WEBVTT 00:00:00.760 --> 00:00:02.376 When I was six years old, 00:00:02.400 --> 00:00:03.640 I received my gifts. 00:00:04.320 --> 00:00:07.776 My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. 00:00:07.800 --> 00:00:11.136 She wanted us to experience receiving gifts, 00:00:11.160 --> 00:00:15.160 but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. 00:00:15.640 --> 00:00:18.536 So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom, 00:00:18.560 --> 00:00:21.536 and she bought all of us gifts, and stacked them in the corner. 00:00:21.560 --> 00:00:22.776 And she said, 00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:25.456 "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? 00:00:25.480 --> 00:00:27.056 If you hear your name called, 00:00:27.080 --> 00:00:29.280 go and pick up your gift and sit down." 00:00:30.520 --> 00:00:32.000 What a wonderful idea, right? 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:34.096 What could go wrong? NOTE Paragraph 00:00:34.120 --> 00:00:35.640 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:36.400 --> 00:00:38.456 Well, there were 40 of us to start with, 00:00:38.480 --> 00:00:40.936 and every time I heard someone's name called, 00:00:40.960 --> 00:00:42.760 I would give out the heartiest cheer. 00:00:43.280 --> 00:00:45.776 And then there were 20 people left, 00:00:45.800 --> 00:00:47.576 and 10 people left, 00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:48.960 and five left ... 00:00:49.560 --> 00:00:50.936 and three left. 00:00:50.960 --> 00:00:52.160 And I was one of them. 00:00:52.720 --> 00:00:54.320 And the compliments stopped. 00:00:55.560 --> 00:00:57.600 Well, at that moment, I was crying. 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:00.616 And the teacher was freaking out. 00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:04.296 She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?" NOTE Paragraph 00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:05.536 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:05.560 --> 00:01:08.536 "No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down. 00:01:08.560 --> 00:01:09.816 So behave next year -- 00:01:09.840 --> 00:01:11.936 someone might say something nice about you." NOTE Paragraph 00:01:11.960 --> 00:01:13.720 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:14.520 --> 00:01:16.136 Well, as I'm describing this you, 00:01:16.160 --> 00:01:18.536 you probably know I remember this really well. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:20.160 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:20.800 --> 00:01:22.896 But I don't know who felt worse that day. 00:01:22.920 --> 00:01:25.096 Was it me, or the teacher? 00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:28.256 She must have realized that she turned a team-building event 00:01:28.280 --> 00:01:31.080 into a public roast for three six-year-olds. 00:01:31.800 --> 00:01:33.056 And without the humor. 00:01:33.080 --> 00:01:35.416 You know, when you see people get roasted on TV, 00:01:35.440 --> 00:01:36.656 it was funny. 00:01:36.680 --> 00:01:38.538 There was nothing funny about that day. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:39.320 --> 00:01:42.336 So that was one version of me, 00:01:42.360 --> 00:01:45.856 and I would die to avoid being in that situation again -- 00:01:45.880 --> 00:01:47.760 to get rejected in public again. 00:01:48.440 --> 00:01:49.896 That's one version. 00:01:49.920 --> 00:01:52.376 Then fast-forward eight years. 00:01:52.400 --> 00:01:54.376 Bill Gates came to my hometown -- 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:55.616 Beijing, China -- 00:01:55.640 --> 00:01:56.856 to speak, 00:01:56.880 --> 00:01:58.616 and I saw his message. 00:01:58.640 --> 00:02:00.936 I fell in love with that guy. 00:02:00.960 --> 00:02:03.856 I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now. 00:02:03.880 --> 00:02:06.016 That night I wrote a letter to my family 00:02:06.040 --> 00:02:08.336 telling them: "By age 25, 00:02:08.360 --> 00:02:10.976 I will build the biggest company in the world, 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:12.936 and that company will buy Microsoft." NOTE Paragraph 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:14.856 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:14.880 --> 00:02:17.496 I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world -- 00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:18.720 domination, right? 00:02:19.160 --> 00:02:21.976 And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter. 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.336 And here it is -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:23.360 --> 00:02:25.336 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:27.176 You don't have to read this through -- NOTE Paragraph 00:02:27.200 --> 00:02:28.976 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:32.240 This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words. 00:02:33.600 --> 00:02:34.816 You get the idea. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:34.840 --> 00:02:36.616 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:36.640 --> 00:02:37.840 So ... 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:41.296 that was another version of me: 00:02:41.320 --> 00:02:43.000 one who will conquer the world. 00:02:43.880 --> 00:02:45.336 Well, then two years later, 00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:49.296 I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States. 00:02:49.320 --> 00:02:50.896 I jumped on it, 00:02:50.920 --> 00:02:53.136 because that was where Bill Gates lived, right? NOTE Paragraph 00:02:53.160 --> 00:02:54.376 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:02:54.400 --> 00:02:57.040 I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey. 00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:59.856 Then, fast-forward another 14 years. 00:02:59.880 --> 00:03:01.296 I was 30. 00:03:01.320 --> 00:03:03.696 Nope, I didn't build that company. 00:03:03.720 --> 00:03:05.256 I didn't even start. 00:03:05.280 --> 00:03:09.256 I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company. 00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:10.896 And I felt I was stuck; 00:03:10.920 --> 00:03:12.120 I was stagnant. 00:03:13.080 --> 00:03:14.296 Why is that? 00:03:14.320 --> 00:03:16.560 Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter? 00:03:17.480 --> 00:03:18.957 It's not because he didn't try. 00:03:19.480 --> 00:03:22.536 It's because every time I had a new idea, 00:03:22.560 --> 00:03:24.536 every time I wanted to try something new, 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:25.776 even at work -- 00:03:25.800 --> 00:03:27.536 I wanted to make a proposal, 00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:31.096 I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group -- 00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:32.936 I felt there was this constant battle 00:03:32.960 --> 00:03:35.736 between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. 00:03:35.760 --> 00:03:37.896 One wanted to conquer the world -- 00:03:37.920 --> 00:03:39.136 make a difference -- 00:03:39.160 --> 00:03:41.280 another was afraid of rejection. 00:03:41.960 --> 00:03:44.480 And every time that six-year-old won. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:45.760 --> 00:03:49.736 And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. 00:03:49.760 --> 00:03:52.896 I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 -- 00:03:52.920 --> 00:03:54.336 if you want to be Bill Gates, 00:03:54.360 --> 00:03:56.400 you've got to start sooner or later, right? 00:03:57.080 --> 00:03:59.616 When I was an entrepreneur, 00:03:59.640 --> 00:04:02.536 I was presented with an investment opportunity, 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:04.360 and then I was turned down. 00:04:05.040 --> 00:04:06.776 And that rejection hurt me. 00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.400 It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there. 00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:12.496 But then I thought, 00:04:12.520 --> 00:04:16.360 hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection? 00:04:16.920 --> 00:04:19.776 Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that? 00:04:19.800 --> 00:04:21.176 No way. 00:04:21.200 --> 00:04:23.176 And this is where it clicked for me. 00:04:23.200 --> 00:04:25.016 OK, I can build a better company. 00:04:25.040 --> 00:04:27.256 I can build a better team or better product, 00:04:27.280 --> 00:04:28.816 but one thing for sure: 00:04:28.840 --> 00:04:30.696 I've got to be a better leader. 00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:32.240 I've got to be a better person. 00:04:32.720 --> 00:04:36.096 I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. 00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:38.200 I have to put him back to his place. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:41.416 So this is where I went online and looked for help. 00:04:41.440 --> 00:04:42.696 Google was my friend. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:43.856 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:04:43.880 --> 00:04:46.440 I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?" 00:04:46.960 --> 00:04:49.816 I came up with a bunch of psychology articles 00:04:49.840 --> 00:04:52.696 about where the fear and pain are coming from. 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:56.016 Then I came up with a bunch of "Ra-ra" inspirational articles 00:04:56.040 --> 00:04:58.421 about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it." 00:04:59.200 --> 00:05:00.856 Who doesn't know that? NOTE Paragraph 00:05:00.880 --> 00:05:02.456 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:04.616 But why was I still so scared? 00:05:04.640 --> 00:05:06.656 Then I found this website by luck. 00:05:06.680 --> 00:05:09.056 It's called rejectiontherapy.com. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:09.080 --> 00:05:11.616 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:11.640 --> 00:05:15.576 "Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur. 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:17.296 His name is Jason Comely. 00:05:17.320 --> 00:05:22.416 And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, 00:05:22.440 --> 00:05:24.696 and every day get rejected at something, 00:05:24.720 --> 00:05:28.240 and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. 00:05:29.200 --> 00:05:30.896 And I loved that idea. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:30.920 --> 00:05:32.456 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:32.480 --> 00:05:34.616 I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this. 00:05:34.640 --> 00:05:37.656 And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." 00:05:37.680 --> 00:05:40.096 And I came up with my own rejection ideas 00:05:40.120 --> 00:05:42.600 and I made a video blog out of it. 00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:45.536 And so here's what I did. 00:05:45.560 --> 00:05:48.176 This is what the blog looked like. 00:05:48.200 --> 00:05:49.400 Day One ... NOTE Paragraph 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:51.296 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:05:51.320 --> 00:05:54.560 Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. 00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:58.456 So this is where I went to where I was working. 00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:00.216 I came downstairs 00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:02.456 and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. 00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:04.216 He looked like a security guard. 00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:05.776 So I just approached him. 00:06:05.800 --> 00:06:07.536 And I was just walking 00:06:07.560 --> 00:06:09.896 and that was the longest walk of my life -- 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.056 just hair on the back of my neck standing up, 00:06:12.080 --> 00:06:14.536 I was sweating and my heart was pounding. 00:06:14.560 --> 00:06:15.776 And I got there and said, 00:06:15.800 --> 00:06:18.456 "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?" NOTE Paragraph 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:19.816 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:19.840 --> 00:06:21.640 And he looked up, he's like, "No." 00:06:22.640 --> 00:06:23.840 "Why?" 00:06:24.200 --> 00:06:26.496 And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." 00:06:26.520 --> 00:06:28.235 Then I turned around and I just ran. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:28.259 --> 00:06:29.619 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:30.960 --> 00:06:32.696 I felt so embarrassed. 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:34.176 But because I filmed myself -- 00:06:34.200 --> 00:06:37.336 so that night I was watching myself getting rejected, 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:39.456 I just saw how scared I was. 00:06:39.480 --> 00:06:41.936 I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense." 00:06:41.960 --> 00:06:43.376 I saw dead people. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:43.400 --> 00:06:45.016 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:46.576 But then I saw this guy. 00:06:46.600 --> 00:06:48.496 You know, he wasn't that menacing. 00:06:48.520 --> 00:06:50.896 He was a chubby, loveable guy, 00:06:50.920 --> 00:06:54.376 and he even asked me, "Why?" 00:06:54.400 --> 00:06:56.816 In fact, he invited me to explain myself. 00:06:56.840 --> 00:06:58.416 And I could've said many things. 00:06:58.440 --> 00:07:00.736 I could've explained, I could've negotiated. 00:07:00.760 --> 00:07:02.200 I didn't do any of that. 00:07:02.680 --> 00:07:04.200 All I did was run. 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:08.320 I felt, wow, this is like the microcosm of my life. 00:07:08.920 --> 00:07:11.456 Every time I felt the slightest rejection, 00:07:11.480 --> 00:07:13.616 I would just run as fast as I could. 00:07:13.640 --> 00:07:14.896 And you know what? 00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:16.736 The next day, no matter what happens, 00:07:16.760 --> 00:07:18.256 I'm not going to run. 00:07:18.280 --> 00:07:19.480 I'll stay engaged. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:20.080 --> 00:07:22.136 Day Two: Request a "burger refill." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:24.136 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:26.456 It's when I went to a burger joint, 00:07:26.480 --> 00:07:28.976 I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said, 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:30.576 "Hi, can I get a burger refill?" NOTE Paragraph 00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:32.776 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:35.256 He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?" NOTE Paragraph 00:07:35.280 --> 00:07:36.536 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:40.216 I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger." 00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:42.736 And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:42.760 --> 00:07:44.096 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:44.120 --> 00:07:48.176 So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed. 00:07:48.200 --> 00:07:50.336 I said, "Well, I love your burgers, 00:07:50.360 --> 00:07:51.776 I love your joint, 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:53.896 and if you guys do a burger refill, 00:07:53.920 --> 00:07:55.256 I will love you guys more." NOTE Paragraph 00:07:55.280 --> 00:07:56.536 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:07:56.560 --> 00:07:59.176 And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it, 00:07:59.200 --> 00:08:02.176 and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today." 00:08:02.200 --> 00:08:03.616 Then I left. 00:08:03.640 --> 00:08:05.496 And by the way, 00:08:05.520 --> 00:08:07.776 I don't think they've ever done burger refill. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:09.016 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:10.600 I think they're still there. 00:08:11.160 --> 00:08:14.456 But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:15.816 was no longer there, 00:08:15.840 --> 00:08:17.576 just because I stayed engaged -- 00:08:17.600 --> 00:08:19.216 because I didn't run. 00:08:19.240 --> 00:08:21.600 I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things. 00:08:22.520 --> 00:08:23.736 Great." NOTE Paragraph 00:08:23.760 --> 00:08:25.960 And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. 00:08:26.760 --> 00:08:29.280 This is where my life was turned upside down. 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:31.736 I went to a Krispy Kreme. 00:08:31.760 --> 00:08:32.976 It's a doughnut shop 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:35.616 in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States. 00:08:35.640 --> 00:08:37.496 I'm sure they have some here, too. 00:08:37.520 --> 00:08:38.775 And I went in, 00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:41.936 I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols? 00:08:41.960 --> 00:08:44.856 Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... " 00:08:44.880 --> 00:08:47.120 I mean there's no way they could say yes, right? 00:08:47.640 --> 00:08:50.016 The doughnut maker took me so seriously. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:50.040 --> 00:08:51.256 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:08:51.280 --> 00:08:52.496 So she put out paper, 00:08:52.520 --> 00:08:54.696 started jotting down the colors and the rings, 00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:56.736 and is like, "How can I make this?" 00:08:56.760 --> 00:08:58.656 And then 15 minutes later, 00:08:58.680 --> 00:09:02.096 she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. 00:09:02.120 --> 00:09:03.776 And I was so touched. 00:09:03.800 --> 00:09:05.936 I just couldn't believe it. 00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:09.720 And that video got over five million views on Youtube. 00:09:10.440 --> 00:09:12.536 The world couldn't believe that either. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:12.560 --> 00:09:14.080 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:18.656 You know, because of that I was in newspapers, 00:09:18.680 --> 00:09:20.096 in talk shows, in everything. 00:09:20.120 --> 00:09:21.616 And I became famous. 00:09:21.640 --> 00:09:23.776 A lot of people started writing emails to me 00:09:23.800 --> 00:09:26.336 and saying, "What you're doing is awesome." 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:29.896 But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me. 00:09:29.920 --> 00:09:31.736 What I really wanted to do was learn, 00:09:31.760 --> 00:09:32.976 and to change myself, 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:35.616 so I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection 00:09:35.640 --> 00:09:37.536 into this playground -- 00:09:37.560 --> 00:09:39.696 into this research project. 00:09:39.720 --> 00:09:41.800 I wanted to see what I could learn. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:44.016 And then I learned a lot of things. 00:09:44.040 --> 00:09:45.616 I discovered so many secrets. 00:09:45.640 --> 00:09:48.536 For example, I found if I just don't run, 00:09:48.560 --> 00:09:49.816 if I got rejected, 00:09:49.840 --> 00:09:51.896 I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," 00:09:51.920 --> 00:09:53.536 and the magic word is, "why." 00:09:53.560 --> 00:09:57.656 So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand, 00:09:57.680 --> 00:09:59.096 knocked on the door and said, 00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:01.376 "Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?" NOTE Paragraph 00:10:01.400 --> 00:10:02.936 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:02.960 --> 00:10:04.680 And he said, "No." 00:10:05.640 --> 00:10:07.376 But before he could leave I said, 00:10:07.400 --> 00:10:09.336 "Hey, can I know why?" 00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:12.416 And he said, "Well, I have this dog 00:10:12.440 --> 00:10:14.776 that would dig up anything I put in the backyard. 00:10:14.800 --> 00:10:16.456 I don't want to waste your flower. 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:19.656 If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie. 00:10:19.680 --> 00:10:20.896 She loves flowers." 00:10:20.920 --> 00:10:22.136 So that's what I did. 00:10:22.160 --> 00:10:24.216 I went across and knocked on Connie's door. 00:10:24.240 --> 00:10:26.096 And she was so happy to see me. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:26.120 --> 00:10:27.816 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:29.216 And then half an hour later, 00:10:29.240 --> 00:10:31.296 there was this flower in Connie's backyard. 00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:32.736 I'm sure it looks better now. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:32.760 --> 00:10:34.056 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:37.016 But had I left after the initial rejection, 00:10:37.040 --> 00:10:38.256 I would've thought, 00:10:38.280 --> 00:10:40.336 well, it's because the guy didn't trust me, 00:10:40.360 --> 00:10:41.576 it's because I was crazy, 00:10:41.600 --> 00:10:44.016 because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good. 00:10:44.040 --> 00:10:45.256 It was none of those. 00:10:45.280 --> 00:10:47.976 It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted. 00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:50.256 And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral, 00:10:50.280 --> 00:10:51.936 using a sales term. 00:10:51.960 --> 00:10:53.480 I converted a referral. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:54.560 --> 00:10:55.776 Then one day -- 00:10:55.800 --> 00:10:58.696 and I also learned that I can actually say certain things 00:10:58.720 --> 00:11:00.656 and maximize my chance to get a yes. 00:11:00.680 --> 00:11:02.896 So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks, 00:11:02.920 --> 00:11:06.496 and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?" 00:11:06.520 --> 00:11:08.896 He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?" 00:11:08.920 --> 00:11:11.016 I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters? 00:11:11.040 --> 00:11:14.456 You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store, 00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:16.696 and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically? 00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:19.856 I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:19.880 --> 00:11:21.336 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:24.360 Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually -- 00:11:25.600 --> 00:11:28.096 Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing. 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:30.176 And he was like, "Oh" -- 00:11:30.200 --> 00:11:32.456 yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric -- 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:34.056 and he was like, "I'm not sure." 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:36.136 This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure." 00:11:36.160 --> 00:11:37.816 Then I ask him, "Is that weird?" 00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:39.880 He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man." 00:11:40.800 --> 00:11:43.656 But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed. 00:11:43.680 --> 00:11:46.616 It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor. 00:11:46.640 --> 00:11:48.376 And he said, "Yeah, you can do this, 00:11:48.400 --> 00:11:49.656 just don't get too weird." NOTE Paragraph 00:11:49.680 --> 00:11:51.096 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:11:51.120 --> 00:11:53.496 So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter. 00:11:53.520 --> 00:11:55.656 I said "hi" to every customer that walked in, 00:11:55.680 --> 00:11:58.056 and gave them holiday cheers. 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:00.736 By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is, 00:12:00.760 --> 00:12:01.976 don't be a greeter. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:03.216 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:12:03.240 --> 00:12:04.440 It was really boring. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:05.200 --> 00:12:10.136 But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?" 00:12:10.160 --> 00:12:12.296 I mentioned the doubt that he was having. 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:15.856 And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird. 00:12:15.880 --> 00:12:18.416 That means I was actually thinking just like him, 00:12:18.440 --> 00:12:20.816 seeing this as a weird thing. 00:12:20.840 --> 00:12:22.096 And again, and again, 00:12:22.120 --> 00:12:25.256 I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have 00:12:25.280 --> 00:12:27.096 before I ask the question, 00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:28.376 I gained their trust. 00:12:28.400 --> 00:12:30.360 People were more likely to say yes to me. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:30.800 --> 00:12:34.136 And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ... 00:12:34.160 --> 00:12:35.576 by asking. 00:12:35.600 --> 00:12:38.696 You know, I came from four generations of teachers, 00:12:38.720 --> 00:12:41.536 and my grandma has always told me, 00:12:41.560 --> 00:12:43.856 "Hey Jia, you can do anything you want, 00:12:43.880 --> 00:12:45.936 but it'd be great if you became a teacher." NOTE Paragraph 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:47.376 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:12:47.400 --> 00:12:49.656 But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't. 00:12:49.680 --> 00:12:53.056 But it has always been my dream to actually teach something. 00:12:53.080 --> 00:12:54.896 So I said, "What if I just ask 00:12:54.920 --> 00:12:57.536 and teach a college class?" 00:12:57.560 --> 00:12:59.016 I lived in Austin at the time, 00:12:59.040 --> 00:13:01.096 so I went to University of Texas at Austin, 00:13:01.120 --> 00:13:04.336 and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?" 00:13:04.360 --> 00:13:06.856 I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times. 00:13:06.880 --> 00:13:09.376 But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it -- 00:13:09.400 --> 00:13:12.736 and on the third try the professor was very impressed. 00:13:12.760 --> 00:13:14.816 He was like, "No one has done this before." 00:13:14.840 --> 00:13:18.856 And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson. 00:13:18.880 --> 00:13:20.936 He said, "Wow, I can use this. 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:24.296 Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum." 00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:26.416 And two months later I was teaching a class. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:29.696 This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture. 00:13:29.720 --> 00:13:32.496 You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know? NOTE Paragraph 00:13:32.520 --> 00:13:33.720 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:13:34.680 --> 00:13:35.896 But wow -- 00:13:35.920 --> 00:13:38.656 when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying, 00:13:38.680 --> 00:13:40.456 because I thought 00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:43.776 I could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking. 00:13:43.800 --> 00:13:46.456 I used to think I have to accomplish all these things -- 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.096 have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach -- 00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:51.656 but no, I just asked, 00:13:51.680 --> 00:13:52.880 and I could teach. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:53.400 --> 00:13:55.776 And in that picture -- which you can't see -- 00:13:55.800 --> 00:13:59.096 I quoted Martin Luther King Jr. 00:13:59.120 --> 00:14:03.656 Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world, 00:14:03.680 --> 00:14:06.616 who change the way we live and the way we think, 00:14:06.640 --> 00:14:10.736 are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections. 00:14:10.760 --> 00:14:12.816 People like Martin Luther King Jr., 00:14:12.840 --> 00:14:14.896 like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, 00:14:14.920 --> 00:14:16.456 or even Jesus Christ. 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:19.856 These people did not let rejection define them. 00:14:19.880 --> 00:14:24.040 They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. 00:14:24.920 --> 00:14:26.480 And they embraced rejection. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:30.576 And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection, 00:14:30.600 --> 00:14:31.856 but in my case, 00:14:31.880 --> 00:14:33.896 rejection was my curse -- 00:14:33.920 --> 00:14:35.176 was my boogeyman. 00:14:35.200 --> 00:14:39.376 It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. 00:14:39.400 --> 00:14:41.120 Then I started embracing it. 00:14:41.800 --> 00:14:44.520 I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. 00:14:45.320 --> 00:14:49.776 I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities. 00:14:49.800 --> 00:14:51.816 I use my blog, I use my talk, 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:53.736 I use the book I just published, 00:14:53.760 --> 00:14:58.320 and I'm even using technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:01.936 When you get rejected in life, 00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:04.176 when you are facing the next obstacle, 00:15:04.200 --> 00:15:06.216 or next failure, 00:15:06.240 --> 00:15:08.056 consider the possibilities. 00:15:08.080 --> 00:15:09.296 Don't run. 00:15:09.320 --> 00:15:10.536 If you just embrace them, 00:15:10.560 --> 00:15:12.640 they might become your gifts as well. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:13.160 --> 00:15:14.376 Thank you. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:14.400 --> 00:15:16.360 (Applause)