0:00:10.085,0:00:16.620
The month of September 1942[br]is etched in my memory.

0:00:16.989,0:00:20.459
It was a few weeks[br]before my twelfth birthday,

0:00:20.510,0:00:22.950
and my father had just died.

0:00:23.520,0:00:26.554
My mother, who had[br]no professional training,

0:00:27.044,0:00:33.340
found it very hard to spend[br]the fees for our school fees.

0:00:33.650,0:00:35.833
And my three brothers and me,

0:00:36.993,0:00:41.355
she took the help of friends[br]and scholarships

0:00:41.695,0:00:43.460
in order to educate us.

0:00:44.294,0:00:48.670
She didn't make a difference [br]between my brothers and me.

0:00:49.470,0:00:52.842
All she wanted was that[br]all of us should excel.

0:00:54.126,0:00:57.913
When I was 20, I had[br]a semi-arranged marriage,

0:00:58.329,0:01:03.465
and my husband was posted,[br]in 1954, to England,

0:01:03.465,0:01:04.978
and I went with him.

0:01:05.763,0:01:10.740
And I took advantage of being there[br]for three years and studied law.

0:01:11.796,0:01:14.104
When I returned to India,

0:01:14.404,0:01:20.405
I was required to train with a senior [br]before I could practice law.

0:01:20.671,0:01:23.856
So I decided I should get the best lawyer,

0:01:23.856,0:01:25.569
join the best lawyer,

0:01:25.569,0:01:29.130
and I zeroed down on someone [br]called Sachin Chaudhary.

0:01:29.130,0:01:33.930
But it was extremely difficult[br]to get an appointment with him.

0:01:34.124,0:01:36.077
After great difficulty, I did,

0:01:37.217,0:01:44.233
and I was full of trepidation[br]when I went to meet him.

0:01:45.252,0:01:48.508
But I put on a brave front, [br]just as I am doing now.

0:01:48.508,0:01:49.877
(Laughter)

0:01:50.169,0:01:52.018
(Applause)

0:01:57.350,0:01:59.665
He had some idea why I had come,

0:01:59.665,0:02:01.748
but he wanted to be completely clear.

0:02:01.748,0:02:05.355
So I told him that I wanted[br]to practice law

0:02:05.355,0:02:07.506
and I wanted to join his chambers.

0:02:08.284,0:02:12.594
He was not in favor[br]of women joining the law,

0:02:12.594,0:02:14.125
so he tried to dissuade me.

0:02:14.652,0:02:15.778
He said,

0:02:16.268,0:02:19.956
"Young woman, instead of joining [br]the legal profession,

0:02:19.956,0:02:21.231
go and get married."

0:02:21.231,0:02:22.268
(Laughter)

0:02:22.268,0:02:23.281
So I said to him,

0:02:23.281,0:02:25.453
"Sir, I am already married."

0:02:25.453,0:02:26.685
(Laughter)

0:02:26.685,0:02:29.676
"Then go and have a child," he advised.

0:02:29.676,0:02:32.042
"I already have a child."

0:02:32.042,0:02:33.223
(Laughter)

0:02:33.223,0:02:36.531
"It's not fair to the child to be alone,

0:02:36.901,0:02:38.757
so you should have a second child."

0:02:38.757,0:02:40.088
(Laughter)

0:02:40.088,0:02:43.528
I said, "Mr. Chaudhary,[br]I have two children."

0:02:43.528,0:02:46.618
(Laughter)

0:02:46.618,0:02:49.982
So, taken aback[br]for the third time, he said,

0:02:49.982,0:02:51.810
"Come and join my chambers.

0:02:51.810,0:02:55.719
You're a persistent young woman,[br]and you will do well at the bar."

0:02:57.616,0:03:00.235
After about 20 years of practice,

0:03:00.235,0:03:03.550
I was appointed a judge[br]at the Delhi High Court,

0:03:03.550,0:03:05.927
and in 1991,

0:03:06.307,0:03:11.113
I was the first woman to be chief justice[br]of a state high court.

0:03:11.113,0:03:13.442
(Applause)

0:03:18.292,0:03:19.527
As I mentioned earlier,

0:03:19.527,0:03:21.862
I was 20 when I got married,

0:03:22.742,0:03:29.489
and my fiancee and his family [br]never demanded a dowry or anything else.

0:03:30.423,0:03:32.215
We had a simple celebration.

0:03:33.447,0:03:38.254
We served vanilla ice cream[br]and salted cashew nuts.

0:03:38.254,0:03:42.317
But we still had fun,[br]and we enjoyed ourselves.

0:03:42.317,0:03:46.264
So, you can see, that you[br]don't need anything extra.

0:03:46.264,0:03:52.238
But I, now, I'm happily married[br]for the last 64 years.

0:03:52.238,0:03:54.039
(Applause)

0:04:01.879,0:04:06.199
Every woman, every mother,[br]wants her daughter to be married.

0:04:06.613,0:04:08.333
And when she meets a young man,

0:04:08.333,0:04:13.150
she tries to size him up[br]to find out if he's a suitable boy.

0:04:14.567,0:04:17.663
But at the back of her mind is worry.

0:04:17.663,0:04:19.349
Does he want a dowry?

0:04:19.659,0:04:21.893
If so, how much?

0:04:23.010,0:04:25.745
In fact, it's the curse of dowry

0:04:26.095,0:04:30.780
that makes parents not want to have girls.

0:04:32.070,0:04:37.480
In the old days, when girls and boys[br]didn't have equal inheritance,

0:04:38.052,0:04:42.692
a young girl was given stridhan, [br]which is bride's wealth,

0:04:43.252,0:04:45.022
at the time of her marriage.

0:04:45.992,0:04:49.452
It was something that was passed [br]from a mother to her daughter

0:04:49.452,0:04:50.934
and consisted of jewelry.

0:04:50.940,0:04:52.985
It was her personal property.

0:04:53.310,0:04:59.085
But even that was often taken away[br]by the bride-groom's parents

0:04:59.085,0:05:02.465
and given to the groom's sister [br]when she was getting married.

0:05:02.759,0:05:05.059
So the bride had nothing.

0:05:06.419,0:05:09.289
Slowly, the prevalence of dowries started.

0:05:09.289,0:05:11.415
This meant gifts were given

0:05:11.415,0:05:13.175
not only to the bride

0:05:13.392,0:05:17.128
but to the bride-groom and to his family.

0:05:17.664,0:05:20.242
And demands, dowry demands,

0:05:20.242,0:05:23.696
were negotiated at the time[br]of an arranged marriage.

0:05:24.826,0:05:29.531
Parents were worried as to how [br]they would meet these demands,

0:05:29.531,0:05:34.669
which sometimes increased[br]from day to day and from hour to hour

0:05:34.669,0:05:36.693
as the wedding date approached.

0:05:36.693,0:05:41.003
Sometimes, just as the wedding ceremony[br]was about to take place,

0:05:41.003,0:05:42.846
a fresh demand would be made.

0:05:43.447,0:05:45.298
It was a great trauma for parents,

0:05:45.298,0:05:47.918
especially those who had[br]more than one daughter.

0:05:47.918,0:05:51.864
They were bankrupt,[br]spent more than they had,

0:05:51.864,0:05:57.736
and the extortion sometimes [br]continued even after the wedding.

0:05:58.192,0:06:01.648
So instead of loving their daughters[br]and wanting to have them,

0:06:01.953,0:06:03.535
they considered them a curse.

0:06:04.913,0:06:09.710
And they resorted to something[br]like female feticide

0:06:09.710,0:06:11.818
or female infanticide.

0:06:13.559,0:06:17.638
In order to prevent this evil of dowry,

0:06:17.981,0:06:19.183
an act was passed.

0:06:19.183,0:06:21.214
It was called the Dowry Prohibition Act,

0:06:21.214,0:06:22.566
1961.

0:06:23.140,0:06:26.622
Before the act,[br]dowries were displayed openly.

0:06:27.053,0:06:29.369
After the act, the displays stopped.

0:06:30.498,0:06:33.893
But the giving and taking[br]of dowry continued,

0:06:34.464,0:06:40.148
and the demand for ostentatious[br]functions and feasts

0:06:40.148,0:06:42.365
by the bride-groom's family,

0:06:42.365,0:06:45.683
to be paid for by the bride's family,

0:06:45.683,0:06:47.122
continued.

0:06:48.316,0:06:51.511
This was really terrible.

0:06:51.511,0:06:54.735
And very few parents

0:06:54.735,0:06:58.620
would reject a young man

0:06:58.620,0:07:01.768
if he or his family demanded a dowry.

0:07:01.768,0:07:03.355
Most would not,

0:07:03.355,0:07:08.576
even though they knew[br]it was illegal to give or take a dowry.

0:07:08.576,0:07:10.547
Let me give you an example.

0:07:11.368,0:07:13.338
The year was 1991.

0:07:13.703,0:07:17.367
A very senior Supreme Court of India judge

0:07:17.367,0:07:19.561
had arranged his daughter's wedding.

0:07:20.998,0:07:22.021
I asked him,

0:07:22.021,0:07:23.888
"Are you going to give a dowry?"

0:07:25.098,0:07:26.139
Remember,

0:07:26.139,0:07:30.830
this was 30 years after the passing[br]of the Dowry Prohibition Act.

0:07:31.067,0:07:32.632
He was quiet.

0:07:33.116,0:07:34.938
And then he said,

0:07:35.258,0:07:37.213
"I'll tell you the honest truth.

0:07:37.892,0:07:40.789
I will indeed give a dowry for my daughter

0:07:40.789,0:07:46.099
because I cannot sacrifice[br]her happiness and her life.

0:07:46.099,0:07:51.226
In my community, she cannot[br]get married without a dowry.

0:07:52.457,0:07:56.577
But I promise you,[br]I will not take a dowry for my son."

0:07:58.248,0:08:00.578
This is not what I wanted to hear,

0:08:00.634,0:08:05.184
but at least it was half a step forward.

0:08:06.193,0:08:07.621
So what do you think?

0:08:08.654,0:08:11.947
Can the passing of laws change attitudes?

0:08:14.114,0:08:19.873
In India, with a very patriarchal society,

0:08:19.873,0:08:25.013
changing attitudes and changing[br]mindsets is extremely difficult,

0:08:25.013,0:08:28.473
and it's a slow process,[br]but we need to fast-forward it.

0:08:29.184,0:08:30.612
I had hoped

0:08:30.982,0:08:34.190
that with the succession laws[br]being changed

0:08:34.190,0:08:37.070
and daughters getting[br]some inheritance rights,

0:08:37.866,0:08:41.792
the law would have had[br]some effect on the evil of dowry.

0:08:43.578,0:08:45.498
In 1956,

0:08:46.028,0:08:48.498
the Hindu Succession Act was passed,

0:08:48.727,0:08:50.387
and in that year,

0:08:50.387,0:08:54.827
it was provided in the act[br]that daughters and sons

0:08:55.108,0:08:57.386
would get equally

0:08:57.386,0:09:01.547
from their father's property[br]which was self-acquired.

0:09:03.946,0:09:06.854
This, of course, [br]should have made a difference.

0:09:07.543,0:09:09.943
But it didn't seem to have done that.

0:09:10.975,0:09:14.705
In fact, women[br]were not willing to assert.

0:09:15.401,0:09:17.091
Let me tell you of an incident.

0:09:18.462,0:09:20.492
I was a judge at the Delhi High Court.

0:09:20.492,0:09:23.864
Three young men[br]came for me and wanted -

0:09:23.864,0:09:25.030
their father had died,

0:09:25.030,0:09:27.017
he hadn't left a will,

0:09:27.017,0:09:30.717
and they wanted their property[br]to be divided into three parts.

0:09:31.085,0:09:33.071
I found they had three sisters.

0:09:33.474,0:09:34.637
So I said to them,

0:09:34.637,0:09:39.211
"I will divide it into six parts[br]because that's what the law says,

0:09:39.211,0:09:41.748
and each sibling should get one share."

0:09:43.456,0:09:44.527
They protested.

0:09:44.527,0:09:45.837
They said,

0:09:45.837,0:09:47.633
"Our sisters are married,

0:09:47.633,0:09:50.009
our sisters have got dowries,

0:09:50.699,0:09:55.154
and they have given us [br]relinquishment deeds."

0:09:56.133,0:10:00.641
I was not happy, so I insisted[br]they bring the sisters to court

0:10:00.641,0:10:01.907
because I was not sure

0:10:01.907,0:10:06.137
whether the sisters had been coerced[br]into giving their relinquishment deeds

0:10:06.137,0:10:07.903
or they didn't know the law.

0:10:08.763,0:10:10.748
When the women came, I asked them,

0:10:10.748,0:10:12.385
"Do you know the law?"

0:10:12.539,0:10:15.721
And they said, "Yes."

0:10:15.721,0:10:17.809
"So then why are you[br]giving up your share?"

0:10:18.740,0:10:20.491
And this is what they said:

0:10:21.397,0:10:27.214
"We do not want to have[br]any problems with our brothers

0:10:27.214,0:10:30.239
or spoil our relationships[br]with our brothers

0:10:30.239,0:10:34.943
because if in the future[br]we need anything of any sort,

0:10:34.943,0:10:39.746
to whom shall we turn[br]except our brothers, our natal family?"

0:10:41.537,0:10:45.872
So they knew what was happening.

0:10:46.252,0:10:48.950
And I said to the young men,

0:10:49.740,0:10:51.468
"If you were six brothers,

0:10:51.468,0:10:54.959
you would have happily shared [br]and got one-sixth each,

0:10:54.959,0:10:57.559
so why are you depriving your sisters?"

0:10:58.058,0:10:59.975
But they were adamant,

0:10:59.975,0:11:06.073
and their sisters also were not willing[br]to withdraw their relinquishment deeds.

0:11:06.906,0:11:11.956
So, though they were aware,[br]they were not willing to assert.

0:11:14.293,0:11:19.103
Many people are not aware[br]that since 2005 -

0:11:19.325,0:11:21.045
that's almost 10 years ago -

0:11:22.260,0:11:26.480
the daughters' rights of inheritance[br]have been widened

0:11:26.480,0:11:31.146
and now include not only[br]the self-acquired property of the father

0:11:31.486,0:11:34.776
but also the ancestral property -

0:11:36.440,0:11:42.146
unless, of course, the father[br]wills away the property to someone else.

0:11:42.287,0:11:45.075
So fathers, we tell you,

0:11:45.075,0:11:48.118
do not will the property away[br]to your sons or daughters.

0:11:48.631,0:11:52.701
Make sure your daughters[br]get their legitimate share.

0:11:52.989,0:11:55.377
(Applause)

0:11:58.497,0:12:05.378
You know, it reminds me[br]of the story of Sudha Goel

0:12:05.479,0:12:09.407
because daughters need[br]to have control of their property,

0:12:09.407,0:12:10.981
they need to feel secure,

0:12:11.534,0:12:14.698
and Sudha Goel had been given a dowry.

0:12:16.000,0:12:21.478
One December night,[br]the neighbors heard her screaming:

0:12:21.798,0:12:24.430
"Bachao! Bachao! Save me! Save me!"

0:12:24.430,0:12:27.900
So they rushed and forced[br]their way into the flat

0:12:27.900,0:12:30.903
and found her in flames.

0:12:33.135,0:12:37.250
Her mother-in-law and her husband[br]were simply sitting there.

0:12:38.606,0:12:42.606
She said, "These people have killed me.

0:12:42.876,0:12:45.858
They have taken my gold and everything."

0:12:47.621,0:12:53.148
There are hundreds of such cases[br]in India every year.

0:12:55.343,0:12:56.589
How do we do it?

0:12:56.589,0:12:59.222
How do we take steps to stop this?

0:13:01.222,0:13:06.404
I think that I can[br]summarize it in four words.

0:13:07.786,0:13:10.073
First, awareness.

0:13:10.715,0:13:13.127
Second, assertion.

0:13:13.599,0:13:15.865
Third, attitude change.

0:13:16.357,0:13:18.876
And fourth, action.

0:13:20.255,0:13:22.626
So, sisters,

0:13:22.626,0:13:26.617
don't be blackmailed by -[br]emotionally blackmailed by your brothers.

0:13:27.147,0:13:30.130
Don't take dowries;[br]don't take after dowries.

0:13:30.130,0:13:31.956
Demand your inheritance.

0:13:32.636,0:13:37.420
Brothers, husbands, and fathers,

0:13:37.879,0:13:42.682
make sure that your daughter[br]gets her legitimate share.

0:13:43.581,0:13:48.861
And make sure that she has[br]that confidence that is important for her.

0:13:48.861,0:13:51.601
Do the legal thing, not the illegal.

0:13:52.773,0:13:54.796
So when you look forward,

0:13:55.171,0:13:57.982
make sure your daughters get[br]what they deserve.

0:13:58.449,0:14:01.021
You should not let your daughters down,

0:14:02.206,0:14:04.559
and they will not let you down.

0:14:05.773,0:14:07.581
(Applause)

0:14:10.791,0:14:12.914
So this is the mantra:

0:14:13.265,0:14:15.585
Inheritance, not dowry.

0:14:16.061,0:14:18.437
Inheritance, not dowry.

0:14:18.803,0:14:24.483
Repeat it, act upon it,[br]and get others to act upon it as well.

0:14:28.640,0:14:34.600
I'd like to end with an appeal[br]by a daughter to her parents.

0:14:35.745,0:14:39.730
"Father, why do you[br]discriminate against me

0:14:39.730,0:14:42.123
when I can be as good as my brother?

0:14:42.123,0:14:46.573
Mother, nurture, nourish, and educate me,

0:14:46.573,0:14:50.622
and you will see[br]that I will not be a burden

0:14:50.622,0:14:53.652
but will control my own destiny.

0:14:54.001,0:14:58.098
And you will have nothing to fear[br]when Brother is not there.

0:14:58.098,0:15:01.448
I will look after both of you[br]in your old age.

0:15:01.448,0:15:04.606
I ask only to be treated equally.

0:15:04.606,0:15:06.532
Will you not dare?

0:15:06.532,0:15:09.742
So that I have the freedom to choose[br]and the right to care

0:15:09.742,0:15:13.867
and am no longer[br]the prisoner of my own gender,

0:15:13.867,0:15:18.972
unable to resist or retaliate[br]against injustice.

0:15:21.075,0:15:23.314
Oh Father, give me a chance.

0:15:23.314,0:15:25.105
Just give me a chance.

0:15:25.253,0:15:28.550
Oh Mother, break the bonds of tradition

0:15:28.550,0:15:33.806
and let me into the sunlight[br]to dance, to dance, to dance."

0:15:33.806,0:15:35.606
(Applause)