WEBVTT

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[musical interlude]

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[door opens]

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Hey, Pewds?

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[clicks mouse] What?

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I wrote a book!

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I think you're gonna love it.

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It was inspired by you.

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This has already been written.

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[feigns surprise] What?!

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Maybe it'll be different.

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This is a graphic gay porno.

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Are you telling me the other <i>Twilight</i> is the same?

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It's pretty much the same thing.

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I'm sorry.

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Shit!

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What's with all the duck references though?

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[creepy music starts up] What do you mean, "duck references?"

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I'm a duck. Quack, quack. Stupid Pewds doesn't suspect a thing."

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Where did you get that idea?

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[in menacing tone] Why are you sweating?

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What do you mean, sweating?

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Haters gonna hate; ducks gonna duck. Quack.

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Oh shit!

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[crash] [punch] [PewDiePie groans in pain]

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What's going on here?

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[paper rustling]

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What is this?!

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It's so beautiful!

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Did you write this?

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Uhhh...yeah?

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[soft rock music starts playing] <i>It's been the longest winter without you...</i>

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<i>I didn't know where to turn to</i>

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<i>See somehow I can't forget you</i>

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<i>after all that we've been-</i>

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[phonograph screeches to a halt]

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I know a duck when I see one, bitch.

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[chainsaw growls]

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I feel like I'm mother fuckin' stuck...in this duck.

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It makes me want to quack, like, "What the fuck is that?!"