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[Millie humming happily]
2
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- Howdy, Mister!
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Fine mornin’!
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Another day in paradise!
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- Oh shit, it’s morning.
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- Uh, yeah.
7
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Have you been here all night?
8
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And what are you doing?
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- Blitz bought two hundred taxidermy owls,
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then said I couldn’t go home until I burned
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[Whispering] all of them.
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[Knocking]
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- Hey! I got an order here for a hundred more waaacky owls!
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- Fuuuuuuck.
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- Hey, I haven’t seen you guys in a while, heh!
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Do like wanna hang out some-
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[Door slams]
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[From behind the door] Okay! That answers that, I say, I say.
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- Blitz is still sulking?
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It’s been over a month.
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And where is Moxxie?
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He didn’t come home last night.
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[Moxxie screeches]
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Honey...?
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You okaaay?
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- I’m stuck in a math nightmare!!
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[Hyperventilating]
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The numbers, the numbers, I can’t make them add up!
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We’re FUCKED!
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- Come on, baby.
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It can’t be that bad.
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- He drained our pension, and used it to buy THESE!
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[Horse whinnies]
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- Damn.
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I’ve never seen him in such bad shape.
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- Bad? Bad?!
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This isn’t bad!
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This is just a FINANCIAL APOCALYPSE!
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- I usually just give him space to work his shit out, but…
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you think I should talk to him?
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- We’re gonna get audited, we’re gonna be evicted, we’re going BANKRUPT!
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Our lives are over Millie, all my hard work gone in a flash!
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Ohhh I should’ve been a theater critic, I have objectively correct opinions.
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[Continued mumbling] We- we’re gonna default.
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BLITZØ: Loona, I need my piss bucket NOW. MOXXIE: [Muffled] We're gonna default.
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BLITZØ: Loona, I need my piss bucket NOW. MOXXIE: And you know what,
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BLITZØ: Loona, I need my piss bucket NOW. MOXXIE: it's not my fault that we're gonna default.
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MOXXIE: [Muffled] IT’S HIS FAULT!
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BETHANY: Oh, ooh, okay. I am getting a real sexy energy from this room!
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Oh, there is definitely a fuckable spirit here.
51
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- Yeah get that spooky ghoul cock, bitch.
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MILLIE: Blitz?
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- Go away!
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MILLIE: I’m comin’ in.
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- Read the chains!
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- Blitz, what are you doing?
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You’ve been in here watching this earth trash forever.
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- I’M COPING!
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- Yeaaah well...
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You’ve "coped" away every dollar we had.
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- Those plates are collectables, Millie. I’m gonna sell 'em next year
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for three times as much and then I’ll have something to show for it
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when the things I care about vanish.
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- Mmmkay.
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You know,
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my mama always said, the best way to deal with being sad-
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is the sweat and blood of hard work.
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Washes the tears right off.
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I don’t need any of your "folksy-doksy" fucking country wisdom, Millie.
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I need to watch the Ghost Fuckers get dicked down by a disembodied spirit
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and eat my feelings til I die from a heart attack or diabetes,
72
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whichever pops my heart open first.
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- I don’t get it, Blitz.
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All this over a breakup?
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- IT WAS NOT A BREAKUP!
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You need a relationship for one of those and we never had that.
77
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And we never will.
78
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- Ohhh, Blitz.
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[Phone ringing]
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- What?!
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- We have a client.
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BLITZØ: Tell them to FUCK OFF!
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- Don’t!
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I’ll be right there.
85
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RITA: You know, my psychic told me I’d be going somewhere bad on Wednesday.
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I just thought she meant Baltimore, I didn’t think it was
87
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HELL!
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- Mhm, mhm, interesting.
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Oh look! Someone whose job it is to listen to you.
90
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- What’s going on?
91
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- Okayyy! From the top.
92
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I went for my usual tarot reading last week, and-
93
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- No, no. Fast forward to who killed you.
94
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- Ohhh, m'okay.
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Yesterday I was killed by the evil ghost haunting a spooky hotel.
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- Um.
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Ma’am.
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I don’t know how to tell you this but-
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when humans die they either end up here…
100
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or up there.
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- Ohhhh, okay.
102
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I don’t understand.
103
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- She’s saying ghosts aren’t real, lady! -
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- She’s saying ghosts aren’t real, lady! [Quickly approaching footsteps]
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- Ghost!? I heard ghost.
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Where’s the ghost I can fuck- er, hunt?
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- Blitz, calm down!
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Someone killed this lady but it wasn’t-
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- Millie!
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Let me have this.
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- But-
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[Deep breath and sigh]
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- Alright so tell me what it looked like, starting with its hotness and tightness.
114
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How many- how many abs would you say you witnessed?
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- Well.
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At least he’s out of his office!
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- I don’t know if this is a good idea.
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- He’ll be fine.
119
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We’ll check the place out, see what passes on Earth for creepy,
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and Blitz will get all this out of his system.
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You just need to keep an eye on Moxxie, he’s a little-
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- BANKRUPTCY, BANKRUPTCY, BANKRUPTCY!
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- Upsetti.
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- I don’t take orders from you, grandma.
125
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- Look,
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I can’t keep both of them out of trouble at the same time.
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I need your help.
128
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Please?
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- Get in loser,
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we’re going ghost fuckin’!
131
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- Ugh. Fine. I’ll watch the nerd.
132
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But you’re the one cleaning off the van.
133
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- Thanks.
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Loona.
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- Don’t get used to it!
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[Magical whoosh]
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- Let’s gape this hole wide open!
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[Tires screeching]
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[Crash]
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BLITZØ: We’re here.
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Huh, interesting.
142
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Aren’t we supposed to be at a haunted hotel?
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[Spooky music]
144
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Oh-ho, yeah, this place is gonna be ripe with fuckable spirits.
145
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I gotta get a reading.
146
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- Blitz, look.
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I know this is fun and all but, come back to reality.
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You do know ghosts aren’t real, right?
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- But they are.
150
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- Oh my fucking Satan.
151
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What is that?
152
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- You like it?
153
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It’s Bethany Ghost-Fucker’s ghost sucker: nine thousand.
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Sure to get you a ghost after a ghost gets you…
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off.
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Only set me back a couple thousand!
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- A couple what?!
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You haven’t paid me in a month.
159
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- Uh oh! Looks like it sucked all the fun outta you.
160
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Now hurry up and put this on, those ghosts aren’t gonna fuck themselves.
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[Deep breath]
162
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- He needs this. He needs this.
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He needs this.
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[Lightning strike and spooky music]
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- Welcome to the One Star Wonder,
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where it’s a wonder we still have that star.
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How may I help you today?
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- [Valley accent] We’re filming a very special episode of my hit show
169
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and we’re gonna need access to every room in this dump.
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- Christ, you Hollywood assholes are pushy little pricks.
171
00:06:34,987 --> 00:06:37,627
I can’t just give you keys to every ba-
172
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Well snap me in half!
173
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You're Bethany Ghost-Fucker from that one show…
174
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- It’s called Ghost Fuckers, idiot.
175
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:48,114
- No, but you’re getting close.
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Anyway, I am glad to see you folks.
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We’ve been having more
178
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disturbances than usual lately.
179
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- What kind? Se- sexy disturbances?
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- The kind that are killing my guests.
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[Spooky screams]
182
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- Well there definitely ain’t no such thing as ghosts.
183
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But we’ll get to the bottom of what’s killing your guests.
184
00:07:07,471 --> 00:07:10,456
- [Valley accent] Uh yeah, except ghosts are real, camera man.
185
00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:12,929
- They’re a conspiracy, Bethany.
186
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- [Valley accent] Uh, then what do I plan on fucking tonight, camera man?
187
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Ah! Where’s my lube?
188
00:07:20,144 --> 00:07:22,899
- Look, real or not, this shit needs to stop.
189
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,045
- [Valley accent] Uh, then we’ll need those keys, cocksucker.
190
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,014
[Valley accent] Every last one of them, keys and condoms, hand 'em over.
191
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:32,182
Oh, I just can’t tell you how glad I’ll be to be rid of them.
192
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Just do me a flavor and clean up any fluids left behind.
193
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They already killed my last cleaning lady, now I’m stuck with this.
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[Labored breathing]
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- [Millie and Blitzø in unison] Eugh.
196
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- Buh- buh-
197
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bitch- bitch!
198
00:07:47,428 --> 00:07:49,799
- Poor thing can’t even blink.
199
00:07:49,829 --> 00:07:51,069
- [Valley accent] No promises! Heh.
200
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Come along Mil-
201
00:07:52,663 --> 00:07:53,656
…ton.
202
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,113
- Blitz, we have a job to do. -
203
00:07:59,115 --> 00:08:00,569
- Blitz, we have a job to do. [Phone ringing]
204
00:08:00,571 --> 00:08:04,042
Someone killed that lady and it wasn’t no phantom,
205
00:08:04,043 --> 00:08:05,043
so we should be tracking-
206
00:08:05,043 --> 00:08:06,998
- Woah! Mils, just ‘cause you’re a hick
207
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,028
does not mean you can drop that f-bomb all willy nilly.
208
00:08:10,028 --> 00:08:11,514
They hate that word.
209
00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:12,884
- I- what?
210
00:08:12,886 --> 00:08:13,614
What "F"?
211
00:08:13,615 --> 00:08:15,857
- Sh-shh- sh, shut your bigot mouth, I’m gettin' a reading.
212
00:08:17,699 --> 00:08:19,428
- Hold on, there might be someone in there!
213
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:21,528
- Yeah you bet your ass there’s someone in there!
214
00:08:21,529 --> 00:08:25,756
A ghost, about to get a mouthful of si... si...
215
00:08:25,757 --> 00:08:27,918
I don’t know, SOMETHING SEXUAL!
216
00:08:28,119 --> 00:08:31,071
LOOK ALIVE YOU UNDEAD COCK SLEEVE!
217
00:08:31,072 --> 00:08:32,342
[Couple shrieks]
218
00:08:32,344 --> 00:08:35,914
[Valley accent] Prepare to get sucked off to the astral plane-
219
00:08:35,914 --> 00:08:36,670
BITCH!
220
00:08:36,828 --> 00:08:38,585
- Oh my, Delores!
221
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:39,971
- Dammit, Blitz, they aren’t ghosts!
222
00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:41,742
These are just shriveled humans!
223
00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:43,213
No offense.
224
00:08:43,215 --> 00:08:45,011
- Think you’re pretty slick, huh?
225
00:08:45,071 --> 00:08:46,311
You looking for a fight?
226
00:08:46,428 --> 00:08:47,928
I’ll give you a fight!
227
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,671
- [Sighs] Let’s leave these two- oof!
228
00:08:50,672 --> 00:08:52,985
- I fuckin' beat the Nazis,
229
00:08:52,985 --> 00:08:55,270
and I’ll beat you too, bitch!
230
00:08:55,272 --> 00:08:56,971
- Look out Millie, he’s a patriot!
231
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,828
- Get him Harold!
232
00:09:00,686 --> 00:09:03,543
DOLORES: Get back here you red, little shit!
233
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,842
Get back here! AHHHHH!
234
00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:07,757
[Funky music]
235
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:11,884
How dare you hurt my Hermie, I mean Humie I mean…
236
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:12,512
fuck!
237
00:09:12,514 --> 00:09:15,128
♪ I’ve got longing and desire, ♪ DOLORES: Why am I chasing you again,
238
00:09:15,129 --> 00:09:17,827
♪ My heart burns with forbidden fire ♪ DOLORES: I don’t know, but I’m fucking angry!
239
00:09:17,828 --> 00:09:20,170
♪ for a spooky, ♪
240
00:09:20,172 --> 00:09:23,843
♪ a spooky kind of looove. ♪
241
00:09:24,214 --> 00:09:24,886
♪ Ooh la la ooh ♪ -
242
00:09:24,886 --> 00:09:28,056
♪ Ooh la la ooh ♪ ♪ Nobody tries to understand it, ♪
243
00:09:28,186 --> 00:09:31,043
♪ But I can feel my soul demand it, ♪
244
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♪ a spooky, ♪
245
00:09:32,913 --> 00:09:36,785
♪ a spooky kind of looove. ♪
246
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♪ And I don’t care, ♪
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♪ what they say about me. ♪
248
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:45,857
♪ I don't care, ♪
249
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♪ I just gotta be free. ♪
250
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♪ To run, run, run, run, run. ♪
251
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♪ Free to run, run, run, run, run. ♪
252
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:59,371
♪ Free to run, run, run, run, run. ♪
253
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:03,157
♪ Free to run, run, run, run into the arms of ♪
254
00:10:03,158 --> 00:10:05,028
♪ a spooky, ♪
255
00:10:05,029 --> 00:10:08,014
♪ a spooky kind of looove. ♪
256
00:10:08,243 --> 00:10:11,343
♪ A spooky kind of love. ♪
257
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:16,471
♪ A spooky kind of looove. ♪♪
258
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:19,369
BLITZØ: Wow, nice one, Mils.
259
00:10:19,370 --> 00:10:20,942
I think I found the problem though!
260
00:10:20,947 --> 00:10:23,734
The readings were coming from above us, so let’s get up there and-
261
00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:24,642
oh, ass!
262
00:10:24,644 --> 00:10:25,500
- Enough!
263
00:10:26,328 --> 00:10:26,971
- What?
264
00:10:26,971 --> 00:10:27,664
- I’m done.
265
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,243
I don’t wanna play ghost hunter with you, and I-
266
00:10:30,244 --> 00:10:31,600
- Uh, It’s ghost-fuckers.
267
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,600
- I wasn’t done!
268
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,342
You know, I always love to have fun with you,
269
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:41,156
and I ain’t said boo to you moping around like a sad sack for weeks.
270
00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:42,579
But we have bills to pay.
271
00:10:42,778 --> 00:10:43,566
So look,
272
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:48,643
you can go be pathetic and play sex ghosts, if that’s what you need to do,
273
00:10:48,644 --> 00:10:50,885
but I gotta get this job done.
274
00:10:50,886 --> 00:10:51,646
- Fine!
275
00:10:51,648 --> 00:10:53,329
Who needs you anyway!?
276
00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:56,900
[Valley accent] Bethany Ghost-Fucker works ALONE!
277
00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,557
Yeah, who needs you anyway?
278
00:11:00,557 --> 00:11:03,366
Fucking ghost denying piece of shi-IIIT!
279
00:11:03,856 --> 00:11:05,228
What the fuck is this?
280
00:11:17,528 --> 00:11:22,743
[Eerie music]
281
00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:24,229
Ugh, uh, ahh!
282
00:11:26,256 --> 00:11:27,099
Oh shit.
283
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,313
Shit, shit shit shit.
284
00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:30,414
Satan, Satan, Satan. Oh, FUCK!
285
00:11:30,414 --> 00:11:31,387
Millie?!
286
00:11:32,428 --> 00:11:35,043
[Gasping]
287
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,713
Millie?! Millie I need help!
288
00:11:37,715 --> 00:11:40,210
I can’t hold on, Millie!!
289
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:41,427
[Gasping]
290
00:11:43,256 --> 00:11:46,342
Oh, oh fuck me, the hell is that?
291
00:11:46,344 --> 00:11:48,293
Wo-AAH!
292
00:11:49,471 --> 00:11:51,370
[Blitzø screaming]
293
00:11:52,342 --> 00:11:53,000
Millie!
294
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,913
Did you not hear me calling for help?
295
00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:55,642
M-M-Mils!
296
00:11:55,644 --> 00:11:58,543
- [Distorted] You ALWAYS need help, Blitz!
297
00:11:59,671 --> 00:12:02,857
Always needing to take from those around you,
298
00:12:02,857 --> 00:12:06,356
and leaving them worse and more broken than you found them.
299
00:12:06,357 --> 00:12:09,084
You think you can change?
300
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:12,528
You’ll never stop fucking people’s lives up.
301
00:12:12,535 --> 00:12:17,570
When was the last time you actually loved someone without hurting them?
302
00:12:17,572 --> 00:12:19,313
[Blitzø hyperventilating]
303
00:12:25,571 --> 00:12:26,766
BLITZØ: MOM!
304
00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,229
Momma-
305
00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:32,057
I was having the worst dream.
306
00:12:32,057 --> 00:12:33,171
[Blitzø sobbing]
307
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,370
- [Distorted] This isn’t a dream,
308
00:12:35,371 --> 00:12:36,938
this is your life.
309
00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:39,270
And it always will be.
310
00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:42,000
NO! NO, NO, NO MOM I’M SORRY!
311
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,685
MOM PLEASE I’M SORRY!
312
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,299
- Blitz?
313
00:12:47,356 --> 00:12:48,956
BLITZ! [Blitzø crying]
314
00:12:48,957 --> 00:12:50,499
Are you okay?!
315
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:51,328
What happened?
316
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:52,824
- No, no, don’t touch me!
317
00:12:52,828 --> 00:12:55,555
I destroy everything, everyo- I-
318
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:58,200
I make everyone’s lives worse.
319
00:12:58,201 --> 00:12:59,624
- Not mine!
320
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:00,714
Blitz…
321
00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:03,413
Remember how we met?
322
00:13:04,856 --> 00:13:06,028
- What?
323
00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:07,770
[Pool balls clacking]
324
00:13:13,557 --> 00:13:15,171
[Guitar strums]
325
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:26,400
- Soooo.
326
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,313
You the bitch that took our hit?
327
00:13:28,315 --> 00:13:29,914
- You lookin’ for payback?
328
00:13:29,914 --> 00:13:32,913
If so, you came to the wrong fucking BAR!
329
00:13:32,914 --> 00:13:34,356
[Millie grunting]
330
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:37,356
- Wo-hoh!
331
00:13:37,614 --> 00:13:38,956
Ni-ice shot!
332
00:13:38,956 --> 00:13:41,971
I can see why Moxxie was so impressed with you.
333
00:13:42,671 --> 00:13:45,000
[Millie growls]
334
00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:48,770
[Millie grunting]
335
00:13:49,356 --> 00:13:50,870
Hup- oh!
336
00:13:51,216 --> 00:13:52,485
Impressive!
337
00:13:52,956 --> 00:13:54,207
- Who’s that?
338
00:13:54,214 --> 00:13:55,271
Your boss? Hah!
339
00:13:55,729 --> 00:13:56,413
- Ow!
340
00:13:57,557 --> 00:14:00,113
HA he fucking wishes.
341
00:14:00,114 --> 00:14:02,700
No, I work for myself, lady.
342
00:14:05,129 --> 00:14:06,243
Nice one!
343
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:07,256
- Bullshit!
344
00:14:07,751 --> 00:14:08,574
Who sent you?
345
00:14:08,774 --> 00:14:10,100
Who are you working for?!
346
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,870
- What? You don’t believe me?
347
00:14:11,871 --> 00:14:15,113
- Imps don’t work for themselves, asshole.
348
00:14:16,928 --> 00:14:18,098
- Well this one does,
349
00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:20,300
and he’s very interested in having you join his team.
350
00:14:20,301 --> 00:14:21,771
[Millie grunts]
351
00:14:21,772 --> 00:14:24,543
- You think you have anything to offer me?
352
00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:30,313
Double whatever you’re getting paid now!
353
00:14:31,557 --> 00:14:32,614
Ha ha!
354
00:14:32,615 --> 00:14:34,183
- I’m between jobs.
355
00:14:34,384 --> 00:14:35,100
HAH!
356
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,714
[Blitzø grunts]
357
00:14:37,763 --> 00:14:38,199
- Huh.
358
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,013
This powerhouse? How’d that happen?
359
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:44,450
- Not exactly a shortage of imp assassins in Wrath.
360
00:14:45,171 --> 00:14:46,956
Reputation is everything.
361
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,242
- And what’s your reputation, hmm?
362
00:14:49,634 --> 00:14:51,629
[Millie grunts]
363
00:15:01,785 --> 00:15:03,328
- Who the fuck are you?
364
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:05,586
- Someone with an eye for potential.
365
00:15:05,586 --> 00:15:07,971
Now you wanna keep working for peanuts,
366
00:15:07,971 --> 00:15:10,543
or do you want to shake things up?
367
00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,943
- You’re fucking weird. I’m in.
368
00:15:29,714 --> 00:15:32,286
So who’s that Moxxie guy you mentioned?
369
00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:33,386
- Oh, your new coworker.
370
00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,228
Yeah, you- you’ll fucking hate him.
371
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:39,299
MILLIE: That year I spent getting to know your rag tag team
372
00:15:39,301 --> 00:15:41,543
and making our mark in the assassin game-
373
00:15:41,543 --> 00:15:42,514
it was fun.
374
00:15:42,514 --> 00:15:44,985
- Welcome to I.M.P.
375
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,413
[Millie gasps]
376
00:15:46,414 --> 00:15:48,299
- Holy shit!
377
00:15:48,471 --> 00:15:50,299
- Sir, what is this?
378
00:15:50,301 --> 00:15:53,812
- This baby right here is our future, ‘kay?
379
00:15:53,813 --> 00:15:56,086
So I figured we deserve an upgrade, right?
380
00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:58,342
New office, new clients, new ring.
381
00:15:58,344 --> 00:15:59,872
Go on, check it out!
382
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,927
What, not nice enough for you?
383
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,756
I did the fucking best I could.
384
00:16:06,043 --> 00:16:07,181
- We… heh.
385
00:16:08,243 --> 00:16:09,899
We don’t deserve this.
386
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:10,298
- Huh?
387
00:16:10,299 --> 00:16:12,266
- We’re just Wrathians, Blitz.
388
00:16:12,466 --> 00:16:13,242
Muscle.
389
00:16:13,442 --> 00:16:16,259
It’s all we’re good for, all I’m good for.
390
00:16:16,756 --> 00:16:18,855
It’s why you hired me.
391
00:16:19,071 --> 00:16:23,886
Any demon good at making a buck is welcome in Lust or Greed, but here?
392
00:16:23,886 --> 00:16:26,312
Demons like us ain’t cut out for this.
393
00:16:26,313 --> 00:16:28,041
- Ummm, fuck you.
394
00:16:28,043 --> 00:16:28,685
- What?
395
00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:32,542
- Millie, I have spent too much of my time, energy, and holes
396
00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:36,056
into setting this up for us to entertain your bullshit.
397
00:16:36,057 --> 00:16:38,942
I brought you into this company for a reason, okay?
398
00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:40,198
You’re tougher, smarter,
399
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,442
and frankly more capable than anyone I’ve ever met in any ring.
400
00:16:43,442 --> 00:16:46,913
And I’m more fuckable and business savvy than any succu-bitch alive,
401
00:16:46,914 --> 00:16:48,713
Loonie’s perfect, and Moxxie’s…
402
00:16:48,856 --> 00:16:51,113
probably got some good traits too and I’m sure we’ll figure them out eventually.
403
00:16:51,115 --> 00:16:52,255
The point is,
404
00:16:52,256 --> 00:16:54,612
if we can’t make it here then-
405
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,370
then no one deserves to, right?
406
00:16:56,371 --> 00:17:00,242
'Kay, so stop killing my buzz, and come on, I wanna show you my office!
407
00:17:00,244 --> 00:17:02,814
MILLIE: Most of my life I bought into the idea
408
00:17:02,815 --> 00:17:06,057
that all I could ever be was a simple farm girl.
409
00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:08,076
Or best an underpaid goon.
410
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,657
Until I met some knuckle head who never gave a fuck
411
00:17:11,657 --> 00:17:15,199
about what anyone else said he could or couldn’t be.
412
00:17:15,757 --> 00:17:19,028
He made me believe he could be anything.
413
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:23,087
And that made me feel like I could be anything, too.
414
00:17:23,288 --> 00:17:24,685
He gave me so much...
415
00:17:24,885 --> 00:17:28,286
A career, a husband, a future.
416
00:17:28,486 --> 00:17:29,757
And now...
417
00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:32,157
He’s my best friend.
418
00:17:32,157 --> 00:17:32,863
- You…
419
00:17:33,064 --> 00:17:34,329
you don’t hate me?
420
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:36,155
- Naw, never.
421
00:17:37,643 --> 00:17:38,413
Look.
422
00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:40,542
What I said earlier,
423
00:17:40,671 --> 00:17:44,629
you’ve just always been so unbothered by everything.
424
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:46,212
Almost bulletproof and,
425
00:17:46,213 --> 00:17:49,713
I guess I never realized how much I depended on that.
426
00:17:50,814 --> 00:17:53,932
I didn’t know how to react to you being reduced to…
427
00:17:54,132 --> 00:17:55,243
Bethany.
428
00:17:55,586 --> 00:17:59,385
But I should’ve respected you like you always do for me.
429
00:18:00,299 --> 00:18:01,370
I’m sorry.
430
00:18:02,513 --> 00:18:03,142
- Better?
431
00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:03,813
- Much.
432
00:18:03,814 --> 00:18:04,428
- Good.
433
00:18:04,429 --> 00:18:05,100
- Now-
434
00:18:05,429 --> 00:18:07,186
you ready to finish this thing?
435
00:18:07,328 --> 00:18:08,428
- Yeah!
436
00:18:09,242 --> 00:18:12,000
But we still don’t even know what this thing is!
437
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,385
- Come on, Blitz.
438
00:18:13,528 --> 00:18:15,874
What’s the only thing you know that comes to Earth
439
00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:18,314
and fucks with people’s minds that badly.
440
00:18:18,315 --> 00:18:20,971
- I don’t know, it’s something that like an infestor demon would do-
441
00:18:20,971 --> 00:18:21,485
ohhh.
442
00:18:21,487 --> 00:18:22,400
- Bingo!
443
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:26,000
SPOOKY VOICE: So-ho. Figured it out, have you?
444
00:18:26,599 --> 00:18:28,500
A bit out of your depth,
445
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,614
aren’t you little ones?
446
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,643
[Creepy laughter]
447
00:18:33,644 --> 00:18:35,513
- Damn our tiny fucking legs!
448
00:18:38,213 --> 00:18:40,528
ROLANDO: You know my secret,
449
00:18:40,529 --> 00:18:45,343
I guess you gotta die like all the reeest!
450
00:18:46,356 --> 00:18:49,729
[Blitzø grunts and coughs]
451
00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,480
Oh, this is fun!
452
00:18:59,599 --> 00:19:01,785
[Rolando laughs]
453
00:19:05,513 --> 00:19:07,500
- Atta girl, Mils!
454
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,586
- No thatta, bitch!
455
00:19:31,013 --> 00:19:37,075
[Maniacal laughter]
456
00:19:37,276 --> 00:19:40,986
You call yourselves assassins!
457
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:48,299
Eenie,
458
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,742
meenie,
459
00:19:49,743 --> 00:19:51,449
miny…
460
00:19:52,643 --> 00:19:53,814
mo.
461
00:20:00,671 --> 00:20:04,500
Welcome to the show, asshole.
462
00:20:06,486 --> 00:20:09,657
I hear this one’s a real titillator.
463
00:20:28,385 --> 00:20:29,200
- Blitz!
464
00:20:33,614 --> 00:20:38,713
- Looks like someone’s trying to ruin our good time.
465
00:20:40,770 --> 00:20:44,355
That was a nice heart to heart y'all had earlier.
466
00:20:44,356 --> 00:20:47,399
Be a shame if you went and ruined it
467
00:20:47,401 --> 00:20:49,770
like you always do.
468
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:57,928
[Ronaldo cackling]
469
00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:02,213
- Are you oka-
470
00:21:02,214 --> 00:21:03,213
AHH!
471
00:21:07,314 --> 00:21:11,528
- Oh the filthy little Wrathian wants to help!
472
00:21:13,742 --> 00:21:17,057
You can’t help anyone, you’re just the muscle remember?
473
00:21:17,057 --> 00:21:20,229
It’s all you and your imp kind are good for,
474
00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:22,086
you said it yourself.
475
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,528
I’m in his mind, bitch, I see everything.
476
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:30,528
Every thought, every opinion, and boy-
477
00:21:30,786 --> 00:21:35,413
does he have some nasty shit to say about you.
478
00:21:36,156 --> 00:21:40,199
[Maniacal laughter]
479
00:21:43,871 --> 00:21:45,986
- No, STOP!
480
00:21:47,114 --> 00:21:50,986
- Your level of insecurity is intoxicating.
481
00:21:50,987 --> 00:21:54,913
I can’t wait to see how you taste
482
00:21:54,915 --> 00:21:58,628
when you drive away the one person left
483
00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:01,586
who puts up with your bullshit.
484
00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:09,885
He thinks you’re a brute!
485
00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:13,671
Too stupid to do anything but kill!
486
00:22:14,900 --> 00:22:17,913
You never should’ve left the farm!
487
00:22:17,914 --> 00:22:20,343
You’re nothing but a backwards,
488
00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:21,100
filthy,
489
00:22:21,101 --> 00:22:22,170
inbred,
490
00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:23,457
lowborn,
491
00:22:23,513 --> 00:22:25,713
fucking hick!
492
00:22:27,557 --> 00:22:28,599
[Millie chuckles]
493
00:22:28,671 --> 00:22:29,286
- Ya done?
494
00:22:29,287 --> 00:22:30,402
- Excuse me?
495
00:22:33,929 --> 00:22:37,113
Nobody cares about you or what you want,
496
00:22:37,114 --> 00:22:39,708
they’re too caught up in their own misery
497
00:22:39,713 --> 00:22:42,213
to even remember you exist.
498
00:22:42,356 --> 00:22:44,320
- Now look here, combover.
499
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,645
You may think you know everything,
500
00:22:46,846 --> 00:22:47,846
but you missed two.
501
00:22:47,846 --> 00:22:50,870
One: your words don’t mean shit to me,
502
00:22:50,872 --> 00:22:51,700
and two:
503
00:22:51,701 --> 00:22:53,452
Blitz can handle this!
504
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:56,685
So buckle up, buttercup!
505
00:23:19,557 --> 00:23:21,545
- Ugh, good work Mils.
506
00:23:21,744 --> 00:23:22,447
Oh-ho!
507
00:23:22,647 --> 00:23:24,342
Ah FUCK, IT’S ME!
508
00:23:24,344 --> 00:23:25,971
- Oh! Shit, sorry!
509
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:26,786
[Millie chuckles]
510
00:23:26,787 --> 00:23:28,229
Good to have you back, boss.
511
00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:30,971
- You little ass plugs are done for.
512
00:23:30,971 --> 00:23:32,971
You’re dead, Bethany!
513
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:40,400
- Well that’s where you’re wrong.
514
00:23:40,401 --> 00:23:43,129
I ain’t Bethany Ghost-Fucker.
515
00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:47,600
Tonight I’m Blitz DEMON-DICKER!
516
00:23:56,913 --> 00:23:58,671
[Electricy crackling]
517
00:23:58,672 --> 00:24:02,171
[Rolando screaming]
518
00:24:02,371 --> 00:24:05,814
[Screaming turns distorted]
519
00:24:07,171 --> 00:24:11,770
And THAT’S how you get GHOST-FUCKED!!
520
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,557
- Let’s go home.
521
00:24:14,557 --> 00:24:16,900
- Yeah, fuck hotels.
522
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,599
- So I’m your best friend, huh?
523
00:24:25,601 --> 00:24:26,700
- What do you think?
524
00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:28,500
- I think…
525
00:24:28,828 --> 00:24:32,156
I- I’ve never had a real friend that I didn’t wanna fuck.
526
00:24:32,757 --> 00:24:36,413
- That mean you’re not gonna try to be our third anymore?
527
00:24:36,786 --> 00:24:38,090
- No.
528
00:24:39,429 --> 00:24:40,857
Not anymore.
529
00:24:43,929 --> 00:24:46,057
- The bird got to you that bad, huh?
530
00:24:46,057 --> 00:24:47,299
- I guess.
531
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,414
- Sooo, you gonna keep stalking us all the time?
532
00:24:51,442 --> 00:24:53,843
- Well you know, your husband is still a little fuckable.
533
00:24:53,844 --> 00:24:55,671
- Yeah, he is.
534
00:24:55,742 --> 00:24:57,813
I hope he’s doing okay.
535
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:02,961
- I did it?
536
00:25:03,586 --> 00:25:04,849
I did it!
537
00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:08,086
I finally figured it out!
538
00:25:08,114 --> 00:25:09,114
- You uh...
539
00:25:09,194 --> 00:25:11,086
You forgot to carry the two there.
540
00:25:16,213 --> 00:25:18,913
TV NARRATOR: Now back to Ghost Fuckers,
541
00:25:18,914 --> 00:25:20,913
The Musicaaaal!
542
00:25:20,914 --> 00:25:21,671
[Moxxie gasps]
543
00:25:21,672 --> 00:25:23,185
[Piano]
544
00:25:23,186 --> 00:25:23,879
MAN: Bethany!
545
00:25:23,885 --> 00:25:24,856
This is it!
546
00:25:25,256 --> 00:25:27,329
Let the spirits fill you!
547
00:25:27,329 --> 00:25:28,742
BETHANY: Oh my god, I’m gonna do it!
548
00:25:28,743 --> 00:25:30,299
I’m gonna fuck a ghost.
549
00:25:31,213 --> 00:25:34,114
♪ My spirit box is humming hot! ♪
550
00:25:34,115 --> 00:25:38,113
♪ Drippin' down my thigh. ♪
551
00:25:38,114 --> 00:25:41,100
♪ The portal gapes, my body aches! ♪
552
00:25:41,299 --> 00:25:44,570
♪ C’mon ghost, give me a try! ♪
553
00:25:44,571 --> 00:25:47,042
♪ I’m ready! ♪
554
00:25:47,044 --> 00:25:49,129
♪ I wanna fuck a ghost! ♪
555
00:25:49,130 --> 00:25:51,757
MAN: Bethany, the spectrometer’s going crazy!
556
00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:55,356
This ghost has huge dead dick energy!
557
00:25:55,357 --> 00:25:56,229
BETHANY: Hot!
558
00:25:56,230 --> 00:25:58,971
♪ You can take me from beyond! ♪
559
00:25:58,971 --> 00:26:02,841
♪ Lemme taste your ectoplasm. ♪
560
00:26:02,843 --> 00:26:06,014
♪ I want the dick that no one gets! ♪
561
00:26:06,015 --> 00:26:09,471
♪ Make me polter-gasm. ♪
562
00:26:09,471 --> 00:26:11,942
♪ I’m ready! ♪
563
00:26:11,943 --> 00:26:14,257
♪ I wanna fuck a ghost! ♪
564
00:26:14,713 --> 00:26:17,213
ENSEMBLE: ♪ She’s ready! ♪
565
00:26:17,257 --> 00:26:19,657
♪ She wants to fuck a ghost. ♪
566
00:26:19,657 --> 00:26:22,256
BETHANY: ♪ ‘Cause we’re ghost fuckers! ♪
567
00:26:22,258 --> 00:26:25,929
♪ We love fuckin ghosts! ♪
568
00:26:26,643 --> 00:26:29,385
♪ Yeah, we’re ghost fuckers ♪
569
00:26:29,386 --> 00:26:31,128
♪ They’re really dead, ♪
570
00:26:31,130 --> 00:26:34,729
♪ and we’re really horny! ♪
571
00:26:34,856 --> 00:26:38,242
♪ No silly laws of god or man, ♪
572
00:26:38,243 --> 00:26:41,252
♪ can keep us from our sexy plan! ♪
573
00:26:41,452 --> 00:26:45,185
♪ To up slicking a spectral slut, ♪
574
00:26:45,486 --> 00:26:50,528
♪ we can’t wait to ghost-bust a nut! ♪
575
00:26:50,529 --> 00:26:53,056
♪ I’m ready! ♪
576
00:26:53,057 --> 00:26:57,371
♪ I wanna fuck a ghost! ♪
577
00:26:57,372 --> 00:26:59,986
♪ Yeah I do, I’m ready! ♪
578
00:26:59,987 --> 00:27:01,343
♪ I wanna fuck a- ♪
579
00:27:01,344 --> 00:27:02,713
♪ Yeah, I wanna fuck a- ♪
580
00:27:02,971 --> 00:27:04,814
♪ Yeah, I wanna fuck a- ♪
581
00:27:05,057 --> 00:27:06,599
♪ I wanna fuck a- ♪
582
00:27:06,601 --> 00:27:08,256
♪ Yeah, I wanna fuck a- ♪
583
00:27:08,257 --> 00:27:10,228
♪ Oh I wanna fuck a- ♪
584
00:27:10,229 --> 00:27:11,922
♪ [Sexually] Yeah! I wanna fuck a- ♪
585
00:27:11,929 --> 00:27:14,857
Oh god! Oh my god that was way too cold, I totally regret it.
586
00:27:15,185 --> 00:27:16,185
But hot.
587
00:27:16,356 --> 00:27:18,757
ENSEMBLE: ♪ Oh yeah, she fucked a ghost. ♪♪