WEBVTT

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I'm a highly sensitive person.

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What is the first thing you think
about when I tell you that?

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That I must be shy and introverted?

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Or perhaps very emotional?

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Or maybe even that you need
to walk on eggshells around me?

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The common assumption
about highly sensitive people

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is that we are somehow
weak and fragile creatures

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who picked a losing ticket
in the genetic lottery of life.

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You can see this in action
when you google the word "sensitive."

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You will see images
of toothache, irritated skin,

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(Laughing)

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wilted dandelions, and crying people.

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Sensitivity clearly has a PR problem.

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(Laughter)

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Today I want to help change that.

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Maybe by now you're wondering
what is it like to be highly sensitive?

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I invite you to imagine living
with all your senses on high alert.

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You also have a vivid inner world,

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where all of your emotions are magnified.

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Sadness is a deep sorrow,
and joy is pure ecstasy.

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You also care beyond reason


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and empathize without limits.

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Imagine being in permanent osmosis
with everything around you.

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Highly sensitive people
often hear things like:

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"You are too sensitive,"


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"Stop taking everything to heart,"

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or my favorite, "You should
really toughen up."

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The fundamental message is clear:

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to be highly sensitive
is to be highly flawed.

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I used to agree with that.

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I always thought I should
come with some sort of warning sign

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or a disclaimer:
"careful; highly sensitive."

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Now, let me share with you

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a few of the perks of being
a highly sensitive person.

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For one, I have an intensely
overactive mind,

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which means it's impossible to switch off.

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That also means that insomnia
is my best friend.

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As you can imagine, that is particularly
handy the night before a TED talk.

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(Laughing)

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Also I cannot watch scary
or violent movies

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because the images haunt me forever

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I remember when I was a child,
I watched the movie "Jaws".

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It traumatized me so much

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that I was unable
to go near a swimming pool,

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let alone the sea, for several years.

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And, embarrassingly enough,

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I do my childhood nickname
of "Princess of the Pea" proud

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when it comes to traveling and hotel beds.

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The mattress should be not too hard,
not too soft; it has to be just right.

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My father once jokingly recommended

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that I should simply start traveling
with my own bed and pillow

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to avoid any future travel hassles.

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(Laughing)

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I often wondered, "what good
could it possibly do me to be this way?"

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Well, the gifts of sensitivity
slowly crept up on me.

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I've come to learn to love that
I deeply and easily connect with others

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and also that I have a strong intuition
that guides me like an infallible GPS.

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It was only at the age of 25
that I came across a book

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that changed my life:

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"The Highly Sensitive Person"
by Dr. Elaine Aron.

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I could finally put a name

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to my overwhelmingly
technicolor experience of life,

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and it gave me hope
that there were others like me.

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In this book she describes
highly sensitive people, or in short HSPs,

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as people who have a genetic trait
of sensory processing sensitivity.

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That's quite a mouthful.

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And, surprisingly, 15 - 20%
of the population is HSP.

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Now, she uses the wonderful acronym "DOES"
to summarize the core traits of HSPs.

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The "D" stands for "depth of processing".

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As HSPs, we have a phenomenal ability
to deeply analyze absolutely everything.

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My favorite example for this is what
I call "Chinese restaurant syndrome."

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(Laughing)

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Basically, we can take up to an hour
to read the entire 40-page menu,

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despite the fact that we will very likely
order our favorite dish anyway.

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(Laughing)

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The "O" stands for "overstimulation".

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We get quickly overwhelmed
by the world around us.

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Now, I'm Bavarian
and I love our Oktoberfest,

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but I actually have to leave after an hour

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because I get completely overpowered

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by the mix of roast chicken
smells with candy floss,

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and the cacophony of songs
and the massive crowds.

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It is too much for my senses.

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The "E" stands for "empathy";
HSPs feel what others feel.

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It's like that old Hebrew saying:

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"When one cries, the other tastes salt."

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Lastly, the "S" stands for
"awareness of subtleties".

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HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor;
they can pick up on the minutest things.

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Unfortunately, that means
that they are also the kind of people

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who will wake you up at three A.M.

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to tell you that they hear
a tap dripping in the kitchen

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two floors down.

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As you can see, being an HSP is about
far more than emotional reactivity.

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I would like to address
the two big elephants in the room

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when it comes to HSP stereotypes.

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The first assumption is that HSPs
must be undercover introverts

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that wanted a fancier name.

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(Laughter)

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The fact of the matter is,
30% of HSPs are actually extroverts,

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which means we cannot park them

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in the convenient
"quiet wallflower" category,

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HSPs come in many shades of pastel.

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Secondly, because of the supposed
femininity of HSP traits,

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many assume that HSPs are women.

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It may come as a surprise that 50%
of HSPs are, in fact, men.

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In our society, men
are not supposed to be sensitive

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but aggressive and competitive.

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Sadly, the notion that men
can be both sensitive and strong

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is still too much of an alien concept.

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Now, it is a good time to tell you

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that I don't think HSPs are better
or worse than anyone else;

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they are simply different.

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I would also like to point out
that despite the rumors,

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that they are not members
of "The Special Snowflake Society",

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and also, HSPs don't have a secret
handshake to identify each other either.

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(Laughing)

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HSPs are like everyone else

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except that they experience the world

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in a more vivid way.

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And if you think that all HSPs are alike,

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that is not true;

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no two HSPs are the same.

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Every HSP has their own
unique sensitive fingerprint

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alongside other identity markers

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like gender, ethnicity, and cultural
and personal background.

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I would also like to point out
that being an HSP is not an illness,

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and it is also not a choice.

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It is a genetic trait.

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We are essentially born to be mild.

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Everytime you tell an HSP
they are "too sensitive",

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it's like telling someone with blue eyes
that their eyes are too blue.

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Chances are,

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no matter how often you tell them,

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you'll still have the same
blue eyes looking back at you.

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As a society, we have come to think
of sensitivity as a flaw;

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an unfortunate, emotional Achilles heel,

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that tempers with our ability to become
evermore optimized, detached, and robotic.

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We all too readily belittle the idealists,
the dreamers, and the creators.

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This was, however, not always the case.

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In previous centuries, philanthropists,
philosophers, poets, artists, and painters

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were all venerated for their
sensitive contribution to society.

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Who would we be without Leonardo Da Vinci
or without a Mozart?

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Without Anaïs Nin or Balzac?

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Or Mother Teresa or Ghandi?

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Our world would certainly be
a shade darker.

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Now, I'm not suggesting that all HSPs
are geniuses that shape the world.

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But, most HSPs have a genuine urge
to create connection and meaning.

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Because they feel every pain they see,

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they want to elevate the forgotten
and save the misfortunate.

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When HSPs try to hide
their sensitivity to fit in,

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we all lose.

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For would a society not be poorer

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that lacks the beating heart
of sensitive creation?

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That discredits imagination,
intuition, and empathy?

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I believe so.

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That is why I think
we need to urgently start

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to accept and appreciate sensitivity

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for the temperature regulating effect
it has on an often hot headed world.

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I believe we're all sensitive

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to different degrees
and in different ways.

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HSPs are simply
at the far end of the spectrum.

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That is why how we think and
talk about sensitivity concerns all of us.

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We need to come together as a society

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to rewrite the negative
cultural narrative about sensitivity,

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and turn it into a positive one.

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We need to erase the notion
that sensitivity is a weakness

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to finally benefit
from its many strengths.

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By doing so, we will create an environment

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where everybody is safe
to express their softer side,

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not just HSPs.

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How can we go back to creating
more positive awareness

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and acceptance for sensitivity?

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On a public level,

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I believe the two most urgent changes
need to happen in schools and workplaces.

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In schools, we need
to better train our teachers

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to recognize and understand
sensitive children.

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And for parents and teachers alike,

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the often well-meant desire
to toughen them up,

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to survive in the big,
mean world out there,

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needs to stop.

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We should not try to force sheep
into wolves' clothing.

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On a corporate level,

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the system is set up to favor
those with steel elbows.

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Because sensitive people

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typically are more soft spoken
and co-operative

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instead of competitive,

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they often get left behind
on the corporate ladder.

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To change this,

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we need to create an environment
where all personality types can flourish,

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and not just a select few.

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That is why I believe,

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for corporations,
it is in their own best interest

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to invite sensitive people to the table.

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Because without sensitives
they risk lacking innovation,

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integrity, an, ultimately, humanity.

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On a personal level,

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we can all make an impact

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simply by refraining from judging
the delicate difference

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of the sensitives around us.

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The next time you feel like
telling someone, "You're too sensitive!"

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I would ask you to stop and pause.

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Fill that pause with understanding.

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You will see that the simple act
of acceptance will uplift both of you.

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To my fellow HSPs, I say:

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Take heart and be unashamedly yourselves.

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Stop trying to toughen up.

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Stop hiding; you're beautiful as you are.

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Don't feel weird,

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because it's not you
who can be considered wrong

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but rather a world in which corruption,

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violence, and greed are the norm.

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As Krishnamurti said,

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"It is no measure of health

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to be well adjusted
to a profoundly sick society."

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When I was a little girl,

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I loved chasing butterflies in our garden

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and I admired their fragile beauty.

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I felt a deep urge to protect them,

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so I decided to trap them
in little mason jars

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filled with grass and flowers,

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to keep them safe with me in my room.

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I quickly understood:

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butterflies do not like captivity.

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This made me understand:
they did not need to be rescued,

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Their colorful contribution
to the natural ecosystem

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was exactly as it should be.

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Similarly,

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HSPs should not hide away

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from the pain of this world
in a protective incubator.

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It is their role to step up and share

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their sensitive gifts with all of us.

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I believe, as humans, we are all united

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by our experience
of sensitivity and empathy.

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Also I don't believe you need to be an HSP
to care and to make a difference.

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We are facing grave political,


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cultural, and environmental
problems today.

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Now, more than ever,

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we need the contribution
of sensitive minds and hearts

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to pave a path for troubled times ahead.

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The more we all allow ourselves


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to connect to our innate sensitive gifts,

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the more we can heal ourselves
and the planet we live on.

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Inspired by John Lennon -

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who perhaps wrote the biggest
sensitivity anthem of all times

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with "Imagine" -

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let me close by saying:

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Please, don't tell me I'm a dreamer,

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for I know I'm not the only sensitive one.

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Have faith that you'll join hands with me

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to make this world a gentler one.

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(Applause)

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Thank you.

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(Applause)