(Background Music)
I had a Black Dog. His name was
depression.
Whenever the Black Dog made an appearance, I felt empty
and life to seem to slow down. He would
surprise me with a visit for no reason
or occasion. The Black Dog made me look
and feel older than my years.
When the rest of the world seemed to be
enjoying life.
I could only see it through the Black Dog.
Activities that usually brought me
pleasure
suddenly ceased to. He liked to ruin
my appetite.
He chewed up my memory
and my ability to concentrate.
Doing anything or going anywhere with the
Black Dog
required superhuman strength. At social
occasions
he'd sniff out what confidence I had and chase
it away. My biggest fear
was being found out. I worried that
people would judge me. Because of the shame and
stigma
of the Black Dog, I was constantly worried that I'd be found out
so I invested vast amounts of energy into
covering him up.
Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting.
Black Dog could make me think and say
negative things.
He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.
He would take my love
and bury my intimacy.
He loved nothing more than to wake me up
with highly repetitive
and negative thinking. He also liked to
remind me how exhausted I was going to
be the next day.
Having a Black Dog in your life isn't so
much about feeling a bit
down, sad or blue. At its worst it's about
being devoid of feeling
altogether. As I got older the Black Dog got
bigger
and he started hanging around all the
time.
I'd chase him off with whatever I thought
might send him running.
But more often than not he'd come out
on top. Going down became easier
than getting up again.
So I became rather good at self
medication.
Which never really helped.
Eventually I felt totally isolated from
everything and everyone.
The Black Dog had finally succeeded
in hijacking my life. When you lose all joy
in life you can begin to question what the
point of it is.
Thankfully this was the time that I sought
professional help.
This was my first step towards recovery
and a major turning point in my life.
I learned that it doesn't matter who you
are the Black Dog affects millions and
millions of people.
It is an equal opportunity mongrel.
I also learned that there was no silver
bullet or magic pill.
Medication can help some and others
might need a different approach
altogether.
I also learned that being emotionally
genuine and authentic
to those who are close to you can be an
absolute game changer.
Most importantly I learned not to be
afraid of the Black Dog
and I taught him a few new tricks of my own.
The more tired and stressed you are the
louder he barks. So it's important to learn
how to quiet your mind.
It's been clinically proven that
regular exercise can be as effective for
treating mild to moderate depression
as antidepressants. So go for a walk or a
run, leave the mutt behind.
Keep a mood journal. Getting your thoughts
on paper can be cathartic
and often insightful. Also keep track of
the things that you have to be grateful for.
The most important thing to remember is
that no matter how
bad it gets. If we take the right steps
talk to the right people, Black Dog Days
can and will pass.
I wouldn't say that I'm grateful for
the Black Dog but he's been an
incredible teacher.
He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my
life.
I learnt that rather than running away
from my problems it's better to embrace
them.
Black Dog may always be part of my
life
but he'll never be the beast that he was.
We have an understanding. I've learned
through knowledge, patience,
discipline and humour the worst Black Dog can be made to heel.
If you're in difficulty never be afraid
to ask for help.
There is absolutely no shame in doing so.
The only shame
is missing out on life.