WEBVTT 00:00:00.029 --> 00:00:02.809 What would happen in the future if I was bad? 00:00:02.979 --> 00:00:05.497 Um, heavens! Is that time? I really must be off. 00:00:05.497 --> 00:00:07.659 I'd love to see Christmas future. 00:00:07.659 --> 00:00:08.962 No, no, no, no, no, no. 00:00:08.962 --> 00:00:10.222 It's terribly melodramatic. 00:00:10.222 --> 00:00:12.991 Look, just show it. Please. 00:00:13.291 --> 00:00:16.439 Alright. (humming) 00:00:18.373 --> 00:00:23.495 Hail Queen Asphyxia, Supreme Mistress of the Universe. 00:00:23.835 --> 00:00:27.607 And hail to you, my Triple-Husbandoid. 00:00:28.059 --> 00:00:33.245 I summon you here to group-greet our swift imperial navies home. 00:00:33.535 --> 00:00:37.702 Approach, Grand Admiral of the Dark Segment 00:00:37.792 --> 00:00:41.446 and Lord of the High-Slung bottoms of Zob! 00:00:41.476 --> 00:00:43.734 - Morning. - (audience laughs) 00:00:43.734 --> 00:00:49.060 Do you, Blackadder, thrice-endowed supreme donkey of the trouserpod-- 00:00:49.520 --> 00:00:50.997 This much greeting... 00:00:51.537 --> 00:00:56.561 I, too, bold navigator, cringe my dribblies at your resplendent pofflesnu! 00:00:57.071 --> 00:00:58.972 Yes, well, that won't be necessary. Thank you. 00:00:59.112 --> 00:01:02.654 Approach your slave, Baldrick! 00:01:04.414 --> 00:01:07.178 (audience laughs) 00:01:09.644 --> 00:01:11.713 For God's sake, Baldrick, if you're going to wear 00:01:11.713 --> 00:01:14.875 that ridiculous jock strap, at least keep your legs together. 00:01:15.805 --> 00:01:17.215 Wilco, Skipper! 00:01:18.796 --> 00:01:21.238 Majesties, I give you this much greeting. 00:01:21.434 --> 00:01:23.990 What news of the foul Malmydons? 00:01:23.990 --> 00:01:26.027 Scattered to the Nine Vectors, My Lord. 00:01:26.027 --> 00:01:28.224 And the Sheepsqueezers of Splatican Five? 00:01:28.964 --> 00:01:32.145 Have they been suckcreamed as a Qvarnbeast's nobbo? 00:01:32.965 --> 00:01:34.691 Well, they're dead, if that's what you mean. 00:01:34.911 --> 00:01:37.748 Plus, Commander, did you vanquish the Nibblepibblies? 00:01:37.838 --> 00:01:41.259 No, My Lord Pigmot, I did not vanquish the Nibblepibblies 00:01:41.259 --> 00:01:43.363 because you just made them up. 00:01:44.163 --> 00:01:45.316 (laughing) 00:01:45.316 --> 00:01:47.437 Excellent, Commander! 00:01:47.826 --> 00:01:51.275 You have most pleasantly wibbled my frusset pouch. 00:01:52.065 --> 00:01:55.227 Bring forth the gift with which you honour me. 00:01:55.455 --> 00:01:59.612 Majesties, from a place where the stars begin and end, 00:01:59.612 --> 00:02:01.402 I bring you this! 00:02:02.386 --> 00:02:05.328 Oh, lovely! An ashtray! 00:02:05.828 --> 00:02:08.089 Come, Majesty! He wastes our time. 00:02:08.189 --> 00:02:11.262 I yearn to attend Twenty Thousand Years of The Two Ronnoids 00:02:11.262 --> 00:02:12.674 on the box plof. 00:02:12.674 --> 00:02:15.169 Yes! Send him to the sprouting chamber! 00:02:15.169 --> 00:02:16.739 No! Wait. 00:02:17.061 --> 00:02:18.805 What is it, Commander? 00:02:18.832 --> 00:02:20.482 Well, I'll show you, shall I? 00:02:25.684 --> 00:02:29.745 And now, Your Majesty, I must respectfully insist that you hand over 00:02:29.755 --> 00:02:32.298 to me the supreme command of the universe, 00:02:32.601 --> 00:02:37.472 sew a button on my spare uniform, and marry me this afternoon. 00:02:37.562 --> 00:02:39.290 I thought you'd never ask. 00:02:39.490 --> 00:02:41.400 (audience laughs) 00:02:43.490 --> 00:02:46.074 So, let's get this straight, If I was bad, 00:02:46.434 --> 00:02:49.145 my descendants would rule the entire universe! 00:02:49.145 --> 00:02:51.042 Maybe, maybe. 00:02:51.042 --> 00:02:52.863 But would you be happy? 00:02:52.913 --> 00:02:55.672 Being ruler of the universe is not all it's cracked up to be. 00:02:55.782 --> 00:02:58.057 There's the long hours. I mean, you wave at people the whole time. 00:02:58.057 --> 00:02:59.820 You're no longer your own boss. 00:03:00.090 --> 00:03:01.845 [visit www.facebook.com/subtitleyoutube to see other videos or to make a request]