[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.49,0:00:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I've been teaching\Nstress management
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.70,0:00:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a good 30 years,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.56,0:00:19.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I have to tell you:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.29,0:00:21.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people are going insane.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.39,0:00:22.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.27,0:00:25.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just unbelievable, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.04,0:00:28.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, I think about my origins.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.63,0:00:31.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a Sicilian girl from Brooklyn
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.98,0:00:36.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was born into this Italian family\Nwith a lot of drama.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.23,0:00:37.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of drama.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.38,0:00:39.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, you know, it's like an opera.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.92,0:00:41.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You take the garbage out,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.13,0:00:45.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you've got to go, "Oh,\Ntaking the garbage out, oohhhhh!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.86,0:00:48.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you've got to kiss everybody\Nbecause you might not come back.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.91,0:00:50.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who knows?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.10,0:00:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.84,0:00:56.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the word "stress"\Ndidn't even exist then.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.88,0:00:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody talked about stress.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.85,0:01:00.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a depression.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.11,0:01:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was World War II.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.70,0:01:05.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My grandmother had three sons in the army,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.29,0:01:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she was always suffering\Nbecause of that - Sicilian martyrdom.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.44,0:01:11.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time I looked at her: "Oh I suffer!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.96,0:01:13.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.72,0:01:15.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But we laughed a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.49,0:01:18.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what else we did?\NWe ate a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.58,0:01:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We ate, and when we were eating,\Nwe practiced to eat again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.93,0:01:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We talked about eating all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.77,0:01:26.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.24,0:01:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We had some fun amidst the angst\Nthat was going on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.82,0:01:34.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people seemed\Nto just roll with the punches.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.23,0:01:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, they accepted the reality,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.24,0:01:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they had a community of people\Nthat helped them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.27,0:01:43.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were called neighbors.\NYou remember them?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.47,0:01:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.34,0:01:48.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nobody comes to your house any more\Nwith a sausage or a meatball.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.78,0:01:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.03,0:01:53.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, you know,\Nwhat if your LDL is too high?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.67,0:01:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.31,0:01:57.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or something might go wrong, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.75,0:01:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And who are these people, anyway?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.44,0:02:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see them coming\Nto the door, you "Aaaah!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.64,0:02:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.68,0:02:06.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't want to see any people!\NI have my show to watch tonight.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.23,0:02:07.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.45,0:02:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The one with neighbors in it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.18,0:02:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.52,0:02:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't ever remember my grandmother\Nstanding in front of the sink, going,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.13,0:02:21.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"O Madonna mia! I'm so stressed!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.78,0:02:24.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't take it no more.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.18,0:02:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got to go to my spin class.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.32,0:02:28.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.51,0:02:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I forgot\Nmy kale smoothie this morning,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.10,0:02:33.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.56,0:02:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't know where my Fitbit is."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.67,0:02:37.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.78,0:02:45.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have gotten to a place
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.12,0:02:48.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we don't know\Nhow to see humor in our lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.80,0:02:51.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we don't have\Nthose people stopping by -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.83,0:02:54.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the characters that were once in my life
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.69,0:02:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that provided me\Nwith historical references
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.39,0:02:59.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I could put in my books.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.52,0:03:03.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't have those meals together\Nlike we often did,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.04,0:03:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where we talked and laughed\Nand shared stories.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.43,0:03:09.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you acted up - huh, lots of luck!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.78,0:03:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.83,0:03:14.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You got told, "What's wrong with you?"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.65,0:03:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I went to Catholic school.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.14,0:03:19.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had the Sisters\Nof Perpetual Mood Disorder.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.52,0:03:21.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.69,0:03:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, they didn't let you\Nget away with anything.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.51,0:03:29.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.51,0:03:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's all part of understanding\Nhow to humor your stress, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.33,0:03:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To have people around to guide you,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.17,0:03:37.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to laugh with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.59,0:03:40.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make light of things here and there
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.06,0:03:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of all this drama\Nwe go around with now, don't we?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.12,0:03:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't there a lot of drama?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.54,0:03:48.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody's got to tell you\Nwhat's happening.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.55,0:03:50.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Facebook is full of stories:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.88,0:03:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oooh! You should see what happened!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.89,0:03:56.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was in traffic!"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.34,0:03:57.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.24,0:04:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, here's a picture of me \Ngoing through the E-ZPass."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.98,0:04:03.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.87,0:04:08.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is pathetic, folks.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.56,0:04:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pathetic, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.65,0:04:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't have a life anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.34,0:04:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because in our life,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.56,0:04:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have become human doings.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.86,0:04:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're no longer human beings.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.90,0:04:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to tell everybody we meet\Nwhat we're doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.60,0:04:24.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why we're so stressed out.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.73,0:04:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody we meet:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.94,0:04:28.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know, you know what I'm doing?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.05,0:04:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know how busy I am?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.52,0:04:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am so busy I don't know what to do!“
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.99,0:04:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.46,0:04:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, maybe you should shut up.\NMaybe that would help.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.45,0:04:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.16,0:04:41.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just shut up.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.36,0:04:42.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.56,0:04:46.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But now the person you've told -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.48,0:04:48.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hey, they have to ramp it up!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.46,0:04:49.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.71,0:04:51.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They've got to win this contest,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.25,0:04:52.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for God's sake!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.36,0:04:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.60,0:04:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So they have to say,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.85,0:04:56.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You think you're busy?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.56,0:04:58.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You should see how busy I am!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.50,0:04:59.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.27,0:05:03.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you have nowhere to go\Nbut your physical ailments.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.08,0:05:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.74,0:05:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to share them:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.14,0:05:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, my back hurts,\Nmy front hurts, my side.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.32,0:05:13.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I don't go to the bathroom\Nvery much any more."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.75,0:05:15.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.25,0:05:19.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I have to tell you\Nthat the more stressed you are,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.26,0:05:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the more you're going to need a laxative.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.32,0:05:22.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.98,0:05:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are one of the few countries -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.58,0:05:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've been in many places\Nin the world –
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.59,0:05:28.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that have so many laxatives.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.04,0:05:29.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.23,0:05:31.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do you think that is?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.78,0:05:33.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at people's faces,\Nand you'll find out.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.96,0:05:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.02,0:05:39.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People walk around like this all day long,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.57,0:05:42.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,squeezing and squeezing and squeezing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.89,0:05:44.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.76,0:05:50.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the time they go to bed at night,\Nthey look like dead parrots.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.96,0:05:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.16,0:05:59.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have problems with insomnia.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.78,0:06:03.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,More people are medicated now,\Ntaking sleeping medications.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.31,0:06:07.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have more people on antidepressants\Nthan any other place in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.15,0:06:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We even have children on antidepressants
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.44,0:06:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we can't leave them alone either.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.42,0:06:12.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.64,0:06:14.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God forbid they should go out and play.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.69,0:06:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go out and play? What? Are you serious?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.53,0:06:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to make an app\Nthat has a squirrel on it
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.48,0:06:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so the kids can see that.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.36,0:06:23.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.20,0:06:26.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll probably make a fortune.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.80,0:06:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.65,0:06:30.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't even ride your bike\Nup and down anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.100,0:06:33.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got to wear a NASA astronaut suit.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.22,0:06:34.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.77,0:06:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got to wash yourself with Purell.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.69,0:06:40.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got to have a healthy snack.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.95,0:06:42.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No wonder the kids are stressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.15,0:06:44.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used to drink out of the hose.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.99,0:06:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.82,0:06:48.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm still alive.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.70,0:06:49.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.91,0:06:51.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers) (Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.21,0:07:00.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I even fell off my bike, lots of times.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.57,0:07:02.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.05,0:07:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's kind of sad, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.47,0:07:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kids don't know how to be kids anymore,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.02,0:07:09.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,human beings don't know\Nhow to be human beings anymore,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.16,0:07:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we're all stressed.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.20,0:07:14.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's become a metaphor\Nfor existence, hasn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.32,0:07:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I just want to start\Nby taking you on a journey -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.69,0:07:20.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perhaps to de-stress -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.18,0:07:22.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a simple little survey.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.04,0:07:25.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you've been stressed\Nthe past week? Raise your hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.21,0:07:28.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Past several weeks?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.62,0:07:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Past month?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.36,0:07:33.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Several months?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.41,0:07:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Several years?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.84,0:07:37.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.32,0:07:38.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lifetime?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.70,0:07:40.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.63,0:07:43.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, when we're stressed, what do we do?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.86,0:07:45.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We like to tell people.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.91,0:07:47.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we form groups,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.45,0:07:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,global whining groups.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.18,0:07:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.20,0:07:54.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We get together in our offices,\Nin our home - wherever.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.03,0:07:57.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some people, before they leave the house,\Nwill tell their family:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.35,0:07:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm going to be tired when I get back."
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.50,0:08:00.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.94,0:08:05.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a form of pre-suffering.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.07,0:08:06.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.65,0:08:09.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're not tired yet, but you will be.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.80,0:08:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.22,0:08:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, my suggestion is,\Nwhen you're stressed like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.84,0:08:17.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,give yourself a standing ovation.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.38,0:08:18.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask for one.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.74,0:08:21.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe when you go in your office,\Nyou walk in and you say,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.88,0:08:23.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I came in.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.22,0:08:24.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.62,0:08:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like a standing ovation."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.33,0:08:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.07,0:08:31.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why not?!
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.30,0:08:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you go home tonight,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.65,0:08:36.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of you have already\Nmade yourself crazy
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.44,0:08:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by thinking about what went on\Nwhile you weren't there.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.78,0:08:41.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.02,0:08:45.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's the difference?\NSomething went on.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.94,0:08:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you walk in the door tonight,\Ngo in and say, "I'm back.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.19,0:08:52.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could have gone someplace else.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.22,0:08:53.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.52,0:08:56.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're damn lucky I came home.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.78,0:08:58.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.76,0:09:01.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like a standing ovation."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.21,0:09:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.74,0:09:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So with that in mind,\NI want every one of you to stand up
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.26,0:09:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and give yourselves\Na standing ovation right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.14,0:09:12.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.38,0:09:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Woo hoo hoo hoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.71,0:09:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yahoo!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.70,0:09:28.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was awesome.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.40,0:09:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, that's one step\Nin the right direction.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.11,0:09:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second thing you have to do
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.88,0:09:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is realize we have 60,000 thoughts\Nthat go through our brains every day,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.82,0:09:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,most of which are there to disturb you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.65,0:09:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of us are always thinking about\Nthe worst possible scenario, aren't we?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.26,0:09:51.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh my God, what's going to happen?"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.35,0:09:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, of course, the fear messages\Nthat come across with the media today
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.23,0:09:57.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just enhance that, don't they?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.15,0:10:00.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A lot of you are crazy enough\Nto put the news on in the morning.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.85,0:10:02.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.27,0:10:05.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we have to know what the weather is.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.59,0:10:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was growing up,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.69,0:10:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know how you found out\Nwhat the weather was like?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.18,0:10:10.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You looked out of the window.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.96,0:10:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You said, "Oh, it's raining."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.16,0:10:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not now. You put it on.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.55,0:10:16.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have to know it's raining,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.26,0:10:18.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what the dew point is,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.26,0:10:20.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if there's some kind of thing -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.41,0:10:21.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a lot of rain -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.46,0:10:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to watch some idiot anchorperson\Nby the ocean with an umbrella.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.22,0:10:27.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.26,0:10:35.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then, if it's nice here,\Nthey tell you where it's awful.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.55,0:10:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.34,0:10:44.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you have to start your day\Nalways catastrophizing and awfulizing.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.13,0:10:48.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a term that was developed\Nby Dr. Albert Ellis,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.94,0:10:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the author of rational emotive therapy.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.92,0:10:56.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And many of us are catastrophizing\Nand awfulizing every day, aren't we?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.61,0:10:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We get in our car,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.46,0:11:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we just can't take the fact\Nthat there's traffic.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.86,0:11:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time I went for a ride\Nwith one of my husbands,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.43,0:11:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've had two -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.56,0:11:07.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.12,0:11:10.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I call them my "was-bands" -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.13,0:11:11.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.96,0:11:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the first thing they'd say is
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.74,0:11:18.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Where did all these cars come from?"
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.69,0:11:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.94,0:11:21.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a road.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.04,0:11:22.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.24,0:11:27.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Let's go home.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.45,0:11:28.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's go in the driveway.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.68,0:11:30.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'll just go up and down.\NWe won't leave.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.78,0:11:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.11,0:11:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, the only way\Nto de-stress and use humor
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.68,0:11:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to move away from yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.59,0:11:45.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to become the witness to your behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.51,0:11:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a very Buddhist kind of mindset.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.92,0:11:50.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Become the witness to your own behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.15,0:11:53.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about what you're thinking about.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.13,0:11:54.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it realistic?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.60,0:11:58.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're in a car, asking yourself\Nwhere the cars came from.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.100,0:12:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an idiotic question.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.62,0:12:01.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.87,0:12:03.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might want to ask yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.47,0:12:05.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Gee, I wonder why I said that?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.44,0:12:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.94,0:12:09.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This doesn't make any sense."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.79,0:12:13.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we try to ramp it up\Nand make it as bad as possible,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.74,0:12:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we torture the person next to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.39,0:12:17.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Did you see all the cars?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.78,0:12:19.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.18,0:12:21.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, I'm an idiot. I didn't notice."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:21.95,0:12:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.88,0:12:28.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you do this\Nwhen you go food shopping?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.22,0:12:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've stood in line with people\Nwho are harrumphing
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.35,0:12:33.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and pawing the earth like bison
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.64,0:12:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.08,0:12:38.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and going insane,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.45,0:12:41.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asking stupid questions again.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.76,0:12:45.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, "Oh! Oh! Look at\Nall these people in the store!
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.02,0:12:46.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.28,0:12:48.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wonder why they're here now?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:48.19,0:12:49.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.55,0:12:53.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See the Seinfeld's part in this.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.91,0:12:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask yourself, "Why am I saying this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.31,0:12:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People go shopping at odd hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.98,0:13:00.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no plot.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.14,0:13:02.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're not here to take revenge on me.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.71,0:13:04.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.54,0:13:11.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you imagine what the world\Nwould be like if we lightened up?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.06,0:13:13.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if we lightened up?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.88,0:13:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What if every one of you
Dialogue: 0,0:13:15.62,0:13:19.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,realized that you were the joke\N"koo, koo, kajoo"?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.93,0:13:21.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.27,0:13:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine what fun we could have\Nwith people that we met
Dialogue: 0,0:13:26.39,0:13:31.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we started listening to our dialogue\Ninstead of taking it so seriously.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.51,0:13:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if you think the worst\Nand get the worst, you suffer twice.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.87,0:13:39.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you think the best and get the worst,\Nyou only suffer once.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.14,0:13:40.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.46,0:13:43.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I think a lot of us like to suffer.\NWhat do you think?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.07,0:13:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes! And let's face it -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.86,0:13:50.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it isn't just something \Nthat we do on purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.27,0:13:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of us have overreactive\Nparts of our brain.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.17,0:13:56.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they've noticed
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.63,0:14:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when Buddhist monks\Nhave meditated since they were children,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.86,0:14:04.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that part of their brain\Nis not as reactive.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.97,0:14:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's sort of innate\Nto a lot of us, isn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.96,0:14:11.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we're born\Nwith that predisposition.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.58,0:14:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People in my family, all the women,\Nhave had panic attacks, including myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.23,0:14:18.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The wonder of my journey
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.99,0:14:22.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that I have been able\Nto teach other people
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.45,0:14:24.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the things that I needed to learn.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.21,0:14:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I continue to try to do that
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.62,0:14:30.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because as you get older -
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.96,0:14:34.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was 77 a couple of months ago ...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.30,0:14:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.73,0:14:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you. I'm still alive!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.45,0:14:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ha ha ha ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.64,0:14:41.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.63,0:14:45.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what people come up to me and say:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.62,0:14:47.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, you're still doing this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.06,0:14:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "Yeah, I'm not dead yet, OK?"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.01,0:14:50.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.98,0:14:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my greatest visions\Nis to see the world lighten up.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.75,0:15:00.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because if each and every one of us\Nhad a light heart,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.38,0:15:02.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we could share it\Nwith others, couldn't we?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.62,0:15:05.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And our energy in this world would change.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.60,0:15:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So many times when we engage\Nwith each other,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:08.57,0:15:13.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's out of - I don't know - necessity\Nto get out of the place we're in.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.25,0:15:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't even know\Nwhere we are half the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:16.41,0:15:18.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we're always thinking\Nwhere we're going next.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.92,0:15:20.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't even enjoy the moments,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.70,0:15:23.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we have to take selfies\Nof the moments we're in
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.41,0:15:24.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:24.46,0:15:26.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we can watch the moment later.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.82,0:15:28.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.26,0:15:34.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are so many ways that \Nwe can get through this life and laugh,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.74,0:15:37.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of them\Nis to just laugh on purpose.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.06,0:15:38.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just crack yourself up!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:38.31,0:15:39.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:39.65,0:15:41.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a staff-laugh at work!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.15,0:15:45.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit with your friends and laugh!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.08,0:15:47.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, some people haven't had\Na good laugh for years,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.66,0:15:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're riding\Nwith a committee in their head -
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.74,0:15:51.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people who told them,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.90,0:15:54.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wipe that stupid grin off your face!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.24,0:15:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You think this is funny?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.06,0:15:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.36,0:16:02.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When are you going to control yourself\Nso you can be like me - you see how I am?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.35,0:16:03.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.57,0:16:07.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you got to grow up\Nand be an adult
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.60,0:16:09.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and squeeze a lot, squeeze."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.51,0:16:10.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.88,0:16:16.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So consider another option,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:16.51,0:16:17.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Smile.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.51,0:16:20.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Smile often. Smile at your fellow human.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.91,0:16:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, when you're going\Nthrough the counter
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.28,0:16:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're paying for your groceries:
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.08,0:16:26.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, hey - check me out!"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.40,0:16:27.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.48,0:16:32.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Become the fun you're seeking!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.51,0:16:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So many of us are waiting for the fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.34,0:16:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are the fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.22,0:16:42.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And smiling at one another creates a sense\Nof lightness around you, doesn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.51,0:16:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I talk to everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.71,0:16:46.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't care whether\Nthey want to hear me or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.09,0:16:47.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.50,0:16:52.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just know that I want to enjoy\Nwhatever life I have left on this planet.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.41,0:16:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, another couple of things\NI want to share with you
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.08,0:16:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before my time is up -
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.99,0:16:59.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's not up totally yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.48,0:17:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Buy yourself a little red nose.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.100,0:17:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try complaining with this nose on.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.92,0:17:07.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.77,0:17:11.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Walk into a store.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:11.37,0:17:12.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.88,0:17:15.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say "I don't see anybody here.\NWhere are they?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.40,0:17:16.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.77,0:17:25.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're in a relationship,\Nand your partner wants to get amorous,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:25.91,0:17:27.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're not in the mood,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.33,0:17:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.48,0:17:29.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put your nose on.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.71,0:17:30.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.44,0:17:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say "Why don't you start without me?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.59,0:17:34.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:36.53,0:17:38.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When it sounds good, I'll be in."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.77,0:17:39.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:40.99,0:17:42.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience member) Wooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.22,0:17:43.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ha ha ha ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.37,0:17:47.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, who knows, 50 shades of grey -\N50 shades of noses, I don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.94,0:17:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.19,0:17:55.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you like to pre-suffer, and you have\Na psychic mentality, put this on.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:55.26,0:17:58.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get yourself a little costume\Nlike this and put it on.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.02,0:18:00.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Start a psychic booth.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.76,0:18:02.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.10,0:18:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go into work and say:\N"It's going to be a bad day."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.83,0:18:05.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.90,0:18:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Next week it's going to get worse."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.26,0:18:12.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.82,0:18:16.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If someone says it's a beautiful day -\N"It's going to rain Friday."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:16.25,0:18:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:17.25,0:18:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many people do you know like this?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.90,0:18:22.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like why suffer in advance?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:22.35,0:18:23.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.76,0:18:26.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, we don't have\Nthat much time, as I said before.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:26.81,0:18:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all going to go to another place.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:29.49,0:18:30.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Enjoy it.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:30.71,0:18:33.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't have to be\Na perfectionist at everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:33.17,0:18:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't have to be a martyr.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.98,0:18:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't have to be a control freak.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.24,0:18:38.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tamp it down.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:39.06,0:18:41.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've never walked through\Na cemetery that said,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.25,0:18:43.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Did everything. Died anyway."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:43.61,0:18:44.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:49.52,0:18:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if nothing that I've said works -
Dialogue: 0,0:18:52.16,0:18:54.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love this, this is a great metaphor.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:54.76,0:18:56.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You want to drive yourself crazy?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:56.35,0:18:57.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get a whip.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:58.22,0:19:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Use it when you wake up in the morning.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.08,0:19:02.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Start right in: "Oh, it's raining.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.19,0:19:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:05.25,0:19:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, I'm so bloated.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.03,0:19:08.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.74,0:19:10.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, I'm still married to you?"
Dialogue: 0,0:19:10.61,0:19:11.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:14.48,0:19:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take it to work.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.79,0:19:18.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are people there that you know\Nwere brought in to disturb you.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:18.98,0:19:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go right up to them,\Nsay "I was fine until I saw you."
Dialogue: 0,0:19:21.73,0:19:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:26.92,0:19:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you've given up your power,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.78,0:19:31.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you've lost your sense of humor.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.33,0:19:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I hope you will go out\Ninto the world, especially tonight,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:37.08,0:19:39.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because some people will start right in\Nas soon as they leave:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:39.98,0:19:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, it's dark.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.54,0:19:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:44.08,0:19:45.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my God! It got dark!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.49,0:19:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.49,0:19:47.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can you believe it?"
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.50,0:19:50.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I didn't believe it\Nuntil you told me. Now I know.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:50.04,0:19:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:53.48,0:19:55.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And where's the car?\NCan we find it?"
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.26,0:19:58.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"No, we're going to sleep\Nhere on the sidewalk tonight."
Dialogue: 0,0:19:58.88,0:19:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.89,0:20:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ha ha ha ha!
Dialogue: 0,0:20:01.100,0:20:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You've got to see the funny.\NYou really do.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:04.62,0:20:07.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the best revenge, folks.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:08.04,0:20:09.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's a wonderful connection
Dialogue: 0,0:20:09.64,0:20:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because when you can laugh at yourself,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:11.94,0:20:13.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it shows your humility.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.94,0:20:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it really breeds\Nconnection to all of us.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:17.50,0:20:19.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because we're all vulnerable,\Naren't we?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.100,0:20:21.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're all vulnerable.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.60,0:20:23.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, thank you so very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:23.59,0:20:26.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope you have a wonderful,\Nwonderful rest of your life.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:26.52,0:20:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you. Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.92,0:20:28.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheering)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:28.93,0:20:29.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:29.99,0:20:31.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)