuss.

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Not trying to traumatize anybody
but myself in this video.

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Well, me and my guests.

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But I commissioned them for this,
so it-it's fine.

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Anybody who swallows two snowballs 
and a ding-dong shouldn't

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have trouble with pride.

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The first movie to win Worst Picture was 
Can't Stop The Music,

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A movie about the "origins"
of the disco group Village People.

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I say origins in air-quotes because
the Village People play themselves

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and the plot is completely made-up

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and not at all how the Village People
actually formed

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The movie itself is super campy
and full of these crazy musical numbers

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that are unironically kinda great.

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It's just too bad that in between
those musical numbers are these scenes

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with really terrible acting 
that go on for way too long.

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Wait a minute! I am not taking one
more step 'til I know where I'm going.

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Yeah, quit my job, and you
got me walking the beat again!

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- I'm not even getting paid for it!
- Hold your horses.

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I told you I had a surprise for you.

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I hope so. I turned in my
coin change with the toll booth.

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It wasn't that awful, but by 1980 
the disco fad was pretty much over and

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people loved to hate on
disco music at the time

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so you can see why this
ended up being such a huge bomb.

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Also, shockingly, this movie marks the
first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner

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and apparently the experience was so bad

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she didn't appear in a movie again until
Jack & Jill in 2011.

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And, uh, well.

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Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"

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about the life of actress Joan Crawford's
adopted daughter Christina.

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Again, I say biopic in air-quotes
because the movie was based on

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Christina Crawford's controversial memoir

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that other members of Joan Crawford's
family disavowed when it came out.

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I haven't done much research on the topic

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so I'm in no position
to question this story.

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But I will say that after
the movie was made

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Christina said the film was grotesque
and not true to her memoir.

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Released just 4 years after
Joan Crawford passed away,

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this movie basically spits all over
her fresh grave

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and portrays her as a horrible mother

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who frequently, physically and emotionally
abused her daughter.

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Whether or not this is actually true
is still a matter for debate.

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Regardless of the real-life circumstances
behind the movie,

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Faye Dunway's performance
of Joan Crawford is iconic now.

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People who have experienced 
emotional abuse from a parent

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found her performance
scarily true to their own life experiences

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but general audiences thought
she was just being

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outrageously campy and 
over the top the whole movie.

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Because of its reputation

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the film accidentally
became a queer cult classic over the years

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especially in the drag community.

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It was even featured in the most
recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

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"No wire hangers!"

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♫ No more wire hangers ♫
♫ Ah, ah! ♫

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♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫
♫ No, no, no, no ♫

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[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about
the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.

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It was financed and produced
by the Unification Church,

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a movement that was and still is
considered a dangerous cult

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with a leader who called himself
the second coming of Jesus Christ.

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The film's producer was
a very wealthy member of the church.

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He said he was instructed by God
to make the film.

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So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted
any part of this.

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All 46 million dollars of the budget was
provided by the church and its followers.

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The film itself doesn't have much
to do with the Unification Church.

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It's a straightforward war movie that's
just boring and unremarkable.

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It had some star power but only because
the actors in it were paid a lot of money.

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Laurence Olivier admitted even
before the movie was released

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that he was only in it for the money.

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It was such a flop that nobody
bothered to release it on home media.

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The only available version
of the movie today

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is from an old VHS rip from when it
played on Unification Church TV channel.

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The only thing worth seeing in this movie
is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.

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I mean he looks like the Joker.

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This movie is just tasteless.

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it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins

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who was paid 600 000 dollars
for the film rights,

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apparently fell asleep
in the screening room,

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and never actually watched the movie.

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First of all, in the first 15 minutes,

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young Ray Liotta,
in his first ever movie role,

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sexually assaults the main character
with a garden hose.

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After that the rest of the movie
is just her being forced to have sex

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with gross older men
in order to get ahead in Hollywood.

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And you see all of it.

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It seems like it was trying to criticize
sexism in Hollywood

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but instead of handling it
with nuance or respect

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the movie fully shows the sex scenes

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and does the very thing
it's trying to critique.

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The final scene of the movie shows
her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay

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and calling out the men
who took advantage of her

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in her acceptance speech.

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Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,
and the movie just ends there.

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It's really uncomfortable to watch.

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But somehow the next movie is even worse.

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Ugh, god, ok.

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Bolero is a movie by John Derek.

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John Derek is—
(groan)

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John Derek was an old Hollywood actor

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who appeared in supporting roles in
several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.

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In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,

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he traveled to Europe to direct
a low-budget movie called

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"Once upon a Love" starring
a 16 year old girl named

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"Mary Cathleen Collins".

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During the production—
(retching)

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I'm sorry.

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During the production, 
John Derek left his wife

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and groomed Mary Collins
into a sexual relationship,

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With the two staying in Europe
until she turned 18

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so he could avoid 
statutory rape charges.

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When they got married a few years later,
she changed her name to Bo Derek

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and proceeded to star in all of his movies
until he died in 1998.

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(retching)
(vomit squelching)

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I'm sorry.

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So anyway, Bolero was a movie
about a young woman fresh from college

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who travels to Morocco in Spain
to lose her virginity.

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If that wasn't bad enough,

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this movie features a full-frontal
nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.

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Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.

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An actual 14 year old girl.

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(retching, vomit squelching)
(coughing)

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If you've never seen any
Rambo movies before

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the image you probably associate
with the word "Rambo"

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is the one where
hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone

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is firing a machine gun
without a shirt on.

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But see, that's actually from this movie,
"Rambo First Blood: Part II",

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which has very little to do
with Part 1 at all.

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The whole point of
the first Rambo movie is that

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Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran
with severe PTSD

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who snaps and kills a bunch of
small-time cops who treat him like shit.

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This sequel, on the other hand

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throws that tragic anti-war character
out the window

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as the US government sends him
back to Vietnam

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to locate prisoners of war

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and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.

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It's like he immediately got over his PTSD

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and just got straight to blowing stuff up,
no problem.

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This movie was
a massive box office success

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and made double of what
the first movie made,

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so naturally, Rambo III also ditched
the anti-war angle

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and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.

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I dunno if someone thought
the first movie was amazing,

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it really sucks to see how quickly
they ruined this character.

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But, like, I get it.

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The people who went to see
these sequels in theaters

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didn't watch it for the plot.

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They watched to see 
Sylvester Stallone do this.

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(bow twang)
(explosion)

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In the early 80s, 
Prince was a rising star.

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And his stardom was cemented in 1984

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with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.

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After the success of Purple Rain,

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Warner Bros. told Prince he was allowed to
do whatever he wanted for his next project

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greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon
without even reading the script

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the story is, Prince plays a guy in 
the French Rivier named Christopher

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He and his friend try to 
scam a girl out of her inheritance

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but they both end up 
falling in love with her.

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A problem became apparent early on

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when Prince hired someone with 
no experience to write the script.

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Then 16 days into filming, 
the director quit.

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And Prince took over even though he had
no experience directing a movie before.

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The end result was a movie that features
what I can only describe as

00:10:55.106 --> 00:10:55.982
Acting.

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Don't try anything funny.
Not this time, Christopher.

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I want the money or I throw
you both out onto the street.

00:11:06.296 --> 00:11:07.256
(gasp)

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That's right, [inaudible]

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Throw me onto the street?

00:11:14.638 --> 00:11:17.155
It's bizarre, it's one of 
those movies where

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the acting is so bad 
it loops around to being funny

00:11:19.685 --> 00:11:22.583
which has given it
a bit of a cult following over the years

00:11:22.583 --> 00:11:24.313
that and the soundtrack is amazing

00:11:24.313 --> 00:11:25.487
like with Purple Rain

00:11:25.487 --> 00:11:28.210
Prince released an album with the movie
that went Platinum

00:11:28.210 --> 00:11:31.435
and is today remembered as 
one of his most iconic albums

00:11:31.435 --> 00:11:34.395
After Under the Cherry Moon failed, 
Prince tried one more time

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to direct a feature-length movie

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but that one got nominated 
for a bunch of Razzies too

00:11:38.601 --> 00:11:41.557
After that he gave up and 
never tried to direct a movie again.

00:11:41.557 --> 00:11:44.668
Also this here marks 
the first ever tie in Razzies history

00:11:44.668 --> 00:11:46.976
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with

00:11:46.976 --> 00:11:49.155
(laughing)

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Howard the Duck.

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(Evasive laughing)

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Greetings, Evasive viewers, 
it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law

00:12:16.317 --> 00:12:19.405
and I'm here to defend 
my client Howard T. Duck,

00:12:19.405 --> 00:12:23.419
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, 
Howard The Duck

00:12:23.419 --> 00:12:26.716
For nearly the last 40 years 
my client's reputation has been

00:12:26.716 --> 00:12:28.476
tarnished and slandered against

00:12:28.476 --> 00:12:32.490
by quack punch, chicken shit critics 
for this tragic box office bomb.

00:12:32.173 --> 00:12:36.790
Central character, the Duck, the one 
that we're gonna be rooting for,

00:12:36.457 --> 00:12:39.486
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."

00:12:39.486 --> 00:12:41.142
But I'm here to clear the air.

00:12:41.142 --> 00:12:44.982
Howard the Duck is not a movie, 
no, it's a duckumentary.

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I know this because I was there.

00:12:47.182 --> 00:12:48.196
We all were.

00:12:49.323 --> 00:12:52.988
My entire clan witnessed 
my client crash land on Earth

00:12:52.988 --> 00:12:55.823
to star in a motion picture 
that of which has been

00:12:55.823 --> 00:12:59.303
Um.

00:12:59.303 --> 00:13:02.803
it's still awful. It's bad. 
We're not winning this case, buddy.

00:13:02.803 --> 00:13:04.739
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!

00:13:04.739 --> 00:13:06.818
This is a strange movie to say the least.

00:13:06.818 --> 00:13:09.655
Howard the Duck notoriously opens
with 2 instances of

00:13:09.655 --> 00:13:12.257
full frontal duck booba
in the span of 30 seconds.

00:13:14.400 --> 00:13:16.413
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash

00:13:16.413 --> 00:13:19.418
between what's a squeaky clean
full house type family movie

00:13:19.418 --> 00:13:22.180
that no one older than 3 years old
would find funny

00:13:22.181 --> 00:13:25.330
followed by things like 
Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and

00:13:25.330 --> 00:13:27.525
pulling out a condom for Howard's corkscrew.

00:13:28.277 --> 00:13:29.351
Howard…

00:13:29.351 --> 00:13:31.750
It's like anti-matter Shrek where 
they didn't know

00:13:31.750 --> 00:13:34.399
how to mix adult humor 
and a kids' flick properly yet

00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:37.214
so it becomes this overly long 
bland comedy

00:13:37.214 --> 00:13:38.851
with hardly any intentional laughs

00:13:38.851 --> 00:13:42.409
that just happens to throw in something 
totally obscene every now and then

00:13:42.549 --> 00:13:44.820
- [Howard] Oh!
- I just can't resist your

00:13:44.820 --> 00:13:46.870
intense animal magnetism.

00:13:48.214 --> 00:13:50.877
There's a lot of attempts at duck puns,

00:13:50.877 --> 00:13:54.426
most are just replacing 
a random phrase in a word with "duck"

00:13:54.426 --> 00:13:57.744
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."

00:13:57.864 --> 00:14:00.883
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.

00:14:01.516 --> 00:14:02.793
That's a duck name.

00:14:03.783 --> 00:14:05.311
That's a name you give a duck.

00:14:05.622 --> 00:14:08.607
The first half of the movie has Howard
pointlessly meandering

00:14:08.678 --> 00:14:12.158
there's no funny interactions or 
observations or memorable bits

00:14:12.158 --> 00:14:15.105
it's just an aimless movie 
with the guy in the duck suit.

00:14:15.184 --> 00:14:17.282
You have an entire portion of the movie

NOTE Paragraph

00:14:17.282 --> 00:14:19.782
where Howard has a job 
as a towel boy in a sex club

00:14:19.782 --> 00:14:21.742
it's fun for the whole family!

00:14:22.323 --> 00:14:24.737
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.

00:14:25.310 --> 00:14:27.945
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.

00:14:28.154 --> 00:14:32.180
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [?] 
as a result of a [?] incident.

00:14:32.258 --> 00:14:35.119
Leading to Palpatine 
somehow returning from the dead

00:14:35.119 --> 00:14:38.303
and possessing the body of that one actor
that's in every 80s movie

00:14:38.303 --> 00:14:40.634
who'd later be arrested
for being a sex pervert.

00:14:41.199 --> 00:14:42.859
What would you like to eat?

00:14:42.915 --> 00:14:45.815
I no longer need human food.

00:14:45.815 --> 00:14:47.964
[Junko] I need little boy butts.

00:14:47.964 --> 00:14:50.702
You have a movie where
a talking duck fires a giant laser

00:14:50.702 --> 00:14:53.142
at a hell portal to stop 
a horde of alien warlords

00:14:53.142 --> 00:14:54.388
from taking over the Earth

00:14:54.388 --> 00:14:56.914
and they still manage 
to make it a total snooze fest

00:14:56.914 --> 00:14:58.821
They try to give Howard a bit of edge

00:14:58.821 --> 00:15:01.721
but he still feels 
too kiddy and sanitized

00:15:01.721 --> 00:15:03.494
And part of that is his design.

00:15:03.494 --> 00:15:05.882
He looks like a cross 
of a Furby and MacCulkin.

00:15:05.882 --> 00:15:07.582
There are some things I did like,

00:15:07.582 --> 00:15:09.202
these alien overlords are cool

00:15:09.202 --> 00:15:11.630
their design and stop motion 
is really well done.

00:15:11.630 --> 00:15:14.000
The sequence where
Howard gets shot into space

00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:16.210
is pretty neat, pretty 
impressive to look at.

00:15:16.210 --> 00:15:19.820
I like this sequence where 
Howard and [?] get a [?]

00:15:19.820 --> 00:15:21.540
and start flying away from the cops

00:15:21.540 --> 00:15:22.300
that was good.

00:15:22.300 --> 00:15:23.730
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this

00:15:23.730 --> 00:15:26.931
Imagine having what's considered 
one of the best movies of all time

00:15:26.931 --> 00:15:28.165
as part of your portfolio

00:15:28.165 --> 00:15:30.783
and on the other end of the 
spectrum, Howard the Duck,

00:15:30.783 --> 00:15:31.773
now that's range

00:15:31.773 --> 00:15:35.150
Genuinely I was taken aback 
because some of the shots in this movie

00:15:35.150 --> 00:15:36.805
undeniably go hard.

00:15:36.805 --> 00:15:40.585
There's a version of this movie that 
could've actually been good with less work

00:15:40.585 --> 00:15:44.397
If they leaned into Howard being this
cynical, perverted wise-cracking duck

00:15:44.397 --> 00:15:46.817
that's down on his luck,
who gets thrust into Earth

00:15:46.817 --> 00:15:48.482
and finds this strange new realm

00:15:48.482 --> 00:15:50.277
isn't so much different from his own.

00:15:50.277 --> 00:15:52.917
Then it's all about the bills, 
baby, put it on my belt

00:15:52.917 --> 00:15:55.677
He could take it as an 
opportunity for a fresh start,

00:15:55.677 --> 00:15:57.442
slowly climbing the corporate ladder

00:15:57.442 --> 00:15:59.135
until becoming a national celebrity

00:15:59.135 --> 00:16:01.443
that gets caught up in 80s 
consumerism and greed

00:16:01.443 --> 00:16:04.709
then have him begrudgingly involved 
in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff

00:16:04.709 --> 00:16:05.913
like the comics, I dunno.

00:16:05.913 --> 00:16:08.002
I'm not sure how to defend my client.

00:16:08.002 --> 00:16:08.923
Give him the chair.

00:16:09.582 --> 00:16:10.902
(Howard screams)

00:16:19.038 --> 00:16:28.708
(Evasive laughing)

00:16:29.239 --> 00:16:32.441
Alright, I may not have been 
able to defend Howard,

00:16:32.441 --> 00:16:36.502
but know this: from this day forth, 
I will ensure every client of mine

00:16:36.502 --> 00:16:37.919
is proven innocent.

00:16:38.328 --> 00:16:41.978
Now for my next client, 
I will be defending one Bill Cos-.

00:16:41.978 --> 00:16:42.968
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

00:16:46.402 --> 00:16:47.612
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

00:16:47.875 --> 00:16:50.785
I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw.

00:16:50.975 --> 00:16:53.915
We're done here. We're done.

00:16:53.915 --> 00:16:57.316
It's Leonard, part 6.

00:16:57.316 --> 00:16:59.652
Ask anyone who's seen
this movie, they'll tell you

00:16:59.652 --> 00:17:02.708
that's when they first knew 
lil' Bill was a real piece of shit

00:17:02.708 --> 00:17:06.353
When I heard there was a comedy movie
that just started on part 6

00:17:06.353 --> 00:17:10.813
That's funny, maybe this movie could be 
bad in a good way, at the very least

00:17:10.813 --> 00:17:14.813
Nope, it's just bad, 
it's boring, it's so boring.

00:17:14.853 --> 00:17:17.223
If there's one thing Cosby 
was always a master at

00:17:17.223 --> 00:17:18.837
it's making people very sleepy.

00:17:19.087 --> 00:17:22.151
The whole thing is supposed to be 
a spoof on the spy genre,

00:17:22.151 --> 00:17:25.356
like Naked Gun, except it actually
came out a year before that movie

00:17:25.531 --> 00:17:29.284
They just had the cameras rolling 
and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted

00:17:29.284 --> 00:17:31.514
There's a bunch of weird sex shit

00:17:31.514 --> 00:17:33.018
I mean the clues are all there,

00:17:33.018 --> 00:17:36.309
in the movie his wife divorced him
because he slept with a 19 year old

00:17:36.309 --> 00:17:40.309
and his daughter is dating an older man
to further her career as an actress

00:17:40.309 --> 00:17:42.836
Leonard has to see her 
flash her tits on stage

00:17:42.836 --> 00:17:46.127
for no reason, none of these scenes 
add anything to the movie

00:17:46.127 --> 00:17:48.539
Cosby just wanted to look 
at some young girl tits

00:17:48.539 --> 00:17:51.883
The whole film has this weird
lethargic and slow energy to it

00:17:51.883 --> 00:17:54.124
Everything from the dialogue
to the editing,

00:17:54.124 --> 00:17:56.541
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.

00:17:56.541 --> 00:17:58.635
The movie opens with 
Leonard and an assassin

00:17:58.635 --> 00:18:00.309
having a shootout in a kitchen

00:18:00.309 --> 00:18:03.604
The joke is that what they're doing 
is actually helping the food prep

00:18:03.604 --> 00:18:07.882
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all
is so bizarrely off by a step

00:18:07.882 --> 00:18:11.275
Every gag and bit is like this, 
like they took something that was

00:18:11.275 --> 00:18:14.552
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best
and spread it so thin that

00:18:14.908 --> 00:18:15.975
you ask yourself,

00:18:15.975 --> 00:18:18.036
Was there even 
a joke at all to begin with?

00:18:18.197 --> 00:18:20.633
The plot follows Leonard 
being the best agent

00:18:20.633 --> 00:18:23.567
who's long retired, then
pulled back for one last mission

00:18:23.567 --> 00:18:26.417
after a buncha animals 
under mind control kill people

00:18:26.417 --> 00:18:28.417
Again a god-awful 80s comedy starts

00:18:28.417 --> 00:18:30.417
with an animal looking at a porno mag.

00:18:30.417 --> 00:18:31.877
Here's two fucking nickels.

00:18:31.877 --> 00:18:34.392
The first half is him just 
stumbling around

00:18:34.392 --> 00:18:36.157
trying to get back with his ex wife

00:18:36.242 --> 00:18:39.224
who pours soup on him—
what is this gag?

00:18:39.224 --> 00:18:42.363
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?
You think this was genuinely funny?

00:18:42.363 --> 00:18:46.363
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.

00:18:46.560 --> 00:18:49.593
Cosby doesn't have a single 
funny line or hook to his character

00:18:49.593 --> 00:18:52.144
you can tell he's put 
zero effort into any of this

00:18:52.224 --> 00:18:56.713
It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie 
but I don't wanna look too stupid,

00:18:56.780 --> 00:19:00.732
These so-called jokes are what the most
boring uptight person in the world

00:19:00.732 --> 00:19:02.355
would think being silly is.

00:19:02.355 --> 00:19:05.816
[mocking] Oh, look, wow 
he's being a ballerina, so girly.

00:19:05.816 --> 00:19:10.310
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, 
how can he subject himself to that.

00:19:10.310 --> 00:19:14.493
Oh, wee, it's like he thinks 
these things are so beneath him

00:19:14.493 --> 00:19:16.415
that just him doing it would be funny.

00:19:16.415 --> 00:19:17.920
What a piece of shit.

00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:19.705
What really makes me mad, though?

00:19:19.705 --> 00:19:23.473
It's completely unfair. Because everyone
seems to be trying, but him.

00:19:23.473 --> 00:19:26.793
In the end when Leonard tries to 
free all the animals from captivity,

00:19:26.793 --> 00:19:29.090
and I just wanna
recognize this bird right here.

00:19:29.090 --> 00:19:33.020
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars
of his cage with his beak and breaks free

00:19:33.214 --> 00:19:34.274
God bless this bird.

00:19:34.274 --> 00:19:37.404
This bird put more effort
than Bill Cosby in his own movie.

00:19:37.634 --> 00:19:41.124
This bird did not deserve to be
in one of the worst movies of all time.

00:19:41.124 --> 00:19:42.435
None of these animals did.

00:19:42.435 --> 00:19:44.735
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed

00:19:44.735 --> 00:19:48.278
with a sex criminal grinding
his pudding pop on its back.

00:19:48.278 --> 00:19:53.245
If audiences in 1987 hated this, 
watching it now,

00:19:53.245 --> 00:19:56.725
with all the humor naturally diluted
even further to the passage of time

00:19:56.725 --> 00:19:58.865
is like drinking a 40 year old
can of new coke

00:19:58.865 --> 00:20:02.155
and when Bill's handing you a drink,
you probably shouldn't drink it.

00:20:02.375 --> 00:20:04.477
(gurgling)

00:20:10.889 --> 00:20:14.786
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise
plays a bartender in Manhattan.

00:20:15.136 --> 00:20:17.639
He movies to Jamaica 
and falls in love with a girl.

00:20:17.639 --> 00:20:20.449
Then he loses her and moves back
to New York to win her back

00:20:20.449 --> 00:20:21.599
That's pretty much it.

00:20:21.599 --> 00:20:23.719
What you see is what you get
with this one.

00:20:23.719 --> 00:20:25.109
It's a really mediocre movie.

00:20:25.109 --> 00:20:27.232
Not that good, but not that bad either.

00:20:27.232 --> 00:20:29.699
Well except for when Tom Cruise
stands on a bar

00:20:29.699 --> 00:20:31.142
and reads his shitty poetry.

00:20:31.142 --> 00:20:32.312
This is pretty cringey.

00:20:32.312 --> 00:20:34.821
I see America drinking

00:20:34.821 --> 00:20:37.554
the fabulous cocktails I make.

00:20:38.743 --> 00:20:42.163
America's getting stinking
on something I stir or shake.

00:20:42.163 --> 00:20:44.463
(laughing)

00:20:44.463 --> 00:20:47.273
I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,

00:20:47.273 --> 00:20:49.817
iced tea the kamikaze,

00:20:49.817 --> 00:20:52.067
(hollering)

00:20:52.067 --> 00:20:57.037
the sex on the beach
is Schnapps made from peach

00:20:57.037 --> 00:21:00.497
the ball and hammer
the Alabama slammer!

00:21:00.497 --> 00:21:04.340
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,
this movie was a massive success,

00:21:04.340 --> 00:21:09.237
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars
on a 20 million dollar budget.

00:21:09.237 --> 00:21:12.661
It's also the movie the Beach Boys
"Kokomo" song was written for.

00:21:13.188 --> 00:21:15.328
Besides that, not much to talk about here.

00:21:15.328 --> 00:21:18.534
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture
because this was the year

00:21:18.534 --> 00:21:20.519
Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.

00:21:20.519 --> 00:21:24.485
The voters must have thought it was funny
to make the Best and Worst Picture

00:21:24.485 --> 00:21:25.713
be Tom Cruise movies.

00:21:32.549 --> 00:21:36.676
Ok before making this video,
I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.

00:21:36.676 --> 00:21:40.933
But because I'm committed to my craft,
I went and watched all 6 original movies

00:21:40.933 --> 00:21:43.895
just to understand why this one
is considered the worst.

00:21:43.895 --> 00:21:45.353
After all that, I—

00:21:46.107 --> 00:21:47.840
Yeah. I get it now.

00:21:47.840 --> 00:21:51.566
It's not a horrible movie but especially
compared to the previous films,

00:21:51.566 --> 00:21:53.604
Star Trek V is pretty bleh.

00:21:53.604 --> 00:21:56.029
Pretty much everything went wrong
behind the scenes.

00:21:56.029 --> 00:21:59.240
William Shatner directed it
with no prior experience.

00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:01.973
Nobody could agree on anything
during the writing process,

00:22:01.973 --> 00:22:03.370
There was a writers' strike.

00:22:03.370 --> 00:22:04.657
Then a Teamsters strike.

00:22:04.657 --> 00:22:06.993
They shot a lot of the movie
in the Mojave Desert,

00:22:06.993 --> 00:22:08.670
which is as miserable as it sounds.

00:22:08.670 --> 00:22:12.670
After the filming was done, they only had
3 months to make the special effects,

00:22:12.670 --> 00:22:16.120
and all the best effects technicians
in Hollywood were busy working on

00:22:16.120 --> 00:22:18.594
Indiana Jones 3
and Ghostbusters II at the time.

00:22:18.594 --> 00:22:21.539
Do I think this movie
deserved Worst Picture? No.

00:22:21.539 --> 00:22:24.633
It does some wacky things like
introduce Spock's long-lost brother

00:22:24.633 --> 00:22:26.091
that he never mentioned before

00:22:26.091 --> 00:22:28.487
Or show Kirk getting mauled
by a cat woman.

00:22:28.700 --> 00:22:31.146
Overall I really don't think it's that bad

00:22:31.146 --> 00:22:33.572
Though I'm not a Trekkie who had to see

00:22:33.572 --> 00:22:36.834
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise
in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"

00:22:36.834 --> 00:22:37.904
So…

00:22:39.814 --> 00:22:41.814
I mean…is that bad?

00:22:42.628 --> 00:22:43.910
I actually don't know.

00:22:44.662 --> 00:22:49.041
Can someone in the comments tell me
if that's bad, if that's out of character?

00:22:49.821 --> 00:22:51.561
Should I be mad
at this or not?

00:22:58.561 --> 00:23:00.791
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a

00:23:00.791 --> 00:23:02.889
"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.

00:23:02.889 --> 00:23:05.035
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,

00:23:05.035 --> 00:23:08.020
he was a comedian most active
in the late 80s and early 90s

00:23:08.020 --> 00:23:10.310
who was known as the Dice Man,

00:23:10.310 --> 00:23:14.584
which was basically a cover to tell
the most offensive jokes possible.

00:23:14.711 --> 00:23:16.195
And they're always on parade.

00:23:16.655 --> 00:23:19.425
They march down the street
with t-shirts and flags

00:23:19.425 --> 00:23:21.695
'I want money for AIDS disease.'
Beautiful.

00:23:21.819 --> 00:23:25.213
I want money for a fucking car,
I ain't marching up and down the street

00:23:25.284 --> 00:23:26.464
Get a job, butt slammer.

00:23:26.506 --> 00:23:29.585
[Evasive] The movie itself
is about a detective, I guess,

00:23:29.585 --> 00:23:31.385
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.

00:23:31.385 --> 00:23:34.779
I was on my phone the whole time
because I was just so bored.

00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:36.623
- I got something serious to discuss.

00:23:37.703 --> 00:23:41.392
Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?
(laughing)

00:23:41.392 --> 00:23:43.846
We were at our parents'
wedding anniversary,

00:23:43.846 --> 00:23:44.976
and I told that joke,

00:23:45.156 --> 00:23:47.076
'What's the definition of vagina?

00:23:47.297 --> 00:23:50.507
The box that peanuts comes in!' (laugh)

00:23:50.547 --> 00:23:53.313
Gilbert Godfrey plays
the only funny character in the movie

00:23:53.313 --> 00:23:56.743
but he dies like 25 minutes in
and the rest is just a boring mess

00:23:56.743 --> 00:23:58.362
that's impossible to follow.

00:23:58.362 --> 00:24:01.817
The director Renny Harlin was also
working on Die Hard 2 at the time

00:24:01.817 --> 00:24:05.657
which came out in theaters
at the same time as Ford Fairlane

00:24:05.657 --> 00:24:08.562
and when you compare the money
between the two movies.

00:24:08.562 --> 00:24:11.132
Yeah, it's obvious which movie
he cared about more.

00:24:11.132 --> 00:24:13.422
Clint Eastwood.

00:24:13.422 --> 00:24:15.812
I fucked him. Oh!

00:24:22.390 --> 00:24:24.355
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie

00:24:24.355 --> 00:24:26.805
with Ford Fairlane tieing
with another movie

00:24:26.805 --> 00:24:29.141
from unapologetic
pepophile John Derek.

00:24:29.141 --> 00:24:33.063
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman
married to a much older man

00:24:33.063 --> 00:24:36.751
and when the older man dies,
his ghost takes up residence in her head

00:24:36.751 --> 00:24:38.571
and goads her into murdering a man

00:24:38.571 --> 00:24:41.343
so he can possess his body
and have sex with her again.

00:24:41.343 --> 00:24:43.863
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie

00:24:43.863 --> 00:24:45.550
where John Derek fantasizes about

00:24:45.550 --> 00:24:48.468
living rent-free in Bo Derek's head
after he dies.

00:24:48.468 --> 00:24:50.640
Plus this ended up being his last movie.

00:24:50.806 --> 00:24:53.209
It would be poetic
if it wasn't so disgusting.

00:24:53.209 --> 00:24:59.753
Bo was very very young.
Linda was very young…

00:24:59.753 --> 00:25:01.714
I guess I just meet them young,

00:25:01.714 --> 00:25:04.138
before they're wise enough
to know I'm not the guy.

00:25:04.138 --> 00:25:06.888
Anyway the acting is bad,
the story is bad,

00:25:06.888 --> 00:25:08.157
the visuals are bad,

00:25:08.157 --> 00:25:10.597
but the real cherry on top is: this movie

00:25:10.597 --> 00:25:13.161
was the first film appearance
of Donald Trump.

00:25:13.161 --> 00:25:17.102
No joke, Trump's first movie
was made by a pedophile.

00:25:17.228 --> 00:25:19.623
He even does a little duck face in it,
look at him.

00:25:22.487 --> 00:25:23.277
Poetic.

00:25:29.481 --> 00:25:30.556
Just watch this clip.

00:25:30.556 --> 00:25:31.872
Woah!

00:25:32.860 --> 00:25:34.515
Happy [inaudible]

00:25:35.375 --> 00:25:40.125
Oh no! How am I driving?
1800-I'm gonna-fucking-die!"

00:25:40.125 --> 00:25:43.215
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays
a master burglar fresh out of prison

00:25:43.215 --> 00:25:45.325
who was blackmailed into stealing some art

00:25:45.325 --> 00:25:48.124
but it's all part of a conspiracy
to build a secret machine

00:25:48.124 --> 00:25:50.917
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci
that can turn lead into gold.

00:25:50.917 --> 00:25:54.698
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis
was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,

00:25:54.698 --> 00:25:56.956
and was looking to branch out
with Hudson Hawk.

00:25:56.956 --> 00:25:59.509
Apparently he couldn't decide
what he wanted it to be.

00:25:59.509 --> 00:26:01.697
In an interview,
one of the writers later said:

00:26:01.697 --> 00:26:03.240
I knew we were in trouble

00:26:03.240 --> 00:26:05.275
when Joel and Bruce
would say

00:26:05.275 --> 00:26:08.071
You know what this is?
This is a Pink Panther movie.

00:26:08.071 --> 00:26:09.343
The next day they'd say

00:26:09.343 --> 00:26:12.452
You know what this is? This is an
American James Bond movie.

00:26:12.452 --> 00:26:16.080
Then it would be:
This is North by Northwest.

00:26:16.080 --> 00:26:17.609
I even remember someone saying:

00:26:17.609 --> 00:26:20.129
You know what this is?
This is Casino Royale.

00:26:20.129 --> 00:26:23.864
Eventually I realized, if every day they
were saying it was something different

00:26:23.864 --> 00:26:26.730
once we got to the editing room,
we were gonna be in trouble.

00:26:26.730 --> 00:26:29.035
So yeah, the final product
is all over the place.

00:26:29.035 --> 00:26:31.973
But he movie developed
a bit of a cult following

00:26:31.973 --> 00:26:34.944
just because it's so…so silly

00:26:34.944 --> 00:26:36.664
(screaming)

00:26:36.664 --> 00:26:38.754
- Honey?
- (screaming)

00:26:39.396 --> 00:26:40.395
Ball ball?

00:26:40.395 --> 00:26:41.286
Woof!

00:26:42.652 --> 00:26:45.442
(dog screaming)

00:26:52.648 --> 00:26:54.910
Here's another movie
that's really not that bad.

00:26:54.910 --> 00:26:58.746
It's a World War II spy movie where
Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman

00:26:58.746 --> 00:27:02.504
with no spy experience
who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin

00:27:02.504 --> 00:27:06.385
because she wants to prove herself and
save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.

00:27:06.385 --> 00:27:08.466
Michael Douglas plays another spy

00:27:08.466 --> 00:27:12.097
and pre-Schindler's List
Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.

00:27:12.097 --> 00:27:14.190
Most complaints about the movie
were aimed at

00:27:14.190 --> 00:27:16.766
how unbelievable
Melanie Griffith is as a spy

00:27:16.766 --> 00:27:18.866
because she was really bad at her job.

00:27:18.866 --> 00:27:22.543
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and
taking the German kids she's nannying

00:27:22.543 --> 00:27:25.663
to the building her cousins are hiding in"
kind of bad

00:27:25.663 --> 00:27:28.106
But overall it's not that awful of a movie

00:27:28.106 --> 00:27:30.156
because the plot holes
and writing problems

00:27:30.156 --> 00:27:33.492
are balanced out by a good soundtrack
and good cinematography

00:27:33.492 --> 00:27:34.656
It's just average.

00:27:34.656 --> 00:27:36.096
Not bad enough to be memorable

00:27:36.096 --> 00:27:38.503
but not good enough
that you'd ever watch it again.

00:27:38.503 --> 00:27:40.803
The cinematic equivalent
of eating at Denny's.

00:27:40.803 --> 00:27:44.437
I think 1992 was just a slow year
for bad movies in general.

00:27:44.437 --> 00:27:47.755
That same year they also 
nominated Newsies for Worst Picture

00:27:47.755 --> 00:27:51.188
and Danny DeVito for
Worst Supporting Actor

00:27:51.188 --> 00:27:54.626
like…what? Why? How?

00:27:56.146 --> 00:27:56.846
What?

00:28:04.068 --> 00:28:06.354
Once again, this is a movie
that's not that bad.

00:28:06.354 --> 00:28:08.702
It's a drama where
Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore

00:28:08.702 --> 00:28:11.408
play a financially struggling
married couple in Vegas

00:28:11.408 --> 00:28:13.576
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy

00:28:13.576 --> 00:28:15.618
who offers the couple 1 million dollars

00:28:15.618 --> 00:28:17.636
for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.

00:28:17.636 --> 00:28:19.370
Honestly, it's fine.

00:28:19.370 --> 00:28:23.403
It takes itself very seriously
and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.

00:28:23.403 --> 00:28:27.294
Also it's completely unbelievable that
a man who looks like Robert Redford

00:28:27.294 --> 00:28:30.733
would pay a million dollars
to sleep with someone.

00:28:30.733 --> 00:28:32.803
But in the context of the movie it works.

00:28:32.803 --> 00:28:35.597
Definitely not the
worst movie of the year.

00:28:35.597 --> 00:28:37.517
You're telling me that Indecent Proposal

00:28:37.517 --> 00:28:40.817
won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny
wasn't even nominated?

00:28:40.817 --> 00:28:43.187
Razzie voters were asleep
at the wheel this year.

00:28:52.653 --> 00:28:56.371
In this one Bruce Willis plays a
psychologist who can't see the color red

00:28:56.371 --> 00:28:58.849
who gets wrapped up
in a murder after his colleague

00:28:58.849 --> 00:29:00.543
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style

00:29:00.543 --> 00:29:02.676
and he suspects someone
in his therapy group.

00:29:02.722 --> 00:29:06.006
I'm so confused why this
was even nominated for Worst Picture

00:29:06.006 --> 00:29:08.006
because this wasn't a bad movie at all.

00:29:08.175 --> 00:29:11.592
It's surreal and weird, sure,
but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way

00:29:11.592 --> 00:29:13.966
where it's still unsettling
and fun to watch.

00:29:13.966 --> 00:29:16.680
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.

00:29:17.992 --> 00:29:19.418
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.

00:29:19.418 --> 00:29:22.560
Another one that became a cult hit
after home video release.

00:29:22.560 --> 00:29:26.196
Partly because of this crazy sex scene
in a pool that everybody wanted to see

00:29:26.196 --> 00:29:28.846
It was even streaming
on Criterion Channel at one point

00:29:28.846 --> 00:29:31.115
which basically means
that it's certified art.

00:29:31.115 --> 00:29:32.325
That's all I have to say.

00:29:32.325 --> 00:29:36.057
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies
aren't bad enough to complain about.

00:29:42.674 --> 00:29:45.164
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.

00:29:45.164 --> 00:29:47.323
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven

00:29:47.323 --> 00:29:50.089
was the first to accept
his Razzie award in person.

00:29:50.089 --> 00:29:51.753
And that's kind of funny.

00:29:51.802 --> 00:29:55.479
And I'm very happy 
because it was much more fun

00:29:55.479 --> 00:29:58.188
than reading the reviews in September. 
Thank you so much.

00:29:58.188 --> 00:30:01.722
(clapping, cheering)

00:30:01.722 --> 00:30:03.851
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.

00:30:03.851 --> 00:30:07.228
It's actually a great movie, 
in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.

00:30:07.228 --> 00:30:11.043
It is a wild movie about the world of
high budget Las Vegas strip shows

00:30:11.043 --> 00:30:12.945
Obviously with subject matter like that

00:30:12.945 --> 00:30:14.906
you're going to view it very differently

00:30:14.906 --> 00:30:16.860
depending on your gender and sexuality.

00:30:16.860 --> 00:30:19.040
But regardless of what kind
of person you are

00:30:19.040 --> 00:30:22.224
the experience of watching this movie
is an absolute rollercoaster.

00:30:22.224 --> 00:30:24.013
One. Two. Three.

00:30:24.013 --> 00:30:28.053
Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it!

00:30:28.053 --> 00:30:29.494
Come on, thrust it.

00:30:29.494 --> 00:30:33.128
But for as over the top as this movie is
it's also pretty true to life.

00:30:33.128 --> 00:30:36.009
During his research, 
writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed

00:30:36.009 --> 00:30:38.299
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas

00:30:38.299 --> 00:30:41.216
and the result was a
shockingly straightforward depiction

00:30:41.216 --> 00:30:44.182
of the lives of high profile
sex workers and performers

00:30:44.182 --> 00:30:47.013
And a biting satire against
show business in general.

00:30:47.243 --> 00:30:48.571
Take a look at these tits.

00:30:48.729 --> 00:30:50.476
What are these, watermelons?

00:30:50.504 --> 00:30:52.502
This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.

00:30:52.902 --> 00:30:53.662
See ya.

00:30:53.696 --> 00:30:55.724
Your ears are sticking out. They are.

00:30:56.069 --> 00:30:58.097
Come back and see me
when you get em fixed.

00:30:58.524 --> 00:30:59.264
See ya.

00:31:01.206 --> 00:31:03.329
Can you spell MGM backwards?
I bet you can't.

00:31:03.412 --> 00:31:05.222
- MGM.
- I'm impressed.

00:31:05.613 --> 00:31:08.053
Come back when you
fuck some of those baby fat off.

00:31:08.053 --> 00:31:11.960
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,
none of this is that shocking

00:31:11.960 --> 00:31:14.839
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.

00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:18.155
Plus with the subject matter,
this movie has a lot of nudity.

00:31:18.155 --> 00:31:20.534
It was rated NC-17 in America

00:31:20.534 --> 00:31:25.225
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie
ever given a wide release in theaters.

00:31:25.225 --> 00:31:27.706
It was so explicit and controversial

00:31:27.706 --> 00:31:31.187
that MGM had to hire security
at every movie theater in America

00:31:31.187 --> 00:31:34.567
just to make sure nobody under
the age of 18 snuck into the theater.

00:31:34.567 --> 00:31:36.748
The movie lost millions of dollars

00:31:36.748 --> 00:31:39.387
and to this day, no studio has ever dared

00:31:39.387 --> 00:31:42.320
to try and release an NC-17 movie
in theaters again.

00:31:42.320 --> 00:31:46.201
If this sounds interesting to you,
I recommend giving this movie a watch

00:31:46.201 --> 00:31:49.513
because I can't really do it justice
with just words alone.

00:31:49.513 --> 00:31:51.398
Just know what you're getting into

00:31:51.398 --> 00:31:54.507
because this movie is every bit
as traumatic as it is glamorous

00:31:54.507 --> 00:31:58.211
And actually to prove to you
how much I like this movie, watch this.

00:31:59.315 --> 00:32:00.155
Oh.

00:32:00.691 --> 00:32:01.634
Oh.

00:32:03.684 --> 00:32:05.238
I'm a showgirl.

00:32:05.931 --> 00:32:07.918
I'm a showgirl, baby.

00:32:08.466 --> 00:32:09.833
I'm a showgirl.

00:32:16.472 --> 00:32:17.218
In the mid-90s

00:32:17.218 --> 00:32:19.985
Demi Moore was one of the
biggest film stars in the world.

00:32:20.243 --> 00:32:22.243
And the world was dying to know,

00:32:22.243 --> 00:32:24.243
what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?

00:32:24.567 --> 00:32:26.908
That's actually the only reason
this movie exists.

00:32:26.908 --> 00:32:29.761
They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars

00:32:29.761 --> 00:32:33.171
the most any woman had ever been paid
for a movie role at the time

00:32:33.171 --> 00:32:36.514
just so she would star in this movie
and show her boobs to the camera.

00:32:37.884 --> 00:32:40.801
This movie is like if
Showgirls was actually bad.

00:32:40.801 --> 00:32:44.868
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses
her daughter in a custody battle

00:32:44.868 --> 00:32:47.783
and then becomes a stripper in Florida
at the Eager Beaver

00:32:47.783 --> 00:32:49.516
to pay for a court appeal.

00:32:49.516 --> 00:32:51.925
She basically girlbosses being a stripper.

00:32:51.925 --> 00:32:54.187
Not in a nuanced way
like Showgirls though.

00:32:54.187 --> 00:32:57.189
But in a stupid way
that takes itself seriously

00:32:57.189 --> 00:32:59.781
and is mostly boring 
and not believable at all.

00:32:59.781 --> 00:33:02.797
Despite bad reviews, the movie
ended up being a huge success

00:33:02.797 --> 00:33:05.349
The director-writer-producer
Andrew Bergman

00:33:05.349 --> 00:33:07.595
basically quit Hollywood after this movie

00:33:07.595 --> 00:33:09.163
I'm pretty sure what happened is

00:33:09.163 --> 00:33:11.402
once he got Demi Moore 
to agree to go topless,

00:33:11.402 --> 00:33:13.572
he just phoned in the rest of the movie

00:33:13.572 --> 00:33:16.821
because clearly the audiences
weren't watching for the plot.

00:33:16.821 --> 00:33:17.871
But what can I say?

00:33:18.450 --> 00:33:19.880
That's showbiz, baby.

00:33:20.374 --> 00:33:24.675
That's…that's showbiz, baby.

00:33:31.138 --> 00:33:34.982
The Postman takes place
in a distant future year of 2013

00:33:35.161 --> 00:33:37.756
after much of humanity
has been wiped out by a plague.

00:33:37.756 --> 00:33:40.320
Kevin Costner,
who also directed the movie,

00:33:40.434 --> 00:33:44.691
stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer
that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion

00:33:44.691 --> 00:33:47.058
He escapes and finds 
an old mail bag full of mail

00:33:47.058 --> 00:33:49.317
and pretends to be a mailman
so he can get food

00:33:49.317 --> 00:33:52.310
and accidentally restarts 
the US postal service in the process

00:33:52.440 --> 00:33:54.525
Also it's almost 3 hours long.

00:33:54.525 --> 00:33:59.055
Honestly, as far as post-apocalyptic
adventures go, this one isn't that bad.

00:33:59.055 --> 00:34:02.118
It's about the same level of quality
as Waterworld, actually.

00:34:02.118 --> 00:34:06.118
But the fact that it was a 3 hour long 
Kevin Costner vanity project,

00:34:06.118 --> 00:34:08.487
released just a week after Titanic,

00:34:08.487 --> 00:34:10.516
made it a very easy target for critics.

00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:13.308
What is Kevin Costner even up to,
these days?

00:34:13.308 --> 00:34:16.309
(typing) Kevin Costner.

00:34:25.312 --> 00:34:27.638
I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.

00:34:35.328 --> 00:34:37.878
If you aren't familiar, 
the name Alan Smithee

00:34:37.878 --> 00:34:41.636
is a fake name 
the Director's Guild came up with in 1968

00:34:41.636 --> 00:34:44.065
that directors who took 
their name off a movie

00:34:44.065 --> 00:34:45.549
were required to use instead.

00:34:45.549 --> 00:34:47.858
And this movie caused such a headache

00:34:47.858 --> 00:34:50.972
that the Directors' Guild
had to officially stop allowing

00:34:50.972 --> 00:34:53.320
the use of the Alan Smithee 
name in movies.

00:34:53.320 --> 00:34:55.784
This movie was written by Joe Eszterhas

00:34:55.784 --> 00:34:57.512
and was directed by Arthur Hiller.

00:34:57.512 --> 00:35:01.002
It's a mockumentary about a guy
whose name was actually Alan Smithee

00:35:01.002 --> 00:35:03.861
who directs an action movie
but he hates the finished product

00:35:03.861 --> 00:35:06.317
so he steals the film reels
and holds them ransom

00:35:06.317 --> 00:35:08.645
because he wasn't allowed 
to take his name off.

00:35:08.645 --> 00:35:10.326
Now behind the scenes in real life,

00:35:10.326 --> 00:35:13.247
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of 
cutting Burn Hollywood Burn

00:35:13.247 --> 00:35:15.663
and when Arthur Hiller 
saw the final version

00:35:15.663 --> 00:35:19.003
he hated it so much 
he had his name taken off the movie

00:35:19.003 --> 00:35:20.816
But this of course created a confusion

00:35:20.816 --> 00:35:23.422
because this was a movie 
about Alan Smithee

00:35:23.422 --> 00:35:26.259
and the poster said it was 
directed by Alan Smithee

00:35:26.259 --> 00:35:28.428
which you would assume was just a joke

00:35:28.428 --> 00:35:32.581
but no, the director actually 
had his name taken off the movie.

00:35:32.581 --> 00:35:36.151
It would take me so long to explain 
everything that's wrong with this movie

00:35:36.151 --> 00:35:37.771
so let me sum it up in four words.

00:35:38.460 --> 00:35:39.450
Not funny.

00:35:40.593 --> 00:35:41.732
Didn't laugh.

00:35:42.212 --> 00:35:43.849
There's way too many characters,

00:35:43.849 --> 00:35:45.775
the movie jumps all over the place

00:35:45.775 --> 00:35:47.610
Harvey Weinstein is in it.

00:35:47.610 --> 00:35:48.630
"Eew."

00:35:48.630 --> 00:35:52.080
There's lots of not funny parts 
where the camera freeze frames

00:35:52.080 --> 00:35:53.974
and there's a wall of text on screen.

00:35:53.974 --> 00:35:57.258
I'm guessing what happened is 
they filmed all these scenes separately

00:35:57.258 --> 00:35:59.146
and thought they were hilarious on set

00:35:59.146 --> 00:36:02.210
but during editing, they
realized they had nothing to work with

00:36:02.210 --> 00:36:06.308
so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it 
by adding a bunch of text edit jokes

00:36:06.308 --> 00:36:08.034
which actually made the movie worse.

00:36:08.034 --> 00:36:10.796
I have no proof of this
but it seems right to me.

00:36:10.796 --> 00:36:13.121
I'd probably do the same thing
in that situation.

00:36:27.161 --> 00:36:30.235
Ok so this is a Western
steampunk fusion movie

00:36:30.235 --> 00:36:34.380
starring the Fresh Prince and the guy 
who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers

00:36:34.380 --> 00:36:36.118
as cowboy government agents

00:36:36.118 --> 00:36:39.418
hunting down an evil 
ex-Confederate officer with no legs

00:36:39.418 --> 00:36:43.438
who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant 
with a giant robot spider.

00:36:44.507 --> 00:36:45.777
That's what this movie is.

00:36:45.938 --> 00:36:48.946
(hooting)

00:36:50.069 --> 00:36:53.689
(trilling)

00:36:53.749 --> 00:36:55.127
This movie is ridiculous.

00:36:55.127 --> 00:36:58.558
I don't know what the executives 
at Warner Bros. were snorting

00:36:58.558 --> 00:37:01.601
when they decided
to spend over a 170 million dollars

00:37:01.601 --> 00:37:05.047
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith 
fights a huge mecha spider

00:37:05.047 --> 00:37:06.370
but thank god they did

00:37:06.370 --> 00:37:10.474
because Will Smith turned down playing
Neo in the Matrix to do this movie.

00:37:10.474 --> 00:37:15.158
I want you to imagine now
if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.

00:37:16.763 --> 00:37:17.763
(laughing)

00:37:17.958 --> 00:37:20.018
I probably would have
messed the Matrix up.

00:37:20.018 --> 00:37:21.146
I would've ruined it.

00:37:21.197 --> 00:37:22.867
So I did y'all a favor.

00:37:22.901 --> 00:37:25.039
This might not be a "good" movie

00:37:25.039 --> 00:37:27.379
but oh my god it's so funny.

00:37:27.379 --> 00:37:29.419
Plus the theme song is pretty fire.

00:37:29.419 --> 00:37:33.481
If I may quote one of the great
gangster rappers, William 'Will' Smith,

00:37:33.841 --> 00:37:38.595
(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, 
wicki wicki wild

00:37:38.595 --> 00:37:44.505
wicki wild, 
wicki wicki wild wild wild west.

00:37:44.847 --> 00:37:49.401
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.

00:37:50.298 --> 00:37:51.990
Do you find those lyrics inspiring?

00:37:51.990 --> 00:37:53.370
I mean, I…

00:38:00.827 --> 00:38:03.499
Battlefield Earth is 
an action sci-fi movie

00:38:03.499 --> 00:38:07.499
based on a novel written by 
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology

00:38:07.499 --> 00:38:09.499
which he wrote in 1982

00:38:09.499 --> 00:38:13.171
when he was in hiding to avoid 
going to prison for his numerous crimes.

00:38:13.171 --> 00:38:15.013
It's about a distant future world

00:38:15.013 --> 00:38:18.181
where humanity has been enslaved 
by aliens called "psychlos"

00:38:18.181 --> 00:38:20.351
which are a very obvious metaphor for

00:38:20.351 --> 00:38:22.731
L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic 
hate of psychiatrists.

00:38:22.731 --> 00:38:26.362
John Travolta, who plays 
the evil alien leader named Turl

00:38:26.362 --> 00:38:29.062
and has been a scientologist since 1975

00:38:29.062 --> 00:38:31.721
is directly responsible
for this movie existing.

00:38:31.721 --> 00:38:33.121
The production company

00:38:33.121 --> 00:38:36.862
was later found to have defrauded 
investors out of 31 million dollars

00:38:36.862 --> 00:38:38.712
by overreporting production costs

00:38:38.712 --> 00:38:43.019
causing a lawsuit that forced the company
to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.

00:38:43.194 --> 00:38:46.245
On top of that, the movie 
was a massive financial flop

00:38:46.245 --> 00:38:49.226
not just because the movie
and its John Travolta action figures

00:38:49.226 --> 00:38:51.877
were an obvious Scientology
recruitment tactic

00:38:51.877 --> 00:38:54.636
but because the movie itself 
was a visual nightmare.

00:38:54.636 --> 00:38:56.356
The special effects are ugly,

00:38:56.356 --> 00:38:57.884
the costumes are disgusting,

00:38:57.884 --> 00:39:00.513
and the whole movie was filmed
with crooked angles

00:39:00.513 --> 00:39:02.768
that changed multiple times a scene.

00:39:02.768 --> 00:39:05.270
which gave a bunch of people 
motion sickness.

00:39:05.270 --> 00:39:06.888
It's a really infamously bad movie

00:39:06.888 --> 00:39:09.726
that's been covered by many 
other channels over the years

00:39:09.726 --> 00:39:12.427
so if you want more info, 
go watch one of those videos.

00:39:12.427 --> 00:39:14.157
Just don't watch the movie itself.

00:39:14.157 --> 00:39:17.574
It'll do nothing but make you nauseous
and waste two hours of your time.

00:39:17.574 --> 00:39:19.279
I'm serious, you guys, don't do it.

00:39:26.992 --> 00:39:29.277
I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest,

00:39:29.277 --> 00:39:31.167
I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.

00:39:31.167 --> 00:39:34.694
One of my friends and I watched this movie
four times during quarantine

00:39:34.694 --> 00:39:36.314
and we kinda bonded over it.

00:39:36.314 --> 00:39:38.575
Now this movie
has a special place in my heart.

00:39:38.575 --> 00:39:39.843
"Aw."

00:39:39.843 --> 00:39:41.413
So I made Nikki watch it instead.

00:39:41.413 --> 00:39:42.713
She's never seen it before.

00:39:42.713 --> 00:39:43.863
And here she is now.

00:39:44.036 --> 00:39:47.180
Where the hell do I even
begin with this movie.

00:39:47.180 --> 00:39:51.168
Part of me thinks this movie is
some kind of deep anti-comedy

00:39:51.168 --> 00:39:54.589
meant to satirize the
other gross out comedies

00:39:54.589 --> 00:39:56.927
that were popular in the early 2000s

00:39:56.927 --> 00:40:00.364
and the other part of me thinks
that maybe it means nothing at all.

00:40:00.364 --> 00:40:02.804
I mean any normal human being

00:40:02.804 --> 00:40:04.505
will read a title like

00:40:04.505 --> 00:40:07.164
Freddy Got Fingered

00:40:07.164 --> 00:40:09.454
and run away in the opposite direction.

00:40:09.454 --> 00:40:11.365
What the fuck
is that supposed to mean?

00:40:13.834 --> 00:40:17.590
But to put it simply, this movie
is about a 28 year old man

00:40:17.590 --> 00:40:20.454
Stop it, stop it, Mom,
I'm a 28 year old man.

00:40:20.454 --> 00:40:22.594
Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man.

00:40:23.094 --> 00:40:27.957
His name is Gord and
he moves to LA to be a cheese worker.

00:40:27.957 --> 00:40:32.064
And also to pursue his dreams
of being a professional animator.

00:40:32.064 --> 00:40:35.614
Seems pretty simple, right?
Seems pretty cut and dry?

00:40:35.614 --> 00:40:37.776
But that's where you'd be wrong.

00:40:37.776 --> 00:40:40.763
Because so very many things
happen in this movie

00:40:40.763 --> 00:40:43.674
that are beyond human explanation.

00:40:43.674 --> 00:40:45.161
Just to name a few,

00:40:45.161 --> 00:40:47.160
Tom Green jerks off a horse

00:40:47.160 --> 00:40:51.356
he swings a baby around
by its umbilical cord

00:40:51.356 --> 00:40:53.514
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass

00:40:53.514 --> 00:40:56.776
And he goes scuba diving
in his own toilet.

00:40:57.736 --> 00:41:02.885
- Get out of that toilet!
- (bubbling, gurgling)

00:41:02.885 --> 00:41:06.604
But at the risk of sounding
clinically insane

00:41:06.604 --> 00:41:07.844
and demented

00:41:07.844 --> 00:41:13.211
there are moments in this movie
that I find kind of relatable.

00:41:13.211 --> 00:41:16.167
Like this one where the CEO
of an animation company

00:41:16.167 --> 00:41:19.545
tells Gord that he doesn't
like his drawings.

00:41:19.545 --> 00:41:20.613
- It sucks.

00:41:20.613 --> 00:41:25.043
And so he immediately sticks a gun
in his mouth and starts screaming.

00:41:25.043 --> 00:41:26.705
Characters are lame, I'm a loser

00:41:26.705 --> 00:41:27.953
I wish I was dead.

00:41:27.953 --> 00:41:29.640
- (screaming)
- Wait, wait.

00:41:29.640 --> 00:41:34.624
What makes this even funnier 
is that once he receives validation,

00:41:34.624 --> 00:41:38.765
he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts
like none of that ever happened at all.

00:41:38.765 --> 00:41:42.425
Sir I can't work on this all day, I got 
a job at the cheese sandwich factory.

00:41:42.425 --> 00:41:47.355
If you're mentally ill, and make art,
this is the film for you.

00:41:47.355 --> 00:41:49.865
It's time I get a job
and do something with my life

00:41:49.865 --> 00:41:51.999
instead of acting like 
a little baby.

00:41:51.999 --> 00:41:54.685
I can't think of anything to draw
because I'm so stupid.

00:41:54.685 --> 00:41:55.705
I'm so stupid.

00:41:55.705 --> 00:41:58.809
And this movie surprised me
in so many different ways

00:41:58.809 --> 00:42:02.652
For one, it made me laugh
way more than I anticipated.

00:42:02.652 --> 00:42:05.340
Can't you see we're both
just a couple of stupid idiots.

00:42:05.340 --> 00:42:08.469
- Gord…
- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!

00:42:08.469 --> 00:42:12.243
It was also weirdly based at times.

00:42:12.243 --> 00:42:17.490
I say weirdly because the early 2000s
was a derogatory fever dream.

00:42:17.490 --> 00:42:20.710
It was like running thru the perfume
department in SpongeBob

00:42:20.710 --> 00:42:22.756
but the perfume was slurs.

00:42:22.756 --> 00:42:26.845
Gord ends up asking out
this nurse named Betty

00:42:26.845 --> 00:42:31.390
and she says yes, but afterwards
he finds out that she's in a wheelchair.

00:42:31.390 --> 00:42:37.104
At first I was like, oh shit, 
it's about to get really ableist in here

00:42:37.104 --> 00:42:37.968
Lel-lel-lel.

00:42:37.968 --> 00:42:39.762
I was truly prepared for the worst.

00:42:39.762 --> 00:42:44.317
But my expectations were
completely subverted when Betty ended up

00:42:44.317 --> 00:42:47.530
not only being the smartest
person in this whole movie

00:42:47.530 --> 00:42:51.184
but her and Gord remain in
a relationship for the rest of the film.

00:42:52.587 --> 00:42:55.838
- I have a bag of jewels for you.
- Gord…

00:42:55.838 --> 00:42:58.601
- They're jewels, Betty.
They're jewels.

00:42:58.601 --> 00:43:00.894
Another interesting thing to me is that

00:43:00.894 --> 00:43:02.937
Betty constantly wants to

00:43:02.937 --> 00:43:04.717
give Gord a blowjob.

00:43:04.717 --> 00:43:05.936
Here me out dude!

00:43:05.936 --> 00:43:09.435
She asks him this
so many times in the movie,

00:43:09.435 --> 00:43:12.889
that it comes off as
very obviously satirical.

00:43:12.889 --> 00:43:17.191
Gord, I don't care about jewels, 
I just wanna suck your cock

00:43:17.246 --> 00:43:18.491
My life's a little hectic,

00:43:18.491 --> 00:43:21.360
I'm having trouble concentrating
with all the skateboarding…

00:43:21.420 --> 00:43:23.770
- You sucking my penis all the time
- (chuckling)

00:43:23.770 --> 00:43:26.250
Again, my expectations were subverted

00:43:26.250 --> 00:43:31.344
by Gord being the one who repeatedly asks
if they can just go out on a date.

00:43:31.344 --> 00:43:33.817
I just think if we went out 
on at least one date

00:43:33.817 --> 00:43:35.757
and you didn't do any sucking right now

00:43:35.757 --> 00:43:38.107
that would make the whole 
sucking to date ratio

00:43:38.107 --> 00:43:39.795
far more balanced, you know?

00:43:39.795 --> 00:43:44.749
This could be a play on the trope
of male protagonists in comedy especially

00:43:44.749 --> 00:43:46.671
being obsessed with sex

00:43:46.671 --> 00:43:51.093
And not only that but women
being ultra sexualized in these movies.

00:43:51.093 --> 00:43:54.779
Not all the subversion in this movie
is good, though, necessarily.

00:43:54.779 --> 00:43:57.612
If you were wondering
how the movie got its title,

00:43:57.612 --> 00:44:01.142
I shit you not,
about 50 minutes into the film,

00:44:01.142 --> 00:44:05.659
Gord frames his dad
for "fingering" his brother.

00:44:05.659 --> 00:44:07.099
At least I don't touch Freddy.

00:44:07.099 --> 00:44:08.070
He fingers him.

00:44:08.070 --> 00:44:11.095
His brother who is like 25
and doesn't even live with them.

00:44:11.095 --> 00:44:12.405
- He's a molester!

00:44:12.405 --> 00:44:15.368
He's a child molester!

00:44:15.368 --> 00:44:18.144
But CPS literally goes into his apartment

00:44:18.144 --> 00:44:21.051
and takes him to the molestation hospital.

00:44:21.051 --> 00:44:22.666
Is this shocking?

00:44:22.666 --> 00:44:23.741
Uh, yes.

00:44:23.741 --> 00:44:27.641
I don't know if it's shocking compared to 
the other things in this movie.

00:44:27.641 --> 00:44:30.345
(screaming)

00:44:30.345 --> 00:44:31.933
Is it in poor taste?

00:44:31.933 --> 00:44:33.632
Uh…luhh…luhh…

00:44:33.632 --> 00:44:34.591
Maybe.

00:44:34.591 --> 00:44:37.040
But this whole framing of the fingering

00:44:37.040 --> 00:44:40.644
is the canon event that
leads to the finale of the film.

00:44:40.644 --> 00:44:43.023
When Gord pranks his dad by

00:44:43.023 --> 00:44:46.976
abducting him in the middle of the night
and taking him to Pakistan.

00:44:46.976 --> 00:44:48.319
You're fucking dead.

00:44:50.239 --> 00:44:54.213
They could write books
and novels and college theseses

00:44:54.213 --> 00:44:58.517
about everything else that happen
between then and the ending

00:44:58.517 --> 00:45:01.902
but just know that this movie
ends with Gord and his dad

00:45:01.902 --> 00:45:03.754
being covered in elephant cum

00:45:03.754 --> 00:45:08.346
(elephant trumpeting)

00:45:08.346 --> 00:45:11.262
Speaking of which,
there's an elephant in this room!

00:45:11.262 --> 00:45:16.316
The elephant is that
I actually kinda like this movie.

00:45:16.316 --> 00:45:17.682
Also the elephant is coming.

00:45:17.682 --> 00:45:19.434
Is that so wrong?

00:45:19.434 --> 00:45:22.306
And is it so wrong that maybe kinda

00:45:22.306 --> 00:45:25.313
I might be attracted
to Tom Green in this movie?

00:45:25.313 --> 00:45:29.997
Is it ok that he might be
the Pete Davidson of the 90s?

00:45:29.997 --> 00:45:30.841
Shut up.

00:45:30.841 --> 00:45:33.446
As far as career-ruining films go,

00:45:33.446 --> 00:45:37.369
Tom Green took the failure
of Freddy very very well.

00:45:37.369 --> 00:45:39.912
He even showed up
to accept his Golden Razzie.

00:45:39.912 --> 00:45:41.969
He rolled out his own red carpet too.

00:45:41.969 --> 00:45:44.835
- Well done you guys. Give him some space.

00:45:47.285 --> 00:45:48.670
- Thank you so much!

00:45:48.670 --> 00:45:50.174
- Can you grab that at the end?

00:45:50.174 --> 00:45:51.225
Thank you very much.

00:45:51.225 --> 00:45:52.621
Celebrate your successes

00:45:53.173 --> 00:45:54.764
and your failures.

00:46:01.741 --> 00:46:04.659
[Evasive] A remake of an Italian film
from 1974

00:46:04.659 --> 00:46:07.353
Swept Away is a movie 
where Madonna plays the dumbest

00:46:07.353 --> 00:46:09.750
most unlikable rich woman in the world

00:46:09.750 --> 00:46:12.463
who gets marooned
on an island with an Italian sailor

00:46:12.463 --> 00:46:14.820
who hates her and sexually assaults her.

00:46:14.820 --> 00:46:16.517
3 minutes after that

00:46:16.517 --> 00:46:18.869
there's a time skip
and suddenly they're in love.

00:46:18.869 --> 00:46:21.727
It's a nasty nasty nasty movie

00:46:21.727 --> 00:46:23.560
and I don't even wanna talk about it.

00:46:23.560 --> 00:46:27.084
It was so bad it caused
Madonna to give up on acting entirely.

00:46:27.084 --> 00:46:30.240
It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.

00:46:30.240 --> 00:46:32.720
Especially when you consider
the movie was directed

00:46:32.720 --> 00:46:34.671
by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.

00:46:34.671 --> 00:46:37.240
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008

00:46:37.240 --> 00:46:40.351
but in my opinion, queen should've
divorced Ritchie on the spot

00:46:40.351 --> 00:46:41.861
for even suggesting this movie.

00:46:41.861 --> 00:46:43.848
[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.

00:46:44.150 --> 00:46:47.117
There's nothing glamorous about it.
You were really mean to me.

00:46:47.590 --> 00:46:49.330
- I just want to slap you on camera.

00:46:49.330 --> 00:46:50.356
Why, Mrs. Ritchie?

00:46:50.938 --> 00:46:54.023
For those times you let Adriano 
slap me and never yelled 'cut'.

00:46:54.023 --> 00:46:54.943
[Ritchie] One more.

00:46:54.943 --> 00:46:56.943
- those times they threw octopuses on me,

00:46:56.943 --> 00:46:59.050
when you made me stay 
in the freezing water

00:46:59.050 --> 00:47:01.020
when you made me run down the sand dunes

00:47:01.020 --> 00:47:02.212
and when you ate my food.

00:47:02.212 --> 00:47:03.482
And you didn't pay me.

00:47:03.482 --> 00:47:05.022
And you never said thank you.

00:47:05.022 --> 00:47:08.142
(crying)

00:47:25.313 --> 00:47:27.642
I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high

00:47:27.642 --> 00:47:30.226
of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered

00:47:30.226 --> 00:47:34.302
when Gigli came in
and literally snuffed the life out of me.

00:47:34.302 --> 00:47:36.175
Gigli is a movie.

00:47:37.631 --> 00:47:39.528
It's about a mobster named Gigli

00:47:39.528 --> 00:47:42.300
played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.

00:47:42.300 --> 00:47:44.615
Much like this review on Letterboxd,

00:47:44.615 --> 00:47:47.287
I too hope Gigli kills himself.

00:47:47.287 --> 00:47:51.937
Because not only does he abduct
a mentally challenged teenager,

00:47:51.937 --> 00:47:54.713
and abuse him
while holding him for ransom,

00:47:55.593 --> 00:47:57.459
What if I smack you
in the fucking head?

00:47:57.459 --> 00:47:59.937
He's also just cringe.

00:47:59.937 --> 00:48:01.451
Unforgivably so.

00:48:01.451 --> 00:48:04.448
J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately

00:48:04.448 --> 00:48:08.143
and she plays this
other mobster or mobsterette

00:48:08.143 --> 00:48:12.170
who is supposed to help him
take care of this mentally disabled kid

00:48:12.170 --> 00:48:15.152
and she also just happens to be a lesbian.

00:48:15.152 --> 00:48:16.414
It means I'm a lesbian.

00:48:18.834 --> 00:48:22.849
Or should I say, the least
convincing lesbian in film history.

00:48:22.849 --> 00:48:25.837
No lesbians were consulted
in the making of this movie.

00:48:25.837 --> 00:48:27.290
Because what the fuck is this?

00:48:27.290 --> 00:48:28.711
It's turkey time.

00:48:30.956 --> 00:48:31.686
Huh?

00:48:31.875 --> 00:48:32.764
Gobble gobble.

00:48:32.764 --> 00:48:34.434
You may not be able to tell

00:48:34.434 --> 00:48:38.074
because this is the weirdest way
I've ever heard anyone describe it

00:48:38.074 --> 00:48:40.864
but she's talking about eating pussy here.

00:48:40.864 --> 00:48:44.054
I really don't know who told J.Lo.

00:48:44.054 --> 00:48:45.666
or whoever wrote this script

00:48:45.666 --> 00:48:48.378
that lesbians call that turkey time.

00:48:48.378 --> 00:48:51.899
But whoever it was deserves
to be taken out behind a barn and shot.

00:48:51.899 --> 00:48:55.934
Of course Gigli doesn't
respect her sexuality.

00:48:55.934 --> 00:48:58.903
Your girlfriends, they're at
a natural disadvantage.

00:48:58.903 --> 00:49:01.825
They might try hard
but they're not just backed up

00:49:01.825 --> 00:49:04.409
by millions of years
of genetic engineering.

00:49:04.409 --> 00:49:07.576
He whines and complains
throughout the whole movie about

00:49:07.576 --> 00:49:11.185
Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian
but I'm attracted to her.

00:49:11.185 --> 00:49:12.453
And I wanna be with her.

00:49:12.453 --> 00:49:14.866
You know why I'm fucking sad?
I've got this fucking

00:49:14.866 --> 00:49:17.436
beautiful, sexy, gorgeous
heartthrobba-rama

00:49:17.436 --> 00:49:19.046
fucking smart, amazing, bombshell

00:49:19.046 --> 00:49:20.464
17 on a fucking 10 scale girl

00:49:20.464 --> 00:49:21.972
sleeping on the bed next to me.

00:49:21.972 --> 00:49:23.432
She's a stone cold dyke.

00:49:23.432 --> 00:49:25.697
A fucking untouchable, 
unaffable, unattainable

00:49:25.697 --> 00:49:27.419
brick wall fucking dykossaurus rex.

00:49:27.419 --> 00:49:28.729
(mocking) Eugh…eugh…

00:49:28.729 --> 00:49:32.475
And after enough complaining, 
Ricki starts doing deeds with him.

00:49:32.475 --> 00:49:35.379
It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,

00:49:35.379 --> 00:49:37.953
but in the hypothetical scenario

00:49:37.953 --> 00:49:41.856
where for some reason 
a lesbian had sex with a guy

00:49:41.856 --> 00:49:43.291
it would not be with this guy.

00:49:45.921 --> 00:49:48.378
He's always like 
licking his teeth and shit.

00:49:51.448 --> 00:49:54.459
But luckily there's not just 
lesbian cringe,

00:49:54.689 --> 00:49:56.837
This ain't fucking 
lesbian talk circle time!

00:49:56.837 --> 00:49:59.296
There's also plenty of 
heterosexual cringe.

00:49:59.786 --> 00:50:00.972
God bless you penis.

00:50:00.972 --> 00:50:02.423
And gay cringe.

00:50:02.423 --> 00:50:03.309
I'm not gay!

00:50:03.309 --> 00:50:07.255
Despite this movie literally 
being about mobsters,

00:50:07.255 --> 00:50:12.850
nothing mobster-related really happens 
in this movie until the last 30 minutes

00:50:12.850 --> 00:50:15.457
where for some reason Al Pacino is here.

00:50:15.457 --> 00:50:17.236
You piece of shit!

00:50:17.236 --> 00:50:20.232
I'm sure this is Al Pacino's
favorite role of all time

00:50:20.232 --> 00:50:22.040
right up there next to Jack and Jill.

00:50:22.040 --> 00:50:25.268
Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, 
we got em.

00:50:25.268 --> 00:50:25.985
Ho!

00:50:26.294 --> 00:50:27.070
- Ho!

00:50:27.950 --> 00:50:29.454
But to give it to you straight,

00:50:29.454 --> 00:50:33.594
the movie ends with 
Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid

00:50:33.594 --> 00:50:37.877
on a random beach 
with the cast of Baywatch.

00:50:37.877 --> 00:50:42.322
And it's literally played out like it's 
supposed to be this inspirational thing.

00:50:42.322 --> 00:50:44.314
Like a tearjerker or something.

00:50:44.314 --> 00:50:52.147
(inspirational music)

00:50:52.147 --> 00:50:55.351
Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki 
ride off into the sunset

00:50:55.351 --> 00:50:58.415
just as she's telling him 
that he should wear some makeup.

00:50:58.625 --> 00:51:01.625
You know I bet 
you'd look awesome in some mascara.

00:51:01.625 --> 00:51:03.232
Do not watch this movie.

00:51:03.232 --> 00:51:05.278
You will get a UTI.

00:51:05.278 --> 00:51:06.494
Or that other thing.

00:51:15.298 --> 00:51:18.464
[Evasive] Ok first of all,
this movie is Catwoman in name only.

00:51:18.464 --> 00:51:20.542
Despite being a DC comics movie,

00:51:20.542 --> 00:51:23.003
the Catwoman of this movie 
has nothing to do

00:51:23.003 --> 00:51:24.504
with the Catwoman from Batman.

00:51:24.504 --> 00:51:26.217
This character has a different name

00:51:26.217 --> 00:51:27.715
lives in a different city

00:51:27.715 --> 00:51:31.637
and gets her cat superpowers from 
a magic cat burping in her mouth.

00:51:31.637 --> 00:51:35.681
It's just so stupid, 
it's actually really fun to watch.

00:51:35.681 --> 00:51:38.690
Especially the CGI Halle Berry 
during the action scenes.

00:51:38.690 --> 00:51:40.019
It's so funny.

00:51:40.019 --> 00:51:42.069
As you might expect this movie bombed hard

00:51:42.069 --> 00:51:45.760
probably because they put it in theaters
around the same time as Spiderman 2.

00:51:45.760 --> 00:51:49.550
(laughing)

00:51:50.175 --> 00:51:51.867
(laughing)

00:51:51.867 --> 00:51:54.036
It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now

00:51:54.036 --> 00:51:57.160
and the director Pitof was 
basically laughed out of Hollywood

00:51:57.160 --> 00:51:58.831
and never directed a movie again.

00:51:58.831 --> 00:52:01.123
But Halle Berry embraced 
this movie was a flop

00:52:01.123 --> 00:52:03.920
and even showed up in person
to accept her Razzie award.

00:52:03.920 --> 00:52:05.852
First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.

00:52:05.852 --> 00:52:07.629
(crowd laughing)

00:52:07.629 --> 00:52:11.452
Thank you for putting me in 
a piece of shit god-awful movie.

00:52:11.452 --> 00:52:16.676
(crowd laughing, cheering)

00:52:16.676 --> 00:52:17.586
(Berry cheering)

00:52:24.063 --> 00:52:25.328
Dirty love is a…

00:52:26.498 --> 00:52:27.576
"comedy",

00:52:27.576 --> 00:52:29.410
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,

00:52:29.410 --> 00:52:33.198
notorious anti-vaxxer and 
Masked Singer judge, Jenny McCarthy.

00:52:33.198 --> 00:52:37.145
She stars as a woman who gets dumped 
by her boyfriend and her life falls apart.

00:52:37.145 --> 00:52:40.248
It's really unhinged 
but not in a funny kind of way.

00:52:40.248 --> 00:52:44.043
More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and 
I wanna leave the room," kind of way.

00:52:44.043 --> 00:52:46.633
I had a hard time 
finding clips of this movie online

00:52:46.633 --> 00:52:49.030
because it's pretty obscure 
and nobody likes it.

00:52:49.030 --> 00:52:51.941
It's mostly badly delivered jokes 
and gross out humor

00:52:51.941 --> 00:52:53.646
with a feminine spin.

00:52:53.646 --> 00:52:56.973
And by feminine spin
I, of course, mean period jokes

00:52:56.973 --> 00:52:59.349
Like this scene where 
a bleeding Jenny McCarthy

00:52:59.349 --> 00:53:01.904
goes to the grocery in a white skirt
and no underwear

00:53:01.904 --> 00:53:03.670
and almost bleeds out on the floor.

00:53:03.670 --> 00:53:05.726
You know, relatable comedy for women.

00:53:05.726 --> 00:53:07.083
Just girly things.

00:53:07.083 --> 00:53:09.166
Hashtag just girly things.

00:53:09.166 --> 00:53:10.360
Just girly things.

00:53:10.360 --> 00:53:13.365
It's a girly thing,
so you wouldn't understand, boys.

00:53:13.365 --> 00:53:14.867
It's a girly thing.

00:53:14.867 --> 00:53:16.953
Hashtag just girly things.

00:53:16.953 --> 00:53:19.902
It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.

00:53:19.902 --> 00:53:22.940
(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.

00:53:30.978 --> 00:53:33.262
So this is a sequel to Basic Instinct,

00:53:33.262 --> 00:53:35.917
an erotic murder mystery thriller 
from the early 90s

00:53:35.917 --> 00:53:37.986
that's maybe best remembered 
for this scene

00:53:37.986 --> 00:53:40.331
where Newman from Seinfeld 
sees Sharon Stone's

00:53:40.331 --> 00:53:42.950
bare, uncensored pussy 
in an interrogation room.

00:53:42.950 --> 00:53:45.641
The original was nominated 
for a few Razzies in its day

00:53:45.641 --> 00:53:47.527
but it was a massive box office hit

00:53:47.527 --> 00:53:50.498
and is today remembered as 
a pretty solid neo-noir thriller.

00:53:50.498 --> 00:53:53.335
Now, Basic Instinct 2, on the other hand,
only exists

00:53:53.335 --> 00:53:56.948
because Sharon Stone was promised
14 million dollars to star in the movie.

00:53:56.948 --> 00:53:58.818
When the producers tried to cancel it,

00:53:58.818 --> 00:54:00.831
she sued them to force them to make it.

00:54:00.831 --> 00:54:02.432
Don't take it so hard.

00:54:02.762 --> 00:54:05.379
Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.

00:54:05.379 --> 00:54:08.775
It's hard to talk about this movie
without spoiling the original a bit.

00:54:08.775 --> 00:54:11.376
But I will say that overall
I didn't hate this movie.

00:54:11.376 --> 00:54:15.454
But I also barely remember the plot 
and I only saw it a couple of months ago.

00:54:15.454 --> 00:54:19.454
It rehashes a lot of the same story beats 
and plot points as the original,

00:54:19.454 --> 00:54:20.488
just not as good.

00:54:20.488 --> 00:54:22.600
Would I call it a terrible movie?

00:54:22.600 --> 00:54:23.935
No, not really.

00:54:23.935 --> 00:54:26.820
Compared to the original,
it's pretty bland and forgettable.

00:54:26.820 --> 00:54:30.770
But that's what happens when you make 
a movie just to avoid a massive lawsuit.

00:54:30.770 --> 00:54:33.697
Gotta love showbiz, baby.

00:54:42.955 --> 00:54:46.041
I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie 
starring Lindsay Lohan

00:54:46.041 --> 00:54:48.212
as a girl who is kidnapped 
by a serial killer

00:54:48.212 --> 00:54:51.463
but survives and wakes up in the hospital 
saying she's someone else.

00:54:51.463 --> 00:54:54.789
This movie was released in July 27, 2007

00:54:54.789 --> 00:54:57.715
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy 
about Lindsay Lohan

00:54:57.715 --> 00:55:00.061
and her struggles with 
alcohol and drug addiction.

00:55:00.061 --> 00:55:02.808
There was a lot of attention on it
while it was filming.

00:55:02.808 --> 00:55:05.929
Especially because Lohan 
checked into rehab for the first time

00:55:05.929 --> 00:55:07.119
a month into production.

00:55:07.119 --> 00:55:09.274
The film set was so swarmed with paparazzi

00:55:09.274 --> 00:55:12.302
that sometimes in the movie,
some were in the background.

00:55:12.302 --> 00:55:14.302
Then a couple months
after filming wrapped,

00:55:14.302 --> 00:55:16.152
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.

00:55:16.152 --> 00:55:19.368
Then on July 24th, just three days 
before the movie was released,

00:55:19.368 --> 00:55:21.896
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again

00:55:21.896 --> 00:55:23.508
and couldn't attend the premiere.

00:55:23.508 --> 00:55:26.120
All of this negative media attention
made Lindsay Lohan

00:55:26.120 --> 00:55:27.872
enemy number one in Hollywood.

00:55:27.872 --> 00:55:29.635
Critics eviscerated this movie.

00:55:29.635 --> 00:55:31.380
But in a year since its release,

00:55:31.380 --> 00:55:34.380
this film has kind of become
a cult classic with horror movie fans.

00:55:34.380 --> 00:55:37.523
It's been screened in theaters
many times over the last decade.

00:55:37.523 --> 00:55:40.442
I've seen a lot of people online
compare it to giallo movies,

00:55:40.442 --> 00:55:43.560
an Italian film genre
popular in the 60s and 70s

00:55:43.560 --> 00:55:46.856
that mixed elements of murder movies, 
slashers, and erotica.

00:55:46.856 --> 00:55:49.325
The influence of giallo is
definitely present here.

00:55:49.325 --> 00:55:51.270
It's a stylish weird thriller

00:55:51.270 --> 00:55:54.149
and Lohan's background made her
kind of perfect for the role

00:55:54.149 --> 00:55:57.904
as the main character quickly transforms 
from a sweet high school girl

00:55:57.904 --> 00:56:00.571
into a deeply traumatized woman 
with a robotic hand.

00:56:00.571 --> 00:56:03.503
It's definitely not for everyone, 
myself included,

00:56:03.503 --> 00:56:05.595
but if you're into 
weird gory horror movies,

00:56:05.595 --> 00:56:07.139
there's a lot to vibe with here.

00:56:07.139 --> 00:56:09.349
It's much better than Norbit,
that's for sure.

00:56:09.349 --> 00:56:10.759
Have you ever seen Norbit?

00:56:11.005 --> 00:56:13.655
Ooh!

00:56:13.655 --> 00:56:15.356
Ah! Bitches!

00:56:15.356 --> 00:56:18.866
(screaming)

00:56:19.331 --> 00:56:21.121
(screaming)

00:56:30.146 --> 00:56:31.625
The Love Guru is a movie

00:56:31.625 --> 00:56:34.480
written by, produced by, 
and starring Mike Meyers

00:56:34.480 --> 00:56:36.272
that's mostly remembered as the movie

00:56:36.272 --> 00:56:37.845
that completely tanked his career

00:56:37.845 --> 00:56:40.613
and caused him to step away 
from Hollywood for 8 years.

00:56:40.613 --> 00:56:43.282
Critics and audiences both hated it.

00:56:43.282 --> 00:56:44.382
With critics calling it

00:56:44.382 --> 00:56:47.802
lazy, immature, mindless, 
pitiable, insulting, painful,

00:56:47.802 --> 00:56:50.390
gross, contemptuous, 
racist, and unlikable,

00:56:50.390 --> 00:56:51.873
among many other things.

00:56:51.873 --> 00:56:53.794
But don't take their word for it.

00:56:53.794 --> 00:56:55.168
Take my word for it.

00:56:57.318 --> 00:56:59.849
I don't have any other words for it,
that sums it up.

00:56:59.849 --> 00:57:01.503
This scene was in the trailer.

00:57:01.503 --> 00:57:03.317
Woah! How did you get there?

00:57:03.317 --> 00:57:04.887
(groans)

00:57:05.245 --> 00:57:07.289
This little guy scared the crap out of me.

00:57:07.289 --> 00:57:08.879
I might have to do a panty check,

00:57:08.879 --> 00:57:10.890
might have some monkey mustard back there.

00:57:10.890 --> 00:57:12.132
Who is this prick?

00:57:12.132 --> 00:57:12.832
Shh.

00:57:13.080 --> 00:57:16.020
Man, how do you do? Shrimp?

00:57:16.860 --> 00:57:18.522
What did you call me, jagomoe?

00:57:18.668 --> 00:57:20.947
I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!

00:57:22.450 --> 00:57:23.757
You are a midget.

00:57:23.757 --> 00:57:26.201
The plot of this movie is Mike Myers

00:57:26.201 --> 00:57:29.076
plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka

00:57:29.076 --> 00:57:30.507
who was raised in India

00:57:30.507 --> 00:57:31.870
wears a chastity belt

00:57:31.870 --> 00:57:33.518
and dreams of being on Oprah.

00:57:33.518 --> 00:57:35.332
He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves

00:57:35.332 --> 00:57:38.063
to help their star player 
get back together with his wife

00:57:38.063 --> 00:57:39.433
because he is the Love Guru

00:57:39.433 --> 00:57:41.551
and only he can save their marriage.

00:57:41.551 --> 00:57:43.283
It's basically a one note movie

00:57:43.283 --> 00:57:45.787
that feels like it was written 
by a 10 year old boy.

00:57:45.787 --> 00:57:47.528
Every scene goes on for too long,

00:57:47.528 --> 00:57:49.686
Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes

00:57:49.686 --> 00:57:51.413
and pretty much every line is about

00:57:51.413 --> 00:57:53.559
poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,

00:57:53.559 --> 00:57:56.065
with many of the characters' names 
being dick jokes.

00:57:56.065 --> 00:57:57.814
We got Tugginmypudha,

00:57:57.814 --> 00:57:59.607
coach Cherkov,

00:57:59.607 --> 00:58:00.556
Le Coq,

00:58:00.556 --> 00:58:01.942
Dick Pants,

00:58:01.942 --> 00:58:05.485
(Evasive laughing)

00:58:05.485 --> 00:58:08.199
It's not funny that John Oliver 
is named Dick Pants.

00:58:08.199 --> 00:58:09.289
(laughing)

00:58:09.289 --> 00:58:11.899
[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)

00:58:18.347 --> 00:58:20.407
(Evasive)
Ok, I'll be the first to say that

00:58:20.407 --> 00:58:23.729
I don't think any of the 
Transformers movies are particularly good.

00:58:23.729 --> 00:58:24.546
That being said,

00:58:24.546 --> 00:58:27.680
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
is definitely the worst one,

00:58:27.680 --> 00:58:30.585
if only for how offensive 
and annoying it is.

00:58:30.585 --> 00:58:33.158
Pretty much every Transformer
introduced in this movie

00:58:33.158 --> 00:58:34.997
either talks with a racist accent,

00:58:34.997 --> 00:58:37.646
or the most annoying 
cartoon voice imaginable.

00:58:37.646 --> 00:58:39.715
And when it isn't being 
annoying or racist,

00:58:39.715 --> 00:58:41.197
it's doing shit like this.

00:58:41.197 --> 00:58:44.771
Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…
Say my name…hah…hah…

00:58:44.771 --> 00:58:46.876
What are you allowing
to happen to your foot?

00:58:46.876 --> 00:58:48.238
At least he's faithful, Sam.

00:58:48.238 --> 00:58:51.090
Yeah, well, he's faithful,
and he's nude and he's perverted.

00:58:51.090 --> 00:58:52.472
Hah…hah…hah…

00:58:56.762 --> 00:58:58.842
(sighs)

00:58:58.806 --> 00:59:02.229
Like is it any wonder 
Megan Fox quit the series after this?

00:59:02.229 --> 00:59:06.164
Sadly this movie
ended up making 836 million dollars

00:59:06.164 --> 00:59:09.975
which was about 100 million more dollars 
than Up made that same year.

00:59:11.465 --> 00:59:14.296
- This is giving me a heart attack.
- 'Cause you was a wuss.

00:59:14.296 --> 00:59:16.018
You forced me into that car, right?

00:59:16.018 --> 00:59:17.117
Oh I think he scared.

00:59:17.117 --> 00:59:19.662
Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do
with this shrimp taco?

00:59:19.662 --> 00:59:23.335
Lemme pop a cap in his ass, throw him
in the truck, nobody gonna know nothing.

00:59:27.380 --> 00:59:30.115
Why don't you get a haircut 
with your bitch ass?

00:59:36.918 --> 00:59:38.697
What can I even say about this movie

00:59:38.697 --> 00:59:40.963
that hasn't been said 
a thousand times already?

00:59:40.963 --> 00:59:44.104
This live action trashfire 
directed by M. Night Shyamalan

00:59:44.104 --> 00:59:47.695
attempted to condense the first season 
of an amazing animated TV show

00:59:47.695 --> 00:59:50.261
into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.

00:59:50.261 --> 00:59:51.724
Maybe if you watch this,

00:59:51.724 --> 00:59:53.698
having never seen the original series,

00:59:53.698 --> 00:59:56.833
it's just another lame 
Hollywood fantasy action movie.

00:59:56.833 --> 00:59:59.729
But for fans of the series, 
this was offensively bad.

00:59:59.729 --> 01:00:00.909
The creators of the show

01:00:00.909 --> 01:00:03.868
were not allowed to give any input 
on the movie's development.

01:00:03.868 --> 01:00:06.690
Beloved characters were made 
one-dimensional and pointless,

01:00:06.690 --> 01:00:08.780
major plot points were skipped over,

01:00:08.780 --> 01:00:10.951
characters' names are pronounced wrong.

01:00:10.951 --> 01:00:12.665
How do you even screw that up?

01:00:12.665 --> 01:00:14.130
This movie made a lot of money

01:00:14.130 --> 01:00:15.787
but was so hated by audiences

01:00:15.787 --> 01:00:18.763
that Paramount must have known 
they couldn't fool people twice

01:00:18.763 --> 01:00:21.164
and cancelled plans 
to adapt the other 2 seasons,

01:00:21.164 --> 01:00:25.164
effectively sinking the career of the kid 
who played Aang before it even began.

01:00:25.164 --> 01:00:26.108
It's just sad.

01:00:26.108 --> 01:00:29.018
The whole movie is 
a sad waste of source material.

01:00:29.018 --> 01:00:32.816
You'd probably have a better time 
playing the official Wii game

01:00:32.816 --> 01:00:34.219
than watching this movie.

01:00:34.219 --> 01:00:40.771
(vaguely Asian music)
(wheels skidding)

01:00:40.771 --> 01:00:42.111
(Evasive) Ok, maybe not.

01:00:49.038 --> 01:01:06.415
(dramatic, haunting piano)

01:01:14.768 --> 01:01:16.778
Alright, Razzies, respectfully,

01:01:17.448 --> 01:01:18.349
what the fuck?

01:01:18.349 --> 01:01:21.040
I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,

01:01:21.040 --> 01:01:24.373
I never read the books and
I didn't watch the movies until recently,

01:01:24.373 --> 01:01:27.150
but even I know that 
the last movie in the Twilight series

01:01:27.150 --> 01:01:28.482
isn't that bad a movie.

01:01:28.482 --> 01:01:31.534
It's ridiculous, sure, 
but out of all the movies in this series,

01:01:31.534 --> 01:01:35.129
it's the most interesting and 
exciting entry aside from the first one.

01:01:35.129 --> 01:01:38.702
Obviously they gave it Worst Picture 
as a sort of dig at the entire series,

01:01:38.702 --> 01:01:40.851
since others hadn't won 
Worst Picture before,

01:01:40.851 --> 01:01:41.748
but come on.

01:01:41.748 --> 01:01:43.863
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.

01:01:43.863 --> 01:01:46.042
It's got a big fight scene 
on a frozen lake,

01:01:46.042 --> 01:01:47.963
it's got a girl named Renesmee,

01:01:47.963 --> 01:01:52.635
it concludes one of the most iconic
and stupid blockbuster series of all time.

01:01:52.635 --> 01:01:54.405
It's so entertaining and over the top

01:01:54.405 --> 01:01:56.849
even if you hate Twilight
and everything about it,

01:01:56.849 --> 01:01:59.830
you can't tell me this is worse
than the Adam Sandler movie

01:01:59.830 --> 01:02:02.517
where he shows a 13 year old 
impregnating his teacher.

01:02:03.568 --> 01:02:04.708
You can't tell me that.

01:02:05.483 --> 01:02:06.644
Because you'd be wrong.

01:02:15.280 --> 01:02:16.614
Let me start this one off by

01:02:16.614 --> 01:02:19.739
showing you the list of people 
who were involved in this movie.

01:02:20.776 --> 01:02:22.160
That's not even all of them.

01:02:22.160 --> 01:02:25.163
Movie 43 is a compilation of 
raunchy comedy sketches

01:02:25.163 --> 01:02:26.874
each directed by different people.

01:02:26.874 --> 01:02:29.907
Made on an impossibly cheap budget 
of 6 million dollars,

01:02:29.907 --> 01:02:32.073
this thing took 3 whole years to film

01:02:32.073 --> 01:02:34.593
because the producers 
worked around actors' schedules

01:02:34.593 --> 01:02:37.356
to maximize how many famous people 
could show up in this.

01:02:37.356 --> 01:02:41.565
The sketches themselves are a relentless
onslaught of dirty shock humor.

01:02:41.565 --> 01:02:44.254
There's one where Hugh Jackman
has balls on his face.

01:02:44.254 --> 01:02:47.561
There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz 
spills period blood on the wall.

01:02:47.561 --> 01:02:50.273
There's one where a horny cat 
pisses on Elizabeth Banks.

01:02:50.273 --> 01:02:54.290
There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to
leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.

01:02:54.290 --> 01:02:57.699
My personal favorite was the one
where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt

01:02:57.699 --> 01:02:59.115
to poop on her during sex.

01:02:59.115 --> 01:03:00.782
- So he takes some—
- Poop Viagra.

01:03:00.782 --> 01:03:01.992
And then gets hit by car.

01:03:01.992 --> 01:03:03.453
I love you, I wanna marry you.

01:03:05.929 --> 01:03:07.575
Oh my god. Doug, no!

01:03:07.575 --> 01:03:08.915
If you're feeling sadistic,

01:03:08.915 --> 01:03:11.601
throw this on at your 
next bad movie night with friends.

01:03:11.601 --> 01:03:13.607
It's got a little something for everyone.

01:03:13.607 --> 01:03:16.012
I don't know what the hell 
Movie 43 even means.

01:03:16.012 --> 01:03:19.395
But I'm in Movie 43, 
maybe I'm in Movie 44. I don't know.

01:03:28.935 --> 01:03:32.251
So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron 
was a child actor in the 80s

01:03:32.251 --> 01:03:35.049
who took a hard right turn 
into Evangelical Christianity

01:03:35.049 --> 01:03:37.008
and has since appeared almost exclusively

01:03:37.008 --> 01:03:39.493
in low-budget Christian movies
and radio programs.

01:03:39.610 --> 01:03:42.952
Today, he's mostly known 
for his inflammatory publicity stunts

01:03:42.952 --> 01:03:47.074
Like in 2020, when he organized 
mask-less Christmas caroling events in LA

01:03:47.074 --> 01:03:48.954
to protest COVID restrictions,

01:03:48.954 --> 01:03:51.878
which he called 
"communism disguised as public health".

01:03:51.878 --> 01:03:52.846
You know the type.

01:03:52.846 --> 01:03:53.807
He's a nutcase,

01:03:53.807 --> 01:03:57.141
and his movie had been dunked on 
a hundred times by YouTubers already

01:03:57.141 --> 01:04:00.334
because for a while, 
this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,

01:04:00.334 --> 01:04:02.940
with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.

01:04:02.940 --> 01:04:06.101
Which he claimed was the result
of atheist conspiracy on Reddit.

01:04:06.101 --> 01:04:08.447
The whole movie takes place in one house

01:04:08.447 --> 01:04:11.650
and almost every scene is 
him using weird circular reasoning

01:04:11.650 --> 01:04:14.288
to explain how 
non-Christian Christmas traditions

01:04:14.288 --> 01:04:16.162
had actually been Christian all along.

01:04:16.162 --> 01:04:18.176
Like how Christmas trees were God's idea

01:04:18.176 --> 01:04:19.983
because God created trees.

01:04:19.983 --> 01:04:22.514
Or how the holiday 
isn't actually materialistic

01:04:22.514 --> 01:04:24.159
because the ability to buy gifts

01:04:24.159 --> 01:04:26.185
is God's gift to humanity.

01:04:26.185 --> 01:04:27.386
It's just boring.

01:04:27.386 --> 01:04:29.929
It's a very boring movie 
where nothing happens,

01:04:29.929 --> 01:04:31.998
everyone is just sitting
or standing around

01:04:31.998 --> 01:04:32.961
not doing anything.

01:04:32.961 --> 01:04:35.012
The only remotely entertaining part

01:04:35.012 --> 01:04:37.355
is when the extras have a 
dance party at the end.

01:04:37.355 --> 01:05:04.856
♫ (Angels we have heard on high
dance remix) ♫

01:05:12.058 --> 01:05:16.462
Fan-four-stic is a classic case of
too many people in the same movie.

01:05:16.462 --> 01:05:18.278
The writers disagreed on everything.

01:05:18.278 --> 01:05:20.996
The director Josh Trank 
slept with a loaded gun on him

01:05:20.996 --> 01:05:23.841
because he got death threats 
for casting Michael B. Jordan.

01:05:23.841 --> 01:05:26.371
Fox executives had whole scenes cut out

01:05:26.371 --> 01:05:28.906
and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval

01:05:28.906 --> 01:05:31.110
because they thought 
his version was too dark.

01:05:31.110 --> 01:05:33.592
Trank also put out a tweet
before the movie came out

01:05:33.592 --> 01:05:34.784
basically disowning it.

01:05:34.784 --> 01:05:36.217
The end result of all of this

01:05:36.217 --> 01:05:38.333
was an ugly, boring mess of a movie

01:05:38.333 --> 01:05:41.134
where there's no real stakes 
or tension anywhere.

01:05:41.134 --> 01:05:44.125
They don't become superheroes
until halfway thru the movie

01:05:44.125 --> 01:05:47.133
Mostly they're standing around,
talking and not doing anything.

01:05:47.133 --> 01:05:49.208
You can see 
the remnants of a decent movie,

01:05:49.208 --> 01:05:53.051
like here where Miles Teller wakes up 
on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.

01:05:53.051 --> 01:05:56.636
But we'll never know what the movie was
supposed to be because nobody cares.

01:05:56.636 --> 01:05:59.944
There's nobody out there saying
hashtag release the Trank cut.

01:05:59.944 --> 01:06:03.467
I want them to go see…uh…uh…
just a really really great movie.

01:06:03.637 --> 01:06:08.015
Uh…something that is…uh…
different from…uh…

01:06:08.305 --> 01:06:13.311
Dr. Doom is the…top 5
greatest characters

01:06:13.311 --> 01:06:16.248
that ever come off of a comic book

01:06:16.248 --> 01:06:17.585
…uh…you know…panel.

01:06:17.585 --> 01:06:22.601
Science is really cool and…this is 
something that I think, you know

01:06:22.601 --> 01:06:24.656
Uh…hopefully…umm…

01:06:34.464 --> 01:06:36.010
So 2015 was another tie

01:06:36.010 --> 01:06:39.276
with Fifty Shades of Grey 
also being awarded Worst Picture.

01:06:39.276 --> 01:06:41.049
This is another movie 
where I'm like,

01:06:41.049 --> 01:06:44.477
what can I possibly say about this 
that hasn't been said already?

01:06:44.477 --> 01:06:48.127
It's based on an erotic novel
that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,

01:06:48.127 --> 01:06:49.894
the stars have no chemistry

01:06:49.894 --> 01:06:52.348
and nothing about their relationship
is believable.

01:06:52.348 --> 01:06:54.745
The movie spawned that
Love Me Like You Do song

01:06:54.745 --> 01:06:57.661
that's haunted retail workers 
for almost a decade now.

01:06:57.661 --> 01:06:59.244
It's just a bad movie.

01:06:59.244 --> 01:07:02.144
It's boring and bad and 
it made over 500 million dollars

01:07:02.144 --> 01:07:05.611
so rather than repeat the same things
a hundred other YouTubers have said

01:07:05.611 --> 01:07:07.869
I'll just leave you 
with a little mental image.

01:07:07.869 --> 01:07:11.031
See, this movie came out 
on Valentine's Day 2015.

01:07:11.363 --> 01:07:14.328
I want you to imagine 
all the thousands of couples

01:07:14.328 --> 01:07:16.329
who went to see this on Valentine's Day.

01:07:16.613 --> 01:07:18.792
I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg

01:07:18.792 --> 01:07:20.135
from Sugar Land, Texas

01:07:20.135 --> 01:07:23.021
who went to see this 
at the local AMC on Valentine's Day.

01:07:23.731 --> 01:07:26.591
I want you to visualize Kayllynn 
giving Greg a dry handjob

01:07:26.591 --> 01:07:29.176
in the back of the theater, 
40 minutes into the movie.

01:07:29.315 --> 01:07:31.503
Visualize them going to Applebees after

01:07:31.503 --> 01:07:33.412
to eat a slightly burnt chicken breast

01:07:33.412 --> 01:07:34.934
and some unseasoned broccoli.

01:07:35.394 --> 01:07:36.591
I want you to visualize—

01:07:45.801 --> 01:07:47.164
If you don't know already,

01:07:47.164 --> 01:07:49.797
Dinesh D'Souza 
is a far-right political commentator

01:07:49.797 --> 01:07:53.331
who's been releasing propaganda films 
every year since 2012.

01:07:53.331 --> 01:07:56.481
He also pleaded guilty to 
campaign finance fraud in 2014

01:07:56.481 --> 01:07:58.548
and was sentenced to 5 years probation.

01:07:58.548 --> 01:07:59.958
During which, he made

01:07:59.958 --> 01:08:03.031
Hillary's America: The Secret History 
of the Democratic Party.

01:08:03.031 --> 01:08:05.232
Released in the summer of 2016,

01:08:05.232 --> 01:08:08.181
Hillary's America is a movie 
that claims it's a documentary

01:08:08.181 --> 01:08:11.364
but aside from a few news clips 
and scripted-sounding interviews,

01:08:11.364 --> 01:08:13.856
much of the movie is 
either historical reenactments

01:08:13.856 --> 01:08:16.323
or D'Souza talking to terrible actors

01:08:16.323 --> 01:08:18.772
and trying to pass it off 
as documentary footage.

01:08:18.772 --> 01:08:21.673
The movie opens with
D'Souza being sentenced for fraud

01:08:21.673 --> 01:08:24.572
which he claims was
a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up

01:08:24.572 --> 01:08:26.140
and from there he goes to prison

01:08:26.140 --> 01:08:29.239
and starts interviewing other prisoners 
about how gangs work

01:08:29.239 --> 01:08:31.346
You know, gangs are
all about stealing, man.

01:08:31.486 --> 01:08:32.650
What's the biggest gang?

01:08:33.101 --> 01:08:34.088
Right in your face.

01:08:34.518 --> 01:08:35.624
Politicians, man.

01:08:36.907 --> 01:08:40.270
- How does a gang make money?
- Any way they can, you know?

01:08:40.651 --> 01:08:43.104
Trafficking, smuggling,
stealing, extortion,

01:08:43.104 --> 01:08:44.795
Yeah, but how do they pull it off?

01:08:44.795 --> 01:08:47.649
Later on, he visits 
the Democratic National Headquarters

01:08:47.649 --> 01:08:50.270
and it's all done up 
to look like a high-tech museum

01:08:50.270 --> 01:08:52.235
for the glory of the Democratic Party.

01:08:52.235 --> 01:08:54.902
Then he sneaks into 
the restricted part of the building

01:08:54.902 --> 01:08:57.235
and breaks into the secret archives

01:08:57.235 --> 01:08:59.720
to reveal the secret information

01:08:59.720 --> 01:09:03.435
that is literally in the curriculum 
in 8th Grade US History.

01:09:03.435 --> 01:09:05.483
Like, "Hey guys, did you know that

01:09:05.483 --> 01:09:08.689
most of the slave owners in the Civil War
were Democrats?

01:09:08.689 --> 01:09:12.904
Wow, isn't that crazy? 
How come nobody's talking about this?"

01:09:12.904 --> 01:09:14.580
The sad truth is this movie

01:09:14.580 --> 01:09:17.793
sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets 
when it came out.

01:09:17.793 --> 01:09:21.269
Which means that hundreds of thousands 
of very gullible Americans

01:09:21.269 --> 01:09:22.375
saw this in theaters.

01:09:22.375 --> 01:09:25.397
And many probably dragged 
their impressionable kids

01:09:25.397 --> 01:09:29.215
when all they wanted to do was play 
the new Pokémon Go that just came out.

01:09:29.545 --> 01:09:31.378
It's depressing to think about.

01:09:31.378 --> 01:09:33.066
2016 was a very dark time.

01:09:33.066 --> 01:09:38.234
But I try to figure out how we get them 
to have Pokémon Go to the polls.

01:09:38.234 --> 01:09:40.605
(cheering)

NOTE Paragraph

01:09:47.399 --> 01:09:50.193
Hey guys, I'm sorry, 
I can't talk about the Emoji Movie.

01:09:50.193 --> 01:09:55.231
You see, on a hot summer day in 2017, 
I actually saw The Emoji Movie in theaters

01:09:55.231 --> 01:09:57.747
in a room full of screaming, 
sugared up children.

01:09:57.747 --> 01:10:01.547
If you think this movie looks bad enough 
on its own, watch it completely sober

01:10:01.547 --> 01:10:04.247
while a 7 year old kicks your chair
the whole time.

01:10:04.247 --> 01:10:06.814
I just can't relive 
the trauma of that day again.

01:10:07.545 --> 01:10:09.549
So I pass this one off 
to the trash guy.

01:10:09.595 --> 01:10:14.091
Young Junko. 
He was the best lawyer who ever lived.

01:10:14.521 --> 01:10:17.802
But decidingly the hammer of justice
made him his walnut.

01:10:18.316 --> 01:10:20.055
And under the pressure, 
he cracked.

01:10:20.636 --> 01:10:22.835
By his side, he had only left this note.

01:10:23.569 --> 01:10:27.601
Sad face, cry face, trash can, 
water gun, squirt, sad face.

01:10:27.985 --> 01:10:31.051
Watch the Emoji Movie in theaters
for more info.

01:10:31.453 --> 01:10:35.765
Emoji Movie is the cinematic equivalent 
of seeing an ad for Cricket Wireless

01:10:35.765 --> 01:10:36.998
on the side of the bus.

01:10:36.998 --> 01:10:38.402
It's the same artistic merit.

01:10:38.402 --> 01:10:40.000
It's hard to look at it without

01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:42.701
thinking of the evolution of 
3D animation as a craft

01:10:42.701 --> 01:10:45.702
in the last 4 years, 
how the medium improved over time,

01:10:45.702 --> 01:10:49.668
not just in fidelity, but the heartfelt 
boundary-pushing storytelling

01:10:49.668 --> 01:10:52.513
that made animated characters 
come across as more tangible.

01:10:52.513 --> 01:10:55.336
And exploring the worlds 
they inhabited in a surreal way,

01:10:55.336 --> 01:10:59.152
and all that led to this, 
a movie about emojis.

01:10:59.852 --> 01:11:01.378
On a kid's cell phone.

01:11:01.554 --> 01:11:03.661
It's so impersonal, 
it's not like Toy Story,

01:11:03.661 --> 01:11:06.067
where Andy and the Toys 
have a clear relationship.

01:11:06.067 --> 01:11:10.067
In Emoji Land, you get scanned whenever 
the kid picks you for the text message.

01:11:10.067 --> 01:11:12.560
Like why is this kid 
only texting in emojis?

01:11:12.560 --> 01:11:14.477
He's like a little man slut.

01:11:14.477 --> 01:11:18.772
The whole plot being, he wants to
text a girl in his class, and that's it.

01:11:18.772 --> 01:11:23.129
He has no connection to these characters,
they're just a button on his phone.

01:11:23.129 --> 01:11:24.127
It's so pointless.

01:11:24.127 --> 01:11:26.411
The world's not interesting at all.

01:11:26.411 --> 01:11:29.677
The main character, Gene, 
is supposed to be the Meh emoji,

01:11:29.677 --> 01:11:32.909
but he's malfunctioning, 
so he goes on a quest with Hand Emoji

01:11:32.909 --> 01:11:36.779
and Jailbreak, an elite 
emo hacker girl emoji with blue hair

01:11:36.779 --> 01:11:39.909
who can access the cloud 
and see all the Rule 34 of herself

01:11:39.909 --> 01:11:41.056
made over the years.

01:11:41.182 --> 01:11:42.637
- Oh!
- [Hand] Suck it in!

01:11:42.637 --> 01:11:43.452
No, stop it!

01:11:43.452 --> 01:11:45.472
[Junko] It's a movie made specifically for

01:11:45.472 --> 01:11:48.406
loud drunk parents circa 2017 
to take their iPad kids to

01:11:48.406 --> 01:11:52.039
so they run around, pick their ass while
they shove ads up their eyeballs

01:11:52.039 --> 01:11:54.605
You've got whole scenes 
explaining Candy Crush,

01:11:54.605 --> 01:11:57.655
Just Dance, and Spotify.

01:11:57.655 --> 01:12:01.406
It's as shameless and corporate 
as an animated movie could possibly be.

01:12:01.406 --> 01:12:04.146
I'm sure some belligerently wasted parent 
in the theater

01:12:04.146 --> 01:12:07.536
howled with laughter when James Corden, 
Hand Emoji, said "Bye Felicia."

01:12:07.536 --> 01:12:08.556
- Bye Felicia!

01:12:08.556 --> 01:12:11.356
I wouldn't know, 
because the first time I saw Emoji Movie

01:12:11.356 --> 01:12:13.389
was at 2 AM on a hacked Amazon Fire Stick

01:12:13.389 --> 01:12:15.288
plugged into my friend's portable CRT.

01:12:15.288 --> 01:12:18.380
That's just about the viewing experience 
this movie deserves.

01:12:18.380 --> 01:12:21.362
But hey, for as much as
a soulless cash grab

01:12:21.362 --> 01:12:22.639
that the Emoji Movie was,

01:12:22.639 --> 01:12:24.789
there is one good thing about it.

01:12:24.789 --> 01:12:27.182
And that's that it is
inadvertently responsible

01:12:27.182 --> 01:12:29.429
for causing Jordan Peele to make Get Out.

01:12:43.530 --> 01:12:46.065
Holmes & Watson was the much anticipated reunion

01:12:46.065 --> 01:12:47.866
between John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell

01:12:47.866 --> 01:12:51.366
a duo that starred in a couple of smash hit comedies in the mid-2000s.

01:12:51.366 --> 01:12:54.066
So when this movie released to atrocious reviews,

01:12:54.066 --> 01:12:56.781
it left some people scratching their head wondering

01:12:56.781 --> 01:12:59.198
how two guys who worked so well together before,

01:12:59.198 --> 01:13:00.999
could fuck up a movie this bad.

01:13:00.999 --> 01:13:03.348
And trust me, no matter what your sense of humor is,

01:13:03.348 --> 01:13:05.082
this movie is bad.

01:13:05.082 --> 01:13:06.348
It's not funny, at all,

01:13:06.348 --> 01:13:07.849
not even a little bit.

01:13:07.849 --> 01:13:09.916
It's just boring and hard to watch.

01:13:09.916 --> 01:13:12.232
Right, I know. He's an onanist.

01:13:12.232 --> 01:13:13.791
- Yes.
- What's an onanist?

01:13:13.791 --> 01:13:15.563
He, let's see.

01:13:15.986 --> 01:13:18.220
He pours his own tea.

01:13:19.035 --> 01:13:22.632
He likes to create his own sauce.

01:13:22.632 --> 01:13:25.073
He is a saucier.

01:13:25.371 --> 01:13:28.667
And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen.

01:13:29.124 --> 01:13:31.956
On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair.

01:13:31.956 --> 01:13:33.873
[Evasive] The plot is impossible to follow,

01:13:33.873 --> 01:13:35.806
the jokes fall flat on their face,

01:13:35.806 --> 01:13:37.491
and some of them were already dated

01:13:37.491 --> 01:13:38.657
by the time the movie came out.

01:13:38.657 --> 01:13:40.540
Compared to Tallaadega Nights and Stepbrothers,

01:13:40.540 --> 01:13:42.808
everything about their delivery here just feels off.

01:13:42.808 --> 01:13:46.045
And the blame probably rests with writer-director Etan Cohen.

01:13:46.045 --> 01:13:48.211
Not to be confused with Ethan Coen. No.

01:13:48.211 --> 01:13:51.707
Etan Cohen is a writer who built a pretty decent resumé

01:13:51.707 --> 01:13:52.874
in the 90s and the 2000s

01:13:52.874 --> 01:13:54.691
and decided to branch out into directing

01:13:54.691 --> 01:13:56.692
with Get Hard in 2015.

01:13:56.692 --> 01:13:58.825
Holmes & Watson was his second attempt at directing

01:13:58.825 --> 01:14:00.192
and possibly his last

01:14:00.192 --> 01:14:02.673
because the movie just barely didn't break even.

01:14:02.673 --> 01:14:06.092
And since its release, Cohen seems to turn exclusively to writing.

01:14:06.092 --> 01:14:10.141
My theory is, the man didn't know how to direct Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

01:14:10.141 --> 01:14:14.225
He just got them together and assumed their chemistry would carry the movie.

01:14:14.225 --> 01:14:18.300
Because the whole thing feels like he just dressed them up in Victorian Era clothes and said

01:14:18.300 --> 01:14:22.616
"Just do whatever you want. We'll edit it down to just the funny parts."

01:14:22.616 --> 01:14:23.783
And then surprise.

01:14:23.783 --> 01:14:24.998
None of it was funny.

01:14:24.998 --> 01:14:25.964
[Holmes] You know what I've found,

01:14:25.964 --> 01:14:27.639
to take the most attractive photographs,

01:14:27.639 --> 01:14:31.139
you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus.

01:14:31.823 --> 01:14:32.823
[Watson] Platypus face!

01:14:33.183 --> 01:14:33.934
Chins up!

01:14:35.827 --> 01:14:36.604
Hey!

01:14:36.604 --> 01:14:38.227
Hey! Hey, girl!

01:14:49.910 --> 01:14:51.593
Cats is a hilarious movie.

01:14:51.593 --> 01:14:54.643
It is so funny for all the wrong reasons.

01:14:54.643 --> 01:14:56.443
I saw this in theaters when it came out

01:14:56.443 --> 01:14:59.015
after eating a couple of very powerful weed gummies

01:14:59.015 --> 01:15:01.912
and it is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.

01:15:01.912 --> 01:15:04.279
It's unlike any other movie ever made.

01:15:04.279 --> 01:15:05.296
It really is.

01:15:05.446 --> 01:15:06.745
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫

01:15:06.745 --> 01:15:08.045
It's dinner and a show.

01:15:08.715 --> 01:15:11.429
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫

01:15:11.429 --> 01:15:13.970
♫ A-dooba-dooba-doo ♫

01:15:13.970 --> 01:15:17.022
♫ Tak-pity-pak-pity-pak ♫

01:15:17.022 --> 01:15:19.272
Released at the tail end of 2019,

01:15:19.388 --> 01:15:22.422
Cats was an act of pure hubris from director Tom Hooper,

01:15:22.422 --> 01:15:24.572
who was well known in Hollywood at this point for directing

01:15:24.572 --> 01:15:27.754
the King's Speech, Les Misérables, and The Danish Girl.

01:15:27.754 --> 01:15:31.423
Well I guess Tommy Boy got pretty full of himself after all those award-winners,

01:15:31.423 --> 01:15:34.655
because for his next project, he proceeded to blow a hundred million dollars

01:15:34.655 --> 01:15:36.772
on a film adaptation of Cats: The Musical.

01:15:36.772 --> 01:15:39.222
Behind the scenes, Hooper rushed the movie out the door

01:15:39.222 --> 01:15:40.772
so it could release in time for Christmas.

01:15:40.772 --> 01:15:43.606
And in the process, treated the animators like complete shit.

01:15:43.606 --> 01:15:47.039
Anonymous sources later reported that Hooper knew nothing about animation,

01:15:47.039 --> 01:15:49.456
made them work 90-hour weeks for months,

01:15:49.456 --> 01:15:53.256
and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning, and condescending

01:15:53.256 --> 01:15:54.272
toward everyone.

01:15:54.272 --> 01:15:56.672
One source said that Hooper talked to the animators

01:15:56.672 --> 01:15:57.755
like they were garbage

01:15:57.755 --> 01:16:00.738
and even compared their time working on cats to slavery.

01:16:00.738 --> 01:16:02.989
It's been a few years now since Cats released,

01:16:02.989 --> 01:16:05.739
and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard from since.

01:16:05.739 --> 01:16:08.696
So I think it's safe to assume that those allegations were completely true

01:16:08.696 --> 01:16:11.209
and he won't be making a comeback any time soon.

01:16:11.209 --> 01:16:13.728
At this point, I'd like to play you a song from the movie

01:16:13.728 --> 01:16:16.177
but YouTube would probably demonetize me if I did that.

01:16:16.177 --> 01:16:19.127
So instead I'm gonna play you a public service announcement from the 80s.

01:16:22.057 --> 01:16:23.981
An accident? An accident?

01:16:24.037 --> 01:16:25.029
Accident.

01:16:25.106 --> 01:16:27.014
The humans have an accident.

01:16:27.014 --> 01:16:28.843
There was a child in the car.

01:16:28.843 --> 01:16:29.975
A child?

01:16:29.975 --> 01:16:31.212
A child?

01:16:31.212 --> 01:16:32.177
A child?

01:16:32.361 --> 01:16:35.265
Cats have 9 lives, children only one,

01:16:35.265 --> 01:16:38.137
help them live their life, buckle them into a car seat,

01:16:38.137 --> 01:16:41.036
no one wants a child to become a memory.

01:16:41.036 --> 01:16:46.509
♫ Memory, all alone in the moonlight. ♫

01:16:55.205 --> 01:16:58.607
So Absolute Proof is not a movie.

01:16:58.607 --> 01:17:00.573
For the first time in Razzie history,

01:17:00.573 --> 01:17:02.190
the Razzies gave Worst Picture

01:17:02.190 --> 01:17:04.589
to something that was not a movie.

01:17:04.589 --> 01:17:06.389
This is a 2-hour long special

01:17:06.389 --> 01:17:09.656
that aired on One America News in February 2021

01:17:09.656 --> 01:17:11.923
where Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,

01:17:11.923 --> 01:17:15.939
bought airtime to prove that the 2020 election was hacked by China,

01:17:15.939 --> 01:17:18.506
using statistics that were proven to be fake,

01:17:18.506 --> 01:17:20.956
and interviewing experts that don't have any real credentials.

01:17:20.956 --> 01:17:23.140
This special was also uploaded on YouTube,

01:17:23.140 --> 01:17:25.976
but was quickly taken down for spreading false information.

01:17:25.976 --> 01:17:28.904
I was hoping it would be at least unintentionally funny,

01:17:28.904 --> 01:17:30.804
but it's just really boring to watch.

01:17:30.804 --> 01:17:33.388
- It's mostly the MyPillow guy saying
- Woah.

01:17:33.388 --> 01:17:36.187
talking about voting data that was given to him by a fraudster.

01:17:36.187 --> 01:17:39.688
At one point, he brings out a guy who claims he invented e-mail.

01:17:39.688 --> 01:17:42.288
You know, from creating e-mail and all these systems.

01:17:42.288 --> 01:17:43.505
I know the power of machines.

01:17:43.505 --> 01:17:48.022
Yeah, he created e-mails. The creator of e-mails.

01:17:48.022 --> 01:17:49.906
I don't know, I don't have anything to say about this one.

01:17:49.906 --> 01:17:51.756
It's not a movie.

01:18:01.978 --> 01:18:04.420
So this is also not a movie.

01:18:04.420 --> 01:18:06.531
Diana The Musical is a Broadway show

01:18:06.531 --> 01:18:09.028
that was planned to open on March 31st, 2020.

01:18:09.028 --> 01:18:11.813
Obviously, that didn't pan out, but in summer of 2020

01:18:11.813 --> 01:18:14.362
they were able to get the cast together to make a recording of the show.

01:18:14.362 --> 01:18:17.478
With heavy COVID restrictions and with no audience, of course.

01:18:17.478 --> 01:18:19.746
Then, for some bizarre reason,

01:18:19.746 --> 01:18:23.346
they decided to release that recording 
on Netflix on October 2021

01:18:23.346 --> 01:18:26.495
a whole month before the show reopened on Broadway.

01:18:26.495 --> 01:18:29.195
Obviously, this was the dumbest possible thing they could've ever done

01:18:29.195 --> 01:18:32.013
because why would anyone who isn't a hardcore House Windsor stan

01:18:32.013 --> 01:18:35.358
pay over a hundred dollars for a Broadway ticket to this cringefest

01:18:35.358 --> 01:18:38.075
when they could just watch the cringefest for free at home.

01:18:38.075 --> 01:18:39.858
This show was a complete flop,

01:18:39.858 --> 01:18:42.776
performing to a half-full theater every night for a month,

01:18:42.776 --> 01:18:44.559
until the producers put the show out of its misery

01:18:44.559 --> 01:18:46.401
and cancelled it on December 19.

01:18:46.401 --> 01:18:49.068
Even if it hadn't been dumped on Netflix before it opened,

01:18:49.068 --> 01:18:50.450
it still probably would've flopped

01:18:50.450 --> 01:18:52.950
because it's every bit as tone deaf as the title suggests.

01:18:52.950 --> 01:18:57.339
The lyrics sound like a 14 year old girl saw Hamilton and Newsies a few times

01:18:57.339 --> 01:18:59.922
and was like, "Oh my gosh, I can do that too!"

01:18:59.922 --> 01:19:02.276
except it wasn't written by a 14 year old girl,

01:19:02.276 --> 01:19:04.909
it was written by a Tony Award-winning playwright in his 50s.

01:19:04.909 --> 01:19:07.976
Here is just a sample of some of the lyrics this show throws at you.

01:19:07.976 --> 01:19:11.030
♫ Alright, I'm no intellect. ♫

01:19:11.170 --> 01:19:13.688
♫ But maybe there's a discotheque ♫

01:19:13.688 --> 01:19:16.155
♫ where the prince could hear some Prince ♫

01:19:16.155 --> 01:19:18.521
♫ and we'd all get funkadelic ♫

01:19:18.771 --> 01:19:20.470
♫ You thought I was a ninny, ♫

01:19:20.470 --> 01:19:21.661
♫ you could mold me as you like. ♫

01:19:21.661 --> 01:19:23.221
♫ Well the skinny on that ninny ♫

01:19:23.221 --> 01:19:25.170
♫ is she's really rather bright. ♫

01:19:25.170 --> 01:19:28.154
♫ I just got a ticket to the main event ♫

01:19:28.154 --> 01:19:32.537
♫ It's the Thrilla in Manila but with Diana and Camilla ♫

01:19:39.157 --> 01:19:41.710
Directed by eccentric auteur Andrew Dominik,

01:19:41.710 --> 01:19:45.147
Blonde is the most recent Worst Picture winner as the time I made this video

01:19:45.147 --> 01:19:47.447
and probably the most controversial winner since Showgirls.

01:19:47.447 --> 01:19:50.814
It's a nearly 3 hour long, NC-17 rated movie

01:19:50.814 --> 01:19:52.181
about the life of Marilyn Monroe

01:19:52.181 --> 01:19:54.280
that takes extreme liberties with her life story

01:19:54.280 --> 01:19:56.746
because it's actually based on a historical fiction novel

01:19:56.746 --> 01:19:57.964
by Joyce Carol Oates.

01:19:57.964 --> 01:20:00.105
The reviews of this thing were all over the place.

01:20:00.105 --> 01:20:02.004
When it premiered at the Venice Film Festival,

01:20:02.004 --> 01:20:04.388
it received a 14-minute long standing ovation

01:20:04.388 --> 01:20:06.654
and early critic reviews were extremely positive.

01:20:06.654 --> 01:20:08.822
Then it released on Netflix a few weeks later

01:20:08.822 --> 01:20:10.405
and the drama started.

01:20:10.405 --> 01:20:13.440
On the positive end, the movie got praised for its stunning cinematography

01:20:13.440 --> 01:20:16.089
and for Anna De Armas' performance as Monroe.

01:20:16.089 --> 01:20:18.522
On the negative end, the movie was criticized for being

01:20:18.522 --> 01:20:20.590
exploitative, sexist, and dehumanizing,

01:20:20.590 --> 01:20:22.456
and for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe

01:20:22.456 --> 01:20:25.489
as a helpless girl relentlessly abused by the Hollywood system

01:20:25.489 --> 01:20:28.305
when her real life story was much more complicated than that.

01:20:28.305 --> 01:20:29.572
And it certainly doesn't help that

01:20:29.572 --> 01:20:32.372
Andrew Dominik doubled down on it, after the film's release,

01:20:32.372 --> 01:20:35.239
saying, "Criticism only hurts if you agree with it,

01:20:35.239 --> 01:20:36.922
and I didn't agree with any of it.

01:20:36.922 --> 01:20:40.489
She's dead, the movie doesn't make any difference to her one way or another.

01:20:40.489 --> 01:20:44.555
What they mean is that the film exploited their memory of her, the image of her,

01:20:44.555 --> 01:20:47.489
which is fair enough. It does. That's the whole point of the movie.

01:20:47.489 --> 01:20:49.439
That's the whole problem with Marilyn Monroe.

01:20:49.439 --> 01:20:51.855
Everybody feels like they know her and what's best for her."

01:20:53.018 --> 01:20:53.938
I don't know about you guys,

01:20:54.363 --> 01:20:55.785
I could speak on this movie more,

01:20:55.785 --> 01:20:58.418
but I don't want to.

01:20:58.418 --> 01:20:59.774
This is the last movie on this list

01:20:59.774 --> 01:21:01.450
and I'm tapping out.

01:21:01.450 --> 01:21:03.408
I don't wanna see any of you in the comments saying,

01:21:03.408 --> 01:21:05.505
"Oh, Eva tapping out.

01:21:05.799 --> 01:21:07.412
Eva not giving her real opinion.

01:21:07.412 --> 01:21:09.203
You're being evasive.

01:21:09.453 --> 01:21:10.580
You can't do that."

01:21:20.328 --> 01:21:22.395
Thank god this is over.

01:21:22.395 --> 01:21:25.663
My eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now.

01:21:25.663 --> 01:21:27.964
I don't have a single thought left in my head.

01:21:27.964 --> 01:21:29.847
But let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts

01:21:29.847 --> 01:21:32.160
by sorting all these movies into 4 categories.

01:21:32.160 --> 01:21:33.312
These categories are

01:21:33.312 --> 01:21:36.235
Boring Bad, Funny Bad, Not That Bad,

01:21:36.235 --> 01:21:37.927
and Crimes against Humanity.

01:21:38.499 --> 01:21:40.146
And there we go.

01:21:45.807 --> 01:21:46.950
I am Evasive,

01:21:46.950 --> 01:21:48.539
thank you to my Patreon supporters,

01:21:48.539 --> 01:21:50.709
thank you to all of you for watching,

01:21:50.709 --> 01:21:52.350
and thank you so much to my guests

01:21:52.350 --> 01:21:53.850
for contributing to this video.

01:21:53.850 --> 01:21:56.193
And hey, Razzie people, if you're watching,

01:21:56.917 --> 01:21:57.907
Hi.

01:21:57.907 --> 01:21:59.716
Invite me to the show sometime, maybe.

01:21:59.716 --> 01:22:01.666
Honestly I think you guys are a little cringey

01:22:01.666 --> 01:22:03.866
and you've made some very questionable decisions in the past

01:22:03.866 --> 01:22:07.347
but like…I don't care.

01:22:07.347 --> 01:22:08.690
In the meantime, we're going to do

01:22:09.640 --> 01:22:11.867
literally anything else besides watching movies.

01:22:12.291 --> 01:22:13.353
You know what I'm gonna do.

01:22:13.684 --> 01:22:15.029
I'm gonna look at some clouds.

01:22:15.623 --> 01:22:16.943
Ooh, and touch grass.

01:22:16.943 --> 01:22:18.773
Oh I can't remember the last time I touched grass.

01:22:18.773 --> 01:22:21.147
I'm gonna go outside, look at some clouds,

01:22:21.147 --> 01:22:21.942
and touch grass.

01:22:21.942 --> 01:22:22.943
Ok, bye guys.