0:00:00.375,0:00:02.253
[This is an improvised talk (and intro)

0:00:02.277,0:00:04.393
based on a suggested topic[br]from the audience.

0:00:04.417,0:00:07.167
The speaker doesn't know[br]the content of the slides.]

0:00:08.167,0:00:09.768
Moderator: Our next speaker --

0:00:09.792,0:00:13.417
(Laughter)

0:00:15.042,0:00:16.292
is an --

0:00:18.625,0:00:19.917
incredibly --

0:00:22.958,0:00:24.559
(Laughter)

0:00:24.583,0:00:27.684
Is an incredibly experienced linguist

0:00:27.708,0:00:31.476
working at a lab at MIT[br]with a small group of researchers,

0:00:31.500,0:00:33.893
and through studying our language

0:00:33.917,0:00:36.309
and the way that we communicate[br]with other people,

0:00:36.333,0:00:40.101
he has stumbled upon[br]the secret of human intimacy.

0:00:40.125,0:00:43.018
Here to give us his perspective,[br]please welcome to the stage,

0:00:43.042,0:00:44.351
Anthony Veneziale.

0:00:44.375,0:00:47.083
(Applause)

0:00:53.375,0:00:57.042
(Laughter)

0:00:58.917,0:01:02.643
Anthony Veneziale: You might think[br]I know what you're going through.

0:01:02.667,0:01:05.434
You might be looking at me[br]here on the red dot,

0:01:05.458,0:01:08.726
or you might be looking[br]at me on the screen.

0:01:08.750,0:01:12.518
There's a one sixth of a second delay.

0:01:12.542,0:01:15.559
Did I catch myself? I did.

0:01:15.583,0:01:18.934
I could see myself before I turned,

0:01:18.958,0:01:23.018
and that small delay[br]creates a little bit of a divide.

0:01:23.042,0:01:26.125
(Laughter)

0:01:27.792,0:01:32.434
And a divide is exactly what happens[br]with human language,

0:01:32.458,0:01:35.934
and the processing of that language.

0:01:35.958,0:01:40.184
I of course am working[br]out of a small lab at MIT.

0:01:40.208,0:01:42.809
(Laughter)

0:01:42.833,0:01:46.184
And we are scraping[br]for every insight that we can get.

0:01:46.208,0:01:47.268
(Laughter)

0:01:47.292,0:01:52.351
This is not often associated[br]with a computational challenge,

0:01:52.375,0:01:56.726
but in this case,[br]we found that persistence of vision

0:01:56.750,0:01:59.101
and auditory intake

0:01:59.125,0:02:02.976
actually have more in common[br]than we ever realized,

0:02:03.000,0:02:05.518
and we can see it in this first slide.

0:02:05.542,0:02:09.684
(Laughter)

0:02:09.708,0:02:13.851
(Applause)

0:02:13.875,0:02:17.893
Immediately your processing goes to,[br]"Is that a hard-boiled egg?"

0:02:17.917,0:02:19.851
(Laughter)

0:02:19.875,0:02:24.059
"Is that perhaps the structural[br]integrity of the egg

0:02:24.083,0:02:27.268
being able to sustain[br]the weight of what seems to be a rock?

0:02:27.292,0:02:29.917
Aha, is it in fact a real rock?"

0:02:31.208,0:02:36.851
We go to questions[br]when we see visual information.

0:02:36.875,0:02:40.458
But when we hear information,[br]this is what happens.

0:02:41.250,0:02:44.559
(Laughter)

0:02:44.583,0:02:49.101
The floodgates in our mind[br]open much like the streets of Shanghai.

0:02:49.125,0:02:53.559
(Applause)

0:02:53.583,0:02:56.184
So many pieces of information to process,

0:02:56.208,0:02:59.976
so many ideas, concepts, feelings[br]and, of course, vulnerabilities

0:03:00.000,0:03:02.351
that we don't often wish to share.

0:03:02.375,0:03:03.976
And so we hide,

0:03:04.000,0:03:08.476
and we hide behind what we like to call[br]the floodgate of intimacy.

0:03:08.500,0:03:10.893
(Laughter)

0:03:10.917,0:03:13.559
And what might that floodgate be holding?

0:03:13.583,0:03:16.893
What is the dike upon which it is built?

0:03:16.917,0:03:18.893
Well, first off --

0:03:18.917,0:03:24.268
(Laughter)

0:03:24.292,0:03:28.476
we found that it's different[br]for six different genotypes.

0:03:28.500,0:03:31.833
(Applause)

0:03:37.958,0:03:40.809
And, of course, we can start[br]categorizing these genotypes

0:03:40.833,0:03:44.976
into a neuronormative experience[br]and a neurodiverse experience.

0:03:45.000,0:03:47.101
(Laughter)

0:03:47.125,0:03:48.976
On the right-hand side of the screen,

0:03:49.000,0:03:52.309
you're seeing spikes[br]for the neurodiverse thinking.

0:03:52.333,0:03:54.726
Now, there are generally[br]only two emotional states

0:03:54.750,0:04:00.393
that a neurodiverse brain can tabulate[br]and keep count of at any given time,

0:04:00.417,0:04:06.226
thereby eliminating the possibility[br]for them to be emotionally, sometimes,

0:04:06.250,0:04:08.518
attuned to the present situation.

0:04:08.542,0:04:12.059
But on the left-hand side,[br]you can see the neuronormative brain,

0:04:12.083,0:04:15.309
which can often handle[br]about five different pieces

0:04:15.333,0:04:18.684
of emotional cognitive information[br]at any given time.

0:04:18.708,0:04:21.517
These are the slight variances[br]that you are seeing

0:04:21.541,0:04:23.976
in the 75, 90 and 60 percentile,

0:04:24.000,0:04:26.059
and then of course[br]that dramatic difference

0:04:26.083,0:04:28.268
of the 25, 40 and 35 percentile.

0:04:28.292,0:04:29.309
(Laughter)

0:04:29.333,0:04:31.643
But of course, what is the neural network

0:04:31.667,0:04:37.208
that is helping to bridge and build[br]these different discrepancies?

0:04:38.333,0:04:41.292
(Laughter)

0:04:47.125,0:04:48.393
Fear.

0:04:48.417,0:04:50.268
(Laughter)

0:04:50.292,0:04:52.542
(Applause)

0:04:56.167,0:04:59.018
And as we all know,[br]fear resides in the amygdala,

0:04:59.042,0:05:01.309
and it is a very natural response,

0:05:01.333,0:05:05.809
and it is very closely linked[br]with visual perception.

0:05:05.833,0:05:09.018
It is not as closely linked[br]with verbal perception,

0:05:09.042,0:05:12.018
so our fear receptors[br]often will be going off

0:05:12.042,0:05:18.184
in advance of any of our cognitive usage[br]around verbal and words

0:05:18.208,0:05:20.393
and cues of language.

0:05:20.417,0:05:23.226
So as we see these fear moments,

0:05:23.250,0:05:26.018
we of course are taken aback.

0:05:26.042,0:05:28.542
We stumble in a certain direction,

0:05:30.292,0:05:33.184
generally away from the intimacy.

0:05:33.208,0:05:35.143
(Laughter)

0:05:35.167,0:05:38.518
Now of course, there's a difference[br]between the male perception

0:05:38.542,0:05:40.018
and the female perception

0:05:40.042,0:05:43.976
and of trans and those who are in between,[br]all of those as well,

0:05:44.000,0:05:46.143
and outside of the gender spectrum.

0:05:46.167,0:05:49.518
(Laughter)

0:05:49.542,0:05:53.268
But fear is the central[br]underlying underpinning

0:05:53.292,0:05:55.726
of all of our response systems.

0:05:55.750,0:05:59.226
Fight-or-flight is one of the earliest,

0:05:59.250,0:06:03.226
some say reptilian,[br]response to our environment.

0:06:03.250,0:06:08.559
How can we disengage or unhook ourselves[br]from the horns of the amygdala?

0:06:08.583,0:06:10.684
(Laughter)

0:06:10.708,0:06:13.643
Well, I'd like to tell you[br]the secret right now.

0:06:13.667,0:06:16.875
(Applause)

0:06:21.583,0:06:24.059
This is all making[br]much, much too much sense.

0:06:24.083,0:06:26.333
(Laughter)

0:06:28.167,0:06:31.351
The secret lies

0:06:31.375,0:06:34.601
in turning our backs to one another,

0:06:34.625,0:06:38.309
and I know that that sounds[br]absolutely like the opposite

0:06:38.333,0:06:40.309
of what you were expecting,

0:06:40.333,0:06:44.643
but when in a relationship[br]you turn your back to your partner

0:06:44.667,0:06:47.393
and place your back upon their back --

0:06:47.417,0:06:49.976
(Laughter)

0:06:50.000,0:06:52.101
you eliminate visual cues.

0:06:52.125,0:06:53.309
(Laughter)

0:06:53.333,0:06:55.917
(Applause)

0:06:58.292,0:07:01.309
You are more readily available

0:07:01.333,0:07:05.143
to failing first,

0:07:05.167,0:07:06.833
and failing first --

0:07:07.708,0:07:09.809
(Laughter)

0:07:09.833,0:07:15.393
far outweighs the lengths we go to

0:07:15.417,0:07:17.809
to appeal to others,

0:07:17.833,0:07:20.059
to our partners and to ourselves.

0:07:20.083,0:07:23.059
We spend billions and billions of dollars

0:07:23.083,0:07:26.351
on clothing, on makeup,

0:07:26.375,0:07:28.750
on the latest trend of glasses,

0:07:30.667,0:07:33.518
but what we don't spend money and time on

0:07:33.542,0:07:36.434
is connecting with each other

0:07:36.458,0:07:38.684
in a way that is truthful

0:07:38.708,0:07:39.976
and honest

0:07:40.000,0:07:42.893
and stripped of those visual receptors.

0:07:42.917,0:07:46.500
(Applause)

0:07:48.542,0:07:50.934
(Laughter)

0:07:50.958,0:07:52.684
It sounds hard, doesn't it?

0:07:52.708,0:07:56.625
(Laughter)

0:08:01.917,0:08:03.958
But we want to be aggressive about this.

0:08:05.375,0:08:07.625
We don't want to just sit on the couch.

0:08:08.792,0:08:10.684
As a historian said earlier today,

0:08:10.708,0:08:15.976
it's important to get up[br]and circumvent sometimes that couch.

0:08:16.000,0:08:17.601
And how can we do it?

0:08:17.625,0:08:20.458
Well yes, ice is a big part of it.

0:08:22.792,0:08:25.601
Insights, compassion and empathy:

0:08:25.625,0:08:27.934
I, C, E.

0:08:27.958,0:08:30.750
(Applause)

0:08:39.500,0:08:42.582
And when we start using this ice method,

0:08:44.458,0:08:48.500
well, the possibilities become[br]much bigger than us.

0:08:49.542,0:08:52.833
In fact, they become smaller than you.

0:08:54.583,0:08:56.934
On a molecular level,

0:08:56.958,0:08:59.976
I believe that that insight

0:09:00.000,0:09:01.809
is the unifying theme

0:09:01.833,0:09:04.934
for every talk you have seen so far at TED

0:09:04.958,0:09:08.226
and will continue as we of course embark

0:09:08.250,0:09:13.476
on this journey here on this tiny planet,

0:09:13.500,0:09:16.601
on the ledge, on the precipice,

0:09:16.625,0:09:20.059
as we are seeing, yes,[br]death is inevitable.

0:09:20.083,0:09:22.684
(Laughter)

0:09:22.708,0:09:25.268
Will it meet all of us at the same time,

0:09:25.292,0:09:27.726
I think, is the variable we are inquiring.

0:09:27.750,0:09:29.750
(Laughter)

0:09:34.375,0:09:37.143
I think that timeline gets a bit longer

0:09:37.167,0:09:38.643
when we use ice

0:09:38.667,0:09:41.875
and when we rest our backs[br]upon one another

0:09:43.458,0:09:45.059
and build together,

0:09:45.083,0:09:47.101
leaving behind the fear

0:09:47.125,0:09:48.792
and working towards --

0:09:49.500,0:09:52.833
(Laughter)

0:10:02.125,0:10:03.726
they'll edit this part out --

0:10:03.750,0:10:05.708
(Laughter)

0:10:08.500,0:10:12.643
a ripened experience of love,

0:10:12.667,0:10:14.143
compassion,

0:10:14.167,0:10:16.476
intimacy based on a truth

0:10:16.500,0:10:20.184
that you are sharing from your mind's eye

0:10:20.208,0:10:24.476
and the heart that we all can touch,

0:10:24.500,0:10:26.226
tactilely feel,

0:10:26.250,0:10:30.684
have maybe potentially a mushy experience

0:10:30.708,0:10:33.833
that we don't just throw out[br]because it is browned,

0:10:35.333,0:10:41.476
but let us slice in half[br]the experience we have gathered,

0:10:41.500,0:10:44.351
let us seed what the heart, the core,

0:10:44.375,0:10:47.101
the seed of that idea in each of us is,

0:10:47.125,0:10:49.226
and let us share it back to back.

0:10:49.250,0:10:50.643
Thank you very much.

0:10:50.667,0:10:55.083
(Applause)