[musical interlude]
[door opens]
Hey, Pewds?
[clicks mouse] What?
I wrote a book!
I think you're gonna love it.
It was inspired by you.
This has already been written.
[feigns surprise] What?!
Maybe it'll be different.
This is a graphic gay porno.
Are you telling me the other Twilight is the same?
It's pretty much the same thing.
I'm sorry.
Shit!
What's with all the duck references though?
[creepy music starts up] What do you mean, "duck references?"
I'm a duck. Quack, quack. Stupid Pewds doesn't suspect a thing."
Where did you get that idea?
[in menacing tone] Why are you sweating?
What do you mean, sweating?
Haters gonna hate; ducks gonna duck. Quack.
Oh shit!
[crash] [punch] [PewDiePie groans in pain]
What's going on here?
[paper rustling]
What is this?!
It's so beautiful!
Did you write this?
Uhhh...yeah?
[soft rock music starts playing] It's been the longest winter without you...
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
after all that we've been-
[phonograph screeches to a halt]
I know a duck when I see one, bitch.
[chainsaw growls]
I feel like I'm mother fuckin' stuck...in this duck.
It makes me want to quack, like, "What the fuck is that?!"