WEBVTT

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I come strapped

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with six pistols and a dagger

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walk under the black flag

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with a scallywag swagger

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ain't no parrot on my shoulder

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and no rings in my ear

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I'm an irate pirate

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real swashbuckling buccaneer

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beef with me? please

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I'm the high seas Caesar

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my cold heart is many degrees

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beneath the deep freezer

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you're an obese greasy sleaze

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squeezing a diseased peter

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that no skeezer would touch

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if she had fifty foot tweezers

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don't start a war with me

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you're not hardcore

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I'll pimp slap those face scars of yours

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port and starboard

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you spent time in Alcatraz

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I'm sure you were fine

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if you dropped the soap as little

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as you drop dope rhymes

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I'm a busy man Captain Crunch

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I'll make this quick

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I'm ruining pirates faster

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than Johnny Depp did

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I had syphilis yeah

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well you're a huge dick

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with a scurvy ridden ship

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filled with bilge rat pricks

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I run an intricate criminal syndicate

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so show respect

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or get that tongue ripped out your neck

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and shoved straight up your poop deck

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slapping bitch ass teachers

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back since I was fourteen

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you ain't a tough guy

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my kids dress up like you for Halloween

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I'll use that fuse in your hat

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to light up you and your buddies

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then burn your sailboat down

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and collect the insurance money

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then maybe they find your bloated body

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dead and washed up on the beach

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this is Capone rapping

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and I'm capping this Captain

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capisce?

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The Valentine's Massacre

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brought you condemnation

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but I'm gonna sink you faster

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than your income tax evasion

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when I toss you overboard

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like a mob abomination

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so prepare to learn

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the Davy Jones locker combination

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forty cannon on the Queen Anne

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your gang can't stop it

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I'll pilfer all your rum

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and sell it back at a profit

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cause I'm a criminal legend

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with a bad ass name

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you're a fat thug

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with an STD in his brain

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C'mon they chopped your head off

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and they hung it from a rope

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the only legend you left

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was your prohibition on soap

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I mean that rat nest beard's

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trapped so many crumbs

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this bum could get marooned

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and still eat lunch for a month

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I'm the emcee assassin

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slash like Edward Kenway

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rap so hard call me Al

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dente

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take your little sloop John B

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and go home

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tell South Carolina

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Blackbeard got Capwned