[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.80,0:00:11.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mother was a teacher\Nand my father was a preacher.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.39,0:00:13.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our family lived in Florence, Alabama,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.50,0:00:18.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a sleepy little river town\Nof Baptists and artists.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.01,0:00:19.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mostly Baptists.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.40,0:00:22.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Florence is quintessentially southern,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.32,0:00:25.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and growing up there\Nis Sunday lunches after church,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.05,0:00:28.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Little League baseball\Nand high school homecoming parades.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.22,0:00:32.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I made good grades, followed all the rules\Nand even played football.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.48,0:00:35.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This made me a good southern son.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.70,0:00:39.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From a young age,\Nwe're taught to tell the truth,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.04,0:00:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but no one teaches us to tell our truth,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.10,0:00:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe an eating disorder\Nor some childhood trauma,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.92,0:00:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or something simple like a love for art\Nin a world full of jocks.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.96,0:00:53.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nope. Nobody teaches us\Nto tell those truths.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.09,0:00:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I began to uncover my truth\Nat an early age.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.36,0:01:01.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a truth discovered alone,\Ngrappled with alone, denied alone
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.02,0:01:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, when you are young,\Nit feels like a ball of lead in the soul,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.54,0:01:07.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both heavy and toxic.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.07,0:01:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This football-playing\Npreacher's kid was gay!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.82,0:01:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do you think it would feel like\Nbeing a gay preacher's kid
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.78,0:01:18.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the American south?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.23,0:01:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, this was my two-ton truth,\Nbut telling it was not an option.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.03,0:01:25.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The good-old-boy ghost\Nof southern culture was clear:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.78,0:01:30.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Zip it up, lock it down. We don't talk\Nabout that down here, preacher boy."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.91,0:01:35.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I love my southern roots and I love\Nthe people I went to church with,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.45,0:01:38.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,some of the best people on the planet,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.74,0:01:39.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but, in 1988,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.84,0:01:43.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a resolution was passed at a meeting\Nof our national church leaders,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.11,0:01:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,declaring homosexuality was\N"a manifestation of a depraved nature,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.52,0:01:52.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a pervasion of divine standards\Nand an abomination."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.05,0:01:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This very fierce language was mimicked\Nby lots of other religious organizations
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.96,0:01:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the 80s and 90s,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.30,0:02:03.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and those strong words did not go\Nunnoticed by little ears in the pews.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.73,0:02:06.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be gay is to be a unique minority,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.86,0:02:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,living with a physiology you did not\Nchoose, in a tribe not your own,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.43,0:02:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,amongst families that struggle\Nto understand you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.36,0:02:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to be a gay person of faith\Nin the American south
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.94,0:02:18.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is its own unique challenge.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.12,0:02:21.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Flannery O'Connor famously wrote,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.31,0:02:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"While the south is hardly Christ-centered\Nit is most certainly Christ-haunted."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.50,0:02:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To be gay in a community\Nsteeped in religion
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.26,0:02:36.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to know that you are welcome\Nonly if you remain single and celibate.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.08,0:02:39.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's to feel forced to choose\Nbetween spiritual faith and earthly love.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.64,0:02:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's to beg God to change you,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.07,0:02:44.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hoping for a golden ticket\Ninto straightness.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.55,0:02:50.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, I made my way through high school\Nand college with no dating, just denial.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.01,0:02:51.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was serious about my faith,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.94,0:02:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hoping to one day discover\Na tonic of spiritual disciplines
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.71,0:02:57.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that would cure me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.01,0:03:02.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, in the meantime,\NI perfected the art of numbing the pain:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.56,0:03:05.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work, work, work,\Nnights out, big vacations
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.94,0:03:07.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the continual incantation,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.47,0:03:11.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't need love, I don't need love,\NI don't need love."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.67,0:03:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Forget coping mechanisms.\NI had built a coping machine.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.13,0:03:19.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it worked!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.26,0:03:21.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until it didn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.50,0:03:24.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some time around 30,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.52,0:03:29.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I woke up and realized all of my friends\Nhad moved on with their lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.38,0:03:33.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,matriculating into the world of wedding\Ndresses and children's birthday parties.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.13,0:03:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My loneliness grew and,\Nas the sleepless nights began to add up,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.08,0:03:42.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I eventually gave up:\NI decided to stop hiding.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.48,0:03:45.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, through one painful\Nconversation after the other,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.13,0:03:50.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I began to come out to friends and family,\Nmost of whom were very religious.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.57,0:03:52.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The conversations were tough at first.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.74,0:03:56.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Red wine was my courage,\NPepto-Bismol was my peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.75,0:03:58.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.41,0:04:00.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For years, I had imagined\Nthe worst reactions,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.80,0:04:04.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with people freaking out\Nand casting judgment,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.14,0:04:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but, each time, every time,\NI was met with love, and a tear,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.26,0:04:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of those lingering hugs you give\Nsomeone who's been fighting a hard battle.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.31,0:04:16.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, in my 30s,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.68,0:04:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I finally, clumsily, stumbled my way\Ninto the light of telling my truth,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.14,0:04:25.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something I wish I'd done so much sooner.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.98,0:04:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many people seem to think
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.31,0:04:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the religious folk of the south\Nare fueled by hate,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.16,0:04:33.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I know that's not true\Nbecause I know these people.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.74,0:04:36.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They are wildly generous\Nand kind beyond belief.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.91,0:04:40.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For centuries, they have been the ones\Nhelping the poor in our neighborhoods
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.71,0:04:43.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and providing relief after disasters.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.75,0:04:45.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need our faith communities,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.74,0:04:51.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and outsiders typecasting them as bigots\Nare peddling the fallacy of composition.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.03,0:04:54.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Vocal zealots do not represent\Nthe benevolent majority.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.56,0:04:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think our faith communities\Nhave a problem with hate.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.50,0:05:01.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we have a problem with love.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.00,0:05:05.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We just haven't loved\Nour LGBT children well!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.32,0:05:07.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.92,0:05:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've not loved our LGBT children well.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.24,0:05:14.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We haven't listened.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.44,0:05:17.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've offered theology before empathy.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.08,0:05:22.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've protected a tabu that quietly\Nboils kids in their own shame.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.19,0:05:25.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We haven't given them the space\Nand the grace that we give everyone else,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.85,0:05:28.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we've defended\Ndisembodied spiritual doctrines
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.32,0:05:31.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while missing the actual\Nbodies in our pews.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.17,0:05:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kids in our religious communities\Ndare not speak their truth, out of fear!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.10,0:05:41.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many of them are struggling alone\Nand we need to ask ourselves the question:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.71,0:05:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why is the word H-E-L-P so hard for them?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.55,0:05:50.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the good news is\Nthat I see faith leaders rising up,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.60,0:05:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,changing the conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.54,0:05:54.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see our churches pivoting,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.55,0:05:58.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they have so many times\Nacross the centuries, towards love.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.49,0:06:02.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see the rhetoric being replaced\Nwith a lexicon of grace.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.03,0:06:07.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see people of faith learning a sacred\Nsong that keeps rhythm with orthodoxy,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.26,0:06:09.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while shouting a chorus of love.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.65,0:06:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I see believers united,\Nreminding every child,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.96,0:06:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You are loved and you are lovely,\Nand your future is incredibly bright ."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.94,0:06:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.98,0:06:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers) (Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.02,0:06:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks. Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.62,0:06:29.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause) (Cheers)