1 00:00:12,491 --> 00:00:14,700 Well, I've been teaching stress management 2 00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,910 for a good 30 years, 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,288 and I have to tell you: 4 00:00:19,288 --> 00:00:21,017 people are going insane. 5 00:00:21,387 --> 00:00:22,581 (Laughter) 6 00:00:23,271 --> 00:00:25,329 It's just unbelievable, isn't it? 7 00:00:26,039 --> 00:00:28,631 I mean, I think about my origins. 8 00:00:28,631 --> 00:00:31,103 I'm a Sicilian girl from Brooklyn 9 00:00:31,983 --> 00:00:36,232 and was born into this Italian family with a lot of drama. 10 00:00:36,232 --> 00:00:37,381 A lot of drama. 11 00:00:37,381 --> 00:00:39,307 I mean, you know, it's like an opera. 12 00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:41,126 You take the garbage out, 13 00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:45,419 you've got to go, "Oh, taking the garbage out, oohhhhh!" 14 00:00:45,859 --> 00:00:48,906 And you've got to kiss everybody because you might not come back. 15 00:00:48,906 --> 00:00:50,095 Who knows? 16 00:00:50,095 --> 00:00:51,454 (Laughter) 17 00:00:53,844 --> 00:00:56,885 But the word "stress" didn't even exist then. 18 00:00:56,885 --> 00:00:58,852 Nobody talked about stress. 19 00:00:58,852 --> 00:01:00,107 There was a depression. 20 00:01:00,107 --> 00:01:01,702 There was World War II. 21 00:01:01,702 --> 00:01:05,287 My grandmother had three sons in the army, 22 00:01:05,287 --> 00:01:09,444 and she was always suffering because of that - Sicilian martyrdom. 23 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,958 Every time I looked at her: "Oh I suffer!" 24 00:01:11,958 --> 00:01:13,108 (Laughter) 25 00:01:13,718 --> 00:01:15,449 But we laughed a lot. 26 00:01:15,489 --> 00:01:18,583 You know what else we did? We ate a lot. 27 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,913 We ate, and when we were eating, we practiced to eat again. 28 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:24,769 We talked about eating all the time. 29 00:01:24,769 --> 00:01:26,239 (Laughter) 30 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:30,823 We had some fun amidst the angst that was going on. 31 00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:34,231 And people seemed to just roll with the punches. 32 00:01:34,231 --> 00:01:37,241 I mean, they accepted the reality, 33 00:01:37,241 --> 00:01:41,274 and they had a community of people that helped them. 34 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:43,470 They were called neighbors. You remember them? 35 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:44,975 (Laughter) 36 00:01:45,335 --> 00:01:48,776 Nobody comes to your house any more with a sausage or a meatball. 37 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,179 (Laughter) 38 00:01:51,031 --> 00:01:53,870 Because, you know, what if your LDL is too high? 39 00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:54,854 (Laughter) 40 00:01:55,314 --> 00:01:57,746 Or something might go wrong, you know. 41 00:01:57,746 --> 00:01:59,445 And who are these people, anyway? 42 00:01:59,445 --> 00:02:01,638 You see them coming to the door, you "Aaaah!" 43 00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:02,677 (Laughter) 44 00:02:02,677 --> 00:02:06,234 "I don't want to see any people! I have my show to watch tonight. 45 00:02:06,234 --> 00:02:07,454 (Laughter) 46 00:02:07,454 --> 00:02:09,175 The one with neighbors in it. 47 00:02:09,175 --> 00:02:10,469 (Laughter) 48 00:02:14,521 --> 00:02:18,133 I don't ever remember my grandmother standing in front of the sink, going, 49 00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:21,013 "O Madonna mia! I'm so stressed! 50 00:02:22,783 --> 00:02:24,342 I can't take it no more. 51 00:02:25,182 --> 00:02:27,323 I got to go to my spin class. 52 00:02:27,323 --> 00:02:28,746 (Laughter) 53 00:02:29,511 --> 00:02:32,097 Maybe I forgot my kale smoothie this morning, 54 00:02:32,097 --> 00:02:33,564 (Laughter) 55 00:02:33,564 --> 00:02:35,669 and I don't know where my Fitbit is." 56 00:02:35,669 --> 00:02:37,019 (Laughter) 57 00:02:42,784 --> 00:02:45,123 We have gotten to a place 58 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,801 where we don't know how to see humor in our lives, 59 00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:51,833 because we don't have those people stopping by - 60 00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:54,686 the characters that were once in my life 61 00:02:54,686 --> 00:02:57,386 that provided me with historical references 62 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,520 that I could put in my books. 63 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,045 We don't have those meals together like we often did, 64 00:03:03,045 --> 00:03:06,427 where we talked and laughed and shared stories. 65 00:03:06,427 --> 00:03:09,783 And if you acted up - huh, lots of luck! 66 00:03:09,783 --> 00:03:10,833 (Laughter) 67 00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:14,079 You got told, "What's wrong with you?" 68 00:03:14,649 --> 00:03:16,836 And I went to Catholic school. 69 00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:19,521 I had the Sisters of Perpetual Mood Disorder. 70 00:03:19,521 --> 00:03:21,082 (Laughter) 71 00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:26,457 Trust me, they didn't let you get away with anything. 72 00:03:28,507 --> 00:03:29,510 And, you know, 73 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:33,267 that's all part of understanding how to humor your stress, isn't it? 74 00:03:33,327 --> 00:03:36,168 To have people around to guide you, 75 00:03:36,168 --> 00:03:37,589 to laugh with you, 76 00:03:37,589 --> 00:03:40,063 to make light of things here and there 77 00:03:40,063 --> 00:03:43,119 instead of all this drama we go around with now, don't we? 78 00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:44,985 Isn't there a lot of drama? 79 00:03:45,535 --> 00:03:48,551 Everybody's got to tell you what's happening. 80 00:03:48,551 --> 00:03:50,881 Facebook is full of stories: 81 00:03:50,881 --> 00:03:53,878 "Oooh! You should see what happened! 82 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,337 I was in traffic!" 83 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,494 (Laughter) 84 00:03:58,244 --> 00:04:01,981 "Oh, here's a picture of me going through the E-ZPass." 85 00:04:01,981 --> 00:04:03,269 (Laughter) 86 00:04:06,869 --> 00:04:08,558 This is pathetic, folks. 87 00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:11,030 Pathetic, isn't it? 88 00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:13,790 We don't have a life anymore. 89 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,558 Because in our life, 90 00:04:15,558 --> 00:04:17,856 we have become human doings. 91 00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:19,898 We're no longer human beings. 92 00:04:19,898 --> 00:04:22,599 We have to tell everybody we meet what we're doing. 93 00:04:22,599 --> 00:04:24,595 That's why we're so stressed out. 94 00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:25,941 Everybody we meet: 95 00:04:25,941 --> 00:04:28,606 "You know, you know what I'm doing? 96 00:04:29,046 --> 00:04:30,518 Do you know how busy I am? 97 00:04:30,518 --> 00:04:32,994 I am so busy I don't know what to do!“ 98 00:04:32,994 --> 00:04:34,462 (Laughter) 99 00:04:34,462 --> 00:04:37,447 Well, maybe you should shut up. Maybe that would help. 100 00:04:37,447 --> 00:04:38,901 (Laughter) 101 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,358 Just shut up. 102 00:04:41,358 --> 00:04:42,737 (Laughter) 103 00:04:44,557 --> 00:04:46,485 But now the person you've told - 104 00:04:46,485 --> 00:04:48,464 hey, they have to ramp it up! 105 00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:49,714 (Laughter) 106 00:04:49,714 --> 00:04:51,254 They've got to win this contest, 107 00:04:51,254 --> 00:04:52,364 for God's sake! 108 00:04:52,364 --> 00:04:53,604 (Laughter) 109 00:04:53,604 --> 00:04:54,846 So they have to say, 110 00:04:54,846 --> 00:04:56,559 "You think you're busy? 111 00:04:56,559 --> 00:04:58,499 You should see how busy I am!" 112 00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,855 (Laughter) 113 00:05:00,269 --> 00:05:03,085 Now you have nowhere to go but your physical ailments. 114 00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,308 (Laughter) 115 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,559 You have to share them: 116 00:05:07,138 --> 00:05:10,632 "Well, my back hurts, my front hurts, my side. 117 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,753 And I don't go to the bathroom very much any more." 118 00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:15,057 (Laughter) 119 00:05:16,247 --> 00:05:19,255 And I have to tell you that the more stressed you are, 120 00:05:19,255 --> 00:05:21,317 the more you're going to need a laxative. 121 00:05:21,317 --> 00:05:22,565 (Laughter) 122 00:05:22,985 --> 00:05:24,582 We are one of the few countries - 123 00:05:24,582 --> 00:05:26,590 and I've been in many places in the world – 124 00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:28,040 that have so many laxatives. 125 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,228 (Laughter) 126 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:31,012 Why do you think that is? 127 00:05:31,784 --> 00:05:33,959 Look at people's faces, and you'll find out. 128 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:35,311 (Laughter) 129 00:05:37,019 --> 00:05:39,846 People walk around like this all day long, 130 00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:42,894 squeezing and squeezing and squeezing. 131 00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:44,359 (Laughter) 132 00:05:47,759 --> 00:05:50,962 By the time they go to bed at night, they look like dead parrots. 133 00:05:50,962 --> 00:05:52,273 (Laughter) 134 00:05:57,163 --> 00:05:59,784 We have problems with insomnia. 135 00:05:59,784 --> 00:06:03,309 More people are medicated now, taking sleeping medications. 136 00:06:03,309 --> 00:06:07,148 We have more people on antidepressants than any other place in the world. 137 00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:09,443 We even have children on antidepressants 138 00:06:09,443 --> 00:06:11,424 because we can't leave them alone either. 139 00:06:11,424 --> 00:06:12,639 (Laughter) 140 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,690 God forbid they should go out and play. 141 00:06:14,690 --> 00:06:17,527 Go out and play? What? Are you serious? 142 00:06:17,527 --> 00:06:20,485 I'm going to make an app that has a squirrel on it 143 00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:22,361 so the kids can see that. 144 00:06:22,361 --> 00:06:23,645 (Laughter) 145 00:06:25,205 --> 00:06:26,800 I'll probably make a fortune. 146 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,285 (Laughter) 147 00:06:28,653 --> 00:06:30,999 You can't even ride your bike up and down anymore. 148 00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,217 You've got to wear a NASA astronaut suit. 149 00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,736 (Laughter) 150 00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:38,689 You've got to wash yourself with Purell. 151 00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,704 You've got to have a healthy snack. 152 00:06:40,954 --> 00:06:42,897 No wonder the kids are stressed. 153 00:06:43,147 --> 00:06:44,988 I used to drink out of the hose. 154 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,218 (Laughter) 155 00:06:46,818 --> 00:06:48,700 And I'm still alive. 156 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,906 (Laughter) 157 00:06:49,906 --> 00:06:51,710 (Cheers) (Applause) 158 00:06:57,210 --> 00:07:00,573 I even fell off my bike, lots of times. 159 00:07:00,573 --> 00:07:02,048 (Laughter) 160 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:03,467 It's kind of sad, isn't it? 161 00:07:03,467 --> 00:07:06,019 Kids don't know how to be kids anymore, 162 00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:09,160 human beings don't know how to be human beings anymore, 163 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,419 because we're all stressed. 164 00:07:12,205 --> 00:07:14,676 It's become a metaphor for existence, hasn't it? 165 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:18,692 So I just want to start by taking you on a journey - 166 00:07:18,692 --> 00:07:20,177 perhaps to de-stress - 167 00:07:20,177 --> 00:07:22,040 with a simple little survey. 168 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,623 How many of you've been stressed the past week? Raise your hand. 169 00:07:26,214 --> 00:07:28,394 Past several weeks? 170 00:07:29,619 --> 00:07:31,442 Past month? 171 00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:33,800 Several months? 172 00:07:34,414 --> 00:07:35,835 Several years? 173 00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:37,316 (Laughter) 174 00:07:37,316 --> 00:07:38,701 Lifetime? 175 00:07:38,701 --> 00:07:40,118 (Laughter) 176 00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:43,860 Now, when we're stressed, what do we do? 177 00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:45,810 We like to tell people. 178 00:07:45,910 --> 00:07:47,350 And we form groups, 179 00:07:48,453 --> 00:07:50,185 global whining groups. 180 00:07:50,185 --> 00:07:51,199 (Laughter) 181 00:07:51,199 --> 00:07:54,034 We get together in our offices, in our home - wherever. 182 00:07:54,034 --> 00:07:57,352 Some people, before they leave the house, will tell their family: 183 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,505 "I'm going to be tired when I get back." 184 00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:00,975 (Laughter) 185 00:08:02,945 --> 00:08:05,074 This is a form of pre-suffering. 186 00:08:05,074 --> 00:08:06,210 (Laughter) 187 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,795 You're not tired yet, but you will be. 188 00:08:09,795 --> 00:08:11,215 (Laughter) 189 00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:14,835 Now, my suggestion is, when you're stressed like this, 190 00:08:14,835 --> 00:08:17,072 give yourself a standing ovation. 191 00:08:17,382 --> 00:08:18,737 Ask for one. 192 00:08:18,737 --> 00:08:21,875 Maybe when you go in your office, you walk in and you say, 193 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:23,220 "I came in. 194 00:08:23,220 --> 00:08:24,624 (Laughter) 195 00:08:24,624 --> 00:08:26,332 I'd like a standing ovation." 196 00:08:26,332 --> 00:08:27,602 (Laughter) 197 00:08:30,066 --> 00:08:31,316 Why not?! 198 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,650 When you go home tonight, 199 00:08:33,650 --> 00:08:36,438 some of you have already made yourself crazy 200 00:08:36,438 --> 00:08:39,777 by thinking about what went on while you weren't there. 201 00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:41,167 (Laughter) 202 00:08:42,017 --> 00:08:45,017 What's the difference? Something went on. 203 00:08:45,937 --> 00:08:49,650 When you walk in the door tonight, go in and say, "I'm back. 204 00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:52,216 I could have gone someplace else. 205 00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:53,417 (Laughter) 206 00:08:54,522 --> 00:08:56,783 You're damn lucky I came home. 207 00:08:56,783 --> 00:08:58,023 (Laughter) 208 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,057 I'd like a standing ovation." 209 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,434 (Laughter) 210 00:09:03,737 --> 00:09:07,259 So with that in mind, I want every one of you to stand up 211 00:09:07,259 --> 00:09:10,137 and give yourselves a standing ovation right now. 212 00:09:10,137 --> 00:09:12,212 (Applause) (Cheering) 213 00:09:15,382 --> 00:09:17,157 Woo hoo hoo hoo! 214 00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:21,172 Yahoo! 215 00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:28,279 That was awesome. 216 00:09:29,399 --> 00:09:32,330 Now, that's one step in the right direction. 217 00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:34,879 The second thing you have to do 218 00:09:34,879 --> 00:09:40,816 is realize we have 60,000 thoughts that go through our brains every day, 219 00:09:40,816 --> 00:09:43,342 most of which are there to disturb you. 220 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:49,256 A lot of us are always thinking about the worst possible scenario, aren't we? 221 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,348 "Oh my God, what's going to happen?" 222 00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:55,233 And, of course, the fear messages that come across with the media today 223 00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:57,147 just enhance that, don't they? 224 00:09:57,147 --> 00:10:00,852 A lot of you are crazy enough to put the news on in the morning. 225 00:10:00,852 --> 00:10:02,148 (Laughter) 226 00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,593 And we have to know what the weather is. 227 00:10:05,593 --> 00:10:06,691 When I was growing up, 228 00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:09,182 you know how you found out what the weather was like? 229 00:10:09,182 --> 00:10:10,955 You looked out of the window. 230 00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:12,717 You said, "Oh, it's raining." 231 00:10:13,157 --> 00:10:14,548 Not now. You put it on. 232 00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,257 You have to know it's raining, 233 00:10:16,257 --> 00:10:18,263 what the dew point is, 234 00:10:18,263 --> 00:10:20,411 and if there's some kind of thing - 235 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,459 a lot of rain - 236 00:10:21,459 --> 00:10:26,100 you have to watch some idiot anchorperson by the ocean with an umbrella. 237 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:27,551 (Laughter) 238 00:10:32,261 --> 00:10:35,400 Then, if it's nice here, they tell you where it's awful. 239 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:36,916 (Laughter) 240 00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:44,134 So you have to start your day always catastrophizing and awfulizing. 241 00:10:44,134 --> 00:10:48,937 That's a term that was developed by Dr. Albert Ellis, 242 00:10:48,937 --> 00:10:51,440 the author of rational emotive therapy. 243 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:56,331 And many of us are catastrophizing and awfulizing every day, aren't we? 244 00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,463 We get in our car, 245 00:10:58,463 --> 00:11:02,163 and we just can't take the fact that there's traffic. 246 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:05,430 Every time I went for a ride with one of my husbands, 247 00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,557 and I've had two - 248 00:11:06,557 --> 00:11:07,818 (Laughter) 249 00:11:08,118 --> 00:11:10,129 I call them my "was-bands" - 250 00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,629 (Laughter) 251 00:11:14,964 --> 00:11:16,736 the first thing they'd say is 252 00:11:16,736 --> 00:11:18,689 "Where did all these cars come from?" 253 00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:19,941 (Laughter) 254 00:11:19,941 --> 00:11:21,041 It's a road. 255 00:11:21,041 --> 00:11:22,352 (Laughter) 256 00:11:26,242 --> 00:11:27,451 I said, "Let's go home. 257 00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:28,680 Let's go in the driveway. 258 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,783 We'll just go up and down. We won't leave. 259 00:11:30,783 --> 00:11:32,147 (Laughter) 260 00:11:37,107 --> 00:11:41,678 See, the only way to de-stress and use humor 261 00:11:41,678 --> 00:11:43,594 is to move away from yourself, 262 00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:45,511 to become the witness to your behavior. 263 00:11:45,511 --> 00:11:47,915 That's a very Buddhist kind of mindset. 264 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,151 Become the witness to your own behavior. 265 00:11:50,151 --> 00:11:53,129 Think about what you're thinking about. 266 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,603 Is it realistic? 267 00:11:54,603 --> 00:11:58,995 You're in a car, asking yourself where the cars came from. 268 00:11:58,995 --> 00:12:00,619 It's an idiotic question. 269 00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:01,874 (Laughter) 270 00:12:01,874 --> 00:12:03,473 You might want to ask yourself, 271 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,442 "Gee, I wonder why I said that? 272 00:12:05,442 --> 00:12:06,942 (Laughter) 273 00:12:06,942 --> 00:12:09,042 This doesn't make any sense." 274 00:12:09,791 --> 00:12:13,738 And then we try to ramp it up and make it as bad as possible, 275 00:12:13,738 --> 00:12:15,864 and we torture the person next to us. 276 00:12:16,394 --> 00:12:17,780 "Did you see all the cars?" 277 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,031 (Laughter) 278 00:12:20,181 --> 00:12:21,952 "No, I'm an idiot. I didn't notice." 279 00:12:21,952 --> 00:12:23,112 (Laughter) 280 00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:28,222 How many of you do this when you go food shopping? 281 00:12:28,222 --> 00:12:31,350 I've stood in line with people who are harrumphing 282 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,635 and pawing the earth like bison 283 00:12:33,635 --> 00:12:35,084 (Laughter) 284 00:12:37,078 --> 00:12:38,862 and going insane, 285 00:12:39,452 --> 00:12:41,764 asking stupid questions again. 286 00:12:41,764 --> 00:12:45,021 Like, "Oh! Oh! Look at all these people in the store! 287 00:12:45,021 --> 00:12:46,282 (Laughter) 288 00:12:46,282 --> 00:12:48,194 I wonder why they're here now?" 289 00:12:48,194 --> 00:12:49,422 (Laughter) 290 00:12:51,554 --> 00:12:53,913 See the Seinfeld's part in this. 291 00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:56,307 Ask yourself, "Why am I saying this?" 292 00:12:56,307 --> 00:12:58,982 People go shopping at odd hours. 293 00:12:58,982 --> 00:13:00,143 There is no plot. 294 00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:02,710 They're not here to take revenge on me. 295 00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,121 (Laughter) 296 00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:11,631 Can you imagine what the world would be like if we lightened up? 297 00:13:12,063 --> 00:13:13,878 What if we lightened up? 298 00:13:13,878 --> 00:13:15,619 What if every one of you 299 00:13:15,619 --> 00:13:19,930 realized that you were the joke "koo, koo, kajoo"? 300 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,338 (Laughter) 301 00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:26,385 Imagine what fun we could have with people that we met 302 00:13:26,394 --> 00:13:31,447 if we started listening to our dialogue instead of taking it so seriously. 303 00:13:31,507 --> 00:13:34,982 Because if you think the worst and get the worst, you suffer twice. 304 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:39,104 If you think the best and get the worst, you only suffer once. 305 00:13:39,139 --> 00:13:40,463 (Laughter) 306 00:13:40,463 --> 00:13:43,689 But I think a lot of us like to suffer. What do you think? 307 00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:46,225 Yes! And let's face it - 308 00:13:46,856 --> 00:13:50,269 it isn't just something that we do on purpose. 309 00:13:50,269 --> 00:13:54,278 Some of us have overreactive parts of our brain. 310 00:13:55,173 --> 00:13:56,627 And they've noticed 311 00:13:56,627 --> 00:14:00,861 that when Buddhist monks have meditated since they were children, 312 00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:04,646 that part of their brain is not as reactive. 313 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,952 And that's sort of innate to a lot of us, isn't it? 314 00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:11,089 Because we're born with that predisposition. 315 00:14:11,578 --> 00:14:16,669 People in my family, all the women, have had panic attacks, including myself. 316 00:14:17,226 --> 00:14:18,988 The wonder of my journey 317 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:22,451 is that I have been able to teach other people 318 00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:24,712 the things that I needed to learn. 319 00:14:26,212 --> 00:14:28,625 And I continue to try to do that 320 00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,960 because as you get older - 321 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,268 and I was 77 a couple of months ago ... 322 00:14:34,298 --> 00:14:35,485 (Applause) 323 00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:39,452 Thank you. I'm still alive! 324 00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:40,638 Ha ha ha ha! 325 00:14:40,638 --> 00:14:41,958 (Laughter) 326 00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:45,620 That's what people come up to me and say: 327 00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,061 "Oh, you're still doing this?" 328 00:14:47,061 --> 00:14:49,006 I said, "Yeah, I'm not dead yet, OK?" 329 00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:50,675 (Laughter) 330 00:14:50,981 --> 00:14:56,746 One of my greatest visions is to see the world lighten up. 331 00:14:56,746 --> 00:15:00,377 Because if each and every one of us had a light heart, 332 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,589 we could share it with others, couldn't we? 333 00:15:02,622 --> 00:15:05,365 And our energy in this world would change. 334 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,570 So many times when we engage with each other, 335 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:13,725 it's out of - I don't know - necessity to get out of the place we're in. 336 00:15:14,252 --> 00:15:16,413 We don't even know where we are half the time, 337 00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:18,920 because we're always thinking where we're going next. 338 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,698 We don't even enjoy the moments, 339 00:15:20,698 --> 00:15:23,413 because we have to take selfies of the moments we're in 340 00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:24,462 (Laughter) 341 00:15:24,462 --> 00:15:26,820 so we can watch the moment later. 342 00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,210 (Laughter) 343 00:15:29,265 --> 00:15:34,063 There are so many ways that we can get through this life and laugh, 344 00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:37,056 and one of them is to just laugh on purpose. 345 00:15:37,056 --> 00:15:38,313 Just crack yourself up! 346 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,654 (Laughter) 347 00:15:39,654 --> 00:15:41,994 Have a staff-laugh at work! 348 00:15:43,154 --> 00:15:45,085 Sit with your friends and laugh! 349 00:15:45,085 --> 00:15:47,660 I mean, some people haven't had a good laugh for years, 350 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:50,490 because they're riding with a committee in their head - 351 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:51,905 people who told them, 352 00:15:51,905 --> 00:15:54,440 "Wipe that stupid grin off your face! 353 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:57,065 You think this is funny? 354 00:15:57,065 --> 00:15:58,357 (Laughter) 355 00:15:58,357 --> 00:16:02,350 When are you going to control yourself so you can be like me - you see how I am? 356 00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,744 (Laughter) 357 00:16:05,574 --> 00:16:07,600 Because you got to grow up and be an adult 358 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,508 and squeeze a lot, squeeze." 359 00:16:09,508 --> 00:16:10,893 (Laughter) 360 00:16:14,883 --> 00:16:16,511 So consider another option, 361 00:16:16,511 --> 00:16:17,510 Smile. 362 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,908 Smile often. Smile at your fellow human. 363 00:16:20,908 --> 00:16:23,278 You know, when you're going through the counter 364 00:16:23,278 --> 00:16:25,075 and you're paying for your groceries: 365 00:16:25,075 --> 00:16:26,403 "Hey, hey - check me out!" 366 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:27,520 (Laughter) 367 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,507 Become the fun you're seeking! 368 00:16:32,507 --> 00:16:34,338 So many of us are waiting for the fun. 369 00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:35,650 You are the fun. 370 00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:42,182 And smiling at one another creates a sense of lightness around you, doesn't it? 371 00:16:42,512 --> 00:16:43,714 I talk to everybody. 372 00:16:43,714 --> 00:16:46,087 I don't care whether they want to hear me or not. 373 00:16:46,087 --> 00:16:47,497 (Laughter) 374 00:16:47,497 --> 00:16:52,928 I just know that I want to enjoy whatever life I have left on this planet. 375 00:16:53,408 --> 00:16:56,080 So, another couple of things I want to share with you 376 00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:57,993 before my time is up - 377 00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,746 and it's not up totally yet. 378 00:17:00,476 --> 00:17:02,878 Buy yourself a little red nose. 379 00:17:03,998 --> 00:17:05,920 Try complaining with this nose on. 380 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,130 (Laughter) 381 00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:11,370 Walk into a store. 382 00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:12,885 (Laughter) 383 00:17:12,885 --> 00:17:15,340 Say "I don't see anybody here. Where are they?" 384 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,700 (Laughter) 385 00:17:22,766 --> 00:17:25,912 If you're in a relationship, and your partner wants to get amorous, 386 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,330 and you're not in the mood, 387 00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:28,433 (Laughter) 388 00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:29,713 put your nose on. 389 00:17:29,713 --> 00:17:30,955 (Laughter) 390 00:17:31,443 --> 00:17:33,586 Say "Why don't you start without me? 391 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:34,650 (Laughter) 392 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:38,730 When it sounds good, I'll be in." 393 00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:39,922 (Laughter) 394 00:17:40,987 --> 00:17:42,222 (Audience member) Wooh! 395 00:17:42,222 --> 00:17:43,561 Ha ha ha ha! 396 00:17:44,374 --> 00:17:47,915 Hey, who knows, 50 shades of grey - 50 shades of noses, I don't know. 397 00:17:47,935 --> 00:17:49,237 (Laughter) 398 00:17:51,187 --> 00:17:55,245 If you like to pre-suffer, and you have a psychic mentality, put this on. 399 00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:58,459 Get yourself a little costume like this and put it on. 400 00:17:59,019 --> 00:18:00,764 Start a psychic booth. 401 00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:02,104 (Laughter) 402 00:18:02,104 --> 00:18:04,829 Go into work and say: "It's going to be a bad day." 403 00:18:04,829 --> 00:18:05,990 (Laughter) 404 00:18:08,895 --> 00:18:11,256 "Next week it's going to get worse." 405 00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,536 (Laughter) 406 00:18:12,823 --> 00:18:16,220 If someone says it's a beautiful day - "It's going to rain Friday." 407 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:17,250 (Laughter) 408 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,900 How many people do you know like this? 409 00:18:19,903 --> 00:18:22,271 It's like why suffer in advance? 410 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:23,761 (Laughter) 411 00:18:23,761 --> 00:18:26,812 You know, we don't have that much time, as I said before. 412 00:18:26,812 --> 00:18:29,184 We're all going to go to another place. 413 00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:30,711 Enjoy it. 414 00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:33,170 You don't have to be a perfectionist at everything. 415 00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,981 You don't have to be a martyr. 416 00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:37,235 You don't have to be a control freak. 417 00:18:37,235 --> 00:18:38,529 Tamp it down. 418 00:18:39,059 --> 00:18:41,253 I've never walked through a cemetery that said, 419 00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,609 "Did everything. Died anyway." 420 00:18:43,609 --> 00:18:44,845 (Laughter) 421 00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:52,158 And if nothing that I've said works - 422 00:18:52,158 --> 00:18:54,762 I love this, this is a great metaphor. 423 00:18:54,762 --> 00:18:56,352 You want to drive yourself crazy? 424 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,713 Get a whip. 425 00:18:58,216 --> 00:19:00,075 Use it when you wake up in the morning. 426 00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:02,163 Start right in: "Oh, it's raining. 427 00:19:02,193 --> 00:19:03,483 (Laughter) 428 00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,024 Oh, I'm so bloated. 429 00:19:07,032 --> 00:19:08,352 (Laughter) 430 00:19:08,740 --> 00:19:10,610 Oh, I'm still married to you?" 431 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:11,973 (Laughter) 432 00:19:14,483 --> 00:19:15,794 Take it to work. 433 00:19:15,794 --> 00:19:18,983 There are people there that you know were brought in to disturb you. 434 00:19:18,983 --> 00:19:21,730 Go right up to them, say "I was fine until I saw you." 435 00:19:21,730 --> 00:19:23,185 (Laughter) 436 00:19:26,925 --> 00:19:29,168 Now you've given up your power, 437 00:19:29,775 --> 00:19:31,949 and you've lost your sense of humor. 438 00:19:33,332 --> 00:19:37,080 So I hope you will go out into the world, especially tonight, 439 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,984 because some people will start right in as soon as they leave: 440 00:19:39,984 --> 00:19:41,539 "Oh, it's dark. 441 00:19:41,539 --> 00:19:42,825 (Laughter) 442 00:19:44,076 --> 00:19:45,490 Oh my God! It got dark! 443 00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:46,490 (Laughter) 444 00:19:46,490 --> 00:19:47,495 Can you believe it?" 445 00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:50,045 No, I didn't believe it until you told me. Now I know. 446 00:19:50,045 --> 00:19:51,309 (Laughter) 447 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,902 "And where's the car? Can we find it?" 448 00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:58,878 "No, we're going to sleep here on the sidewalk tonight." 449 00:19:58,878 --> 00:19:59,894 (Laughter) 450 00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:01,133 Ha ha ha ha! 451 00:20:01,995 --> 00:20:04,622 You've got to see the funny. You really do. 452 00:20:04,622 --> 00:20:07,368 It's the best revenge, folks. 453 00:20:08,043 --> 00:20:09,642 And it's a wonderful connection 454 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,942 because when you can laugh at yourself, 455 00:20:11,942 --> 00:20:13,945 it shows your humility. 456 00:20:13,945 --> 00:20:17,487 And it really breeds connection to all of us. 457 00:20:17,497 --> 00:20:19,998 Because we're all vulnerable, aren't we? 458 00:20:19,998 --> 00:20:21,600 We're all vulnerable. 459 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,593 So, thank you so very much. 460 00:20:23,593 --> 00:20:26,525 I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful rest of your life. 461 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:27,915 Thank you. Thank you. 462 00:20:27,915 --> 00:20:28,933 (Applause) (Cheering) 463 00:20:28,933 --> 00:20:29,993 Thank you. 464 00:20:29,993 --> 00:20:31,213 (Applause)