This story began a few years ago.
I didn't witness the event
and would never imagine its impact on my life.
Three days without food, like you asked.
I can't see any.
They might be crouching somewhere.
Hey, kitty kitty. Quack quack...
To the fucking lion? Open the trunk.
Stefan? I heard your voice.
What's going on?
- Let me invite you to dinner. - But I'm not hungry.
You're not the one eating.
You're the one to be eaten.
Here they are.
Is this a joke or what?
Stefan, why? After all these years on stage...
All ends one day, my friend.
Come on, Stefan. Remember Adria, Metropol, Ritmo?
Your fantastic solo on the comb.
Shut it. You're making me sick.
I hated that comb just as I hate you...
Mariano Italiano.
How could I play along with that shit?
Stefan, come on. For Christ sake!
A FEW YEARS LATER...
Kamikaze, please.
And one for the lady.
- It's a year's worth of my work. - You're an accountant?
It's a comic book entitled, MYSTERY OF THE FACELESS MAN.
You know what the publisher said?
He asked why the protagonist had no face.
"A protagonist has to have a face so I can remember and recognise him."
I tried to explain this was the point. The crucial principle.
A man with no face intrigues, scares makes readers search for clues.
- You get it? - No face is still better than no money.
- The moron made me draw faces. - Give him a fucking TV celebrity.
- Nice chick. Looks like Britney Spears. - Who?
Don't know Britney? You're an alien?
STARRING:
I've been busy drawing, I might be out of touch.
That's some downer, dude.
SPECIAL APPEARANCE:
Please, get back on stage, now.
I can't work in these conditions.
It isn't my fault that the power is down again.
Is it mine, then? What about poor audio,
rats in the wardrobe and the support singer with tonsillitis?
- Where are you going? - Home.
Where?
To the living room.
- You mean bastard! - Honey, why so quick?
- I can slow down. - Quiet.
- Anything wrong? - No, why would you think so?
Can you stop when I'm talking to my boyfriend?
You... Diamond, how could you do this to me?
With this tone-deaf support.
I'm not a support, I'm a singer.
Now I know where you got your tonsillitis.
- All she did was pick up the mic. - I'm through with you!
Wait up, let's talk.
You can't just move out like that.
Of course I won't. This is my flat!
DIRECTED BY:
Who's going to make your videos now?
COYOTE'S MORNING
A young male coyote, caught in the noose during his nocturnal hunt
takes along time to take in the facts.
He only fully grasps his tragic situation at dawn.
Then, in a last act of desperation the young coyote bits off his paw
preferring this to being caught by a moustached Mexican.
No more drinking with you.
You were just getting started after a year spent over your desk.
Go on, draw up a list of new life's resolutions
and pin it over your bed.
- What resolutions? - The usual ones.
I won't use four-letter words, I'll collect Pepsi caps
and win the holiday trip of my life.
I'd send you and Creamy there to enjoy some peace of mind.
Kuba, don't be mad, I need someone to fill in for me at work.
I have a date with this babe from the video rental.
- Me? - Yes, it's a banquet on the outskirts.
Generous tips, and you said you were strapped for cash.
I'm not cut out to be a waiter.
Are you crazy? It's no big deal.
You come in with a full tray, them rednecks grab the glasses
you get back to the kitchen for a re-fill.
- First, I need to get some sleep. - OK, just don't forget.
Check this out, Creamy.
Imagine they do the same tricks in bed.
- Who's there? - It's me. I need to talk to Savage.
Get in.
Boss, excuse my interrupting, but have you read the Super Day today?
- Of course. - In that case, sorry.
Hold on, Tiny.
- Ever seen me read? - Not really.
It doesn't mean I can't read, right Krzyé?
Many years ago, I read two books that influenced my life...
and my romance with literature came to an end.
PAMELA ANDERSON'S BREASTS ARE SMALLER!
This should be interesting.
- Fine piece of ass. Anyone I know? - It's not about her.
Diamond and this singer of his, they broke off their engagement.
Ouch, ouch... and who's Diamond?
The filmmaker, gambler. He owes you a million,
while the babe, she comes from a very rich family.
Diamond claims he's engaged to her, and will pay you back after the wedding.
Apparently, this is not an option now.
She's a daughter of Mariano Italiano. He was hit in the zoo a few years back.
Correct, but the money comes from her mother's aristocratic family.
The business is now run by the stepfather. Quite a tricky player.
He was in Mariano's band, the comb guy. When the other died
he got hitched with the widow, and now controls the finances.
- Well, take care of our Diamond. - You mean, take him out?
He won't pay then, will he?
Give the boy a second chance.
They might still reunite.
Noemi, come back to me.
Dominika, listen, I wish to be alone after all that happened to me.
I'm in no mood for banquet singing,
and I don't care what Stefan promised.
Don't reject this love! I love you.
It's on TV.
Wait a moment.
Hello, we're with the "I'm sorry" show.
Any idea who sent you those flowers?
- What if they don't reunite? - It says here she's got a sister.
He can marry the sis.
Boss, can I take my brother for this work? He's just come over from Olsztynek.
He does some bouncing in Vanessa, but he's born to do ambitious work.
Be my guest.
Mao.
Game over.
Oh, my, my...
Some wait a long time for a job from Mr. Savage.
I can't hear you. Did you just thank me?
Is this the word you're mumbling?
I must be in Vanessa within the hour. I don't want to be late.
A bouncer in Vanessa - is this the peak of your ambition?
I promised mommy that you would make it in the world.
I'll keep my promise.
But I like my work.
Baldy promised to get me an original security badge.
An original badge? Way to go, man!
You must know very influential people...
Ask him to fetch you a flat tyre, too.
Or a rancid coconut car-freshener!
- Why are you blinking, poor eyesight? - Talking about yourself?
Who are you visiting?
- How can I help you, boys? - By bitchslapping yourself.
Oh, that's a good line.
- Man, you broke my nose. - Savage sent us.
I hear you've been dumped.
She caught me red-handed. But she'll forgive me.
- Is everything OK? - Mr. Handsome got spoilt.
Bring me some cotton.
Tell Savage I'm collecting cash for him.
Savage is no Albanian, you don't collect money for him.
You'll bring it, pronto, and apologise you made him wait.
- You've got one month. - Month?
Savage is offering you a second chance. You'll marry her sister.
Dominika? Are you insane? I'm not marrying a troll like that.
You've got no choice.
High Life places me on the Top 5 Most Eligible Bachelors in Warsaw.
Do you know what that means?
- You shave your legs? - Very funny.
If my buddies see me or someone takes a photo...
What if they see your corpse in Cops?
Earth to Diamond! This isn't a beauty contest,
your ass is on the line.
One more thing. Your fiancée can't catch you in the act, again.
You're given a strict ban on pussy until further notice.
A ban? I'm currently dating four fiancées.
No pussy, capisce?
It's for your own good.
- Jaws, let's go. - Goodbye.
- Who the fuck are you? - I'm a director of action movies.
Will Tampax do?
That hurts!
Damn right! Four fiancées...
- So, I am number 3 or 4? - The other four mean nothing to me.
Life's taught me there's nothing worse
than a bunch of individualists.
So, let me explain some rules
you have to obey in this house.
First, primo, you're all here to work,
so no cigarettes, chit-chats and funny faces.
Second, primo, these cardboard boxes contain fireworks
worth 30,000 American dollars.
And I'm the only one who can light them!
Third, primo-ultimo,
no one opens these doors, ever.
- Why? - Because Rambo is locked behind them.
- And who is Rambo? - None of you interest, Dumbo!
Are we fucking clear, soldie... I mean... Is that clear?
Well then, sexy bitches, take care of some drinks.
You, cool cats, will be contacted via the radio.
ARE WE CLEAR???
Good evening.
I'm filling in for Witek.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you had been asked two years ago
whether a small, little-known company like Pol-Invest could win a government tender
you'd have smirked in disbelief and said it was impossible.
Well, if anything is impossible, get a guy who doesn't realise it.
He'll just come and do it.
I'd never have succeeded without the benevolence of senator Stanislaw Polack...
who's offered his disinterested support along the way.
This banquet is to honour him, as well.
Senator, Stanislaw, Staszek, please...
When I say "Poland", I see grains of wheat springing from fertile soil.
I see familiar storks nestled on a friendly cottage in Masuria.
I see amber charlock, dancing among buryan waves.
What the fuck is "charlock"?
And methinks the bureaucrats from Brussels munching their EU burgers forgot
what this nation, this people, however poor,
but proud and valorous
has done for Europe and the entire world!
Thank you.
I don't remember inviting you.
Your stepfather did. We play squash.
Nice to see you.
I promised that you would perform.
I'll sing because Dominika asked me to.
How could you stand her?
The nouveau riche, everything has to be grand...
the house, the limo, even the roasted pig.
Greenhorn, stay in the kitchen.
We're off to change golden handles.
- But I don't know what to do. - Chief Monkeyman will contact you.
Why would a nice girl be standing alone?
- Which one? - I meant you.
I always stand here during parties.
- What are you doing tomorrow? - Seeing my shrink.
- And the day after? - The same.
- Any days you're not visiting the shrink? - Wednesday.
Cool, why don't me go to the movies or to a restaurant, then?
Excuse me.
Of course.
Stop fucking about!
Prepare the pig, pronto!
Just a second.
Where's the pig?!
What the fuck is wrong with the pig?
I can't hear you. Some moron is screaming through the loudspeakers.
Hold on. Why does this pig have tusks?
It's a warthog.
A pig from Africa.
Needless, needless your worries photo will dust your memories.
Cast you sorrowful glances 'cause I'm through with romances.
Boy, are you smooth and quite gritty. You are something like pretty,
but please believe me all the same. The joy of parting, I'm feeling great.
So farewell, farewell honey, Girls who look for Hrst-prize money,
hardly ever look your way.
They can think you're sunny spell, when it's over go to hell,
and that will be your ordinary day.
You're not here to enjoy a concert. Get back to kitchen!
Bye-bye honey,
sweetie, Easter sugar bunny to be eaten in one day.
Splitting didn't make me hazy, makes me positively crazy,
there can be no other bigger joy, no way!
Bigger joy? No, no, no way!
Farewell sweetie... Farewell honey...
Farewell pretty... Farewell bunny...
Farewell sugar... Bye bye bye.
Let me invite you all to savour this delicious roasted pig
with traditional Polish stuffing.
Staszek, this one's especially for you.
Enjoy and let the feasting begin!
And?
What?
- Why does this pig have tusks? - 'Cause it's a warthog, an African pig.
Warthog yourself, stupid fuck!
- It's him, boss. - Anything wrong?
Rambo, take him!
Code red! Rambo is at Polack's throat!
- Anything wrong? - I got bored with trivial chit-chat.
I don't like the banquets, either.
I feel you. Still, they pay, you sing, right?
You're too good for banquet singing.
You've got talent. Make your own music!
I'm being chased by men who work for this balding grey-haired guy, the owner.
Any idea how to get out?
Wait for me at the parking lot.
There you are, mate.
- Hide, they're coming. - I got stuck.
I lost one of my lenses. That's OK, I can handle it.
- Thanks, I'm Kuba. - Noemi.
- Nice wheels. Yours? - It belongs to the band.
We take it to our banquet shows.
They pay well? No need to fix handles?
Just thinking aloud.
I'm a start-up waiter.
You're a waiter?
I'm no Prince Charming or Sheikh.
I'm not even a TV reporter.
You helped an ordinary kitchen aide.
Disappointed?
You got me wrong there. I did it, because you seemed nice.
Whether you're a waiter or chimney-sweep makes no difference to me.
What do you mean you can't?
My dictionary doesn't include words like: "I don't know", "I can't".
- What do I pay you for? - We'll catch him, boss.
- You, what's that in your ear? - An earpiece.
- Pretending to be in touch with HQ. - Try to stay in touch with your brain.
Get the fuck out!
Out!
Don't lose control.
Remember that each failure is breeding grounds for success.
Don't get overwhelmed by details.
Fucking hell!
What a bright night.
She's amazing...
pretty, interesting to talk to.
And she wears delicious lace panties.
Whoa, whoa... You only said she gave you a lift.
He's a totally different story. He wants to date me, not a famous singer.
How do you know?
He thinks I'm a banquet singer.
A banquet singer? Easy lay!
- Maybe he is just pretending. - No, I'd have known.
- What does he do? - He's a waiter.
You what?
Waiters are the worst kind!
Unfaithful, disloyal, focused on quickies.
At home they drink beer, and watch Eurosport 2417!
And they give you no tips in love.
Mark my words, he'll invite you to Vanessa with the free tickets he got at work.
Tickets to Vanessa, for you. 30 zlotys. It's the ideal place to get to her.
Think about it. He must be poor, with no future.
He won't fit into your world.
With him, you'll be feeling as if you wore a hat that was too small.
I'm fed up with high society assholes.
I used to date one waiter.
Even now, when I think of him, you know...
I crave for emotional bonding. It's good to be with someone...
with whom you enjoy conversations...
whom you can hug, cook dinner for.
Man, you've got me, I'm always there to swallow a hot fucking meal.
I guess I could fall in love with her.
You must be wondering why I chose a small backstreet cinema outside Warsaw
instead of a dolby stereo multiplex.
For me, places like this have a magical, unique feeling about them.
- Diamond, whassup? - Oh, hey Max.
What are you doing here?
You know, this is the only cinema my fiancée doesn't know of.
So I bring my other chicks over here.
Here, buy yourself some popcorn.
- Who's that? - You know, I'm with a charity now.
We help retards get on with their lives.
Cinema outings, field trips.
- This fashion came from the West. - It's so sweet.
- How can I get a vegetable like that? - You know, there's a downside to it.
Our patients have fits, they drool.
Cheer up, we're with you.
Listen, why don't we hit a club after the movie, just the four of us?
Er... I just remembered... I've already seen this movie.
Honey, let's go straight home.
Bye.
Let's go.
When I date him, I'm scared stiff.
I gulp down three beers, a vodka shot.
Nothing helps.
I've got a lump in my throat, get all speechless and dizzy.
I've never had a boyfriend, you see.
They've always been after my sis.
- What am I supposed to do? - Wh, wh, what?
- What do you think? - Good question.
- Do you dream of fires? - No.
Nothing to worry about, then.
- You're young, attractive... - You think so?
Lecherous men ogle you, when you walk in those ultra-short, provocative skirts.
They kiss your neck, ask you out to dance whisper obscenities into your ear...
until you walk away with one of them. Beata, you bitch.
- I am Dominika. - And I have scotch in the fridge.
I can't finish all our sessions wasted.
This one's borrowed from a friend.
I drive a Volvo, but left it for overhaul.
I've got a strange feeling that everyone keeps staring at us.
Do I have anything pinned to my back?
VIBE THAT MOVES CROWDS. NEW ALBUM BY NOEMI OUT SOON!
You barely look in my direction. I'm not attractive to you?
I've got more important things to do.
- No entry in these shoes. - Why?
We don't allow in sneakers. No admission for chavs.
- Man, can you see a chav around here? - I can see well enough. Got it?
- There must be some misunderstanding. - An awful one, sir. Just don't hurt me...
and enjoy your time in the club.
Step back before you get hurt.
- Don't you see... - Shut up, I see everything.
- Get lost, dude. - Let's go.
- Play a little nicer, dickhead. - Talkin' to me?
Baldy, get the bat.
- I'm sorry it turned out like that. - Why? It's such an exciting date.
Easy. Let me handle that.
Good evening, may I ask for your autograph?
- For whom? - My daughter. Angelika.
- For me too, please. Name's Piotr. - From you as well, sir. Just in case.
She played you for a fool. Nothing worse than an affair with a star.
No room for love in the world of showbiz.
I'll try anyway.
Where did you get all these?
I worked in a yoghurt factory.
When they fired me, they let me take as much as I pleased.
You were too good for this job.
Not the case.
I jacked off into the main mixing tank.
What? Mine is fine... I guess.
If you'd known straight off, you would've acted differently.
I wouldn't have passed for a complete idiot.
I didn't want you to judge me for what I do, but for who I really am.
Many guys dated me just to get into the social columns of magazines.
- I understand. - Where were you all this time, anyway?
You really didn't see any of my videos?
Been busy, lately.
Being a waiter is so absorbing?
I'm not a waiter. I was a replacement.
- So what do you do? - I write comic books.
Really? What about?
Well, I'm undergoing a creative crisis.
Just like me.
Zdzisio will secure the funds. We prepare the programme and off we go...
- You know, I've been thinking about us. - Me too.
I like you, because you're no fake.
I feel good when we're together.
It's very surprising to me...
But I'm not sure I want to engage emotionally.
I've just ended a catastrophic relation.
That's why I would like us to be friends.
Many people don't believe in friendship between a man and a woman.
In fact, I don't believe in it either, so if you want to kiss me, don't hold back...
Thanks a lot. Bye.
- Let me invite you to dinner. Sit down. - I've already eaten.
- Surprised to see me eat here? - Suit yourself.
I don't hold a grudge against you for the pig.
I'll forgive you even though my friend, senator Polack,
is still in hospital.
- It wasn't my intention. Sorry. - You know, in the past
before I became a wealthy businessman, I used to eat in diners like this one.
Try the chefs pork chop.
I want to give you a piece of advice.
It's about Noemi.
She's amazing and attractive to the eye.
But, she's very mean, she's dating you to play with me.
It's like a whim. You're her newest toy.
She's out of your league. You're not used to succeeding.
You live on a fantasy island called, "One day, I'll be..."
Wrong. You'll never be. You have no balls.
You won't be meeting her, got it?
- Nice speech about succeeding. - I read a lot, memorise.
A golden thought, from a manual for door-to-door salesmen.
You think you're smart, that you'll fit in high class?
No way.
I've tamed bigger sharks. And you're just a little mongrel.
Nlongrels belong in kennels.
If you stick your nose elsewhere,
you'll be put down or have you paw broken.
High society taught you that talk?
Remember that each winner requires a loser in the equation.
And I always win.
Good bye.
Whassu p?
- Why would you be on the floor? - Never mind...
Creamy, did you add some extra flavour to the sauce?
- You know what I mean. - Nope.
Shame.
But sometimes we take a leak into the chip oil.
Your character is a tough gangster,
who wants to take revenge on some really mean bastards who fucked him.
Why do you mean by "fucked him"?
They tricked him.
So, he gets one of them, points a gun...
- Will I get a gun? - No.
Give us a line that fits the scene.
Like what?
You know, gangsta style. They way you feel it.
- I don't like him? - Who?
- The other gangster. - No. Yes. I mean, no.
OK.
Now?
The gun.
Listen, buddy.
Don't make me not show you how I can boost a cup...
I mean, bust a cap in your ass.
- How's that? - OK. We'll call you.
- But I don't have a phone. - OK.
- Anyone else? - No, that was the last one.
To think you can't find a proper gangster in such a lawless country.
Why are you doing this to me? You dress like that to tease me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Let's go to your place, I bought French champagne.
I'm begging you.
Overstoring semen can lead to testicle malfunctions and scrotum ulcers.
- You know what... - What?
Buy yourself a sex doll.
Let's have a picnic.
- What's your name? - Dolores.
My name's The King of Teens.
And the money? You need to pay.
50 in the mouth, sex for...
Don't bother with the details, babe. French, the best.
- 100. - OK. Just don't forget the panties.
Sorry, Dolores. I'm too bold and beautiful to pay for sex.
- Why are you so tense? - I'm fine.
I've heard her friend is a nice girl. And she's got no partner.
A dance partner.
I need to go to the toilet.
I'll go to the... you know...
- What's wrong with them? - No idea.
Shall we dance?
- Yesterday, you disappeared so suddenly. - Ad hoc meeting with your father.
Stepfather.
- He didn't take to me, it seems. - A compliment of sorts.
- I was hoping never to see you again. - It's my fault, then?
Did I hop into some douche bag's car and drive away?
What was I to do, drink beer and watch speedway with you?
Let bygones be bygones. Now, my best pal is sitting there,
staring in your friend's eyes like a gecko at a fly.
So, let's get back there and pretend we're having fun.
His thugs did that to you. Bastards.
I hit the kitchen hood.
This isn't a disco.
Listen... Don't count on anything.
Meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me.
- I adore you. - Let's go somewhere together.
I have a cottage at the lakeside. I'll pick you up after the recordings.
Can you help me with these?
I can't reach.
Witek, listen.
There's been a huge misunderstanding.
My thoughts exactly when you started to undress me.
You filthy swine.
- Now, the other one. - What the fuck? You'll blind me.
- I want to help. Look up. - I can't when you push that shit in.
This shit cost me 350.
There you go.
- Yo. - What?
You're one ugly sod.
Hey, limp-wristed. Jump in.
We'll give you a ride.
What do you mean you can't?
I'm used to chicks who spread their legs without asking.
And this one must be frigid. I can't figure her out.
She told you "no"?
She's said three sentences in total.
And when we met, she puked all over me.
- Weird. - She's a weirdo, anyway.
She visits a shrink 6 times a week. I can't get to her,
so why don't you take me to the woods, and bury my corpse.
Nobody goes to the woods any more. Too much petrol.
Plus, you need a spade, you have to dig a grave.
Waste of fucking energy.
- We do it differently these days. - How?
Take a look around.
- Lions, tigers, polar bears. - You're not...
An right.
I can play all my best cards, but I need your help.
You're so mysterious. What do you really feel for me?
Me?
- Do you love me? - You?
You're playing with my feelings.
You could have any boy you liked
instead of wasting time with a guy like me.
It's not true!
Roses for the girl, young man?
I'll have them all.
- How much, granny? - 500.
A hundred short, young man.
Get back to your trade, woman.
- They're lovely, thanks. - I wish this moment could last forever.
Can you hear that song?
From this moment on
even on the other side of the world,
I'll think of you when I hear this song.
- This will be our song. - How did you know I like Enrique?
I didn't. It's a good sign.
- How much longer shall I play this? - Longer.
I want to give you something else.
Marry me.
I love you.
This feeling is like an epiphany, an act of God.
You were so close, yet I didn't see you.
I was dating the wrong sister.
If you don't love me, just tell me so.
I don't want illusions,
I'll turn on the gas, they won't rescue me, alas.
Don't do it. I love you, too.
- But I can't marry you. - Why?
Before you get married, you need to date for at least three months.
I read it in Bravo Girl.
Got the wedding date, yet? If you need a best man...
In a month's time.
Diamond, you're not lying to us, right?
No. The deal is done.
- Why am I carrying a stinking palm tree? - It's not a palm. It's a dracaena.
Whatever.
We'll get rid of this crap and go to your place.
First, we'll go to my place. And then, you'll get rid of this crap.
- You're sure you saw them together? - They went to the lakes in the morning.
- They have no respect for you, boss. - Take care of him.
I don't want to see him again.
Oh, my God.
Mariano Italiano was your dad?
Yes. He got me to sing.
- How did your parents meet? - A classic mismatch.
Just like us.
My mother comes from a very rich family.
One day she went to Ritmo with her friends...
And now, our guests from the Italian Peninsula
that have just arrived in their Alfa Romeo straight from Portofino.
From that night on they were inseparable.
Unfortunately, an evil shadow was lurking around dad. The comb guy, Stefan.
- How come you mum married him? - I guess she doesn't know that herself.
My dad's body was found four years ago, in a moat separating the lion's den.
- I'm sorry, I didn't know. - My mum was devastated,
looking for support. Stefan used the opportunity to weasel in.
If only you could see him then, the epitome of compassion, so caring.
- But he got tired of it, eh? - Never mind.
It's cold, let's get inside.
What about protection?
You're not on the pill?
Egoist.
I'll be careful.
- It's too risky. - But I'm in, already.
- Get out, then. - I don't want to.
- Stop arguing with me. - You'll give me neurosis.
800 metres from here, there is a petrol station.
Take a bike.
Be quick.
Jesus Christ!
Hello. Sir, are you all right?
Oh, Haus Kommando is calling.
- Hello. - Diamond?
Honey... I was just sleeping.
I was driving a car and something terrible happened.
Really, what is it?
- I think I knocked over a man. - Fuck.
Are you at the police station?
No, it's just some field. No one's around
and he's just lying there.
Where are you, exactly?
You've been drinking?
No, just half a bottle of scotch at the shrink.
Fuck!
I overheard that Stefan wanted to get rid of Noemi's boyfriend.
- You're in deep shit. This guy's dead. - Oh God.
What now?
I don't want to go to prison.
I'll get rid of the body. You go home.
Don't cause any more accidents.
- What's going on? - Oh, it's you.
- Yes, me. And you are...? - Me?
Hold this for me.
You know what, I'm feeling a bit funny.
It was dying in the city. In the wild, it will be revived.
Impossible, you're dead!
I'm dead because you killed me.
But my spirit will haunt you until you pay for your heinous crime!
- Stop scratching your eye. - It's uncomfortable.
Try to get used to it. Don't you feel that lenses made your life easier?
Easier? So many things happen around me, I can't think straight.
Let me do the thinking. Here's the deal, when you learn to sing like Stevie Wonder,
you can throw away the lenses and earn your living on stage.
Now, as long as you work for me, wear the fucking lenses, got it?
- What's up? - Diamond'll marry the sister and pay.
- You shook him a bit? - We took him to the zoo.
Fucking what? Take him to the cinema, too, and buy popcorn.
Let me finish, boss. We visited the bears, Jaws grabbed Diamond by the collar
and threatened to throw him in. Diamond was scared shitless.
I like this shit.
Soon, I'll be visited by Krzysiek Jarzyna from Szczecin.
We were supposed to go bowling or have sushi, but instead
we could throw Diamond to the lions.
- It's a smooth move. - But Diamond is about to get married.
We need to find someone, anyway.
I can't eat fucking sushi all my life.
- Su...what? - Sushi.
SEE WHAT I JUST DUG UP. PAY 250,000 USD ON THURSDAY.
OTHERWISE YOU AND YOUR JOHN WILL END UP BEHIND BARS.
Oh my God.
What's going on?
Nothing much. We got you a transplant for a German Shepherd's sexual organs.
- What? - Just kidding.
It's just the way of our doctor.
You were brought here two days ago.
- What's my condition? - Just a few bruises. You slept a lot.
- How long will I stay here? - Until we have free space in the morgue.
Doctor, stop.
You'll be held for observation. Two or three days.
- Why the fuck did I help you? - What are we going to do?
- Let's call the police. - Are you nuts?
The police can't know about it.
Either pay, or go to prison.
- Where do we get so much money? - "We"? There is no "we".
He wants YOU to pay.
You know what,
why don't you withdraw the money from the account your mother set up for you?
I can't live knowing that I killed a man, my sister's boyfriend.
It's terrible.
And now the blackmailer. They want to take all my money.
I don't know what to do.
- Do you think I should pay 250,000 USD? - What? How much?
Yes, yes! I mean, no! Excuse me, what's the exchange rate?
It's horrible that all your money which we could use to buy a flat,
furnish it, prepare a baby room
is going to a low-down blackmailer.
Don't worry, I'm doing this for us.
Let me do something for you as well.
I'll deliver the money myself.
I don't want you to risk your life.
What's he up to?
It's Witek. Kasia and I are headed to Sopot for a week.
See you.
What's going on? Kuba, are you all right?
I hope you're not mad at me for sending you to the station.
Please, call me back.
I'm in location.
Nobody around, for now.
Wait, I think someone's coming.
Two men.
Oh shit. Something's wrong.
One of them has a knife.
Fuck, man. Are you insane?
Take the money, but don't do it!
Oh God!
Bravo! Brilliant performance.
I've always admired your resourcefulness, but this really impressed me.
How did you know?
Dominika has a Tic Tac where she's supposed to have a brain.
- One look was enough to see her through. - I'll give her the money back.
No, you'll give it to me. Anything else?
What are you going to do with me?
You're a filmmaker, so I hope you get to appreciate my creativity.
The boys have set the scene.
- You wouldn't dare. - You'd be surprised, fucker.
- Where is he? - How the hell should I know?
- I'm not a seer. - That much I know.
There he is.
- Did I tell you about my wife's affair? - No.
A year ago, some metro cocksucker started to make his advances.
A start-up writer, or something. Total loser.
Hardly competition for you, boss.
Not exactly, my wife has always had a romantic streak.
She went absolutely crazy over him.
She took him on holiday to Africa.
I don't remember the country. Besides, new countries keep popping up over there.
Imagine that, on the very first day, they had an unpleasant adventure.
Someone broke into their hotel room and stole all their belongings,
aside from the camera and their toothbrushes.
They didn't take the camera?
Somehow they didn't.
The lovers saw nothing unusual about it.
My wife bought them new clothes with her credit cards.
They enjoyed their time,
went on a safari, took photos at sunset.
They stared lovingly in each ether's eyes.
They wanted to start a new life together after their return.
My wife was going to file for divorce, so they could get married.
They got back suntanned, and even deeper in love.
After some time my wife realised, though, that she hadn't developed the film.
Apparently, there were a few photos taken by three locals who broke into the room.
In those photos, you can see the negroes shove the toothbrushes up their asses.
For the entire month the lovers brushed their teeth with them.
Their love didn't survive the trial.
My wife, though she still loved that man,
couldn't bring herself to kiss him again,
for all she saw were the three negroes with his toothbrush up their asses.
What a coincidence.
Who said it was a coincidence?
- Morning. - Morning.
- Nice outfit. - Thanks.
- What brings you here? - I saw a familiar car, so
I thought I'd have a chat with Diamond. We go fishing together.
Oh, but Diamond is gone.
You might say he swallowed the bait.
- Anything else? - I can wait.
I'd like a cold beer, too.
Wait on your own plot.
Forgive me.
Now all my sons-in-law are here.
- Shall we dig Diamond out? - Give him 20 more minutes.
I'll take a leak.
Any more funny stories?
Let's have a bit of a laugh.
- I don't recall any. - Out with your money. Chop-chop.
And the car keys.
Marek, I owed you 400. I'll give it back to you now, OK?
Don't be such a smart-ass. Off with you.
Boss, we're in the woods.
Come over.
Krzysiek Jarzyna is here. I want to show him the zoo trick.
But Diamond isn't here.
He's no ranger, why would he be in the woods? Try the office.
- Krzyé, have you wired the money? - Of course.
JOKER, I'll be damned.
- Good afternoon, sir. - What do you want?
Have you recently used the service of one of our girls?
- Can you be more specific? - One girl claims you forgot to pay.
Is this about the money? How much? 50,100?I'm in a bit of a hurry.
No, the service is on the house.
I just thought you were dissatisfied and refused to pay the bill.
If it makes you and the girl feel better, let's say I was very satisfied.
And when she was blowing me, I was in heaven. OK?
Good, now you'll blow my partner.
Hello.
Dominika?
My Dears,
When you read this, I'll be far away.
Two innocent people died because of me.
First, I knocked over Noemi's boyfriend.
Then, blackmailers killed Diamond. I didn't tell him that
I'd given him paper cut-outs instead of bank notes.
It was my shrink's advice, I wish I hadn't listened.
Suicide is the only way out.
I've thought this through.
Goodbye, llove you all.
Yours, Dominika.
Go fetch him, Jaws.
I'll join him, just in case.
Stay. Diamond is no Capone to be escorted in twos, right Krzyé?
Second door to the left.
You see? Our Jaws is a pro.
- Did you have a good look? It's him? - Of course it's him.
You'll wreck his self-esteem.
- Got a sore throat, boss? - None of your goddamn business.
- I have painkillers, if you need them. - This pain can't be killed, so shut it.
- What have you done to Kuba? - Keep your voice down.
He's gone and he's not answering calls. What have you done?
Pacify her.
- Shut your trap, miss. - Piss off, monkey man.
Where is he?
Easy, bitch, or else you'll end up like your father.
Sorry, boss. Slip of the tongue.
What an idiot!
I never liked you.
You disrespected me. All I saw in your eyes was contempt.
It hurt like a splinter in my dick.
You can't just give me the cold shoulder.
I'm sensitive to that.
Your daddy forgot about that, too.
Big mistake!
I always remember and never forgive.
Any final, nice words you can offer me?
Throw her in.
What's that?
- What's our car doing here? - As I was saying, boss...
this is Diamond's neighbour.
Gentlemen, we have a case that doesn't involve you,
so let's not get into each ether's way.
No problemo. You were the first, throw in what you've got.
You, fetch me Diamond.
- Boss, one more in here. - Unpack.
The bear will have some fun, too.
I'll enjoy seeing this pair torn apart by lions.
Excuse me, are you the one who sings the hit...
llove you... bla bla, my beloved one?
That's me.
In that case I'm sorry, but you can't throw her in.
You won't order me about.
Why don't we trade? You'll get the boy.
But it's my boyfriend.
Do you love him?
Yes.
Now I'm really confused.
Excuse me, perhaps instead of us, young and in love,
you'd consider throwing him?
All he does is shout, thinks he's the smartest ass...
and he mocked me earlier.
You need some fine tuning,
'cause you're all fucking messed up.
You are jumpy, indeed.
And you're no good with people.
Sonny,
I've read 1,500 books on how to treat people.
When you picked your nose and ate goo, I jumped like a frog over the heads
of losers like you straight to the very top.
I'm born to succeed, while you, punk...
- I've read two books in my life. - Which ones? Read to me, Mommy?
One of them was The Godfather.
If you'd read that, you would know
that money isn't everything, that you don't betray your friends,
and you don't fuck their wives.
Instead, you stuffed your brain with crap about frogs and now force others
to buy your theories. Right, Krzyé?
Enough. Take care of him.
Not so fast, Mr. Froggy.
- You two, are you new in the business? - I used to work for Blacky.
Oh, yeah? Meet Mr. Krzysztof Jarzyna from Szczecin.
Thank you.
You're free.
Hold on just a sec.
What's wrong? Am I your boss or what?
Mr. Jarzyna is the boss of all bosses. No hard feelings.
Go home.
Take Mr. Froggy's car. He won't be needing it, right Krzyé?
No, thanks.
Unpack Diamond.
Damn, I should've taken her autograph.
What the hell?
- Excuse me, who are you? - Me? I'm a director of action movies.
Well, you're in for some real action.
Diamond?
How's my sister?
Unfortunately, the baboon's heart was rejected by her system.
- Doctor, please. Your sister's fine. - How did she manage to survive?
The bullet hit the stone, the shrapnels only bruised her arm.
- But she swallowed some poison, too? - Right...
But she choked on water and threw it up.
Resuscitation was pure formality.
With that, this gloomy story ends;
A lot of sensation for a short summer.
Noemi and her mother left the city to relax for a while.
They wanted me to join, but I thought they should spend some time alone,
and get to terms with the recent storm.
Post-traumatic coma. We're not sure he'll pull through.
His zoo mate, the gorilla, was very lonely.
It must've been a deep... shock for your husband.
Dominika suffered from shock, too. Yet, in her case
the effects were surprising. She gained in self-confidence,
started marketing studies a year later and took over Pol-Invest.
A movie entitled,
"The Promise of Sudden Death in Snake Valley"
became a box-office hit.
Critics praised the director for realism and a few fresh faces.
Kuba, good to see you.
Someone is waiting for you.
Why are you here, really?
You know... I bought one the other day.
I figured we could, you know...