WEBVTT

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Way before the first selfie,

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the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth

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about someone a little too obsessed 
with his own image.

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In one telling,

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Narcissus was a handsome guy wandering
the world in search of someone to love.

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After rejecting a nymph named Echo,

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he caught a glimpse 
of his own reflection in a river,

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and fell in love with it.

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Unable to tear himself away,

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Narcissus drowned.

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A flower marked the spot of where he died,
and we call that flower the Narcissus.

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The myth captures 
the basic idea of narcissism,

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elevated and sometimes 
detrimental self-involvement.

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But it's not just a personality type
that shows up in advice columns.

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It's actually a set of traits classified
and studied by psychologists.

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The psychological definition of narcissism
is an inflated, grandiose self-image.

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To varying degrees, narcissists think
they're better looking,

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smarter,

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and more important than other people,

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and that they deserve special treatment.

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Psychologists recognize two forms
of narcissism as a personality trait:

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grandiose and vulnerable narcissism.

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There's also narcissistic 
personality disorder,

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a more extreme form,
which we'll return to shortly.

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Grandiose narcissism 
is the most familiar kind,

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characterized by extroversion,

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dominance,

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and attention seeking.

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Grandiose narcissists pursue 
attention and power,

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sometimes as politicians,

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celebrities,

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or cultural leaders.

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Of course, not everyone who pursues
these positions of power is narcissistic.

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Many do it for very positive reasons,

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like reaching their full potential,

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or helping make people's lives better.

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But narcissistic individuals seek power

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for the status 
and attention that goes with it.

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Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists
can be quiet and reserved.

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They have a strong sense of entitlement,

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but are easily threatened or slighted.

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In either case, the dark side of
narcissism shows up over the long term.

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Narcissists tend to act selfishly,

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so narcissistic leaders may make risky
or unethical decisions,

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and narcissistic partners may be dishonest
or unfaithful.

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When their rosy view of themselves
is challenged,

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they can become resentful and aggressive.

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It's like a disease where the sufferers
feel pretty good,

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but the people around them suffer.

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Taken to the extreme,

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this behavior is classified 
as a psychological disorder

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called narcissistic personality disorder.

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It affects one to two percent
of the population,

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more commonly men.

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It is also a diagnosis 
reserved for adults.

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Young people, especially children,
can be very self-centered,

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but this might just be a normal
part of development.

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The fifth edition of the American
Psychiatric Association's

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Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

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describes several traits associated
with narcissistic personality disorder.

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They include a grandiose view of oneself,

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problems with empathy,

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a sense of entitlement,

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and a need for admiration or attention.

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What makes these trait a true
personality disorder

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is that they take over people's lives
and cause significant problems.

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Imagine that instead of caring
for your spouse or children,

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you used them as a source
of attention or admiration.

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Or imagine that instead of seeking

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constructive feedback 
about your performance,

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you instead told everyone 
who tried to help you

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that they were wrong.

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So what causes narcissism?

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Twin studies show 
a strong genetic component,

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although we don't know 
which genes are involved.

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But environment matters, too.

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Parents who put their child
on a pedestal

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can foster grandiose narcissism.

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And cold, controlling parents
can contribute to vulnerable narcissism.

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Narcissism also seems to be higher

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in cultures that value individuality
and self-promotion.

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In the United States, for example,

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narcissism as a personality trait
has been rising since the 1970s,

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when the communal focus of the 60s

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gave way to the self-esteem movement

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and a rise in materialism.

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More recently, social media has multiplied
the possibilities for self-promotion,

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though it's worth noting

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that there's no clear evidence
that social media causes narcissism.

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Rather, it provides narcissists a means
to seek social status and attention.

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So can narcissists improve 
on those negative traits?

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Yes!

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Anything that promotes honest reflection
on their own behavior

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and caring for others,

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like psychotherapy or practicing 
compassion towards others, can be helpful.

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The difficulty is it can be challenging

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for people with 
narcissistic personality disorder

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to keep working at self-betterment.

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For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard
from an unflattering angle.