THIS MOVIE HAS BEEN MADE BY OLD PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY UNDERSTAND TEENAGERS
(clicks mouse)
(piano interlude)
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
(groans)
(farts)
ONLINE THERE'S A LOT OF DUMB SHIT
(grunts)
BUT NOT AS DUMB AS
THIS MOVIE
(giggles)
You didn't tell me you were gonna film this.
(giggles) Okay.
(unzipping pants)
ON APRIL 9TH, 2013, A VIDEO OF TRISHA PAYTA'S WAS ANONYMOUSLY POSTED
TO THE INTERNET
- (man) Hey, look, look. - (laughter off screen)
OMG did you see the Trisha vid?!
Ya! Shouldn't someone tell the cops or something?
Meh.
- WHORE - SLUT
PEE QUEEN!
3 DAYS LATER...
Hey, my little fishies, I thought I would kill myself.
(gun shot)
(screaming off screen)
TODAY IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF HER DEATH
(SKYPE music)
(everyone) Hi, guys!
Why are we all talking at once?
What do you guys think about this for the party tonight?
It looks like something I should fuck you in.
(everyone) True!
I'm serious.
Who's your buddy?
Who is that?
Who is that person?
It's probably my mom.
She gets lonely when she drinks.
It's probably a glitch, bros.
- (SKYPE alarm) - GUESS WHO!?!
(Shane) Well, the glitch just typed.
(girl) Who would hack into a dead girl's account?
Maybe it's Trisha.
All right, everyone, hands up. Who's doing this?
Hold on, I'm gonna sperm.
Tell me who posted the video
...or someone dies.
THIS SPRING
Guys? Seriously, who peed in her mouth?
Let's play a game...
...lights out!
(screaming)
"Why don't they just turn off their Skype?" - The NY Times
There's someone in here!
(woman) Hi!
(screaming)
"Why wouldn't the just turn off their computers?" - Wallstreet Journal
Guys, wait!
Why don't we just turn off SKYPE?
(all) Nah!
- (groans) - (everyone else screams)
- (blender whirs) - (screams)
(shrill scream)
- (slurping) - Noooooooo!
Anyone want a smoothie?
SKYPE, seriously, let's just turn off SKYPE.
...4
(screams)
Let's just turn it off!
...3
(screams)
Turn it off!
....2
(screams)
(explosion)
...1
Oh.
(SKYPE hangs up)
That was easy!
UNFRIENDED
The trailer's gonna be better than the movie.
(vapid giggle)
COMING SOON
Hey, what's up, you guys? Hopefully you enjoyed
that dumb ass parody. It was so much fun to make.
Hopefully it was fun to watch.
Make sure to check out the alternate version
with a twist ending over there. Also make sure to give
this video a thumbs up and subscribe.
I make new videos all the time. Check out my latest video
down there, and my latest Vlog down there.
All right, you guys, I'll see you later.
And remember, turn off your computers.
Bye!
[captioned by Subtitle YouTube]