WEBVTT 00:00:01.364 --> 00:00:05.448 By whom should children be raised? 00:00:06.882 --> 00:00:12.112 By parents, most would say, but the answer isn’t always that simple 00:00:12.399 --> 00:00:14.378 and it varies from culture to culture. 00:00:15.341 --> 00:00:20.826 What one group sees as the ideal way to raise a child may be another’s taboo. 00:00:22.207 --> 00:00:27.486 Meredith Small: Every culture believes that what they’re doing is the perfect thing for children. 00:00:27.486 --> 00:00:31.495 Narrator: Meredith Small is a professor of anthropology at Cornell University. 00:00:31.495 --> 00:00:35.170 Small: It’s only when we step back and look at the other cultures that we can actually 00:00:35.170 --> 00:00:37.983 look at our own cultures and see how different it is. 00:00:44.953 --> 00:00:51.119 Narrator: A few years before China will host its first Olympic games, the people of its capital, 00:00:51.119 --> 00:00:54.609 Beijing, are feeling the pressure. 00:00:54.909 --> 00:00:58.389 For many in China, and especially its Communist leaders, 00:00:58.389 --> 00:01:03.420 the 2008 games will be the most important ever. 00:01:04.553 --> 00:01:10.311 In fact, China’s quest for gold means some children are growing up under circumstances 00:01:10.311 --> 00:01:13.041 many might find taboo. 00:01:16.731 --> 00:01:22.649 It’s a common scene—a family sharing a meal at home. 00:01:22.649 --> 00:01:27.982 For ten-year-old Li Yang, however, this is no longer home. 00:01:28.444 --> 00:01:34.033 And meals with his parents are rare, because Li Yang only comes here on weekends. 00:01:34.986 --> 00:01:41.981 He’s an aspiring gymnast and he’s being raised not by his mom and dad, but by the state. 00:01:43.083 --> 00:01:48.013 When he was just a toddler, the state-run sports system selected him for training. 00:01:48.732 --> 00:01:53.817 Father: He was three-and-a-half years old when he was chosen out of pre-school. 00:01:53.817 --> 00:01:58.879 His pre-school had 500 students and they chose two. 00:01:59.555 --> 00:02:04.054 Narrator: Then, Li Yang’s coaches gave his parents a very difficult choice: 00:02:04.054 --> 00:02:11.056 They could set their only child on course to become a professional gymnast, 00:02:11.516 --> 00:02:13.312 but there would be a price. 00:02:15.705 --> 00:02:21.298 At the tender age of six, Li Yang would have to leave his family’s loving care to live at 00:02:21.298 --> 00:02:27.445 a state-run boarding school where he would undergo years of grueling training, 00:02:27.445 --> 00:02:32.988 involving pain, tears, and the risk of physical injury. 00:02:36.944 --> 00:02:44.124 Narrator: Many parents might find that price too high, particularly in China. 00:02:44.467 --> 00:02:48.912 The country’s “one child” policy meant that Li Yang’s parents would be giving up 00:02:48.912 --> 00:02:54.986 the only child they would ever have, but Li Yang’s father was eager for his son to go. 00:02:56.045 --> 00:02:58.466 Father: I didn’t have any doubts. 00:02:58.466 --> 00:03:01.855 Of course I wanted to send him there. 00:03:01.855 --> 00:03:05.227 I hope he will be the world champion. 00:03:08.670 --> 00:03:12.085 Narrator: For aspiring gymnasts, there is no better training ground than the 00:03:12.085 --> 00:03:15.723 Shi Cha Hai sports school in Beijing. 00:03:17.207 --> 00:03:22.977 Shi Cha Hai graduates often go on to China’s national gymnastics team, one of the world’s best. 00:03:31.506 --> 00:03:38.413 But when Li Yang first enrolled, he was just six, far too young to understand what was at stake. 00:03:38.413 --> 00:03:46.679 Li Yang: When they picked me, I didn’t know anything, so I didn’t think much about it. 00:03:49.068 --> 00:03:52.986 Now after I’ve learned some, I think that learning gymnastics is pretty good. 00:03:56.619 --> 00:04:02.137 Narrator: It may be great training, but it comes at the cost of a traditional childhood. 00:04:03.674 --> 00:04:06.442 Playtime is replaced by grueling workouts. 00:04:08.985 --> 00:04:14.202 Susan Brownell: Parents recognize that the sports school life is what they call bitter. 00:04:14.363 --> 00:04:21.170 They recognize that these athletes have to endure a lot of physical fatigue and pain. 00:04:21.341 --> 00:04:24.254 Narrator: Susan Brownell is an associate professor of anthropology at 00:04:24.254 --> 00:04:27.365 the University of Missouri St. Louis. 00:04:27.365 --> 00:04:34.162 Brownell: The parents, probably in most cases, hope that the child will become a star, 00:04:34.229 --> 00:04:39.003 will make an Olympic team, win a gold medal, win glory for China. 00:04:44.241 --> 00:04:49.201 Narrator: From the start, the lives of these budding Chinese sports stars are far removed 00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:53.776 from the comforts of home. 00:04:53.776 --> 00:05:00.786 Every morning, each child is awoken at six a.m., and not by his mother. 00:05:08.575 --> 00:05:10.799 Woman: Listen up, Li yang, you count. 00:05:12.359 --> 00:05:14.198 Li Yang: Okay, one, two… 00:05:16.391 --> 00:05:20.334 Narrator: Even before breakfast, the students begin their training with a run. 00:05:21.340 --> 00:05:23.261 It’s boot camp for six-year-olds. 00:05:25.090 --> 00:05:31.235 In a world without parents, it’s up to senior students like Li Yang, just 10 himself, 00:05:31.235 --> 00:05:35.534 to show the younger boys how to get by on their own. 00:05:37.945 --> 00:05:43.773 Meals always mean cafeteria food, not mom’s home cooking. 00:05:47.600 --> 00:05:54.286 Then, it’s time for school, but here too the children are paying a price. 00:05:58.662 --> 00:06:01.585 Li Yang has only half-a-day to spend in class. 00:06:03.241 --> 00:06:08.426 By noon, his school day is over. 00:06:12.669 --> 00:06:18.466 Then, while most kids his age are in their afternoon lessons, Li Yang reports to the gym 00:06:18.466 --> 00:06:21.715 for three hours of strenuous training. 00:06:27.154 --> 00:06:33.713 Li Yang is learning less than kids who spend all day in school, but the longer he trains, 00:06:33.713 --> 00:06:36.285 the less he can afford to give it up. 00:06:37.749 --> 00:06:42.245 Li Yang: I’ve trained for seven years already. 00:06:42.245 --> 00:06:46.519 If I stop now, then my efforts would be lost. 00:06:49.856 --> 00:06:52.860 Narrator: But in the end, all this may be for naught. 00:06:54.097 --> 00:07:01.993 After the years of training, the time spent away from his parents, Li Yang may not make it 00:07:02.430 --> 00:07:04.872 because, in fact, very few do. 00:07:05.875 --> 00:07:10.637 Brownell: Realistically, as you find anywhere in the world, including the U.S., 00:07:10.637 --> 00:07:15.090 very few of the children actually make it to the top. 00:07:15.714 --> 00:07:23.144 And the rest may get some benefits out of having gone through this kind of process and 00:07:23.144 --> 00:07:27.821 some may actually come out of it worse than they would have if they had just 00:07:27.821 --> 00:07:30.829 pursued a normal life in the regular school system. 00:07:33.302 --> 00:07:36.910 Narrator: More and more in China, where the government insists most couples 00:07:36.910 --> 00:07:41.972 have just one child, fewer families are willing to take that risk. 00:07:44.841 --> 00:07:50.070 In fact, many people are starting to view the state-run sports schools as taboo. 00:07:51.730 --> 00:07:58.481 Man: It’s good to train the body, but it’s better when one obtains good grades. 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:01.294 I don’t think there’s much future in that. 00:08:02.014 --> 00:08:04.200 They just do it for the country. 00:08:09.751 --> 00:08:13.954 Narrator: The athletes at the Shi Cha Hai sports school soon learn that training is 00:08:13.954 --> 00:08:18.958 excruciatingly hard work. 00:08:24.979 --> 00:08:28.648 Their coaches can be strict; they rarely offer praise. 00:08:31.915 --> 00:08:34.697 Coach: What, your butt doesn’t have any strength? 00:08:35.297 --> 00:08:38.469 What’s wrong, didn’t you eat enough? Why are you so slow? 00:08:39.380 --> 00:08:42.535 Narrator: Jiang Changzhu is the head gymnastics coach. 00:08:43.291 --> 00:08:47.131 Coach: To be a coach is very difficult. 00:08:47.131 --> 00:08:52.662 On one hand, we have to train them; and on the other hand, we have to take care of them. 00:08:54.866 --> 00:08:57.737 We’re more in contact with them than their parents. 00:09:00.833 --> 00:09:04.272 Narrator: But many parents might question this kind of care. 00:09:07.661 --> 00:09:12.603 To help the children increase their flexibility, the coaches teach them to stretch their 00:09:12.603 --> 00:09:17.526 backs and limbs beyond their natural limits. 00:09:20.244 --> 00:09:29.166 Even the five and six-year-olds are bent, crushed and pulled, sometimes until they cry. 00:09:33.343 --> 00:09:39.171 Coach: I guess I would say the ones who cry aren’t as flexible, 00:09:39.171 --> 00:09:43.436 which is a requirement of the sport. 00:09:43.436 --> 00:09:45.744 There’s no way to avoid it. 00:09:48.820 --> 00:09:51.294 Li Yang: You haven’t cried since you came here? 00:09:51.294 --> 00:09:52.868 Boy: I don’t believe that. 00:09:52.868 --> 00:09:55.695 Boy: I haven’t cried since I came here. 00:09:59.519 --> 00:10:02.914 Narrator: The school discourages parents from watching the training. 00:10:06.052 --> 00:10:09.725 But Li Yang’s father is not harboring any illusions. 00:10:10.543 --> 00:10:14.959 Father: It’s not bad for a child to face some hardship. 00:10:15.938 --> 00:10:18.307 Only after hardship can there be sweetness. 00:10:19.409 --> 00:10:23.123 Brownell: Parents really do not have much say in how the school operates. 00:10:23.123 --> 00:10:28.881 The coaches answer not to the parents, but to the administrators above them. 00:10:29.726 --> 00:10:35.306 It’s not like in the U.S., for example, where the coach is being paid by the parent 00:10:35.306 --> 00:10:36.775 to coach the athlete. 00:10:40.823 --> 00:10:45.769 Narrator: Every child must also face the daunting prospect that just one accident 00:10:45.769 --> 00:10:50.927 could result in a permanent physical injury or worse. 00:10:51.644 --> 00:10:54.896 Woman: All roads have danger. 00:10:54.896 --> 00:11:01.427 If you want to be an athlete, you have to be willing to sacrifice things for your life. 00:11:02.930 --> 00:11:07.816 Narrator: Coming up, a budding young gymnast competes at a world meet 00:11:07.816 --> 00:11:10.493 and suffers a tragic injury. 00:11:11.370 --> 00:11:15.599 And later, meet toddlers being raised in prison. 00:11:19.129 --> 00:11:24.601 Few understand the sacrifices gymnasts face better than Sang Lan. 00:11:26.575 --> 00:11:31.676 In the 1990s, Sang Lan represented China in competitions around the world. 00:11:33.307 --> 00:11:36.918 Then at the 1998 Goodwill Games in New York, 00:11:37.612 --> 00:11:42.726 she made a slight hesitation during a practice vault and landed on her head. 00:11:44.335 --> 00:11:46.088 She was 17. 00:11:46.519 --> 00:11:49.341 Sang Lan: I could tell that the injury was quite serious. 00:11:54.094 --> 00:11:58.643 Narrator: Today, Sang Lan has little feeling below her mid-chest. 00:12:02.417 --> 00:12:07.606 Sang Lan: But I really couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t be able to walk in the future. 00:12:10.261 --> 00:12:11.879 I really couldn’t imagine it. 00:12:15.322 --> 00:12:18.663 Narrator: It’s a sobering reminder of how dangerous this path can be. 00:12:19.821 --> 00:12:23.184 In Sang Lan’s case, she was able to bounce back. 00:12:24.655 --> 00:12:29.117 A university student, about to launch her own TV sports show, 00:12:29.117 --> 00:12:34.401 she insists her gymnastics training gave her the fortitude to carry on despite her injury. 00:12:35.489 --> 00:12:38.954 Sang Lan: People will always have times when they feel regret. 00:12:38.954 --> 00:12:41.843 You may think if I hadn’t started training in gymnastics, 00:12:41.843 --> 00:12:44.761 then these things wouldn’t have happened. 00:12:45.587 --> 00:12:47.787 But I feel you can’t think of it that way. 00:12:49.782 --> 00:12:51.973 I still love gymnastics. 00:12:54.313 --> 00:12:56.983 Narrator: It’s a sentiment shared by other former gymnasts, 00:12:58.959 --> 00:13:03.870 even after their long years of bone crushing work. 00:13:04.669 --> 00:13:10.405 After graduating from Shi Cha Hai sports school, Kui Yuan Yuan went onto win 00:13:10.405 --> 00:13:13.926 a bronze medal at the 2000 Olympics. 00:13:16.411 --> 00:13:22.027 Now retired at age 22, she has opened her own gymnastics school in Beijing. 00:13:25.826 --> 00:13:31.615 Kui Yuan Yuan: I think that after training in gymnastics, as I grew up, 00:13:31.615 --> 00:13:36.476 none of my difficulties were greater than the ones I faced in training. 00:13:36.476 --> 00:13:40.363 I think if I could get through that, then I could face anything. 00:13:42.703 --> 00:13:47.034 Narrator: Of course, there are many advantages to life as a young Chinese gymnast, 00:13:47.034 --> 00:13:49.282 in spite of the risks and hardships. 00:13:51.253 --> 00:13:56.661 Li Yang’s mother works 15-hour days, so she is not home to care for her son. 00:13:59.947 --> 00:14:06.024 Life at an athletic school provides supervision, as well as the companionship 00:14:06.024 --> 00:14:10.803 of other children, no small thing for a generation of only children raised 00:14:10.803 --> 00:14:13.587 under China’s one child policy. 00:14:16.183 --> 00:14:19.693 And twice a week in the evenings, parents can stop by and visit. 00:14:26.497 --> 00:14:29.834 Father: Did you finish your homework? Did you train well? 00:14:30.362 --> 00:14:33.632 Narrator: And although many Westerners may find it odd to give one’s children 00:14:33.632 --> 00:14:38.395 over to the care of strangers, it’s not so unusual in China. 00:14:39.709 --> 00:14:44.832 Brownell: There is a tradition in China of sending your children off to live with other people 00:14:44.832 --> 00:14:48.497 if you think other people can provide better opportunities. 00:14:48.497 --> 00:14:54.977 In America, we tend to think that families live together and being together all the time 00:14:54.977 --> 00:14:58.774 is one of the essential things about being a family. 00:14:58.774 --> 00:15:04.051 But in China, people are able to maintain very strong notions of family and 00:15:04.051 --> 00:15:07.931 a sense of emotional connectiveness even when they're apart. 00:15:11.729 --> 00:15:15.131 Narrator: Will Li Yang fulfill his dream and make the Olympic team? 00:15:15.882 --> 00:15:17.758 It’s too soon to tell. 00:15:19.474 --> 00:15:25.563 He and his parents have given up the daily joys of family life for the slim chance, 00:15:25.563 --> 00:15:31.007 the very slim chance, that Li Yang will become a star gymnast for China. 00:15:36.567 --> 00:15:40.495 The parents of young Chinese gymnasts like Li Yang are willing to let them 00:15:40.495 --> 00:15:42.587 be raised by coaches. 00:15:44.558 --> 00:15:49.093 But there are other places where the idea of having children raised by strangers 00:15:49.093 --> 00:15:52.370 of any kind would be taboo. 00:15:53.798 --> 00:15:58.288 There, the bond between mother and child is deemed so important that 00:15:58.288 --> 00:16:02.933 mothers will take their children with them even into the most hostile of environments. 00:16:14.327 --> 00:16:16.539 Tihar Prison in New Delhi, India. 00:16:19.352 --> 00:16:27.926 It's the largest prison in Asia; 75,000 prisoners shuffle through here every year. 00:16:30.907 --> 00:16:34.933 India's leading terrorists, criminals and drug lords are kept here. 00:16:37.340 --> 00:16:43.937 Even the women's ward is full of inmates charged with theft, drugs, and murder. 00:16:46.791 --> 00:16:49.412 It’s the last place a child should call home. 00:16:51.046 --> 00:16:55.570 Yet this is where about 50 children live, learn and play. 00:16:56.727 --> 00:17:02.473 They are the children of women prisoners. Some were born here. 00:17:03.169 --> 00:17:06.167 Others have lived here for months, even years. 00:17:08.183 --> 00:17:12.158 Nearly all of them have little memory of the world outside. 00:17:12.809 --> 00:17:15.701 Sapna: They don't see the moon because they're locked up. 00:17:15.701 --> 00:17:21.157 Lajjo: Ice cream, chocolate, you get that outside, but you can't get any of that in here. 00:17:24.453 --> 00:17:28.900 Narrator: A prison is never the ideal place to bring up a child, but sometimes, 00:17:28.900 --> 00:17:32.680 it can be the best place to do so. 00:17:33.309 --> 00:17:40.444 In some countries, the idea of making a child pay for the sins of its mother would be taboo. 00:17:41.124 --> 00:17:43.381 Man: I wouldn’t make the kid live there; that doesn’t seem right. 00:17:43.381 --> 00:17:44.721 The kid didn’t do anything wrong. 00:17:44.721 --> 00:17:46.979 Woman: They’re the ones that took the risk to get into prison; 00:17:46.979 --> 00:17:48.716 the child shouldn’t have to go down with them. 00:17:48.716 --> 00:17:52.237 She gives up every right and every freedom as soon as she gets convicted. 00:17:52.237 --> 00:17:56.193 Narrator: But here in India, people see it differently. 00:18:02.302 --> 00:18:06.880 The women's prison here in Tihar has eight wards housing 500 women. 00:18:09.483 --> 00:18:14.320 Tihar has been called a model prison: quiet, disciplined, orderly. 00:18:16.170 --> 00:18:19.433 But there's one building where the rules don't always apply. 00:18:20.762 --> 00:18:22.819 It’s called the children's barrack. 00:18:25.094 --> 00:18:27.815 And this is where the real outlaws live. 00:18:30.452 --> 00:18:35.000 Meet Rohit, the terror of Tihar. 00:18:39.756 --> 00:18:43.056 His mother, Lajjo, is struggling to keep him in control. 00:18:47.713 --> 00:18:50.906 Lajjo and Rohit have been in prison for over three years. 00:18:51.902 --> 00:18:55.973 Lajjo is charged with being an accessory to the murder of her sister-in-law. 00:18:57.245 --> 00:19:02.734 Lajjo's husband stayed in Dubai and she left her older daughters with her family, 00:19:02.734 --> 00:19:04.855 but Rohit she brought inside. 00:19:05.355 --> 00:19:09.172 Lajjo: He was a year and a half old when I brought him in. I was breastfeeding him. 00:19:09.172 --> 00:19:11.248 He couldn't have lived without me then. 00:19:12.630 --> 00:19:17.767 Narrator: But Rohit is now five years old, and Lajjo is still fighting her case. 00:19:18.846 --> 00:19:24.850 Like Lajjo, about 90% of the women inside Tihar are not convicts. 00:19:24.850 --> 00:19:27.099 They are women awaiting trial. 00:19:27.099 --> 00:19:33.130 The Indian courts are so clogged that it takes them years to grant bail or hear a case. 00:19:33.130 --> 00:19:39.079 So the law allows mothers to raise a child in prison until the child turns six. 00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:43.197 For most people, keeping kids in prison would be highly taboo. 00:19:43.197 --> 00:19:47.332 But many of these inmates opt to bring their children inside. 00:19:47.332 --> 00:19:50.343 Lajjo: We choose to bring them here if we aren't able to convince ourselves 00:19:50.343 --> 00:19:51.965 to leave the kids; we wonder how they'll keep our kids outside. 00:19:51.965 --> 00:19:58.132 The way a mother loves her child, nobody else can do that. 00:19:58.132 --> 00:20:00.615 A mother is, after all, a mother. 00:20:02.744 --> 00:20:05.267 Narrator: It’s a role most Indian women take to heart. 00:20:05.267 --> 00:20:10.530 And the one crime they don't want to be accused of is being an unfit mother. 00:20:11.063 --> 00:20:13.756 Dr. Manju Mehta: In Indian culture, in lots of our prayers, 00:20:13.756 --> 00:20:19.346 in lots of our sayings, the mother has a status which is almost next to god. 00:20:19.346 --> 00:20:23.722 So it’s become very important that the mother has to take care of the child. 00:20:23.722 --> 00:20:28.420 If anything goes wrong in the child, the blame is on the mother. 00:20:28.757 --> 00:20:31.477 Narrator: Dr. Manju Mehta is a child psychologist at the 00:20:31.477 --> 00:20:36.789 All India Institute of Medical Sciences in New Delhi, India. 00:20:36.789 --> 00:20:41.353 Dr. Mehta: In India, so far even culturally, the fathers have not been very active 00:20:41.353 --> 00:20:42.883 in bringing up children. 00:20:42.883 --> 00:20:48.756 And that is why the mother feels that she cannot leave the child to father or other relatives 00:20:48.756 --> 00:20:51.947 and she feels that whatever the environment is, 00:20:51.947 --> 00:20:54.979 she would be the best person to take care of her child. 00:20:54.979 --> 00:21:00.143 Narrator: In many countries, mothers aren’t given the choice. 00:21:01.265 --> 00:21:06.657 It’s not a question of what’s best for the child, just what’s the best punishment for the mother. 00:21:07.276 --> 00:21:11.613 Small: In Western culture, if a woman has to go to prison, she’s separated from her child 00:21:11.613 --> 00:21:14.512 as if the child will be perfectly fine without her. 00:21:14.512 --> 00:21:16.455 Someone else can bring the kid up. 00:21:16.455 --> 00:21:20.944 But I think from the Indian perspective, they consider this some kind of child abuse to separate 00:21:20.944 --> 00:21:23.875 this bond that is so important to them. 00:21:25.485 --> 00:21:28.626 And for Indian children who don’t follow their mothers to prison, 00:21:28.626 --> 00:21:33.005 the situation outside the prison walls can be more abusive than within. 00:21:35.478 --> 00:21:41.758 About 18 million children live on the streets of India trying to survive any way they can. 00:21:44.257 --> 00:21:47.625 Some resort to begging, others to drugs and prostitution. 00:21:50.283 --> 00:21:54.516 Many of the mothers in prison are from the poorer segments of society. 00:21:56.296 --> 00:22:00.579 They know that without their guidance, their kids could easily wander the alleyways. 00:22:02.671 --> 00:22:07.438 But in the confines of a prison, their children are safe and in their care. 00:22:18.619 --> 00:22:22.003 It’s Rohit's turn to lead the prayers at the prison nursery. 00:22:23.307 --> 00:22:27.244 The children are kept here while the mothers perform various prison duties. 00:22:28.254 --> 00:22:33.696 Inmates like Sapna act as nursery schoolteachers from nine to four every day. 00:22:35.752 --> 00:22:41.607 Sapna: They learn their alphabets, poems, numbers, all the things that are taught in a nursery. 00:22:45.306 --> 00:22:47.955 Narrator: Sapna's making them practice their alphabets. 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:51.621 But Rohit's already thinking big. 00:23:03.627 --> 00:23:05.078 Sapna: My daughter says the same thing. 00:23:05.078 --> 00:23:07.474 She says, "I’ll become a judge…" 00:23:08.554 --> 00:23:10.076 That's my daughter, Mino. 00:23:12.975 --> 00:23:16.337 Narrator: Sapna's in prison on a kidnapping charge. 00:23:17.340 --> 00:23:20.583 Her husband is an alcoholic and cannot take care of Mino. 00:23:21.723 --> 00:23:23.982 So Sapna has brought her inside. 00:23:24.425 --> 00:23:27.301 Sapna: I think it’s better inside. 00:23:27.301 --> 00:23:29.333 These children don't care about the world. 00:23:29.333 --> 00:23:32.566 All they care about is having their mother, and good food to eat, that's it. 00:23:36.935 --> 00:23:40.992 Narrator: It’s in prison that the children learn to love their mothers. 00:23:46.121 --> 00:23:48.354 But it’s a lesson that will last them a lifetime. 00:24:01.464 --> 00:24:08.142 Dr. Mehta: In the initial ages, the mother-child relationship develops the sense of 00:24:08.142 --> 00:24:10.753 trust and mistrust in the child. 00:24:10.753 --> 00:24:14.860 So if the mother is able to take care of the child at that particular time, 00:24:14.860 --> 00:24:19.899 he would develop a sense of trust in other people also. 00:24:21.802 --> 00:24:25.096 But the children are paying a heavy price for this security. 00:24:27.862 --> 00:24:34.331 Coming up, Rohit leaves prison for the first time in three years. 00:24:36.032 --> 00:24:42.612 Then, journey to a place where kids run wild and learn to smoke at age six. 00:24:45.526 --> 00:24:49.293 The taboo of raising kids in prison stems from a harsher reality. 00:24:51.560 --> 00:24:54.213 Sapna: They don't see the moon, because they get locked up at six in the night. 00:24:54.724 --> 00:24:57.012 They’ve never been to the zoo. 00:24:58.523 --> 00:25:01.368 Inside, you just get to see cats, nothing else. 00:25:06.145 --> 00:25:09.279 Sapna: The kids who are from the outside would have seen other things. 00:25:09.769 --> 00:25:14.453 The kids born here, they have just seen the warden and these bars and us, that's it. 00:25:19.678 --> 00:25:24.225 Narrator: These children are limited, not just in their movement, but in their entire reality. 00:25:29.512 --> 00:25:32.584 A situation that may work for very young children becomes 00:25:32.584 --> 00:25:35.734 increasingly difficult as they get older. 00:25:36.282 --> 00:25:38.167 Dr. Mehta: When we look for the younger children, 00:25:38.167 --> 00:25:42.107 their basic needs are related to security, belongingness. 00:25:42.478 --> 00:25:47.201 But when we come to the older children, their needs are a little different. 00:25:47.201 --> 00:25:51.272 Their stimulation and their environment has to be more enriched. 00:25:51.272 --> 00:25:55.906 In the prison environment, their experiences become very limited. 00:26:01.032 --> 00:26:06.532 That sad reality has become increasingly clear to Lajjo, who worries about Rohit’s future. 00:26:07.753 --> 00:26:11.347 Lajjo: If he stays with me, I don't know how long it will take me to get released. 00:26:11.758 --> 00:26:13.673 And then the child's education gets affected. 00:26:14.741 --> 00:26:17.462 Narrator: After more than three years in prison, 00:26:17.462 --> 00:26:21.728 Lajjo has decided to send Rohit home to live with her daughters. 00:26:22.371 --> 00:26:26.376 Narrator: Although there are special hostels that look after prison kids, 00:26:26.376 --> 00:26:30.609 Lajjo is hesitant to entrust her son to total strangers. 00:26:32.426 --> 00:26:36.462 Lajjo: I would never give my son to anybody else. 00:26:36.462 --> 00:26:39.613 I am sending him only because it’s my own daughters. 00:26:44.900 --> 00:26:51.605 Narrator: It’s Rohit's big day and Lajjo is giving him his last prison bath in cold water. 00:26:54.121 --> 00:27:00.779 Lajjo: I am sending him home so he'll study, grow up and become a good human being. 00:27:01.947 --> 00:27:05.519 He says that we wants to study and become a big man. 00:27:08.557 --> 00:27:12.373 However far he may go from me, he’ll definitely remember his mother. 00:27:19.675 --> 00:27:22.649 Dr. Mehta: I wouldn't say that all the negative parts of the prison 00:27:22.649 --> 00:27:24.658 can be ruled out by the mother's love. 00:27:25.159 --> 00:27:30.441 But one has to make the compromise, because if the child is outside the prison, 00:27:31.183 --> 00:27:33.603 he doesn't have care of the mother. 00:27:34.086 --> 00:27:37.616 First, let the child's basic needs be fulfilled with the mother and 00:27:37.616 --> 00:27:42.246 when he is out of the prison, he can learn other things later in life. 00:27:47.233 --> 00:27:49.369 Narrator: It’s time for the final hand-off. 00:27:51.828 --> 00:27:55.601 At the meeting window, four feet of wire separates Lajjo from her family. 00:27:56.771 --> 00:27:59.033 Seeing them never gets any easier. 00:28:04.367 --> 00:28:06.807 Lajjo: When you get separated from your family, you feel terrible. 00:28:07.519 --> 00:28:10.717 It’s been three years since I left my kids; I really miss them. 00:28:14.336 --> 00:28:18.496 Narrator: And now, Lajjo is moments away from losing the last child she had. 00:28:41.207 --> 00:28:45.769 Lajjo: I brought him up since he was so small, so now I feel he's going far away from me. 00:28:47.873 --> 00:28:49.725 But he's going home after all. 00:28:50.099 --> 00:28:51.676 They'll take good care of him. 00:28:51.676 --> 00:28:53.786 They won't let him feel that his mother is not there. 00:28:56.793 --> 00:28:59.847 Narrator: There is just one more door that locks Rohit from the outside world. 00:29:04.525 --> 00:29:07.321 Lajjo's family waits eagerly in the sunlight. 00:29:08.764 --> 00:29:11.446 Rohit can hardly contain his excitement. 00:29:20.591 --> 00:29:26.865 After three years in prison, Rohit leaves Tihar, hopefully, never to return. 00:29:32.203 --> 00:29:34.775 Everything he has known and loved lies behind him. 00:29:36.866 --> 00:29:45.178 He has no idea what this new world is going to be like, but he is ready to take it all in stride. 00:29:48.447 --> 00:29:51.308 For Lajjo, prison has never seemed a bleaker place. 00:29:52.748 --> 00:29:58.413 Lajjo: I had dreamt a lot of things for him, but they brought and dumped me into this prison. 00:29:59.711 --> 00:30:01.297 Now I’ll keep him at home. 00:30:01.948 --> 00:30:04.558 I won't let this prison influence his life. 00:30:10.096 --> 00:30:12.941 Narrator: Inside the prison, it’s just another day. 00:30:16.893 --> 00:30:20.027 For now these children have their mothers to watch over them. 00:30:22.001 --> 00:30:24.204 Sapna: A child's future is in the mother's hand. 00:30:24.204 --> 00:30:26.666 If the mother is not there, then who will help them make their future? 00:30:27.546 --> 00:30:31.846 That's what every mother wants: her child to study, do well and become someone. 00:30:33.284 --> 00:30:36.754 That's a mother, only a mother does that. 00:30:38.874 --> 00:30:43.698 Narrator: And like every other mother, all these women want is what's best for their children. 00:30:46.241 --> 00:30:49.370 For the moment, they've found it in this prison. 00:30:54.636 --> 00:30:59.733 The mothers in Tihar Prison prefer to have their children grow up under their watchful eyes. 00:31:02.291 --> 00:31:06.898 And in today’s world, mothers everywhere worry about what can happen 00:31:07.556 --> 00:31:09.937 to children raised without enough supervision. 00:31:11.818 --> 00:31:18.520 But there are cultures where children are given an unusual amount of freedom and thrive on it. 00:31:29.584 --> 00:31:31.284 Would you let your children play with fire? 00:31:34.852 --> 00:31:37.276 Or smoke cigarettes at age six? 00:31:40.447 --> 00:31:45.023 Or go swimming in a nearby river without a parent or lifeguard in sight? 00:31:48.751 --> 00:31:54.156 How about if your kids wandered off on their own for hours or even days without coming home? 00:31:56.782 --> 00:32:01.360 If these were your kids, such behavior would probably be taboo. 00:32:01.807 --> 00:32:04.944 Woman: If my child were gone for several days without any contact, 00:32:04.944 --> 00:32:09.815 I would be calling the police, hunting the back woods, looking everywhere for that child. 00:32:10.154 --> 00:32:13.678 I totally disagree with a six-year-old being unsupervised doing anything 00:32:13.678 --> 00:32:15.253 let alone in a body of water. 00:32:15.590 --> 00:32:18.425 Man: Parents who let their six-year-old child smoke cigarettes 00:32:18.425 --> 00:32:20.175 should not be allowed to have children. 00:32:20.175 --> 00:32:24.162 Woman: If my six year-old was caught building fires, I’d probably beat his behind. 00:32:24.634 --> 00:32:29.650 I would never let my child go off six days, six minutes, six hours 00:32:29.650 --> 00:32:31.918 without me knowing what in the world is going on. Never. 00:32:31.918 --> 00:32:38.508 Narrator: But among the Mentawai people on Siberut Island in Indonesia, 00:32:38.508 --> 00:32:41.198 Western parenting rules don’t apply. 00:32:42.532 --> 00:32:47.499 In fact, parents aren’t even as important as in many cultures, because here, 00:32:47.499 --> 00:32:52.197 children are raised as much by relatives and each other as by their mothers and fathers. 00:32:58.964 --> 00:33:03.130 Goibiat is about seven or eight years old. Nobody knows for sure, 00:33:03.130 --> 00:33:05.055 since time is less important here. 00:33:07.097 --> 00:33:09.222 He lives with his extended family in the village of 00:33:09.222 --> 00:33:13.282 Sakuddei in a big house built on stilts to protect it from flooding. 00:33:15.187 --> 00:33:20.652 The house and the clan that lives in it, including grandparents, three aunts and five uncles 00:33:20.652 --> 00:33:25.186 is called an uma…in this case, “Uma Sakuddei.” 00:33:34.560 --> 00:33:40.077 Among the Mentawai, the nuclear family is far less important than the clan 00:33:40.077 --> 00:33:43.252 usually five to ten families related on the father’s side. 00:33:47.987 --> 00:33:51.496 Children grow up with many adults to interact with 00:33:52.928 --> 00:33:56.333 or not, because kids here are given free rein. 00:33:59.281 --> 00:34:04.361 They may roll in the mud or spend hours hiking through a forest 00:34:04.361 --> 00:34:09.674 filled with dangerous wild animals, entirely on their own. 00:34:14.535 --> 00:34:19.796 Much of what Goibiat learns comes from imitating his cousin Kelak, who’s about 12. 00:34:21.731 --> 00:34:24.990 Small: Older kids teach younger kids. 00:34:24.990 --> 00:34:26.528 Adults don’t have to watch them. 00:34:26.528 --> 00:34:28.223 It really frees up adult time. 00:34:28.223 --> 00:34:31.774 This is probably the way the human evolutionary path started. 00:34:31.774 --> 00:34:37.252 Four million years ago, we lived in small kin-based clan groups, so it was always like that. 00:34:38.366 --> 00:34:42.693 At the uma, Goibiat’s life is a mixture of play and simple chores. 00:34:47.399 --> 00:34:51.847 My favorite things to do are canoeing and swimming in the river near uma. 00:34:53.159 --> 00:34:57.361 Then I go to the chicken farm to feed the chickens and then out to play again. 00:34:58.619 --> 00:35:02.279 When the boys get a little older, they’ll venture out for days at a time, 00:35:02.279 --> 00:35:04.256 welcomed into any home along the river. 00:35:09.991 --> 00:35:16.504 Here, miles from towns and cities, danger comes not from other people, but from wild animals. 00:35:18.605 --> 00:35:22.495 The latest harrowing attack dominates tonight’s storytelling. 00:35:23.699 --> 00:35:29.667 The clan gathers together as grandfather relates how he and the uncles battled a wild boar. 00:35:30.963 --> 00:35:35.733 Storyteller: A few hours out, we saw the wild boar, so Riaba tried to shoot it. 00:35:36.591 --> 00:35:41.227 That made the pig mad and it charged and attacked Siruruk and gored him with its tusk. 00:35:43.559 --> 00:35:48.019 Narrator: As they listen, family members change the wounded uncle’s bandages. 00:35:51.163 --> 00:35:58.558 Many parents elsewhere would shield children from his pain. Here, it’s accepted as a part of life. 00:36:01.221 --> 00:36:03.628 Uncle Ja Gao works on his arrows. 00:36:04.956 --> 00:36:08.987 He’s the family’s best hunter, the one who mortally wounded the wild boar. 00:36:11.278 --> 00:36:14.494 Storyteller: Ja Gao shot the pig with an arrow. 00:36:16.128 --> 00:36:17.698 We’d finally killed it. 00:36:17.698 --> 00:36:20.618 This was the biggest, strongest pig we had ever hunted. 00:36:21.026 --> 00:36:23.959 Maybe it had some magical strength that made it so hard to kill. 00:36:26.078 --> 00:36:30.390 Narrator: Adults don’t shield children from the spoils of hunting, either. 00:36:31.481 --> 00:36:34.532 Wild animal skulls hang from the rafters of the uma. 00:36:36.453 --> 00:36:39.098 Western children might call it a haunted house. 00:36:40.425 --> 00:36:44.253 But here, youngsters learn that animal spirits serve their ancestors, 00:36:44.253 --> 00:36:47.220 which in turn protect the family. 00:36:53.794 --> 00:36:57.861 The next morning, it’s the boys’ turn to go hunting with the uncles, 00:36:59.488 --> 00:37:01.158 time to continue their lessons. 00:37:01.823 --> 00:37:05.454 In this society, relatives provide much of a child’s education. 00:37:07.700 --> 00:37:11.049 Uncles Ja Gao and Gabari are uniquely qualified. 00:37:13.764 --> 00:37:19.102 They’re shamans, among the society’s elite who can communicate with the spirit world. 00:37:20.878 --> 00:37:27.091 Today their prey is a lot less ferocious than wild boar: plants. 00:37:32.505 --> 00:37:34.990 The young boys wield sharp machetes. 00:37:35.497 --> 00:37:39.676 They’re lethal weapons, but no one seems to worry that they’re in the hands of children. 00:37:41.050 --> 00:37:45.229 But like boys everywhere, Goibiat and Kelak aren’t just thinking about their lessons. 00:37:49.694 --> 00:37:56.219 They’ve managed to uncover what passes for candy in this part of the world, 00:37:56.594 --> 00:38:00.903 sago grubs, the larvae of the Capricorn beetle. 00:38:02.057 --> 00:38:07.422 To Goibiat, as delicious as a chocolate bar, but just a bit more wriggly. 00:38:10.394 --> 00:38:12.166 The uncles pick up their pace. 00:38:12.592 --> 00:38:15.056 Tonight will be an important night in the uma. 00:38:17.633 --> 00:38:20.826 A man sick with fever has arrived from a neighboring clan. 00:38:23.862 --> 00:38:27.759 The shamans know exactly which plants to choose for the healing ceremony. 00:38:28.362 --> 00:38:29.965 That’s why they brought the boys along. 00:38:33.533 --> 00:38:37.026 Mentawai shamans are entrusted with passing on their knowledge 00:38:37.026 --> 00:38:40.596 of as many as a thousand plants in this tropical forest. 00:38:43.133 --> 00:38:50.020 Someday Goibiat too could be a shaman, if he watches closely and learns their secrets. 00:38:55.562 --> 00:38:59.653 Coming up: The shamans try to placate angry spirits. 00:39:04.053 --> 00:39:07.681 Goibiat’s education continues that night in the uma. 00:39:08.327 --> 00:39:11.925 The children’s presence is accepted at the healing ceremony. 00:39:13.996 --> 00:39:15.506 Nothing here is censored. 00:39:18.096 --> 00:39:22.701 Once in a trance, the shaman’s goal is to placate angry spirits, 00:39:23.735 --> 00:39:26.731 whom they hold responsible for illness and suffering. 00:39:30.703 --> 00:39:33.128 The children stay up late into the night. 00:39:34.788 --> 00:39:39.451 There are no scoldings, no worries about getting enough sleep. 00:39:42.020 --> 00:39:44.966 They’re not excluded, they learn first-hand. 00:39:48.249 --> 00:39:51.735 Ceremonies like this are at the heart of uma life, 00:39:51.735 --> 00:39:56.855 in a culture struggling to hold on to its traditions despite constant pressure from the outside. 00:40:01.629 --> 00:40:05.788 For Goibiat’s way of life is beset by change. 00:40:07.703 --> 00:40:10.669 He has grown up a free spirit in an extended family, 00:40:10.669 --> 00:40:13.696 taking his lessons from the forest around him. 00:40:17.389 --> 00:40:21.835 Yet at the same time, the Indonesian government has long urged his people 00:40:21.835 --> 00:40:26.543 to live as nuclear families in villages where children can attend school. 00:40:29.131 --> 00:40:32.129 These changes have had mixed results for Goibiat. 00:40:34.021 --> 00:40:37.795 His parents are now building a second home in a village with a school, 00:40:37.795 --> 00:40:39.901 half-an-hour downstream from the uma. 00:40:42.667 --> 00:40:48.188 Goibiat’s father, Gulakeu, has decided it’s time to give his son a more formal education. 00:40:51.049 --> 00:40:55.367 Aman Gulakeu: I want Goibiat to go to school and learn to write and to speak Indonesian. 00:40:57.126 --> 00:41:00.495 I want him to be smart and then help with the family business. 00:41:01.556 --> 00:41:05.614 If I have dried coconut, he can deal with the trader. 00:41:08.224 --> 00:41:11.281 Narrator: Traders are increasingly important to the Mentawai. 00:41:12.096 --> 00:41:14.937 They bring them tobacco, to which they are addicted. 00:41:16.329 --> 00:41:21.770 But though Gulakeu has high hopes for his son, the boy sees little relevance in his schoolwork. 00:41:23.993 --> 00:41:28.167 His heart remains back at the uma, where he’s used to a different way of learning. 00:41:33.700 --> 00:41:36.604 Goibiat’s lack of interest worries his teacher. 00:41:39.829 --> 00:41:43.888 Teacher: Every single time I see him, he goes to school without his book, pen, 00:41:43.888 --> 00:41:47.702 and most of the time he just listens and watches. 00:41:50.364 --> 00:41:53.904 He often doesn’t even go to school because his parents take him to the jungle 00:41:53.904 --> 00:41:55.990 or to the uma to work in the forest. 00:42:02.191 --> 00:42:06.054 Narrator: In Western culture, it’s considered taboo to let your child cut school. 00:42:09.296 --> 00:42:13.699 But to Goibiat’s father, the old ways of learning still outrank the new. 00:42:16.965 --> 00:42:19.959 Gulakeu: I would like him to stay in school for two or three years, 00:42:19.959 --> 00:42:22.965 but after he’s finished, I will teach him the Mentawai way. 00:42:26.190 --> 00:42:31.285 I was taught these things by my parents, and now it’s my turn to teach Goibiat. 00:42:32.626 --> 00:42:36.424 He will learn from me and then when he grows up he can continue the tradition 00:42:36.424 --> 00:42:38.164 by teaching the next generation. 00:42:42.793 --> 00:42:46.612 Narrator: In America, parents celebrate taking their children to work one day a year. 00:42:49.095 --> 00:42:52.965 But what Mommy and Daddy do all day isn’t a mystery to Mentawai children. 00:42:55.460 --> 00:42:58.998 From an early age, they’re initiated into what it takes to make a living. 00:43:01.224 --> 00:43:03.857 Small: Children are part of the work force. 00:43:03.857 --> 00:43:05.567 They’re a part of what’s going on. 00:43:05.567 --> 00:43:08.654 They’re in the fields; they’re running around. 00:43:08.654 --> 00:43:14.594 In America, you can go through day after day and not see a single child. 00:43:17.834 --> 00:43:22.029 Narrator: In teaching his son, Gulakeu emphasizes practical skills. 00:43:24.529 --> 00:43:26.739 Gulakeu: I teach him to walk in the jungle. 00:43:26.739 --> 00:43:31.194 We have to be quiet when we see a monkey, so I teach him strategies for hunting. 00:43:35.023 --> 00:43:39.096 And then I teach him to find the good wood to build a house in the future when he needs it. 00:43:39.707 --> 00:43:42.427 Also some rattan to make a string for the bow. 00:43:47.934 --> 00:43:51.956 The things that I teach him now, to feed the pig, to go to the river, 00:43:51.956 --> 00:43:54.226 it’s going to be his duty in the future. 00:44:01.614 --> 00:44:04.701 It’s already evident the boys are learning their lessons well. 00:44:07.595 --> 00:44:16.095 Cutting school may be taboo elsewhere, but Goibiat uses the time to perfect his survival skills. 00:44:19.794 --> 00:44:24.499 Who’s to argue; in less than a decade, he may well have a family to feed. 00:44:28.260 --> 00:44:29.967 But he won’t lose sleep over it. 00:44:33.394 --> 00:44:36.461 For the Mentawai believe in taking life slow. 00:44:40.508 --> 00:44:47.829 The spirits disapprove of rushing around, so there’s always time, for the children. 00:44:53.455 --> 00:44:56.336 Time to make certain they learn the traditions of the clan, 00:45:01.455 --> 00:45:04.702 to prepare them to take their places as Mentawai adults 00:45:10.057 --> 00:45:13.907 and pass on the culture to the next generation. 00:45:21.023 --> 00:45:23.231 Small: The tightness or the looseness of the bond between 00:45:23.231 --> 00:45:26.857 a mother and an infant and what is expected or what is acceptable in a society 00:45:26.857 --> 00:45:30.562 is actually a picture of the society as a whole. 00:45:30.562 --> 00:45:34.297 How do they feel about relationships how do they feel about family, 00:45:34.297 --> 00:45:35.855 how do they feel about work? 00:45:35.855 --> 00:45:38.699 It’s all part of the ideology of a culture. 00:45:39.289 --> 00:45:42.929 Narrator: What one culture considers proper another considers taboo. 00:45:44.657 --> 00:45:49.827 From the freedom of the Mentawai children, to the tight bond of mothers and children 00:45:49.827 --> 00:45:55.286 in Indian prisons, to the challenging life of the young Chinese gymnast, 00:45:55.768 --> 00:45:59.972 our choices in child rearing say a great deal about who we are. 00:46:01.225 --> 00:46:04.703 What parenting style is taboo for you?