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想像若你成為化石

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遊走於各大博物館之間

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讓大人小孩都心懷敬畏

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在大批殷勤的攝影師面擺姿勢

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感覺滿不錯的，是吧！

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那麼，祝你好運囉！

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99.9%以上曾經存在的生物

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都無緣成為化石

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那就不管他們
反正其他的能變化石就好

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所以聽仔細了

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如果你期待自己

12
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擠進那個0.01%俱樂部

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被供入化石名人堂中保存

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說來可真的不容易

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你得加把勁才行

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首先，你得死

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變成化石的過程可是冷酷無情的

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古生物學家發現的一切

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都曾是活生生的生命

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細節咱們就不談了

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假設你擁有長壽而幸福的一生

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然後再來看看最關鍵的部分

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怎麼個死法？

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變成化石的方式有很多

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讓我們看看高檔的做法

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你可以將自己裹在樹脂中

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樹脂凝固就變成琥珀

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可以保存幾百萬年仍完好無缺

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但除非你找到一棵夠大的樹

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不然琥珀很通常只能保存

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昆蟲和其他很小很小的動物屍體

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若你想變成化石

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一般而言，最佳的死亡處所

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是容易保存沉積物的地方

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像湖底或海床

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至於山頂或大草原

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不妥

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你死後必須儘早被埋起來

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越快越好

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因為暴露在外的時間越久

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就越可能被吃掉、吃個精光

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或是在能夠得到機會長久保存之前

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就被破壞了

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如果你埋身之處

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是缺氧甚至無氧的地方

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像是沼澤或是很深的湖底

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就更適合了

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缺氧會減緩屍體的腐爛

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為你爭取更多時間好變成化石

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那麼，假設你幸運地

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死後被埋在淺海

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泥濘的砂質沉積物下

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接下來會怎樣?

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有一種可能是經歷所謂
「完全石化」的過程

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你身體中柔軟的部分腐爛掉

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骨骼中充滿富含礦物質的海水

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漸漸地

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由海水中析出微小的晶體

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填滿骨骼裡的細孔

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不然，你得祈禱

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在你的骨骼腐朽時

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周遭沉積物會硬化

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有別的沉積物或礦物質

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能填充骨骼留下的空間

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形成完美的骨骼造型

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久而久之，你身體化石周圍的沉積物


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都變成岩石

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但你還是不能放心！

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這些沉積岩還可能

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發生許多變化

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都可能壞了大事

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導致後人無法發現你的化石

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它們可能因造山運動而被抬升

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再經侵蝕而流失

75
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或是隨著海洋板塊

76
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被帶入地殼之中

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將化石熔化殆盡

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如果這些都沒發生
只希望你周圍的岩石

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會被板塊

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緩慢的抬升

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隨著海平面改變

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你最終落腳在乾燥的陸地

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接近地表

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但又不會太淺

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以免你在被發現之前

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就被風雨或流水侵蝕殆盡

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這個漫長過程的最後一步

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是一位勇敢的古生物學家
必須要找到你

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也許她會是名專業研究員

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四處尋找你這樣年代和類型的化石

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或者只是業餘收藏者

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期待偶然的發現

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她敲開你上方的岩層

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或是辨識出經過一場洪水的溪畔

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你化石露出的部分

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賓果！

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一項重大的科學發現

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經歷幾百萬年的磨礪！

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她和同事們小心翼翼地

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把你挖出來

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他們發現的一點一滴

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都經仔細測量與拍照

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然後依據發現的證據



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開始複雜的重建工作

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研究你的生辰與生活方式

106
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古生物學家會是你超級粉絲的一部分

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還有博物館裡欣賞你的眾人

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你成功了！

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你在地下默默無聞了那麼多年

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流血

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流汗

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流淚

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失去五臟六腑

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拼命到只剩形骸

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直到你的骨骼解體

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被礦物和沉積物取代

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但這一切都值得

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因為你成為著名的化石了

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現在，保持那個姿勢別動！