1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:07,270 (Background Music) I had a Black Dog. His name was depression. 2 00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:10,090 Whenever the Black Dog made an appearance, I felt empty 3 00:00:10,090 --> 00:00:15,219 and life to seem to slow down. He would surprise me with a visit for no reason 4 00:00:15,219 --> 00:00:19,090 or occasion. The Black Dog made me look 5 00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:22,289 and feel older than my years. 6 00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,690 When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life. 7 00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:29,130 I could only see it through the Black Dog. Activities that usually brought me 8 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,250 pleasure 9 00:00:30,250 --> 00:00:34,900 suddenly ceased to. He liked to ruin my appetite. 10 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:38,190 He chewed up my memory 11 00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:41,380 and my ability to concentrate. 12 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:44,390 Doing anything or going anywhere with the Black Dog 13 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:49,180 required superhuman strength. At social occasions 14 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:54,190 he'd sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away. My biggest fear 15 00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:58,739 was being found out. I worried that people would judge me. Because of the shame and 16 00:00:58,739 --> 00:00:59,410 stigma 17 00:00:59,410 --> 00:01:02,760 of the Black Dog, I was constantly worried that I'd be found out 18 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,900 so I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up. 19 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,010 Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting. 20 00:01:11,010 --> 00:01:14,360 Black Dog could make me think and say negative things. 21 00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:19,060 He could make me irritable and difficult to be around. 22 00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:22,380 He would take my love 23 00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:25,690 and bury my intimacy. 24 00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:28,850 He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive 25 00:01:28,850 --> 00:01:32,700 and negative thinking. He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to 26 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:33,580 be the next day. 27 00:01:33,580 --> 00:01:37,430 Having a Black Dog in your life isn't so much about feeling a bit 28 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:41,780 down, sad or blue. At its worst it's about being devoid of feeling 29 00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:45,360 altogether. As I got older the Black Dog got bigger 30 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:49,060 and he started hanging around all the time. 31 00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:53,280 I'd chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running. 32 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,430 But more often than not he'd come out on top. Going down became easier 33 00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,080 than getting up again. 34 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,160 So I became rather good at self medication. 35 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:06,840 Which never really helped. 36 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,940 Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone. 37 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:15,060 The Black Dog had finally succeeded 38 00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:19,550 in hijacking my life. When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the 39 00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,680 point of it is. 40 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,170 Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help. 41 00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:29,280 This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life. 42 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,320 I learned that it doesn't matter who you are the Black Dog affects millions and 43 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,370 millions of people. 44 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:37,120 It is an equal opportunity mongrel. 45 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,060 I also learned that there was no silver bullet or magic pill. 46 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:43,260 Medication can help some and others might need a different approach 47 00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:43,870 altogether. 48 00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:47,620 I also learned that being emotionally genuine and authentic 49 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:52,420 to those who are close to you can be an absolute game changer. 50 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:55,530 Most importantly I learned not to be afraid of the Black Dog 51 00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:59,580 and I taught him a few new tricks of my own. 52 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:03,440 The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks. So it's important to learn 53 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,209 how to quiet your mind. 54 00:03:06,209 --> 00:03:09,560 It's been clinically proven that regular exercise can be as effective for 55 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,500 treating mild to moderate depression 56 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,870 as antidepressants. So go for a walk or a run, leave the mutt behind. 57 00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:19,140 Keep a mood journal. Getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic 58 00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:23,760 and often insightful. Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for. 59 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,080 The most important thing to remember is that no matter how 60 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:30,170 bad it gets. If we take the right steps 61 00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:34,480 talk to the right people, Black Dog Days can and will pass. 62 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,410 I wouldn't say that I'm grateful for the Black Dog but he's been an 63 00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:38,500 incredible teacher. 64 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:41,700 He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life. 65 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,380 I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it's better to embrace 66 00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:45,830 them. 67 00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:49,200 Black Dog may always be part of my life 68 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,410 but he'll never be the beast that he was. 69 00:03:52,410 --> 00:03:56,030 We have an understanding. I've learned through knowledge, patience, 70 00:03:56,030 --> 00:04:00,230 discipline and humour the worst Black Dog can be made to heel. 71 00:04:00,230 --> 00:04:03,540 If you're in difficulty never be afraid to ask for help. 72 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:07,109 There is absolutely no shame in doing so. The only shame 73 00:04:07,109 --> 00:04:07,910 is missing out on life.