WEBVTT

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Men 6 yoshligimda

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sovg'alar oldim.

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Mening boshlang’ich sinf o’qituvchimda
shunday hayrotomuz g’oya tug'ildi.

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U bizni sov’g’alar olish
hissiyotini tuyishimiz bilan birga

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bir-birimizni maqtashning yaxshi
tomonini o’rganishimizni istadi.

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Ustozim barchamizni sinfxona 
oldiga jamladi, hammamizga

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sovg’alar sotib olib, ularni 
burchakka terib qo’ygan edi.

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Va u:
"Shu yerda turib

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bir-birimizni yaxshi so’zlar
bilan siylasak-chi?” dedi.

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O’z ismingizni eshitsangiz,

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sovg’angizni olishga borasiz, 
so’ng o’tirasiz.

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Ajoyib g’oya, to’g’rimi?

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Nima o'xshamasligi
mumkin?

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Xo’sh, dastlab biz 40 kishi edik,

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va men har gal kimnidir ismini
eshitishim bilan

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shodligimdan uree deb yuborardim.

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So’ng 20 kishi qoldi,

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keyin 10 kishi,

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undan keyin 5 kishi…

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nihoyat 3 kishi.

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Va ulardan biri men edim.

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Yoqimli so’zlar
ulashish to’xtadi.

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Men o’sha daqiqada yig’layotgan edim.

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Ustozning hafsalasi pir bo’lib,

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“Kimdir bu insonlar haqida ham 
biror iliq so’z aytadimi?”

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“Hech kim? Mayli, sovg’angizni
olingda, joyingizga o'tiring.

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O’zingizni yaxshi tuting,

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kelasi yil kimdir siz haqda
iliq so’z aytar.

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(Kulgu)

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Tasvirlab berishimdan

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buni juda yaxshi esga olishimni
bilgandirsiz.

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(Kulgu)

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Biroq o’sha kuni kim o’zini yomonroq his

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qilganini bilmayman.
Menmi yoki o’qituvchi?

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U jamoani shakllantirish jarayonini
3 nafar 6 yasharlik bolalar

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uchun hajviy ko’rsatuvga
aylantirganini tushungandir.

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Biroq bu kulgili emasdi.

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Televizorda odamlar ustidan
hazil qilishsa,

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miriqib kulardingiz.

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Bu kun haqida biror kulgili narsani

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eslolmayman.
Bu mening bir ko’rinishim edi

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va bu vaziyatga, omma oldida
rad etilishga qayta duch kelmaslik uchun

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o’limga ham tayyor edim.

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Bu bir ko’rinishim.

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Shiddatli sakkiz yildan so’ng,

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shaxrimizga—Beijing, Xitoyga Bill Geyts

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nutq so’zlash uchun

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tashrif buyurdi

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va men uning nutqini eshitdim.

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Bu kishi menga yoqib qoldi.

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Endi men nima qilishni istashimni
bilaman, deb o’yladim.

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O’sha kecha oilamga shunday xat yozdim

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"25 yoshimgacha

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dunyodagi eng katta kompaniyani quraman

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va bu kompaniya Microsoftni
sotib oladi."

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Men dunyoni zabt etish g’oyasiga
tamoman yopishib oldim.

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dominantlik, to’g’rimi?

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buni ichimdan to’qiganim yo’q, 
o’sha xatni yozgandim.

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Mana o’sha xat.

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Buni o’qib chiqishingiz shart emas

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Qolaversa, bu yomon husnixat,
lekin ba’zi muhim so’zlarni belgilab

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qo’ydim.
Tushunib oldiz.

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Shunday qilib ...

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bu boshqa bir ko'rinishim edi.

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dunyoni zabt etuvchi.

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Xo’sh, ikki yildan so’ng

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menga Amerikaga borish 
imkoniyati taqdim etildi.

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Darhol rozi bo’ldim,

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chunki u yerda Bill Geyts yashaydi,
to’g’rimi?

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(Kulgu)

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Bu biznesdagi ilk sayohatim, deb o’yladim.

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So’ng, keyingi shiddatli 14 yil.

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30 yoshda edim.

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Yo’q, o’sha kompaniyani qurmadim.

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Hatto boshladim ham.

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Men o'zi Fortune 500 kompaniyalaridan
birida marketing menejer bo'lib ishlardim.

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Bir yerda turib qolganimni bildim.

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Bir yerda qotib qoldim.

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Nega?

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O’sha xatni yozgan 14 yoshli bola qani?

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Bunga sabab uning urinib

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ko’rmaganligi emas.
Bunga sabab har safar menda yangi g'oya

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uyg’onganida, biror 
yangi narsaga urinib

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ko’rishni istaganimda,

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hatto ishda ham taklif berishni

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istardim guruhda odamlar orasida
o’z fikrimni bildirishni istardim

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o’sha 14 yashar va 6 yashar o’rtasida

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doimiy kurash mavjudligini his qildim.

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Biri dunyoni zabt etishni,

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o’zgarish qilishni
istasa,

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boshqa biri esa rad javobidan qo’rqadi.

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Va har gal o’sha 6 yashar yutib keldi.

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Bu qo’rquv hatto o’z kompaniyamni
yaratganimda ham meni tark etmadi.

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Ha, 30 yoshligimda o’z kompaniyamga
ega bo’ldim. Agar Bill Geyts

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bo’lishni xohlasangiz,

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ertami-kechmi boshlashingiz kerak
tog’rimi?

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Tadbirkorlik faoliyatim davomida

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sarmoya kiritish imkoniyatini
qo'lga kiritdim,

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keyinroq esa rad etildim.

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Bu rad javobi menga azob berdi.

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Shunchalik qattiq azoblandimki, shundayoq
hammasidan voz kechishni istadim.

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Ammo sal o’tib o’yladim.

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Bill Geyts oddiygina sarmoya kiritishdan 
rad etilish tufayli ortga chekinardimi?

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Har qanday muvaffaqiyatli tadbirkor
shu tariqa chekinadimi?

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Aslo.

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Ana shunda men buni anglab yetdim.

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Ok, yaxshi kompaniya qura olaman.

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Yaxshi jamoa yoki yaxshi
mahsulot yaratishim

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mumkin, biroq shu narsa aniqki,

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men yaxshi lider bo’lishim kerak.

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Yaxshi inson bo’lishim zarur.

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Men buyog’iga o’sha 6 yashar hayotimda
hukmronlik qilishiga ortiq qo’yib

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bermayman.
Uni o’z joyiga qaytarishim kerak.

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Shunday qilib onlayn ko’mak
izlay boshladim.

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Google mening do’stim edi.

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(Kulgu)

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“Qanday qilib rad etilish qo’rquvini
yengga olaman?”

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deb qidiruv berdim. Qo’rquv va azoblar
qanday paydo bo’lishi

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haqidagi bir qancha psixologik
maqolalarga ko’zim tushdi.

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So’ng bir qancha “Har narsani o’zingga
olaverma, shunchaki yengib o’t”

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shunga o’xshash ruhlantiruvchi
maqolalarni ko’rdim.

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Buni kim ham bilmaydi?

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Biroq nega hanuz qo’rquvdaman?

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So’ngra omadim kelib shu vebsaytni topdim.

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U radetilishterapiyasi.com deb nomlangan.

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(Kulgu)

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"Rad etilish Terapiyasi" bu kanadalik
tadbirkor tomonidan yaratilgan o’yin.

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Uning ismi Jeyson Komeli.

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Bu g’oyaning mag’zi shunday: siz 30 kun
davomida rad etilish uchun biror narsa

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izlaysiz har kuni biror 
narsada rad etilasiz

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va oqibatda bu azob sizga
begona bo’ladi.

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Bu g’oya menga yoqib tushdi.

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(Kulgu)

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O’zimga shunday dedim,
“Bilasanmi? Men buni

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qilmoqchiman va o'zim rad etilish
hissini 100 kun tuymoqchiman.

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Rad javobini olish uchun
o’z g’oyalarimni yaratdim

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va undan video blog tayyorladim.

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Mana bu mening ishlarim.

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Blog shunday ko’rinishda edi.

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Birinchi kun ...

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(Kulgu)

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Notanish kishidan 100 dollar qarz olish.

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Ishlayotgan joyimga bordim.

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Zinadan tushdim va

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stol ortida o’tirgan gavdali 
kishini ko’rdim.

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U qo’riqchiga o’xshab ko’rindi.

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Shu sababdan unga yaqinlashdim.

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Yurib boryapman

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va bu umrimdagi eng uzun yo’l edi,
bo'ynimning

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orqa qismidagi
tuklar tik holatda,

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terlayotgandim, yuragim
esa gupirlab urardi.

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Borib shunday dedim

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“Hoy, janob 100 dollar
qarz bera olasizmi?”

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(Kulgu)

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U menga qarab “Yo’q.”

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“Nega?” dedi

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Men esa “Yo’qmi? Kechirasiz.” dedim.
So'ng esa

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orqamga o’girilib,
qochib qoldim.

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(Kulgu)

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Juda xijolat tortdim.

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O’zimni videoga olgandim,

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o’sha kecha o’zimni rad javobi
olganimni ko’rayotgandim.

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O’zimni qanchalik qo’rquvga tushganimni

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ko'rdim. Men xuddi “The 6th Sense”
filmidagi boladek

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edim.
Men arvohlarni ko’rdim.

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Keyin o’sha kishini ko’rdim.

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Bilasizmi, u unchalik
qo’rqinchli emasdi

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U to’lachadan kelgan, yoqimtoy yigit edi.

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va u hatto mendan “Nega?” deb so’radi.

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Rostdan ham, u buni tushuntirib
berishimni so’radi.

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Ko’p narsalar aytishim
mumkin edi.

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Tushuntirib berishim mumkin edi.
U bilan kelishib

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olishim mumkin edi.
Bularning

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birortasini qilmadim.
Qo’limdan

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kelgani yugurish bo'ldi.
Bu xuddi hayotimning mikrodunyosiga

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o’xshashini his qildim.
Har gal rad etilishimni his

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qildimmi, oyog’imni
qo’limga olib yuguraman.

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Bilasizmi nima?

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Keyingi safar nima bo’lishidan qat’iy

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nazar, hech qayerga ketmayman.

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Vaziyatni qo’lga olaman.

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2-kun: “Burger to’ldirish”
imkonini so’rash

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(Kulgu)

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Burger oshxonasiga borib,
tushlikni yeb oldim

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va kassir oldiga borib, shunday dedim:

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Salom,
burger to’ldirib berasizmi?

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(Kulgu)

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U chalkashib ketdi.
“Burger to’ldirish nima degani?”

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(Kulgu)

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Shunday dedim “Xo’sh, bu xuddi ichimlik
to’ldirib berishga o’xshaydi, lekin

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o’rniga burger”
U: “Uzr, bizda burger to’ldirishning

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imkoni yo’q” dedi.
(Kulgu)

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Ana shunda rad javobini oldim. Ketib
qolsam bo’lardi, biroq bunday qilmadim.

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Shunday dedim, “Burgerlaring menga yoqadi,

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oshxonangiz ham chakkimas,

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burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini
berganlaringda

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sizlarni yanada
yaxshi

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ko'rardim.
(Kulgu)

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U esa “Mayli, menejerimga buni 
aytaman, ehtimol

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bunday imkoniyat berilar,
ammo bugun qila olmaymiz” dedi.

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Keyin ketdim.

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Ha aytgancha, menimcha ular hech qachon

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burger to’ldirish imkoniyatini 
joriy etmagan.

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(Kulgu)

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Menimcha, ular hali ham

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ishlamoqda. Biroq, ilk marotaba men
his etgan hayot-mamot tuyg’usi

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endi yo’q,

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negaki vaziyatni o’z qo’limga oldim,

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chunki ketib qolmadim.

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O’zimga “Ajoyib, men allaqachon
buni o’rganyapman.

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Zo’r” dedim.
So'ng 3-kun:

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Olimpiya donutlariga ega bo’lish.

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Ana shunda hayotim 
butunlay o’zgarib ketdi.

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Krispi Kremega bordim.

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U Qo’shma Shtatlarning

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janubi-sharqiy qismida joylashgan
donutlar do’koni edi.

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Ular bu yerda ham borligiga
ishonchim

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komil.
Ichkariga kirib:

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“Olimpiya simvollariga o’xshash
donut tayyorlab bera olasizmi?

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Oddiy qilib aytganda, 5 ta
donutni birlashtirasiz…” dedim.

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Ularning bunga rozi bo’lmaydi,
to’g’rimi?

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Donut tayyorlovchi meni o’ta
jiddiy qabul qildi.

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U qo’liga qog’oz olib,

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uning ranglari va halqalarini
yoza boshladi.

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“Buni qanday tayyorlashim mumkin?” dedi.

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15 daqiqadan so’ng esa,

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u qo’lida Olimpiya halqalariga o’xshash
quti bilan chiqdi.

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Juda hayajonda edim.

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Bunga ishona olmasdim.

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Men o’sha kun olgan video esa Youtubeda
besh million kuzatuvchiga ega bo’ldi.

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Dunyo ham bunga ishona olmayotgan edi.

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Shu sababdan men gazetalar,
tok-shoular, barchasining

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mavzusiga aylandim.

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Shu tariqa mashhur bo’ldim.

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Ko’plab insonlar email orqali:
“Qilayotgan

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ishlaringiz hayratlanarli”
deb yoza boshlashdi.

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Biroq bilasizmi, shon-shuhrat va
mashhurlik menga hech narsa bermadi.

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Mening chin istagim o’zimni o’rganish

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va o’zgartirish edi.

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Shu tariqa men 100 kunlik rad etilishni

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o’yin maydoniga, tadqiqot

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loyihasiga aylantirdim.
Nima o'rgana olishim

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mumkinligini ko’rmoqchi edim.

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Natijada ko’p narsalar o'rgandim.

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Ko’plab sirlardan
boxabar bo'ldim.

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Misol uchun, shunga amin
bo’ldimki, agar men chekinmasam,

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rad javobini olsm,
"yo'q"ni

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“ha” ga aylantira
olishim mumkin.

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Sehrli so’z esa, “nega?”

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Bir kuni qo’limda gul bilan bir notanish
kishining uyiga bordim, eshikni

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taqillatib, shunday dedim:

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shu gulni sizning tomorqangizda
eksam bo’ladimi?

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U esa “Yo’q” dedi.
Eshikni yopishidan

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oldin unga shunday dedim

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“Negaligini bilsam bo’ladimi?

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U “Tomorqaga ekkan hamma narsani

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payhon qilib yuboradigan itim bor.” dedi.
Gulingiz

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isrof bo’lishini xohlamayman.

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Gul ekmoqchi bo’lsangiz, ko’chani
kesib o’tib Konniga ayting.

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U gullarni yoqtiradi.

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Xuddi shunday qildim.

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Ko’chani kesib o’tib,
Konnining eshigini

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qoqdim. U meni ko’rib
quvonib ketdi.

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Va yarim soatdan so’ng

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Konnining tomorqasida shu gul
paydo bo’ldi.

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Hozir uning yaxshiroqligiga

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ishonchim komil.
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Biroq, ilk rad etilishdayoq ortga
chekinganimda

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U kishi menga ishonmadi,

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negaki men ahmoqman,

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tuzuk kiyinmaganligim,

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yaxshi ko’rinishda bo’lmaganim
uchun deb o’ylardim.

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Bular sababli emas.
Sababi

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men taklif etgan narsa
uning istagi bilan mos kelmagan-

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-ligida edi.
U menga ishonch bildirib, kelishuv

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qoidalariga asosan yo'l ko'rsatdi.

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Men yo’nalishni o’zgartirdim.

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Kunlardan bir kun

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so’zlarim bilan ha javobini
olish imkoniyatini

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oshirish mumkinligini bilib oldim.

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Misol uchun bir kuni Starbucksga bordim

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va menejerdan “Starbucks mezboni
bo’lsam maylimi? deb so'radim.

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U shunday ohangda “Starbaks mezboni,
u nima degani?

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“Wallmart mezbonlarini bilasizmi?” dedim.

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Bilasizmi, ular do’konga kirishingizdan
oldin sizga salom beradi va

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aslida hech narsa
o’g’irlamasligingizga ishonch

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hosil qilishadi? Starbucks xaridorlariga
Wallmart ruhini ulashaman.

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Xo’sh, bu yaxshi fikrligiga ishonchim
komil emas.

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Aslida, bu yaxshimasligini aniq bilaman.

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U esa qarab, “Ha”

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Uning ismi Erik,

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“Bilmasam.” dedi.
U meni shu

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tariqa tinglayotgan edi. “Bilmasam.”

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Undan “Bu g’alatimi?”deb so’radim.

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U esa “Bu judayam g’alati.” dedi.

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Biroq shuni aytishi bilan uning
munosabati butunlay o’zgardi.

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Aftidan, u barcha shubhalarini
chetga surib qo’ydi.

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U “Mezbon bo’lishingiz mumkin, lekin

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o’ta g’alati tuyulmasin”

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dedi.
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Keyin 1 soat davomida Starbucksga
mezbonlik qildim.

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Tashrif buyurgan har bir xaridorga

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salom berib, dam olish kuni
zavqini ulashdim.

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Ha aytgancha, sizning qaysi kasbga
yo’nalganligingizni

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bilmayman, mezbonlik

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qilmang.
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Bu o’ta zerikarli edi.

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Bu qo’limdan kelishini angladim,
chunki men “Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’radim.

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Men undagi shubhani tilga oldim.

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“Bu g’alatimi?” deb so’rashim g’alati
kishi emasligimni anglatadi.

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Bu aslida xuddi unga o’xshab
fikrlayotganimni, bunga

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g’alati narsa sifatida
qarayotganimni anglatadi.

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Qayta-qayta shunga amin

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bo'ldimki, savol so’rashdan
oldin odamlarda mavjud bo’lishi mumkin

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bo'lgan shubhani aytganimda, ularning

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ishonchini qozondim.

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Menga ha deb javobini berish ehtimolli

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oshdi. So’rash orqali hayotimdagi
orzularga erishishim mumkinligiga

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amin bo’ldim..

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Mening to’rt avlodim o’qituvchilik qilgan,

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buvim menga doim shunday der edilar,

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“Jia, seni qo’lingdan hamma narsa keladi,

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lekin o’qituvchi bo’lsang zo’r bo’lardi”

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Biroq men tadbirkor bo’lishni istagandim,

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o'qituvchi bo'lmadim. Lekin ta’lim
berish bir umrlik orzuyim edi.

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“Kollejda dars berishni

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so’rab ko’rsamchi?” dedim.
O'sha paytlar

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Ostinda yashardim.
Shu sabab

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Ostindagi Texas Universitetiga borib

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professor eshigini qoqdim,
“Talabalaringizga dars o’tsam bo’ladimi?”

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deb so'radim. 1-2 urinishda
hech narsaga erishmadim.

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Chekinmay, davom ettirdim.

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Va uchinchi urinishimda professorni
lol qoldirdim.

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U “Hali hech kim bunday qilmagan” dedi.

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Slaydlarim va darslarim bilan
tayyorlanib kelar edim.

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U “Qoyil, bularni ishlata olaman.
Ikki oydan

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so’ng kelsangizchi? Sizni o’quv
dasturimga joylashtiraman.” dedi.

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Va ikki oydan so’ng, men o’qita boshladim.

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Bu men. Ehtimol, meni ko’ra olmaysiz.
Yomon surat.

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Bilasizmi, ba’zida yorug’lik
sizni rad etadi?

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Lekin...

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Darsni tugatib, u yerdan ko’zimda
yosh bilan chiqdim.

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Chunki, bor yog’i so'rash

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orqali hayotdagi orzularimga erishish
mumkinligi haqida o’yladim.

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Men har doim bularning barchasini
bajarishim kerak,

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ya’ni eng zo’r tadbirkor bo’lishim yoki
o’qitish uchun PhD olishim kerak deb

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o'ylardim.
Yo’q, men shunchaki

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so'radim va o’qita oldim.

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Sizga yaxshi ko’rinmayotgan ushbu rasmda

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Martin Lyuter King 
iqtibosini keltirgandim.

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Nega deysizmi? Chunki o’z tadqiqotimda 
shunga amin bo’ldimki, dunyoni o'zgartira

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oladigan, yashash tarzimiz va
fikrlash tarzimizni

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o’zgartiruvchi insonlar ilk va qattiq
tanqidga uchragan insonlar bo’lishgan.

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Martin Lyuter King,

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Mahatma Gandi, Nelson Mandela
kabi insonlar

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va hatto Iso Masih ham.

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Bu insonlar ularning aslida qanday
insonligini rad javobi aniqlashiga

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qo'yib bermadi. Rad etilishdan so‘ng unga
bildirgan munosabati ularning aslida

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kimligini aniqlashga
qo'yib berdi

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Ular rad etilishga iliq qarashgan.
Rad etilishdan saboq olish uchun

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bu insonlar kabi bo'lish

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shart emas va mening vaziyatimda
rad javobi

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menga tekkan la'nat,

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mening qo’rquvim edi. U meni butun umr
ta’qib etdi, men esa undan qochayotgandim.

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So’ng men u bilan
kelishishni boshlab

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uni hayotimdagi eng katta 
tuhfaga aylantirdim.

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Rad etilish qanday qilib imkoniyatga ayla-
nishi mumkinligi haqda o’rgata boshladim.

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Insonlarga rad etilish qo’rquvini yengish

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uchun yordam berishda blogimdan,
nutq va

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yaqinda chop etilgan kitobdan, hatto bu
uchun hozirda yaratayotgan texnologiyamdan

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foydalanaman.
Hayotda rad etilganda,

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keyingi safar qiyinchilik yoki

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mag’lubiyatga uchraganingizda,
uning

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imkoniyatlari haqida o’ylab ko’ring.

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Chekinmang.
Agar u bilan

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iliqlik o’rnatsangiz,

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u sizning ham tuhfangizga
aylanishi mumkin.

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Rahmat.

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