0:00:00.000,0:00:20.910


0:00:20.910,0:00:22.560
Psychotherapy is[br]sometimes described

0:00:22.560,0:00:27.720
as a process of helping[br]a person to help himself.

0:00:27.720,0:00:31.830
This film is the second in a[br]series of three films designed

0:00:31.830,0:00:34.830
to show how this[br]process works with three

0:00:34.830,0:00:37.620
different therapists.

0:00:37.620,0:00:41.110
First, you've seen Dr. Carl[br]Rogers, founder of client

0:00:41.110,0:00:47.100
centered therapy at work with[br]Gloria, our real, live patient.

0:00:47.100,0:00:49.260
Now we invite you to[br]observe Dr. Frederick

0:00:49.260,0:00:55.110
Perls, founder of Gestalt[br]therapy, with the same patient.

0:00:55.110,0:00:58.860
He will first describe[br]his system of therapy

0:00:58.860,0:01:01.730
and then demonstrate his work.

0:01:01.730,0:01:04.360
Following, he will[br]comment briefly.

0:01:04.360,0:01:07.180
Now, Dr. Frederick Perls.

0:01:07.180,0:01:11.440


0:01:11.440,0:01:15.050
I am to interview a patient.

0:01:15.050,0:01:18.450
And I'd like to give you[br]some thumbnail sketch of what

0:01:18.450,0:01:22.160
gestalt therapy stands for.

0:01:22.160,0:01:28.320
Gestalt therapy is working[br]on an equation, awareness,

0:01:28.320,0:01:33.060
equal present time,[br]equal reality.

0:01:33.060,0:01:35.250
In contrast to[br]depth psychology, we

0:01:35.250,0:01:40.620
try to get hold of the[br]obvious, of the surface,

0:01:40.620,0:01:44.060
of the situation in[br]which we find ourselves

0:01:44.060,0:01:48.020
and to develop the[br]emerging gestalt strictly

0:01:48.020,0:01:52.590
on the I and thou,[br]here and now basis.

0:01:52.590,0:01:57.040
Any escape into the[br]future or the past

0:01:57.040,0:02:00.060
is examined as a[br]likely resistance

0:02:00.060,0:02:03.197
against the ongoing encounter.

0:02:03.197,0:02:05.820


0:02:05.820,0:02:12.120
Modern man has alienated, given[br]up so much of his potential

0:02:12.120,0:02:14.620
that his ability to[br]cope with his existence

0:02:14.620,0:02:17.700
becomes badly impoverished.

0:02:17.700,0:02:22.470
My aim is this,[br]the patient should

0:02:22.470,0:02:25.180
recover his lost potential.

0:02:25.180,0:02:29.640
He should integrate the[br]conflicting polarities.

0:02:29.640,0:02:32.940
Understand the difference[br]between game playing,

0:02:32.940,0:02:38.656
especially the playing of[br]verbal games, on the one hand,

0:02:38.656,0:02:42.010
and of genuine, authentic,[br]confident behavior

0:02:42.010,0:02:44.100
on the other.

0:02:44.100,0:02:48.780
The civil war of inner[br]conflict weakens the efficiency

0:02:48.780,0:02:51.120
and comfort of the patient.

0:02:51.120,0:02:56.400
But every bit of integration[br]will strengthen it.

0:02:56.400,0:03:01.250
Now, in the safe emergency of[br]the therapeutic situation, I

0:03:01.250,0:03:07.380
repeat, in the safe emergency[br]of the therapeutic situation,

0:03:07.380,0:03:11.780
the patient begins to take risks[br]and to transform his energies

0:03:11.780,0:03:17.600
from manipulating the[br]environment for support

0:03:17.600,0:03:21.740
into developing greater and[br]greater self support that is

0:03:21.740,0:03:25.700
reliant on his own resources.

0:03:25.700,0:03:31.580
This process is[br]called maturation.

0:03:31.580,0:03:34.520
Once the patient has learned[br]to stand on his own feet

0:03:34.520,0:03:37.990
emotionally, intellectually,[br]and economically,

0:03:37.990,0:03:40.850
his need for therapy[br]will collapse.

0:03:40.850,0:03:45.932
He will wake up from the[br]nightmare of his existence.

0:03:45.932,0:03:51.410
The basic technique is[br]this, not to explain things

0:03:51.410,0:03:56.240
to the patient, but to provide[br]the patient with opportunities

0:03:56.240,0:04:01.460
to understand and[br]to discover himself.

0:04:01.460,0:04:05.000
For this purpose, I[br]manipulate and prostrate

0:04:05.000,0:04:10.550
the patient in such a way that[br]he is confronting himself.

0:04:10.550,0:04:14.840
In this process he identifies[br]with his lost potential,

0:04:14.840,0:04:18.050
for instance, through[br]assimilating his projections

0:04:18.050,0:04:24.470
by acting out, by acting out[br]the alien parts of himself.

0:04:24.470,0:04:28.010
Principally, I consider[br]any interpretation

0:04:28.010,0:04:31.130
to be a therapeutic[br]mistake as this

0:04:31.130,0:04:35.510
would imply that the therapist[br]understands the patient better

0:04:35.510,0:04:37.520
than the patient himself.

0:04:37.520,0:04:43.130
It takes away from the patient[br]a chance of discovering himself

0:04:43.130,0:04:51.230
by himself and prevents him[br]from finding out his own values

0:04:51.230,0:04:53.240
and style.

0:04:53.240,0:04:55.910
On the other hand,[br]I disregard most

0:04:55.910,0:04:58.970
of the content of[br]what the patient says

0:04:58.970,0:05:02.030
and concentrate most[br]on the non-verbal level

0:05:02.030,0:05:08.920
as this is the only one which is[br]less subject to self deception.

0:05:08.920,0:05:12.470
In his verbal[br]pseudo-self expression

0:05:12.470,0:05:16.180
on the non-vocal level,[br]the relevant gestalt

0:05:16.180,0:05:21.450
will always emerge and can be[br]dealt with in the here and now.

0:05:21.450,0:05:29.290


0:05:29.290,0:05:31.976
We are going to have an[br]interview for half an hour.

0:05:31.976,0:05:37.190


0:05:37.190,0:05:40.040
Right away I'm scared.

0:05:40.040,0:05:43.120
You say you're scared[br]but you're smiling.

0:05:43.120,0:05:44.840
I do not understand[br]how one can be scared

0:05:44.840,0:05:46.460
and smile at the same time.

0:05:46.460,0:05:50.700


0:05:50.700,0:05:52.080
And I'm also suspicious of you.

0:05:52.080,0:05:53.660
I think you[br]understand very well.

0:05:53.660,0:05:58.970
I think you know that[br]when I get scared,

0:05:58.970,0:06:01.576
I laugh or I kid to cover up.

0:06:01.576,0:06:05.390
Do you have stage fright?

0:06:05.390,0:06:06.110
I don't know.

0:06:06.110,0:06:07.640
I'm mostly aware of you.

0:06:07.640,0:06:09.380
I'm afraid that--

0:06:09.380,0:06:10.880
I'm afraid you're[br]going to have such

0:06:10.880,0:06:13.540
a direct attack that you're[br]going to get me in the corner.

0:06:13.540,0:06:14.540
And I'm afraid about it.

0:06:14.540,0:06:15.830
I want you to be[br]more on my side.

0:06:15.830,0:06:17.454
You said I'll get[br]you into your corner.

0:06:17.454,0:06:20.471
And you put your[br]hand on your chest.

0:06:20.471,0:06:23.540
Is this your corner?

0:06:23.540,0:06:27.815
Well, yeah, it's[br]like I'm afraid.

0:06:27.815,0:06:29.140
Where would you like to go?

0:06:29.140,0:06:31.910


0:06:31.910,0:06:36.040
Can you describe the[br]corner you like to go to?

0:06:36.040,0:06:38.290
Yeah.

0:06:38.290,0:06:42.870
It's back in a corner where[br]I'm completely protected.

0:06:42.870,0:06:48.110
There you would be[br]safe of me, from me?

0:06:48.110,0:06:49.880
Well, I know I wouldn't really.

0:06:49.880,0:06:51.240
But it feels safer.

0:06:51.240,0:06:53.460
You made your way[br]into this corner

0:06:53.460,0:06:56.320
and you're perfectly safe now.

0:06:56.320,0:06:57.700
What would you do[br]in that corner?

0:06:57.700,0:06:59.075
I'd just sit.

0:06:59.075,0:07:00.400
You would just sit.

0:07:00.400,0:07:01.050
Yes.

0:07:01.050,0:07:03.969
Now, how long would you sit?

0:07:03.969,0:07:04.510
I don't know.

0:07:04.510,0:07:05.380
But this is so funny.

0:07:05.380,0:07:06.838
As you're saying[br]this, this reminds

0:07:06.838,0:07:08.140
me of when I was a little girl.

0:07:08.140,0:07:10.660
Every time I was afraid,[br]I'd feel better sitting

0:07:10.660,0:07:12.030
in a corner, but panicky.

0:07:12.030,0:07:14.420
OK, are you a little girl?

0:07:14.420,0:07:15.367
Well, no.

0:07:15.367,0:07:16.450
But it's the same feeling.

0:07:16.450,0:07:19.580
Are you a little girl?

0:07:19.580,0:07:20.920
This feeling reminds me of it.

0:07:20.920,0:07:21.836
Are you a little girl?

0:07:21.836,0:07:22.380
No.

0:07:22.380,0:07:22.910
No.

0:07:22.910,0:07:23.409
No.

0:07:23.409,0:07:24.630
No at last.

0:07:24.630,0:07:25.790
Well, what are you?

0:07:25.790,0:07:26.550
30.

0:07:26.550,0:07:28.212
Then you're not a little girl?

0:07:28.212,0:07:29.134
No.

0:07:29.134,0:07:31.440
OK.

0:07:31.440,0:07:37.810
So you are a 30 year old girl[br]who's afraid of a guy like me?

0:07:37.810,0:07:39.050
I don't even know.

0:07:39.050,0:07:41.230
Yeah, I do know I'll[br]be afraid of you.

0:07:41.230,0:07:44.236
I get real defensive with you.

0:07:44.236,0:07:46.140
Now, what can I do to you?

0:07:46.140,0:07:48.684


0:07:48.684,0:07:49.600
You can't do anything.

0:07:49.600,0:07:50.970
But I can sure feel dumb.

0:07:50.970,0:07:53.680
And I can feel stupid for[br]not having the right answers.

0:07:53.680,0:07:57.450
Now, what would it do to[br]you to feel dumb and stupid?

0:07:57.450,0:07:59.070
I hate it when I'm stupid.

0:07:59.070,0:08:04.125
What would it do for you[br]to be dumb and stupid?

0:08:04.125,0:08:06.680
Let me put it[br]something like this,

0:08:06.680,0:08:10.640
what would you do to me if you[br]would play dumb and stupid?

0:08:10.640,0:08:14.190
That makes you all the smarter[br]and all the higher above me.

0:08:14.190,0:08:16.863
And I really have to look up[br]to you because you're so smart.

0:08:16.863,0:08:21.260
Oh, yeah, and butter[br]me up right and left.

0:08:21.260,0:08:25.940
No, I think you can do[br]that all by yourself.

0:08:25.940,0:08:27.230
I think the other way around.

0:08:27.230,0:08:31.325
If you play dumb and stupid, you[br]force me to be more explicit.

0:08:31.325,0:08:35.030


0:08:35.030,0:08:36.400
That's been said to me before.

0:08:36.400,0:08:37.440
But I don't buy it.

0:08:37.440,0:08:37.940
I don't--

0:08:37.940,0:08:42.150
Now what you are doing[br]with your feet now?

0:08:42.150,0:08:44.551
Wiggling them.

0:08:44.551,0:08:45.793
What is the joke now?

0:08:45.793,0:08:50.490
Oh, I'm afraid you're going to[br]notice everything I do, gee.

0:08:50.490,0:08:52.160
Can't you help me?

0:08:52.160,0:08:54.500
I want you to help me[br]become more relaxed, yes.

0:08:54.500,0:08:56.270
I don't want to be so[br]defensive with you.

0:08:56.270,0:08:58.153
I don't like to[br]feel so defensive.

0:08:58.153,0:09:05.250


0:09:05.250,0:09:06.950
You're acting like,[br]you're treating me

0:09:06.950,0:09:08.240
as if I'm stronger than I am.

0:09:08.240,0:09:11.890
And I want you to protect[br]me more and be nicer to me.

0:09:11.890,0:09:14.420
By way of your smile,[br]you don't believe

0:09:14.420,0:09:15.420
a word of what you said.

0:09:15.420,0:09:16.025
I do too.

0:09:16.025,0:09:18.760
And I know you're going[br]to pick on me for it.

0:09:18.760,0:09:19.950
Sure, your bluff.

0:09:19.950,0:09:21.150
You're a phony.

0:09:21.150,0:09:24.660


0:09:24.660,0:09:26.766
Do you believe-- are you[br]meaning that seriously?

0:09:26.766,0:09:27.580
Yeah.

0:09:27.580,0:09:29.850
If you say you are[br]afraid and you laugh

0:09:29.850,0:09:33.000
and you giggle and you squirm.

0:09:33.000,0:09:34.910
That's phony.

0:09:34.910,0:09:36.810
You're putting a[br]performance for me.

0:09:36.810,0:09:40.585
Oh, I resent that very much.

0:09:40.585,0:09:41.460
Can you express this?

0:09:41.460,0:09:42.150
Yes sir.

0:09:42.150,0:09:43.900
I most certainly[br]am not being phony.

0:09:43.900,0:09:47.970
I will admit this, it's hard[br]for me to show my embarrassment.

0:09:47.970,0:09:49.650
And I hate to be embarrassed.

0:09:49.650,0:09:52.440
But boy I resent you[br]calling me a phony.

0:09:52.440,0:09:54.450
Just because I smile[br]when I'm embarrassed

0:09:54.450,0:09:57.256
or I'm put in a corner doesn't[br]mean I'm being a phony.

0:09:57.256,0:09:58.960
Wonderful thank you.

0:09:58.960,0:10:01.090
You didn't squirm[br]for the last minute.

0:10:01.090,0:10:02.480
Well I'm mad at you.

0:10:02.480,0:10:03.240
I--

0:10:03.240,0:10:04.170
That's all right.

0:10:04.170,0:10:07.640
You didn't have to cover up[br]your anger with your smile.

0:10:07.640,0:10:10.484


0:10:10.484,0:10:15.150
Now in that moment, in that[br]minute, you were not a phony.

0:10:15.150,0:10:16.750
Well at that minute[br]I was mad, though.

0:10:16.750,0:10:17.985
I wasn't embarrassed.

0:10:17.985,0:10:19.980
Now, when you're mad,[br]you're not a phony.

0:10:19.980,0:10:22.690


0:10:22.690,0:10:23.830
I still resent that.

0:10:23.830,0:10:25.210
I'm not a phony[br]when I'm nervous.

0:10:25.210,0:10:25.640
What is this you are doing?

0:10:25.640,0:10:26.500
Again.

0:10:26.500,0:10:29.390
I want to get mad at you.

0:10:29.390,0:10:31.415
I, I, I, I.

0:10:31.415,0:10:34.720
I want you on my level so I[br]can pick on you just as much

0:10:34.720,0:10:36.360
as you're picking on me.

0:10:36.360,0:10:37.661
OK, pick on me.

0:10:37.661,0:10:43.560


0:10:43.560,0:10:46.997
I have to wait till you say[br]something that I can pick on.

0:10:46.997,0:10:47.830
What does this mean?

0:10:47.830,0:10:50.376
Can you develop this movement?

0:10:50.376,0:10:52.710
It's, uh, I can't find words.

0:10:52.710,0:10:54.680
I want to--

0:10:54.680,0:10:56.430
Develop this as if[br]you were dancing.

0:10:56.430,0:11:01.820


0:11:01.820,0:11:03.381
I will start all[br]over again with you.

0:11:03.381,0:11:03.880
OK.

0:11:03.880,0:11:05.160
Let's start all over.

0:11:05.160,0:11:06.930
I know what corner I'd[br]like to put you in.

0:11:06.930,0:11:08.691
I'd like to ask you a question.

0:11:08.691,0:11:10.440
Because I have a feeling[br]you don't like me

0:11:10.440,0:11:11.230
right off the bat.

0:11:11.230,0:11:13.280
And I want to know if you do.

0:11:13.280,0:11:17.270
Can you now play Fritz[br]Perls not liking Gloria.

0:11:17.270,0:11:20.010
What would he say?

0:11:20.010,0:11:22.940
He'd say that she's[br]a phony, for one.

0:11:22.940,0:11:24.480
Say, you are a phony.

0:11:24.480,0:11:26.000
You're a phony.

0:11:26.000,0:11:28.860
And you're a flip little girl.

0:11:28.860,0:11:31.980
And you're a show off.

0:11:31.980,0:11:33.629
What would Gloria[br]answer to that?

0:11:33.629,0:11:36.443


0:11:36.443,0:11:38.420
I know what I'd answer.

0:11:38.420,0:11:40.670
I'd say I think you are too.

0:11:40.670,0:11:42.460
Now tell this to me.

0:11:42.460,0:11:44.800
Tell me what a phony I am.

0:11:44.800,0:11:45.610
No, I'm--

0:11:45.610,0:11:49.250


0:11:49.250,0:11:52.490
Say, Fritz you're a phony.

0:11:52.490,0:11:54.980
Well, phony is not[br]quite the right word.

0:11:54.980,0:11:57.630
But it's more like a show off.

0:11:57.630,0:11:58.390
A show off?

0:11:58.390,0:12:01.630
Like you know all the answers.

0:12:01.630,0:12:03.390
And I want you to be more human.

0:12:03.390,0:12:05.520
And that doesn't seem[br]very human to me.

0:12:05.520,0:12:07.990
To know all the answers[br]is not really human?

0:12:07.990,0:12:10.410
Yeah to right away find out[br]why I'm kicking my feet.

0:12:10.410,0:12:12.010
And why am I doing like this?

0:12:12.010,0:12:13.560
Why are you doing like that?

0:12:13.560,0:12:15.080
Oh dear, I've got eyes.

0:12:15.080,0:12:17.260
I can see you're[br]kicking your feet.

0:12:17.260,0:12:19.680
I don't need a[br]scientific computer

0:12:19.680,0:12:22.095
to see that you are[br]kicking your feet.

0:12:22.095,0:12:24.716
What's big about that?

0:12:24.716,0:12:28.310
You don't need to be wise to[br]see that you kick your feet.

0:12:28.310,0:12:28.860
I know.

0:12:28.860,0:12:31.960
But it seems like you're trying[br]to find some reason for it.

0:12:31.960,0:12:33.881
I don't.

0:12:33.881,0:12:35.740
This is your imagination.

0:12:35.740,0:12:36.421
OK.

0:12:36.421,0:12:37.670
I know what I'd like from you.

0:12:37.670,0:12:39.590
Can I tell you what[br]I'd like from you?

0:12:39.590,0:12:42.250
I'd like you to be aware[br]that I'm kicking my feet

0:12:42.250,0:12:43.930
and to be aware that[br]I'm giggling when

0:12:43.930,0:12:46.180
I'm really nervous and accept[br]it instead of putting me

0:12:46.180,0:12:48.730
on the defensive[br]having to explain it.

0:12:48.730,0:12:51.640
I don't want to have to explain[br]why I'm doing these things.

0:12:51.640,0:12:53.170
Did I ask you to explain them?

0:12:53.170,0:12:54.250
You said, why am I?

0:12:54.250,0:12:55.230
Or what am I doing?

0:12:55.230,0:12:56.237
No.

0:12:56.237,0:12:57.320
What am I doing, you said.

0:12:57.320,0:12:58.720
That's right, kicking your feet.

0:12:58.720,0:13:01.820
I didn't ask you to explain.

0:13:01.820,0:13:04.640
This is your imagination.

0:13:04.640,0:13:05.490
That not this Fritz.

0:13:05.490,0:13:07.990
It's the Fritz of[br]your imagination.

0:13:07.990,0:13:09.970
There's a big difference.

0:13:09.970,0:13:15.420


0:13:15.420,0:13:18.424
Now do this again.

0:13:18.424,0:13:20.516
Again.

0:13:20.516,0:13:21.802
How do you feel now?

0:13:21.802,0:13:25.658


0:13:25.658,0:13:28.080
I don't know.

0:13:28.080,0:13:30.210
Playing stupid?

0:13:30.210,0:13:32.070
I'm not playing stupid?

0:13:32.070,0:13:34.680
You see, I don't know[br]this is playing stupid.

0:13:34.680,0:13:48.750


0:13:48.750,0:13:51.050
You did something[br]with your hair there.

0:13:51.050,0:13:53.820
Is there by any chance something[br]in my hair that you object to?

0:13:53.820,0:13:54.780
No.

0:13:54.780,0:13:56.680
No?

0:13:56.680,0:13:57.180
OK.

0:13:57.180,0:14:00.070


0:14:00.070,0:14:04.000
No, but your hair[br]and your features

0:14:04.000,0:14:06.820
go along with the feeling[br]I had about you earlier.

0:14:06.820,0:14:09.724
I had a feeling I[br]could be afraid of you.

0:14:09.724,0:14:11.140
And you're the[br]type of person that

0:14:11.140,0:14:13.210
seems like you demand[br]so much respect.

0:14:13.210,0:14:16.280
And so your--

0:14:16.280,0:14:17.410
Please play Fritz.

0:14:17.410,0:14:19.290
I demand so much respect.

0:14:19.290,0:14:21.182
Play this Fritz you just saw.

0:14:21.182,0:14:24.280


0:14:24.280,0:14:26.170
Well, you know how smart I am.

0:14:26.170,0:14:29.140
I know more about psychology[br]than you do, Gloria.

0:14:29.140,0:14:32.040
So anything I say,[br]of course, is right.

0:14:32.040,0:14:37.230
Can you say the same as Gloria,[br]something similar as Gloria

0:14:37.230,0:14:41.190
with the same act as Gloria?

0:14:41.190,0:14:42.595
I demand respect because?

0:14:42.595,0:14:45.634


0:14:45.634,0:14:48.390
I don't know.

0:14:48.390,0:14:49.100
You don't know?

0:14:49.100,0:14:49.870
No, I don't.

0:14:49.870,0:14:51.160
I identify it with my father.

0:14:51.160,0:14:51.810
But not me.

0:14:51.810,0:14:53.656
I don't feel I demand respect.

0:14:53.656,0:14:55.110
You do demand respect.

0:14:55.110,0:14:55.610
No.

0:14:55.610,0:14:57.110
Sure you do.

0:14:57.110,0:14:58.900
As a matter of[br]fact, I'd like more.

0:14:58.900,0:15:00.640
I'd like you respect me more.

0:15:00.640,0:15:01.300
Now, you see?

0:15:01.300,0:15:03.740
So you demand respect.

0:15:03.740,0:15:06.460
All right, yes.

0:15:06.460,0:15:09.040
Yes, as a matter of fact, if I[br]could demand respect from you,

0:15:09.040,0:15:10.170
I would.

0:15:10.170,0:15:10.670
Do it.

0:15:10.670,0:15:14.470


0:15:14.470,0:15:16.630
Who's preventing[br]you, except yourself.

0:15:16.630,0:15:20.969


0:15:20.969,0:15:23.010
Because I feel if I get[br]myself out on the corner,

0:15:23.010,0:15:25.280
you're going to[br]let me just drown.

0:15:25.280,0:15:26.780
You're not going[br]to help me one bit.

0:15:26.780,0:15:30.002
And I know that I can't quite[br]come up to standards with you.

0:15:30.002,0:15:31.835
What should I do when[br]you are in the corner?

0:15:31.835,0:15:35.300


0:15:35.300,0:15:37.490
Encourage me to come out.

0:15:37.490,0:15:39.320
Oh.

0:15:39.320,0:15:43.910
You don't have enough[br]courage to come by yourself?

0:15:43.910,0:15:46.650
You need somebody[br]pull little damsel

0:15:46.650,0:15:48.810
in distress out of her corner?

0:15:48.810,0:15:49.310
Yes.

0:15:49.310,0:15:53.840
So any time you want somebody[br]to pay attention to you,

0:15:53.840,0:15:57.710
you crawl into a corner and[br]wait until the rescuer comes.

0:15:57.710,0:15:59.360
Yes that's exactly[br]what I'd like.

0:15:59.360,0:16:01.622
And this is what I call phony.

0:16:01.622,0:16:02.600
Pardon me?

0:16:02.600,0:16:04.430
This is what I call phony.

0:16:04.430,0:16:05.390
Why is it phony?

0:16:05.390,0:16:06.860
I'm admitting to you what I am.

0:16:06.860,0:16:07.990
How is that a phony?

0:16:07.990,0:16:09.380
That is a phony.

0:16:09.380,0:16:10.070
Oh?

0:16:10.070,0:16:11.100
Because it's a trick.

0:16:11.100,0:16:13.100
It's a gimmick, to[br]crawl into a corner

0:16:13.100,0:16:15.730
and wait there until somebody[br]comes to your rescue.

0:16:15.730,0:16:16.550
I'm admitting it.

0:16:16.550,0:16:18.417
I know what I'm doing.

0:16:18.417,0:16:19.250
I'm not being phony.

0:16:19.250,0:16:22.620
I'm not pretending I'm so brave.

0:16:22.620,0:16:23.640
I resent that.

0:16:23.640,0:16:27.080
I feel like you're saying unless[br]I come out openly and stand

0:16:27.080,0:16:28.490
on my own I'm not a phony.

0:16:28.490,0:16:29.140
Baloney!

0:16:29.140,0:16:31.910
I'm just as real[br]sitting in that corner

0:16:31.910,0:16:33.590
as I am out here all by myself.

0:16:33.590,0:16:35.566
But you're not sitting[br]in that corner.

0:16:35.566,0:16:36.315
Well, I'm not now.

0:16:36.315,0:16:44.037


0:16:44.037,0:16:45.870
And besides that, it's[br]like passing judgment

0:16:45.870,0:16:46.828
when you call me phony.

0:16:46.828,0:16:48.410
I just hate that anyway.

0:16:48.410,0:16:51.066
Now we are getting somewhere.

0:16:51.066,0:16:57.050
I call anybody phony[br]who puts on an act.

0:16:57.050,0:17:01.580
And if you like somebody,[br]you want to meet this person,

0:17:01.580,0:17:05.520
to go to this person, tell[br]them I would like to meet you,

0:17:05.520,0:17:07.618
I would call not phony.

0:17:07.618,0:17:13.460
But if you coyishly go into that[br]corner waiting to be rescued,

0:17:13.460,0:17:15.450
this I call phony.

0:17:15.450,0:17:18.026
I still think[br]you're judgemental.

0:17:18.026,0:17:19.858
You know what I have a[br]feeling, you've never

0:17:19.858,0:17:21.000
felt this way in your life.

0:17:21.000,0:17:23.196
You feel so secure that[br]you don't have to feel.

0:17:23.196,0:17:24.780
Anybody that does[br]something like this,

0:17:24.780,0:17:27.118
you are going pass judgment[br]on their being a phony.

0:17:27.118,0:17:28.069
Well I resent it.

0:17:28.069,0:17:28.610
Good.

0:17:28.610,0:17:30.780
Now play Fritz passing judgment.

0:17:30.780,0:17:33.110
You are you sitting up[br]there in your chair.

0:17:33.110,0:17:33.610
Play Fritz.

0:17:33.610,0:17:34.410
I am Fritz.

0:17:34.410,0:17:35.230
I pass judgment.

0:17:35.230,0:17:39.440


0:17:39.440,0:17:43.520
Pass judgment on me now.

0:17:43.520,0:17:47.330
I don't feel close to[br]you at all Dr. Perls.

0:17:47.330,0:17:48.260
I feel that's phony.

0:17:48.260,0:17:50.660
I feel like you're[br]playing one big game.

0:17:50.660,0:17:52.420
Right.

0:17:52.420,0:17:53.950
Sure we play games.

0:17:53.950,0:17:56.490
But in spite of[br]the games, I think

0:17:56.490,0:17:59.190
I've touched you now and then.

0:17:59.190,0:18:01.150
I think I hurt you when[br]I called you a phony.

0:18:01.150,0:18:02.705
Well, of course you did.

0:18:02.705,0:18:05.130
And I think I hit a bullseye.

0:18:05.130,0:18:06.562
That's why you feel hurt.

0:18:06.562,0:18:10.530


0:18:10.530,0:18:11.140
I don't know.

0:18:11.140,0:18:15.230
All I know is when I feel the[br]way I feel with you right now,

0:18:15.230,0:18:16.850
it's like you[br]don't have feeling.

0:18:16.850,0:18:17.350
Right.

0:18:17.350,0:18:19.452
Now exaggerate this.

0:18:19.452,0:18:21.690
What you just did.

0:18:21.690,0:18:22.900
That's it.

0:18:22.900,0:18:24.220
Now talk to me like this.

0:18:24.220,0:18:24.941
I can't.

0:18:24.941,0:18:25.440
I can't.

0:18:25.440,0:18:26.740
I want to laugh.

0:18:26.740,0:18:29.560
I'd like you to be younger than[br]me so I could really scold you.

0:18:29.560,0:18:32.040
How old must I be?

0:18:32.040,0:18:33.330
My age, 30.

0:18:33.330,0:18:34.740
Good, I'm 30 now.

0:18:34.740,0:18:36.134
Imagine I'm 30.

0:18:36.134,0:18:37.050
And now, you scold me.

0:18:37.050,0:18:37.740
OK.

0:18:37.740,0:18:39.960
Don't be so cocksure[br]of yourself.

0:18:39.960,0:18:42.060
Don't think you're[br]so doggone smart.

0:18:42.060,0:18:43.789
Don't act so proud[br]because you've never

0:18:43.789,0:18:44.580
been in the corner.

0:18:44.580,0:18:47.250
I think you can be just as[br]big a phony parading around

0:18:47.250,0:18:48.660
like you're so damn smart.

0:18:48.660,0:18:50.460
And you know all[br]the answers as much

0:18:50.460,0:18:52.980
as me sitting in my corner.

0:18:52.980,0:18:55.250
Oh, and I like the feeling[br]of you being younger.

0:18:55.250,0:18:58.150
I'd like to really[br]embarrass you.

0:18:58.150,0:18:59.370
Embarrass me.

0:18:59.370,0:19:00.010
Tell me what--

0:19:00.010,0:19:01.468
Well, you wouldn't[br]get embarrassed.

0:19:01.468,0:19:02.873
You seem to unaffected.

0:19:02.873,0:19:05.340
Tell me, embarrass me.

0:19:05.340,0:19:08.990
Tell me how odd, how ugly I am.

0:19:08.990,0:19:10.590
You don't look old and ugly.

0:19:10.590,0:19:11.772
You looked distinguished.

0:19:11.772,0:19:13.980
And that gives you, that's[br]all the more on your side,

0:19:13.980,0:19:16.790
if you look so[br]distinguished then, see.

0:19:16.790,0:19:18.670
That's more on your side, too.

0:19:18.670,0:19:20.970
Well, Gloria can we[br]say this one thing.

0:19:20.970,0:19:23.230
We had quite a good fight.

0:19:23.230,0:19:23.810
No.

0:19:23.810,0:19:24.970
No.

0:19:24.970,0:19:26.760
No.

0:19:26.760,0:19:28.630
I don't think you're[br]fighting with me.

0:19:28.630,0:19:32.550
But I felt you came[br]out quite a bit.

0:19:32.550,0:19:34.230
Well I'm mad at you.

0:19:34.230,0:19:36.240
Wonderful.

0:19:36.240,0:19:37.770
But you seem so detached.

0:19:37.770,0:19:42.290
You don't even seem to[br]care that I'm mad at you.

0:19:42.290,0:19:45.210
I feel like you're not[br]recognizing me at all Dr. Perls

0:19:45.210,0:19:46.620
not a bit.

0:19:46.620,0:19:48.630
This is quite true.

0:19:48.630,0:19:50.820
Our contact is much[br]too superficial

0:19:50.820,0:19:53.090
to be involved in caring.

0:19:53.090,0:19:59.460
I care for you as far as[br]you are right now my client.

0:19:59.460,0:20:05.390
I care for you as far as like[br]an artist, bring something out

0:20:05.390,0:20:07.262
which is hidden in you.

0:20:07.262,0:20:09.452
This is as far as I care.

0:20:09.452,0:20:14.590


0:20:14.590,0:20:17.793
Well, I'd like you to--

0:20:17.793,0:20:20.200
I'd like to feel that there's[br]some-- it's frustrating.

0:20:20.200,0:20:22.270
If I were to leave you right[br]now and not see you again,

0:20:22.270,0:20:23.830
it would frustrate[br]me to feel like there

0:20:23.830,0:20:24.871
hadn't been more contact.

0:20:24.871,0:20:26.985
I feel completely out[br]of contact with you,

0:20:26.985,0:20:29.950
like I'm talking to the baby[br]that doesn't understand me

0:20:29.950,0:20:31.242
or something like that.

0:20:31.242,0:20:32.950
I don't feel like[br]we're a bit in contact.

0:20:32.950,0:20:35.762
And oh, that frustrates me.

0:20:35.762,0:20:37.720
That bothers me more than[br]being angry with you.

0:20:37.720,0:20:42.394
I'd rather we were angry and[br]fought than to have no contact.

0:20:42.394,0:20:45.940
Yeah, this reminds me of when[br]my husband and I used to fight.

0:20:45.940,0:20:47.560
He sits there and[br]he listens to me.

0:20:47.560,0:20:49.660
But he's not even aware[br]of how much I hate him

0:20:49.660,0:20:52.440
and how mad I am at him.

0:20:52.440,0:20:54.460
I'd rather affect you.

0:20:54.460,0:20:56.621
You don't really[br]hate me or something.

0:20:56.621,0:20:59.920


0:20:59.920,0:21:03.460
And I feel like you're purposely[br]staying out of contact with me.

0:21:03.460,0:21:06.070
How should I be?

0:21:06.070,0:21:07.980
Give me your fantasy.

0:21:07.980,0:21:13.060
How could I share[br]my concern with you?

0:21:13.060,0:21:14.680
I can't say in words.

0:21:14.680,0:21:16.600
I know the feeling[br]I'd see on you.

0:21:16.600,0:21:17.380
But I can't say.

0:21:17.380,0:21:22.405
It's just a feeling[br]like, I don't know.

0:21:22.405,0:21:24.280
It's like I want you to[br]respect him more as a

0:21:24.280,0:21:26.420
human being that[br]I've got feelings.

0:21:26.420,0:21:28.430
Now we come back[br]to the beginning.

0:21:28.430,0:21:29.910
So you want respect.

0:21:29.910,0:21:30.820
Yes, I do.

0:21:30.820,0:21:32.122
I do.

0:21:32.122,0:21:33.580
This is a different[br]kind of respect

0:21:33.580,0:21:34.921
than you meant the first time.

0:21:34.921,0:21:35.421
Never mind.

0:21:35.421,0:21:36.460
But you need respect?

0:21:36.460,0:21:36.960
Yes.

0:21:36.960,0:21:41.056


0:21:41.056,0:21:43.590
I respect you so[br]much as a human being

0:21:43.590,0:21:47.440
that I refuse to accept[br]the phony part of yourself.

0:21:47.440,0:21:50.270
And that was my [? path ?][br]to the genuine part.

0:21:50.270,0:21:55.570
Right now, the last few minutes,[br]you were wonderfully genuine.

0:21:55.570,0:21:59.472
You weren't playing any more.

0:21:59.472,0:22:01.712
And I could see you[br]really were hurting.

0:22:01.712,0:22:04.490


0:22:04.490,0:22:06.820
Well, I don't feel[br]I've got a right.

0:22:06.820,0:22:09.140
When I don't like[br]somebody or I disagree

0:22:09.140,0:22:11.390
with what somebody is doing,[br]if I should respect them,

0:22:11.390,0:22:13.280
if they're above me,[br]they're superior to me,

0:22:13.280,0:22:14.946
I don't feel I've got[br]a right to really,

0:22:14.946,0:22:16.621
really tell you how mad I am.

0:22:16.621,0:22:19.390
That's garbage.

0:22:19.390,0:22:24.180
You're not-- you're getting[br]back to your safe corner.

0:22:24.180,0:22:25.430
That's the way it feels.

0:22:25.430,0:22:27.790
That's what the safe[br]corner feels like to me.

0:22:27.790,0:22:30.190
Now go back to your safe corner.

0:22:30.190,0:22:31.909
Because we have[br]to part very soon.

0:22:31.909,0:22:33.200
You stayed in your safe corner.

0:22:33.200,0:22:35.390
You came out for a moment.

0:22:35.390,0:22:36.500
You nearly [? met ?] me.

0:22:36.500,0:22:39.070
You could get a little[br]bit angry with me.

0:22:39.070,0:22:40.910
Now go back to your safety.

0:22:40.910,0:22:43.670
I feel like you're telling me[br]the only way you'll respect me

0:22:43.670,0:22:46.790
as a human being if I'm[br]aggressive and forceful and

0:22:46.790,0:22:47.930
strong.

0:22:47.930,0:22:49.640
I feel like you couldn't[br]even accept my--

0:22:49.640,0:22:52.440
I'd be scared to death[br]to cry in front of you.

0:22:52.440,0:22:55.060
I feel like you'd laugh[br]at me and call me a phony.

0:22:55.060,0:22:56.810
I feel like you don't[br]accept my weak side.

0:22:56.810,0:23:01.390
Only when I am yelling back[br]at you or hollering at you--

0:23:01.390,0:23:03.650
You mustn't cry in my presence?

0:23:03.650,0:23:06.600
Well, I wouldn't even[br]give you the satisfaction.

0:23:06.600,0:23:07.620
Say this again.

0:23:07.620,0:23:09.320
No.

0:23:09.320,0:23:09.990
Say this again.

0:23:09.990,0:23:12.510


0:23:12.510,0:23:13.694
I'd try not to.

0:23:13.694,0:23:15.110
I'd try not to cry[br]in front of you

0:23:15.110,0:23:17.915
or show you my weak spot for[br]fear you'd jump on me again.

0:23:17.915,0:23:20.340
Are you aware that[br]you're eyes are moist.

0:23:20.340,0:23:22.480
I am aware that I[br]feel more choky.

0:23:22.480,0:23:24.390
Yes, I feel that--

0:23:24.390,0:23:25.270
Could you choke me?

0:23:25.270,0:23:29.210


0:23:29.210,0:23:30.960
Pretend, but not for real.

0:23:30.960,0:23:31.956
Why not for real?

0:23:31.956,0:23:34.380
Well, because I don't[br]hate you that much.

0:23:34.380,0:23:36.562
Yes, you want to[br]choke my [INAUDIBLE].

0:23:36.562,0:23:38.940
You want me to choke you[br]so that you wouldn't cry?

0:23:38.940,0:23:41.560


0:23:41.560,0:23:43.380
I'd like to-- If I'd[br]like to choke you,

0:23:43.380,0:23:45.430
it would be to make you cry.

0:23:45.430,0:23:48.400
I'd like to see you weak.

0:23:48.400,0:23:53.860
I like to see you[br]hurt and vulnerable.

0:23:53.860,0:23:57.860
What would this do for you?

0:23:57.860,0:24:01.410
Make me feel like I have[br]more of a right to be hurt.

0:24:01.410,0:24:03.812
And you wouldn't[br]jump on me so quick.

0:24:03.812,0:24:06.390
Would you jump on[br]me if I would cry?

0:24:06.390,0:24:07.640
No.

0:24:07.640,0:24:10.700
But I would jump on[br]you if you would cry?

0:24:10.700,0:24:14.380
Are you sure of this?

0:24:14.380,0:24:15.770
No, I'm not sure of it.

0:24:15.770,0:24:19.200


0:24:19.200,0:24:21.630
What would you like me[br]to do if you were to cry?

0:24:21.630,0:24:25.311


0:24:25.311,0:24:25.810
I wasn't--

0:24:25.810,0:24:28.366
Ah, you are smiling[br]something off.

0:24:28.366,0:24:29.740
Well, because I[br]got two feelings.

0:24:29.740,0:24:33.100
I was going to say I want[br]you to love me and hug me.

0:24:33.100,0:24:34.060
But then I thought, no.

0:24:34.060,0:24:35.750
I don't want to.

0:24:35.750,0:24:37.240
What's your objection?

0:24:37.240,0:24:40.482
I'd be scared to be[br]too close to you.

0:24:40.482,0:24:41.690
Now we are getting somewhere.

0:24:41.690,0:24:44.082
First, you want[br]to be close to me.

0:24:44.082,0:24:46.922
Now you're afraid to[br]be too close to me.

0:24:46.922,0:24:50.200
That is what I'm saying, but--

0:24:50.200,0:24:52.410
Now we got with two[br]poles of your existence.

0:24:52.410,0:24:53.910
But they are two[br]different feelings.

0:24:53.910,0:24:58.000
Close, I mean emotionally,[br]but not physically.

0:24:58.000,0:25:01.625
But we've got the two poles[br]of your existence now.

0:25:01.625,0:25:07.420
Either far away in a[br]corner or be so close

0:25:07.420,0:25:10.152
that you can melt into[br]one with the other person.

0:25:10.152,0:25:13.554


0:25:13.554,0:25:15.910
It appears you travel[br]between the two extremes.

0:25:15.910,0:25:22.110


0:25:22.110,0:25:23.470
I do.

0:25:23.470,0:25:27.400
You know what I'm thinking when[br]I am really hurt and really

0:25:27.400,0:25:30.052
upset about something and[br]I want someone to love me,

0:25:30.052,0:25:31.510
like my girlfriend[br]will do it a lot

0:25:31.510,0:25:34.262
and she'll come out to[br]hug me, I don't want it.

0:25:34.262,0:25:34.762
Exactly.

0:25:34.762,0:25:37.660


0:25:37.660,0:25:39.820
That's what I'm talking about.

0:25:39.820,0:25:41.780
You cannot sustain contact.

0:25:41.780,0:25:45.140


0:25:45.140,0:25:49.410
OK, this is[br][? garbage. ?] What are

0:25:49.410,0:25:51.840
you afraid of if you get too[br]close to your girlfriend,

0:25:51.840,0:25:55.020
if you let her hug you?

0:25:55.020,0:25:57.330
The only thing I'm aware[br]of is when I perspire,

0:25:57.330,0:26:00.360
it embarrasses me that[br]she'd feel how wet I am.

0:26:00.360,0:26:02.220
And that she'd hold[br]my body up close.

0:26:02.220,0:26:04.090
And I don't know.

0:26:04.090,0:26:05.820
Are you aware of your[br]facial expression?

0:26:05.820,0:26:07.958
There is a kind of[br]disgust growing.

0:26:07.958,0:26:09.150
Yes I am.

0:26:09.150,0:26:11.400
Do this more.

0:26:11.400,0:26:13.650
Icky.

0:26:13.650,0:26:14.536
Just icky.

0:26:14.536,0:26:15.660
I can just feel what it is.

0:26:15.660,0:26:16.530
I don't like it.

0:26:16.530,0:26:18.366
Can you say this to me,[br]Fritz, you are icky?

0:26:18.366,0:26:24.558


0:26:24.558,0:26:25.058
No.

0:26:25.058,0:26:26.980
No?

0:26:26.980,0:26:28.755
What's the difficulty?

0:26:28.755,0:26:30.630
Because I feel like if[br]you really believed me

0:26:30.630,0:26:32.820
that would hurt your feelings.

0:26:32.820,0:26:37.180
Oh, you musn't hurt my feelings?

0:26:37.180,0:26:40.800
I thought I was so indifferent,[br]as you said before, therefore,

0:26:40.800,0:26:41.900
nothing could touch me.

0:26:41.900,0:26:42.400
No.

0:26:42.400,0:26:46.140
Now you suddenly discover[br]a way to touch me.

0:26:46.140,0:26:48.540
Isn't it?

0:26:48.540,0:26:50.310
Well, you know what I believe?

0:26:50.310,0:26:52.620
I believe you're the type[br]of person, sort of like me,

0:26:52.620,0:26:54.970
that you act like it[br]wouldn't hurt your feelings,

0:26:54.970,0:26:56.310
but it really would.

0:26:56.310,0:26:57.240
You act strong.

0:26:57.240,0:27:00.630
But you're soft and[br]vulnerable inside there, too.

0:27:00.630,0:27:03.450


0:27:03.450,0:27:07.320
I think your feelings[br]could be hurt, sure.

0:27:07.320,0:27:10.250
But I don't think you'd[br]show it very easy.

0:27:10.250,0:27:12.930
What would I do?

0:27:12.930,0:27:15.060
How would I conceal my feelings?

0:27:15.060,0:27:17.320
By turning it back on me.

0:27:17.320,0:27:20.870
By saying now, what did[br]you get from that, Gloria?

0:27:20.870,0:27:22.470
You'd turn the whole[br]thing back on me

0:27:22.470,0:27:24.600
instead of showing[br]how hurt you were.

0:27:24.600,0:27:26.340
Now, can you say this to Fritz?

0:27:26.340,0:27:28.570
What did you get[br]out of this, Fritz?

0:27:28.570,0:27:30.310
Say this to me.

0:27:30.310,0:27:31.526
What did you get out of what?

0:27:31.526,0:27:33.150
What you just said,[br]just your sentence.

0:27:33.150,0:27:38.457


0:27:38.457,0:27:40.040
Sure, I know what[br]you'd get out of it.

0:27:40.040,0:27:41.998
If I said, what did you[br]get out of this, Fritz,

0:27:41.998,0:27:44.657
you'd say nothing.

0:27:44.657,0:27:45.490
It didn't bother me.

0:27:45.490,0:27:46.370
It was you that did it.

0:27:46.370,0:27:48.170
You still wouldn't let[br]me know you were hurt.

0:27:48.170,0:27:49.586
But I know what[br]it would be if you

0:27:49.586,0:27:51.020
told your true[br]feelings, that you

0:27:51.020,0:27:52.270
didn't want to show your hurt.

0:27:52.270,0:27:53.990
So you covered it up.

0:27:53.990,0:27:56.060
Same way with me in the corner.

0:27:56.060,0:27:59.732
Now if I were hurt, if I would[br]cry, what would you do with me?

0:27:59.732,0:28:02.530


0:28:02.530,0:28:05.670
You would be, you wouldn't[br]be so superior to me.

0:28:05.670,0:28:08.289
You'd be more vulnerable[br]and I could pacify you

0:28:08.289,0:28:09.330
and make you feel better.

0:28:09.330,0:28:11.080
You could hug me.

0:28:11.080,0:28:13.220
And I could be the baby.

0:28:13.220,0:28:15.050
Yes.

0:28:15.050,0:28:16.950
Yes, I'd like that.

0:28:16.950,0:28:18.360
You'd feel more on my level.

0:28:18.360,0:28:20.580
I wouldn't have to[br]feel so dumb with you.

0:28:20.580,0:28:25.910
And the other way around,[br]you would have to be my baby.

0:28:25.910,0:28:27.390
She would cry.

0:28:27.390,0:28:32.630
She would like to play the baby[br]and be comforted and heartened.

0:28:32.630,0:28:33.320
Poor thing.

0:28:33.320,0:28:36.596
Well, I'd like that, too.

0:28:36.596,0:28:38.444
Well, I'll tell you[br]something Gloria.

0:28:38.444,0:28:39.860
I think we came[br]to a nice closure.

0:28:39.860,0:28:43.873
I think we came to a little[br]bit of understanding.

0:28:43.873,0:28:47.550
I think we should[br]finish this scene now.

0:28:47.550,0:28:48.518
All right?

0:28:48.518,0:28:49.486
All right.

0:28:49.486,0:28:57.230


0:28:57.230,0:29:01.380
The demonstration[br]was, in my opinion,

0:29:01.380,0:29:05.750
quite successful and consistent[br]with my theoretical outlook.

0:29:05.750,0:29:08.390
The avoidance of the[br]general encounter

0:29:08.390,0:29:11.600
manifested itself in three ways.

0:29:11.600,0:29:16.790
The patient was[br]first taking control

0:29:16.790,0:29:20.400
by putting on a smiling,[br]sophisticated, phony mask

0:29:20.400,0:29:24.240
oscillating between the[br]pretense of being frightened

0:29:24.240,0:29:27.880
and yet at the same time[br]having me figured out,

0:29:27.880,0:29:34.310
thus believing to be fully[br]in control of the situation.

0:29:34.310,0:29:40.370
Secondly, she was[br]withdrawing by fantasizing

0:29:40.370,0:29:43.260
of hiding in a corner.

0:29:43.260,0:29:49.750
Fourthly, she was blocking[br]the real encounter

0:29:49.750,0:29:54.530
of [INAUDIBLE] which[br]then would have

0:29:54.530,0:30:00.010
been the real emotional[br]meaning of this meeting.

0:30:00.010,0:30:02.480
The patient was capable[br]of identifying herself

0:30:02.480,0:30:07.010
as several fantasies she[br]had projected onto me.

0:30:07.010,0:30:10.790
This was especially evident with[br]regard to her initial denial

0:30:10.790,0:30:14.270
for a need to be respected.

0:30:14.270,0:30:16.070
The need for[br]environmental support

0:30:16.070,0:30:20.960
started to come out besides[br]a need to get respected.

0:30:20.960,0:30:24.290
It was verbalized in her[br]wish to be cared for, rescued

0:30:24.290,0:30:28.040
from the corner, and so on.

0:30:28.040,0:30:33.410
I broke off the session when[br]the first tears began to appear.

0:30:33.410,0:30:36.260
She began to play the[br]role of the lonely child

0:30:36.260,0:30:39.540
and apparently wanted to[br]be hugged and comforted.

0:30:39.540,0:30:42.200
But here, too, the[br]assimilation of her projection

0:30:42.200,0:30:43.650
began to work.

0:30:43.650,0:30:46.700
And she began to experience[br]holding me like a baby.

0:30:46.700,0:30:51.490


0:30:51.490,0:30:55.520
Apart from assisting[br]her in assimilating

0:30:55.520,0:30:58.370
her [INAUDIBLE] projections,[br]the main therapeutic factor

0:30:58.370,0:31:03.110
was to show the inconsistency[br]of her verbal and nonverbal

0:31:03.110,0:31:04.280
behavior.

0:31:04.280,0:31:08.020
For instance, saying[br]that she was frightened

0:31:08.020,0:31:10.710
and smiling at the same time.

0:31:10.710,0:31:15.650
A frightened person[br]does not smile.

0:31:15.650,0:31:20.550
The way I feared was in the[br]direction of her embarrassment.

0:31:20.550,0:31:25.430
This embarrassment was protected[br]by her brazenness and anger.

0:31:25.430,0:31:28.750
To get to her existing[br]existential embarrassment,

0:31:28.750,0:31:32.300
we would have to go through[br]and eliminated the phoniness.

0:31:32.300,0:31:36.040
That is the [? ego ?] with[br]which we can superficially

0:31:36.040,0:31:40.930
assume any role that is required[br]for a specific situation.

0:31:40.930,0:31:46.430
This suited adaptation is[br]her way of coping with life.

0:31:46.430,0:31:50.830
This is about what I[br]got out of this session.

0:31:50.830,0:35:03.030