WEBVTT 00:00:12.491 --> 00:00:14.700 Well, I've been teaching stress management 00:00:14.700 --> 00:00:16.910 for a good 30 years, 00:00:17.560 --> 00:00:19.288 and I have to tell you: 00:00:19.288 --> 00:00:21.017 people are going insane. 00:00:21.387 --> 00:00:22.581 (Laughter) 00:00:23.271 --> 00:00:25.329 It's just unbelievable, isn't it? 00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:28.631 I mean, I think about my origins. 00:00:28.631 --> 00:00:31.103 I'm a Sicilian girl from Brooklyn 00:00:31.983 --> 00:00:36.232 and was born into this Italian family with a lot of drama. 00:00:36.232 --> 00:00:37.381 A lot of drama. 00:00:37.381 --> 00:00:39.307 I mean, you know, it's like an opera. 00:00:39.917 --> 00:00:41.126 You take the garbage out, 00:00:41.126 --> 00:00:45.419 you've got to go, "Oh, taking the garbage out, oohhhhh!" 00:00:45.859 --> 00:00:48.906 And you've got to kiss everybody because you might not come back. 00:00:48.906 --> 00:00:50.095 Who knows? 00:00:50.095 --> 00:00:51.454 (Laughter) 00:00:53.844 --> 00:00:56.885 But the word "stress" didn't even exist then. 00:00:56.885 --> 00:00:58.852 Nobody talked about stress. 00:00:58.852 --> 00:01:00.107 There was a depression. 00:01:00.107 --> 00:01:01.702 There was World War II. 00:01:01.702 --> 00:01:05.287 My grandmother had three sons in the army, 00:01:05.287 --> 00:01:09.444 and she was always suffering because of that - Sicilian martyrdom. 00:01:09.444 --> 00:01:11.958 Every time I looked at her: "Oh I suffer!" 00:01:11.958 --> 00:01:13.108 (Laughter) 00:01:13.718 --> 00:01:15.449 But we laughed a lot. 00:01:15.489 --> 00:01:18.583 You know what else we did? We ate a lot. 00:01:18.583 --> 00:01:21.913 We ate, and when we were eating, we practiced to eat again. 00:01:21.933 --> 00:01:24.769 We talked about eating all the time. 00:01:24.769 --> 00:01:26.239 (Laughter) 00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:30.823 We had some fun amidst the angst that was going on. 00:01:30.823 --> 00:01:34.231 And people seemed to just roll with the punches. 00:01:34.231 --> 00:01:37.241 I mean, they accepted the reality, 00:01:37.241 --> 00:01:41.274 and they had a community of people that helped them. 00:01:41.274 --> 00:01:43.470 They were called neighbors. You remember them? 00:01:43.470 --> 00:01:44.975 (Laughter) 00:01:45.335 --> 00:01:48.776 Nobody comes to your house any more with a sausage or a meatball. 00:01:48.776 --> 00:01:50.179 (Laughter) 00:01:51.031 --> 00:01:53.870 Because, you know, what if your LDL is too high? 00:01:53.667 --> 00:01:54.854 (Laughter) 00:01:55.314 --> 00:01:57.746 Or something might go wrong, you know. 00:01:57.746 --> 00:01:59.445 And who are these people, anyway? 00:01:59.445 --> 00:02:01.638 You see them coming to the door, you "Aaaah!" 00:02:01.638 --> 00:02:02.677 (Laughter) 00:02:02.677 --> 00:02:06.234 "I don't want to see any people! I have my show to watch tonight. 00:02:06.234 --> 00:02:07.454 (Laughter) 00:02:07.454 --> 00:02:09.175 The one with neighbors in it. 00:02:09.175 --> 00:02:10.469 (Laughter) 00:02:14.521 --> 00:02:18.133 I don't ever remember my grandmother standing in front of the sink, going, 00:02:18.133 --> 00:02:21.013 "O Madonna mia! I'm so stressed! 00:02:22.783 --> 00:02:24.342 I can't take it no more. 00:02:25.182 --> 00:02:27.323 I got to go to my spin class. 00:02:27.323 --> 00:02:28.746 (Laughter) 00:02:29.511 --> 00:02:32.097 Maybe I forgot my kale smoothie this morning, 00:02:32.097 --> 00:02:33.564 (Laughter) 00:02:33.564 --> 00:02:35.669 and I don't know where my Fitbit is." 00:02:35.669 --> 00:02:37.019 (Laughter) 00:02:42.784 --> 00:02:45.123 We have gotten to a place 00:02:45.123 --> 00:02:48.801 where we don't know how to see humor in our lives, 00:02:48.801 --> 00:02:51.833 because we don't have those people stopping by - 00:02:51.833 --> 00:02:54.686 the characters that were once in my life 00:02:54.686 --> 00:02:57.386 that provided me with historical references 00:02:57.386 --> 00:02:59.520 that I could put in my books. 00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:03.045 We don't have those meals together like we often did, 00:03:03.045 --> 00:03:06.427 where we talked and laughed and shared stories. 00:03:06.427 --> 00:03:09.783 And if you acted up - huh, lots of luck! 00:03:09.783 --> 00:03:10.833 (Laughter) 00:03:10.833 --> 00:03:14.079 You got told, "What's wrong with you?" 00:03:14.649 --> 00:03:16.836 And I went to Catholic school. 00:03:17.136 --> 00:03:19.521 I had the Sisters of Perpetual Mood Disorder. 00:03:19.521 --> 00:03:21.082 (Laughter) 00:03:22.692 --> 00:03:26.457 Trust me, they didn't let you get away with anything. 00:03:28.507 --> 00:03:29.510 And, you know, 00:03:29.510 --> 00:03:33.267 that's all part of understanding how to humor your stress, isn't it? 00:03:33.327 --> 00:03:36.168 To have people around to guide you, 00:03:36.168 --> 00:03:37.589 to laugh with you, 00:03:37.589 --> 00:03:40.063 to make light of things here and there 00:03:40.063 --> 00:03:43.119 instead of all this drama we go around with now, don't we? 00:03:43.119 --> 00:03:44.985 Isn't there a lot of drama? 00:03:45.535 --> 00:03:48.551 Everybody's got to tell you what's happening. 00:03:48.551 --> 00:03:50.881 Facebook is full of stories: 00:03:50.881 --> 00:03:53.878 "Oooh! You should see what happened! 00:03:54.886 --> 00:03:56.337 I was in traffic!" 00:03:56.337 --> 00:03:57.494 (Laughter) 00:03:58.244 --> 00:04:01.981 "Oh, here's a picture of me going through the E-ZPass." 00:04:01.981 --> 00:04:03.269 (Laughter) 00:04:06.869 --> 00:04:08.558 This is pathetic, folks. 00:04:08.558 --> 00:04:11.030 Pathetic, isn't it? 00:04:11.650 --> 00:04:13.790 We don't have a life anymore. 00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:15.558 Because in our life, 00:04:15.558 --> 00:04:17.856 we have become human doings. 00:04:17.856 --> 00:04:19.898 We're no longer human beings. 00:04:19.898 --> 00:04:22.599 We have to tell everybody we meet what we're doing. 00:04:22.599 --> 00:04:24.595 That's why we're so stressed out. 00:04:24.733 --> 00:04:25.941 Everybody we meet: 00:04:25.941 --> 00:04:28.606 "You know, you know what I'm doing? 00:04:29.046 --> 00:04:30.518 Do you know how busy I am? 00:04:30.518 --> 00:04:32.994 I am so busy I don't know what to do!“ 00:04:32.994 --> 00:04:34.462 (Laughter) 00:04:34.462 --> 00:04:37.447 Well, maybe you should shut up. Maybe that would help. 00:04:37.447 --> 00:04:38.901 (Laughter) 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:41.358 Just shut up. 00:04:41.358 --> 00:04:42.737 (Laughter) 00:04:44.557 --> 00:04:46.485 But now the person you've told - 00:04:46.485 --> 00:04:48.464 hey, they have to ramp it up! 00:04:48.464 --> 00:04:49.714 (Laughter) 00:04:49.714 --> 00:04:51.254 They've got to win this contest, 00:04:51.254 --> 00:04:52.364 for God's sake! 00:04:52.364 --> 00:04:53.604 (Laughter) 00:04:53.604 --> 00:04:54.846 So they have to say, 00:04:54.846 --> 00:04:56.559 "You think you're busy? 00:04:56.559 --> 00:04:58.499 You should see how busy I am!" 00:04:58.499 --> 00:04:59.855 (Laughter) 00:05:00.269 --> 00:05:03.085 Now you have nowhere to go but your physical ailments. 00:05:03.085 --> 00:05:04.308 (Laughter) 00:05:04.738 --> 00:05:06.559 You have to share them: 00:05:07.138 --> 00:05:10.632 "Well, my back hurts, my front hurts, my side. 00:05:11.320 --> 00:05:13.753 And I don't go to the bathroom very much any more." 00:05:13.753 --> 00:05:15.057 (Laughter) 00:05:16.247 --> 00:05:19.255 And I have to tell you that the more stressed you are, 00:05:19.255 --> 00:05:21.317 the more you're going to need a laxative. 00:05:21.317 --> 00:05:22.565 (Laughter) 00:05:22.985 --> 00:05:24.582 We are one of the few countries - 00:05:24.582 --> 00:05:26.590 and I've been in many places in the world – 00:05:26.590 --> 00:05:28.040 that have so many laxatives. 00:05:28.040 --> 00:05:29.228 (Laughter) 00:05:29.228 --> 00:05:31.012 Why do you think that is? 00:05:31.784 --> 00:05:33.959 Look at people's faces, and you'll find out. 00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:35.311 (Laughter) 00:05:37.019 --> 00:05:39.846 People walk around like this all day long, 00:05:40.566 --> 00:05:42.894 squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. 00:05:42.894 --> 00:05:44.359 (Laughter) 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:50.962 By the time they go to bed at night, they look like dead parrots. 00:05:50.962 --> 00:05:52.273 (Laughter) 00:05:57.163 --> 00:05:59.784 We have problems with insomnia. 00:05:59.784 --> 00:06:03.309 More people are medicated now, taking sleeping medications. 00:06:03.309 --> 00:06:07.148 We have more people on antidepressants than any other place in the world. 00:06:07.148 --> 00:06:09.443 We even have children on antidepressants 00:06:09.443 --> 00:06:11.424 because we can't leave them alone either. 00:06:11.424 --> 00:06:12.639 (Laughter) 00:06:12.639 --> 00:06:14.690 God forbid they should go out and play. 00:06:14.690 --> 00:06:17.527 Go out and play? What? Are you serious? 00:06:17.527 --> 00:06:20.485 I'm going to make an app that has a squirrel on it 00:06:20.485 --> 00:06:22.361 so the kids can see that. 00:06:22.361 --> 00:06:23.645 (Laughter) 00:06:25.205 --> 00:06:26.800 I'll probably make a fortune. 00:06:26.800 --> 00:06:28.285 (Laughter) 00:06:28.653 --> 00:06:30.999 You can't even ride your bike up and down anymore. 00:06:30.999 --> 00:06:33.217 You've got to wear a NASA astronaut suit. 00:06:33.217 --> 00:06:34.736 (Laughter) 00:06:36.769 --> 00:06:38.689 You've got to wash yourself with Purell. 00:06:38.689 --> 00:06:40.704 You've got to have a healthy snack. 00:06:40.954 --> 00:06:42.897 No wonder the kids are stressed. 00:06:43.147 --> 00:06:44.988 I used to drink out of the hose. 00:06:44.988 --> 00:06:46.218 (Laughter) 00:06:46.818 --> 00:06:48.700 And I'm still alive. 00:06:48.700 --> 00:06:49.906 (Laughter) 00:06:49.906 --> 00:06:51.710 (Cheers) (Applause) 00:06:57.210 --> 00:07:00.573 I even fell off my bike, lots of times. 00:07:00.573 --> 00:07:02.048 (Laughter) 00:07:02.048 --> 00:07:03.467 It's kind of sad, isn't it? 00:07:03.467 --> 00:07:06.019 Kids don't know how to be kids anymore, 00:07:06.019 --> 00:07:09.160 human beings don't know how to be human beings anymore, 00:07:09.160 --> 00:07:11.419 because we're all stressed. 00:07:12.205 --> 00:07:14.676 It's become a metaphor for existence, hasn't it? 00:07:15.321 --> 00:07:18.692 So I just want to start by taking you on a journey - 00:07:18.692 --> 00:07:20.177 perhaps to de-stress - 00:07:20.177 --> 00:07:22.040 with a simple little survey. 00:07:22.040 --> 00:07:25.623 How many of you've been stressed the past week? Raise your hand. 00:07:26.214 --> 00:07:28.394 Past several weeks? 00:07:29.619 --> 00:07:31.442 Past month? 00:07:32.357 --> 00:07:33.800 Several months? 00:07:34.414 --> 00:07:35.835 Several years? 00:07:35.835 --> 00:07:37.316 (Laughter) 00:07:37.316 --> 00:07:38.701 Lifetime? 00:07:38.701 --> 00:07:40.118 (Laughter) 00:07:41.631 --> 00:07:43.860 Now, when we're stressed, what do we do? 00:07:43.860 --> 00:07:45.810 We like to tell people. 00:07:45.910 --> 00:07:47.350 And we form groups, 00:07:48.453 --> 00:07:50.185 global whining groups. 00:07:50.185 --> 00:07:51.199 (Laughter) 00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:54.034 We get together in our offices, in our home - wherever. 00:07:54.034 --> 00:07:57.352 Some people, before they leave the house, will tell their family: 00:07:57.352 --> 00:07:59.505 "I'm going to be tired when I get back." 00:07:59.505 --> 00:08:00.975 (Laughter) 00:08:02.945 --> 00:08:05.074 This is a form of pre-suffering. 00:08:05.074 --> 00:08:06.210 (Laughter) 00:08:07.654 --> 00:08:09.795 You're not tired yet, but you will be. 00:08:09.795 --> 00:08:11.215 (Laughter) 00:08:11.215 --> 00:08:14.835 Now, my suggestion is, when you're stressed like this, 00:08:14.835 --> 00:08:17.072 give yourself a standing ovation. 00:08:17.382 --> 00:08:18.737 Ask for one. 00:08:18.737 --> 00:08:21.875 Maybe when you go in your office, you walk in and you say, 00:08:21.875 --> 00:08:23.220 "I came in. 00:08:23.220 --> 00:08:24.624 (Laughter) 00:08:24.624 --> 00:08:26.332 I'd like a standing ovation." 00:08:26.332 --> 00:08:27.602 (Laughter) 00:08:30.066 --> 00:08:31.316 Why not?! 00:08:32.300 --> 00:08:33.650 When you go home tonight, 00:08:33.650 --> 00:08:36.438 some of you have already made yourself crazy 00:08:36.438 --> 00:08:39.777 by thinking about what went on while you weren't there. 00:08:39.777 --> 00:08:41.167 (Laughter) 00:08:42.017 --> 00:08:45.017 What's the difference? Something went on. 00:08:45.937 --> 00:08:49.650 When you walk in the door tonight, go in and say, "I'm back. 00:08:50.190 --> 00:08:52.216 I could have gone someplace else. 00:08:52.216 --> 00:08:53.417 (Laughter) 00:08:54.522 --> 00:08:56.783 You're damn lucky I came home. 00:08:56.783 --> 00:08:58.023 (Laughter) 00:08:58.758 --> 00:09:01.057 I'd like a standing ovation." 00:09:01.207 --> 00:09:02.434 (Laughter) 00:09:03.737 --> 00:09:07.259 So with that in mind, I want every one of you to stand up 00:09:07.259 --> 00:09:10.137 and give yourselves a standing ovation right now. 00:09:10.137 --> 00:09:12.212 (Applause) (Cheering) 00:09:15.382 --> 00:09:17.157 Woo hoo hoo hoo! 00:09:19.712 --> 00:09:21.172 Yahoo! 00:09:26.697 --> 00:09:28.279 That was awesome. 00:09:29.399 --> 00:09:32.330 Now, that's one step in the right direction. 00:09:33.110 --> 00:09:34.879 The second thing you have to do 00:09:34.879 --> 00:09:40.816 is realize we have 60,000 thoughts that go through our brains every day, 00:09:40.816 --> 00:09:43.342 most of which are there to disturb you. 00:09:44.651 --> 00:09:49.256 A lot of us are always thinking about the worst possible scenario, aren't we? 00:09:49.256 --> 00:09:51.348 "Oh my God, what's going to happen?" 00:09:51.348 --> 00:09:55.233 And, of course, the fear messages that come across with the media today 00:09:55.233 --> 00:09:57.147 just enhance that, don't they? 00:09:57.147 --> 00:10:00.852 A lot of you are crazy enough to put the news on in the morning. 00:10:00.852 --> 00:10:02.148 (Laughter) 00:10:03.270 --> 00:10:05.593 And we have to know what the weather is. 00:10:05.593 --> 00:10:06.691 When I was growing up, 00:10:06.691 --> 00:10:09.182 you know how you found out what the weather was like? 00:10:09.182 --> 00:10:10.955 You looked out of the window. 00:10:10.955 --> 00:10:12.717 You said, "Oh, it's raining." 00:10:13.157 --> 00:10:14.548 Not now. You put it on. 00:10:14.548 --> 00:10:16.257 You have to know it's raining, 00:10:16.257 --> 00:10:18.263 what the dew point is, 00:10:18.263 --> 00:10:20.411 and if there's some kind of thing - 00:10:20.411 --> 00:10:21.459 a lot of rain - 00:10:21.459 --> 00:10:26.100 you have to watch some idiot anchorperson by the ocean with an umbrella. 00:10:26.220 --> 00:10:27.551 (Laughter) 00:10:32.261 --> 00:10:35.400 Then, if it's nice here, they tell you where it's awful. 00:10:35.552 --> 00:10:36.916 (Laughter) 00:10:38.338 --> 00:10:44.134 So you have to start your day always catastrophizing and awfulizing. 00:10:44.134 --> 00:10:48.937 That's a term that was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, 00:10:48.937 --> 00:10:51.440 the author of rational emotive therapy. 00:10:51.918 --> 00:10:56.331 And many of us are catastrophizing and awfulizing every day, aren't we? 00:10:56.614 --> 00:10:58.463 We get in our car, 00:10:58.463 --> 00:11:02.163 and we just can't take the fact that there's traffic. 00:11:02.863 --> 00:11:05.430 Every time I went for a ride with one of my husbands, 00:11:05.430 --> 00:11:06.557 and I've had two - 00:11:06.557 --> 00:11:07.818 (Laughter) 00:11:08.118 --> 00:11:10.129 I call them my "was-bands" - 00:11:10.129 --> 00:11:11.629 (Laughter) 00:11:14.964 --> 00:11:16.736 the first thing they'd say is 00:11:16.736 --> 00:11:18.689 "Where did all these cars come from?" 00:11:18.689 --> 00:11:19.941 (Laughter) 00:11:19.941 --> 00:11:21.041 It's a road. 00:11:21.041 --> 00:11:22.352 (Laughter) 00:11:26.242 --> 00:11:27.451 I said, "Let's go home. 00:11:27.451 --> 00:11:28.680 Let's go in the driveway. 00:11:28.680 --> 00:11:30.783 We'll just go up and down. We won't leave. 00:11:30.783 --> 00:11:32.147 (Laughter) 00:11:37.107 --> 00:11:41.678 See, the only way to de-stress and use humor 00:11:41.678 --> 00:11:43.594 is to move away from yourself, 00:11:43.594 --> 00:11:45.511 to become the witness to your behavior. 00:11:45.511 --> 00:11:47.915 That's a very Buddhist kind of mindset. 00:11:47.915 --> 00:11:50.151 Become the witness to your own behavior. 00:11:50.151 --> 00:11:53.129 Think about what you're thinking about. 00:11:53.129 --> 00:11:54.603 Is it realistic? 00:11:54.603 --> 00:11:58.995 You're in a car, asking yourself where the cars came from. 00:11:58.995 --> 00:12:00.619 It's an idiotic question. 00:12:00.619 --> 00:12:01.874 (Laughter) 00:12:01.874 --> 00:12:03.473 You might want to ask yourself, 00:12:03.473 --> 00:12:05.442 "Gee, I wonder why I said that? 00:12:05.442 --> 00:12:06.942 (Laughter) 00:12:06.942 --> 00:12:09.042 This doesn't make any sense." 00:12:09.791 --> 00:12:13.738 And then we try to ramp it up and make it as bad as possible, 00:12:13.738 --> 00:12:15.864 and we torture the person next to us. 00:12:16.394 --> 00:12:17.780 "Did you see all the cars?" 00:12:17.780 --> 00:12:19.031 (Laughter) 00:12:20.181 --> 00:12:21.952 "No, I'm an idiot. I didn't notice." 00:12:21.952 --> 00:12:23.112 (Laughter) 00:12:25.877 --> 00:12:28.222 How many of you do this when you go food shopping? 00:12:28.222 --> 00:12:31.350 I've stood in line with people who are harrumphing 00:12:31.350 --> 00:12:33.635 and pawing the earth like bison 00:12:33.635 --> 00:12:35.084 (Laughter) 00:12:37.078 --> 00:12:38.862 and going insane, 00:12:39.452 --> 00:12:41.764 asking stupid questions again. 00:12:41.764 --> 00:12:45.021 Like, "Oh! Oh! Look at all these people in the store! 00:12:45.021 --> 00:12:46.282 (Laughter) 00:12:46.282 --> 00:12:48.194 I wonder why they're here now?" 00:12:48.194 --> 00:12:49.422 (Laughter) 00:12:51.554 --> 00:12:53.913 See the Seinfeld's part in this. 00:12:53.913 --> 00:12:56.307 Ask yourself, "Why am I saying this?" 00:12:56.307 --> 00:12:58.982 People go shopping at odd hours. 00:12:58.982 --> 00:13:00.143 There is no plot. 00:13:00.143 --> 00:13:02.710 They're not here to take revenge on me. 00:13:02.710 --> 00:13:04.121 (Laughter) 00:13:07.541 --> 00:13:11.631 Can you imagine what the world would be like if we lightened up? 00:13:12.063 --> 00:13:13.878 What if we lightened up? 00:13:13.878 --> 00:13:15.619 What if every one of you 00:13:15.619 --> 00:13:19.930 realized that you were the joke "koo, koo, kajoo"? 00:13:19.930 --> 00:13:21.338 (Laughter) 00:13:23.267 --> 00:13:26.385 Imagine what fun we could have with people that we met 00:13:26.394 --> 00:13:31.447 if we started listening to our dialogue instead of taking it so seriously. 00:13:31.507 --> 00:13:34.982 Because if you think the worst and get the worst, you suffer twice. 00:13:35.870 --> 00:13:39.104 If you think the best and get the worst, you only suffer once. 00:13:39.139 --> 00:13:40.463 (Laughter) 00:13:40.463 --> 00:13:43.689 But I think a lot of us like to suffer. What do you think? 00:13:44.070 --> 00:13:46.225 Yes! And let's face it - 00:13:46.856 --> 00:13:50.269 it isn't just something that we do on purpose. 00:13:50.269 --> 00:13:54.278 Some of us have overreactive parts of our brain. 00:13:55.173 --> 00:13:56.627 And they've noticed 00:13:56.627 --> 00:14:00.861 that when Buddhist monks have meditated since they were children, 00:14:00.861 --> 00:14:04.646 that part of their brain is not as reactive. 00:14:04.974 --> 00:14:07.952 And that's sort of innate to a lot of us, isn't it? 00:14:07.962 --> 00:14:11.089 Because we're born with that predisposition. 00:14:11.578 --> 00:14:16.669 People in my family, all the women, have had panic attacks, including myself. 00:14:17.226 --> 00:14:18.988 The wonder of my journey 00:14:18.988 --> 00:14:22.451 is that I have been able to teach other people 00:14:22.451 --> 00:14:24.712 the things that I needed to learn. 00:14:26.212 --> 00:14:28.625 And I continue to try to do that 00:14:28.625 --> 00:14:30.960 because as you get older - 00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:34.268 and I was 77 a couple of months ago ... 00:14:34.298 --> 00:14:35.485 (Applause) 00:14:37.731 --> 00:14:39.452 Thank you. I'm still alive! 00:14:39.452 --> 00:14:40.638 Ha ha ha ha! 00:14:40.638 --> 00:14:41.958 (Laughter) 00:14:43.630 --> 00:14:45.620 That's what people come up to me and say: 00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:47.061 "Oh, you're still doing this?" 00:14:47.061 --> 00:14:49.006 I said, "Yeah, I'm not dead yet, OK?" 00:14:49.006 --> 00:14:50.675 (Laughter) 00:14:50.981 --> 00:14:56.746 One of my greatest visions is to see the world lighten up. 00:14:56.746 --> 00:15:00.377 Because if each and every one of us had a light heart, 00:15:00.377 --> 00:15:02.589 we could share it with others, couldn't we? 00:15:02.622 --> 00:15:05.365 And our energy in this world would change. 00:15:05.605 --> 00:15:08.570 So many times when we engage with each other, 00:15:08.570 --> 00:15:13.725 it's out of - I don't know - necessity to get out of the place we're in. 00:15:14.252 --> 00:15:16.413 We don't even know where we are half the time, 00:15:16.413 --> 00:15:18.920 because we're always thinking where we're going next. 00:15:18.920 --> 00:15:20.698 We don't even enjoy the moments, 00:15:20.698 --> 00:15:23.413 because we have to take selfies of the moments we're in 00:15:23.413 --> 00:15:24.462 (Laughter) 00:15:24.462 --> 00:15:26.820 so we can watch the moment later. 00:15:26.820 --> 00:15:28.210 (Laughter) 00:15:29.265 --> 00:15:34.063 There are so many ways that we can get through this life and laugh, 00:15:34.740 --> 00:15:37.056 and one of them is to just laugh on purpose. 00:15:37.056 --> 00:15:38.313 Just crack yourself up! 00:15:38.313 --> 00:15:39.654 (Laughter) 00:15:39.654 --> 00:15:41.994 Have a staff-laugh at work! 00:15:43.154 --> 00:15:45.085 Sit with your friends and laugh! 00:15:45.085 --> 00:15:47.660 I mean, some people haven't had a good laugh for years, 00:15:47.660 --> 00:15:50.490 because they're riding with a committee in their head - 00:15:50.742 --> 00:15:51.905 people who told them, 00:15:51.905 --> 00:15:54.440 "Wipe that stupid grin off your face! 00:15:55.240 --> 00:15:57.065 You think this is funny? 00:15:57.065 --> 00:15:58.357 (Laughter) 00:15:58.357 --> 00:16:02.350 When are you going to control yourself so you can be like me - you see how I am? 00:16:02.350 --> 00:16:03.744 (Laughter) 00:16:05.574 --> 00:16:07.600 Because you got to grow up and be an adult 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:09.508 and squeeze a lot, squeeze." 00:16:09.508 --> 00:16:10.893 (Laughter) 00:16:14.883 --> 00:16:16.511 So consider another option, 00:16:16.511 --> 00:16:17.510 Smile. 00:16:17.510 --> 00:16:20.908 Smile often. Smile at your fellow human. 00:16:20.908 --> 00:16:23.278 You know, when you're going through the counter 00:16:23.278 --> 00:16:25.075 and you're paying for your groceries: 00:16:25.075 --> 00:16:26.403 "Hey, hey - check me out!" 00:16:26.403 --> 00:16:27.520 (Laughter) 00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:32.507 Become the fun you're seeking! 00:16:32.507 --> 00:16:34.338 So many of us are waiting for the fun. 00:16:34.338 --> 00:16:35.650 You are the fun. 00:16:36.220 --> 00:16:42.182 And smiling at one another creates a sense of lightness around you, doesn't it? 00:16:42.512 --> 00:16:43.714 I talk to everybody. 00:16:43.714 --> 00:16:46.087 I don't care whether they want to hear me or not. 00:16:46.087 --> 00:16:47.497 (Laughter) 00:16:47.497 --> 00:16:52.928 I just know that I want to enjoy whatever life I have left on this planet. 00:16:53.408 --> 00:16:56.080 So, another couple of things I want to share with you 00:16:56.080 --> 00:16:57.993 before my time is up - 00:16:57.993 --> 00:16:59.746 and it's not up totally yet. 00:17:00.476 --> 00:17:02.878 Buy yourself a little red nose. 00:17:03.998 --> 00:17:05.920 Try complaining with this nose on. 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:07.130 (Laughter) 00:17:09.770 --> 00:17:11.370 Walk into a store. 00:17:11.370 --> 00:17:12.885 (Laughter) 00:17:12.885 --> 00:17:15.340 Say "I don't see anybody here. Where are they?" 00:17:15.400 --> 00:17:16.700 (Laughter) 00:17:22.766 --> 00:17:25.912 If you're in a relationship, and your partner wants to get amorous, 00:17:25.912 --> 00:17:27.330 and you're not in the mood, 00:17:27.330 --> 00:17:28.433 (Laughter) 00:17:28.483 --> 00:17:29.713 put your nose on. 00:17:29.713 --> 00:17:30.955 (Laughter) 00:17:31.443 --> 00:17:33.586 Say "Why don't you start without me? 00:17:33.586 --> 00:17:34.650 (Laughter) 00:17:36.530 --> 00:17:38.730 When it sounds good, I'll be in." 00:17:38.770 --> 00:17:39.922 (Laughter) 00:17:40.987 --> 00:17:42.222 (Audience member) Wooh! 00:17:42.222 --> 00:17:43.561 Ha ha ha ha! 00:17:44.374 --> 00:17:47.915 Hey, who knows, 50 shades of grey - 50 shades of noses, I don't know. 00:17:47.935 --> 00:17:49.237 (Laughter) 00:17:51.187 --> 00:17:55.245 If you like to pre-suffer, and you have a psychic mentality, put this on. 00:17:55.255 --> 00:17:58.459 Get yourself a little costume like this and put it on. 00:17:59.019 --> 00:18:00.764 Start a psychic booth. 00:18:00.764 --> 00:18:02.104 (Laughter) 00:18:02.104 --> 00:18:04.829 Go into work and say: "It's going to be a bad day." 00:18:04.829 --> 00:18:05.990 (Laughter) 00:18:08.895 --> 00:18:11.256 "Next week it's going to get worse." 00:18:11.256 --> 00:18:12.536 (Laughter) 00:18:12.823 --> 00:18:16.220 If someone says it's a beautiful day - "It's going to rain Friday." 00:18:16.250 --> 00:18:17.250 (Laughter) 00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:19.900 How many people do you know like this? 00:18:19.903 --> 00:18:22.271 It's like why suffer in advance? 00:18:22.351 --> 00:18:23.761 (Laughter) 00:18:23.761 --> 00:18:26.812 You know, we don't have that much time, as I said before. 00:18:26.812 --> 00:18:29.184 We're all going to go to another place. 00:18:29.494 --> 00:18:30.711 Enjoy it. 00:18:30.711 --> 00:18:33.170 You don't have to be a perfectionist at everything. 00:18:33.170 --> 00:18:34.981 You don't have to be a martyr. 00:18:34.981 --> 00:18:37.235 You don't have to be a control freak. 00:18:37.235 --> 00:18:38.529 Tamp it down. 00:18:39.059 --> 00:18:41.253 I've never walked through a cemetery that said, 00:18:41.253 --> 00:18:43.609 "Did everything. Died anyway." 00:18:43.609 --> 00:18:44.845 (Laughter) 00:18:49.525 --> 00:18:52.158 And if nothing that I've said works - 00:18:52.158 --> 00:18:54.762 I love this, this is a great metaphor. 00:18:54.762 --> 00:18:56.352 You want to drive yourself crazy? 00:18:56.352 --> 00:18:57.713 Get a whip. 00:18:58.216 --> 00:19:00.075 Use it when you wake up in the morning. 00:19:00.075 --> 00:19:02.163 Start right in: "Oh, it's raining. 00:19:02.193 --> 00:19:03.483 (Laughter) 00:19:05.252 --> 00:19:07.024 Oh, I'm so bloated. 00:19:07.032 --> 00:19:08.352 (Laughter) 00:19:08.740 --> 00:19:10.610 Oh, I'm still married to you?" 00:19:10.610 --> 00:19:11.973 (Laughter) 00:19:14.483 --> 00:19:15.794 Take it to work. 00:19:15.794 --> 00:19:18.983 There are people there that you know were brought in to disturb you. 00:19:18.983 --> 00:19:21.730 Go right up to them, say "I was fine until I saw you." 00:19:21.730 --> 00:19:23.185 (Laughter) 00:19:26.925 --> 00:19:29.168 Now you've given up your power, 00:19:29.775 --> 00:19:31.949 and you've lost your sense of humor. 00:19:33.332 --> 00:19:37.080 So I hope you will go out into the world, especially tonight, 00:19:37.080 --> 00:19:39.984 because some people will start right in as soon as they leave: 00:19:39.984 --> 00:19:41.539 "Oh, it's dark. 00:19:41.539 --> 00:19:42.825 (Laughter) 00:19:44.076 --> 00:19:45.490 Oh my God! It got dark! 00:19:45.490 --> 00:19:46.490 (Laughter) 00:19:46.490 --> 00:19:47.495 Can you believe it?" 00:19:47.495 --> 00:19:50.045 No, I didn't believe it until you told me. Now I know. 00:19:50.045 --> 00:19:51.309 (Laughter) 00:19:53.480 --> 00:19:55.902 "And where's the car? Can we find it?" 00:19:56.259 --> 00:19:58.878 "No, we're going to sleep here on the sidewalk tonight." 00:19:58.878 --> 00:19:59.894 (Laughter) 00:19:59.894 --> 00:20:01.133 Ha ha ha ha! 00:20:01.995 --> 00:20:04.622 You've got to see the funny. You really do. 00:20:04.622 --> 00:20:07.368 It's the best revenge, folks. 00:20:08.043 --> 00:20:09.642 And it's a wonderful connection 00:20:09.642 --> 00:20:11.942 because when you can laugh at yourself, 00:20:11.942 --> 00:20:13.945 it shows your humility. 00:20:13.945 --> 00:20:17.487 And it really breeds connection to all of us. 00:20:17.497 --> 00:20:19.998 Because we're all vulnerable, aren't we? 00:20:19.998 --> 00:20:21.600 We're all vulnerable. 00:20:21.600 --> 00:20:23.593 So, thank you so very much. 00:20:23.593 --> 00:20:26.525 I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your life. 00:20:26.525 --> 00:20:27.915 Thank you. Thank you. 00:20:27.915 --> 00:20:28.933 (Applause) (Cheering) 00:20:28.933 --> 00:20:29.993 Thank you. 00:20:29.993 --> 00:20:31.213 (Applause)