1
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When I was six years old,

2
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I received my gifts.

3
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My first grade teacher
had this brilliant idea.

4
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She wanted us to experience
receiving gifts,

5
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but also learning the virtue
of complimenting each other.

6
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So she had all of us come
to the front of the classroom,

7
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and she bought all of us gifts,

8
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and stacked them in the corner.

9
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And she said,

10
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Why don't we just stand here
and compliment each other?

11
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you hear your name called,

12
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
go and pick up your gift and sit down."

13
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What a wonderful idea, right?

14
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What could go wrong?

15
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

16
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, there were 40 of us to start with,

17
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and every time when I heard
someone's name called,

18
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would give out the heartiest cheer.

19
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then there were 20 people left,

20
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and 10 people left,

21
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and five left ...

22
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and three left.

23
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was one of them.

24
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the compliments stopped.

25
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, at that moment, I was crying.

26
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the teacher was freaking out.

27
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She was like, "Hey, would anyone say
anything nice about these people?"

28
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

29
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"No one?

30
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
OK, why don't you go
get your gift and sit down.

31
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So behave next year --

32
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
someone might say
something nice about you."

33
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

34
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, as I'm describing this you,

35
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you probably know
I remember this really well.

36
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

37
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I don't know who felt worse that day.

38
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Was it me, or the teacher?

39
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She must have realized that she turned
a team-leading event

40
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
into a public [jest]
for three six-year-olds.

41
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And without the humor.

42
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, when you see people
get [roasted] on TV,

43
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it was funny.

44
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There was nothing funny about that day.

45
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So that was one version of me,

46
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I would die to avoid
being in that situation again --

47
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to get rejected in public again.

48
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's one version.

49
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then fast-forward eight years --

50
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Bill Gates came to my hometown --

51
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Beijing, China --

52
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to speak,

53
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I saw his message.

54
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I fell in love with that guy.

55
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought, wow, I know
what I want to do now.

56
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That night I wrote a letter to my family

57
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
telling them by age 25,

58
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will build the biggest
company in the world,

59
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and that company will buy Microsoft.

60
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laugther)

61
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I totally embraced this idea
of conquering the world --

62
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
domination, right?

63
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I didn't make this up,

64
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did write that letter.

65
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And hear it is --

66
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

67
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You don't have to read this through --

68
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

69
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is also bad handwriting.

70
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I did highlight some key words.

71
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You get the idea.

72
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, that was another version of me.

73
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One who will conquer the world.

74
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, then two years later,

75
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was presented with the opportunity
to come to the United States.

76
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I jumped on it,

77
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because that was where
Bill Gates lived, right?

78
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

79
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought that was the start
of my entrepreneur journey.

80
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then, fast-forward another 14 years.

81
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was 30.

82
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nope, I didn't build that company.

83
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I didn't even start.

84
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was actually a marketing manager
for a Fortune 500 company.

85
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I felt I was stuck;

86
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was stagnant.

87
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why is that?

88
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Where is that 14-year-old
who wrote that letter?

89
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's not because he didn't try.

90
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's because every time I had a new idea,

91
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
every time I wanted to try something new,

92
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
even at work --

93
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I wanted to make a proposal,

94
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I wanted to speak up
in front of people in a group --

95
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I felt there was this constant battle

96
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
between the 14-year-old
and the six-year-old.

97
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
One wanted to conquer the world,

98
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
make a difference.

99
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Another was afraid of rejection.

100
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And every time,

101
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that six-year-old won.

102
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And this fear even persisted
after I started my own company.

103
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean, I started my own
company when I was 30 --

104
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if you want to be Bill Gates,

105
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you've got to start
sooner or later, right?

106
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

107
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When I was an entrepreneur,

108
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was presented with
an investment opportunity,

109
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and then I was turned down.

110
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that rejection hurt me.

111
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It hurt me so bad that I wanted
to quit right there.

112
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But then I thought, "Hey, would Bill Gates
quit after a simple investment rejection?

113
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Would any successful
entrepreneur quit like that?"

114
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No way.

115
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And this is where it clicked for me.

116
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
OK, I can build a better company.

117
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I can build a better
team or better product,

118
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but one thing for sure:

119
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could be a better leader.

120
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could be a better person.

121
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I cannot let that six-year-old
keep dictating my life anymore.

122
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have to put him back to his place.

123
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So this is where I went online
and looked for help.

124
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Google was my friend.

125
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

126
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I searched, "How do I overcome
the fear of rejection?"

127
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I came up with a bunch
of psychology articles

128
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about where the fear
and pain are coming from.

129
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I came up with a bunch of "Ra-ra"
inspirational articles

130
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about "Don't take it personally,
just overcome it."

131
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who doesn't know that?

132
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

133
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But why was I still so scared?

134
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I found this website by luck.

135
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

136
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

137
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Rejection Therapy was this game
invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.

138
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
His name is Jason Comely.

139
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And basically the idea is for 30 days
you go out and look for rejection.

140
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And every day get rejected at something,

141
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and by the end,

142
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you desensitize yourself from the pain.

143
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I loved that idea.

144
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "You know what?

145
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm going to do this.

146
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I'll feel myself
getting rejected 100 days.

147
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I came up with my own rejection ideas,

148
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I will make a video blog out of it."

149
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And so here's what I did.

150
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is what the blog looked like.

151
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Day 1 --"

152
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

153
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Borrow $100 from a Stanger."

154
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So this is where I went
to where I was working.

155
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I came downstairs and I saw this big guy
sitting behind a desk,

156
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he looked like a security guard.

157
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I just approach him.

158
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I was just walking in --

159
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that was the longest walk of my life --

160
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
just hair on the back
of my neck standing up,

161
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was sweating and my heart was pounding,

162
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I got there and said,

163
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, sir, can I borrow $100 from you?"

164
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

165
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he looked up,

166
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he's like, "No."

167
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

168
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Why?"

169
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I just said, "No?

170
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm sorry."

171
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I turned around and I just ran.

172
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

173
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I felt so embarrassed.

174
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But because I filmed myself --

175
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so that night I was watching
myself getting rejected,

176
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just saw how scared I was.

177
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I looked like this kid
in "The Sixth Sense."

178
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I saw dead people.

179
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

180
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But then I saw this guy.

181
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, he wasn't that menacing.

182
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He was a chubby, loveable guy,

183
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and he even asked me, "Why?"

184
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In fact he invited me to explain myself.

185
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could've said many things.

186
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could've explained,

187
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could've negotiated.

188
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I didn't do any of that.

189
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All I did was run.

190
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I felt, "Wow, this is like
the microcosm of my life."

191
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Every time I feel the slightest rejection,

192
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would run as fast as I could.

193
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And you know what?

194
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The next day,

195
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
no matter what happens,

196
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm not going to run.

197
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll stay engaged.

198
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Day 2:

199
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Request a "Burger Refill."

200
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

201
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's when I went to burger joint,

202
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I finished lunch,

203
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I went to the cashier and said,

204
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, can I get a burger refill?"

205
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

206
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he was all confused,

207
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he was like, "What's a burger refill?"

208
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

209
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Well, it's just like a drink
refill but with a burger."

210
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

211
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he said, "Sorry, we don't do
burger refill, man."

212
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

213
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So this is where rejection happened
and I could have run,

214
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but I stayed.

215
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Well, I love your burgers,

216
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I love your joint,

217
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and if you guys do a burger refill,

218
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I will love you guys more."

219
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

220
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he said, "Well, ok, I'll tell
my manager about it,

221
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and maybe we'll do it,

222
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but sorry we can' do this today."

223
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I left.

224
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And by the way,

225
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't think they've
ever done burger refill.

226
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

227
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think they're still there.

228
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, the life and death feeling

229
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was feeling the first time
was no longer there,

230
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
just because I stayed engaged --

231
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because I didn't run.

232
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Wow, great,

233
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm already learning things.

234
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Great."

235
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then Day three:

236
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Getting Olympic Doughnuts.

237
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is where my life
was turned upside down.

238
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I went to a Krispy Kreme.

239
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's a doughnut shop in mainly the
Southeastern part of the United States.

240
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I went in,

241
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Can you make me doughnuts
that look like olympic symbols?

242
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Basically you thread
five doughnuts together ... "

243
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

244
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean there's no way
they could say yes, right?

245
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

246
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

247
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

248
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So she put out paper,

249
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
started jotting down
the colors and the rings,

250
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and is like, "How can I make this?"

251
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then 15 minutes later,

252
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
she came out with a box
that looked like Olympic rings.

253
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

254
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I was so touched.

255
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just couldn't believe it.

256
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that video got over five
million views on Youtube.

257
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The world couldn't believe that either.

258
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

259
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And because of that,

260
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was in newspapers,

261
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in talkshows,

262
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in everything.

263
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I became famous.

264
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A lot of people started
writing emails to me,

265
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and sending, "What you're
doing is awesome."

266
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But you know, fame and notoriety
did not do anything to me.

267
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What I really wanted to do was learn,

268
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and to change myself,

269
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I turned the rest
of my 100 days of rejection

270
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
into this playground --

271
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
into this research project.

272
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I wanted to see what I could learn.

273
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then I learned a lot of things.

274
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I discovered so many secrets.

275
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For example,

276
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I found if I just don't run,

277
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if I got rejected,

278
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could actually turn a no into a yes,

279
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and the magic word is, "why."

280
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So one day I went to a stranger's house,

281
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I had this flower in my hand,

282
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I said --

283
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
knock on the door and said, "Hey, can I
plant this flower in your backyard?"

284
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laugther)

285
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he said, "No."

286
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But before he could leave I said,

287
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey can I know why?"

288
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he said, "Well I have this dog

289
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that would dig up anything
I put in the backyard.

290
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't want to waste your flower.

291
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you want to do this,

292
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
go across the street and talk to Connie.

293
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
She loves flowers."

294
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

295
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So that's what I did.

296
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I went across and knocked
on Connie's door.

297
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And she was so happy to see me.

298
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

299
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then half and hour later,

300
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
there was this flower
in Connie's backyard.

301
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm sure it looks better now.

302
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

303
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But had I left after
the initial rejection,

304
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would've thought,

305
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
well it's because the guy didn't trust me,

306
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's because I was crazy,

307
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because I didn't dress up well --

308
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I didn't look good.

309
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was none of those.

310
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was because what I offered
did not fit what he wanted.

311
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he trusted me enough
to offer me a referral --

312
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
using a sales term --

313
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

314
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I converted a referal.

315
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then one day --

316
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I also learned that I can
actually say certain things

317
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and maximize my chance to get a yes.

318
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So for example,

319
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
one day I went to a Starbucks,

320
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and asked the manager,

321
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"

322
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"

323
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

324
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said, "Do you know
those Wal-Mart greeters?

325
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know those people who will say
hi to you before you walk in the store,

326
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and make sure you
don't steal stuff, basically?"

327
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

328
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I want to give a Wal-Mart experience
to Starbucks customers."

329
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

330
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, I'm not sure
that's a good thing, actually --

331
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
actually, I'm pretty sure
it's a bad thing.

332
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

333
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he was like, "Oh" --

334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
yeah, this is how he looked,

335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
his name is Eric --

336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and he was like, "I'm not sure."

337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is how he was hearing me.

338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Not sure."

339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"

340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."

341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But as soon as he said that his
whole demeanor changed.

343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's as if he's putting
all the doubt on the floor.

344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,

345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
just don't get too weird."

346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So for the next hour
I was the Starbucks greeter.

348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I said hi to every customer
that walked in,

349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and gave them holiday cheers.

350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
By the way,

351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know what
your career trajectory is,

352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
don't be a greeter.

353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It was really boring.

355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But then I found I could do this
because I mentioned,

356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Is that weird?"

357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mentioned the doubt that he was having.

358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"
that means I wasn't weird.

359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That means I was actually
thinking just like him,

360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
seeing this as a weird thing.

361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And again, again, I learned

362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that if I mention some
doubt people might have

363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
before I ask the question,

364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I gain their trust.

365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
People are more likely to say yes to me.

366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And then I learned I could
fulfill my life dream ...

367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
by asking.

368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I came from four generations of teachers,

369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and my grandma has always told me,

370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,

371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but it'd be great if you
become a teacher."

372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But I want to be an entrepreneur,

374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I didn't.

375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But it has always been my dream
to actually teach something.

376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I said, "What if I just ask,

377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and teach a college class?"

378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So I lived in Austin at the time,

379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so I went to University of Texas, Austin,

380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and knocked on professor's doors

381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and said, "Can I teach your class?"

382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, I didn't get anywhere
the first couple times.

383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But because I didn't run --

384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I kept doing it --

385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and on the third try,

386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the professor was very impressed.

387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He was like, "No one
has done this before."

388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I came in prepared
with powerpoints and my lesson.

389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He said, "Wow, I can use this.

390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why do you come back in two months,

391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll fit you into my curriculum."

392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And two months later
I was teaching a class.

393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is me --

394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you probably can't see,

395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
this is a bad picture.

396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know sometimes you get
rejected by lighting, you know?

397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Laughter)

398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But wow --

399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
when I finished teaching that class,

400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I walked out crying

401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because --

402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought --

403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I could just fulfill my life dream
just by simply asking.

404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought --

405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I used to think I have to accomplish
all these things --

406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
how to be a great entrepreneur,

407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or get a PhD to teach --

408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but no, I can just ask,

409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and I could teach.

410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that picture --

411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which you can't see --

412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.

413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why?

414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because in my research I found
that people who really change the world,

415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who change the way we live
and the way we think,

416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
are the people who were met
with initial and often violent rejections.

417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
People like Martin Luther King, Jr.,

418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like Mahatma Ghandi,

419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Nelson Mandela,

420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or even Jesus Christ.

421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
These people did not
let rejection define them.

422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They let their own reaction
after rejection define themselves.

423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And they embraced rejection.

424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And we don't have to be those people
to learn about rejection,

425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but in my case,

426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
rejection was my curse --

427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was my boogey man.

428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It has bothered me my whole life
because I was running away from it.

429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Then I started embracing it.

430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It turned out into the biggest
gift in my life.

431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I started teaching people how
to turn rejections into opportunities.

432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I use my blog,

433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I use talk,

434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I use the book I just published,

435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and even technology to help people
overcome their fear of rejection.

436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When you get rejected in life,

437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
when you are facing the next obstacle,

438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or next failure,

439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
consider the possiblities.

440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Don't run.

441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you just embrace them,

442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they might become your gifts as well.

443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thank you.

444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Applause)