0:00:06.135,0:00:08.985
I'm a highly sensitive person.

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What is the first thing you think[br]about when I tell you that?

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That I must be shy and introverted?

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Or perhaps very emotional?

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Or maybe even that you need[br]to walk on eggshells around me?

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The common assumption[br]about highly sensitive people

0:00:25.202,0:00:28.482
is that we are somehow[br]weak and fragile creatures

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who picked a losing ticket[br]in the genetic lottery of life.

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You can see this in action[br]when you google the word "sensitive."

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You will see images[br]of toothache, irritated skin,

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(Laughing)

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wilted dandelions, and crying people.

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Sensitivity clearly has a PR problem.

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(Laughter)

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Today I want to help change that.

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Maybe by now you're wondering[br]what is it like to be highly sensitive?

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I invite you to imagine living[br]with all your senses on high alert.

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You also have a vivid inner world,

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where all of your emotions are magnified.

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Sadness is a deep sorrow,[br]and joy is pure ecstasy.

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You also care beyond reason[br]

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and empathize without limits.

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Imagine being in permanent osmosis[br]with everything around you.

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Highly sensitive people[br]often hear things like:

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"You are too sensitive,"[br]

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"Stop taking everything to heart,"

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or my favorite, "You should[br]really toughen up."

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The fundamental message is clear:

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to be highly sensitive[br]is to be highly flawed.

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I used to agree with that.

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I always thought I should[br]come with some sort of warning sign

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or a disclaimer:[br]"careful; highly sensitive."

0:02:03.009,0:02:04.549
Now, let me share with you

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a few of the perks of being[br]a highly sensitive person.

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For one, I have an intensely[br]overactive mind,

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which means it's impossible to switch off.

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That also means that insomnia[br]is my best friend.

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As you can imagine, that is particularly[br]handy the night before a TED talk.

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(Laughing)

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Also I cannot watch scary[br]or violent movies

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because the images haunt me forever

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I remember when I was a child,[br]I watched the movie "Jaws".

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It traumatized me so much

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that I was unable[br]to go near a swimming pool,

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let alone the sea, for several years.

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And, embarrassingly enough,

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I do my childhood nickname[br]of "Princess of the Pea" proud

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when it comes to traveling and hotel beds.

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The mattress should be not too hard,[br]not too soft; it has to be just right.

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My father once jokingly recommended

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that I should simply start traveling[br]with my own bed and pillow

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to avoid any future travel hassles.

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(Laughing)

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I often wondered, "what good[br]could it possibly do me to be this way?"

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Well, the gifts of sensitivity[br]slowly crept up on me.

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I've come to learn to love that[br]I deeply and easily connect with others

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and also that I have a strong intuition[br]that guides me like an infallible GPS.

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It was only at the age of 25[br]that I came across a book

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that changed my life:

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"The Highly Sensitive Person"[br]by Dr. Elaine Aron.

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I could finally put a name

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to my overwhelmingly[br]technicolor experience of life,

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and it gave me hope[br]that there were others like me.

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In this book she describes[br]highly sensitive people, or in short HSPs,

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as people who have a genetic trait[br]of sensory processing sensitivity.

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That's quite a mouthful.

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And, surprisingly, 15 - 20%[br]of the population is HSP.

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Now, she uses the wonderful acronym "DOES"[br]to summarize the core traits of HSPs.

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The "D" stands for "depth of processing".

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As HSPs, we have a phenomenal ability[br]to deeply analyze absolutely everything.

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My favorite example for this is what[br]I call "Chinese restaurant syndrome."

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(Laughing)

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Basically, we can take up to an hour[br]to read the entire 40-page menu,

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despite the fact that we will very likely[br]order our favorite dish anyway.

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(Laughing)

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The "O" stands for "overstimulation".

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We get quickly overwhelmed[br]by the world around us.

0:05:05.938,0:05:09.838
Now, I'm Bavarian[br]and I love our Oktoberfest,

0:05:09.838,0:05:12.688
but I actually have to leave after an hour

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because I get completely overpowered

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by the mix of roast chicken[br]smells with candy floss,

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and the cacophony of songs[br]and the massive crowds.

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It is too much for my senses.

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The "E" stands for "empathy";[br]HSPs feel what others feel.

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It's like that old Hebrew saying:

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"When one cries, the other tastes salt."

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Lastly, the "S" stands for[br]"awareness of subtleties".

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HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor;[br]they can pick up on the minutest things.

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Unfortunately, that means[br]that they are also the kind of people

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who will wake you up at three A.M.

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to tell you that they hear[br]a tap dripping in the kitchen

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two floors down.

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As you can see, being an HSP is about[br]far more than emotional reactivity.

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I would like to address[br]the two big elephants in the room

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when it comes to HSP stereotypes.

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The first assumption is that HSPs[br]must be undercover introverts

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that wanted a fancier name.

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(Laughter)

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The fact of the matter is,[br]30% of HSPs are actually extroverts,

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which means we cannot park them

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in the convenient[br]"quiet wallflower" category,

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HSPs come in many shades of pastel.

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Secondly, because of the supposed[br]femininity of HSP traits,

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many assume that HSPs are women.

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It may come as a surprise that 50%[br]of HSPs are, in fact, men.

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In our society, men[br]are not supposed to be sensitive

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but aggressive and competitive.

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Sadly, the notion that men[br]can be both sensitive and strong

0:07:06.214,0:07:09.240
is still too much of an alien concept.

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Now, it is a good time to tell you

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that I don't think HSPs are better[br]or worse than anyone else;

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they are simply different.

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I would also like to point out[br]that despite the rumors,

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that they are not members[br]of "The Special Snowflake Society",

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and also, HSPs don't have a secret[br]handshake to identify each other either.

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(Laughing)

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HSPs are like everyone else

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except that they experience the world

0:07:44.788,0:07:47.538
in a more vivid way.

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And if you think that all HSPs are alike,

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that is not true;

0:07:52.761,0:07:55.681
no two HSPs are the same.

0:07:55.927,0:07:59.927
Every HSP has their own[br]unique sensitive fingerprint

0:08:00.004,0:08:02.484
alongside other identity markers

0:08:02.484,0:08:07.354
like gender, ethnicity, and cultural[br]and personal background.

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I would also like to point out[br]that being an HSP is not an illness,

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and it is also not a choice.

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It is a genetic trait.

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We are essentially born to be mild.

0:08:23.646,0:08:28.176
Everytime you tell an HSP[br]they are "too sensitive",

0:08:28.756,0:08:33.556
it's like telling someone with blue eyes[br]that their eyes are too blue.

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Chances are,

0:08:35.230,0:08:37.210
no matter how often you tell them,

0:08:37.210,0:08:40.850
you'll still have the same[br]blue eyes looking back at you.

0:08:41.896,0:08:46.976
As a society, we have come to think[br]of sensitivity as a flaw;

0:08:47.361,0:08:50.321
an unfortunate, emotional Achilles heel,

0:08:50.321,0:08:56.221
that tempers with our ability to become[br]evermore optimized, detached, and robotic.

0:08:56.866,0:09:02.666
We all too readily belittle the idealists,[br]the dreamers, and the creators.

0:09:03.400,0:09:06.320
This was, however, not always the case.

0:09:06.522,0:09:13.632
In previous centuries, philanthropists,[br]philosophers, poets, artists, and painters

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were all venerated for their[br]sensitive contribution to society.

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Who would we be without Leonardo Da Vinci[br]or without a Mozart?

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Without Anaïs Nin or Balzac?

0:09:27.514,0:09:30.864
Or Mother Teresa or Ghandi?

0:09:31.328,0:09:34.898
Our world would certainly be[br]a shade darker.

0:09:35.628,0:09:40.178
Now, I'm not suggesting that all HSPs[br]are geniuses that shape the world.

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But, most HSPs have a genuine urge[br]to create connection and meaning.

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Because they feel every pain they see,

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they want to elevate the forgotten[br]and save the misfortunate.

0:09:58.049,0:10:02.239
When HSPs try to hide[br]their sensitivity to fit in,

0:10:02.730,0:10:04.340
we all lose.

0:10:04.690,0:10:07.820
For would a society not be poorer

0:10:07.820,0:10:11.050
that lacks the beating heart[br]of sensitive creation?

0:10:11.360,0:10:16.820
That discredits imagination,[br]intuition, and empathy?

0:10:17.712,0:10:18.862
I believe so.

0:10:19.694,0:10:22.481
That is why I think[br]we need to urgently start

0:10:22.481,0:10:25.341
to accept and appreciate sensitivity

0:10:25.341,0:10:29.961
for the temperature regulating effect[br]it has on an often hot headed world.

0:10:31.961,0:10:34.213
I believe we're all sensitive

0:10:34.383,0:10:37.533
to different degrees[br]and in different ways.

0:10:37.533,0:10:41.723
HSPs are simply[br]at the far end of the spectrum.

0:10:42.552,0:10:47.882
That is why how we think and[br]talk about sensitivity concerns all of us.

0:10:48.606,0:10:51.926
We need to come together as a society

0:10:51.926,0:10:56.301
to rewrite the negative[br]cultural narrative about sensitivity,

0:10:56.301,0:10:58.551
and turn it into a positive one.

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We need to erase the notion[br]that sensitivity is a weakness

0:11:03.101,0:11:06.381
to finally benefit[br]from its many strengths.

0:11:06.814,0:11:09.404
By doing so, we will create an environment

0:11:09.404,0:11:12.844
where everybody is safe[br]to express their softer side,

0:11:12.844,0:11:15.294
not just HSPs.

0:11:16.274,0:11:19.424
How can we go back to creating[br]more positive awareness

0:11:19.436,0:11:21.986
and acceptance for sensitivity?

0:11:22.162,0:11:23.342
On a public level,

0:11:23.342,0:11:28.572
I believe the two most urgent changes[br]need to happen in schools and workplaces.

0:11:29.615,0:11:32.955
In schools, we need[br]to better train our teachers

0:11:32.955,0:11:36.095
to recognize and understand[br]sensitive children.

0:11:36.304,0:11:38.794
And for parents and teachers alike,

0:11:38.794,0:11:42.064
the often well-meant desire[br]to toughen them up,

0:11:42.064,0:11:44.424
to survive in the big,[br]mean world out there,

0:11:44.424,0:11:46.194
needs to stop.

0:11:46.368,0:11:51.058
We should not try to force sheep[br]into wolves' clothing.

0:11:52.536,0:11:54.046
On a corporate level,

0:11:54.052,0:11:58.332
the system is set up to favor[br]those with steel elbows.

0:11:59.296,0:12:01.526
Because sensitive people

0:12:01.532,0:12:05.262
typically are more soft spoken[br]and co-operative

0:12:05.262,0:12:07.222
instead of competitive,

0:12:07.222,0:12:10.892
they often get left behind[br]on the corporate ladder.

0:12:11.244,0:12:12.414
To change this,

0:12:12.414,0:12:16.884
we need to create an environment[br]where all personality types can flourish,

0:12:16.884,0:12:19.951
and not just a select few.

0:12:20.209,0:12:22.175
That is why I believe,

0:12:22.175,0:12:26.085
for corporations,[br]it is in their own best interest

0:12:26.085,0:12:29.235
to invite sensitive people to the table.

0:12:29.235,0:12:33.395
Because without sensitives[br]they risk lacking innovation,

0:12:33.805,0:12:37.865
integrity, an, ultimately, humanity.

0:12:38.927,0:12:40.507
On a personal level,

0:12:40.507,0:12:42.077
we can all make an impact

0:12:42.485,0:12:46.565
simply by refraining from judging[br]the delicate difference

0:12:46.565,0:12:48.795
of the sensitives around us.

0:12:49.125,0:12:53.375
The next time you feel like[br]telling someone, "You're too sensitive!"

0:12:54.225,0:12:57.835
I would ask you to stop and pause.

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Fill that pause with understanding.

0:13:01.837,0:13:07.637
You will see that the simple act[br]of acceptance will uplift both of you.

0:13:08.635,0:13:11.465
To my fellow HSPs, I say:

0:13:11.465,0:13:15.470
Take heart and be unashamedly yourselves.

0:13:15.514,0:13:18.004
Stop trying to toughen up.

0:13:18.218,0:13:22.448
Stop hiding; you're beautiful as you are.

0:13:23.164,0:13:24.794
Don't feel weird,

0:13:24.794,0:13:27.831
because it's not you[br]who can be considered wrong

0:13:27.831,0:13:30.671
but rather a world in which corruption,

0:13:30.671,0:13:33.491
violence, and greed are the norm.

0:13:33.972,0:13:35.882
As Krishnamurti said,

0:13:36.062,0:13:37.973
"It is no measure of health

0:13:38.393,0:13:42.993
to be well adjusted[br]to a profoundly sick society."

0:13:44.053,0:13:45.853
When I was a little girl,

0:13:45.853,0:13:49.513
I loved chasing butterflies in our garden

0:13:49.513,0:13:52.093
and I admired their fragile beauty.

0:13:52.284,0:13:54.794
I felt a deep urge to protect them,

0:13:54.794,0:13:58.224
so I decided to trap them[br]in little mason jars

0:13:58.224,0:14:00.394
filled with grass and flowers,

0:14:00.394,0:14:03.644
to keep them safe with me in my room.

0:14:03.669,0:14:05.806
I quickly understood:

0:14:05.806,0:14:08.866
butterflies do not like captivity.

0:14:10.166,0:14:14.756
This made me understand:[br]they did not need to be rescued,

0:14:14.797,0:14:18.077
Their colorful contribution[br]to the natural ecosystem

0:14:18.077,0:14:20.327
was exactly as it should be.

0:14:20.672,0:14:21.982
Similarly,

0:14:21.982,0:14:24.187
HSPs should not hide away

0:14:24.187,0:14:27.377
from the pain of this world[br]in a protective incubator.

0:14:27.827,0:14:30.768
It is their role to step up and share

0:14:30.768,0:14:33.458
their sensitive gifts with all of us.

0:14:34.608,0:14:38.264
I believe, as humans, we are all united

0:14:38.264,0:14:43.034
by our experience[br]of sensitivity and empathy.

0:14:43.664,0:14:49.654
Also I don't believe you need to be an HSP[br]to care and to make a difference.

0:14:50.585,0:14:54.313
We are facing grave political,[br]

0:14:54.313,0:14:57.563
cultural, and environmental[br]problems today.

0:14:58.093,0:15:00.103
Now, more than ever,

0:15:00.103,0:15:04.413
we need the contribution[br]of sensitive minds and hearts

0:15:04.413,0:15:07.853
to pave a path for troubled times ahead.

0:15:07.853,0:15:10.359
The more we all allow ourselves[br]

0:15:10.359,0:15:13.949
to connect to our innate sensitive gifts,

0:15:14.269,0:15:18.234
the more we can heal ourselves[br]and the planet we live on.

0:15:19.313,0:15:21.073
Inspired by John Lennon -

0:15:21.320,0:15:25.134
who perhaps wrote the biggest[br]sensitivity anthem of all times

0:15:25.134,0:15:27.214
with "Imagine" -

0:15:27.434,0:15:29.444
let me close by saying:

0:15:29.444,0:15:33.337
Please, don't tell me I'm a dreamer,

0:15:33.777,0:15:37.777
for I know I'm not the only sensitive one.

0:15:37.919,0:15:41.497
Have faith that you'll join hands with me

0:15:41.497,0:15:44.767
to make this world a gentler one.

0:15:44.767,0:15:47.617
(Applause)

0:15:47.617,0:15:48.587
Thank you.

0:15:48.587,0:15:50.597
(Applause)