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Conflict resolution

or how to avoid conflict with other people,

which is a typical problem with everybody.

Dealing with Conflict
Jacque Fresco

The reason for conflict

is because people come 
from different places,

different environments.

And they bring with them attitudes 
which they picked up there.

So merely commanding another person,

saying to another person,

“You ought not to think the way you think”

does not alter the behavior.

So, if you really want to get along with people,

only when they say to you

“What’s the best way to put 
the shovel into the ground?”

“Use your foot, it’s easier.”

But if they don’t ask you, let it go.

The best way to avoid conflict is to not

superimpose your values, even though they’re
better than the other person values...

whatever their views are.

Unless they say to you. 
“What do you think of my views?”

Then you can give your opinion.

So, In working with conflict,

you do it once or twice.

You say "It seems to me 
if you held the drill this way...

first, it would work better

and that's what I found."

But if a person doesn't ask you and 
they're busy drilling and they say

"I don't want your fuckin' advice!"

"You tend to your computer, 
I'll tend to my drilling."

Sometimes people don't want advice. 
They feel they're being put down.

Stop giving one another advice, 
that produces antagonism.

Unless they ask for it.

Now, is this an absolute formula? 
It's a better way of dealing with people

because you can't turn them around 
by pointing out

"The trouble with you is 
you don't listen to anybody."

That doesn't cause them to now listen.

They'll go on with their same pattern, 
unless they say to you:

"Am I inattentive?"

or "Do I appear inattentive?"

Very few people talk like that.

That's what sane means. Sane means,

when a person comes over to you and says

"I'm not familiar with that jigsaw, 
how to use it."

Then you instruct them.

If they come over everyday and say

"I don't know how to use a jigsaw" 
watch them and guide them through it.

Does that make sense?

Do you have any attitudes now about different 
people that think differently than you do?

They think differently than you do, period.

Making a comment as 
"You're dimwitted" or "slow"

"The trouble with you is that 
you have no imagination!"

That doesn't alter behavior,

it only increases conflict.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

If a person is a very good 
painter of roses

and you like roses,

then you will associate with 
him for that reason.

But if he says "If you just ask me,

all the Irish ought to be 
sent back to Ireland."

say "Well, I don't feel that 
way about the Irish so

I'd rather not discuss it.”

"I think there are Swedes that behave badly

and some Swedes that behave well." 
You can say that.

He might understand that 
"...but I appreciate your comments."

Don't wipe him out. 
"You're a racist!"

You know, don't wipe him out.

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