WEBVTT 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:07.270 (Background Music) I had a Black Dog. His name was depression. 00:00:07.270 --> 00:00:10.090 Whenever the Black Dog made an appearance, I felt empty 00:00:10.090 --> 00:00:15.219 and life to seem to slow down. He would surprise me with a visit for no reason 00:00:15.219 --> 00:00:19.090 or occasion. The Black Dog made me look 00:00:19.090 --> 00:00:22.289 and feel older than my years. 00:00:22.289 --> 00:00:24.690 When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life. 00:00:24.690 --> 00:00:29.130 I could only see it through the Black Dog. Activities that usually brought me 00:00:29.130 --> 00:00:30.250 pleasure 00:00:30.250 --> 00:00:34.900 suddenly ceased to. He liked to ruin my appetite. 00:00:34.900 --> 00:00:38.190 He chewed up my memory 00:00:38.190 --> 00:00:41.380 and my ability to concentrate. 00:00:41.380 --> 00:00:44.390 Doing anything or going anywhere with the Black Dog 00:00:44.390 --> 00:00:49.180 required superhuman strength. At social occasions 00:00:49.180 --> 00:00:54.190 he'd sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away. My biggest fear 00:00:54.190 --> 00:00:58.739 was being found out. I worried that people would judge me. Because of the shame and 00:00:58.739 --> 00:00:59.410 stigma 00:00:59.410 --> 00:01:02.760 of the Black Dog, I was constantly worried that I'd be found out 00:01:02.760 --> 00:01:06.900 so I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up. 00:01:06.900 --> 00:01:11.010 Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting. 00:01:11.010 --> 00:01:14.360 Black Dog could make me think and say negative things. 00:01:15.330 --> 00:01:19.060 He could make me irritable and difficult to be around. 00:01:19.060 --> 00:01:22.380 He would take my love 00:01:22.380 --> 00:01:25.690 and bury my intimacy. 00:01:25.690 --> 00:01:28.850 He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive 00:01:28.850 --> 00:01:32.700 and negative thinking. He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to 00:01:32.700 --> 00:01:33.580 be the next day. 00:01:33.580 --> 00:01:37.430 Having a Black Dog in your life isn't so much about feeling a bit 00:01:37.430 --> 00:01:41.780 down, sad or blue. At its worst it's about being devoid of feeling 00:01:41.780 --> 00:01:45.360 altogether. As I got older the Black Dog got bigger 00:01:45.360 --> 00:01:49.060 and he started hanging around all the time. 00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:53.280 I'd chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running. 00:01:53.280 --> 00:01:57.430 But more often than not he'd come out on top. Going down became easier 00:01:57.430 --> 00:01:59.080 than getting up again. 00:01:59.080 --> 00:02:02.160 So I became rather good at self medication. 00:02:02.160 --> 00:02:06.840 Which never really helped. 00:02:06.840 --> 00:02:10.940 Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone. 00:02:10.940 --> 00:02:15.060 The Black Dog had finally succeeded 00:02:15.060 --> 00:02:19.550 in hijacking my life. When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the 00:02:19.550 --> 00:02:21.680 point of it is. 00:02:21.680 --> 00:02:25.170 Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help. 00:02:25.170 --> 00:02:29.280 This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life. 00:02:29.280 --> 00:02:33.320 I learned that it doesn't matter who you are the Black Dog affects millions and 00:02:33.320 --> 00:02:34.370 millions of people. 00:02:34.370 --> 00:02:37.120 It is an equal opportunity mongrel. 00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:40.060 I also learned that there was no silver bullet or magic pill. 00:02:40.060 --> 00:02:43.260 Medication can help some and others might need a different approach 00:02:43.260 --> 00:02:43.870 altogether. 00:02:43.870 --> 00:02:47.620 I also learned that being emotionally genuine and authentic 00:02:47.620 --> 00:02:52.420 to those who are close to you can be an absolute game changer. 00:02:52.420 --> 00:02:55.530 Most importantly I learned not to be afraid of the Black Dog 00:02:55.530 --> 00:02:59.580 and I taught him a few new tricks of my own. 00:02:59.580 --> 00:03:03.440 The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks. So it's important to learn 00:03:03.440 --> 00:03:06.209 how to quiet your mind. 00:03:06.209 --> 00:03:09.560 It's been clinically proven that regular exercise can be as effective for 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:11.500 treating mild to moderate depression 00:03:11.500 --> 00:03:15.870 as antidepressants. So go for a walk or a run, leave the mutt behind. 00:03:15.870 --> 00:03:19.140 Keep a mood journal. Getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic 00:03:19.140 --> 00:03:23.760 and often insightful. Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for. 00:03:23.760 --> 00:03:27.080 The most important thing to remember is that no matter how 00:03:27.080 --> 00:03:30.170 bad it gets. If we take the right steps 00:03:30.170 --> 00:03:34.480 talk to the right people, Black Dog Days can and will pass. 00:03:34.480 --> 00:03:37.410 I wouldn't say that I'm grateful for the Black Dog but he's been an 00:03:37.410 --> 00:03:38.500 incredible teacher. 00:03:38.500 --> 00:03:41.700 He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life. 00:03:41.700 --> 00:03:45.380 I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it's better to embrace 00:03:45.380 --> 00:03:45.830 them. 00:03:45.830 --> 00:03:49.200 Black Dog may always be part of my life 00:03:49.200 --> 00:03:52.410 but he'll never be the beast that he was. 00:03:52.410 --> 00:03:56.030 We have an understanding. I've learned through knowledge, patience, 00:03:56.030 --> 00:04:00.230 discipline and humour the worst Black Dog can be made to heel. 00:04:00.230 --> 00:04:03.540 If you're in difficulty never be afraid to ask for help. 00:04:03.540 --> 00:04:07.109 There is absolutely no shame in doing so. The only shame 00:04:07.109 --> 00:04:07.910 is missing out on life.