1 00:00:01,364 --> 00:00:05,448 By whom should children be raised? 2 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:12,112 By parents, most would say, but the answer isn’t always that simple 3 00:00:12,399 --> 00:00:14,378 and it varies from culture to culture. 4 00:00:15,341 --> 00:00:20,826 What one group sees as the ideal way to raise a child may be another’s taboo. 5 00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:27,486 Meredith Small: Every culture believes that what they’re doing is the perfect thing for children. 6 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:31,495 Narrator: Meredith Small is a professor of anthropology at Cornell University. 7 00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:35,170 Small: It’s only when we step back and look at the other cultures that we can actually 8 00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,983 look at our own cultures and see how different it is. 9 00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:51,119 Narrator: A few years before China will host its first Olympic games, the people of its capital, 10 00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:54,609 Beijing, are feeling the pressure. 11 00:00:54,909 --> 00:00:58,389 For many in China, and especially its Communist leaders, 12 00:00:58,389 --> 00:01:03,420 the 2008 games will be the most important ever. 13 00:01:04,553 --> 00:01:10,311 In fact, China’s quest for gold means some children are growing up under circumstances 14 00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:13,041 many might find taboo. 15 00:01:16,731 --> 00:01:22,649 It’s a common scene—a family sharing a meal at home. 16 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:27,982 For ten-year-old Li Yang, however, this is no longer home. 17 00:01:28,444 --> 00:01:34,033 And meals with his parents are rare, because Li Yang only comes here on weekends. 18 00:01:34,986 --> 00:01:41,981 He’s an aspiring gymnast and he’s being raised not by his mom and dad, but by the state. 19 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:48,013 When he was just a toddler, the state-run sports system selected him for training. 20 00:01:48,732 --> 00:01:53,817 Father: He was three-and-a-half years old when he was chosen out of pre-school. 21 00:01:53,817 --> 00:01:58,879 His pre-school had 500 students and they chose two. 22 00:01:59,555 --> 00:02:04,054 Narrator: Then, Li Yang’s coaches gave his parents a very difficult choice: 23 00:02:04,054 --> 00:02:11,056 They could set their only child on course to become a professional gymnast, 24 00:02:11,516 --> 00:02:13,312 but there would be a price. 25 00:02:15,705 --> 00:02:21,298 At the tender age of six, Li Yang would have to leave his family’s loving care to live at 26 00:02:21,298 --> 00:02:27,445 a state-run boarding school where he would undergo years of grueling training, 27 00:02:27,445 --> 00:02:32,988 involving pain, tears, and the risk of physical injury. 28 00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:44,124 Narrator: Many parents might find that price too high, particularly in China. 29 00:02:44,467 --> 00:02:48,912 The country’s “one child” policy meant that Li Yang’s parents would be giving up 30 00:02:48,912 --> 00:02:54,986 the only child they would ever have, but Li Yang’s father was eager for his son to go. 31 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,466 Father: I didn’t have any doubts. 32 00:02:58,466 --> 00:03:01,855 Of course I wanted to send him there. 33 00:03:01,855 --> 00:03:05,227 I hope he will be the world champion. 34 00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:12,085 Narrator: For aspiring gymnasts, there is no better training ground than the 35 00:03:12,085 --> 00:03:15,723 Shi Cha Hai sports school in Beijing. 36 00:03:17,207 --> 00:03:22,977 Shi Cha Hai graduates often go on to China’s national gymnastics team, one of the world’s best. 37 00:03:31,506 --> 00:03:38,413 But when Li Yang first enrolled, he was just six, far too young to understand what was at stake. 38 00:03:38,413 --> 00:03:46,679 Li Yang: When they picked me, I didn’t know anything, so I didn’t think much about it. 39 00:03:49,068 --> 00:03:52,986 Now after I’ve learned some, I think that learning gymnastics is pretty good. 40 00:03:56,619 --> 00:04:02,137 Narrator: It may be great training, but it comes at the cost of a traditional childhood. 41 00:04:03,674 --> 00:04:06,442 Playtime is replaced by grueling workouts. 42 00:04:08,985 --> 00:04:14,202 Susan Brownell: Parents recognize that the sports school life is what they call bitter. 43 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:21,170 They recognize that these athletes have to endure a lot of physical fatigue and pain. 44 00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:24,254 Narrator: Susan Brownell is an associate professor of anthropology at 45 00:04:24,254 --> 00:04:27,365 the University of Missouri St. Louis. 46 00:04:27,365 --> 00:04:34,162 Brownell: The parents, probably in most cases, hope that the child will become a star, 47 00:04:34,229 --> 00:04:39,003 will make an Olympic team, win a gold medal, win glory for China. 48 00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:49,201 Narrator: From the start, the lives of these budding Chinese sports stars are far removed 49 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:53,776 from the comforts of home. 50 00:04:53,776 --> 00:05:00,786 Every morning, each child is awoken at six a.m., and not by his mother. 51 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:10,799 Woman: Listen up, Li yang, you count. 52 00:05:12,359 --> 00:05:14,198 Li Yang: Okay, one, two… 53 00:05:16,391 --> 00:05:20,334 Narrator: Even before breakfast, the students begin their training with a run. 54 00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:23,261 It’s boot camp for six-year-olds. 55 00:05:25,090 --> 00:05:31,235 In a world without parents, it’s up to senior students like Li Yang, just 10 himself, 56 00:05:31,235 --> 00:05:35,534 to show the younger boys how to get by on their own. 57 00:05:37,945 --> 00:05:43,773 Meals always mean cafeteria food, not mom’s home cooking. 58 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:54,286 Then, it’s time for school, but here too the children are paying a price. 59 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,585 Li Yang has only half-a-day to spend in class. 60 00:06:03,241 --> 00:06:08,426 By noon, his school day is over. 61 00:06:12,669 --> 00:06:18,466 Then, while most kids his age are in their afternoon lessons, Li Yang reports to the gym 62 00:06:18,466 --> 00:06:21,715 for three hours of strenuous training. 63 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:33,713 Li Yang is learning less than kids who spend all day in school, but the longer he trains, 64 00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:36,285 the less he can afford to give it up. 65 00:06:37,749 --> 00:06:42,245 Li Yang: I’ve trained for seven years already. 66 00:06:42,245 --> 00:06:46,519 If I stop now, then my efforts would be lost. 67 00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:52,860 Narrator: But in the end, all this may be for naught. 68 00:06:54,097 --> 00:07:01,993 After the years of training, the time spent away from his parents, Li Yang may not make it 69 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,872 because, in fact, very few do. 70 00:07:05,875 --> 00:07:10,637 Brownell: Realistically, as you find anywhere in the world, including the U.S., 71 00:07:10,637 --> 00:07:15,090 very few of the children actually make it to the top. 72 00:07:15,714 --> 00:07:23,144 And the rest may get some benefits out of having gone through this kind of process and 73 00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:27,821 some may actually come out of it worse than they would have if they had just 74 00:07:27,821 --> 00:07:30,829 pursued a normal life in the regular school system. 75 00:07:33,302 --> 00:07:36,910 Narrator: More and more in China, where the government insists most couples 76 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:41,972 have just one child, fewer families are willing to take that risk. 77 00:07:44,841 --> 00:07:50,070 In fact, many people are starting to view the state-run sports schools as taboo. 78 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:58,481 Man: It’s good to train the body, but it’s better when one obtains good grades. 79 00:07:59,199 --> 00:08:01,294 I don’t think there’s much future in that. 80 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,200 They just do it for the country. 81 00:08:09,751 --> 00:08:13,954 Narrator: The athletes at the Shi Cha Hai sports school soon learn that training is 82 00:08:13,954 --> 00:08:18,958 excruciatingly hard work. 83 00:08:24,979 --> 00:08:28,648 Their coaches can be strict; they rarely offer praise. 84 00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:34,697 Coach: What, your butt doesn’t have any strength? 85 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:38,469 What’s wrong, didn’t you eat enough? Why are you so slow? 86 00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:42,535 Narrator: Jiang Changzhu is the head gymnastics coach. 87 00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:47,131 Coach: To be a coach is very difficult. 88 00:08:47,131 --> 00:08:52,662 On one hand, we have to train them; and on the other hand, we have to take care of them. 89 00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,737 We’re more in contact with them than their parents. 90 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:04,272 Narrator: But many parents might question this kind of care. 91 00:09:07,661 --> 00:09:12,603 To help the children increase their flexibility, the coaches teach them to stretch their 92 00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:17,526 backs and limbs beyond their natural limits. 93 00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:29,166 Even the five and six-year-olds are bent, crushed and pulled, sometimes until they cry. 94 00:09:33,343 --> 00:09:39,171 Coach: I guess I would say the ones who cry aren’t as flexible, 95 00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:43,436 which is a requirement of the sport. 96 00:09:43,436 --> 00:09:45,744 There’s no way to avoid it. 97 00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:51,294 Li Yang: You haven’t cried since you came here? 98 00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:52,868 Boy: I don’t believe that. 99 00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:55,695 Boy: I haven’t cried since I came here. 100 00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:02,914 Narrator: The school discourages parents from watching the training. 101 00:10:06,052 --> 00:10:09,725 But Li Yang’s father is not harboring any illusions. 102 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:14,959 Father: It’s not bad for a child to face some hardship. 103 00:10:15,938 --> 00:10:18,307 Only after hardship can there be sweetness. 104 00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:23,123 Brownell: Parents really do not have much say in how the school operates. 105 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:28,881 The coaches answer not to the parents, but to the administrators above them. 106 00:10:29,726 --> 00:10:35,306 It’s not like in the U.S., for example, where the coach is being paid by the parent 107 00:10:35,306 --> 00:10:36,775 to coach the athlete. 108 00:10:40,823 --> 00:10:45,769 Narrator: Every child must also face the daunting prospect that just one accident 109 00:10:45,769 --> 00:10:50,927 could result in a permanent physical injury or worse. 110 00:10:51,644 --> 00:10:54,896 Woman: All roads have danger. 111 00:10:54,896 --> 00:11:01,427 If you want to be an athlete, you have to be willing to sacrifice things for your life. 112 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:07,816 Narrator: Coming up, a budding young gymnast competes at a world meet 113 00:11:07,816 --> 00:11:10,493 and suffers a tragic injury. 114 00:11:11,370 --> 00:11:15,599 And later, meet toddlers being raised in prison. 115 00:11:19,129 --> 00:11:24,601 Few understand the sacrifices gymnasts face better than Sang Lan. 116 00:11:26,575 --> 00:11:31,676 In the 1990s, Sang Lan represented China in competitions around the world. 117 00:11:33,307 --> 00:11:36,918 Then at the 1998 Goodwill Games in New York, 118 00:11:37,612 --> 00:11:42,726 she made a slight hesitation during a practice vault and landed on her head. 119 00:11:44,335 --> 00:11:46,088 She was 17. 120 00:11:46,519 --> 00:11:49,341 Sang Lan: I could tell that the injury was quite serious. 121 00:11:54,094 --> 00:11:58,643 Narrator: Today, Sang Lan has little feeling below her mid-chest. 122 00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:07,606 Sang Lan: But I really couldn’t imagine that I wouldn’t be able to walk in the future. 123 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:11,879 I really couldn’t imagine it. 124 00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:18,663 Narrator: It’s a sobering reminder of how dangerous this path can be. 125 00:12:19,821 --> 00:12:23,184 In Sang Lan’s case, she was able to bounce back. 126 00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:29,117 A university student, about to launch her own TV sports show, 127 00:12:29,117 --> 00:12:34,401 she insists her gymnastics training gave her the fortitude to carry on despite her injury. 128 00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:38,954 Sang Lan: People will always have times when they feel regret. 129 00:12:38,954 --> 00:12:41,843 You may think if I hadn’t started training in gymnastics, 130 00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:44,761 then these things wouldn’t have happened. 131 00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:47,787 But I feel you can’t think of it that way. 132 00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:51,973 I still love gymnastics. 133 00:12:54,313 --> 00:12:56,983 Narrator: It’s a sentiment shared by other former gymnasts, 134 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:03,870 even after their long years of bone crushing work. 135 00:13:04,669 --> 00:13:10,405 After graduating from Shi Cha Hai sports school, Kui Yuan Yuan went onto win 136 00:13:10,405 --> 00:13:13,926 a bronze medal at the 2000 Olympics. 137 00:13:16,411 --> 00:13:22,027 Now retired at age 22, she has opened her own gymnastics school in Beijing. 138 00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:31,615 Kui Yuan Yuan: I think that after training in gymnastics, as I grew up, 139 00:13:31,615 --> 00:13:36,476 none of my difficulties were greater than the ones I faced in training. 140 00:13:36,476 --> 00:13:40,363 I think if I could get through that, then I could face anything. 141 00:13:42,703 --> 00:13:47,034 Narrator: Of course, there are many advantages to life as a young Chinese gymnast, 142 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,282 in spite of the risks and hardships. 143 00:13:51,253 --> 00:13:56,661 Li Yang’s mother works 15-hour days, so she is not home to care for her son. 144 00:13:59,947 --> 00:14:06,024 Life at an athletic school provides supervision, as well as the companionship 145 00:14:06,024 --> 00:14:10,803 of other children, no small thing for a generation of only children raised 146 00:14:10,803 --> 00:14:13,587 under China’s one child policy. 147 00:14:16,183 --> 00:14:19,693 And twice a week in the evenings, parents can stop by and visit. 148 00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:29,834 Father: Did you finish your homework? Did you train well? 149 00:14:30,362 --> 00:14:33,632 Narrator: And although many Westerners may find it odd to give one’s children 150 00:14:33,632 --> 00:14:38,395 over to the care of strangers, it’s not so unusual in China. 151 00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:44,832 Brownell: There is a tradition in China of sending your children off to live with other people 152 00:14:44,832 --> 00:14:48,497 if you think other people can provide better opportunities. 153 00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:54,977 In America, we tend to think that families live together and being together all the time 154 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:58,774 is one of the essential things about being a family. 155 00:14:58,774 --> 00:15:04,051 But in China, people are able to maintain very strong notions of family and 156 00:15:04,051 --> 00:15:07,931 a sense of emotional connectiveness even when they're apart. 157 00:15:11,729 --> 00:15:15,131 Narrator: Will Li Yang fulfill his dream and make the Olympic team? 158 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,758 It’s too soon to tell. 159 00:15:19,474 --> 00:15:25,563 He and his parents have given up the daily joys of family life for the slim chance, 160 00:15:25,563 --> 00:15:31,007 the very slim chance, that Li Yang will become a star gymnast for China. 161 00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:40,495 The parents of young Chinese gymnasts like Li Yang are willing to let them 162 00:15:40,495 --> 00:15:42,587 be raised by coaches. 163 00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:49,093 But there are other places where the idea of having children raised by strangers 164 00:15:49,093 --> 00:15:52,370 of any kind would be taboo. 165 00:15:53,798 --> 00:15:58,288 There, the bond between mother and child is deemed so important that 166 00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:02,933 mothers will take their children with them even into the most hostile of environments. 167 00:16:14,327 --> 00:16:16,539 Tihar Prison in New Delhi, India. 168 00:16:19,352 --> 00:16:27,926 It's the largest prison in Asia; 75,000 prisoners shuffle through here every year. 169 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:34,933 India's leading terrorists, criminals and drug lords are kept here. 170 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:43,937 Even the women's ward is full of inmates charged with theft, drugs, and murder. 171 00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:49,412 It’s the last place a child should call home. 172 00:16:51,046 --> 00:16:55,570 Yet this is where about 50 children live, learn and play. 173 00:16:56,727 --> 00:17:02,473 They are the children of women prisoners. Some were born here. 174 00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:06,167 Others have lived here for months, even years. 175 00:17:08,183 --> 00:17:12,158 Nearly all of them have little memory of the world outside. 176 00:17:12,809 --> 00:17:15,701 Sapna: They don't see the moon because they're locked up. 177 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:21,157 Lajjo: Ice cream, chocolate, you get that outside, but you can't get any of that in here. 178 00:17:24,453 --> 00:17:28,900 Narrator: A prison is never the ideal place to bring up a child, but sometimes, 179 00:17:28,900 --> 00:17:32,680 it can be the best place to do so. 180 00:17:33,309 --> 00:17:40,444 In some countries, the idea of making a child pay for the sins of its mother would be taboo. 181 00:17:41,124 --> 00:17:43,381 Man: I wouldn’t make the kid live there; that doesn’t seem right. 182 00:17:43,381 --> 00:17:44,721 The kid didn’t do anything wrong. 183 00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:46,979 Woman: They’re the ones that took the risk to get into prison; 184 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:48,716 the child shouldn’t have to go down with them. 185 00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:52,237 She gives up every right and every freedom as soon as she gets convicted. 186 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:56,193 Narrator: But here in India, people see it differently. 187 00:18:02,302 --> 00:18:06,880 The women's prison here in Tihar has eight wards housing 500 women. 188 00:18:09,483 --> 00:18:14,320 Tihar has been called a model prison: quiet, disciplined, orderly. 189 00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:19,433 But there's one building where the rules don't always apply. 190 00:18:20,762 --> 00:18:22,819 It’s called the children's barrack. 191 00:18:25,094 --> 00:18:27,815 And this is where the real outlaws live. 192 00:18:30,452 --> 00:18:35,000 Meet Rohit, the terror of Tihar. 193 00:18:39,756 --> 00:18:43,056 His mother, Lajjo, is struggling to keep him in control. 194 00:18:47,713 --> 00:18:50,906 Lajjo and Rohit have been in prison for over three years. 195 00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:55,973 Lajjo is charged with being an accessory to the murder of her sister-in-law. 196 00:18:57,245 --> 00:19:02,734 Lajjo's husband stayed in Dubai and she left her older daughters with her family, 197 00:19:02,734 --> 00:19:04,855 but Rohit she brought inside. 198 00:19:05,355 --> 00:19:09,172 Lajjo: He was a year and a half old when I brought him in. I was breastfeeding him. 199 00:19:09,172 --> 00:19:11,248 He couldn't have lived without me then. 200 00:19:12,630 --> 00:19:17,767 Narrator: But Rohit is now five years old, and Lajjo is still fighting her case. 201 00:19:18,846 --> 00:19:24,850 Like Lajjo, about 90% of the women inside Tihar are not convicts. 202 00:19:24,850 --> 00:19:27,099 They are women awaiting trial. 203 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:33,130 The Indian courts are so clogged that it takes them years to grant bail or hear a case. 204 00:19:33,130 --> 00:19:39,079 So the law allows mothers to raise a child in prison until the child turns six. 205 00:19:39,079 --> 00:19:43,197 For most people, keeping kids in prison would be highly taboo. 206 00:19:43,197 --> 00:19:47,332 But many of these inmates opt to bring their children inside. 207 00:19:47,332 --> 00:19:50,343 Lajjo: We choose to bring them here if we aren't able to convince ourselves 208 00:19:50,343 --> 00:19:51,965 to leave the kids; we wonder how they'll keep our kids outside. 209 00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:58,132 The way a mother loves her child, nobody else can do that. 210 00:19:58,132 --> 00:20:00,615 A mother is, after all, a mother. 211 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,267 Narrator: It’s a role most Indian women take to heart. 212 00:20:05,267 --> 00:20:10,530 And the one crime they don't want to be accused of is being an unfit mother. 213 00:20:11,063 --> 00:20:13,756 Dr. Manju Mehta: In Indian culture, in lots of our prayers, 214 00:20:13,756 --> 00:20:19,346 in lots of our sayings, the mother has a status which is almost next to god. 215 00:20:19,346 --> 00:20:23,722 So it’s become very important that the mother has to take care of the child. 216 00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:28,420 If anything goes wrong in the child, the blame is on the mother. 217 00:20:28,757 --> 00:20:31,477 Narrator: Dr. Manju Mehta is a child psychologist at the 218 00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:36,789 All India Institute of Medical Sciences in New Delhi, India. 219 00:20:36,789 --> 00:20:41,353 Dr. Mehta: In India, so far even culturally, the fathers have not been very active 220 00:20:41,353 --> 00:20:42,883 in bringing up children. 221 00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:48,756 And that is why the mother feels that she cannot leave the child to father or other relatives 222 00:20:48,756 --> 00:20:51,947 and she feels that whatever the environment is, 223 00:20:51,947 --> 00:20:54,979 she would be the best person to take care of her child. 224 00:20:54,979 --> 00:21:00,143 Narrator: In many countries, mothers aren’t given the choice. 225 00:21:01,265 --> 00:21:06,657 It’s not a question of what’s best for the child, just what’s the best punishment for the mother. 226 00:21:07,276 --> 00:21:11,613 Small: In Western culture, if a woman has to go to prison, she’s separated from her child 227 00:21:11,613 --> 00:21:14,512 as if the child will be perfectly fine without her. 228 00:21:14,512 --> 00:21:16,455 Someone else can bring the kid up. 229 00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:20,944 But I think from the Indian perspective, they consider this some kind of child abuse to separate 230 00:21:20,944 --> 00:21:23,875 this bond that is so important to them. 231 00:21:25,485 --> 00:21:28,626 And for Indian children who don’t follow their mothers to prison, 232 00:21:28,626 --> 00:21:33,005 the situation outside the prison walls can be more abusive than within. 233 00:21:35,478 --> 00:21:41,758 About 18 million children live on the streets of India trying to survive any way they can. 234 00:21:44,257 --> 00:21:47,625 Some resort to begging, others to drugs and prostitution. 235 00:21:50,283 --> 00:21:54,516 Many of the mothers in prison are from the poorer segments of society. 236 00:21:56,296 --> 00:22:00,579 They know that without their guidance, their kids could easily wander the alleyways. 237 00:22:02,671 --> 00:22:07,438 But in the confines of a prison, their children are safe and in their care. 238 00:22:18,619 --> 00:22:22,003 It’s Rohit's turn to lead the prayers at the prison nursery. 239 00:22:23,307 --> 00:22:27,244 The children are kept here while the mothers perform various prison duties. 240 00:22:28,254 --> 00:22:33,696 Inmates like Sapna act as nursery schoolteachers from nine to four every day. 241 00:22:35,752 --> 00:22:41,607 Sapna: They learn their alphabets, poems, numbers, all the things that are taught in a nursery. 242 00:22:45,306 --> 00:22:47,955 Narrator: Sapna's making them practice their alphabets. 243 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,621 But Rohit's already thinking big. 244 00:23:03,627 --> 00:23:05,078 Sapna: My daughter says the same thing. 245 00:23:05,078 --> 00:23:07,474 She says, "I’ll become a judge…" 246 00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:10,076 That's my daughter, Mino. 247 00:23:12,975 --> 00:23:16,337 Narrator: Sapna's in prison on a kidnapping charge. 248 00:23:17,340 --> 00:23:20,583 Her husband is an alcoholic and cannot take care of Mino. 249 00:23:21,723 --> 00:23:23,982 So Sapna has brought her inside. 250 00:23:24,425 --> 00:23:27,301 Sapna: I think it’s better inside. 251 00:23:27,301 --> 00:23:29,333 These children don't care about the world. 252 00:23:29,333 --> 00:23:32,566 All they care about is having their mother, and good food to eat, that's it. 253 00:23:36,935 --> 00:23:40,992 Narrator: It’s in prison that the children learn to love their mothers. 254 00:23:46,121 --> 00:23:48,354 But it’s a lesson that will last them a lifetime. 255 00:24:01,464 --> 00:24:08,142 Dr. Mehta: In the initial ages, the mother-child relationship develops the sense of 256 00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,753 trust and mistrust in the child. 257 00:24:10,753 --> 00:24:14,860 So if the mother is able to take care of the child at that particular time, 258 00:24:14,860 --> 00:24:19,899 he would develop a sense of trust in other people also. 259 00:24:21,802 --> 00:24:25,096 But the children are paying a heavy price for this security. 260 00:24:27,862 --> 00:24:34,331 Coming up, Rohit leaves prison for the first time in three years. 261 00:24:36,032 --> 00:24:42,612 Then, journey to a place where kids run wild and learn to smoke at age six. 262 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:49,293 The taboo of raising kids in prison stems from a harsher reality. 263 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,213 Sapna: They don't see the moon, because they get locked up at six in the night. 264 00:24:54,724 --> 00:24:57,012 They’ve never been to the zoo. 265 00:24:58,523 --> 00:25:01,368 Inside, you just get to see cats, nothing else. 266 00:25:06,145 --> 00:25:09,279 Sapna: The kids who are from the outside would have seen other things. 267 00:25:09,769 --> 00:25:14,453 The kids born here, they have just seen the warden and these bars and us, that's it. 268 00:25:19,678 --> 00:25:24,225 Narrator: These children are limited, not just in their movement, but in their entire reality. 269 00:25:29,512 --> 00:25:32,584 A situation that may work for very young children becomes 270 00:25:32,584 --> 00:25:35,734 increasingly difficult as they get older. 271 00:25:36,282 --> 00:25:38,167 Dr. Mehta: When we look for the younger children, 272 00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:42,107 their basic needs are related to security, belongingness. 273 00:25:42,478 --> 00:25:47,201 But when we come to the older children, their needs are a little different. 274 00:25:47,201 --> 00:25:51,272 Their stimulation and their environment has to be more enriched. 275 00:25:51,272 --> 00:25:55,906 In the prison environment, their experiences become very limited. 276 00:26:01,032 --> 00:26:06,532 That sad reality has become increasingly clear to Lajjo, who worries about Rohit’s future. 277 00:26:07,753 --> 00:26:11,347 Lajjo: If he stays with me, I don't know how long it will take me to get released. 278 00:26:11,758 --> 00:26:13,673 And then the child's education gets affected. 279 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,462 Narrator: After more than three years in prison, 280 00:26:17,462 --> 00:26:21,728 Lajjo has decided to send Rohit home to live with her daughters. 281 00:26:22,371 --> 00:26:26,376 Narrator: Although there are special hostels that look after prison kids, 282 00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:30,609 Lajjo is hesitant to entrust her son to total strangers. 283 00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:36,462 Lajjo: I would never give my son to anybody else. 284 00:26:36,462 --> 00:26:39,613 I am sending him only because it’s my own daughters. 285 00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:51,605 Narrator: It’s Rohit's big day and Lajjo is giving him his last prison bath in cold water. 286 00:26:54,121 --> 00:27:00,779 Lajjo: I am sending him home so he'll study, grow up and become a good human being. 287 00:27:01,947 --> 00:27:05,519 He says that we wants to study and become a big man. 288 00:27:08,557 --> 00:27:12,373 However far he may go from me, he’ll definitely remember his mother. 289 00:27:19,675 --> 00:27:22,649 Dr. Mehta: I wouldn't say that all the negative parts of the prison 290 00:27:22,649 --> 00:27:24,658 can be ruled out by the mother's love. 291 00:27:25,159 --> 00:27:30,441 But one has to make the compromise, because if the child is outside the prison, 292 00:27:31,183 --> 00:27:33,603 he doesn't have care of the mother. 293 00:27:34,086 --> 00:27:37,616 First, let the child's basic needs be fulfilled with the mother and 294 00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:42,246 when he is out of the prison, he can learn other things later in life. 295 00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:49,369 Narrator: It’s time for the final hand-off. 296 00:27:51,828 --> 00:27:55,601 At the meeting window, four feet of wire separates Lajjo from her family. 297 00:27:56,771 --> 00:27:59,033 Seeing them never gets any easier. 298 00:28:04,367 --> 00:28:06,807 Lajjo: When you get separated from your family, you feel terrible. 299 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:10,717 It’s been three years since I left my kids; I really miss them. 300 00:28:14,336 --> 00:28:18,496 Narrator: And now, Lajjo is moments away from losing the last child she had. 301 00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:45,769 Lajjo: I brought him up since he was so small, so now I feel he's going far away from me. 302 00:28:47,873 --> 00:28:49,725 But he's going home after all. 303 00:28:50,099 --> 00:28:51,676 They'll take good care of him. 304 00:28:51,676 --> 00:28:53,786 They won't let him feel that his mother is not there. 305 00:28:56,793 --> 00:28:59,847 Narrator: There is just one more door that locks Rohit from the outside world. 306 00:29:04,525 --> 00:29:07,321 Lajjo's family waits eagerly in the sunlight. 307 00:29:08,764 --> 00:29:11,446 Rohit can hardly contain his excitement. 308 00:29:20,591 --> 00:29:26,865 After three years in prison, Rohit leaves Tihar, hopefully, never to return. 309 00:29:32,203 --> 00:29:34,775 Everything he has known and loved lies behind him. 310 00:29:36,866 --> 00:29:45,178 He has no idea what this new world is going to be like, but he is ready to take it all in stride. 311 00:29:48,447 --> 00:29:51,308 For Lajjo, prison has never seemed a bleaker place. 312 00:29:52,748 --> 00:29:58,413 Lajjo: I had dreamt a lot of things for him, but they brought and dumped me into this prison. 313 00:29:59,711 --> 00:30:01,297 Now I’ll keep him at home. 314 00:30:01,948 --> 00:30:04,558 I won't let this prison influence his life. 315 00:30:10,096 --> 00:30:12,941 Narrator: Inside the prison, it’s just another day. 316 00:30:16,893 --> 00:30:20,027 For now these children have their mothers to watch over them. 317 00:30:22,001 --> 00:30:24,204 Sapna: A child's future is in the mother's hand. 318 00:30:24,204 --> 00:30:26,666 If the mother is not there, then who will help them make their future? 319 00:30:27,546 --> 00:30:31,846 That's what every mother wants: her child to study, do well and become someone. 320 00:30:33,284 --> 00:30:36,754 That's a mother, only a mother does that. 321 00:30:38,874 --> 00:30:43,698 Narrator: And like every other mother, all these women want is what's best for their children. 322 00:30:46,241 --> 00:30:49,370 For the moment, they've found it in this prison. 323 00:30:54,636 --> 00:30:59,733 The mothers in Tihar Prison prefer to have their children grow up under their watchful eyes. 324 00:31:02,291 --> 00:31:06,898 And in today’s world, mothers everywhere worry about what can happen 325 00:31:07,556 --> 00:31:09,937 to children raised without enough supervision. 326 00:31:11,818 --> 00:31:18,520 But there are cultures where children are given an unusual amount of freedom and thrive on it. 327 00:31:29,584 --> 00:31:31,284 Would you let your children play with fire? 328 00:31:34,852 --> 00:31:37,276 Or smoke cigarettes at age six? 329 00:31:40,447 --> 00:31:45,023 Or go swimming in a nearby river without a parent or lifeguard in sight? 330 00:31:48,751 --> 00:31:54,156 How about if your kids wandered off on their own for hours or even days without coming home? 331 00:31:56,782 --> 00:32:01,360 If these were your kids, such behavior would probably be taboo. 332 00:32:01,807 --> 00:32:04,944 Woman: If my child were gone for several days without any contact, 333 00:32:04,944 --> 00:32:09,815 I would be calling the police, hunting the back woods, looking everywhere for that child. 334 00:32:10,154 --> 00:32:13,678 I totally disagree with a six-year-old being unsupervised doing anything 335 00:32:13,678 --> 00:32:15,253 let alone in a body of water. 336 00:32:15,590 --> 00:32:18,425 Man: Parents who let their six-year-old child smoke cigarettes 337 00:32:18,425 --> 00:32:20,175 should not be allowed to have children. 338 00:32:20,175 --> 00:32:24,162 Woman: If my six year-old was caught building fires, I’d probably beat his behind. 339 00:32:24,634 --> 00:32:29,650 I would never let my child go off six days, six minutes, six hours 340 00:32:29,650 --> 00:32:31,918 without me knowing what in the world is going on. Never. 341 00:32:31,918 --> 00:32:38,508 Narrator: But among the Mentawai people on Siberut Island in Indonesia, 342 00:32:38,508 --> 00:32:41,198 Western parenting rules don’t apply. 343 00:32:42,532 --> 00:32:47,499 In fact, parents aren’t even as important as in many cultures, because here, 344 00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:52,197 children are raised as much by relatives and each other as by their mothers and fathers. 345 00:32:58,964 --> 00:33:03,130 Goibiat is about seven or eight years old. Nobody knows for sure, 346 00:33:03,130 --> 00:33:05,055 since time is less important here. 347 00:33:07,097 --> 00:33:09,222 He lives with his extended family in the village of 348 00:33:09,222 --> 00:33:13,282 Sakuddei in a big house built on stilts to protect it from flooding. 349 00:33:15,187 --> 00:33:20,652 The house and the clan that lives in it, including grandparents, three aunts and five uncles 350 00:33:20,652 --> 00:33:25,186 is called an uma…in this case, “Uma Sakuddei.” 351 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:40,077 Among the Mentawai, the nuclear family is far less important than the clan 352 00:33:40,077 --> 00:33:43,252 usually five to ten families related on the father’s side. 353 00:33:47,987 --> 00:33:51,496 Children grow up with many adults to interact with 354 00:33:52,928 --> 00:33:56,333 or not, because kids here are given free rein. 355 00:33:59,281 --> 00:34:04,361 They may roll in the mud or spend hours hiking through a forest 356 00:34:04,361 --> 00:34:09,674 filled with dangerous wild animals, entirely on their own. 357 00:34:14,535 --> 00:34:19,796 Much of what Goibiat learns comes from imitating his cousin Kelak, who’s about 12. 358 00:34:21,731 --> 00:34:24,990 Small: Older kids teach younger kids. 359 00:34:24,990 --> 00:34:26,528 Adults don’t have to watch them. 360 00:34:26,528 --> 00:34:28,223 It really frees up adult time. 361 00:34:28,223 --> 00:34:31,774 This is probably the way the human evolutionary path started. 362 00:34:31,774 --> 00:34:37,252 Four million years ago, we lived in small kin-based clan groups, so it was always like that. 363 00:34:38,366 --> 00:34:42,693 At the uma, Goibiat’s life is a mixture of play and simple chores. 364 00:34:47,399 --> 00:34:51,847 My favorite things to do are canoeing and swimming in the river near uma. 365 00:34:53,159 --> 00:34:57,361 Then I go to the chicken farm to feed the chickens and then out to play again. 366 00:34:58,619 --> 00:35:02,279 When the boys get a little older, they’ll venture out for days at a time, 367 00:35:02,279 --> 00:35:04,256 welcomed into any home along the river. 368 00:35:09,991 --> 00:35:16,504 Here, miles from towns and cities, danger comes not from other people, but from wild animals. 369 00:35:18,605 --> 00:35:22,495 The latest harrowing attack dominates tonight’s storytelling. 370 00:35:23,699 --> 00:35:29,667 The clan gathers together as grandfather relates how he and the uncles battled a wild boar. 371 00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:35,733 Storyteller: A few hours out, we saw the wild boar, so Riaba tried to shoot it. 372 00:35:36,591 --> 00:35:41,227 That made the pig mad and it charged and attacked Siruruk and gored him with its tusk. 373 00:35:43,559 --> 00:35:48,019 Narrator: As they listen, family members change the wounded uncle’s bandages. 374 00:35:51,163 --> 00:35:58,558 Many parents elsewhere would shield children from his pain. Here, it’s accepted as a part of life. 375 00:36:01,221 --> 00:36:03,628 Uncle Ja Gao works on his arrows. 376 00:36:04,956 --> 00:36:08,987 He’s the family’s best hunter, the one who mortally wounded the wild boar. 377 00:36:11,278 --> 00:36:14,494 Storyteller: Ja Gao shot the pig with an arrow. 378 00:36:16,128 --> 00:36:17,698 We’d finally killed it. 379 00:36:17,698 --> 00:36:20,618 This was the biggest, strongest pig we had ever hunted. 380 00:36:21,026 --> 00:36:23,959 Maybe it had some magical strength that made it so hard to kill. 381 00:36:26,078 --> 00:36:30,390 Narrator: Adults don’t shield children from the spoils of hunting, either. 382 00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:34,532 Wild animal skulls hang from the rafters of the uma. 383 00:36:36,453 --> 00:36:39,098 Western children might call it a haunted house. 384 00:36:40,425 --> 00:36:44,253 But here, youngsters learn that animal spirits serve their ancestors, 385 00:36:44,253 --> 00:36:47,220 which in turn protect the family. 386 00:36:53,794 --> 00:36:57,861 The next morning, it’s the boys’ turn to go hunting with the uncles, 387 00:36:59,488 --> 00:37:01,158 time to continue their lessons. 388 00:37:01,823 --> 00:37:05,454 In this society, relatives provide much of a child’s education. 389 00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:11,049 Uncles Ja Gao and Gabari are uniquely qualified. 390 00:37:13,764 --> 00:37:19,102 They’re shamans, among the society’s elite who can communicate with the spirit world. 391 00:37:20,878 --> 00:37:27,091 Today their prey is a lot less ferocious than wild boar: plants. 392 00:37:32,505 --> 00:37:34,990 The young boys wield sharp machetes. 393 00:37:35,497 --> 00:37:39,676 They’re lethal weapons, but no one seems to worry that they’re in the hands of children. 394 00:37:41,050 --> 00:37:45,229 But like boys everywhere, Goibiat and Kelak aren’t just thinking about their lessons. 395 00:37:49,694 --> 00:37:56,219 They’ve managed to uncover what passes for candy in this part of the world, 396 00:37:56,594 --> 00:38:00,903 sago grubs, the larvae of the Capricorn beetle. 397 00:38:02,057 --> 00:38:07,422 To Goibiat, as delicious as a chocolate bar, but just a bit more wriggly. 398 00:38:10,394 --> 00:38:12,166 The uncles pick up their pace. 399 00:38:12,592 --> 00:38:15,056 Tonight will be an important night in the uma. 400 00:38:17,633 --> 00:38:20,826 A man sick with fever has arrived from a neighboring clan. 401 00:38:23,862 --> 00:38:27,759 The shamans know exactly which plants to choose for the healing ceremony. 402 00:38:28,362 --> 00:38:29,965 That’s why they brought the boys along. 403 00:38:33,533 --> 00:38:37,026 Mentawai shamans are entrusted with passing on their knowledge 404 00:38:37,026 --> 00:38:40,596 of as many as a thousand plants in this tropical forest. 405 00:38:43,133 --> 00:38:50,020 Someday Goibiat too could be a shaman, if he watches closely and learns their secrets. 406 00:38:55,562 --> 00:38:59,653 Coming up: The shamans try to placate angry spirits. 407 00:39:04,053 --> 00:39:07,681 Goibiat’s education continues that night in the uma. 408 00:39:08,327 --> 00:39:11,925 The children’s presence is accepted at the healing ceremony. 409 00:39:13,996 --> 00:39:15,506 Nothing here is censored. 410 00:39:18,096 --> 00:39:22,701 Once in a trance, the shaman’s goal is to placate angry spirits, 411 00:39:23,735 --> 00:39:26,731 whom they hold responsible for illness and suffering. 412 00:39:30,703 --> 00:39:33,128 The children stay up late into the night. 413 00:39:34,788 --> 00:39:39,451 There are no scoldings, no worries about getting enough sleep. 414 00:39:42,020 --> 00:39:44,966 They’re not excluded, they learn first-hand. 415 00:39:48,249 --> 00:39:51,735 Ceremonies like this are at the heart of uma life, 416 00:39:51,735 --> 00:39:56,855 in a culture struggling to hold on to its traditions despite constant pressure from the outside. 417 00:40:01,629 --> 00:40:05,788 For Goibiat’s way of life is beset by change. 418 00:40:07,703 --> 00:40:10,669 He has grown up a free spirit in an extended family, 419 00:40:10,669 --> 00:40:13,696 taking his lessons from the forest around him. 420 00:40:17,389 --> 00:40:21,835 Yet at the same time, the Indonesian government has long urged his people 421 00:40:21,835 --> 00:40:26,543 to live as nuclear families in villages where children can attend school. 422 00:40:29,131 --> 00:40:32,129 These changes have had mixed results for Goibiat. 423 00:40:34,021 --> 00:40:37,795 His parents are now building a second home in a village with a school, 424 00:40:37,795 --> 00:40:39,901 half-an-hour downstream from the uma. 425 00:40:42,667 --> 00:40:48,188 Goibiat’s father, Gulakeu, has decided it’s time to give his son a more formal education. 426 00:40:51,049 --> 00:40:55,367 Aman Gulakeu: I want Goibiat to go to school and learn to write and to speak Indonesian. 427 00:40:57,126 --> 00:41:00,495 I want him to be smart and then help with the family business. 428 00:41:01,556 --> 00:41:05,614 If I have dried coconut, he can deal with the trader. 429 00:41:08,224 --> 00:41:11,281 Narrator: Traders are increasingly important to the Mentawai. 430 00:41:12,096 --> 00:41:14,937 They bring them tobacco, to which they are addicted. 431 00:41:16,329 --> 00:41:21,770 But though Gulakeu has high hopes for his son, the boy sees little relevance in his schoolwork. 432 00:41:23,993 --> 00:41:28,167 His heart remains back at the uma, where he’s used to a different way of learning. 433 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,604 Goibiat’s lack of interest worries his teacher. 434 00:41:39,829 --> 00:41:43,888 Teacher: Every single time I see him, he goes to school without his book, pen, 435 00:41:43,888 --> 00:41:47,702 and most of the time he just listens and watches. 436 00:41:50,364 --> 00:41:53,904 He often doesn’t even go to school because his parents take him to the jungle 437 00:41:53,904 --> 00:41:55,990 or to the uma to work in the forest. 438 00:42:02,191 --> 00:42:06,054 Narrator: In Western culture, it’s considered taboo to let your child cut school. 439 00:42:09,296 --> 00:42:13,699 But to Goibiat’s father, the old ways of learning still outrank the new. 440 00:42:16,965 --> 00:42:19,959 Gulakeu: I would like him to stay in school for two or three years, 441 00:42:19,959 --> 00:42:22,965 but after he’s finished, I will teach him the Mentawai way. 442 00:42:26,190 --> 00:42:31,285 I was taught these things by my parents, and now it’s my turn to teach Goibiat. 443 00:42:32,626 --> 00:42:36,424 He will learn from me and then when he grows up he can continue the tradition 444 00:42:36,424 --> 00:42:38,164 by teaching the next generation. 445 00:42:42,793 --> 00:42:46,612 Narrator: In America, parents celebrate taking their children to work one day a year. 446 00:42:49,095 --> 00:42:52,965 But what Mommy and Daddy do all day isn’t a mystery to Mentawai children. 447 00:42:55,460 --> 00:42:58,998 From an early age, they’re initiated into what it takes to make a living. 448 00:43:01,224 --> 00:43:03,857 Small: Children are part of the work force. 449 00:43:03,857 --> 00:43:05,567 They’re a part of what’s going on. 450 00:43:05,567 --> 00:43:08,654 They’re in the fields; they’re running around. 451 00:43:08,654 --> 00:43:14,594 In America, you can go through day after day and not see a single child. 452 00:43:17,834 --> 00:43:22,029 Narrator: In teaching his son, Gulakeu emphasizes practical skills. 453 00:43:24,529 --> 00:43:26,739 Gulakeu: I teach him to walk in the jungle. 454 00:43:26,739 --> 00:43:31,194 We have to be quiet when we see a monkey, so I teach him strategies for hunting. 455 00:43:35,023 --> 00:43:39,096 And then I teach him to find the good wood to build a house in the future when he needs it. 456 00:43:39,707 --> 00:43:42,427 Also some rattan to make a string for the bow. 457 00:43:47,934 --> 00:43:51,956 The things that I teach him now, to feed the pig, to go to the river, 458 00:43:51,956 --> 00:43:54,226 it’s going to be his duty in the future. 459 00:44:01,614 --> 00:44:04,701 It’s already evident the boys are learning their lessons well. 460 00:44:07,595 --> 00:44:16,095 Cutting school may be taboo elsewhere, but Goibiat uses the time to perfect his survival skills. 461 00:44:19,794 --> 00:44:24,499 Who’s to argue; in less than a decade, he may well have a family to feed. 462 00:44:28,260 --> 00:44:29,967 But he won’t lose sleep over it. 463 00:44:33,394 --> 00:44:36,461 For the Mentawai believe in taking life slow. 464 00:44:40,508 --> 00:44:47,829 The spirits disapprove of rushing around, so there’s always time, for the children. 465 00:44:53,455 --> 00:44:56,336 Time to make certain they learn the traditions of the clan, 466 00:45:01,455 --> 00:45:04,702 to prepare them to take their places as Mentawai adults 467 00:45:10,057 --> 00:45:13,907 and pass on the culture to the next generation. 468 00:45:21,023 --> 00:45:23,231 Small: The tightness or the looseness of the bond between 469 00:45:23,231 --> 00:45:26,857 a mother and an infant and what is expected or what is acceptable in a society 470 00:45:26,857 --> 00:45:30,562 is actually a picture of the society as a whole. 471 00:45:30,562 --> 00:45:34,297 How do they feel about relationships how do they feel about family, 472 00:45:34,297 --> 00:45:35,855 how do they feel about work? 473 00:45:35,855 --> 00:45:38,699 It’s all part of the ideology of a culture. 474 00:45:39,289 --> 00:45:42,929 Narrator: What one culture considers proper another considers taboo. 475 00:45:44,657 --> 00:45:49,827 From the freedom of the Mentawai children, to the tight bond of mothers and children 476 00:45:49,827 --> 00:45:55,286 in Indian prisons, to the challenging life of the young Chinese gymnast, 477 00:45:55,768 --> 00:45:59,972 our choices in child rearing say a great deal about who we are. 478 00:46:01,225 --> 00:46:04,703 What parenting style is taboo for you?