1 00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:02,750 If I were the devil 2 00:00:04,990 --> 00:00:06,710 if I were the Prince of Darkness 3 00:00:06,710 --> 00:00:09,120 I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness. 4 00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:12,550 And I'd have a third of it's real estate and 4/5 of its population, 5 00:00:12,550 --> 00:00:15,170 but I wouldn't be happy until I had seized the ripest apple 6 00:00:15,170 --> 00:00:18,329 on the tree, thee. 7 00:00:18,329 --> 00:00:22,543 So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States. 8 00:00:22,543 --> 00:00:26,190 I'd subvert the churches first, I'd begin with a campaign of whispers. 9 00:00:26,190 --> 00:00:28,160 With the wisdom of a serpent I would whisper 10 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,190 to you as I whispered to Eve: "Do as you please." 11 00:00:32,020 --> 00:00:34,460 To the young, I would whisper that, "The Bible is a myth." 12 00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,760 I would convince them that man created God 13 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,200 instead of the other way around. 14 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,240 I would confide that what's bad is good 15 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,837 and what's good is square. 16 00:00:42,837 --> 00:00:45,852 And the old, I would teach to pray, after me 17 00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:49,420 "Our Father, which art in Washington…" 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,390 And then I'd get organized. 19 00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:55,750 I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting 20 00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:58,240 so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. 21 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,450 I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies and vice versa. 22 00:01:01,450 --> 00:01:03,300 I'd pedal narcotics to whom I could. 23 00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:06,390 I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. 24 00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:09,080 I'd tranquilize the rest with pills. 25 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,030 If I were the devil I'd soon have families 26 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:14,060 that war with themselves, churches at war with themselves 27 00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:16,300 and nations at war with themselves 28 00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:19,619 until each in its turn was consumed. 29 00:01:19,619 --> 00:01:22,137 And with promises of higher ratings 30 00:01:22,137 --> 00:01:26,635 I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the flames. 31 00:01:26,635 --> 00:01:28,990 If I were the devil I would encourage schools 32 00:01:28,990 --> 00:01:30,830 to refine young intellects, but neglect 33 00:01:30,830 --> 00:01:33,460 to discipline emotions, just let those run wild 34 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,010 until before you knew it 35 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,830 you'd have to have drug sniffing dogs 36 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,852 and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. 37 00:01:39,852 --> 00:01:43,994 Within a decade I'd have prisons overflowing 38 00:01:43,994 --> 00:01:46,590 I'd have judges promoting pornography. 39 00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,960 Soon I could evict God from the courthouse 40 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,470 then from the schoolhouse 41 00:01:50,470 --> 00:01:52,230 and then from the houses of Congress. 42 00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:54,320 And in His own churches I would substitute 43 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,410 psychology for religion and deify science. 44 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,360 I would lure priests and pastors 45 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:02,580 into misusing boys and girls, and church money. 46 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,420 If I were the devil I'd make the symbols of Easter an egg 47 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:08,000 and the symbol of Christmas a bottle. 48 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,699 If I were the devil I'd take from those who have 49 00:02:10,699 --> 00:02:13,730 and give to those wanted until I had killed 50 00:02:13,730 --> 00:02:16,258 the incentive of the ambitious. 51 00:02:16,258 --> 00:02:17,941 And what'll you bet? 52 00:02:17,941 --> 00:02:22,428 I could get whole states to promote gambling 53 00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:24,400 as the way to get rich. 54 00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:29,540 I would caution against extremes and hard work 55 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:32,340 in Patriotism, in moral conduct. 56 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,292 I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned 57 00:02:36,292 --> 00:02:38,745 that swinging is more fun 58 00:02:38,745 --> 00:02:42,753 that what you see on TV is the way to be. 59 00:02:42,753 --> 00:02:45,040 And thus I could undress you in public 60 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,687 and I could lure you into bed 61 00:02:48,687 --> 00:02:51,860 with diseases for which there is no cure. 62 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,920 In other words, if I were the devil 63 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,220 I'd just keep right on doing on what he's doing. 64 00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,540 Paul Harvey.