Hello, ladies and gentlemen.
May I have this dance, please?
This is the question that has been asked by many people, including myself.
When you touch someone with respect, something changes.
But we no longer touch each other
with all of the new technology around us today.
Many human beings no longer communicate face-to-face.
We speak to each other through text and faceless media.
It's much easier to avoid our natural feelings and emotions.
The Spike Jonze's film, last year, "Her" depicted what we could look forward to:
having a love relationship with our computer.
Getting on to public transportation or even getting into the elevator,
we no longer make eye contact, or body contact for that fact.
We have become experts at isolating ourselves.
This is a global issue.
Mr. Einstein said,
"I fear the day when technology takes over our human interaction.
We will have a world of idiots - a generation of idiots."
Well, I stand before you today to show you another way
that's fun, easy, and will make your life very, very different.
What if I told you, if you are shy,
you could become confident and more self-assured?
What if I told you you could change your physical demeanor?
And what if I told you,
you could have trust with someone whom you don't know
and that person could even be an enemy?
All of this is possible through ballroom dancing.
(Laughter)
"Pardon? What? Huh? Why?", you might ask.
Well, it forces two people to stand facing each other,
look each other in the eye, and move together.
All the while,
they get to know each other, have fun in the embrace hold.
It changed my life,
and I'm going to show you how it can change yours.
When I call you "ladies and gentlemen," you feel differently about yourself.
You sit up straighter, you feel positive and confident,
and you send out with your body language and your posture
a signal that you are confident and assured.
When people come to me for lessons,
at the very beginning, they would walk in like this.
Three months later, like this.
Six months later, standing a bit straight.
A year later, they leave standing so tall and so straight,
feeling full of confidence and looking elegant.
This is the magic of ballroom dancing.
It teaches many life skills, such as self-respect, discipline,
teamwork, and good manners.
The invitation to dance, the escort position, the embrace hold,
all create a relationship of respect.
The gentleman asking the lady, "May I have this dance, please?"
She responds,"With pleasure."
He then escorts her onto the dance floor, and takes her in the embrace hold.
When you treat someone with such respect,
they return the gesture, and now you are in a relationship of give and take.
Here is a photograph
of my dancing partner of 38 years, Yvonne Marceau, and myself.
And I'm really proud to tell you, we won the World Championship four times.
(Cheers) (Applause)
Let's talk about touch.
When a human being dances with another human being,
you get to know that person in a way that you cannot describe.
You get to feel their reaction to your touch,
and your impression of them is altered.
You could be dancing with someone from another nationality,
another ethnic group, another socioeconomic status, or race.
But when you touch that someone and look them in the eye,
they now become a unique individual,
and not a label.
You have learned compassion.
Trust. Gentlemen, this is for you.
How many times have you gone out dancing with your wives or girlfriends,
and found she starts leading you?
(Laughter)
Well, ladies feel the music and learn the steps much faster.
When you dance with someone, it requires a special relationship.
For me as a teacher, I ask the lady to close her eyes.
It's incredible how well this works.
Asking the ladies to give up control,
trust their partner, and just go with the flow.
How often in life can you relax and trust the person you're with?
Now you're moving beautifully as one, four feet pretending to be two.
You can't be angry or sad while you're dancing.
The body changes, and your soul is elevated.
Also, did you know that ballroom dancing helps prevent dementia?
The study at the Einstein Medical College said,
"Ballroom dancing two or three times a week
reduced the risk of Alzheimers by 76%."
The nearest other study was doing crossword puzzles four days a week,
and that was 47%.
Playing golf - forget about it.
(Laughter)
0%.
(Laughter)
It's true.
Ballroom dancing is for all ages.
So, with all due respect, I ask you, get out of your computer chair
and go and learn to salsa, or merengue, or some tango;
you'll even have a great time.
I was born in Jaffa in 1944.
My father was from Belfast, Northern Ireland, and he was Protestant,
my mother Palestinian and Catholic.
Now, being Palestinian meant we were uprooted from our home in 1948
for the creation of the state of Israel.
With nowhere else to go, we landed in Amman in Jordan
where I grew up with a broken front tooth, very shy, and did not like to smile.
Later on, as a teenager in England, I was made fun of and bullied at school
because of the way I spoke English, because of my accent.
Then one day, a school friend, Margaret,
asked me if I would like to join her at a local dancing school.
I was so terrible at it, at the beginning.
And even though my first dancing teacher
was shouting me, and I mean really shouting at me,
because I couldn't hear the 1-2-3 beats of the waltz,
I persevered and then made it my career.
Now, dancing with my dancing partner, Yvonne Marceau,
in Grand Hotel on Broadway
allowed me to have my daytime hours free.
And knowing how much my life had changed because of ballroom dancing,
I volunteered my services at a New York City public school
where I tought 30 unwilling and unruly 11-year-old children to dance.
(Laughter)
They eventually liked it, and I loved it.
This became Dancing Classrooms,
the social and emotional arts-in-education development program
designed to cultivate essential life skills in children
through the practice of social dance.
To date, Dancing Classrooms, I am proud to say, has instructed
over 400,000 children in 31 cities around the world.
(Applause)
Studies have shown that the grades of the students have gone up,
bullying has decreased,
and the whole school culture has changed for the better.
My journey into the New York City public schools
was depicted in the movie, the feature film, "Take the Lead,"
starring Antonio Banderas, portraying yours truly.
(Laughter)
I also had the privilege of working in a school
exclusively for autistic children,
and one boy stands out in particular.
He did not like to speak or have his voice heard.
And at the culminating party where parents and friends were invited,
out of the blue, he suddenly steps into the center of the circle
and announces to everybody,
what a great time he had had and how much he loved to dance.
He was nine years old.
Tears flowed down from his parents' eyes.
There are so many other similar stories,
but ballroom dancing isn't only for children.
It has worked in psychiatric clinics in Geneva
where doctors and their caregivers danced with their patients.
And the same thing in the adult homeless shelter in Arizona.
In both situations,
a high percentage of the participants began to feel normal again,
and they regained their self-esteem and dignity,
all because they were treated like ladies and gentlemen
through the social graces
that go hand in hand with ballroom dancing.
Ballroom dancing even breaks barriers
between two peoples that have been enemies for so long,
and overcome hatred, prejudice and mistrust.
In 2011, I was able to fulfill my lifelong dream:
I returned to Jaffa,
and I worked with Jewish and Palestinian Israeli children
and brought them to dance together.
This was the hardest project I have ever, ever done,
yet the most gratifying.
This was a very, very important moment.
It was the power of touch:
asking these ladies and gentlemen, these boys and girls,
to dance together ballroom style.
My journey was documented in the movie "Dancing in Jaffa",
and I also have to say that if you change the children,
you change the parents and you also then help change the world.
The trailer of the film will give you an idea.
(Video) (Music)
Pierre Dulaine: Boys, come over here.
Lois and Alaa stand next to each other, please.
PD: I was born in Jaffa, but we left when I was four years old,
and what I can give back to children is ballroom dancing.
The program is 10 weeks.
Palestinian and Jewish children together.
Woman 1: From the viewpoint of Islam, boys and girls are not allowed to dance.
PD: May I have this dance, please?
Girl 1: Now we have to dance with them.
Girl 2: If my dad sees me with an Arab, he'll kill me.
A Jew with an Arab.
Woman 1: You guys are together. Boy 1: No. Woman 1: Why not?
PD: I think, we are going to cancel this school.
[In a city torn between two cultures]
Jaffa is Jewish!
God is great and all praise to Allah!
Girl: Mom, I am shaking! Woman: Come here, don't be afraid.
PD: What I'm asking them to do is to dance with the enemy.
Girl 2: Where's your dad?
Boy 2: Do you know what a sperm bank is? Girl 2: No.
(Music)
Woman 2: At the beginning, she was like a closed flower.
Now she's like this.
Woman: Music! Girl: Mom, stop!
PD: If you start with a child,
and they learn to respect themselves first,
then they can respect other people as they're growing up, this is my hope.
[Dancing in Jaffa]
(Video ends)
(Applause)
PD: Yes, something changes when you dance with someone.
All you need to do is ask a partner, "May I have this dance, please?"
In closing, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to ask you something.
When you leave this auditorium, please, leave in escort position
(Laughter)
and feel how your posture, how your stance will be,
and how much you will enjoy it.
Then go home, put on some music,
hold your partner in the embrace hold,
and watch your relationship change.
It will change your life, one step at the time.
Good luck, thank you and good afternoon.
Thank you.
(Applause)