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This episode of

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It's the End of the World as We Know it

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and I Feel Fine

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was made possible by contributions

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from slaves like you.

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Spank you very much.

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"Which brings us once again

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to the urgent realization

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of just how much there is

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still left to own.

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Item 6 on the agenda:

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The meaning of life."

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Gooooooooood morning slaves

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and welcome to another sedition of

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It's the End of the World as we Know it

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and I Feel Fine, where the long journey

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to a brighter tomorrow

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begins with a single step.

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"In the past few weeks, uh...

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five high profile bankers have died

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all from apparent suicides."

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"Another one!"

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"Hmm?"

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"Another one just went past. Downwards."

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"Must be a board meeting."

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I am your host, the Stimulator

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and it seems like just about

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every other week I get a message

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that goes something like this:

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"Yo Stim!

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Big fan of the show.

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I just have one question...

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when are you going to do a sedition

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on anarcho-capitalism?

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Have you ever read Murray Rothbard?

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True anarchy is synonymous


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with free markets."

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For the most part, I don't

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respond to these types of questions.

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So... for all those of you

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who have asked me over the years,

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the answer is

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Ahem:

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Fuck anarcho-capitalism!

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Seriously… at best, the attempt to

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marry anarchism and capitalism

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is a nonsensical contradiction.

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And at worst, 


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it's the political equivalent of

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what would happen if

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Ayn Rand and Mussolini

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spawned a fedora-toting,

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Austrian love-child,

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who happened to be born with a disease

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that meant it couldn't go outside

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and so was forced to live its entire life

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confined to the bowels of

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online Reddit forums.

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Now… to be clear,

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as an anarchist

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I'm all for smashing the state.

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but there's nothing particularly

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revolutionary or liberatory

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about smashing the state

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if it just means handing more power

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over to corporations.

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If anything,

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it only makes shit way fucking worse.

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And if you don't believe me…

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just ask the people of Flint, Michigan.


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"We started to lose our hair,

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all five of us.

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And we started developing rashes

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on our arms and our face."

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Back in March of 2011,

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Michigan's an-cap Governor, Rick Snyder

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"I'm an accountant."

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signed a bill which allowed for

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the special appointment of so-called

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“emergency financial managers”

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which are essentially just a cabal

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of corporate technocrats

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who are granted the supreme authority

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to override decisions

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made by local governments,

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all in the name of market efficiency.


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"Get in there. Get the job done.

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Get out."

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In 2014,

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in an effort to pinch some pennies,

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Flint's Emergency Manager

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Darnell Earley,

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switched the source

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of the city's drinking water

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to the heavily polluted Flint River,

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which is chock full of a delicious,

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thirst-quenching,

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industrial chemical solvent,

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called trihalomethane.

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This toxic fucking slurry immediately

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began corroding the city's pipes,

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causing a "trickle-down" effect of sorts

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- with shit tons of lead

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leaching into the water supply

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and ultimately exposing the city's

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100,000 residents

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to severe fucking lead poisoning.

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"I think in retrospect... uhh

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if we all had, uhh, you know,

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20/20 hindsight,

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we'd do a lot of things different."

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"I'm an accountant."

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"I love you cuz you kill people."

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And now, impoverished Flint residents

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who can’t afford to pay

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for their poison fucking water

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are getting their pipes shutoff altogether

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"Stop the water shutoff!

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Water is a human right!"

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just like their neighbours

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in the cash-strapped city of Detroit

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where thousands of peeps

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have had their drinking water cut off

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in strict accordance with

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the libertarian logic

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of the free fucking market.


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Or maybe you can ask


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peeps living in California's

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San Fernando Valley,

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who for months now

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have been dealing with

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a giant fucking natural gas leak...

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"Hey Stim!

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I've got a natural gas leak for ya!

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Jesus Fucking Christ, that's rank.

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You're a sick fuck Agitator.


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Anyway, as I was saying…

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residents of the Porter Ranch community

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north of Los Angeles,

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are currently facing the United Snakes'

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biggest environmental disaster since 2010,

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when the BP's Deepwater Horizon oil rig

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blew the fuck up in the Gulf of Mexico.


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For months now,

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a steady stream of methane

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has been spewing out the Aliso Canyon

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underground natural gas storage facility,

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causing a slew of health problems

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for local residents.

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"And I have terrible headaches,


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my daughter experiences stomach pain,

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my son's got nosebleeds.

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It's just really bad."

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forcing the evacuation of thousands

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of peeps from the surrounding community,

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and leading the state governor to declare

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a motherfuckin state of emergency.

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To make matters even worse...

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methane is about 86 times more powerful

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than C02, in terms of its

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greenhouse gas effect,

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meaning that this fuck-up is making

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a gigantic contribution to the

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runaway climate change already

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fueling a historically unprecedented

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regional drought.

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At its highest level,

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this leak accounts for a whopping 25%

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of California’s total emissions

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– roughly equivalent to the effects of

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driving 4.5 million fucking cars,

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every single motherfuckin day.

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This epic clusterfuck

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has been compounded by the fact that

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Southern California Gas,

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the company which owns the site,

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inexplicably removed the facility's

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emergency shut-off valve

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and never replaced it.

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No doubt because doing so

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would have cost them money

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that they didn't want to spend.

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And since the leak is 8,000 feet

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underground, and extremely hard to get,

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its expected to take several months to fix

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meaning that there's nothing that peeps

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can do but wait for the free market

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to do its magic.


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Fuck anarcho-capitalism.

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So yeah....

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I hope that answers your question.

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Now stop bugging me about it.



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♫♫ "These them droppers

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who don't hold heat.

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Gangstas who don't stroll streets.

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Next level criminality

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keeping shit low key.

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Not like Bobby Shmurda's dumb ass

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but they do the Shmony tho.

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I mean they show money

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then the police dance on our bones.

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It's time to overthrow

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cuz these banksters don't play

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plus made the rules up in this shady game.

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Gangbanging for major pay

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they pushin their laws like narcotics.

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Brown and Black males in them prisons

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box up they products

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while how Nike be bankin

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of the prison complex.

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Even Michael Jordan a gangsta

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- he also bank off the process.

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Ooo... so fuck your idol.

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Your idol about that greed...

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plus them Nikes don't fit

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my place, so dues

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That's why I sold my freeze.

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What about our babies?

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They get employed overseas.

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And our women?

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Y'all know what happens

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to our women overseas.

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Prostitution rings,

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cuz poverty's to blame.

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Exploitation at its highest

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always made in the USA

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by these gangstas

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and these pimps

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The trill us to trap us

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y'all know what is is." ♫♫

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For weeks now,

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high-priced financial analysts,

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hedge fund managers, and wall street execs

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have been shitting their

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ten thousand dollar designer suits

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as a convergence of warning signs

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indicate that a clusterfuck

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of epic proportions is about to hit the

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global motherfuckin economy.


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"Mr Plouffe, have you seen the latest

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stock price?

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It's hitting an all-time low of $18,

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and it's still dropping.

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Almost 400 billion dollars of wealth

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was lost today."

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Unlike the great financial shit storm

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of 2007 and 2008,

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when bankers and coked-out stock brokers

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were too busy groping around

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in a greasy fucking orgy of CDO

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and mortgage-backed derivatives trading

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to see the writing on the fucking wall...

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"And then that happens."

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this time around,

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this same assortment of capitalist scum

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are completely fucking aware of

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the ten story shit-nami

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looming on the not-so-distant horizon

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but have no fucking way to stop it.


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While millions of peeps were

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glued to their screens this month

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cycling through photos of J-Beebs'

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fucked up new hairdo

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and reading an endless supply of clickbait

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articles about the new Star Wars flick,

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several top bankers were sounding the horn

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alerting their fellow rats

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that the time has come to abandon ship.


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"Shit!"

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<i>Cheering</i>

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"Hey that was Wilkens of finance."

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"No that was Robertson."

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On January 8th a leading economist

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from the Royal Bank of Scotland 


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published a memo, urging investors

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to, quote, “Sell everything!”

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"How can the price be going down?!"

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"Something's wrong!"

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and warning that 2016 is going to be a

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quote, “cataclysmic year” that could see

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up to one fifth of the total

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global stock market wiped the fuck out.

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"What you're telling me is that

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the music is about to stop,

286
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and we're going to be left holding

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the biggest bag of odorous excrement

288
00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:59,717
ever assembled in the history of....

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00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,769
capitalism?"

290
00:09:01,769 --> 00:09:03,277
This gloomy prediction has been

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more or less echoed by economists

292
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,044
at several behemoth fucking banks,

293
00:09:07,044 --> 00:09:09,450
including Morgan Stanley, Barclays,

294
00:09:09,450 --> 00:09:12,252
Bank of America Merrill fucking Lynch,

295
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,454
Deutsche Bank, and JP Morgan.


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This time around

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the epicenter of the crisis is China,

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the very engine of global economic growth

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00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:22,062
that has been propping up

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00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,797
the entire international economy

301
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,432
since the 2008 meltdown.

302
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,632
For years now,

303
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:27,968
gangsta capitalists have been pouring

304
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,803
billions of dollars into

305
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,373
a giant fucking construction boom in China

306
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building sprawling ghost towns

307
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that nobody fucking lives in.


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Agitator: "Except for maybe...

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these chickens."

310
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This insane fucking building bonanza

311
00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:40,916
has used up a huge percentage

312
00:09:40,916 --> 00:09:42,783
of the world's total output of oil,

313
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,419
concrete, coal, steel and other metals….

314
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,522
and now that the party's wrapping up,

315
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the prices of these commodities are

316
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in total fucking free-fall,

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with some analysts predicting

318
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that the price of oil could drop down to

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as low as $10 a motherfuckin barrel.


320
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"Bring it down more, fuck!"

321
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,101
This is yet more good news for

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opponents of the Motherfuckin' Tar Sands,

323
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,602
since the energy and extractive

324
00:10:04,602 --> 00:10:06,240
corporations most heavily invested

325
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,742
in mining and refining this toxic sludge

326
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,712
are going to take a serious fucking hit.

327
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Who knows… some of them might go bankrupt

328
00:10:13,114 --> 00:10:14,564
and have to shut down!


329
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"What do you mean you fuckin got laid off?

330
00:10:16,484 --> 00:10:18,852
"The fuckin price of oil... or some shit."

331
00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,985
But while this looming economic collapse

332
00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,339
may seem like great news

333
00:10:22,339 --> 00:10:23,657
to peeps eagerly awaiting

334
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,026
the violent death of capitalism, and

335
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,961
the chance to piss on its fucking grave,

336
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,066
the unfortunate reality is that


337
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:31,468
it will be mostly poor peeps

338
00:10:31,468 --> 00:10:33,073
who get fucked in the end.

339
00:10:33,073 --> 00:10:34,739
Further economic turmoil risks

340
00:10:34,739 --> 00:10:36,537
increasing the nationalist backlash

341
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,873
that is already reaching a fever pitch

342
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:40,209
in the West

343
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and will no doubt make life

344
00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:42,215
even more desperate

345
00:10:42,215 --> 00:10:44,005
for peeps in the Global South,

346
00:10:44,005 --> 00:10:45,545
who are already suffering the brunt

347
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,278
of global inequality and

348
00:10:47,278 --> 00:10:48,352
runaway climate change.


349
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After the 2008 crisis,


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00:10:50,418 --> 00:10:52,653
rich fucking bankers got bailed out

351
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,920
on the public dime

352
00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,464
while millions of poor peeps

353
00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:56,726
found themselves homeless,

354
00:10:56,726 --> 00:10:58,459
and millions more lost their jobs.

355
00:10:59,239 --> 00:11:00,628
Politicians around the world

356
00:11:00,628 --> 00:11:02,662
followed up this economic shock therapy

357
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,228
by gutting pensions,

358
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:07,235
privatizing public services and industries

359
00:11:07,235 --> 00:11:08,735
and pushing through painful cuts

360
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:09,953
to public spending.

361
00:11:09,953 --> 00:11:11,071
If we want to avoid having

362
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,072
the same thing happen

363
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,340
next time around, peeps will

364
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,575
have to be ready to seriously throw down.

365
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,223
Voting for Bernie's just not gonna cut it.

366
00:11:17,223 --> 00:11:18,746
"Raaar!" "Oh.... jesus!"

367
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:20,547
A recent report published by Oxfam

368
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,548
pointed out that

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00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:23,283
the 62 richest motherfuckers on earth

370
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:26,153
now possess the same amount of wealth

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00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,554
as the bottom 50 percent

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00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,064
of the world's population.

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00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,912
Now I'm no economist…

374
00:11:30,912 --> 00:11:32,426
"Just tell me the truth!"

375
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,446
but it seems like the most sensible

376
00:11:34,446 --> 00:11:36,827
and financially prudent thing to do

377
00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:38,827
would be to round up these 62 posh,

378
00:11:38,827 --> 00:11:41,198
caviar-sucking parasites,

379
00:11:41,198 --> 00:11:43,058
put them all onto a cruise ship,

380
00:11:43,058 --> 00:11:45,472
tell them they’re going to a luxury resort

381
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,652
in the Maldives,

382
00:11:46,652 --> 00:11:47,975
steer that cruise ship into

383
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:49,810
the middle of the Arctic fucking ocean,

384
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:50,778
sink it,

385
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,679
and start divvying up their shit.

386
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,455
This might not fix everything…

387
00:11:54,455 --> 00:11:55,949
but it’d be a good start.

388
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,788
And that about does it for this sedition

389
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:02,623
of It’s the End of the World as we Know it


390
00:12:02,623 --> 00:12:03,825
and I Feel Fine.

391
00:12:03,825 --> 00:12:05,426
Many of you found this fuckin show

392
00:12:05,426 --> 00:12:06,827
through the corporate spy website

393
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,429
known as FedBook.

394
00:12:08,429 --> 00:12:10,330
Since we don’t own this infrastructure,

395
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,700
we’re quite sure that at any moment

396
00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,273
they could yank our pages

397
00:12:14,273 --> 00:12:15,926
and you muthafuckas wouldn’t know

398
00:12:15,926 --> 00:12:17,932
when we put out a new sedition.


399
00:12:17,932 --> 00:12:19,124
One way to get this

400
00:12:19,124 --> 00:12:20,236
filthy fuckin show

401
00:12:20,236 --> 00:12:21,880
without Zuckerberg’s interference

402
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,754
is to subscribe to our podcast.

403
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,504
But if that’s not your thing,

404
00:12:25,504 --> 00:12:26,680
you can always sign up

405
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:29,417
to our twice-a-month guacomail newsletter.

406
00:12:29,417 --> 00:12:31,519
This month we will raffle one of

407
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:33,690
our bad ass subMedia t-shirts to a lucky

408
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,488
person who subscribes to guacomail.

409
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:37,792
To do so, just visit my fuckin website:

410
00:12:40,004 --> 00:12:40,934
With that said,

411
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,564
I want to thank the peeps who donated

412
00:12:42,564 --> 00:12:43,564
despite living


413
00:12:43,564 --> 00:12:45,132
in these shitty economic times.

414
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:47,592
So... much gratitude to Jonathan, Kyle,

415
00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:50,637
Cristian, Bruno, Steven, Miguel, Shannon,

416
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,308
Francois, John, Benjamin, Jennifer,

417
00:12:52,308 --> 00:12:55,142
Yania, Claire, Samuel, Veronica,

418
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,711
Darren, Justin, Guillaume, Robin, Ranko,

419
00:12:57,711 --> 00:13:00,881
Hassan, Hansen, Deda, Raul, Max, Baraton,

420
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,683
Karlis and Blade.


421
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:04,367
Tostilocos!

422
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:05,777
I also would like to welcome

423
00:13:05,777 --> 00:13:08,321
the newest member of the taconspiracy -


424
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,223
Nada.

425
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,990
Stay tuned next time for another

426
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,237
riotus roundup of the news

427
00:13:13,237 --> 00:13:15,309
from the global muthafuckin resistance.

428
00:13:15,599 --> 00:13:17,164
Hasta la pasta compañeros!


429
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,099
♫♫ "Tryin to kill us and trap us,

430
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:20,800
they handlin they biz.

431
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,636
They the real gangstas,

432
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:24,104
they the real pimps,

433
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,639
they trill us to trap us,

434
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,408
y'all know what it is.

435
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,279
Tryin to kill us and trap us,

436
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,489
they handling they biz." ♫♫