0:00:00.000,0:00:02.380
What's up cinephiles,[br]I'm Evasive,

0:00:02.380,0:00:05.769
and this piece of paper right here[br]means two things:

0:00:05.769,0:00:08.510
Number one, I am tens of[br]thousands of

0:00:08.510,0:00:09.820
dollars in debt,

0:00:09.820,0:00:13.270
and number two, I know a lot[br]about movies.

0:00:13.270,0:00:14.561
And since it looks like the U.S[br]government

0:00:14.561,0:00:16.909
is not going to be giving me any[br]debt relief this year,

0:00:16.909,0:00:19.669
I have no choice now but to[br]torture myself on the Internet

0:00:19.669,0:00:21.649
for money to pay off the loans

0:00:21.649,0:00:23.159
I took out to go to film school.

0:00:23.159,0:00:24.006
(eEeEewWwWw!)

0:00:24.006,0:00:26.566
So for this video, I watched every[br]movie that's ever won

0:00:26.566,0:00:29.006
a Razzie Award for Worst Picture[br]of the Year.

0:00:29.006,0:00:31.196
This was an extremely painful[br]experience

0:00:31.196,0:00:33.257
and I regretted my decision[br]immediately,

0:00:33.257,0:00:35.367
but for the sake of my adoring[br]fans

0:00:35.367,0:00:36.407
and my bank account,

0:00:36.407,0:00:38.547
I went ahead and watched all 46[br]of these

0:00:38.547,0:00:40.357
movies so I could explain them to[br]you.

0:00:40.357,0:00:43.027
But after the grueling experience[br]of watching all these movies,

0:00:43.027,0:00:45.247
I'm not about to tackle this[br]breakdown alone.

0:00:45.247,0:00:46.947
So I went ahead and roped in[br]another video

0:00:46.947,0:00:49.028
essay girly and a talking trash can

0:00:49.028,0:00:51.047
to help explain some of these[br]movies for me.

0:00:53.291,0:00:56.331
But before I get to the movies, let[br]me explain what the Razzies are.

0:00:59.810,0:01:02.469
The Golden Raspberry Awards are[br]an annual event,

0:01:02.469,0:01:04.579
usually held the night before the Oscars,

0:01:04.579,0:01:06.959
to give out awards for the worst[br]movies of the year.

0:01:06.959,0:01:09.059
It was founded by Hollywood[br]copywriter

0:01:09.059,0:01:11.389
John Wilson and editor Maureen[br]Murphy.

0:01:11.389,0:01:12.899
The idea for the Razzies came[br]about

0:01:12.899,0:01:14.699
in 1980 when Wilson saw

0:01:14.699,0:01:16.899
Can't Stop the Music and Xanadu

0:01:16.899,0:01:18.813
back to back and hated them both

0:01:18.813,0:01:20.084
so much he thought there ought

0:01:20.084,0:01:21.958
to be an award show for this type[br]of thing.

0:01:21.958,0:01:23.458
Months later, Wilson hosted an

0:01:23.458,0:01:25.358
Oscars watch party at his house,

0:01:25.358,0:01:27.408
and after the Oscars had finished,

0:01:27.408,0:01:29.958
he and Murphy passed out ballots[br]to everyone at the party to vote

0:01:29.958,0:01:31.578
on the worst movies of the year,

0:01:31.578,0:01:33.888
and then he announced the[br]winners in his living room.

0:01:33.888,0:01:36.008
Over time, the ceremony grew and[br]grew,

0:01:36.008,0:01:37.494
and today they're considered a[br]staple

0:01:37.494,0:01:39.134
of the Hollywood award season

0:01:39.134,0:01:41.384
as a low-budget Bizarro World[br]Oscars

0:01:41.384,0:01:43.346
that distributes awards in[br]categories

0:01:43.346,0:01:45.516
such as Worst Actor, Worst[br]Director,

0:01:45.516,0:01:46.946
and Worst Screenplay.

0:01:46.946,0:01:49.626
Unlike the qualifications for voting[br]at the Oscars, though,

0:01:49.626,0:01:51.826
becoming a Razzie voter is very[br]easy:

0:01:51.826,0:01:53.925
either be friends with one of the[br]producers

0:01:53.925,0:01:56.365
or just pay a $40 membership fee.

0:01:56.365,0:01:58.095
That's all it takes.

0:01:58.095,0:01:59.785
So that's the story of the Razzies.

0:01:59.785,0:02:01.858
Now, are you ready to learn about[br]every single movie

0:02:01.858,0:02:03.608
that won Worst Picture?

0:02:04.838,0:02:05.798
Because I wasn't.

0:02:05.798,0:02:08.796
There's 46 of these things, so I'm[br]going to talk about each one

0:02:08.796,0:02:10.049
just a minute or two

0:02:10.049,0:02:11.536
and hand off a few to my guests

0:02:11.536,0:02:13.656
so I don't completely lose my mind here.

0:02:13.656,0:02:16.186
Also, I put a content warning on a[br]bunch of these movies

0:02:16.186,0:02:18.596
because of the sensitive subject[br]matter I discuss.

0:02:18.596,0:02:22.029
Not trying to traumatize anybody[br]but myself in this video...

0:02:22.686,0:02:24.276
well, me and my guests.

0:02:25.109,0:02:27.489
But I commissioned them for this,[br]so i-- it's fine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anybody who can swallow[br]two snowballs and a ding-dong

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
shouldn't have any trouble with pride.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] The first movie to win[br]Worst Picture was "Can't Stop The Music".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A movie about the "origins"[br]of the disco group "Village People".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I say origins in air-quotes because[br]the Village People play themselves

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the plot is completely made-up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and not at all how [br]the Village People actually formed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie itself is super campy[br]and full of these crazy musical numbers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that are unironically kinda great.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just too bad that in between[br]those musical numbers are these scenes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with really terrible acting [br]that go on for way too long.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Wait a minute! I am not taking one[br]more step 'til I know where I'm going."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Yeah, quit my job, and you[br]got me walking the beat again!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- "And I'm not even getting paid for it!"[br]- "Hey, hold your horses."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I told ya I had a surprise for ya."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I hope so. I turned in my[br]coin change with the toll booth."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] By 1980 the disco fad was [br]almost over and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
people loved to hate on[br]disco music at the time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so you can see why this[br]ended up being such a huge bomb.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also, shockingly, this movie marks the[br]first film appearance of Caitlyn Jenner

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and apparently the experience was so bad

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she didn't appear in a movie again until[br]"Jack & Jill 2011".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And, uh, well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mommie Dearest is a "biopic"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about the life of actress Joan Crawford's[br]adopted daughter Christina.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Again, I say biopic in air-quotes[br]because the movie was based on

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Christina Crawford's controversial memoir

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that other members of Joan Crawford's[br]family disavowed when it came out.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I haven't done much research on the topic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so I'm in no position[br]to question this story.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I will say that after[br]the movie was made

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Christina said the film was grotesque[br]and not true to her memoir.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Released just 4 years after[br]Joan Crawford passed away,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this movie basically spits all over[br]her fresh grave

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and portrays her as a horrible mother

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who frequently, physically and emotionally[br]abused her daughter.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Whether or not this is actually true[br]is still a matter of debate.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Regardless of the real-life circumstances[br]behind the movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Faye Dunway's performance[br]of Joan Crawford is iconic now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
People who have unfortunately[br]experienced emotional abuse from a parent

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
found her performance[br]scarily true to their own life experiences

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but general audiences thought[br]she was just being outrageously campy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and over the top the whole movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because of its reputation, the movie[br]became a queer cult classic over the years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
especially in the drag community.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was even featured in the most[br]recent season of RuPaul's Drag Race.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"No wire hangers!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ No more wire hangers ♫[br]♫ Ah, ah! ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ No, no, wire hangers ♫[br]♫ No, no, no, no ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Inchon is a movie about[br]the battle of Incheon in the Korean War.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was financed and produced[br]by the Unification Church,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a movement that was and still is[br]considered a dangerous cult

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with a leader who called himself[br]the second coming of Jesus Christ.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The film's producer was[br]a very wealthy member of the church.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He said he was instructed by God[br]to make the film.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, unsurprisingly, no investors wanted[br]any part of this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All 46 million dollars of the budget was[br]provided by the church and its followers.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The film itself doesn't have much[br]to do with the Unification Church.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a straightforward war movie that's[br]just boring and unremarkable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It had some star power but only because[br]the actors in it were paid a lot of money.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
With Laurence Olivier even admitting[br]before the movie was released

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that he was only in it for the money.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was such a flop that no one[br]even bothered to release it on home media.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The only available version[br]of the movie today

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was from an old VHS rip from when it[br]played on Unification Church TV channel.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The only thing worth seeing in this movie[br]was Laurence Olivier's makeup job.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean he looks like the Joker.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie is just tasteless.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's based on a novel by Harold Robbins

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was paid 600 000 dollars[br]for the film rights

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and apparently fell asleep[br]in the screening room

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and never actually watched the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all, in the first 15 minutes,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
young Ray Liotta,[br]in his first ever movie role,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sexually assaults the main character[br]with a garden hose.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After that the rest of the movie[br]is just her being forced to have sex

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with gross older men[br]in order to get ahead in Hollywood.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you see all of it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It seems like it was trying to criticize[br]sexism in Hollywood

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but instead of handling it[br]with any kind of nuance or respect,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the movie fully shows the sex scenes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and does the very thing[br]it's trying to critique.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The final scene of the movie shows[br]her winning an Oscar for Best Screenplay

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and calling out the men[br]who took advantage of her

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in her acceptance speech.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then she's booed off stage, and leaves,[br]and the movie just ends there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's really uncomfortable to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But somehow the next movie is even worse.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ugh, god, ok.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bolero is a movie by John Derek.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
John Derek is—[br](groan)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
John Derek was an old Hollywood actor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who appeared in supporting roles in[br]several big movies in the 1940s and 50s.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In 1973 when Derek was 47 years old,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he traveled to Europe to direct[br]a low-budget movie called

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Once upon a Love" starring[br]a 16 year old girl named

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Mary Cathleen Collins".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During the production—[br](retching)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During the production, [br]John Derek left his wife

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and groomed Mary Collins[br]into a sexual relationship,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
With the two staying in Europe[br]until she turned 18

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so he could avoid [br]statutory (censor beep) charges.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When they got married a few years later,[br]she changed her name to Bo Derek

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and proceeded to star in all of his movies[br]until he died in 1998.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(retching)[br](vomit squelching)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So anyway, Bolero was a movie[br]about a young woman fresh from college

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who travels to Morocco in Spain[br]to lose her virginity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If that wasn't bad enough,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this movie features a full-frontal[br]nudity scene with a 14 year old girl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not an actress playing a 14 year old girl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
An actual 14 year old girl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(retching, vomit squelching)[br](coughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you've never seen any[br]Rambo movies before

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the image you probably associate[br]with the word "Rambo"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is the one where[br]hypermasculine Sylvester Stallone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is firing a machine gun[br]without a shirt on.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But see, that's actually from this movie,[br]"Rambo First Blood: Part II",

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which has very little to do[br]with Part 1 at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole point of[br]the first Rambo movie was that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Rambo was a Vietnam War veteran[br]with severe PTSD

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who snaps and kills a bunch of[br]small-time cops who treat him like shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This sequel, on the other hand

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
throws that tragic anti-war character[br]out the window

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as the US government sends him[br]back to Vietnam

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to locate prisoners of war

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Rambo is weirdly ok with that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like he immediately got over his PTSD

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and just got straight to blowing stuff up,[br]no problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie was[br]a massive box office success

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and made double of what[br]the first movie made,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so naturally, Rambo III also ditched[br]the anti-war angle

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and sent Rambo to Afghanistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I dunno if someone thought[br]the first movie was amazing,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it really sucks to see how quickly[br]they ruined this character.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But, like, I get it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The people who went to see[br]these sequels in theaters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
didn't watch it for the plot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They watched to see [br]Sylvester Stallone do this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(bow twang)[br](explosion)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the early 80s, Prince was a rising star.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And his stardom was cemented in 1984

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with the massive hit that was Purple Rain.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After the success of Purple Rain,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Warner Brothers told Prince he was basically allowed to do anything he wanted for his next project,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
greenlighting Under the Cherry Moon without even reading the script

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the story is, Prince plays a guy in the French Rivier named Christopher

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He and his friend Tricky try to scam a rich girl out of her inheritance

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but they both end up falling in love with her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Problem with the movie became apparent early on

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when Prince hired someone with no experience to write the script.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then 16 days into filming, the director quit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And Prince took over even though he had no experience directing a movie before.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The end result was a movie that features what I can only describe as

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Acting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Don't try anything funny.[br]Not this time, Christopher."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I want the money or I throw you both out onto the street."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(gasp)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"That's right, [inaudible]"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Throw me onto the street?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's bizarre, it's one of those movies where the acting is so bad it loops around to being funny

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which has given the movie a bit of a cult following over the years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that and the soundtrack is amazing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like with Purple Rain Prince released an album with the movie that went Platinum

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and is today remembered as one of the most iconic movies of his career

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After Under the Cherry Moon failed, Prince tried one more time to direct a feature-length movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but that one got nominated for a bunch of Razzies too

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and after that he gave up and never tried to direct a movie again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also this here marks the first ever tie in Razzies history with Under the Cherry Moon tieing with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)[br]Howard the Duck.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Greetings, Evasive viewers, it is I, young Junko, expert in Bird Law

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I'm here to defend my client Howard T. Duck,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
star of the Razzies' Worst Film of 1986, Howard The Duck

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For nearly the last 40 years my client's reputation has been tarnished and slandered against

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by quack punch, chicken shit critics for this tragic box office bomb.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Central character, the Duck, the one that we're gonna be rooting for,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he's neither funny, or bit of funny."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I'm here to clear the air.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Howard the Duck is not a movie, no, it's a documentary.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I know this because I was there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We all were.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My entire clan witnessed my client crash land on Earth

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to star in a motion picture that of which has been

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's still awful. It's bad. We're not winning this case, buddy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I wasn't trying anything. Honest!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is a strange movie to say the least.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Howard the Duck notoriously opens with 2 instances of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
full frontal duck booba in the span of 30 seconds.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the rest of the movie is this whiplash

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
between what's a squeaky clean full house type family movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that no one older than the age of 3 years old would find funny

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
followed by things like Marty McFly's mom showing off her ass and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pulling off a condom for Howard's corkscrew.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Howard…"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like anti-matter Shrek where they didn't know how to mix adult humor and the kids' [inaudible] properly yet

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so [inaudible] becomes this overly long bland comedy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with hardly any intentional laughs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that just happens to throw in something totally obscene every now and then

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- [Howard] Oh![br]- I just can't resist your

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
intense animal magnetism.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a lot of attempts at duck puns, most are just replacing a random phrase in a word with "duck"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even the director's name is Willard Hyuck.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's a duck name. That's a name you give a duck.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The first half of the movie has Howard pointlessly meandering

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's no funny interactions or observations or memorable bits

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's just an aimless movie with the guy in the duck suit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You have an entire portion of the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where Howard has a job as a towel boy in a sex club

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's fun for the whole family!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, Breeders, what the hell.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bareback bestiality and pedophilia.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh yeah, we find Howard getting a [inaudible] as a result of a [inaudible] incident.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which also [inadubile] a Palpatine somehow returning from the dead and possessing the body of that one actor that's in every 80s movie who'd later be arrested for being a sex pervert.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Whaddya think you'd like to eat?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I no longer need human food."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I need little boy butts.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You have a movie where a talking duck fires a giant laser

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at a hell portal to stop a horde of alien warlords

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from taking over the Earth

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and they still manage to make it a total snooze fest

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They try to give Howard a bit of edge

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but he still feels too kiddy and sanitized for what they're going for

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And part of that is his design.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He looks like a cross of a Furby and Mac Culkin.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There are some things I did like,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like these alien overlords are pretty cool

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
their design and their stop motion is really well done

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the sequence where Howard gets shot into space

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is pretty neat, pretty impressive to look at.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I like this sequence where Howard and [inaudible] get a [inaudible]

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and start flying away from the cops

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that was good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, Tim Robins is in this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Imagine having what's considered one of the best movies of all time as part of your portfolio

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and then on the other end of the spectrum having Howard the Duck,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
now that's range

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Genuinely I was taken aback because some of the shots in this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
undeniably go hard.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I feel like there's a version of this movie that could've actualy been good with less work

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like if they leaned into Howard being this cynical wise-cracking duck

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's down on his luck who gets thrust into Earth and finds this strange new realm

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
isn't so much different from his own

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
then it's all about the bills baby put it on my belt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[inaudible] taking that as an opportunity for a fresh start,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
slowly climbing his way up the corporate ladder

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
until becoming a national celebrity that gets caught up in 80s consumerism and greed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
then maybe having begrudgingly involved in some of the weird sci-fi stuff like the comics, i dunno

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not sure how to defend my client, give him the chair.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Howard screams)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Evasive laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Alright, I may not be able to defend Howard,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but know this: from this day forth, I will ensure every client of mine

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is proven innocent.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now for my next client, I will be defending one Bill Cosby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bill Co-Bill Cosby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm good. Your Honor? I would draw. We're done here. We're done.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's Leonard, part 6.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ask anyone who's seen this movie they'll tell you

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's when they first knew lil' Bill was a real piece of shit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When I heard there was a comedy movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that just started on part 6

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I thought, hey, maybe this movie could be bad in a good way, at the very least

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Nope, it's just bad, it's boring, it's so boring.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If there's one thing Cosby was always a master at

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's making people very sleepy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole thing was supposed to be a spoof on the spy genre,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sorta like Naked Gun, except they actually came out a year before that movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They really just had the cameras rolling and had Bill Cosby do whatever he wanted

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a bunch of weird sex shit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean the clues are all there,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the movie his wife divorced him because he slept with a 19 year old

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and his daughter is dating a much older man to further her career as an actress

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so then Leonard has to see her flash her tits on stage

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for no reason, none of these scenes add anything to the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think Cosby just wanted to look at some young girl tits

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole film has this lethargic and slow energy to it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Everything from the dialogue to the editing,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's like watching a movie at 0.5 speed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie opens with Leonard and an assassin having a little shootout in a kitchen

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The joke being that what they're doing is actually helping to prep some of the food

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok, could be funny but the pace of it all is so bizarrely off by a step

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Every gag and bit is like this, like they took something that was

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
maybe a 3 out of 10 joke at best and spread it so thin that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you ask yourself was there even a joke at all to begin with?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The plot follows Leonard being the best agent in the world

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who's long been retired after being pulled back for one last mission

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
after a buncha animals under mind control start killing people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yet again a god-awful 80s comedy starts of with an animal looking at a porno mag

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here's two fucking nickels

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The entire first half is him just stumbling around tryna get back with his ex wife

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who pours soup on him—what is this gag?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is this a fetish, Mr. Cosby? You think this was genuinely funny?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[mocking] We'll have him pour soup.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cosby doesn't have a single funny line or hook to his character

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can tell he's put zero effort into any of this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like he said "Yeah I'll do the movie but I don't wanna look too stupid,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
don't make me look too stupid."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Most of these so-called jokes are what the most boring uptight person in the world would think being silly is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[mocking] Oh, look, wow he's being a ballerina, so girly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh, wow, he's doing a silly fitness tape, how can he subject himself to that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh, wee, it's like he thinks these things are so beneath him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that just him doing it would be funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What a piece of shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know what really makes me mad, though?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's completely unfair. Because everyone seems to be trying, but him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a part where Leonard tries to free all the animals from captivity,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I just wanna recognize this bird right here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Who in this 5 second shot, bends the bars of his cage with his beak and breaks free

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
God bless this bird.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This bird put more effort than Bill Cosby in his own movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This bird did not deserve to be in one of the worst movies of all time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
None of these animals did.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This ostrich didn't deserve to be betrayed with a sex criminal grinding his pudding pop on its back.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If audiences in 1987 hated this, watching it now,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with all the humor naturally diluted even further to the passage of time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is like drinking a 40 year old can of new coke

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and when Bill's the one handing you the drink

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's safe to say you probably shouldn't drink it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(gurgling)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cocktail is a movie where young Tom Cruise plays a bartender in Manhattan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
then he movies to Jamaica and falls in love with a girl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but then he loses her and moves back to New York to win her back

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and that's pretty much it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What you see is what you get with this one.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a really mediocre movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not that good, but not that bad either.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well except for this scene where Tom Cruise stands on a bar

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and reads his shitty poetry.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is pretty cringey.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"America's getting stinking on something I stir or shake."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I make drinks so sweet and snazz-ay iced tea the kamikaze,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(hollering)[br]the sex on the beach is Schnapps made from peach

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the ball and hammer the Alabama slammer."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unsurprisingly with Tom Cruise starring, this movie was a massive success,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
earning a ridiculous 171 million dollars on a 20 million dollar budget.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's also the movie the Beach Boys "Kokomo" song was written for.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Besides that, not much to talk about here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm pretty sure it only won Worst Picture because this was the year Rain Man was favored to win Best Picture

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the voters probably thought it was funny to make both the Best and Worst Picture be Tom Cruise movies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok before making this video, I haven't actually watched any Star Trek at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But because I'm committed to my craft, I went ahead and watched all 6 original movies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just so I can understand why this one is considered the worst.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After all that, I—yeah. I get it now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not a horrible movie but especially compared to the previous ones in the series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Star Trek V is pretty bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Pretty much everything went wrong behind the scenes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
William Shatner directed it with no prior directing experience

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
nobody could agree on anything during the writing process,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there was a writers' strike

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
then a Teamsters strike

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They shot a lot of the movie in the Mojave Desert

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which is just as miserable as it sounds.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And after the filming was done, they only had 3 months to make the special effects,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and all the best special effects technicians in Hollywood were busy making

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Indiana Jones 3 and Ghostbusters II at the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do I think this movie deserved Worst Picture?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It does some wacky things like introduce Spock's long-lost brother that he never mentioned before

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or show Kirk getting mauled by a cat woman.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But overall I really don't think it's that bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But to be honest, I'm not a Trekkie who had to see

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Captain Kirk show up on the Enterprise in a "Go climb a rock t-shirt"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
…So…I mean…is that bad?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I actually don't know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Can someone in the comments tell me if that's bad, if that's out of character?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I actually don't know if I'm supposed to be mad at this or not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane was a "comedy" starring Andrew Dice Clay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you don't know who Andrew Dice Clay is, he was a comedian most active in the late 80s and early 90s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was known as the Dice Man,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which was basically a cover for him to tell the most offensive jokes he possibly could.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"And they're always on parade."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"They march down the street with t-shirts and flags saying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'I want money for AIDS disease.' Beautiful.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want money for a fucking car, I ain't marching up and down the street

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Get a job, butt slammer."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] The movie itself is about a detective, I guess,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I dunno, it's just not funny at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Honestly I was on my phone the whole time because I was just so bored.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- "I got something serious to discuss."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Yeah, what is it, premature ejaculation?"[br](laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Like that time we were at our parents' wedding anniversary,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I told that joke, 'What's the definition of vagina?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The box that peanuts come in!'" (laugh)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gilbert Godfrey plays the only funny character in the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but he dies like 25 minutes in and the rest is just a boring mess to follow.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The director Renny Harlin was also working on Die Hard 2 at the time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which ended up in theaters at the exact same time as Ford Fairlane

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and when you look at the money comparison between the two movies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
yeah, it's pretty obvious which movie he cared about more.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Clint Eastwood. I fucked him. Oh!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] 1990 was another tie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with Ford Fairlane tieing with another movie from unapologetic (censor beep) phile John Derek.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In this one, Bo Derek plays a woman married to a much older man

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and when the older man dies, his ghost takes up residence in her head

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and goads her into murdering another man

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so he can possess his body and have sex with her again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a supernatural dirty old man movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where John Derek fantasizes about living rent-free in Bo Derek's head after he dies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Plus this ended up being his last movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It would be poetic if it wasn't so disgusting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Bo was very very young. Linda was very young…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I guess I just meet them young,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
before they're wise enough to know I'm not the guy."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Anyway the acting was bad, the story was bad,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the visuals are bad,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but the real cherry on top here was this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was the first film appearance of Donald Trump.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No joke, Trump's first movie was made by a (censor beep) phile.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He even does a little duck face in it, look at him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Poetic.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just watch this clip.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Woah!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Happy (inaudible)"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Oh no! How's my driving? 1800-I'm gonna-(censor beep)-die!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Bruce Willis plays a master burglar fresh out of prison who

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was blackmailed into stealing some art

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but it turns out it's all part of a conspiracy to build a secret machine

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
invented by Leonardo Da Vinci that can turn lead into gold.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At this point in his career, Bruce Willis was mainly known for Die Hard I and II.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And was looking to branch out a bit with Hudson Hawk.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But apparently he couldn't decide what he wanted the movie to be.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In an interview, one of the writers later said:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I started to know we were in trouble when Joel and Bruce would say during filming

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know what this is? This is a Pink Panther movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The next day they'd say

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know what this is? This is an American James Bond movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then it would be: You know what this is? This is North by Northwest.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I even remember someone saying:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know what this is? This is Casino Royale.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Eventually I realized that if every day they were saying it was something different

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by the time we got to the editing room, we were gonna be in trouble.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So yeah, the final product is all over the place,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but the movie has developed a bit of a cult following over the years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just because it's so…so silly

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- (screaming)[br]- Honey?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Ball ball?[br]- Woof!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(dog screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Here's another movie that's really not that bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a World War II movie where Melanie Griffith is a half Jewish woman

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with no spy experience who signs herself up to be a spy in Berlin

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because she wants to prove herself and save her Jewish cousins who are in hiding.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Michael Douglas plays another spy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and pre-Schindler's List Liam Neeson plays a Nazi officer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Most of the complaints about the movie were aimed at how unbelievable Melanie Griffith is at being a spy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because she was really bad at her job.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like "spilling soup on Liam Neeson and taking the German kids she's nannying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to the building her cousins are hiding in" kind of bad

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But overall it's not that awful of a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the plot holes and writing problems are balanced out by a good soundtrack and good cinematography

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just average.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not bad enough to be memorable but not good enough that you'd ever wanna watch it again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Basically the cinematic equivalent of eating at Denny's.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think 1992 was just a slow year for bad movies in general.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That same year they also nominated Newsies for Worst Picture

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Danny DeVito for Worst Supporting Actor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like…what? Why? How?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Once again, this is a movie that's not that bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a drama where Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
play a financially struggling married couple in Vegas

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Robert Redford is a filthy rich guy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who offers the couple 1 million dollars for a 1 night stand with Demi Moore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Honestly, it's fine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It takes itself very seriously and it's vaguely misogynistic at points.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also it's completely unbelievable that a man who looks like Robert Redford

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
would pay a million dollars to sleep with someone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in the context of the movie it all works.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Definitely not the worst movie of the year that's for sure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean you're telling me that Indecent Proposal won Worst Picture but Mr. Nanny wasn't even nominated?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Razzie voters were asleep at the wheel this year.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In this one Bruce Willis plays a psychologist who can't see the color red

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who gets wrapped up in a murder after his colleague

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
gets killed Assassin's Creed-style and he suspects it was someone in his therapy group.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm so confused why it was even nominated for Worst Picture because this wasn't even a bad movie at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's surreal and weird sure but it's in a Twin Peaks style of way that still makes it unsettling and fun to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Definitely a 6.5 out of 10 movie for me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe a 7 out of 10 I dunno.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is another one that became a cult hit after it was released on home video.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Partly because of this crazy sex scene in a pool that everybody wanted to see

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was even streaming on Criterion Channel at one point

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which basically means that it's certified art.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's all I have to say.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I dunno guys, some of these 90s movies aren't even bad enough to complain about.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's a lot to be said about Showgirls.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all, Director Paul Verhoeven was the first to accept his Razzie award in person.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that's kind of funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I'm very happy because it was much more fun than reading the reviews in September. Thank you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(clapping, cheering)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Second of all, Showgirls isn't bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's actually a great movie, in my opinion, and a lot of people agree.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is a wild movie about high budget Las Vegas strip shows

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And obviously with subject matter like that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you're going to view the movie very differently

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
depending on your gender and sexuality.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But regardless of what kind of person you are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the experience of watching this movie is an absolute rollercoaster

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"One. Two. Three."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Thrust it. Thrust it. Thrust it."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Come on, thrust it."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But for as over the top as this movie is[br]it's also pretty true to life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During his research, writer Joe [Esterhazs] interviewed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
over two hundred strippers in Las Vegas

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the result was a shockingly realistic depiction of the lives of high profile sex workers and performers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And a biting satire against show business in general.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Take a look at these tits.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What are these, watermelons?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is a stage, babes, it's not a patch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See ya.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Your ears are sticking out. They are.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Come back and see me when you get em fixed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See ya.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Can you spell MGM backwards? I bet you can't.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- MGM.[br]- I'm impressed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Come back when you fuck some of those baby fat off.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now in today's era of gritty HBO dramas, none of this is that shocking

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but in 1995 this was next level stuff.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Plus with the subject matter, this movie has a lot of nudity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was rated NC-17 in America

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and to date it is the only NC-17 movie that was given a wide release in theaters.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was so explicit and controversial that MGM had to hire security at every movie theater in America

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just to make sure nobody under the age of 18 snuck into the theater.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie lost millions of dollars and to this day, no studio has ever dared to try and release an NC-17 movie in theaters again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If this sounds interesting to you, I actually really recommend giving this movie a watch

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because I can't really do it justice with just words alone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just know what you're getting into before you turn it on

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because this movie is every bit as traumatic as it is glamorous

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And actually to prove to you how much I like this movie, watch this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm a showgirl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm a showgirl, baby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm a showgirl.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the mid-90s, Demi Moore was one of the biggest film stars in the world.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the world was dying to know, what do Demi Moore's boobs look like?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's actually the only reason this movie exists.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They paid Demi Moore 12.5 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the most any woman had ever been paid for a movie role at the time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just so she would star in this movie and show her boobs to the camera.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie is like if Showgirls was actually bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Demi Moore plays an FBI agent who loses her daughter in a custody battle

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and then becomes a stripper in Florida at a place called Eager Beaver

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to pay for a court appeal.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She basically girlbosses being a stripper.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not in a nuanced way like Showgirls though.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in a stupid way that it takes itself seriously

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and is mostly boring and not believable at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Despite the bad reviews, the movie ended up being such a huge success

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the director-writer-producer Andrew Bergman basically quit Hollywood after this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm pretty sure what happened is once he got Demi Moore to agree to go topless,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he basically just phoned it in for the rest of the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because clearly the audiences who were going to see this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
weren't watching for the plot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But what can I say?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's showbiz, baby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's…that's showbiz, baby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Postman takes place in a distant future year of 2013

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
after much of humanity has been wiped out by a plague.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Kevin Costner, who also directed the movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
stars as a traveling Shakespeare performer that's conscripted to Caesar's Legion

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but he escapes and finds an old mail bag full of mail

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and pretends to be a mailman so he can get food

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and accidentally restarts the US postal service in the process

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also it's almost 3 hours long.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Honestly, as most of post apocalyptic adventures go, this one isn't that bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's about the same level of quality as Waterworld, actually.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the fact that it was a 3 hour long Kevin Costner vanity project,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
released just a week after Titanic,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
made it a very easy target for critics.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What is Kevin Costner even up to, these days, anyway?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(typing) Kevin Costner.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, hey. Good luck Kevin.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you aren't familiar, the name Alan Smithee is a fake name the Director's Guild came up with in 1968

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that directors who wanted to take their name of a movie were required to use instead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And this movie caused such a headache that the Directors' Guild had to officially stop allowing the use of the Alan Smithee name in movies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok so this movie was written by Joe Eszterhas and was directed by Arthur Hiller.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a mockumentary about a guy whose name was actually Alan Smithee

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that directs an action movie but he hates the finished product

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so he steals the film reels and holds them ransom

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because he wasn't allowed to take his name off it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now behind the scenes in real life,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Joe Eszterhas was in charge of cutting Burn Hollywood Burn

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and when Arthur Hiller saw the final version

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he hated it so much he had his name taken off the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But this of course created a confusion

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because this was a movie about Alan Smithee

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the poster said it was directed by Alan Smithee

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which you would assume was just a joke

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but no, the director actually had his name taken off the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It would take me so long to explain everything that's wrong with this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so let me just sum it up in four words.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Didn't laugh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's way too many characters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the movie jumps all over the place

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Harvey Weinstein is in it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Eew."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's lots of not funny parts where the camera freeze frames

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and there's a wall of text on screen.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm guessing what happened is they filmed all these scenes separately

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and thought they were hilarious on set

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but when they got to the editing room they realized they had nothing to work with

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so Joe Eszterhas tried to salvage it by adding a bunch of text edit jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which actually made the movie worse.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I have no proof of this of course but it seems right to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'd probably do the same thing in that situation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok so this is a Western steampunk fusion movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
starring the Fresh Prince and the guy who plays Mr. Fischoeder in Bob's Burgers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as cowboy government agents who hunt down an evil ex-Confederate officer with no legs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who kidnaps President Ulysses S. Grant with a giant robot spider.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's what this movie is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(hooting)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie is ridiculous.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know what the executives at Warner Bros. were snorting in the board room

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when they decided to spend over a 170 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on a movie where cowboy Will Smith fights a huge mecha spider

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but thank god they did because Will Smith turned down playing Neo in the Matrix to do this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I'd like you to imagine what it would be like if Will Smith played Neo in the Matrix.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I probably would have messed the Matrix up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would've ruined it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I did y'all a favor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This might not be a "good" movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but oh my god it's so funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Plus the theme song is pretty fire.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If I may quote one of the great gangster rappers, William Will Smith,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(nonchalantly) wicki wild wild, wicki wicki wild

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild wild west.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wicki wild, wicki wicki wild wild west.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do you find those lyrics inspiring?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, I…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Battlefield Earth is an action sci-fi movie based on a novel written by Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he wrote in 1982 when he was in hiding to avoid going to prison for his numerous crimes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's about a distant future world where humanity has been enslaved by aliens called "psychlos"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which are a very obvious metaphor for L. Ron Hubbard's vitriolic hate for psychiatrists.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
John Travolta, who plays the evil alien leader called Turl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and has been a scientologist since 1975

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is directly responsible for this movie existing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The production company who took it on was later found to have defrauded investors out of 31 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by overreporting production costs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
causing a lawsuit that forced the company to go bankrupt and shut down in 2007.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On top of that, the movie was a massive financial flop

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not just because the movie and its John Travolta action figures

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were an obvious Scientology recruitment tactic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but because the movie itself was a visual nightmare.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The special effects are ugly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the costumes are disgusting,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the whole movie was filmed in these crooked angles

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that changed multiple times a scene.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which gave a bunch of people motion sickness.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a really infamously bad movie that's been covered by a bunch of other YouTube channels over the years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so if you want more information on it, go watch one of those videos.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just don't watch the movie itself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It'll do nothing but make you nauseous and waste two hours of your time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm serious, don't do it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry, you guys, conflict of interest, I can't talk about Freddy Got Fingered.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
One of my friends and I watched this movie like four times during quarantine

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we kinda bonded over it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And now this movie has a special place in my heart.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Aw."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I made Nikki watch it instead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because she's never seen it before.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And here she is now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Where the hell do I even begin with this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Part of me thinks this movie is some kind of deep anti-comedy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
meant to satirize the other gross out comedies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that were popular in the early 2000s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the other part of me thinks that maybe it means nothing at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean any normal human being

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
would read a title called

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Freddy Got Fingered

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and run away in the opposite direction.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But to put it simply, this movie is about a 28 year old man

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Stop it, stop it, Mom, I'm a 28 year old man."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Hey, baby, he's a 28 year old man."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
His name is Gord and he moves to LA to be a cheese worker.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And also to pursue his dream of being a professional animator.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Seems pretty simple, right? Seems pretty cut and dry?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But that's where you'd be wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because so very many things happen in this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that are beyond human explanation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just to name a few,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green jerks off a horse

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he swings a baby around by its umbilical cord

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green walks around in a deer carcass

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And he goes scuba diving in his own toilet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Get out of that toilet![br]- (bubbling, gurgling)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But at the risk of sounding clinically insane

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and demented

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there are moments in this movie that I find kind of relatable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like this scene where the CEO of an animation company tells Gord that he doesn't like his drawings.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- It sucks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And so he immediately sticks a gun in his mouth and starts screaming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- The characters are so lame, I'm a loser.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wish I was dead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- (screaming)[br]- Wait, wait.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What makes this even funnier is that once he receives validation,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he takes the gun out of his mouth and acts like none of that ever happened at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Sir I can't work on this all day, I got a job at the cheese sandwich factory.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're mentally ill, and make art, this is the film for you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- It's time I grow up and get a job instead of acting like a little baby all the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I can't think of anything to draw because I'm so stupid.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm so stupid.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- And this movie surprised me in so many different ways

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For one, it made me laugh way more than I anticipated.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Can't you see we're both just a couple of stupid idiots.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Gord…[br]- (mocking) Gord! Gordie!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was also weirdly based at times.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I say weirdly because the early 2000s was a derogatory fever dream.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was like running thru the perfume department in SpongeBob

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but the perfume was slurs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gord ends up asking out this nurse named Betty

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she says yes, but afterwards he finds out that she's in a wheelchair.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At first I was like, oh shit, it's about to get real ableist in here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lel-lel-lel.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was truly prepared for the worst.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But my expectations were subverted when Betty ended up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not only the smartest person in this whole movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but her and Gord remain in a relationship for the rest of the film.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I have a bag of jewels for you.[br]- Gord…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- They're jewels, Betty.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Another interesting thing to me is that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Betty constantly wants to give Gord a blow (dolphin sound) job.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here me out dude!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She asks him this so many times in the movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that it comes off as very obviously satirical.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Gord, I don't care about jewels, I just wanna suck your cock

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My life's a little hectic lately,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm having trouble concentrating with all the skateboarding and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- you sucking my penis all the time[br]- (chuckling)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And again, my expectations are subverted by Gord repeatedly asking if they can just go out on a date.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I just think if we went out on at least one date

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and you didn't do any sucking right now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that would make the whole sucking to date ratio

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
far more balanced, you know?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- This could be a play on the trope of male protagonists in comedy especially

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
being obsessed with sex

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And not only that but women being ultra sexualized in these movies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not all the subversion in this movie is good, though, necessarily.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you were wondering how the movie got its title,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I shit you not, about 50 minutes into the film,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gord frames his dad for "fingering" his brother.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- At least I don't touch Freddy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He fingers him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- His brother who is like 25 and doesn't even live with them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- He's a molester!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's a child molester!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- But CPS literally goes into his apartment and takes him to the molestation hospital.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is this shocking?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uh, yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know if it's shocking compared to the other things that happen in this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is it in poor taste?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uh…luhh…luhh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But this whole framing of the fingering

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is the canon event that leads to the finale of the film.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When Gord pranks his dad by

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
abducting him in the middle of the nightand taking him to Pakistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- You're fucking dead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They could write books and novels and college theseses

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about everything else that happen between then and the ending

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but just know that this movie ends with Gord and his dad being covered in elephant c—(censor beep)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(elephant trumpeting)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Speaking of which, there's an elephant in this room!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The elephant is that I actually kinda like this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also the elephant is coming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is that so wrong?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And is it so wrong that maybe kinda

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I might be attracted to Tom Green in this movie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is it ok that he might be the Pete Davidson of the 90s?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Shut up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As far as career-ruining films go,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Tom Green took the failure of Freddy very very well.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He even showed up to accept his Golden Razzie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He rolled out his own red carpet too.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- Well done you guys. Give him some space.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Celebrate your successes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and your failures.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] A remake of an italian film from 1974

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Swept Away is a movie where Madonna plays the dumbest

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
most unlikable rich woman in the world

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who gets marooned on an island with an Italian sailor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who hates her and sexually assaults her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
3 minutes after that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's a time skip and suddenly they're in love.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a nasty nasty nasty movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I don't even wanna talk about it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It was so bad it caused Madonna to give up on acting entirely.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a disaster. Absolute agony to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially when you consider the movie was directed by Madonna's then-husband Guy Ritchie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Madonna later divorced Guy Ritchie in 2008

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but in my opinion queen should've divorced Guy Ritchie on the spot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for even suggesting this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Madonna] Ugh. It was rough.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's nothing glamorous about it, then you were really mean to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mrs. Ritchie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I just want to slap you on camera.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why, Mrs. Ritchie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For all those times you let Adriano slap me and never yelled cut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Ritchie] One more.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Madonna] And all those times they threw octopuses on me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you made me stay in the freezing cold ice water.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you made me run down the sand dunes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And all those times you ate my food.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you didn't pay me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you never said thank you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crying)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not gonna lie, I was riding the high

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of actually enjoying Freddy Got Fingered

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when Gigli came in and literally snuffed the life out of me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gigli is a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's about a mobster named Gigli

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
played by Benjamin, Benny Boy, Affleck.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Much like this review on Letterboxd,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I too hope Gigli k—(dolphin noises) himself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because not only does he abduct a mentally challenged teenager,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and abuse him while holding him for ransom,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What if I smack you in the fucking head?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's also just cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unforgivably so.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
J.Lo. is also in this movie, unfortunately

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she plays this other mobster or mobsterette

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who is supposed to help him take care of this mentally disabled kid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she also just happens to be a lesbian.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It means I'm a lesbian.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or should I say, the least convincing lesbian in film history.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No lesbians were consulted in the making of this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because what the fuck is this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's turkey time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Huh?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gobble gobble.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You may not be able to tell

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because this is the weirdest way I've ever heard anyone describe it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but she's talking about eating (dolphin sound) ussy here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I really don't know who told J.Lo.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or whoever wrote this script

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that lesbians call that turkey time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But whoever it was deserves to be taken out behind a barn and shot.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Of course Gigli doesn't respect her sexuality.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Your girlfriends, they're at a natural disadvantage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They might try hard but they're not just backed up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by millions of years of genetic engineering.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He whines and complains throughout the whole movie about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh, it's not fair, she's a lesbian but I'm attracted to her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I wanna be with her.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know why I'm fucking sad?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because I've got this fucking

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
beautiful, sexy, gorgeous heartthrobba-rama

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fucking smart, amazing, bombshell

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
17 on a fucking 10 scale girl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sleeping on the bed right next to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She's a stone cold d—(vine boom)—yke.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A fucking untouchable, unaffable

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
brick wall fucking d—(vine boom)—kossaurus rex.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(mocking) Eugh…eugh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And after enough complaining, Ricki starts doing deeds with him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not like this is realistic at all in anyway,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but in the hypothetical scenario

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where for some reason a lesbian had sex with a guy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it would not be with this guy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's always like licking his teeth and shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But luckily there's not just lesbian cringe,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This ain't fucking lesbian talk circle time!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's also plenty of heterosexual cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
God bless you penis.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And gay cringe.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not gay!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Despite this movie literally being about mobsters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
nothing mobster-related really happens in this movie until the last 30 minutes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where for some reason Al Pacino is here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You piece of shit!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sure this is Al Pacino's favorite role of all time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
right up there next to Jack and Jill.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ok, come on, low bat it here pitcher, we got em.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ho!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ho!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But to give it to you straight,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the movie ends with Gigli leaving the mentally disabled kid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on a random beach with the cast of Baywatch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's literally played out like it's supposed to be this inspirational thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like a tearjerker or something.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(inspirational music)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Meanwhile, Gigli and Ricki ride off into the sunset

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just as she's telling him that he should wear some makeup.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know I bet you'd look awesome in some mascara.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do not watch this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You will get a UTI.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or that other thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok first of all this movie is Catwoman in name only.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Despite being a DC comics movie,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Catwoman of this movie has pretty much nothing to do with the Catwoman from Batman.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This character has a different name

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
lives in a different city

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and gets her cat superpowers from a magic cat burping in her mouth.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just so stupid, it's actually really fun to watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially the CGI Halle Berry during the action scenes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's so funny.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As you might expect this movie bombed hard

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
probably because they put it out around the same time as Spiderman 2.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a pretty infamous superhero movie now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the director Pitof was basically laughed out of Hollywood

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and never directed a movie again.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But Halle Berry embraced this movie was a flop

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and she even showed up in person to accept her Razzie award.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
First of all I wanna thank Warner Bros.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crowd laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you for putting me in a piece of shit god-awful movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(crowd laughing, cheering)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Berry cheering)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dirty love is a…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"comedy",

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
created by Melissa McCarthy's cousin,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
notorious anti-vaxxer and Masked Singer judge, Jennifer McCarthy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
She stars as a woman who gets dumped by her boyfriend and her life falls apart.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's really unhinged but not in a funny kind of way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
More in a "I'm born uncomfortable and I wanna leave the room," kind of way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I actually had a hard time finding clips of this movie online

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because it's pretty obscure and nobody likes it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's mostly badly delivered jokes and gross out humor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with a feminine spin.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And by feminine spin

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I, of course, mean period jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like this scene where a bleeding Jenny McCarthy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
goes to a grocery store in white skirt and no underwear

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and almost bleeds out on the floor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, relatable comedy for women.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing so you wouldn't understand, boys.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a girly thing, it's a girly thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(sing-song) Hashtag just girly things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So this a sequel to Basic Instinct

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an erotic murder mystery thriller from the early 90s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's maybe best remembered today for this scene

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where Newman from Seinfeld sees Sharon Stone's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
bare, uncensored (censor beep)-ssy in an interrogation room.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The original was nominated for a few Razzies in its day

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but it was a massive box office hit

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and is today remembered as a pretty solid neo-noir thriller.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, Basic Instinct 2 on the other hand only exists

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because Sharon Stone was promised 14 million dollars to star in the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When the producers tried to cancel it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
she sued them to force them to make it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Don't take it so hard.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even Oedipus didn't see his mother coming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] It's kind of hard to talk about this movie without spoiling a bit of the original.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I will say that overall I didn't hate this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I also barely remember anything about the plot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I only saw it a couple of months ago.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It rehashes a lot of the same story beats and plot points as the original,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just not as good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Would I call it a terrible movie?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, not really.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But compared to the original,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's pretty bland and forgettable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But that's what happens when your only reason for making a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is to avoid a massive lawsuit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Gotta love showbiz, baby.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I Know Who Killed Me is a horror movie starring Lindsay Lohan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as a girl who is killed by a serial killer

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but survives and wakes up in the hospital saying she's someone else.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie was released in July 27, 2007

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
right at the peak of the tabloid frenzy about Lindsay Lohan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and her struggles with alcohol and drug addiction

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there was a lot of attention on the movie while it was filming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially because Lohan checked into rehab the first time

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a month into the production.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The film set was swarmed with so much paparazzi

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that some of them even showed up in the background of a few shots in the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then a couple months after filming wrapped,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Then on July 24th, just three days before the movie was released,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lohan was arrested for drunk driving again

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and couldn't even attend the premiere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of this negative media attention made Lindsay Lohan enemy number one in Hollywood.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Critics eviscerated this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in a year since its release,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this film has kind of become a cult classic among horror movie fans.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's been screened in theaters many times over the last decade.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've seen a lot of people online compare it to giallo movies,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an Italian film genre popular in the 60s and 70s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that mixed elements of murder movies, slashers, and erotica.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The influence of giallo is definitely present here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a stylish weird thriller

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Lohan's background made her kind of perfect for the role

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as the main character quickly transforms from a sweet high school girl

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into a deeply traumatized young woman with a robotic hand.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's definitely not for everyone, myself included,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but if you're into weird gory horror movies,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there's a lot to vibe with here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a much better movie than Norbit, that's for sure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Have you ever seen Norbit?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ooh! Ah! Bitches!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(screaming)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Love Guru is a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
written by, directed by, and starring Mike Meyers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's mostly remembered as the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that completely tanked his career

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and caused him to step away from Hollywood for 8 years.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Critics and audiences both hated it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
With critics calling it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
lazy, immature, mindless, pitiable, insulting, painful, gross, contemptuous, racist, and unlikable,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
among many other things.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But don't take their word for it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Take my word for it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't have any other words for it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that pretty much sums it up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here's a scene they use in the trailer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Woah! How did you get there?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(groans)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This little guy scared the crap out of me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Think I might have to do a panty check,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I might have some monkey mustard back there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Who is this prick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Shh.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Man, how do you do? Shrimp?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What did you call me, jagomoe?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm sorry I didn't catch your gnome—name!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You are a midget.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] The plot of this movie is Mike Myers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
plays a self-help guru named Maurice Pitka

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was raised in India

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wears a chastity belt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and dreams of being on Oprah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's hired by the Toronto Maple Leaves

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to help their star player get back together with his wife

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because he is the Love Guru

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and only he can save their marriage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's basically a one note movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that feels like it was written by a 10 year old boy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Every seen goes on for way too long,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Mike Myers keeps laughing at his own jokes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and pretty much every line is about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
poop, pee, farts, balls, or dicks,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with many of the characters' names being dick jokes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We got Tugginmypudha,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
coach Cherkov,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Le Coq,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dick Pants,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Evasive laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's not funny that John Oliver is named Dick Pants.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] It's not… (laughing)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok, I'll be the first to say that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't think any of the Transformers movies are particularly good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That being said,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is definitely the worst one,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if only for how offensive and annoying it is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Pretty much every Transformer introduced in this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
either talks with a racist accent,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or the most annoying cartoon voice imaginable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And when it isn't being annoying or racist,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's doing shit like this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Name's Wheelie. Hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Say my name, say my name. Hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What are you allowing[br]to happen to your foot just now?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At least he's faithful, Sam.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, well, he's faithful,[br]and he's nude and he's perverted.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hah…hah…hah…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(sighs)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like is it any wonder Megan Fox quit the series after this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sadly this movie ended up making 836 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which was about a hundred million more dollars than Up made that same year.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This thing's gonna give me a heart attack, I swear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- That's 'cause you was a wuss.[br]- You did force me into that car, right?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh I think he scared.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hey Mudflap. What we gonna do with this shrimp taco?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lemme just pop a cap in his ass, throw him in the truck,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and then nobody gonna know nothing, y'know what I mean?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- No one's gonna pop any caps in any asses. Ok?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- I've had a hell of a day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why don't you get a haircut with your bitch ass?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What can I even say about this movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that hasn't been said a thousand times already?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This live action trashfire directed by M. Night Shyamalan

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
attempted to condense the first season of an amazing animated TV show

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into a 90 minute CGI-filled mess.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Maybe if you watch this,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
having never seen the original series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's just another lame Hollywood fantasy action movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But for fans of the series, this was offensively bad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The creators of the show were not allowed to give any input on the movie's development.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Beloved characters were made one-dimensional and pointless,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
major plot points were skipped over,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
characters' names are pronounced wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How do you even screw that up?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This movie made a lot of money

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but was so hated by audiences

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that Paramount must have known that they couldn't fool people twice

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and cancelled plans to adapt the other 2 seasons,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
effectively sinking the career of the kid who played Aang before it even began.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just sad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole movie is a sad waste of source material.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You'd probably have a better time playing the official Wii game

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
than watching this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(vaguely Asian music)[br](wheels skidding)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[Evasive] Ok, maybe not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(dramatic, haunting piano)

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Alright, Razzies, respectfully,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what the fuck?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wouldn't call myself a Twilight fan,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I never read the books and I didn't watch the movies until recently,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but even I know that the last movie in the Twilight series

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
isn't that bad a movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's ridiculous, sure, but out of all the movies in this series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's definitely the most interesting and most exciting entry aside from the first one.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Obviously they gave it Worst Picture as a sort of dig at the entire series,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
since none of the others had won Worst Picture before,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but come on.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Breaking Dawn Part 2 is fun.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's got a big fight scene on a frozen lake,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's got a girl named Renesmee,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it concludes one of the most iconic and most stupid blockbuster series of all time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's so entertaining and over the top

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that even if you hate Twilight and everything about it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can't tell me that this movie is worse than the Adam Sandler movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where he shows a 13 year old impregnating his teacher.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can't tell me that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because you'd be wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let me start this one off by

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
showing you the list of people that were involved in this movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that's not even all of them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Movie 43 is a compilation of raunchy comedy sketches

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
each directed by different people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Made on an impossibly cheap budget of 6 million dollars,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this thing took 3 whole years to film

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the producers worked around actors' schedules

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to maximize how many famous people could show up on this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The sketches themselves are a relentless onslaught of dirty shock humor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Hugh Jackman has balls on his face.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Chloe Grace Moretz spills period blood on the wall.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where a horny cat pisses on Elizabeth Banks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's one where Kieran Culkin wants to leave a hickey on Emma Stone's vagina.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My personal favorite was the one where Anna Faris asks Chris Pratt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to poop on her during sex.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- So he takes some—[br]- Poop Viagra.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And then gets hit by car.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I love you, I wanna marry you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh my god. Doug, no!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're feeling sadistic,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
throw this on, on your next bad movie night with friends.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's got a little something for everyone.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't even know what the hell Movie 43 means.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I'm in Movie 43, maybe I'm in Movie 44.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So if you're unfamiliar, Kirk Cameron was a child actor in the 80s

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who took a hard right turn into Evangelical Christianity

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and has since appeared almost exclusively

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in low-budget Christian movies and radio programs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Today, he's mostly known for his inflammatory publicity stunts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like in 2020, when he organized maskless Christmas carols in LA

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to protest COVID restrictions,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he called "communism disguised as public health".

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know the type.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's a nutcase,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and his movie had been dunked a hundred times before by YouTubers already

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because for a while, this was the lowest-rated movie on IMDB,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with an average rating of 1.3 out of 10.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which he claimed was the result of an atheist conspiracy on Reddit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The whole movie takes place in one house

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and almost every scene is him using weird circular reasoning

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to explain how non-Christian Christmas traditions

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
had actually been Christian all along.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Like how Christmas trees were God's idea

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because God created trees.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or how the holiday isn't actually materialistic

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because the ability to buy gifts

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is God's gift to humanity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just boring.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just a boring movie where nothing happens

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and everyone is just sitting or standing around

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not doing anything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The only remotely entertaining part of the whole movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is when all the extras have an epic dance party at the end.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
♫ (Angels we have heard on high, trap remix style) ♫

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fant-four-stic is a classic case of too many people having their hands in the same movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The writers disagreed on everything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The director Josh Trank slept with a loaded gun on him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because he got death threats for casting Michael B. Jordan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fox executives had whole scenes cut out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and other scenes reshot without Trank's approval

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because they thought his version was too dark.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Trank also put out a tweet before the movie came out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
basically disowning it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The end result of all of this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was an ugly, boring mess of a movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
where there's no real stakes or tension anywhere.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They don't even have them become superheroes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
until halfway thru the movie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and most of the time they're just standing around

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
talking and not doing anything.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can see the remnants of a decent movie in here

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like in this scene where Miles Teller wakes up on a hospital bed looking like Lanky Kong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But we'll never know what the movie was supposed to be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because nobody cares.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's no one out there saying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
hashtag release the trank cut.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want them to go see just a really great movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Something that is different from…uh…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dr. Doom is one of the top 5 greatest characters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that ever come off a comic book—panel.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Science is really cool and this is something that…hopefully…

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So 2015 was another tie

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with Fifty Shades of Grey also being awarded Worst Picture.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is another movie where I"m like,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what can I possibly say about this that hasn't been said already?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's based on an erotic novel that started out as a Twilight Fanfiction,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the stars have no chemistry

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and nothing about their relationship is believable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie spawned that Love Me Like You Do song

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's haunted retail workers for almost a decade now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's just a bad movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's boring and bad and it made over 500 million dollars

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so rather than repeat the same things that a 100 other YouTubers have said

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'll just leave you with a little mental image.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
See, this movie came out on Valentine's Day 2015.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize Kayllynn and Greg

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from Sugar Land, Texas

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who went to see this at the local AMC on Valentine's Day.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize Kayllynn giving Greg a dry handjob

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at the back of the theater, 40 minutes into the movie.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize them going to Applebees after

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and eating a slightly burned chicken breast

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and some unseasoned broccoli.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want you to visualize—

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you don't know already,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Dinesh D'Souza is a far-right political commentator

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who's been releasing propaganda films every year since 2012.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He also pleaded guilty to campaign finance fraud in 2014

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and was sentenced to 5 years probation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During which, he made Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Released in the summer of 2016,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hillary's America is a movie that claims it's a documentary

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but aside from a few news clips and some scripted-sounding interviews,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
much of the movie is either historical reenactments

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or D'Souza talking to terrible actors

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and trying to pass it off as documentary footage.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The movie opens with D'Souza being sentenced for fraud

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which he claims was a Democratic conspiracy to shut him up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and from there he goes to prison

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and starts interviewing other prisoners about how gangs work

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, gangs are[br]all about stealing, man.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What's the biggest gang?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right in your face.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Politicians, man.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
- How does a gang make money?[br]- Any way they can, you know?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Trafficking, smuggling,[br]stealing, extortion,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah, but how do they pull it off?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Later on, he visits the Democratic National Headquarters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and it's all done up to look like a high-tech museum

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for the glory of the Democratic Party.

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Then he sneaks into the restricted part of the building

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and breaks into the secret archives

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to reveal the secret information

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that is literally in the curriculum of 8th Grade US History.

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Like, "Hey guys, did you know that most of the slaveowners in the Civil War were Democrats?

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Wow, isn't that crazy? How come no one's talking about this?"

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The sad truth is this movie sold 13 million dollars worth of tickets when it came out.

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Which means that hundreds of thousands of very gullible Americans saw this in theaters.

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And many probably dragged their impressionable kids to see it with them

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when all those kids wanted to do was play the new Pokémon Go game that just came out.

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It's depressing to think about.