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[This is an improvised talk (and intro)

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based on a suggested topic
from the audience.

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The speaker doesn't know
the content of the slides.]

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Moderator: Our next speaker --

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(Laughter)

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is an --

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incredibly --

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(Laughter)

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Is an incredibly experienced linguist

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working at a lab at MIT
with a small group of researchers,

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and through studying our language

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and the way that we communicate
with other people,

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he has stumbled upon
the secret of human intimacy.

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Here to give us his perspective,
please welcome to the stage,

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Anthony Veneziale.

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(Applause)

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(Laughter)

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Anthony Veneziale: You might think
I know what you're going through.

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You might be looking at me
here on the red dot,

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or you might be looking
at me on the screen.

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There's a one sixth of a second delay.

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Did I catch myself? I did.

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I could see myself before I turned,

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and that small delay
creates a little bit of a divide.

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(Laughter)

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And a divide is exactly what happens
with human language,

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and the processing of that language.

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I of course am working
out of a small lab at MIT.

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(Laughter)

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And we are scraping
for every insight that we can get.

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(Laughter)

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This is not often associated
with a computational challenge,

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but in this case,
we found that persistence of vision

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and auditory intake

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actually have more in common
than we ever realized,

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and we can see it in this first slide.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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Immediately your processing goes to,
"Is that a hard-boiled egg?"

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(Laughter)

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"Is that perhaps the structural
integrity of the egg

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being able to sustain
the weight of what seems to be a rock?

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Aha, is it in fact a real rock?"

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We go to questions
when we see visual information.

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But when we hear information,
this is what happens.

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(Laughter)

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The floodgates in our mind
open much like the streets of Shanghai.

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(Applause)

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So many pieces of information to process,

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so many ideas, concepts, feelings
and, of course, vulnerabilities

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that we don't often wish to share.

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And so we hide,

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and we hide behind what we like to call
the floodgate of intimacy.

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(Laughter)

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And what might that floodgate be holding?

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What is the dike upon which it is built?

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Well, first off --

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(Laughter)

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we found that it's different
for six different genotypes.

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(Applause)

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And, of course, we can start
categorizing these genotypes

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into a neuronormative experience
and a neurodiverse experience.

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(Laughter)

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On the right-hand side of the screen,

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you're seeing spikes
for the neurodiverse thinking.

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Now, there are generally
only two emotional states

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that a neurodiverse brain can tabulate
and keep count of at any given time,

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thereby eliminating the possibility
for them to be emotionally, sometimes,

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attuned to the present situation.

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But on the left-hand side,
you can see the neuronormative brain,

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which can often handle
about five different pieces

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of emotional cognitive information
at any given time.

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These are the slight variances
that you are seeing

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in the 75, 90 and 60 percentile,

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and then of course
that dramatic difference

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of the 25, 40 and 35 percentile.

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(Laughter)

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But of course, what is the neural network

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that is helping to bridge and build
these different discrepancies?

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(Laughter)

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Fear.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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And as we all know,
fear resides in the amygdala,

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and it is a very natural response,

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and it is very closely linked
with visual perception.

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It is not as closely linked
with verbal perception,

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so our fear receptors
often will be going off

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in advance of any of our cognitive usage
around verbal and words

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and cues of language.

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So as we see these fear moments,

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we of course are taken aback.

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We stumble in a certain direction,

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generally away from the intimacy.

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(Laughter)

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Now of course, there's a difference
between the male perception

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and the female perception

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and of trans and those who are in between,
all of those as well,

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and outside of the gender spectrum.

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(Laughter)

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But fear is the central
underlying underpinning

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of all of our response systems.

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Fight-or-flight is one of the earliest,

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some say reptilian,
response to our environment.

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How can we disengage or unhook ourselves
from the horns of the amygdala?

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(Laughter)

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Well, I'd like to tell you
the secret right now.

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(Applause)

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This is all making
much, much too much sense.

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(Laughter)

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The secret lies

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in turning our backs to one another,

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and I know that that sounds
absolutely like the opposite

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of what you were expecting,

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but when in a relationship
you turn your back to your partner

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and place your back upon their back --

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(Laughter)

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you eliminate visual cues.

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(Laughter)

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(Applause)

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You are more readily available

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to failing first,

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and failing first --

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(Laughter)

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far outweighs the lengths we go to

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to appeal to others,

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to our partners and to ourselves.

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We spend billions and billions of dollars

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on clothing, on makeup,

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on the latest trend of glasses,

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but what we don't spend money and time on

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is connecting with each other

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in a way that is truthful

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and honest

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and stripped of those visual receptors.

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(Applause)

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(Laughter)

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It sounds hard, doesn't it?

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(Laughter)

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But we want to be aggressive about this.

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We don't want to just sit on the couch.

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As a historian said earlier today,

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it's important to get up
and circumvent sometimes that couch.

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And how can we do it?

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Well yes, ice is a big part of it.

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Insights, compassion and empathy:

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I, C, E.

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(Applause)

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And when we start using this ice method,

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well, the possibilities become
much bigger than us.

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In fact, they become smaller than you.

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On a molecular level,

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I believe that that insight

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is the unifying theme

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for every talk you have seen so far at TED

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and will continue as we of course embark

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on this journey here on this tiny planet,

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on the ledge, on the precipice,

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as we are seeing, yes,
death is inevitable.

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(Laughter)

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Will it meet all of us at the same time,

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I think, is the variable we are inquiring.

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(Laughter)

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I think that timeline gets a bit longer

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when we use ice

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and when we rest our backs
upon one another

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and build together,

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leaving behind the fear

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and working towards --

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(Laughter)

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they'll edit this part out --

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(Laughter)

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a ripened experience of love,

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compassion,

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intimacy based on a truth

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that you are sharing from your mind's eye

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and the heart that we all can touch,

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tactilely feel,

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have maybe potentially a mushy experience

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that we don't just throw out
because it is browned,

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but let us slice in half
the experience we have gathered,

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let us seed what the heart, the core,

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the seed of that idea in each of us is,

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and let us share it back to back.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)