0:00:00.000,0:00:02.380
What's up cinephiles,[br]I'm Evasive,

0:00:02.380,0:00:05.769
and this piece of paper right here[br]means two things:

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Number one, I am tens of[br]thousands of

0:00:08.510,0:00:09.820
dollars in debt,

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and number two, I know a lot[br]about movies.

0:00:13.140,0:00:16.909
Since the U.S government[br]isn't giving me any debt relief this year,

0:00:16.909,0:00:19.669
I have no choice now but to[br]torture myself on the Internet

0:00:19.669,0:00:21.649
for money to pay off the loans

0:00:21.649,0:00:23.399
I took out to go to film school.

0:00:23.916,0:00:26.566
So for this video, I watched every[br]movie that's ever won

0:00:26.566,0:00:29.006
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture[br]of the Year.

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This was an extremely painful[br]experience

0:00:31.196,0:00:33.257
and I regretted my decision[br]immediately,

0:00:33.257,0:00:35.367
but for the sake of [br]my adoring fans

0:00:35.367,0:00:36.407
and my bank account,

0:00:36.407,0:00:38.547
I went ahead and watched [br]all 46 of these

0:00:38.547,0:00:40.367
movies so I could [br]explain them to you.

0:00:40.367,0:00:43.027
But after the grueling experience[br]of watching all these,

0:00:43.027,0:00:45.247
I'm not about to tackle this[br]breakdown alone.

0:00:45.247,0:00:47.827
So I went ahead and roped in[br]another video essay girly

0:00:47.827,0:00:49.028
and a talking trash can

0:00:49.028,0:00:51.131
to help explain some of these[br]movies for me.

0:00:53.211,0:00:54.771
But before I get to the movies,

0:00:54.771,0:00:56.511
let me explain what the Razzies are.

0:00:59.810,0:01:02.469
The Golden Raspberry Awards are[br]an annual event,

0:01:02.469,0:01:04.579
usually held the night before the Oscars,

0:01:04.579,0:01:06.959
to award the worst[br]movies of the year.

0:01:06.959,0:01:09.059
It was founded by Hollywood[br]copywriter

0:01:09.059,0:01:11.389
John Wilson and editor Maureen[br]Murphy.

0:01:11.389,0:01:13.819
The idea for the Razzies came[br]about in 1980

0:01:13.819,0:01:17.710
when Wilson saw Can't Stop [br]the Music and Xanadu, back to back

0:01:17.710,0:01:20.763
and hated them so much, that[br]there ought to be an award show

0:01:20.763,0:01:21.958
for this type of thing.

0:01:21.958,0:01:23.458
Months later, Wilson hosted an

0:01:23.458,0:01:25.358
Oscars watch party at his house,

0:01:25.358,0:01:27.408
and after the Oscars had finished,

0:01:27.408,0:01:29.938
he and Murphy passed out ballots[br]to everyone

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for the worst movies of the year,

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and then he announced the[br]winners.

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Over time, the ceremony [br]grew and grew,

0:01:36.008,0:01:39.244
and today they're considered a staple [br]of the Hollywood award season

0:01:39.244,0:01:41.384
as a low-budget Bizarro World[br]Oscars

0:01:41.384,0:01:43.346
that distributes awards in[br]categories

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such as Worst Actor, Worst Director,

0:01:45.516,0:01:46.946
and Worst Screenplay.

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Unlike the qualifications for voting[br]at the Oscars,

0:01:49.626,0:01:51.826
becoming a Razzie voter [br]is very easy:

0:01:51.826,0:01:53.925
either be friends with [br]one of the producers

0:01:53.925,0:01:56.365
or just pay a $40 membership fee.

0:01:56.365,0:01:58.095
That's all it takes.

0:01:58.095,0:01:59.785
So that's the story of the Razzies.

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Now are you ready to learn about[br]every single movie

0:02:02.208,0:02:03.608
that won Worst Picture?

0:02:04.838,0:02:05.798
Because I wasn't.

0:02:05.798,0:02:08.796
There's 46 of these things, so I'm[br]going to talk about each one

0:02:08.796,0:02:10.049
for just a minute or two

0:02:10.049,0:02:11.536
and hand off a few to my guests

0:02:11.536,0:02:13.536
so I don't completely lose my mind here.

0:02:13.536,0:02:16.216
Also, I put a content warning on a[br]bunch of these movies

0:02:16.216,0:02:18.596
because of the sensitive subject[br]matter I discuss.

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Not trying to traumatize anybody[br]but myself in this video.

0:02:22.686,0:02:24.276
Well, me and my guests.

0:02:25.109,0:02:27.489
But I commissioned them for this,[br]so it-it's fine.

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Anybody who can swallow 2 snowballs [br]and a ding-dong shouldn't

0:02:40.430,0:02:41.717
have trouble with pride.

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The first movie to win Worst Picture was [br]Can't Stop The Music,

0:02:45.209,0:02:49.209
A movie about the "origins"[br]of the disco group Village People.

0:02:49.209,0:02:53.681
I say origins in air-quotes because[br]the Village People play themselves

0:02:53.681,0:02:55.666
and the plot is completely made-up

0:02:55.666,0:02:58.351
and not at all how the Village People[br]actually formed

0:02:58.351,0:03:02.074
The movie itself is super campy[br]and full of these crazy musical numbers

0:03:02.074,0:03:03.926
that are unironically kinda great.

0:03:03.926,0:03:07.455
It's just too bad that in between[br]those musical numbers are these scenes

0:03:07.455,0:03:10.742
with really terrible acting [br]that go on for way too long.

0:03:10.742,0:03:15.618
Wait a minute! I am not taking one[br]more step 'til I know where I'm going.

0:03:15.757,0:03:19.422
Yeah, quit my job, and you[br]got me walking the beat again!

0:03:19.422,0:03:22.193
- I'm not even getting paid for it![br]- Hold your horses.

0:03:22.193,0:03:24.001
I told you I had a surprise for you.

0:03:24.001,0:03:26.722
I hope so. I turned in my[br]coin change with the toll booth.

0:03:26.722,0:03:30.760
It wasn't that awful, but by 1980 [br]the disco fad was pretty much over and

0:03:30.782,0:03:33.048
people loved to hate on[br]disco music at the time

0:03:33.048,0:03:35.740
so you can see why this[br]ended up being such a huge bomb.

0:03:35.740,0:03:40.029
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the[br]first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner

0:03:40.029,0:03:42.310
and apparently the experience was so bad

0:03:42.310,0:03:45.830
she didn't appear in a movie again until[br]Jack & Jill in 2011.

0:03:45.830,0:03:49.868
And, uh, well.

0:03:56.398,0:03:58.637
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"

0:03:58.637,0:04:02.538
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's[br]adopted daughter Christina.

0:04:02.538,0:04:06.739
Again, I say biopic in air-quotes[br]because the movie was based on

0:04:06.739,0:04:08.942
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir

0:04:08.942,0:04:12.412
that other members of Joan Crawford's[br]family disavowed when it came out.

0:04:12.450,0:04:14.469
I haven't done much research on the topic

0:04:14.469,0:04:16.852
so I'm in no position[br]to question this story.

0:04:16.852,0:04:18.925
But I will say that after[br]the movie was made

0:04:18.925,0:04:23.026
Christina said the film was grotesque[br]and not true to her memoir.

0:04:23.026,0:04:26.465
Released just 4 years after[br]Joan Crawford passed away,

0:04:26.465,0:04:29.732
this movie basically spits all over[br]her fresh grave

0:04:29.732,0:04:31.508
and portrays her as a horrible mother

0:04:31.508,0:04:34.889
who frequently, physically and emotionally[br]abused her daughter.

0:04:34.889,0:04:38.290
Whether or not this is actually true[br]is still a matter for debate.

0:04:38.290,0:04:41.534
Regardless of the real-life circumstances[br]behind the movie,

0:04:41.635,0:04:44.867
Faye Dunway's performance[br]of Joan Crawford is iconic now.

0:04:44.867,0:04:48.052
People who have experienced [br]emotional abuse from a parent

0:04:48.052,0:04:51.185
found her performance[br]scarily true to their own life experiences

0:04:51.285,0:04:53.844
but general audiences thought[br]she was just being

0:04:53.844,0:04:56.388
outrageously campy and [br]over the top the whole movie.

0:04:56.418,0:04:57.663
Because of its reputation

0:04:57.663,0:05:00.798
the film accidentally[br]became a queer cult classic over the years

0:05:00.798,0:05:02.720
especially in the drag community.

0:05:02.786,0:05:05.565
It was even featured in the most[br]recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

0:05:05.664,0:05:10.098
"No wire hangers!"

0:05:10.182,0:05:13.798
♫ No more wire hangers ♫[br]♫ Ah, ah! ♫

0:05:13.881,0:05:18.415
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫[br]♫ No, no, no, no ♫

0:05:24.317,0:05:27.876
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about[br]the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.

0:05:27.876,0:05:30.492
It was financed and produced[br]by the Unification Church,

0:05:30.492,0:05:34.004
a movement that was and still is[br]considered a dangerous cult

0:05:34.031,0:05:37.242
with a leader who called himself[br]the second coming of Jesus Christ.

0:05:37.242,0:05:40.073
The film's producer was[br]a very wealthy member of the church.

0:05:40.073,0:05:42.456
He said he was instructed by God[br]to make the film.

0:05:42.556,0:05:45.939
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted[br]any part of this.

0:05:46.021,0:05:51.088
All 46 million dollars of the budget was[br]provided by the church and its followers.

0:05:51.172,0:05:54.668
The film itself doesn't have much[br]to do with the Unification Church.

0:05:54.768,0:05:58.739
It's a straightforward war movie that's[br]just boring and unremarkable.

0:05:58.839,0:06:03.042
It had some star power but only because[br]the actors in it were paid a lot of money.

0:06:03.042,0:06:06.074
Laurence Olivier admitted even[br]before the movie was released

0:06:06.124,0:06:08.189
that he was only in it for the money.

0:06:08.305,0:06:11.489
It was such a flop that nobody[br]bothered to release it on home media.

0:06:11.505,0:06:13.688
The only available version[br]of the movie today

0:06:13.772,0:06:17.438
is from an old VHS rip from when it[br]played on Unification Church TV channel.

0:06:17.505,0:06:21.040
The only thing worth seeing in this movie[br]is Laurence Olivier's makeup job.

0:06:21.040,0:06:22.942
I mean he looks like the Joker.

0:06:29.942,0:06:31.441
This movie is just tasteless.

0:06:31.441,0:06:33.575
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins

0:06:33.674,0:06:36.626
who was paid 600 000 dollars[br]for the film rights

0:06:36.709,0:06:38.559
and apparently fell asleep[br]in the screening room

0:06:38.559,0:06:40.459
and never actually watched the movie.

0:06:40.575,0:06:42.676
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,

0:06:42.775,0:06:45.792
young Ray Liotta,[br]in his first ever movie role,

0:06:45.859,0:06:48.943
sexually assaults the main character[br]with a garden hose.

0:06:49.043,0:06:52.526
After that the rest of the movie[br]is just her being forced to have sex

0:06:52.526,0:06:55.176
with gross older men[br]in order to get ahead in Hollywood.

0:06:55.176,0:06:57.092
And you see all of it.

0:06:57.092,0:06:59.928
It seems like it was trying to criticize[br]sexism in Hollywood

0:06:59.928,0:07:02.245
but instead of handling it[br]with nuance or respect

0:07:02.245,0:07:04.309
the movie fully shows the sex scenes

0:07:04.392,0:07:06.626
and does the very thing[br]it's trying to critique.

0:07:06.626,0:07:10.155
The final scene of the movie shows[br]her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay

0:07:10.155,0:07:12.458
and calling out the men[br]who took advantage of her

0:07:12.458,0:07:13.703
in her acceptance speech.

0:07:13.703,0:07:17.631
Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,[br]and the movie just ends there.

0:07:17.631,0:07:20.013
It's really uncomfortable to watch.

0:07:22.378,0:07:24.349
But somehow the next movie is even worse.

0:07:30.066,0:07:32.999
Ugh, god, ok.

0:07:33.412,0:07:36.238
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.

0:07:36.253,0:07:38.964
John Derek is—[br](groan)

0:07:39.591,0:07:41.656
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor

0:07:41.656,0:07:45.720
who appeared in supporting roles in[br]several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.

0:07:45.720,0:07:48.482
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,

0:07:48.482,0:07:51.059
he traveled to Europe to direct[br]a low-budget movie called

0:07:51.059,0:07:53.734
"Once upon a Love" starring[br]a 16 year old girl named

0:07:53.734,0:07:55.604
"Mary Cathleen Collins".

0:07:55.604,0:07:58.521
During the production—[br](retching)

0:07:58.672,0:08:00.021
I'm sorry.

0:08:00.172,0:08:02.206
During the production, [br]John Derek left his wife

0:08:02.272,0:08:05.122
and groomed Mary Collins[br]into a sexual relationship,

0:08:05.188,0:08:08.138
With the two staying in Europe[br]until she turned 18

0:08:08.188,0:08:10.523
so he could avoid [br]statutory (censor beep) charges.

0:08:10.573,0:08:14.972
When they got married a few years later,[br]she changed her name to Bo Derek

0:08:15.004,0:08:19.123
and proceeded to star in all of his movies[br]until he died in 1998.

0:08:19.123,0:08:22.162
(retching)[br](vomit squelching)

0:08:22.162,0:08:23.063
I'm sorry.

0:08:23.106,0:08:26.541
So anyway, Bolero was a movie[br]about a young woman fresh from college

0:08:26.591,0:08:29.391
who travels to Morocco in Spain[br]to lose her virginity.

0:08:29.457,0:08:31.291
If that wasn't bad enough,

0:08:31.358,0:08:35.990
this movie features a full-frontal[br]nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.

0:08:36.057,0:08:39.024
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.

0:08:39.091,0:08:41.774
An actual 14 year old girl.

0:08:41.857,0:08:45.925
(retching, vomit squelching)[br](coughing)

0:08:52.752,0:08:54.806
If you've never seen any[br]Rambo movies before

0:08:54.871,0:08:57.438
the image you probably associate[br]with the word "Rambo"

0:08:57.504,0:09:00.271
is the one where[br]hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone

0:09:00.388,0:09:02.472
is firing a machine gun[br]without a shirt on.

0:09:02.589,0:09:06.455
But see, that's actually from this movie,[br]"Rambo First Blood: Part II",

0:09:06.572,0:09:09.089
which has very little to do[br]with Part 1 at all.

0:09:09.189,0:09:11.544
The whole point of[br]the first Rambo movie is that

0:09:11.544,0:09:14.505
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran[br]with severe PTSD

0:09:14.572,0:09:18.460
who snaps and kills a bunch of[br]small-time cops who treat him like shit.

0:09:18.460,0:09:19.969
This sequel, on the other hand

0:09:20.009,0:09:22.793
throws that tragic anti-war character[br]out the window

0:09:22.793,0:09:26.008
as the US government sends him[br]back to Vietnam

0:09:26.008,0:09:27.544
to locate prisoners of war

0:09:27.677,0:09:30.527
and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.

0:09:30.610,0:09:32.843
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD

0:09:32.843,0:09:35.477
and just got straight to blowing stuff up,[br]no problem.

0:09:35.477,0:09:37.725
This movie was[br]a massive box office success

0:09:37.725,0:09:39.844
and made double of what[br]the first movie made,

0:09:39.844,0:09:42.978
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched[br]the anti-war angle

0:09:43.061,0:09:44.861
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.

0:09:44.944,0:09:47.577
I dunno if someone thought[br]the first movie was amazing,

0:09:47.660,0:09:50.945
it really sucks to see how quickly[br]they ruined this character.

0:09:51.027,0:09:52.527
But, like, I get it.

0:09:52.527,0:09:54.961
The people who went to see[br]these sequels in theaters

0:09:54.961,0:09:56.460
didn't watch it for the plot.

0:09:56.527,0:09:58.861
They watched to see [br]Sylvester Stallone do this.

0:09:58.944,0:10:07.250
(bow twang)[br](explosion)

0:10:13.940,0:10:16.656
In the early 80s, [br]Prince was a rising star.

0:10:16.656,0:10:18.553
And his stardom was cemented in 1984

0:10:18.636,0:10:21.003
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.

0:10:21.003,0:10:22.636
After the success of Purple Rain,

0:10:22.636,0:10:26.952
Warner Bros. told Prince he was allowed to[br]do whatever he wanted for his next project

0:10:26.952,0:10:30.152
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon[br]without even reading the script

0:10:30.172,0:10:33.554
the story is, Prince plays a guy in [br]the French Rivier named Christopher

0:10:33.554,0:10:36.362
He and his friend try to [br]scam a girl out of her inheritance

0:10:36.362,0:10:38.558
but they both end up [br]falling in love with her.

0:10:38.558,0:10:40.831
A problem became apparent early on

0:10:40.831,0:10:43.943
when Prince hired someone with [br]no experience to write the script.

0:10:43.943,0:10:46.425
Then 16 days into filming, [br]the director quit.

0:10:46.425,0:10:50.364
And Prince took over even though he had[br]no experience directing a movie before.

0:10:50.364,0:10:53.706
The end result was a movie that features[br]what I can only describe as

0:10:55.106,0:10:55.982
Acting.

0:10:56.429,0:10:59.497
Don't try anything funny.[br]Not this time, Christopher.

0:10:59.793,0:11:03.390
I want the money or I throw[br]you both out onto the street.

0:11:06.296,0:11:07.256
(gasp)

0:11:07.256,0:11:09.924
That's right, [inaudible]

0:11:13.030,0:11:14.638
Throw me onto the street?

0:11:14.638,0:11:17.155
It's bizarre, it's one of [br]those movies where

0:11:17.155,0:11:19.685
the acting is so bad [br]it loops around to being funny

0:11:19.685,0:11:22.583
which has given it[br]a bit of a cult following over the years

0:11:22.583,0:11:24.313
that and the soundtrack is amazing

0:11:24.313,0:11:25.487
like with Purple Rain

0:11:25.487,0:11:28.210
Prince released an album with the movie[br]that went Platinum

0:11:28.210,0:11:31.435
and is today remembered as [br]one of his most iconic albums

0:11:31.435,0:11:34.395
After Under the Cherry Moon failed, [br]Prince tried one more time

0:11:34.395,0:11:36.079
to direct a feature-length movie

0:11:36.079,0:11:38.601
but that one got nominated [br]for a bunch of Razzies too

0:11:38.601,0:11:41.557
After that he gave up and [br]never tried to direct a movie again.

0:11:41.557,0:11:44.668
Also this here marks [br]the first ever tie in Razzies history

0:11:44.668,0:11:46.976
with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with

0:11:46.976,0:11:49.155
(laughing)

0:11:49.155,0:11:50.384
Howard the Duck.

0:12:00.286,0:12:11.076
(Evasive laughing)

0:12:11.076,0:12:16.317
Greetings, Evasive viewers, [br]it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law

0:12:16.317,0:12:19.405
and I'm here to defend [br]my client Howard T. Duck,

0:12:19.405,0:12:23.419
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, [br]Howard The Duck

0:12:23.419,0:12:26.716
For nearly the last 40 years [br]my client's reputation has been

0:12:26.716,0:12:28.476
tarnished and slandered against

0:12:28.476,0:12:32.490
by quack punch, chicken shit critics [br]for this tragic box office bomb.

0:12:32.173,0:12:36.790
Central character, the Duck, the one [br]that we're gonna be rooting for,

0:12:36.457,0:12:39.486
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."

0:12:39.486,0:12:41.142
But I'm here to clear the air.

0:12:41.142,0:12:44.982
Howard the Duck is not a movie, [br]no, it's a duckumentary.

0:12:45.160,0:12:47.147
I know this because I was there.

0:12:47.182,0:12:48.196
We all were.

0:12:49.323,0:12:52.988
My entire clan witnessed [br]my client crash land on Earth

0:12:52.988,0:12:55.823
to star in a motion picture [br]that of which has been

0:12:55.823,0:12:59.303
Um.

0:12:59.303,0:13:02.987
it's still awful. It's bad. [br]We're not winning this case, buddy.

0:13:03.105,0:13:04.790
I wasn't trying anything. Honest!

0:13:04.886,0:13:07.460
This is a strange movie to say the least.

0:13:07.151,0:13:09.655
Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of

0:13:09.655,0:13:12.257
full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.

0:13:14.850,0:13:16.285
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash

0:13:16.569,0:13:19.418
between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie

0:13:19.518,0:13:22.510
that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny

0:13:22.151,0:13:25.680
followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and

0:13:25.167,0:13:27.305
pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.

0:13:28.277,0:13:29.351
Howard…

0:13:29.351,0:13:34.149
It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and a kids' flick properly yet

0:13:34.149,0:13:37.214
so it becomes this overly long bland comedy

0:13:37.214,0:13:38.991
with hardly any intentional laughs

0:13:38.991,0:13:42.329
that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then

0:13:42.549,0:13:44.820
- [Howard] Oh![br]- I just can't resist your

0:13:44.820,0:13:46.870
intense animal magnetism.

0:13:48.214,0:13:54.139
There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"

0:13:54.230,0:13:57.744
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."

0:13:57.864,0:14:00.883
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.

0:14:01.516,0:14:02.793
That's a duck name.

0:14:03.783,0:14:05.311
That's a name you give a duck.

0:14:05.622,0:14:08.607
The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering

0:14:08.678,0:14:12.158
there's no funny interactions or [br]observations or memorable bits

0:14:12.158,0:14:15.105
it's just an aimless movie [br]with the guy in the duck suit.

0:14:15.184,0:14:17.440
You have an entire portion of the movie

0:14:17.440,0:14:19.782
where Howard has a job [br]as a towel boy in a sex club

0:14:19.782,0:14:21.742
it's fun for the whole family!

0:14:22.323,0:14:24.737
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.

0:14:25.310,0:14:27.945
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.

0:14:28.154,0:14:32.180
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [?] [br]as a result of a [?] incident.

0:14:32.258,0:14:40.345
Which also leads to Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert.

0:14:41.199,0:14:42.859
What would you like to eat?

0:14:42.915,0:14:45.815
I no longer need human food.

0:14:45.815,0:14:47.964
[Junko] I need little boy butts.

0:14:47.964,0:14:50.702
You have a movie where[br]a talking duck fires a giant laser

0:14:50.702,0:14:53.142
at a hell portal to stop [br]a horde of alien warlords

0:14:53.142,0:14:54.388
from taking over the Earth

0:14:54.388,0:14:56.914
and they still manage [br]to make it a total snooze fest

0:14:56.914,0:14:58.821
They try to give Howard a bit of edge

0:14:58.821,0:15:01.721
but he still feels [br]too kiddy and sanitized

0:15:01.721,0:15:03.494
And part of that is his design.

0:15:03.494,0:15:05.882
He looks like a cross [br]of a Furby and MacCulkin.

0:15:05.882,0:15:07.582
There are some things I did like,

0:15:07.582,0:15:09.202
these alien overlords are cool

0:15:09.202,0:15:11.630
their design and stop motion [br]is really well done.

0:15:11.630,0:15:14.000
The sequence where[br]Howard gets shot into space

0:15:14.000,0:15:16.210
is pretty neat, pretty [br]impressive to look at.

0:15:16.210,0:15:19.820
I like this sequence where [br]Howard and [?] get a [?]

0:15:19.820,0:15:21.540
and start flying away from the cops

0:15:21.540,0:15:22.300
that was good.

0:15:22.300,0:15:23.730
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this

0:15:23.730,0:15:26.931
Imagine having what's considered [br]one of the best movies of all time

0:15:26.931,0:15:28.165
as part of your portfolio

0:15:28.165,0:15:30.783
and on the other end of the [br]spectrum, Howard the Duck,

0:15:30.783,0:15:31.773
now that's range

0:15:31.773,0:15:35.150
Genuinely I was taken aback [br]because some of the shots in this movie

0:15:35.150,0:15:36.805
undeniably go hard.

0:15:36.805,0:15:40.585
There's a version of this movie that [br]could've actually been good with less work

0:15:40.585,0:15:44.397
If they leaned into Howard being this[br]cynical, perverted wise-cracking duck

0:15:44.397,0:15:46.817
that's down on his luck,[br]who gets thrust into Earth

0:15:46.817,0:15:48.482
and finds this strange new realm

0:15:48.482,0:15:50.277
isn't so much different from his own.

0:15:50.277,0:15:52.917
Then it's all about the bills, [br]baby, put it on my belt

0:15:52.917,0:15:55.677
He could take it as an [br]opportunity for a fresh start,

0:15:55.677,0:15:57.442
slowly climbing the corporate ladder

0:15:57.442,0:15:59.135
until becoming a national celebrity

0:15:59.135,0:16:01.443
that gets caught up in 80s [br]consumerism and greed

0:16:01.443,0:16:04.709
then have him begrudgingly involved [br]in weird sci-fi fantasy stuff

0:16:04.709,0:16:05.913
like the comics, I dunno.

0:16:05.913,0:16:08.002
I'm not sure how to defend my client.

0:16:08.002,0:16:08.923
Give him the chair.

0:16:09.582,0:16:10.902
(Howard screams)

0:16:19.038,0:16:28.708
(Evasive laughing)

0:16:29.239,0:16:32.441
Alright, I may not have been [br]able to defend Howard,

0:16:32.441,0:16:36.502
but know this: from this day forth, [br]I will ensure every client of mine

0:16:36.502,0:16:37.919
is proven innocent.

0:16:38.328,0:16:41.978
Now for my next client, [br]I will be defending one Bill Cos-.

0:16:41.978,0:16:42.968
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

0:16:46.402,0:16:47.612
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

0:16:47.875,0:16:50.785
I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw.

0:16:50.975,0:16:53.915
We're done here. We're done.

0:16:53.915,0:16:57.316
It's Leonard, part 6.

0:16:57.316,0:16:59.652
Ask anyone who's seen[br]this movie, they'll tell you

0:16:59.652,0:17:02.708
that's when they first knew [br]lil' Bill was a real piece of shit

0:17:02.708,0:17:06.353
When I heard there was a comedy movie[br]that just started on part 6

0:17:06.353,0:17:10.813
That's funny, maybe this movie could be [br]bad in a good way, at the very least

0:17:10.813,0:17:14.813
Nope, it's just bad, [br]it's boring, it's so boring.

0:17:14.853,0:17:17.223
If there's one thing Cosby [br]was always a master at

0:17:17.223,0:17:18.837
it's making people very sleepy.

0:17:19.087,0:17:22.151
The whole thing is supposed to be [br]a spoof on the spy genre,

0:17:22.151,0:17:25.356
like Naked Gun, except it actually[br]came out a year before that movie

0:17:25.531,0:17:29.284
They just had the cameras rolling [br]and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted

0:17:29.284,0:17:31.514
There's a bunch of weird sex shit

0:17:31.514,0:17:33.018
I mean the clues are all there,

0:17:33.018,0:17:36.309
in the movie his wife divorced him[br]because he slept with a 19 year old

0:17:36.309,0:17:40.309
and his daughter is dating an older man[br]to further her career as an actress

0:17:40.309,0:17:42.836
Leonard has to see her [br]flash her tits on stage

0:17:42.836,0:17:46.127
for no reason, none of these scenes [br]add anything to the movie

0:17:46.127,0:17:48.539
Cosby just wanted to look [br]at some young girl tits

0:17:48.539,0:17:51.883
The whole film has this weird[br]lethargic and slow energy to it

0:17:51.883,0:17:54.124
Everything from the dialogue[br]to the editing,

0:17:54.124,0:17:56.541
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.

0:17:56.541,0:17:58.635
The movie opens with [br]Leonard and an assassin

0:17:58.635,0:18:00.309
having a shootout in a kitchen

0:18:00.309,0:18:03.604
The joke is that what they're doing [br]is actually helping the food prep

0:18:03.604,0:18:07.882
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all[br]is so bizarrely off by a step

0:18:07.882,0:18:11.275
Every gag and bit is like this, [br]like they took something that was

0:18:11.275,0:18:14.552
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best[br]and spread it so thin that

0:18:14.908,0:18:15.975
you ask yourself,

0:18:15.975,0:18:18.036
Was there even [br]a joke at all to begin with?

0:18:18.197,0:18:20.633
The plot follows Leonard [br]being the best agent

0:18:20.633,0:18:23.567
who's long retired, then[br]pulled back for one last mission

0:18:23.567,0:18:26.417
after a buncha animals [br]under mind control kill people

0:18:26.417,0:18:28.417
Again a god-awful 80s comedy starts

0:18:28.417,0:18:30.417
with an animal looking at a porno mag.

0:18:30.417,0:18:31.877
Here's two fucking nickels.

0:18:31.877,0:18:34.392
The first half is him just [br]stumbling around

0:18:34.392,0:18:36.157
trying to get back with his ex wife

0:18:36.242,0:18:39.224
who pours soup on him—[br]what is this gag?

0:18:39.224,0:18:42.363
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby?[br]You think this was genuinely funny?

0:18:42.363,0:18:46.363
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.

0:18:46.560,0:18:49.593
Cosby doesn't have a single [br]funny line or hook to his character

0:18:49.593,0:18:52.144
you can tell he's put [br]zero effort into any of this

0:18:52.224,0:18:56.713
It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie [br]but I don't wanna look too stupid,

0:18:56.780,0:19:00.732
These so-called jokes are what the most[br]boring uptight person in the world

0:19:00.732,0:19:02.355
would think being silly is.

0:19:02.355,0:19:05.816
[mocking] Oh, look, wow [br]he's being a ballerina, so girly.

0:19:05.816,0:19:10.310
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, [br]how can he subject himself to that.

0:19:10.310,0:19:14.493
Oh, wee, it's like he thinks [br]these things are so beneath him

0:19:14.493,0:19:16.415
that just him doing it would be funny.

0:19:16.415,0:19:17.920
What a piece of shit.

0:19:17.920,0:19:19.705
What really makes me mad, though?

0:19:19.705,0:19:23.473
It's completely unfair. Because everyone[br]seems to be trying, but him.

0:19:23.473,0:19:26.793
In the end when Leonard tries to [br]free all the animals from captivity,

0:19:26.793,0:19:29.090
and I just wanna[br]recognize this bird right here.

0:19:29.090,0:19:33.020
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars[br]of his cage with his beak and breaks free

0:19:33.214,0:19:34.274
God bless this bird.

0:19:34.274,0:19:37.404
This bird put more effort[br]than Bill Cosby in his own movie.

0:19:37.634,0:19:41.124
This bird did not deserve to be[br]in one of the worst movies of all time.

0:19:41.124,0:19:42.435
None of these animals did.

0:19:42.435,0:19:44.735
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed

0:19:44.735,0:19:48.278
with a sex criminal grinding[br]his pudding pop on its back.

0:19:48.278,0:19:53.245
If audiences in 1987 hated this, [br]watching it now,

0:19:53.245,0:19:56.725
with all the humor naturally diluted[br]even further to the passage of time

0:19:56.725,0:19:58.865
is like drinking a 40 year old[br]can of new coke

0:19:58.865,0:20:02.155
and when Bill's handing you a drink,[br]you probably shouldn't drink it.

0:20:02.375,0:20:04.477
(gurgling)

0:20:10.889,0:20:14.786
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise[br]plays a bartender in Manhattan.

0:20:15.136,0:20:17.639
He movies to Jamaica [br]and falls in love with a girl.

0:20:17.639,0:20:20.449
Then he loses her and moves back[br]to New York to win her back

0:20:20.449,0:20:21.599
That's pretty much it.

0:20:21.599,0:20:23.719
What you see is what you get[br]with this one.

0:20:23.719,0:20:25.109
It's a really mediocre movie.

0:20:25.109,0:20:27.232
Not that good, but not that bad either.

0:20:27.232,0:20:29.699
Well except for when Tom Cruise[br]stands on a bar

0:20:29.699,0:20:31.142
and reads his shitty poetry.

0:20:31.142,0:20:32.312
This is pretty cringey.

0:20:32.312,0:20:34.821
I see America drinking

0:20:34.821,0:20:37.554
the fabulous cocktails I make.

0:20:38.743,0:20:42.163
America's getting stinking[br]on something I stir or shake.

0:20:42.163,0:20:44.463
(laughing)

0:20:44.463,0:20:47.273
I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay,

0:20:47.273,0:20:49.817
iced tea the kamikaze,

0:20:49.817,0:20:52.067
(hollering)

0:20:52.067,0:20:57.037
the sex on the beach[br]is Schnapps made from peach

0:20:57.037,0:21:00.497
the ball and hammer[br]the Alabama slammer!

0:21:00.497,0:21:04.340
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring,[br]this movie was a massive success,

0:21:04.340,0:21:09.237
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars[br]on a 20 million dollar budget.

0:21:09.237,0:21:12.661
It's also the movie the Beach Boys[br]"Kokomo" song was written for.

0:21:13.188,0:21:15.328
Besides that, not much to talk about here.

0:21:15.328,0:21:18.534
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture[br]because this was the year

0:21:18.534,0:21:20.519
Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture.

0:21:20.519,0:21:24.485
The voters must have thought it was funny[br]to make the Best and Worst Picture

0:21:24.485,0:21:25.713
be Tom Cruise movies.

0:21:32.549,0:21:36.676
Ok before making this video,[br]I hadn't watched any Star Trek at all.

0:21:36.676,0:21:40.933
But because I'm committed to my craft,[br]I went and watched all 6 original movies

0:21:40.933,0:21:43.895
just so I could understand why this one[br]is considered the worst.

0:21:43.895,0:21:45.353
After all that, I—

0:21:46.107,0:21:47.840
Yeah. I get it now.

0:21:47.840,0:21:51.566
It's not a horrible movie but especially[br]compared to the previous films,

0:21:51.566,0:21:53.604
Star Trek V is pretty bleh.

0:21:53.604,0:21:56.029
Pretty much everything went wrong[br]behind the scenes.

0:21:56.029,0:21:59.240
William Shatner directed it[br]with no prior experience.

0:21:59.240,0:22:01.973
Nobody could agree on anything[br]during the writing process,

0:22:01.973,0:22:03.370
There was a writers' strike.

0:22:03.370,0:22:04.657
Then a Teamsters strike.

0:22:04.657,0:22:06.993
They shot a lot of the movie[br]in the Mojave Desert,

0:22:06.993,0:22:08.670
which is as miserable as it sounds.

0:22:08.670,0:22:12.670
After the filming was done, they only had[br]3 months to make the special effects,

0:22:12.670,0:22:16.120
and all the best effects technicians[br]in Hollywood were busy working on

0:22:16.120,0:22:18.594
Indiana Jones 3[br]and Ghostbusters II at the time.

0:22:18.594,0:22:21.539
Do I think this movie[br]deserved Worst Picture? No.

0:22:21.539,0:22:24.633
It does some wacky things like[br]introduce Spock's long-lost brother

0:22:24.633,0:22:26.091
that he never mentioned before

0:22:26.091,0:22:28.487
Or show Kirk getting mauled[br]by a cat woman.

0:22:28.700,0:22:31.146
Overall I really don't think it's that bad

0:22:31.146,0:22:33.572
Though I'm not a Trekkie who had to see

0:22:33.572,0:22:36.834
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise[br]in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"

0:22:36.834,0:22:37.904
So…

0:22:39.814,0:22:41.814
I mean…is that bad?

0:22:42.628,0:22:43.910
I actually don't know.

0:22:44.662,0:22:49.041
Can someone in the comments tell me[br]if that's bad, if that's out of character?

0:22:49.821,0:22:51.561
Should I be mad[br]at this or not?

0:22:58.561,0:23:00.791
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a

0:23:00.791,0:23:02.889
"comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.

0:23:02.889,0:23:05.035
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is,

0:23:05.035,0:23:08.020
he was a comedian most active[br]in the late 80s and early 90s

0:23:08.020,0:23:10.310
who was known as the Dice Man,

0:23:10.310,0:23:14.584
which was basically a cover to tell[br]the most offensive jokes possible.

0:23:14.711,0:23:16.195
And they're always on parade.

0:23:16.655,0:23:19.425
They march down the street[br]with t-shirts and flags

0:23:19.425,0:23:21.695
'I want money for AIDS disease.'[br]Beautiful.

0:23:21.819,0:23:25.213
I want money for a fucking car,[br]I ain't marching up and down the street

0:23:25.284,0:23:26.464
Get a job, butt slammer.

0:23:26.506,0:23:29.585
[Evasive] The movie itself[br]is about a detective, I guess,

0:23:29.585,0:23:31.385
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.

0:23:31.385,0:23:34.779
I was on my phone the whole time[br]because I was just so bored.

0:23:34.779,0:23:36.623
- I got something serious to discuss.

0:23:37.703,0:23:41.392
Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?[br](laughing)

0:23:41.392,0:23:43.846
We were at our parents'[br]wedding anniversary,

0:23:43.846,0:23:44.976
and I told that joke,

0:23:45.156,0:23:47.076
'What's the definition of vagina?

0:23:47.297,0:23:50.507
The box that peanuts comes in!' (laugh)

0:23:50.547,0:23:53.313
Gilbert Godfrey plays[br]the only funny character in the movie

0:23:53.313,0:23:56.743
but he dies like 25 minutes in[br]and the rest is just a boring mess

0:23:56.743,0:23:58.362
that's impossible to follow.

0:23:58.362,0:24:01.817
The director Renny Harlin was also[br]working on Die Hard 2 at the time

0:24:01.817,0:24:05.657
which came out in theaters[br]at the same time as Ford Fairlane

0:24:05.657,0:24:08.562
and when you compare the money[br]between the two movies.

0:24:08.562,0:24:11.132
Yeah, it's obvious which movie[br]he cared about more.

0:24:11.132,0:24:13.422
Clint Eastwood.

0:24:13.422,0:24:15.812
I fucked him. Oh!

0:24:22.390,0:24:24.355
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie

0:24:24.355,0:24:26.805
with Ford Fairlane tieing[br]with another movie

0:24:26.805,0:24:29.141
from unapologetic[br](censor beep)-phile John Derek.

0:24:29.141,0:24:33.063
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman[br]married to a much older man

0:24:33.063,0:24:36.751
and when the older man dies,[br]his ghost takes up residence in her head

0:24:36.751,0:24:38.571
and goads her into murdering a man

0:24:38.571,0:24:41.343
so he can possess his body[br]and have sex with her again.

0:24:41.343,0:24:43.863
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie

0:24:43.863,0:24:45.550
where John Derek fantasizes about

0:24:45.550,0:24:48.468
living rent-free in Bo Derek's head[br]after he dies.

0:24:48.468,0:24:50.640
Plus this ended up being his last movie.

0:24:50.806,0:24:53.209
It would be poetic[br]if it wasn't so disgusting.

0:24:53.209,0:24:59.753
Bo was very very young.[br]Linda was very young…

0:24:59.753,0:25:01.714
I guess I just meet them young,

0:25:01.714,0:25:04.138
before they're wise enough[br]to know I'm not the guy.

0:25:04.138,0:25:06.888
Anyway the acting is bad,[br]the story is bad,

0:25:06.888,0:25:08.157
the visuals are bad,

0:25:08.157,0:25:10.597
but the real cherry on top is: this movie

0:25:10.597,0:25:13.161
was the first film appearance[br]of Donald Trump.

0:25:13.161,0:25:17.102
No joke, Trump's first movie[br]was made by a (censor beep) phile.

0:25:17.228,0:25:19.623
He even does a little duck face in it,[br]look at him.

0:25:22.487,0:25:23.277
Poetic.

0:25:29.481,0:25:30.556
Just watch this clip.

0:25:30.556,0:25:31.872
Woah!

0:25:32.860,0:25:34.515
Happy [inaudible]

0:25:35.375,0:25:40.125
Oh no! How am I driving?[br]1800-I'm gonna-(censor beep)-die!"

0:25:40.125,0:25:43.215
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays[br]a master burglar fresh out of prison

0:25:43.215,0:25:45.325
who was blackmailed into stealing some art

0:25:45.325,0:25:48.124
but it's all part of a conspiracy[br]to build a secret machine

0:25:48.124,0:25:50.917
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci[br]that can turn lead into gold.

0:25:50.917,0:25:54.698
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis[br]was mainly known for Die Hard 1 and 2,

0:25:54.698,0:25:56.956
and was looking to branch out[br]with Hudson Hawk.

0:25:56.956,0:25:59.509
Apparently he couldn't decide[br]what he wanted it to be.

0:25:59.509,0:26:01.697
In an interview,[br]one of the writers later said:

0:26:01.697,0:26:03.240
I knew we were in trouble

0:26:03.240,0:26:05.275
when Joel and Bruce[br]would say during filming

0:26:05.275,0:26:08.071
You know what this is?[br]This is a Pink Panther movie.

0:26:08.071,0:26:09.343
The next day they'd say

0:26:09.343,0:26:12.452
You know what this is? This is an[br]American James Bond movie.

0:26:12.452,0:26:16.080
Then it would be:[br]This is North by Northwest.

0:26:16.080,0:26:17.609
I even remember someone saying:

0:26:17.609,0:26:20.129
You know what this is?[br]This is Casino Royale.

0:26:20.129,0:26:23.864
Eventually I realized, if every day they[br]were saying it was something different

0:26:23.864,0:26:26.730
once we got to the editing room,[br]we were gonna be in trouble.

0:26:26.730,0:26:29.035
So yeah, the final product[br]is all over the place.

0:26:29.035,0:26:31.973
But he movie developed[br]a bit of a cult following

0:26:31.973,0:26:34.944
just because it's so…so silly

0:26:34.944,0:26:36.664
(screaming)

0:26:36.664,0:26:38.754
- Honey?[br]- (screaming)

0:26:39.396,0:26:40.395
Ball ball?

0:26:40.395,0:26:41.286
Woof!

0:26:42.652,0:26:45.442
(dog screaming)

0:26:52.648,0:26:54.910
Here's another movie[br]that's really not that bad.

0:26:54.910,0:26:58.746
It's a World War II spy movie where[br]Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman

0:26:58.746,0:27:02.504
with no spy experience[br]who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin

0:27:02.504,0:27:06.385
because she wants to prove herself and[br]save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.

0:27:06.385,0:27:08.466
Michael Douglas plays another spy

0:27:08.466,0:27:12.097
and pre-Schindler's List[br]Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.

0:27:12.097,0:27:14.190
Most complaints about the movie[br]were aimed at

0:27:14.190,0:27:16.766
how unbelievable[br]Melanie Griffith is as a spy

0:27:16.766,0:27:18.866
because she was really bad at her job.

0:27:18.866,0:27:22.543
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and[br]taking the German kids she's nannying

0:27:22.543,0:27:25.663
to the building her cousins are hiding in"[br]kind of bad

0:27:25.663,0:27:28.106
But overall it's not that awful of a movie

0:27:28.106,0:27:30.156
because the plot holes[br]and writing problems

0:27:30.156,0:27:33.492
are balanced out by a good soundtrack[br]and good cinematography

0:27:33.492,0:27:34.656
It's just average.

0:27:34.656,0:27:36.096
Not bad enough to be memorable

0:27:36.096,0:27:38.503
but not good enough[br]that you'd ever watch it again.

0:27:38.503,0:27:40.803
The cinematic equivalent[br]of eating at Denny's.

0:27:40.803,0:27:44.437
I think 1992 was just a slow year[br]for bad movies in general.

0:27:44.437,0:27:47.755
That same year they also [br]nominated Newsies for Worst Picture

0:27:47.755,0:27:51.188
and Danny DeVito for[br]Worst Supporting Actor

0:27:51.188,0:27:54.626
like…what? Why? How?

0:27:56.146,0:27:56.846
What?

0:28:04.068,0:28:06.354
Once again, this is a movie[br]that's not that bad.

0:28:06.354,0:28:08.702
It's a drama where[br]Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore

0:28:08.702,0:28:11.408
play a financially struggling[br]married couple in Vegas

0:28:11.408,0:28:13.576
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy

0:28:13.576,0:28:15.618
who offers the couple 1 million dollars

0:28:15.618,0:28:17.636
for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.

0:28:17.636,0:28:19.370
Honestly, it's fine.

0:28:19.370,0:28:23.403
It takes itself very seriously[br]and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.

0:28:23.403,0:28:27.294
Also it's completely unbelievable that[br]a man who looks like Robert Redford

0:28:27.294,0:28:30.733
would pay a million dollars[br]to sleep with someone.

0:28:30.733,0:28:32.803
But in the context of the movie it works.

0:28:32.803,0:28:35.597
Definitely not the[br]worst movie of the year.

0:28:35.597,0:28:37.517
You're telling me that Indecent Proposal

0:28:37.517,0:28:40.817
won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny[br]wasn't even nominated?

0:28:40.817,0:28:43.187
Razzie voters were asleep[br]at the wheel this year.

0:28:52.653,0:28:56.371
In this one Bruce Willis plays a[br]psychologist who can't see the color red

0:28:56.371,0:28:58.849
who gets wrapped up[br]in a murder after his colleague

0:28:58.849,0:29:00.543
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style

0:29:00.543,0:29:02.676
and he suspects someone[br]in his therapy group.

0:29:02.722,0:29:06.006
I'm so confused why this[br]was even nominated for Worst Picture

0:29:06.006,0:29:08.006
because this wasn't a bad movie at all.

0:29:08.175,0:29:11.592
It's surreal and weird, sure,[br]but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way

0:29:11.592,0:29:13.966
where it's still unsettling[br]and fun to watch.

0:29:13.966,0:29:16.680
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.

0:29:17.992,0:29:19.418
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.

0:29:19.418,0:29:22.560
Another one that became a cult hit[br]after home video release.

0:29:22.560,0:29:26.196
Partly because of this crazy sex scene[br]in a pool that everybody wanted to see

0:29:26.196,0:29:28.846
It was even streaming[br]on Criterion Channel at one point

0:29:28.846,0:29:31.115
which basically means[br]that it's certified art.

0:29:31.115,0:29:32.325
That's all I have to say.

0:29:32.325,0:29:36.057
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies[br]aren't bad enough to complain about.

0:29:42.674,0:29:45.164
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.

0:29:45.164,0:29:47.323
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven

0:29:47.323,0:29:50.089
was the first to accept[br]his Razzie award in person.

0:29:50.089,0:29:51.753
And that's kind of funny.

0:29:51.802,0:29:55.479
And I'm very happy [br]because it was much more fun

0:29:55.479,0:29:58.188
than reading the reviews in September. [br]Thank you so much.

0:29:58.188,0:30:01.722
(clapping, cheering)

0:30:01.722,0:30:03.851
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.

0:30:03.851,0:30:07.228
It's actually a great movie, [br]in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.

0:30:07.228,0:30:11.043
It is a wild movie about the world of[br]high budget Las Vegas strip shows

0:30:11.043,0:30:12.945
Obviously with subject matter like that

0:30:12.945,0:30:14.906
you're going to view it very differently

0:30:14.906,0:30:16.860
depending on your gender and sexuality.

0:30:16.860,0:30:19.040
But regardless of what kind[br]of person you are

0:30:19.040,0:30:22.224
the experience of watching this movie[br]is an absolute rollercoaster.

0:30:22.224,0:30:24.013
One. Two. Three.

0:30:24.013,0:30:28.053
Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it!

0:30:28.053,0:30:29.494
Come on, thrust it.

0:30:29.494,0:30:33.128
But for as over the top as this movie is[br]it's also pretty true to life.

0:30:33.128,0:30:36.009
During his research, [br]writer Joe Eszterhas interviewed

0:30:36.009,0:30:38.299
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas

0:30:38.299,0:30:41.216
and the result was a[br]shockingly straightforward depiction

0:30:41.216,0:30:44.182
of the lives of high profile[br]sex workers and performers

0:30:44.182,0:30:47.013
And a biting satire against[br]show business in general.

0:30:47.243,0:30:48.571
Take a look at these tits.

0:30:48.729,0:30:50.476
What are these, watermelons?

0:30:50.504,0:30:52.502
This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.

0:30:52.902,0:30:53.662
See ya.

0:30:53.696,0:30:55.724
Your ears are sticking out. They are.

0:30:56.069,0:30:58.097
Come back and see me[br]when you get em fixed.

0:30:58.524,0:30:59.264
See ya.

0:31:01.206,0:31:03.329
Can you spell MGM backwards?[br]I bet you can't.

0:31:03.412,0:31:05.222
- MGM.[br]- I'm impressed.

0:31:05.613,0:31:08.053
Come back when you[br]fuck some of those baby fat off.

0:31:08.053,0:31:11.960
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas,[br]none of this is that shocking

0:31:11.960,0:31:14.839
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.

0:31:14.839,0:31:18.155
Plus with the subject matter,[br]this movie has a lot of nudity.

0:31:18.155,0:31:20.534
It was rated NC-17 in America

0:31:20.534,0:31:25.225
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie[br]ever given a wide release in theaters.

0:31:25.225,0:31:27.706
It was so explicit and controversial

0:31:27.706,0:31:31.187
that MGM had to hire security[br]at every movie theater in America

0:31:31.187,0:31:34.567
just to make sure nobody under[br]the age of 18 snuck into the theater.

0:31:34.567,0:31:36.748
The movie lost millions of dollars

0:31:36.748,0:31:39.387
and to this day, no studio has ever dared

0:31:39.387,0:31:42.320
to try and release an NC-17 movie[br]in theaters again.

0:31:42.320,0:31:46.201
If this sounds interesting to you,[br]I recommend giving this movie a watch

0:31:46.201,0:31:49.513
because I can't really do it justice[br]with just words alone.

0:31:49.513,0:31:51.398
Just know what you're getting into

0:31:51.398,0:31:54.507
because this movie is every bit[br]as traumatic as it is glamorous

0:31:54.507,0:31:58.211
And actually to prove to you[br]how much I like this movie, watch this.

0:31:59.315,0:32:00.155
Oh.

0:32:00.691,0:32:01.634
Oh.

0:32:03.684,0:32:05.238
I'm a showgirl.

0:32:05.931,0:32:07.918
I'm a showgirl, baby.

0:32:08.466,0:32:09.833
I'm a showgirl.

0:32:16.472,0:32:17.218
In the mid-90s

0:32:17.218,0:32:19.985
Demi Moore was one of the[br]biggest film stars in the world.

0:32:20.243,0:32:22.243
And the world was dying to know,

0:32:22.243,0:32:24.243
what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?

0:32:24.567,0:32:26.908
That's actually the only reason[br]this movie exists.

0:32:26.908,0:32:29.761
They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars

0:32:29.761,0:32:33.171
the most any woman had ever been paid[br]for a movie role at the time

0:32:33.171,0:32:36.514
just so she would star in this movie[br]and show her boobs to the camera.

0:32:37.884,0:32:40.801
This movie is like if[br]Showgirls was actually bad.

0:32:40.801,0:32:44.868
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses[br]her daughter in a custody battle

0:32:44.868,0:32:47.783
and then becomes a stripper in Florida[br]at a place called Eager Beaver

0:32:47.783,0:32:49.516
to pay for a court appeal.

0:32:49.516,0:32:51.925
She basically girlbosses being a stripper.

0:32:51.925,0:32:54.187
Not in a nuanced way[br]like Showgirls though.

0:32:54.187,0:32:57.189
But in a stupid way[br]that takes itself seriously

0:32:57.189,0:32:59.781
and is mostly boring [br]and not believable at all.

0:32:59.781,0:33:02.797
Despite bad reviews, the movie[br]ended up being a huge success

0:33:02.797,0:33:05.349
The director-writer-producer[br]Andrew Bergman

0:33:05.349,0:33:07.595
basically quit Hollywood after this movie

0:33:07.595,0:33:09.163
I'm pretty sure what happened is

0:33:09.163,0:33:11.402
once he got Demi Moore [br]to agree to go topless,

0:33:11.402,0:33:13.572
he just phoned in the rest of the movie

0:33:13.572,0:33:16.821
because clearly the audiences[br]weren't watching for the plot.

0:33:16.821,0:33:17.871
But what can I say?

0:33:18.450,0:33:19.880
That's showbiz, baby.

0:33:20.374,0:33:24.675
That's…that's showbiz, baby.

0:33:31.138,0:33:34.982
The Postman takes place[br]in a distant future year of 2013

0:33:35.161,0:33:37.756
after much of humanity[br]has been wiped out by a plague.

0:33:37.756,0:33:40.320
Kevin Costner,[br]who also directed the movie,

0:33:40.434,0:33:44.691
stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer[br]that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion

0:33:44.691,0:33:47.058
He escapes and finds [br]an old mail bag full of mail

0:33:47.058,0:33:49.317
and pretends to be a mailman[br]so he can get food

0:33:49.317,0:33:52.310
and accidentally restarts [br]the US postal service in the process

0:33:52.440,0:33:54.525
Also it's almost 3 hours long.

0:33:54.525,0:33:59.055
Honestly, as far as post-apocalyptic[br]adventures go, this one isn't that bad.

0:33:59.055,0:34:02.118
It's about the same level of quality[br]as Waterworld, actually.

0:34:02.118,0:34:06.118
But the fact that it was a 3 hour long [br]Kevin Costner vanity project,

0:34:06.118,0:34:08.487
released just a week after Titanic,

0:34:08.487,0:34:10.516
made it a very easy target for critics.

0:34:10.639,0:34:13.308
What is Kevin Costner even up to,[br]these days?

0:34:13.308,0:34:16.309
(typing) Kevin Costner.

0:34:25.312,0:34:27.638
I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.

0:34:35.328,0:34:37.878
If you aren't familiar, [br]the name Alan Smithee

0:34:37.878,0:34:41.636
is a fake name [br]the Director's Guild came up with in 1968

0:34:41.636,0:34:44.065
that directors who took [br]their name off a movie

0:34:44.065,0:34:45.549
were required to use instead.

0:34:45.549,0:34:47.858
And this movie caused such a headache

0:34:47.858,0:34:50.972
that the Directors' Guild[br]had to officially stop allowing

0:34:50.972,0:34:53.320
the use of the Alan Smithee [br]name in movies.

0:34:53.320,0:34:55.784
This movie was written by Joe Eszterhas

0:34:55.784,0:34:57.512
and was directed by Arthur Hiller.

0:34:57.512,0:35:01.002
It's a mockumentary about a guy[br]whose name was actually Alan Smithee

0:35:01.002,0:35:03.861
who directs an action movie[br]but he hates the finished product

0:35:03.861,0:35:06.317
so he steals the film reels[br]and holds them ransom

0:35:06.317,0:35:08.645
because he wasn't allowed [br]to take his name off.

0:35:08.645,0:35:10.326
Now behind the scenes in real life,

0:35:10.326,0:35:13.247
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of [br]cutting Burn Hollywood Burn

0:35:13.247,0:35:15.663
and when Arthur Hiller [br]saw the final version

0:35:15.663,0:35:19.003
he hated it so much [br]he had his name taken off the movie

0:35:19.003,0:35:20.816
But this of course created a confusion

0:35:20.816,0:35:23.422
because this was a movie [br]about Alan Smithee

0:35:23.422,0:35:26.259
and the poster said it was [br]directed by Alan Smithee

0:35:26.259,0:35:28.428
which you would assume was just a joke

0:35:28.428,0:35:32.581
but no, the director actually [br]had his name taken off the movie.

0:35:32.581,0:35:36.151
It would take me so long to explain [br]everything that's wrong with this movie

0:35:36.151,0:35:37.771
so let me sum it up in four words.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Didn't laugh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's way too many characters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the movie jumps all over the place

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Harvey Weinstein is in it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Eew."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's lots of not funny parts where the camera freeze frames

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and there's a wall of text on screen.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm guessing what happened is they filmed all these scenes separately

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and thought they were hilarious on set

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but when they got to the editing room they realized they had nothing to work with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it by adding a bunch of text edit jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which actually made the movie worse.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I have no proof of this of course but it seems right to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'd probably do the same thing in that situation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok so this is a Western steampunk fusion movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
starring the Fresh Prince and the guy who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as cowboy government agents who hunt down an evil ex-Confederate officer with no legs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant with a giant robot spider.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's what this movie is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(hooting)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie is ridiculous.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know what the executives at Warner Bros. were snorting in the board room

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when they decided to spend over a 170 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith fights a huge mecha spider

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but thank god they did because Will Smith turned down playing Neo in the Matrix to do this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I'd like you to imagine what it would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I probably would have messed the Matrix up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would've ruined it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I did y'all a favor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This might not be a "good" movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but oh my god it's so funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Plus the theme song is pretty fire.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If I may quote one of the great gangster rappers, William Will Smith,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, wicki wicki wild

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild wild west.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do you find those lyrics inspiring?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, I…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Battlefield Earth is an action sci-fi movie based on a novel written by Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he wrote in 1982 when he was in hiding to avoid going to prison for his numerous crimes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's about a distant future world where humanity has been enslaved by aliens called "psychlos"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which are a very obvious metaphor for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate for psychiatrists.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
John Travolta, who plays the evil alien leader called Turl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and has been a scientologist since 1975

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is directly responsible for this movie existing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The production company who took it on was later found to have defrauded investors out of 31 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by overreporting production costs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
causing a lawsuit that forced the company to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On top of that, the movie was a massive financial flop

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not just because the movie and its John Travolta action figures

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were an obvious Scientology recruitment tactic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but because the movie itself was a visual nightmare.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The special effects are ugly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the costumes are disgusting,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the whole movie was filmed in these crooked angles

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that changed multiple times a scene.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which gave a bunch of people motion sickness.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a really infamously bad movie that's been covered by a bunch of other YouTube channels over the years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so if you want more information on it, go watch one of those videos.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just don't watch the movie itself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It'll do nothing but make you nauseous and waste two hours of your time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm serious, don't do it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest, I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
One of my friends and I watched this movie like four times during quarantine

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we kinda bonded over it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And now this movie has a special place in my heart.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Aw."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I made Nikki watch it instead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because she's never seen it before.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And here she is now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Where the hell do I even begin with this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Part of me thinks this movie is some kind of deep anti-comedy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
meant to satirize the other gross out comedies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that were popular in the early 2000s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the other part of me thinks that maybe it means nothing at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean any normal human being

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
would read a title called

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Freddy Got Fingered

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and run away in the opposite direction.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But to put it simply, this movie is about a 28 year old man

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Stop it, stop it, Mom, I'm a 28 year old man."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
His name is Gord and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And also to pursue his dream of being a professional animator.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Seems pretty simple, right? Seems pretty cut and dry?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But that's where you'd be wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because so very many things happen in this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that are beyond human explanation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just to name a few,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green jerks off a horse

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he swings a baby around by its umbilical cord

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And he goes scuba diving in his own toilet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Get out of that toilet![br]- (bubbling, gurgling)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But at the risk of sounding clinically insane

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and demented

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there are moments in this movie that I find kind of relatable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like this scene where the CEO of an animation company tells Gord that he doesn't like his drawings.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- It sucks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And so he immediately sticks a gun in his mouth and starts screaming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- The characters are so lame, I'm a loser.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wish I was dead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- (screaming)[br]- Wait, wait.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What makes this even funnier is that once he receives validation,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts like none of that ever happened at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Sir I can't work on this all day, I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're mentally ill, and make art, this is the film for you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- It's time I grow up and get a job instead of acting like a little baby all the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I can't think of anything to draw because I'm so stupid.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm so stupid.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- And this movie surprised me in so many different ways

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For one, it made me laugh way more than I anticipated.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Can't you see we're both just a couple of stupid idiots.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Gord…[br]- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was also weirdly based at times.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I say weirdly because the early 2000s was a derogatory fever dream.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was like running thru the perfume department in SpongeBob

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but the perfume was slurs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gord ends up asking out this nurse named Betty

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she says yes, but afterwards he finds out that she's in a wheelchair.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At first I was like, oh shit, it's about to get real ableist in here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lel-lel-lel.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was truly prepared for the worst.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But my expectations were subverted when Betty ended up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not only the smartest person in this whole movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but her and Gord remain in a relationship for the rest of the film.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I have a bag of jewels for you.[br]- Gord…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- They're jewels, Betty.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Another interesting thing to me is that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Betty constantly wants to give Gord a blow (dolphin sound) job.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here me out dude!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She asks him this so many times in the movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that it comes off as very obviously satirical.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just wanna suck your cock

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My life's a little hectic lately,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm having trouble concentrating with all the skateboarding and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- you sucking my penis all the time[br]- (chuckling)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And again, my expectations are subverted by Gord repeatedly asking if they can just go out on a date.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I just think if we went out on at least one date

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and you didn't do any sucking right now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that would make the whole sucking to date ratio

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
far more balanced, you know?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- This could be a play on the trope of male protagonists in comedy especially

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
being obsessed with sex

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And not only that but women being ultra sexualized in these movies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not all the subversion in this movie is good, though, necessarily.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you were wondering how the movie got its title,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I shit you not, about 50 minutes into the film,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gord frames his dad for "fingering" his brother.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- At least I don't touch Freddy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He fingers him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- His brother who is like 25 and doesn't even live with them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- He's a molester!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's a child molester!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- But CPS literally goes into his apartment and takes him to the molestation hospital.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is this shocking?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uh, yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know if it's shocking compared to the other things that happen in this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is it in poor taste?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uh…luhh…luhh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But this whole framing of the fingering

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is the canon event that leads to the finale of the film.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When Gord pranks his dad by

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
abducting him in the middle of the nightand taking him to Pakistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- You're fucking dead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They could write books and novels and college theseses

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about everything else that happen between then and the ending

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but just know that this movie ends with Gord and his dad being covered in elephant c—(censor beep)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(elephant trumpeting)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Speaking of which, there's an elephant in this room!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The elephant is that I actually kinda like this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also the elephant is coming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is that so wrong?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And is it so wrong that maybe kinda

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is it ok that he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Shut up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As far as career-ruining films go,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green took the failure of Freddy very very well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He even showed up to accept his Golden Razzie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He rolled out his own red carpet too.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Well done you guys. Give him some space.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Celebrate your successes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and your failures.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] A remake of an italian film from 1974

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Swept Away is a movie where Madonna plays the dumbest

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
most unlikable rich woman in the world

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who gets marooned on an island with an Italian sailor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who hates her and sexually assaults her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
3 minutes after that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's a time skip and suddenly they're in love.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a nasty nasty nasty movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I don't even wanna talk about it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was so bad it caused Madonna to give up on acting entirely.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially when you consider the movie was directed by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but in my opinion queen should've divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for even suggesting this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's nothing glamorous about it, then you were really mean to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mrs. Ritchie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I just want to slap you on camera.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why, Mrs. Ritchie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For all those times you let Adriano slap me and never yelled cut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Ritchie] One more.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Madonna] And all those times they threw octopuses on me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you made me stay in the freezing cold ice water.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you made me run down the sand dunes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you ate my food.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you didn't pay me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you never said thank you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crying)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when Gigli came in and literally snuffed the life out of me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gigli is a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's about a mobster named Gigli

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Much like this review on Letterboxd,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I too hope Gigli k—(dolphin noises) himself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because not only does he abduct a mentally challenged teenager,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and abuse him while holding him for ransom,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What if I smack you in the fucking head?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's also just cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unforgivably so.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she plays this other mobster or mobsterette

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who is supposed to help him take care of this mentally disabled kid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she also just happens to be a lesbian.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It means I'm a lesbian.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or should I say, the least convincing lesbian in film history.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No lesbians were consulted in the making of this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because what the fuck is this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's turkey time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Huh?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gobble gobble.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You may not be able to tell

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because this is the weirdest way I've ever heard anyone describe it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but she's talking about eating (dolphin sound) ussy here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I really don't know who told J.Lo.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or whoever wrote this script

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that lesbians call that turkey time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But whoever it was deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Of course Gigli doesn't respect her sexuality.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Your girlfriends, they're at a natural disadvantage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They might try hard but they're not just backed up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by millions of years of genetic engineering.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He whines and complains throughout the whole movie about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian but I'm attracted to her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I wanna be with her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know why I'm fucking sad?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because I've got this fucking

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
beautiful, sexy, gorgeous heartthrobba-rama

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fucking smart, amazing, bombshell

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
17 on a fucking 10 scale girl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sleeping on the bed right next to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She's a stone cold d—(vine boom)—yke.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A fucking untouchable, unaffable

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
brick wall fucking d—(vine boom)—kossaurus rex.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(mocking) Eugh…eugh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And after enough complaining, Ricki starts doing deeds with him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but in the hypothetical scenario

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where for some reason a lesbian had sex with a guy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it would not be with this guy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's always like licking his teeth and shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But luckily there's not just lesbian cringe,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This ain't fucking lesbian talk circle time!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's also plenty of heterosexual cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
God bless you penis.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And gay cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not gay!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Despite this movie literally being about mobsters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
nothing mobster-related really happens in this movie until the last 30 minutes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where for some reason Al Pacino is here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You piece of shit!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sure this is Al Pacino's favorite role of all time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
right up there next to Jack and Jill.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, we got em.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ho!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ho!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But to give it to you straight,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on a random beach with the cast of Baywatch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's literally played out like it's supposed to be this inspirational thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like a tearjerker or something.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(inspirational music)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki ride off into the sunset

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know I bet you'd look awesome in some mascara.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do not watch this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You will get a UTI.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or that other thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok first of all this movie is Catwoman in name only.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Despite being a DC comics movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Catwoman of this movie has pretty much nothing to do with the Catwoman from Batman.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This character has a different name

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
lives in a different city

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and gets her cat superpowers from a magic cat burping in her mouth.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just so stupid, it's actually really fun to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's so funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As you might expect this movie bombed hard

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
probably because they put it out around the same time as Spiderman 2.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of Hollywood

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and never directed a movie again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crowd laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit god-awful movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crowd laughing, cheering)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Berry cheering)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dirty love is a…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"comedy",

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
notorious anti-vaxxer and Masked Singer judge, Jennifer McCarthy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and I wanna leave the room," kind of way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I actually had a hard time finding clips of this movie online

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it's pretty obscure and nobody likes it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with a feminine spin.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And by feminine spin

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I, of course, mean period jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like this scene where a bleeding Jenny McCarthy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
goes to a grocery store in white skirt and no underwear

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and almost bleeds out on the floor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, relatable comedy for women.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand, boys.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this a sequel to Basic Instinct

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's maybe best remembered today for this scene

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where Newman from Seinfeld sees Sharon Stone's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
bare, uncensored (censor beep)-ssy in an interrogation room.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The original was nominated for a few Razzies in its day

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but it was a massive box office hit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and is today remembered as a pretty solid neo-noir thriller.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, Basic Instinct 2 on the other hand only exists

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because Sharon Stone was promised 14 million dollars to star in the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When the producers tried to cancel it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she sued them to force them to make it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Don't take it so hard.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] It's kind of hard to talk about this movie without spoiling a bit of the original.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I also barely remember anything about the plot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I only saw it a couple of months ago.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It rehashes a lot of the same story beats and plot points as the original,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just not as good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Would I call it a terrible movie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, not really.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But compared to the original,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's pretty bland and forgettable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But that's what happens when your only reason for making a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is to avoid a massive lawsuit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gotta love showbiz, baby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as a girl who is killed by a serial killer

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but survives and wakes up in the hospital saying she's someone else.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie was released in July 27, 2007

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy about Lindsay Lohan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially because Lohan checked into rehab the first time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a month into the production.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The film set was swarmed with so much paparazzi

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that some of them even showed up in the background of a few shots in the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then a couple months after filming wrapped,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then on July 24th, just three days before the movie was released,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and couldn't even attend the premiere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan enemy number one in Hollywood.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Critics eviscerated this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in a year since its release,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this film has kind of become a cult classic among horror movie fans.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's been screened in theaters many times over the last decade.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've seen a lot of people online compare it to giallo movies,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an Italian film genre popular in the 60s and 70s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that mixed elements of murder movies, slashers, and erotica.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The influence of giallo is definitely present here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a stylish weird thriller

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Lohan's background made her kind of perfect for the role

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet high school girl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into a deeply traumatized young woman with a robotic hand.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's definitely not for everyone, myself included,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but if you're into weird gory horror movies,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's a lot to vibe with here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a much better movie than Norbit, that's for sure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Have you ever seen Norbit?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ooh! Ah! Bitches!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Love Guru is a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
written by, directed by, and starring Mike Meyers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's mostly remembered as the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that completely tanked his career

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and caused him to step away from Hollywood for 8 years.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Critics and audiences both hated it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
With critics calling it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
lazy, immature, mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful, gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
among many other things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But don't take their word for it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Take my word for it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't have any other words for it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that pretty much sums it up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here's a scene they use in the trailer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Woah! How did you get there?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(groans)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This little guy scared the crap out of me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Think I might have to do a panty check,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I might have some monkey mustard back there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Who is this prick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Shh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Man, how do you do? Shrimp?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What did you call me, jagomoe?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You are a midget.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] The plot of this movie is Mike Myers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was raised in India

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wears a chastity belt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and dreams of being on Oprah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to help their star player get back together with his wife

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because he is the Love Guru

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and only he can save their marriage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's basically a one note movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Every seen goes on for way too long,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and pretty much every line is about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with many of the characters' names being dick jokes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We got Tugginmypudha,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
coach Cherkov,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Le Coq,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dick Pants,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Evasive laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not funny that John Oliver is named Dick Pants.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok, I'll be the first to say that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't think any of the Transformers movies are particularly good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That being said,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is definitely the worst one,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if only for how offensive and annoying it is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Pretty much every Transformer introduced in this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
either talks with a racist accent,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And when it isn't being annoying or racist,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's doing shit like this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Say my name, say my name. Hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What are you allowing[br]to happen to your foot just now?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At least he's faithful, Sam.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, well, he's faithful,[br]and he's nude and he's perverted.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hah…hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(sighs)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sadly this movie ended up making 836 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which was about a hundred million more dollars than Up made that same year.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- That's 'cause you was a wuss.[br]- You did force me into that car, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh I think he scared.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do with this shrimp taco?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lemme just pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the truck,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and then nobody gonna know nothing, y'know what I mean?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- No one's gonna pop any caps in any asses. Ok?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I've had a hell of a day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What can I even say about this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that hasn't been said a thousand times already?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This live action trashfire directed by M. Night Shyamalan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated TV show

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe if you watch this,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
having never seen the original series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's just another lame Hollywood fantasy action movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But for fans of the series, this was offensively bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The creators of the show were not allowed to give any input on the movie's development.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Beloved characters were made one-dimensional and pointless,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
major plot points were skipped over,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
characters' names are pronounced wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How do you even screw that up?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie made a lot of money

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but was so hated by audiences

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that Paramount must have known that they couldn't fool people twice

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and cancelled plans to adapt the other 2 seasons,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just sad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole movie is a sad waste of source material.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You'd probably have a better time playing the official Wii game

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
than watching this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(vaguely Asian music)[br](wheels skidding)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok, maybe not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(dramatic, haunting piano)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Alright, Razzies, respectfully,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what the fuck?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I never read the books and I didn't watch the movies until recently,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but even I know that the last movie in the Twilight series

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
isn't that bad a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's ridiculous, sure, but out of all the movies in this series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's definitely the most interesting and most exciting entry aside from the first one.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Obviously they gave it Worst Picture as a sort of dig at the entire series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
since none of the others had won Worst Picture before,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but come on.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's got a big fight scene on a frozen lake,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's got a girl named Renesmee,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it concludes one of the most iconic and most stupid blockbuster series of all time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's so entertaining and over the top

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that even if you hate Twilight and everything about it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can't tell me that this movie is worse than the Adam Sandler movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where he shows a 13 year old impregnating his teacher.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can't tell me that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because you'd be wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let me start this one off by

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
showing you the list of people that were involved in this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that's not even all of them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
each directed by different people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Made on an impossibly cheap budget of 6 million dollars,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this thing took 3 whole years to film

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the producers worked around actors' schedules

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to maximize how many famous people could show up on this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The sketches themselves are a relentless onslaught of dirty shock humor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz spills period blood on the wall.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where a horny cat pisses on Elizabeth Banks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My personal favorite was the one where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to poop on her during sex.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- So he takes some—[br]- Poop Viagra.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And then gets hit by car.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I love you, I wanna marry you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh my god. Doug, no!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're feeling sadistic,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
throw this on, on your next bad movie night with friends.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's got a little something for everyone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't even know what the hell Movie 43 means.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I'm in Movie 43, maybe I'm in Movie 44.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who took a hard right turn into Evangelical Christianity

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and has since appeared almost exclusively

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in low-budget Christian movies and radio programs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Today, he's mostly known for his inflammatory publicity stunts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like in 2020, when he organized maskless Christmas carols in LA

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to protest COVID restrictions,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he called "communism disguised as public health".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know the type.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's a nutcase,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and his movie had been dunked a hundred times before by YouTubers already

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because for a while, this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which he claimed was the result of an atheist conspiracy on Reddit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole movie takes place in one house

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to explain how non-Christian Christmas traditions

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
had actually been Christian all along.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like how Christmas trees were God's idea

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because God created trees.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the ability to buy gifts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is God's gift to humanity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just boring.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just a boring movie where nothing happens

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and everyone is just sitting or standing around

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not doing anything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is when all the extras have an epic dance party at the end.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ (Angels we have heard on high, trap remix style) ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fant-four-stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands in the same movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The writers disagreed on everything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The director Josh Trank slept with a loaded gun on him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because he got death threats for casting Michael B. Jordan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fox executives had whole scenes cut out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because they thought his version was too dark.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Trank also put out a tweet before the movie came out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
basically disowning it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The end result of all of this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was an ugly, boring mess of a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They don't even have them become superheroes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
until halfway thru the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and most of the time they're just standing around

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
talking and not doing anything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can see the remnants of a decent movie in here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like in this scene where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But we'll never know what the movie was supposed to be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because nobody cares.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's no one out there saying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
hashtag release the trank cut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want them to go see just a really great movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Something that is different from…uh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dr. Doom is one of the top 5 greatest characters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that ever come off a comic book—panel.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Science is really cool and this is something that…hopefully…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So 2015 was another tie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with Fifty Shades of Grey also being awarded Worst Picture.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is another movie where I"m like,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's based on an erotic novel that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the stars have no chemistry

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and nothing about their relationship is believable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie spawned that Love Me Like You Do song

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's haunted retail workers for almost a decade now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just a bad movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's boring and bad and it made over 500 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so rather than repeat the same things that a 100 other YouTubers have said

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'll just leave you with a little mental image.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See, this movie came out on Valentine's Day 2015.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from Sugar Land, Texas

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who went to see this at the local AMC on Valentine's Day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize Kayllynn giving Greg a dry handjob

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at the back of the theater, 40 minutes into the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize them going to Applebees after

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and eating a slightly burned chicken breast

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and some unseasoned broccoli.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize—

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you don't know already,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dinesh D'Souza is a far-right political commentator

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who's been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and was sentenced to 5 years probation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During which, he made Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Released in the summer of 2016,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hillary's America is a movie that claims it's a documentary

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but aside from a few news clips and some scripted-sounding interviews,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
much of the movie is either historical reenactments

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or D'Souza talking to terrible actors

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and trying to pass it off as documentary footage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie opens with D'Souza being sentenced for fraud

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he claims was a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and from there he goes to prison

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and starts interviewing other prisoners about how gangs work

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, gangs are[br]all about stealing, man.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What's the biggest gang?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right in your face.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Politicians, man.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- How does a gang make money?[br]- Any way they can, you know?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Trafficking, smuggling,[br]stealing, extortion,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, but how do they pull it off?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Later on, he visits the Democratic National Headquarters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and it's all done up to look like a high-tech museum

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for the glory of the Democratic Party.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and breaks into the secret archives

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to reveal the secret information

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that is literally in the curriculum of 8th Grade US History.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like, "Hey guys, did you know that most of the slaveowners in the Civil War were Democrats?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wow, isn't that crazy? How come no one's talking about this?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The sad truth is this movie sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets when it came out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible Americans saw this in theaters.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And many probably dragged their impressionable kids to see it with them

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when all those kids wanted to do was play the new Pokémon Go game that just came out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's depressing to think about.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
2016 was a very dark time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I try to figure out how we get them to have Pokémon Go do the polls.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey guys, I'm sorry, I can't talk about the Emoji Movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You see, on a hot summer day in 2017, I actually saw The Emoji Movie in theaters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in a room full of screaming, sugared up children.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And if you think this movie looks bad enough on its own,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
try watching it completely sober

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
while a 7 year old kicks the back of your chair the whole time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I just can't relive the trauma of that day again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I pass this one off to the trash guy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Young Junko. He was the best lawyer who ever lived.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But decidingly the hammer of justice made him his walnut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And under the pressure, he cracked.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
By his side, he had only left this note.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sad face, cry face, trash can, water gun, squirt, sad face.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Watch the Emoji Movie in theaters for more info.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Emoji Movie is like the cinematic equivalent

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of seeing an ad for Cricket Wireless on the side of the bus.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's the same artistic merit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's hard not to look at this movie without

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
thinking of the evolution of 3D animation as a craft

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the last four years, the way the medium improved over time,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not just in fidelity, but the heartfelt boundary-pushing storytelling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that made animated characters come across as more tangible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And exploring the worlds they inhabited in a surreal way,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and all that led to this, a movie about emojis.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On a kid's cell phone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's so impersonal, it's not like Toy Story,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where Andy and the Toys have a clear relationship.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In Emoji Land, you get scanned whenever the kid picks you for the text message.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like why is this kid only texting in emojis?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's like a little man slut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole plot being, he wants to text a girl in his class,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and that's it. He has no connection to any of these main central characters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they're just a button on his phone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's so pointless.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The world's not interesting at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The main character, Gene, is supposed to be the Meh emoji,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but he's malfunctioning, so he goes on a quest with Hand Emoji

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Jailbreak, an elite emo hacker girl emoji with blue hair

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who can access the cloud and see all the Rule 34 of herself

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
made over the years.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Oh![br]- [Hand] Suck it in!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, stop it!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Junko] It's a movie made specifically for

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
loud drunk parents circa 2017 to take their iPad kids to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so they can run around the theater and pick their ass

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
while they shove a bunch of ads up their eyeballs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You've got whole scenes explaining Candy Crush,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just Dance, and Spotify.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's as shameless and corporate as an animated movie could possibly be.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sure some belligerently wasted parent in the theater

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
howled with laughter as James Corden, Hand Emoji, said "Bye Felicia."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Bye Felicia!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Junko] I wouldn't know though, because the first time I saw Emoji Movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was at 2 AM on a hacked Amazon Fire Stick

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
plugged into my friend's portable CRT.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's just about the viewing experience this movie deserves.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] But hey, for as much as a soulless cash grab that the Emoji Movie was,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there is one good thing about it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that's that it is inadvertently responsible

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for causing Jordan Peele to make Get Out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Holmes & Watson was the much anticipated reunion

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
between John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a duo that starred in a couple of smash hit comedies in the mid-2000s.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So when this movie released to atrocious reviews,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it left some people scratching their heads wondering

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how two guys who worked so well together before,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
could fuck up a movie this bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And trust me, no matter what your sense of humor is,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this movie is bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not funny, at all,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not even a little bit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just boring and hard to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right, I know. He's an onanist.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- What's an onanist?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He pours his own tea.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He likes to create his own sauce.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He is a saucier.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the name of his restaurant is Crotch Kitchen.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On a daily basis, he creams his own eclair.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] The plot is impossible to follow,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the jokes fall flat on its face,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and some of the jokes were already dated

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by the time this movie came out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Compared to Tallaadega Nights and Stepbrothers,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
everything about their delivery here just feels off.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the blame probably rests on writer-director Etan Cohen.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not to be confused with Ethan Coen.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Etan Cohen is a writer who built a pretty decent resumé

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the 90s and the 2000s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and decided to branch out into directing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with Get Hard in 2015.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Holmes & Watson was his second attempt at directing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and possibly his last

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the movie just barely didn't break even.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And since its release, Cohen seems to turn exclusively to writing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My theory is, the man didn't know how to direct Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He just got them together and assumed it'd be enough to carry the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because the whole thing feels like he just dressed them up in Victorian Era clothes and said

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Just do whatever you want. We'll edit it down to just the funny parts."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And then surprise.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
None of it was funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Holmes] You know what I've found,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to take the most attractive photographs,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you need to purse your lips together like a duck-billed platypus.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Watson] Platypus face!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Chins up!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey, girl!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cats is a hilarious movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is so funny for all the wrong reasons.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I saw this in theaters when it came out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
after a couple of very powerful weed gummies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and it is an experience I will remember for the rest of my life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's unlike any other movie ever made.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It really is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's dinner and a show.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Wuddly-wah, wuddly-wah ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ A-dooba-dooba-doo ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Tak-pity-pak-pity-pak ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Released at the tail end of 2019,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cats was an act of pure hubris from director Tom Hooper,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was well known in Hollywood at this point for directing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the King's Speech, Les Misérables, and The Danish Girl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well I guess Tommy Boy got pretty full of himself after all those award-winners,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because for his next project, he proceeded to blow a hundred million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on a film adaptation of Cats: The Musical.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Behind the scenes, Hooper rushed the movie out the door

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so it could release in time for Christmas.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And in the process, treated the animators like complete shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anonymous sources later reported that Hooper knew nothing about animation,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
made them work 90-hour weeks for months,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and was horrible, disrespectful, demeaning, and condescending

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
toward everyone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
One source said that Hooper talked to the animators

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like they were garbage

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and even compared their time working on cats to slavery.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's been a few years now since Cats released,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Tom Hooper hasn't been heard from since.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I think it's safe to say that those allegations were completely true

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and he won't be making a comeback any time soon.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At this point, I'd like to play you a song from the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but YouTube would probably demonetize me if I did that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So instead I'm gonna play you a public service announcement from the 80s.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Accident? An accident?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There was a child in the car.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A child?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cats have 9 lives, children only one,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
help them live their life, buckle them into a car seat,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
no one wants a child to become a memory.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Memory, all alone in the moonlight. ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So Absolute Proof is not a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For the first time in Razzie history,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Razzies gave Worst Picture

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to something that was not a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is a 2-hour long special

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that aired on One America News in February 2021

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where Mike Lindell, the MyPillow guy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
bought airtime to prove that the 2020 election was hacked by China,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
using statistics that were proven to be fake,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and interviewing experts that don't have any real credentials.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This special was also uploaded on YouTube,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but was quickly taken down for spreading false information.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was hoping it would at least be unintentionally funny,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but it's just really boring to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- It's mostly the MyPillow guy saying[br]- Woah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
talking about voting data that was given to him by a fraudster.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At one point, he brings out a guy who claims he invented e-mail.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, from creating e-mail and all these systems.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I know the power of machines.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, he created e-mails. The creator of e-mails.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know, I don't have anything to say about this one.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this is also not a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Diana The Musical is a Broadway show

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that was planned to open on March 31st, 2020.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Obviously, that didn't pan out, but in summer of 2020

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they were able to get the cast together to make a recording of the show.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
With heavy COVID restrictions and with no audience, of course.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then, for some bizarre reason,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they decided to release that recording [br]on Netflix on October 2021

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a whole month before the show reopened on Broadway.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Obviously, this was the dumbest possible thing they could've ever done

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because why would anyone who wasn't a hardcore House Windsor stan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pay over a hundred dollars for a Broadway ticket to this cringefest

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when they could just watch the cringefest for free at home.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This show was a complete flop,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
performing to a half-full theater every night for a month,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
until the producer put the show out of its misery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and cancelled it on December 19.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even if it hadn't been dumped on Netflix before it opened,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it still would've probably flopped

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it's every bit as tone deaf as the title suggests.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The lyrics sound like a 14 year old girl saw Hamilton and Newsies a few times

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and was like, "Oh my gosh, I could do that too!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
except it wasn't written by a 14 year old girl,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was written by a Tony Award-winning playwright in his 50s.

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Here is just a sample of some of the lyrics this show throws at you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Alright, I'm no intellect. ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ But maybe there's a discotheque ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ where the prince could hear some Prince ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ and we'd all get funkadelic ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ You thought I was a ninny, ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ you could mold me as you like. ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ Well the skinny on that ninny ♫

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♫ is she's really rather bright. ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ I just got a ticket to the main event ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ It's the Thrilla in Manila but with Diana and Camilla ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Directed by eccentric auteur Andrew Dominik,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Blonde is the most recent Worst Picture as the time I made this video

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and probably the most controversial winner since Showgirls.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a nearly 3 hour long, NC-17 rated movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about the life of Marilyn Monroe

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that takes extreme liberties with her life story

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as it's actually based on a historical fiction novel

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by Joyce Carol Oates.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The reviews of this thing were all over the place.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When it premiered at the Venice Film Festival,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it received a 14-minute long standing ovation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and early critic reviews were extremely positive.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then it released on Netflix a few weeks later

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the drama started.

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On the positive end, the movie got praised for its stunning cinematography

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and for Anna De Armas' performance as Monroe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On the negative end, the movie was criticized for being

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
exploitative, sexist, and dehumanizing,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and for brutally depicting Marilyn Monroe

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as a helpless girl relentlessly abused by the Hollywood system

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when her real life story was much more complicated than that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it certainly doesn't help that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Andrew Dominik doubled down on it, after the film's release,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
saying, "Criticism only hurts if you agree with it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I didn't agree with any of it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She's dead, the movie doesn't make any difference to her one way or another.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What they mean is that the film exploited their memory of her, the image of her,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which is fair enough. It does. That's the whole point of the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's the whole problem with Marilyn Monroe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Everybody feels like they know her and what's best for her."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know about you guys,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I could speak on this movie more,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but I don't want to.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is the last movie on this list

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I'm tapping out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't wanna see any of you in the comments saying,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Oh, Eva tapping out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Eva not giving her real opinion.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're being evasive.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can't do that."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank god this is over.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My eyeballs and my brain are absolutely fried right now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't have a single thought left in my head.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But let me go ahead and summarize my thoughts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by sorting all these movies into 4 categories.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
These categories are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Boring Bad, Funny Bad, Not That Bad,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Crimes against Humanity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And there we go.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I am Evasive,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
thank you for my Patreon supporters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
thank you to all of you for watching,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and thank you so much to my guests

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for contributing to this video.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And hey, Razzie people, if you're watching,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hi.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Invite me to the show sometime, maybe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Honestly I think you guys are a little cringey

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and you've made some very questionable decisions in the past

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but like…I don't care.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the meantime, we're going to do

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
literally anything else besides watching movies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know what I'm gonna do.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm gonna look at some clouds.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ooh, and touch grass.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh I can't remember the last time I touched grass.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm gonna go outside, look at some clouds,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and touch grass.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok, bye guys.