1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,380 What's up cinephiles, I'm Evasive, 2 00:00:02,380 --> 00:00:05,769 and this piece of paper right here means two things: 3 00:00:05,769 --> 00:00:08,510 Number one, I am tens of thousands of 4 00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:09,820 dollars in debt, 5 00:00:09,820 --> 00:00:13,270 and number two, I know a lot about movies. 6 00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,561 And since it looks like the U.S government 7 00:00:14,561 --> 00:00:16,909 is not going to be giving me any debt relief this year, 8 00:00:16,909 --> 00:00:19,669 I have no choice now but to torture myself on the Internet 9 00:00:19,669 --> 00:00:21,649 for money to pay off the loans 10 00:00:21,649 --> 00:00:23,159 I took out to go to film school. 11 00:00:23,159 --> 00:00:24,006 (eEeEewWwWw!) 12 00:00:24,006 --> 00:00:26,566 So for this video, I watched every movie that's ever won 13 00:00:26,566 --> 00:00:29,006 a Razzie Award for Worst Picture of the Year. 14 00:00:29,006 --> 00:00:31,196 This was an extremely painful experience 15 00:00:31,196 --> 00:00:33,257 and I regretted my decision immediately, 16 00:00:33,257 --> 00:00:35,367 but for the sake of my adoring fans 17 00:00:35,367 --> 00:00:36,407 and my bank account, 18 00:00:36,407 --> 00:00:38,547 I went ahead and watched all 46 of these 19 00:00:38,547 --> 00:00:40,357 movies so I could explain them to you. 20 00:00:40,357 --> 00:00:43,027 But after the grueling experience of watching all these movies, 21 00:00:43,027 --> 00:00:45,247 I'm not about to tackle this breakdown alone. 22 00:00:45,247 --> 00:00:46,947 So I went ahead and roped in another video 23 00:00:46,947 --> 00:00:49,028 essay girly and a talking trash can 24 00:00:49,028 --> 00:00:51,047 to help explain some of these movies for me. 25 00:00:53,291 --> 00:00:56,331 But before I get to the movies, let me explain what the Razzies are. 26 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,469 The Golden Raspberry Awards are an annual event, 27 00:01:02,469 --> 00:01:04,579 usually held the night before the Oscars, 28 00:01:04,579 --> 00:01:06,959 to give out awards for the worst movies of the year. 29 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,059 It was founded by Hollywood copywriter 30 00:01:09,059 --> 00:01:11,389 John Wilson and editor Maureen Murphy. 31 00:01:11,389 --> 00:01:12,899 The idea for the Razzies came about 32 00:01:12,899 --> 00:01:14,699 in 1980 when Wilson saw 33 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,899 Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu 34 00:01:16,899 --> 00:01:18,813 back to back and hated them both 35 00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:20,084 so much he thought there ought 36 00:01:20,084 --> 00:01:21,958 to be an award show for this type of thing. 37 00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:23,458 Months later, Wilson hosted an 38 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,358 Oscars watch party at his house, 39 00:01:25,358 --> 00:01:27,408 and after the Oscars had finished, 40 00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:29,958 he and Murphy passed out ballots to everyone at the party to vote 41 00:01:29,958 --> 00:01:31,578 on the worst movies of the year, 42 00:01:31,578 --> 00:01:33,888 and then he announced the winners in his living room. 43 00:01:33,888 --> 00:01:36,008 Over time, the ceremony grew and grew, 44 00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,494 and today they're considered a staple 45 00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:39,134 of the Hollywood award season 46 00:01:39,134 --> 00:01:41,384 as a low-budget Bizarro World Oscars 47 00:01:41,384 --> 00:01:43,346 that distributes awards in categories 48 00:01:43,346 --> 00:01:45,516 such as Worst Actor, Worst Director, 49 00:01:45,516 --> 00:01:46,946 and Worst Screenplay. 50 00:01:46,946 --> 00:01:49,626 Unlike the qualifications for voting at the Oscars, though, 51 00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:51,826 becoming a Razzie voter is very easy: 52 00:01:51,826 --> 00:01:53,925 either be friends with one of the producers 53 00:01:53,925 --> 00:01:56,365 or just pay a $40 membership fee. 54 00:01:56,365 --> 00:01:58,095 That's all it takes. 55 00:01:58,095 --> 00:01:59,785 So that's the story of the Razzies. 56 00:01:59,785 --> 00:02:01,858 Now, are you ready to learn about every single movie 57 00:02:01,858 --> 00:02:03,608 that won Worst Picture? 58 00:02:04,838 --> 00:02:05,798 Because I wasn't. 59 00:02:05,798 --> 00:02:08,796 There's 46 of these things, so I'm going to talk about each one 60 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,049 just a minute or two 61 00:02:10,049 --> 00:02:11,536 and hand off a few to my guests 62 00:02:11,536 --> 00:02:13,656 so I don't completely lose my mind here. 63 00:02:13,656 --> 00:02:16,186 Also, I put a content warning on a bunch of these movies 64 00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:18,596 because of the sensitive subject matter I discuss. 65 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:22,029 Not trying to traumatize anybody but myself in this video... 66 00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:24,276 well, me and my guests. 67 00:02:25,109 --> 00:02:27,489 But I commissioned them for this, so i-- it's fine. 68 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Anybody who can swallow two snowballs and a ding-dong 69 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 shouldn't have any trouble with pride. 70 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] The first movie to win Worst Picture was "Can't Stop The Music". 71 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 A movie about the "origins" of the disco group "Village People". 72 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I say origins in air-quotes because the Village People play themselves 73 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the plot is completely made-up 74 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and not at all how the Village People actually formed 75 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The movie itself is super campy and full of these crazy musical numbers 76 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that are unironically kinda great. 77 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just too bad that in between those musical numbers are these scenes 78 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with really terrible acting that go on for way too long. 79 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Wait a minute! I am not taking one more step 'til I know where I'm going." 80 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Yeah, quit my job, and you got me walking the beat again!" 81 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - "And I'm not even getting paid for it!" - "Hey, hold your horses." 82 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I told ya I had a surprise for ya." 83 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I hope so. I turned in my coin change with the toll booth." 84 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] By 1980 the disco fad was almost over and 85 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 people loved to hate on disco music at the time 86 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so you can see why this ended up being such a huge bomb. 87 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also, shockingly, this movie marks the first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner 88 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and apparently the experience was so bad 89 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 she didn't appear in a movie again until "Jack & Jill 2011". 90 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And, uh, well. 91 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Mommie Dearest is a "biopic" 92 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 about the life of actress Joan Crawford's adopted daughter Christina. 93 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Again, I say biopic in air-quotes because the movie was based on 94 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Christina Crawford's controversial memoir 95 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that other members of Joan Crawford's family disavowed when it came out. 96 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I haven't done much research on the topic 97 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so I'm in no position to question this story. 98 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I will say that after the movie was made 99 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Christina said the film was grotesque and not true to her memoir. 100 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Released just 4 years after Joan Crawford passed away, 101 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this movie basically spits all over her fresh grave 102 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and portrays her as a horrible mother 103 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who frequently, physically and emotionally abused her daughter. 104 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Whether or not this is actually true is still a matter of debate. 105 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Regardless of the real-life circumstances behind the movie, 106 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Faye Dunway's performance of Joan Crawford is iconic now. 107 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 People who have unfortunately experienced emotional abuse from a parent 108 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 found her performance scarily true to their own life experiences 109 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but general audiences thought she was just being outrageously campy 110 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and over the top the whole movie. 111 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because of its reputation, the movie became a queer cult classic over the years 112 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 especially in the drag community. 113 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was even featured in the most recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race. 114 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "No wire hangers!" 115 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ♫ No more wire hangers ♫ ♫ Ah, ah! ♫ 116 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫ ♫ No, no, no, no ♫ 117 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Inchon is a movie about the battle of Incheon in the Korean War. 118 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was financed and produced by the Unification Church, 119 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a movement that was and still is considered a dangerous cult 120 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with a leader who called himself the second coming of Jesus Christ. 121 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The film's producer was a very wealthy member of the church. 122 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He said he was instructed by God to make the film. 123 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted any part of this. 124 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 All 46 million dollars of the budget was provided by the church and its followers. 125 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The film itself doesn't have much to do with the Unification Church. 126 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a straightforward war movie that's just boring and unremarkable. 127 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It had some star power but only because the actors in it were paid a lot of money. 128 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 With Laurence Olivier even admitting before the movie was released 129 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that he was only in it for the money. 130 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was such a flop that no one even bothered to release it on home media. 131 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The only available version of the movie today 132 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was from an old VHS rip from when it played on Unification Church TV channel. 133 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The only thing worth seeing in this movie was Laurence Olivier's makeup job. 134 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean he looks like the Joker. 135 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie is just tasteless. 136 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins 137 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who was paid 600 000 dollars for the film rights 138 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and apparently fell asleep in the screening room 139 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and never actually watched the movie. 140 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 First of all, in the first 15 minutes, 141 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 young Ray Liotta, in his first ever movie role, 142 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sexually assaults the main character with a garden hose. 143 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After that the rest of the movie is just her being forced to have sex 144 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with gross older men in order to get ahead in Hollywood. 145 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And you see all of it. 146 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It seems like it was trying to criticize sexism in Hollywood 147 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but instead of handling it with any kind of nuance or respect, 148 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the movie fully shows the sex scenes 149 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and does the very thing it's trying to critique. 150 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The final scene of the movie shows her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay 151 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and calling out the men who took advantage of her 152 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in her acceptance speech. 153 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then she's booed off stage, and leaves, and the movie just ends there. 154 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's really uncomfortable to watch. 155 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But somehow the next movie is even worse. 156 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ugh, god, ok. 157 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Bolero is a movie by John Derek. 158 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 John Derek is— (groan) 159 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 John Derek was an old Hollywood actor 160 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who appeared in supporting roles in several big movies in the 1940s and 50s. 161 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old, 162 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he traveled to Europe to direct a low-budget movie called 163 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Once upon a Love" starring a 16 year old girl named 164 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Mary Cathleen Collins". 165 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 During the production— (retching) 166 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm sorry. 167 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 During the production, John Derek left his wife 168 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and groomed Mary Collins into a sexual relationship, 169 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 With the two staying in Europe until she turned 18 170 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so he could avoid statutory (censor beep) charges. 171 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When they got married a few years later, she changed her name to Bo Derek 172 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and proceeded to star in all of his movies until he died in 1998. 173 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (retching) (vomit squelching) 174 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm sorry. 175 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So anyway, Bolero was a movie about a young woman fresh from college 176 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who travels to Morocco in Spain to lose her virginity. 177 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If that wasn't bad enough, 178 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this movie features a full-frontal nudity scene with a 14 year old girl. 179 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl. 180 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 An actual 14 year old girl. 181 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (retching, vomit squelching) (coughing) 182 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you've never seen any Rambo movies before 183 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the image you probably associate with the word "Rambo" 184 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is the one where hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone 185 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is firing a machine gun without a shirt on. 186 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But see, that's actually from this movie, "Rambo First Blood: Part II", 187 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which has very little to do with Part 1 at all. 188 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The whole point of the first Rambo movie was that 189 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran with severe PTSD 190 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who snaps and kills a bunch of small-time cops who treat him like shit. 191 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This sequel, on the other hand 192 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 throws that tragic anti-war character out the window 193 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as the US government sends him back to Vietnam 194 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to locate prisoners of war 195 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and Rambo is weirdly ok with that. 196 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's like he immediately got over his PTSD 197 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and just got straight to blowing stuff up, no problem. 198 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie was a massive box office success 199 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and made double of what the first movie made, 200 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so naturally, Rambo III also ditched the anti-war angle 201 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and sent Rambo to Afghanistan. 202 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I dunno if someone thought the first movie was amazing, 203 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it really sucks to see how quickly they ruined this character. 204 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But, like, I get it. 205 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The people who went to see these sequels in theaters 206 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 didn't watch it for the plot. 207 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They watched to see Sylvester Stallone do this. 208 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (bow twang) (explosion) 209 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In the early 80s, Prince was a rising star. 210 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And his stardom was cemented in 1984 211 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with the massive hit that was Purple Rain. 212 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After the success of Purple Rain, 213 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Warner Brothers told Prince he was basically allowed to do anything he wanted for his next project, 214 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon without even reading the script 215 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the story is, Prince plays a guy in the French Rivier named Christopher 216 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He and his friend Tricky try to scam a rich girl out of her inheritance 217 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but they both end up falling in love with her. 218 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Problem with the movie became apparent early on 219 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 when Prince hired someone with no experience to write the script. 220 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then 16 days into filming, the director quit. 221 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And Prince took over even though he had no experience directing a movie before. 222 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The end result was a movie that features what I can only describe as 223 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Acting. 224 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Don't try anything funny. Not this time, Christopher." 225 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I want the money or I throw you both out onto the street." 226 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (gasp) 227 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "That's right, [inaudible]" 228 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Throw me onto the street?" 229 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's bizarre, it's one of those movies where the acting is so bad it loops around to being funny 230 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which has given the movie a bit of a cult following over the years 231 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that and the soundtrack is amazing 232 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like with Purple Rain Prince released an album with the movie that went Platinum 233 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and is today remembered as one of the most iconic movies of his career 234 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After Under the Cherry Moon failed, Prince tried one more time to direct a feature-length movie 235 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but that one got nominated for a bunch of Razzies too 236 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and after that he gave up and never tried to direct a movie again. 237 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also this here marks the first ever tie in Razzies history with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with 238 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) Howard the Duck. 239 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) 240 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Greetings, Evasive viewers, it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law 241 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I'm here to defend my client Howard T. Duck, 242 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, Howard The Duck 243 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 For nearly the last 40 years my client's reputation has been tarnished and slandered against 244 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by quack punch, chicken shit critics for this tragic box office bomb. 245 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Central character, the Duck, the one that we're gonna be rooting for, 246 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he's neither funny, or bit of funny." 247 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I'm here to clear the air. 248 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Howard the Duck is not a movie, no, it's a documentary. 249 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I know this because I was there. 250 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We all were. 251 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My entire clan witnessed my client crash land on Earth 252 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to star in a motion picture that of which has been 253 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's still awful. It's bad. We're not winning this case, buddy. 254 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I wasn't trying anything. Honest!" 255 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is a strange movie to say the least. 256 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of 257 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds. 258 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But the rest of the movie is this whiplash 259 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie 260 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny 261 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and 262 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew. 263 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Howard…" 264 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and the kids' [inaudible] properly yet 265 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so [inaudible] becomes this overly long bland comedy 266 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with hardly any intentional laughs 267 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then 268 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - [Howard] Oh! - I just can't resist your 269 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 intense animal magnetism. 270 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck" 271 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck." 272 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck. 273 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's a duck name. That's a name you give a duck. 274 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering 275 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there's no funny interactions or observations or memorable bits 276 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's just an aimless movie with the guy in the duck suit. 277 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You have an entire portion of the movie 278 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where Howard has a job as a towel boy in a sex club 279 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's fun for the whole family! 280 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, Breeders, what the hell. 281 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Bareback bestiality and pedophilia. 282 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [inaudible] as a result of a [inaudible] incident. 283 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Which also [inadubile] a Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert. 284 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Whaddya think you'd like to eat?" 285 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I no longer need human food." 286 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I need little boy butts. 287 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You have a movie where a talking duck fires a giant laser 288 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 at a hell portal to stop a horde of alien warlords 289 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 from taking over the Earth 290 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and they still manage to make it a total snooze fest 291 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They try to give Howard a bit of edge 292 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but he still feels too kiddy and sanitized for what they're going for 293 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And part of that is his design. 294 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He looks like a cross of a Furby and Mac Culkin. 295 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There are some things I did like, 296 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like these alien overlords are pretty cool 297 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 their design and their stop motion is really well done 298 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the sequence where Howard gets shot into space 299 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is pretty neat, pretty impressive to look at. 300 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I like this sequence where Howard and [inaudible] get a [inaudible] 301 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and start flying away from the cops 302 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that was good. 303 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, Tim Robins is in this 304 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Imagine having what's considered one of the best movies of all time as part of your portfolio 305 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and then on the other end of the spectrum having Howard the Duck, 306 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 now that's range 307 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Genuinely I was taken aback because some of the shots in this movie 308 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 undeniably go hard. 309 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I feel like there's a version of this movie that could've actualy been good with less work 310 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like if they leaned into Howard being this cynical wise-cracking duck 311 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's down on his luck who gets thrust into Earth and finds this strange new realm 312 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 isn't so much different from his own 313 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 then it's all about the bills baby put it on my belt 314 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [inaudible] taking that as an opportunity for a fresh start, 315 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder 316 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 until becoming a national celebrity that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed 317 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 then maybe having begrudgingly involved in some of the weird sci-fi stuff like the comics, i dunno 318 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm not sure how to defend my client, give him the chair. 319 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (Howard screams) 320 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (Evasive laughing) 321 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, I may not be able to defend Howard, 322 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine 323 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is proven innocent. 324 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cosby. 325 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Bill Co-Bill Cosby. 326 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw. We're done here. We're done. 327 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's Leonard, part 6. 328 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ask anyone who's seen this movie they'll tell you 329 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit 330 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When I heard there was a comedy movie 331 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that just started on part 6 332 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I thought, hey, maybe this movie could be bad in a good way, at the very least 333 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Nope, it's just bad, it's boring, it's so boring. 334 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If there's one thing Cosby was always a master at 335 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's making people very sleepy. 336 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The whole thing was supposed to be a spoof on the spy genre, 337 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sorta like Naked Gun, except they actually came out a year before that movie 338 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They really just had the cameras rolling and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted 339 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's a bunch of weird sex shit 340 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean the clues are all there, 341 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in the movie his wife divorced him because he slept with a 19 year old 342 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and his daughter is dating a much older man to further her career as an actress 343 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so then Leonard has to see her flash her tits on stage 344 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for no reason, none of these scenes add anything to the movie 345 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I think Cosby just wanted to look at some young girl tits 346 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The whole film has this lethargic and slow energy to it 347 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Everything from the dialogue to the editing, 348 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed. 349 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The movie opens with Leonard and an assassin having a little shootout in a kitchen 350 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The joke being that what they're doing is actually helping to prep some of the food 351 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all is so bizarrely off by a step 352 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Every gag and bit is like this, like they took something that was 353 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best and spread it so thin that 354 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you ask yourself was there even a joke at all to begin with? 355 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The plot follows Leonard being the best agent in the world 356 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who's long been retired after being pulled back for one last mission 357 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 after a buncha animals under mind control start killing people 358 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts of with an animal looking at a porno mag 359 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Here's two fucking nickels 360 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The entire first half is him just stumbling around tryna get back with his ex wife 361 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who pours soup on him—what is this gag? 362 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby? You think this was genuinely funny? 363 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [mocking] We'll have him pour soup. 364 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Cosby doesn't have a single funny line or hook to his character 365 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you can tell he's put zero effort into any of this 366 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie but I don't wanna look too stupid, 367 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 don't make me look too stupid." 368 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Most of these so-called jokes are what the most boring uptight person in the world would think being silly is. 369 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [mocking] Oh, look, wow he's being a ballerina, so girly. 370 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, how can he subject himself to that. 371 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh, wee, it's like he thinks these things are so beneath him 372 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that just him doing it would be funny. 373 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What a piece of shit. 374 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know what really makes me mad, though? 375 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's completely unfair. Because everyone seems to be trying, but him. 376 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's a part where Leonard tries to free all the animals from captivity, 377 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I just wanna recognize this bird right here. 378 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars of his cage with his beak and breaks free 379 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 God bless this bird. 380 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This bird put more effort than Bill Cosby in his own movie. 381 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This bird did not deserve to be in one of the worst movies of all time. 382 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 None of these animals did. 383 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed with a sex criminal grinding his pudding pop on its back. 384 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If audiences in 1987 hated this, watching it now, 385 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with all the humor naturally diluted even further to the passage of time 386 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is like drinking a 40 year old can of new coke 387 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and when Bill's the one handing you the drink 388 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's safe to say you probably shouldn't drink it 389 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (gurgling) 390 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise plays a bartender in Manhattan 391 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 then he movies to Jamaica and falls in love with a girl 392 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but then he loses her and moves back to New York to win her back 393 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and that's pretty much it. 394 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What you see is what you get with this one. 395 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a really mediocre movie. 396 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not that good, but not that bad either. 397 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Well except for this scene where Tom Cruise stands on a bar 398 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and reads his shitty poetry. 399 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is pretty cringey. 400 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make." 401 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake." 402 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) 403 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay iced tea the kamikaze, 404 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (hollering) the sex on the beach is Schnapps made from peach 405 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the ball and hammer the Alabama slammer." 406 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring, this movie was a massive success, 407 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget. 408 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's also the movie the Beach Boys "Kokomo" song was written for. 409 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Besides that, not much to talk about here. 410 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture because this was the year Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture 411 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the voters probably thought it was funny to make both the Best and Worst Picture be Tom Cruise movies. 412 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok before making this video, I haven't actually watched any Star Trek at all. 413 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But because I'm committed to my craft, I went ahead and watched all 6 original movies 414 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just so I can understand why this one is considered the worst. 415 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 After all that, I—yeah. I get it now. 416 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's not a horrible movie but especially compared to the previous ones in the series, 417 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Star Trek V is pretty bad. 418 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Pretty much everything went wrong behind the scenes. 419 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 William Shatner directed it with no prior directing experience 420 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 nobody could agree on anything during the writing process, 421 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there was a writers' strike 422 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 then a Teamsters strike 423 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They shot a lot of the movie in the Mojave Desert 424 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which is just as miserable as it sounds. 425 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And after the filming was done, they only had 3 months to make the special effects, 426 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and all the best special effects technicians in Hollywood were busy making 427 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Indiana Jones 3 and Ghostbusters II at the time. 428 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Do I think this movie deserved Worst Picture? 429 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No. 430 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It does some wacky things like introduce Spock's long-lost brother that he never mentioned before 431 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or show Kirk getting mauled by a cat woman. 432 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But overall I really don't think it's that bad. 433 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But to be honest, I'm not a Trekkie who had to see 434 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt" 435 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 …So…I mean…is that bad? 436 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I actually don't know. 437 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can someone in the comments tell me if that's bad, if that's out of character? 438 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I actually don't know if I'm supposed to be mad at this or not. 439 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a "comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay. 440 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is, he was a comedian most active in the late 80s and early 90s 441 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who was known as the Dice Man, 442 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which was basically a cover for him to tell the most offensive jokes he possibly could. 443 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "And they're always on parade." 444 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "They march down the street with t-shirts and flags saying 445 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'I want money for AIDS disease.' Beautiful. 446 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want money for a fucking car, I ain't marching up and down the street 447 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Get a job, butt slammer." 448 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] The movie itself is about a detective, I guess, 449 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I dunno, it's just not funny at all. 450 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Honestly I was on my phone the whole time because I was just so bored. 451 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - "I got something serious to discuss." 452 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?" (laughing) 453 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Like that time we were at our parents' wedding anniversary, 454 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I told that joke, 'What's the definition of vagina? 455 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The box that peanuts come in!'" (laugh) 456 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gilbert Godfrey plays the only funny character in the movie 457 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but he dies like 25 minutes in and the rest is just a boring mess to follow. 458 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The director Renny Harlin was also working on Die Hard 2 at the time 459 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which ended up in theaters at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane 460 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and when you look at the money comparison between the two movies 461 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie he cared about more. 462 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Clint Eastwood. I fucked him. Oh!" 463 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] 1990 was another tie 464 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with Ford Fairlane tieing with another movie from unapologetic (censor beep) phile John Derek. 465 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman married to a much older man 466 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and when the older man dies, his ghost takes up residence in her head 467 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and goads her into murdering another man 468 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so he can possess his body and have sex with her again. 469 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a supernatural dirty old man movie 470 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where John Derek fantasizes about living rent-free in Bo Derek's head after he dies. 471 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Plus this ended up being his last movie. 472 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It would be poetic if it wasn't so disgusting. 473 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Bo was very very young. Linda was very young… 474 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I guess I just meet them young, 475 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 before they're wise enough to know I'm not the guy." 476 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Anyway the acting was bad, the story was bad, 477 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the visuals are bad, 478 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but the real cherry on top here was this movie 479 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was the first film appearance of Donald Trump. 480 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No joke, Trump's first movie was made by a (censor beep) phile. 481 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He even does a little duck face in it, look at him. 482 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Poetic. 483 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just watch this clip. 484 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Woah!" 485 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Happy (inaudible)" 486 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Oh no! How's my driving? 1800-I'm gonna-(censor beep)-die!" 487 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Bruce Willis plays a master burglar fresh out of prison who 488 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was blackmailed into stealing some art 489 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but it turns out it's all part of a conspiracy to build a secret machine 490 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 invented by Leonardo Da Vinci that can turn lead into gold. 491 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 At this point in his career, Bruce Willis was mainly known for Die Hard I and II. 492 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And was looking to branch out a bit with Hudson Hawk. 493 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But apparently he couldn't decide what he wanted the movie to be. 494 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In an interview, one of the writers later said: 495 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I started to know we were in trouble when Joel and Bruce would say during filming 496 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know what this is? This is a Pink Panther movie. 497 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The next day they'd say 498 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie. 499 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then it would be: You know what this is? This is North by Northwest. 500 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I even remember someone saying: 501 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know what this is? This is Casino Royale. 502 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Eventually I realized that if every day they were saying it was something different 503 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by the time we got to the editing room, we were gonna be in trouble. 504 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So yeah, the final product is all over the place, 505 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but the movie has developed a bit of a cult following over the years 506 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just because it's so…so silly 507 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - (screaming) - Honey? 508 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Ball ball? - Woof! 509 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (dog screaming) 510 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Here's another movie that's really not that bad. 511 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a World War II movie where Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman 512 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with no spy experience who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin 513 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because she wants to prove herself and save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding. 514 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Michael Douglas plays another spy 515 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and pre-Schindler's List Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer. 516 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Most of the complaints about the movie were aimed at how unbelievable Melanie Griffith is at being a spy 517 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because she was really bad at her job. 518 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and taking the German kids she's nannying 519 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to the building her cousins are hiding in" kind of bad 520 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But overall it's not that awful of a movie 521 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because the plot holes and writing problems are balanced out by a good soundtrack and good cinematography 522 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just average. 523 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not bad enough to be memorable but not good enough that you'd ever wanna watch it again. 524 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Basically the cinematic equivalent of eating at Denny's. 525 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I think 1992 was just a slow year for bad movies in general. 526 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That same year they also nominated Newsies for Worst Picture 527 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and Danny DeVito for Worst Supporting Actor 528 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like…what? Why? How? 529 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What? 530 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Once again, this is a movie that's not that bad. 531 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a drama where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore 532 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 play a financially struggling married couple in Vegas 533 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy 534 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who offers the couple 1 million dollars for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore. 535 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Honestly, it's fine. 536 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It takes itself very seriously and it's vaguely misogynistic at points. 537 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also it's completely unbelievable that a man who looks like Robert Redford 538 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 would pay a million dollars to sleep with someone. 539 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But in the context of the movie it all works. 540 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Definitely not the worst movie of the year that's for sure. 541 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean you're telling me that Indecent Proposal won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny wasn't even nominated? 542 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Razzie voters were asleep at the wheel this year. 543 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In this one Bruce Willis plays a psychologist who can't see the color red 544 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who gets wrapped up in a murder after his colleague 545 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 gets killed Assassin's Creed-style and he suspects it was someone in his therapy group. 546 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm so confused why it was even nominated for Worst Picture because this wasn't even a bad movie at all. 547 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's surreal and weird sure but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way that still makes it unsettling and fun to watch. 548 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me. 549 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno. 550 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is another one that became a cult hit after it was released on home video. 551 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Partly because of this crazy sex scene in a pool that everybody wanted to see 552 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was even streaming on Criterion Channel at one point 553 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which basically means that it's certified art. 554 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's all I have to say. 555 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies aren't even bad enough to complain about. 556 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's a lot to be said about Showgirls. 557 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven was the first to accept his Razzie award in person. 558 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And that's kind of funny. 559 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I'm very happy because it was much more fun than reading the reviews in September. Thank you. 560 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (clapping, cheering) 561 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad. 562 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's actually a great movie, in my opinion, and a lot of people agree. 563 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It is a wild movie about high budget Las Vegas strip shows 564 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And obviously with subject matter like that 565 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you're going to view the movie very differently 566 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 depending on your gender and sexuality. 567 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But regardless of what kind of person you are 568 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the experience of watching this movie is an absolute rollercoaster 569 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "One. Two. Three." 570 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it." 571 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Come on, thrust it." 572 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But for as over the top as this movie is it's also pretty true to life. 573 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 During his research, writer Joe [Esterhazs] interviewed 574 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas 575 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the result was a shockingly realistic depiction of the lives of high profile sex workers and performers 576 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And a biting satire against show business in general. 577 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Take a look at these tits. 578 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What are these, watermelons? 579 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch. 580 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 See ya. 581 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Your ears are sticking out. They are. 582 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Come back and see me when you get em fixed. 583 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 See ya. 584 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't. 585 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - MGM. - I'm impressed. 586 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Come back when you fuck some of those baby fat off. 587 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas, none of this is that shocking 588 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but in 1995 this was next level stuff. 589 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Plus with the subject matter, this movie has a lot of nudity. 590 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was rated NC-17 in America 591 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and to date it is the only NC-17 movie that was given a wide release in theaters. 592 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was so explicit and controversial that MGM had to hire security at every movie theater in America 593 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just to make sure nobody under the age of 18 snuck into the theater. 594 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The movie lost millions of dollars and to this day, no studio has ever dared to try and release an NC-17 movie in theaters again. 595 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If this sounds interesting to you, I actually really recommend giving this movie a watch 596 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because I can't really do it justice with just words alone. 597 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just know what you're getting into before you turn it on 598 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because this movie is every bit as traumatic as it is glamorous 599 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And actually to prove to you how much I like this movie, watch this. 600 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh. 601 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh. 602 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm a showgirl. 603 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm a showgirl, baby. 604 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm a showgirl. 605 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In the mid-90s, Demi Moore was one of the biggest film stars in the world. 606 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And the world was dying to know, what do Demi Moore's boobs look like? 607 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's actually the only reason this movie exists. 608 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars 609 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the most any woman had ever been paid for a movie role at the time 610 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just so she would star in this movie and show her boobs to the camera. 611 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie is like if Showgirls was actually bad. 612 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses her daughter in a custody battle 613 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and then becomes a stripper in Florida at a place called Eager Beaver 614 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to pay for a court appeal. 615 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She basically girlbosses being a stripper. 616 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not in a nuanced way like Showgirls though. 617 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But in a stupid way that it takes itself seriously 618 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and is mostly boring and not believable at all. 619 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Despite the bad reviews, the movie ended up being such a huge success 620 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the director-writer-producer Andrew Bergman basically quit Hollywood after this movie 621 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm pretty sure what happened is once he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless, 622 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he basically just phoned it in for the rest of the movie 623 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because clearly the audiences who were going to see this 624 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 weren't watching for the plot. 625 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But what can I say? 626 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's showbiz, baby. 627 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's…that's showbiz, baby. 628 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The Postman takes place in a distant future year of 2013 629 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 after much of humanity has been wiped out by a plague. 630 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Kevin Costner, who also directed the movie, 631 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion 632 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but he escapes and finds an old mail bag full of mail 633 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and pretends to be a mailman so he can get food 634 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and accidentally restarts the US postal service in the process 635 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also it's almost 3 hours long. 636 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Honestly, as most of post apocalyptic adventures go, this one isn't that bad. 637 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's about the same level of quality as Waterworld, actually. 638 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But the fact that it was a 3 hour long Kevin Costner vanity project, 639 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 released just a week after Titanic, 640 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 made it a very easy target for critics. 641 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What is Kevin Costner even up to, these days, anyway? 642 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (typing) Kevin Costner. 643 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin. 644 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you aren't familiar, the name Alan Smithee is a fake name the Director's Guild came up with in 1968 645 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that directors who wanted to take their name of a movie were required to use instead. 646 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And this movie caused such a headache that the Directors' Guild had to officially stop allowing the use of the Alan Smithee name in movies. 647 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok so this movie was written by Joe Eszterhas and was directed by Arthur Hiller. 648 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a mockumentary about a guy whose name was actually Alan Smithee 649 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that directs an action movie but he hates the finished product 650 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so he steals the film reels and holds them ransom 651 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because he wasn't allowed to take his name off it. 652 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now behind the scenes in real life, 653 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Joe Eszterhas was in charge of cutting Burn Hollywood Burn 654 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and when Arthur Hiller saw the final version 655 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he hated it so much he had his name taken off the movie 656 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But this of course created a confusion 657 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because this was a movie about Alan Smithee 658 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the poster said it was directed by Alan Smithee 659 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which you would assume was just a joke 660 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but no, the director actually had his name taken off the movie. 661 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It would take me so long to explain everything that's wrong with this movie 662 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so let me just sum it up in four words. 663 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not funny. 664 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Didn't laugh. 665 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's way too many characters, 666 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the movie jumps all over the place 667 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Harvey Weinstein is in it. 668 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Eew." 669 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's lots of not funny parts where the camera freeze frames 670 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and there's a wall of text on screen. 671 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm guessing what happened is they filmed all these scenes separately 672 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and thought they were hilarious on set 673 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but when they got to the editing room they realized they had nothing to work with 674 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it by adding a bunch of text edit jokes 675 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which actually made the movie worse. 676 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I have no proof of this of course but it seems right to me. 677 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'd probably do the same thing in that situation. 678 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok so this is a Western steampunk fusion movie 679 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 starring the Fresh Prince and the guy who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers 680 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as cowboy government agents who hunt down an evil ex-Confederate officer with no legs 681 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant with a giant robot spider. 682 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That's what this movie is. 683 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (hooting) 684 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie is ridiculous. 685 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know what the executives at Warner Bros. were snorting in the board room 686 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 when they decided to spend over a 170 million dollars 687 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 on a movie where cowboy Will Smith fights a huge mecha spider 688 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but thank god they did because Will Smith turned down playing Neo in the Matrix to do this movie 689 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I'd like you to imagine what it would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix. 690 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I probably would have messed the Matrix up. 691 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I would've ruined it. 692 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I did y'all a favor. 693 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This might not be a "good" movie 694 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but oh my god it's so funny. 695 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Plus the theme song is pretty fire. 696 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If I may quote one of the great gangster rappers, William Will Smith, 697 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, wicki wicki wild 698 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild wild west. 699 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west. 700 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Do you find those lyrics inspiring? 701 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean, I… 702 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Battlefield Earth is an action sci-fi movie based on a novel written by Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology 703 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which he wrote in 1982 when he was in hiding to avoid going to prison for his numerous crimes. 704 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's about a distant future world where humanity has been enslaved by aliens called "psychlos" 705 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which are a very obvious metaphor for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate for psychiatrists. 706 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 John Travolta, who plays the evil alien leader called Turl 707 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and has been a scientologist since 1975 708 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is directly responsible for this movie existing. 709 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The production company who took it on was later found to have defrauded investors out of 31 million dollars 710 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by overreporting production costs 711 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 causing a lawsuit that forced the company to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007. 712 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 On top of that, the movie was a massive financial flop 713 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 not just because the movie and its John Travolta action figures 714 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 were an obvious Scientology recruitment tactic 715 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but because the movie itself was a visual nightmare. 716 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The special effects are ugly, 717 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the costumes are disgusting, 718 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the whole movie was filmed in these crooked angles 719 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that changed multiple times a scene. 720 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which gave a bunch of people motion sickness. 721 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a really infamously bad movie that's been covered by a bunch of other YouTube channels over the years 722 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so if you want more information on it, go watch one of those videos. 723 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just don't watch the movie itself. 724 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It'll do nothing but make you nauseous and waste two hours of your time. 725 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm serious, don't do it. 726 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest, I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered. 727 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 One of my friends and I watched this movie like four times during quarantine 728 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and we kinda bonded over it. 729 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And now this movie has a special place in my heart. 730 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Aw." 731 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I made Nikki watch it instead. 732 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because she's never seen it before. 733 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And here she is now. 734 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Where the hell do I even begin with this movie. 735 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Part of me thinks this movie is some kind of deep anti-comedy 736 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 meant to satirize the other gross out comedies 737 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that were popular in the early 2000s 738 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the other part of me thinks that maybe it means nothing at all. 739 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I mean any normal human being 740 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 would read a title called 741 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Freddy Got Fingered 742 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and run away in the opposite direction. 743 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because what the fuck is that supposed to mean? 744 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But to put it simply, this movie is about a 28 year old man 745 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Stop it, stop it, Mom, I'm a 28 year old man." 746 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man." 747 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 His name is Gord and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker. 748 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And also to pursue his dream of being a professional animator. 749 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Seems pretty simple, right? Seems pretty cut and dry? 750 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But that's where you'd be wrong. 751 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because so very many things happen in this movie 752 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that are beyond human explanation. 753 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just to name a few, 754 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Tom Green jerks off a horse 755 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he swings a baby around by its umbilical cord 756 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass 757 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And he goes scuba diving in his own toilet. 758 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Get out of that toilet! - (bubbling, gurgling) 759 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But at the risk of sounding clinically insane 760 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and demented 761 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there are moments in this movie that I find kind of relatable. 762 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like this scene where the CEO of an animation company tells Gord that he doesn't like his drawings. 763 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - It sucks. 764 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And so he immediately sticks a gun in his mouth and starts screaming. 765 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - The characters are so lame, I'm a loser. 766 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I wish I was dead. 767 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - (screaming) - Wait, wait. 768 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What makes this even funnier is that once he receives validation, 769 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts like none of that ever happened at all. 770 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Sir I can't work on this all day, I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory. 771 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you're mentally ill, and make art, this is the film for you. 772 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - It's time I grow up and get a job instead of acting like a little baby all the time. 773 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can't think of anything to draw because I'm so stupid. 774 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm so stupid. 775 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - And this movie surprised me in so many different ways 776 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 For one, it made me laugh way more than I anticipated. 777 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Can't you see we're both just a couple of stupid idiots. 778 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Gord… - (mocking) Gord! Gordie! 779 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was also weirdly based at times. 780 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I say weirdly because the early 2000s was a derogatory fever dream. 781 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was like running thru the perfume department in SpongeBob 782 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but the perfume was slurs. 783 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gord ends up asking out this nurse named Betty 784 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she says yes, but afterwards he finds out that she's in a wheelchair. 785 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 At first I was like, oh shit, it's about to get real ableist in here 786 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Lel-lel-lel. 787 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I was truly prepared for the worst. 788 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But my expectations were subverted when Betty ended up 789 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 not only the smartest person in this whole movie 790 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but her and Gord remain in a relationship for the rest of the film. 791 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - I have a bag of jewels for you. - Gord… 792 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - They're jewels, Betty. 793 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Another interesting thing to me is that 794 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Betty constantly wants to give Gord a blow (dolphin sound) job. 795 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Here me out dude! 796 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She asks him this so many times in the movie, 797 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that it comes off as very obviously satirical. 798 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just wanna suck your cock 799 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My life's a little hectic lately, 800 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm having trouble concentrating with all the skateboarding and 801 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - you sucking my penis all the time - (chuckling) 802 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And again, my expectations are subverted by Gord repeatedly asking if they can just go out on a date. 803 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - I just think if we went out on at least one date 804 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and you didn't do any sucking right now 805 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that would make the whole sucking to date ratio 806 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 far more balanced, you know? 807 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - This could be a play on the trope of male protagonists in comedy especially 808 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 being obsessed with sex 809 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And not only that but women being ultra sexualized in these movies. 810 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not all the subversion in this movie is good, though, necessarily. 811 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you were wondering how the movie got its title, 812 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I shit you not, about 50 minutes into the film, 813 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gord frames his dad for "fingering" his brother. 814 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - At least I don't touch Freddy. 815 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He fingers him. 816 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - His brother who is like 25 and doesn't even live with them. 817 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - He's a molester! 818 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's a child molester! 819 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - But CPS literally goes into his apartment and takes him to the molestation hospital. 820 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is this shocking? 821 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uh, yes. 822 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know if it's shocking compared to the other things that happen in this movie. 823 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (screaming) 824 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is it in poor taste? 825 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Uh…luhh…luhh… 826 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe. 827 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But this whole framing of the fingering 828 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is the canon event that leads to the finale of the film. 829 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When Gord pranks his dad by 830 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 abducting him in the middle of the nightand taking him to Pakistan. 831 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - You're fucking dead. 832 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They could write books and novels and college theseses 833 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 about everything else that happen between then and the ending 834 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but just know that this movie ends with Gord and his dad being covered in elephant c—(censor beep) 835 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (elephant trumpeting) 836 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Speaking of which, there's an elephant in this room! 837 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The elephant is that I actually kinda like this movie. 838 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Also the elephant is coming. 839 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is that so wrong? 840 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And is it so wrong that maybe kinda 841 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie? 842 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is it ok that he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s? 843 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Shut up. 844 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 As far as career-ruining films go, 845 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Tom Green took the failure of Freddy very very well. 846 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He even showed up to accept his Golden Razzie. 847 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He rolled out his own red carpet too. 848 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - Well done you guys. Give him some space. 849 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you very much. 850 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Celebrate your successes 851 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and your failures. 852 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] A remake of an italian film from 1974 853 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Swept Away is a movie where Madonna plays the dumbest 854 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 most unlikable rich woman in the world 855 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who gets marooned on an island with an Italian sailor 856 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who hates her and sexually assaults her. 857 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 3 minutes after that 858 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there's a time skip and suddenly they're in love. 859 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a nasty nasty nasty movie 860 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I don't even wanna talk about it. 861 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It was so bad it caused Madonna to give up on acting entirely. 862 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch. 863 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Especially when you consider the movie was directed by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie. 864 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008 865 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but in my opinion queen should've divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot 866 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for even suggesting this movie. 867 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Madonna] Ugh. It was rough. 868 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's nothing glamorous about it, then you were really mean to me. 869 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Mrs. Ritchie. 870 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I just want to slap you on camera. 871 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Why, Mrs. Ritchie? 872 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 For all those times you let Adriano slap me and never yelled cut. 873 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Ritchie] One more. 874 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Madonna] And all those times they threw octopuses on me. 875 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And all those times you made me stay in the freezing cold ice water. 876 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And all those times you made me run down the sand dunes. 877 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And all those times you ate my food. 878 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And you didn't pay me. 879 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And you never said thank you. 880 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (crying) 881 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high 882 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered 883 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 when Gigli came in and literally snuffed the life out of me. 884 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gigli is a movie. 885 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's about a mobster named Gigli 886 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck. 887 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Much like this review on Letterboxd, 888 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I too hope Gigli k—(dolphin noises) himself. 889 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because not only does he abduct a mentally challenged teenager, 890 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and abuse him while holding him for ransom, 891 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What if I smack you in the fucking head? 892 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's also just cringe. 893 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Unforgivably so. 894 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately 895 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she plays this other mobster or mobsterette 896 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who is supposed to help him take care of this mentally disabled kid 897 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she also just happens to be a lesbian. 898 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It means I'm a lesbian. 899 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Or should I say, the least convincing lesbian in film history. 900 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No lesbians were consulted in the making of this movie. 901 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because what the fuck is this? 902 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's turkey time. 903 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Huh? 904 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gobble gobble. 905 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You may not be able to tell 906 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because this is the weirdest way I've ever heard anyone describe it 907 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but she's talking about eating (dolphin sound) ussy here. 908 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I really don't know who told J.Lo. 909 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or whoever wrote this script 910 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that lesbians call that turkey time. 911 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But whoever it was deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot. 912 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Of course Gigli doesn't respect her sexuality. 913 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Your girlfriends, they're at a natural disadvantage. 914 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They might try hard but they're not just backed up 915 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by millions of years of genetic engineering. 916 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He whines and complains throughout the whole movie about 917 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian but I'm attracted to her. 918 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I wanna be with her. 919 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know why I'm fucking sad? 920 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because I've got this fucking 921 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 beautiful, sexy, gorgeous heartthrobba-rama 922 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 fucking smart, amazing, bombshell 923 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 17 on a fucking 10 scale girl 924 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 sleeping on the bed right next to me. 925 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She's a stone cold d—(vine boom)—yke. 926 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 A fucking untouchable, unaffable 927 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 brick wall fucking d—(vine boom)—kossaurus rex. 928 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (mocking) Eugh…eugh… 929 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And after enough complaining, Ricki starts doing deeds with him. 930 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway, 931 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but in the hypothetical scenario 932 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where for some reason a lesbian had sex with a guy 933 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it would not be with this guy. 934 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's always like licking his teeth and shit. 935 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But luckily there's not just lesbian cringe, 936 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This ain't fucking lesbian talk circle time! 937 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's also plenty of heterosexual cringe. 938 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 God bless you penis. 939 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And gay cringe. 940 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm not gay! 941 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Despite this movie literally being about mobsters, 942 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 nothing mobster-related really happens in this movie until the last 30 minutes 943 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where for some reason Al Pacino is here. 944 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You piece of shit! 945 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm sure this is Al Pacino's favorite role of all time 946 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 right up there next to Jack and Jill. 947 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, we got em. 948 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ho! 949 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ho! 950 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But to give it to you straight, 951 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid 952 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 on a random beach with the cast of Baywatch. 953 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And it's literally played out like it's supposed to be this inspirational thing. 954 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like a tearjerker or something. 955 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (inspirational music) 956 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki ride off into the sunset 957 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup. 958 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know I bet you'd look awesome in some mascara. 959 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Do not watch this movie. 960 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You will get a UTI. 961 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Or that other thing. 962 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Ok first of all this movie is Catwoman in name only. 963 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Despite being a DC comics movie, 964 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the Catwoman of this movie has pretty much nothing to do with the Catwoman from Batman. 965 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This character has a different name 966 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 lives in a different city 967 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and gets her cat superpowers from a magic cat burping in her mouth. 968 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just so stupid, it's actually really fun to watch. 969 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes 970 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's so funny. 971 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 As you might expect this movie bombed hard 972 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 probably because they put it out around the same time as Spiderman 2. 973 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) 974 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) 975 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now 976 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of Hollywood 977 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and never directed a movie again. 978 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop 979 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award. 980 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros. 981 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (crowd laughing) 982 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit god-awful movie. 983 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (crowd laughing, cheering) 984 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (Berry cheering) 985 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dirty love is a… 986 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 "comedy", 987 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin, 988 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 notorious anti-vaxxer and Masked Singer judge, Jennifer McCarthy. 989 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart. 990 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way. 991 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and I wanna leave the room," kind of way. 992 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I actually had a hard time finding clips of this movie online 993 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because it's pretty obscure and nobody likes it. 994 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor 995 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with a feminine spin. 996 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And by feminine spin 997 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I, of course, mean period jokes 998 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like this scene where a bleeding Jenny McCarthy 999 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 goes to a grocery store in white skirt and no underwear 1000 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and almost bleeds out on the floor. 1001 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know, relatable comedy for women. 1002 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just girly things. 1003 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Hashtag just girly things. 1004 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just girly things. 1005 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand, boys. 1006 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a girly thing. 1007 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Hashtag just girly things. 1008 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing. 1009 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (sing-song) Hashtag just girly things. 1010 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So this a sequel to Basic Instinct 1011 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s 1012 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's maybe best remembered today for this scene 1013 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where Newman from Seinfeld sees Sharon Stone's 1014 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 bare, uncensored (censor beep)-ssy in an interrogation room. 1015 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The original was nominated for a few Razzies in its day 1016 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but it was a massive box office hit 1017 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and is today remembered as a pretty solid neo-noir thriller. 1018 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now, Basic Instinct 2 on the other hand only exists 1019 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because Sharon Stone was promised 14 million dollars to star in the movie. 1020 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When the producers tried to cancel it, 1021 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 she sued them to force them to make it. 1022 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Don't take it so hard. 1023 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming. 1024 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] It's kind of hard to talk about this movie without spoiling a bit of the original. 1025 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie. 1026 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I also barely remember anything about the plot 1027 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and I only saw it a couple of months ago. 1028 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It rehashes a lot of the same story beats and plot points as the original, 1029 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 just not as good. 1030 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Would I call it a terrible movie? 1031 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No, not really. 1032 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But compared to the original, 1033 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's pretty bland and forgettable. 1034 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But that's what happens when your only reason for making a movie 1035 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is to avoid a massive lawsuit. 1036 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Gotta love showbiz, baby. 1037 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan 1038 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as a girl who is killed by a serial killer 1039 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but survives and wakes up in the hospital saying she's someone else. 1040 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie was released in July 27, 2007 1041 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy about Lindsay Lohan 1042 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction 1043 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming. 1044 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Especially because Lohan checked into rehab the first time 1045 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a month into the production. 1046 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The film set was swarmed with so much paparazzi 1047 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that some of them even showed up in the background of a few shots in the movie. 1048 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then a couple months after filming wrapped, 1049 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Lohan was arrested for drunk driving. 1050 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then on July 24th, just three days before the movie was released, 1051 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again 1052 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and couldn't even attend the premiere. 1053 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 All of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan enemy number one in Hollywood. 1054 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Critics eviscerated this movie. 1055 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But in a year since its release, 1056 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this film has kind of become a cult classic among horror movie fans. 1057 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's been screened in theaters many times over the last decade. 1058 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I've seen a lot of people online compare it to giallo movies, 1059 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 an Italian film genre popular in the 60s and 70s 1060 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that mixed elements of murder movies, slashers, and erotica. 1061 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The influence of giallo is definitely present here. 1062 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a stylish weird thriller 1063 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and Lohan's background made her kind of perfect for the role 1064 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet high school girl 1065 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 into a deeply traumatized young woman with a robotic hand. 1066 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's definitely not for everyone, myself included, 1067 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but if you're into weird gory horror movies, 1068 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 there's a lot to vibe with here. 1069 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's a much better movie than Norbit, that's for sure. 1070 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Have you ever seen Norbit? 1071 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Ooh! Ah! Bitches! 1072 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (screaming) 1073 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (screaming) 1074 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The Love Guru is a movie 1075 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 written by, directed by, and starring Mike Meyers 1076 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's mostly remembered as the movie 1077 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that completely tanked his career 1078 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and caused him to step away from Hollywood for 8 years. 1079 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Critics and audiences both hated it. 1080 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 With critics calling it 1081 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 lazy, immature, mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful, gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable, 1082 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 among many other things. 1083 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But don't take their word for it. 1084 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Take my word for it. 1085 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't have any other words for it, 1086 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that pretty much sums it up. 1087 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Here's a scene they use in the trailer. 1088 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Woah! How did you get there? 1089 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (groans) 1090 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This little guy scared the crap out of me. 1091 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Think I might have to do a panty check, 1092 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I might have some monkey mustard back there. 1093 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Who is this prick? 1094 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Shh. 1095 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Man, how do you do? Shrimp? 1096 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What did you call me, jagomoe? 1097 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name! 1098 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You are a midget. 1099 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] The plot of this movie is Mike Myers 1100 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka 1101 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who was raised in India 1102 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 wears a chastity belt 1103 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and dreams of being on Oprah. 1104 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves 1105 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to help their star player get back together with his wife 1106 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because he is the Love Guru 1107 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and only he can save their marriage. 1108 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's basically a one note movie 1109 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy. 1110 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Every seen goes on for way too long, 1111 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes 1112 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and pretty much every line is about 1113 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks, 1114 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with many of the characters' names being dick jokes. 1115 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We got Tugginmypudha, 1116 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 coach Cherkov, 1117 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Le Coq, 1118 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dick Pants, 1119 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (Evasive laughing) 1120 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's not funny that John Oliver is named Dick Pants. 1121 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (laughing) 1122 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] It's not… (laughing) 1123 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Ok, I'll be the first to say that 1124 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't think any of the Transformers movies are particularly good. 1125 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That being said, 1126 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is definitely the worst one, 1127 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 if only for how offensive and annoying it is. 1128 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Pretty much every Transformer introduced in this movie 1129 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 either talks with a racist accent, 1130 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable. 1131 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And when it isn't being annoying or racist, 1132 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's doing shit like this. 1133 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah… 1134 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Say my name, say my name. Hah…hah… 1135 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now? 1136 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 At least he's faithful, Sam. 1137 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, well, he's faithful, and he's nude and he's perverted. 1138 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Hah…hah…hah… 1139 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (sighs) 1140 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this? 1141 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sadly this movie ended up making 836 million dollars 1142 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which was about a hundred million more dollars than Up made that same year. 1143 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear. 1144 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - That's 'cause you was a wuss. - You did force me into that car, right? 1145 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh I think he scared. 1146 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do with this shrimp taco? 1147 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Lemme just pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the truck, 1148 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and then nobody gonna know nothing, y'know what I mean? 1149 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - No one's gonna pop any caps in any asses. Ok? 1150 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - I've had a hell of a day. 1151 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass? 1152 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What can I even say about this movie 1153 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that hasn't been said a thousand times already? 1154 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This live action trashfire directed by M. Night Shyamalan 1155 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated TV show 1156 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess. 1157 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe if you watch this, 1158 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 having never seen the original series, 1159 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's just another lame Hollywood fantasy action movie. 1160 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But for fans of the series, this was offensively bad. 1161 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The creators of the show were not allowed to give any input on the movie's development. 1162 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Beloved characters were made one-dimensional and pointless, 1163 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 major plot points were skipped over, 1164 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 characters' names are pronounced wrong. 1165 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How do you even screw that up? 1166 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This movie made a lot of money 1167 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but was so hated by audiences 1168 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that Paramount must have known that they couldn't fool people twice 1169 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and cancelled plans to adapt the other 2 seasons, 1170 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began. 1171 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just sad. 1172 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The whole movie is a sad waste of source material. 1173 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You'd probably have a better time playing the official Wii game 1174 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 than watching this movie. 1175 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (vaguely Asian music) (wheels skidding) 1176 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 [Evasive] Ok, maybe not. 1177 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 (dramatic, haunting piano) 1178 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Alright, Razzies, respectfully, 1179 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what the fuck? 1180 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan, 1181 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I never read the books and I didn't watch the movies until recently, 1182 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but even I know that the last movie in the Twilight series 1183 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 isn't that bad a movie. 1184 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's ridiculous, sure, but out of all the movies in this series, 1185 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's definitely the most interesting and most exciting entry aside from the first one. 1186 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Obviously they gave it Worst Picture as a sort of dig at the entire series, 1187 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 since none of the others had won Worst Picture before, 1188 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but come on. 1189 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun. 1190 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's got a big fight scene on a frozen lake, 1191 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's got a girl named Renesmee, 1192 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it concludes one of the most iconic and most stupid blockbuster series of all time. 1193 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's so entertaining and over the top 1194 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that even if you hate Twilight and everything about it, 1195 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you can't tell me that this movie is worse than the Adam Sandler movie 1196 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where he shows a 13 year old impregnating his teacher. 1197 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You can't tell me that. 1198 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because you'd be wrong. 1199 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Let me start this one off by 1200 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 showing you the list of people that were involved in this movie. 1201 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And that's not even all of them. 1202 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches 1203 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 each directed by different people. 1204 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Made on an impossibly cheap budget of 6 million dollars, 1205 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this thing took 3 whole years to film 1206 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because the producers worked around actors' schedules 1207 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to maximize how many famous people could show up on this. 1208 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The sketches themselves are a relentless onslaught of dirty shock humor. 1209 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face. 1210 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz spills period blood on the wall. 1211 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's one where a horny cat pisses on Elizabeth Banks. 1212 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina. 1213 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My personal favorite was the one where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt 1214 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to poop on her during sex. 1215 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - So he takes some— - Poop Viagra. 1216 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And then gets hit by car. 1217 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I love you, I wanna marry you. 1218 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh my god. Doug, no! 1219 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you're feeling sadistic, 1220 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 throw this on, on your next bad movie night with friends. 1221 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's got a little something for everyone. 1222 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't even know what the hell Movie 43 means. 1223 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But I'm in Movie 43, maybe I'm in Movie 44. 1224 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know. 1225 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s 1226 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who took a hard right turn into Evangelical Christianity 1227 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and has since appeared almost exclusively 1228 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in low-budget Christian movies and radio programs. 1229 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Today, he's mostly known for his inflammatory publicity stunts 1230 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like in 2020, when he organized maskless Christmas carols in LA 1231 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to protest COVID restrictions, 1232 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which he called "communism disguised as public health". 1233 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know the type. 1234 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He's a nutcase, 1235 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and his movie had been dunked a hundred times before by YouTubers already 1236 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because for a while, this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB, 1237 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10. 1238 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Which he claimed was the result of an atheist conspiracy on Reddit. 1239 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The whole movie takes place in one house 1240 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning 1241 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to explain how non-Christian Christmas traditions 1242 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 had actually been Christian all along. 1243 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like how Christmas trees were God's idea 1244 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because God created trees. 1245 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic 1246 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because the ability to buy gifts 1247 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is God's gift to humanity. 1248 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just boring. 1249 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just a boring movie where nothing happens 1250 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and everyone is just sitting or standing around 1251 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 not doing anything. 1252 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie 1253 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is when all the extras have an epic dance party at the end. 1254 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ♫ (Angels we have heard on high, trap remix style) ♫ 1255 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Fant-four-stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands in the same movie. 1256 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The writers disagreed on everything. 1257 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The director Josh Trank slept with a loaded gun on him 1258 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because he got death threats for casting Michael B. Jordan. 1259 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Fox executives had whole scenes cut out 1260 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval 1261 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because they thought his version was too dark. 1262 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Trank also put out a tweet before the movie came out 1263 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 basically disowning it. 1264 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The end result of all of this 1265 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was an ugly, boring mess of a movie 1266 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere. 1267 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They don't even have them become superheroes 1268 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 until halfway thru the movie 1269 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and most of the time they're just standing around 1270 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 talking and not doing anything. 1271 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You can see the remnants of a decent movie in here 1272 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 like in this scene where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong. 1273 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But we'll never know what the movie was supposed to be 1274 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because nobody cares. 1275 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There's no one out there saying 1276 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 hashtag release the trank cut. 1277 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want them to go see just a really great movie. 1278 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Something that is different from…uh… 1279 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dr. Doom is one of the top 5 greatest characters 1280 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that ever come off a comic book—panel. 1281 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Science is really cool and this is something that…hopefully… 1282 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So 2015 was another tie 1283 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with Fifty Shades of Grey also being awarded Worst Picture. 1284 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is another movie where I"m like, 1285 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already? 1286 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's based on an erotic novel that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction, 1287 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the stars have no chemistry 1288 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and nothing about their relationship is believable. 1289 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The movie spawned that Love Me Like You Do song 1290 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that's haunted retail workers for almost a decade now. 1291 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's just a bad movie. 1292 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's boring and bad and it made over 500 million dollars 1293 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so rather than repeat the same things that a 100 other YouTubers have said 1294 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'll just leave you with a little mental image. 1295 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 See, this movie came out on Valentine's Day 2015. 1296 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg 1297 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 from Sugar Land, Texas 1298 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who went to see this at the local AMC on Valentine's Day. 1299 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want you to visualize Kayllynn giving Greg a dry handjob 1300 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 at the back of the theater, 40 minutes into the movie. 1301 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want you to visualize them going to Applebees after 1302 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and eating a slightly burned chicken breast 1303 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and some unseasoned broccoli. 1304 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I want you to visualize— 1305 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 If you don't know already, 1306 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Dinesh D'Souza is a far-right political commentator 1307 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who's been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012. 1308 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014 1309 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and was sentenced to 5 years probation. 1310 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 During which, he made Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party. 1311 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Released in the summer of 2016, 1312 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Hillary's America is a movie that claims it's a documentary 1313 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but aside from a few news clips and some scripted-sounding interviews, 1314 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 much of the movie is either historical reenactments 1315 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 or D'Souza talking to terrible actors 1316 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and trying to pass it off as documentary footage. 1317 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The movie opens with D'Souza being sentenced for fraud 1318 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which he claims was a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up 1319 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and from there he goes to prison 1320 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and starts interviewing other prisoners about how gangs work 1321 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know, gangs are all about stealing, man. 1322 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What's the biggest gang? 1323 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Right in your face. 1324 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Politicians, man. 1325 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 - How does a gang make money? - Any way they can, you know? 1326 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Trafficking, smuggling, stealing, extortion, 1327 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Yeah, but how do they pull it off? 1328 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Later on, he visits the Democratic National Headquarters 1329 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and it's all done up to look like a high-tech museum 1330 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for the glory of the Democratic Party. 1331 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building 1332 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and breaks into the secret archives 1333 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to reveal the secret information 1334 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that is literally in the curriculum of 8th Grade US History. 1335 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Like, "Hey guys, did you know that most of the slaveowners in the Civil War were Democrats? 1336 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Wow, isn't that crazy? How come no one's talking about this?" 1337 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The sad truth is this movie sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets when it came out. 1338 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible Americans saw this in theaters. 1339 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And many probably dragged their impressionable kids to see it with them 1340 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 when all those kids wanted to do was play the new Pokémon Go game that just came out. 1341 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's depressing to think about.