WEBVTT 00:00:01.100 --> 00:00:02.750 If I were the devil... 00:00:04.990 --> 00:00:06.710 If I were the Prince of Darkness 00:00:06.710 --> 00:00:09.120 I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness. 00:00:09.120 --> 00:00:12.550 And I'd have a third of its real estate and 4/5 of its population 00:00:12.550 --> 00:00:15.170 but I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple 00:00:15.170 --> 00:00:18.329 on the tree, thee. 00:00:18.329 --> 00:00:22.543 So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States. 00:00:22.543 --> 00:00:26.190 I'd subvert the churches first, I'd begin with a campaign of whispers. 00:00:26.190 --> 00:00:28.160 With the wisdom of a serpent I would whisper 00:00:28.160 --> 00:00:31.190 to you as I whispered to Eve, "Do as you please." 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:34.460 To the young, I would whisper that, "The Bible is a myth." 00:00:34.460 --> 00:00:36.760 I would convince them that man created God 00:00:36.760 --> 00:00:38.200 instead of the other way around. 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:40.240 I would confide that what's bad is good 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:42.837 and what's good is square. 00:00:42.837 --> 00:00:45.852 And the old, I would teach to pray, after me 00:00:45.852 --> 00:00:49.420 "Our Father, which art in Washington…" 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:52.390 And then I'd get organized. 00:00:52.390 --> 00:00:55.750 I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting 00:00:55.750 --> 00:00:58.240 so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. 00:00:58.240 --> 00:01:01.450 I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. 00:01:01.450 --> 00:01:03.300 I'd pedal narcotics to whom I could. 00:01:03.300 --> 00:01:06.390 I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. 00:01:06.390 --> 00:01:09.080 I'd tranquilize the rest with pills. 00:01:09.080 --> 00:01:11.030 If I were the devil I'd soon have families 00:01:11.030 --> 00:01:14.060 that war with themselves, churches at war with themselves 00:01:14.060 --> 00:01:16.300 and nations at war with themselves 00:01:16.300 --> 00:01:19.619 until each in its turn was consumed. 00:01:19.619 --> 00:01:22.137 And with promises of higher ratings 00:01:22.137 --> 00:01:26.635 I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames. 00:01:26.635 --> 00:01:28.990 If I were the devil I would encourage schools 00:01:28.990 --> 00:01:30.830 to refine young intellects, but neglect 00:01:30.830 --> 00:01:33.460 to discipline emotions, just let those run wild 00:01:33.460 --> 00:01:35.010 until before you knew it 00:01:35.010 --> 00:01:36.830 you'd have to have drug sniffing dogs 00:01:36.830 --> 00:01:39.852 and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. 00:01:39.852 --> 00:01:43.994 Within a decade I'd have prisons overflowing 00:01:43.994 --> 00:01:46.590 I'd have judges promoting pornography. 00:01:46.590 --> 00:01:48.960 Soon I could evict God from the courthouse 00:01:48.960 --> 00:01:50.470 then from the schoolhouse 00:01:50.470 --> 00:01:52.230 and then from the houses of Congress. 00:01:52.230 --> 00:01:54.320 And in His own churches I would substitute 00:01:54.320 --> 00:01:57.410 psychology for religion and deify science. 00:01:57.410 --> 00:01:59.360 I would lure priests and pastors 00:01:59.360 --> 00:02:02.580 into misusing boys and girls, and church money. 00:02:02.580 --> 00:02:05.420 If I were the devil I'd make the symbols of Easter an egg 00:02:05.420 --> 00:02:08.000 and the symbol of Christmas a bottle. 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:10.699 If I were the devil I'd take from those who have 00:02:10.699 --> 00:02:13.730 and give to those wanted until I had killed 00:02:13.730 --> 00:02:16.258 the incentive of the ambitious. 00:02:16.258 --> 00:02:17.941 And what'll you bet? 00:02:17.941 --> 00:02:22.428 I could get whole states to promote gambling 00:02:22.428 --> 00:02:24.400 as the way to get rich. 00:02:25.540 --> 00:02:29.540 I would caution against extremes and hard work 00:02:29.540 --> 00:02:32.340 in Patriotism, in moral conduct. 00:02:33.160 --> 00:02:36.292 I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned 00:02:36.292 --> 00:02:38.745 that swinging is more fun 00:02:38.745 --> 00:02:42.753 that what you see on TV is the way to be. 00:02:42.753 --> 00:02:45.040 And thus I could undress you in public 00:02:46.400 --> 00:02:48.687 and I could lure you into bed 00:02:48.687 --> 00:02:51.860 with diseases for which there is no cure. 00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:54.920 In other words, if I were the devil 00:02:54.920 --> 00:02:57.220 I'd just keep right on doing on what he's doing. 00:02:58.170 --> 00:02:59.540 Paul Harvey.