0:00:13.615,0:00:14.485
Nice hat

0:00:14.746,0:00:15.611
Dork

0:00:15.611,0:00:17.046
You look like a duck

0:00:17.046,0:00:18.688
I had alfred read your books

0:00:18.903,0:00:20.344
He told me they suck

0:00:20.513,0:00:22.257
I'll crush your British nuts until

0:00:22.257,0:00:23.488
They "Bangers and Mash"

0:00:23.488,0:00:25.532
I'v seen better detective work

0:00:25.578,0:00:26.980
In tango and cash

0:00:27.303,0:00:28.189
You chump

0:00:28.189,0:00:30.191
I kick punks like you off the street

0:00:30.714,0:00:31.834
While you and Velma here

0:00:32.110,0:00:33.674
Solving Scoopy-Doo mysteries

0:00:34.350,0:00:35.714
Nothing makes me laugh

0:00:35.776,0:00:37.426
But I bet raps can

0:00:37.426,0:00:38.733
So bring it on

0:00:38.733,0:00:39.764
Bitch

0:00:40.040,0:00:40.820
I am Batman

0:00:40.820,0:00:42.429
I once met a rich fellow

0:00:42.429,0:00:44.180
Who smelled of guano and pain

0:00:44.180,0:00:45.296
Holmes explain

0:00:45.296,0:00:46.551
I deduce this deuce stain

0:00:46.551,0:00:47.665
Is Bruce Wayne

0:00:47.680,0:00:48.345
The billionaire?

0:00:48.345,0:00:49.891
Yes, his wealth would allow

0:00:49.891,0:00:51.133
This adversary of ours

0:00:51.133,0:00:52.797
To afford the toys he need

0:00:52.797,0:00:54.651
Since he has no superpower

0:00:54.651,0:00:56.228
You want a battle, bat?

0:00:56.228,0:00:56.951
Bring it then!

0:00:56.951,0:00:58.519
I heard he has a British Butler

0:00:58.519,0:01:00.006
Good! Then he'll be used to

0:01:00.006,0:01:01.803
Getting served by Englishmen

0:01:01.803,0:01:03.618
Whack vigilante black-pantied

0:01:03.618,0:01:04.966
Spud with no skills

0:01:04.966,0:01:06.509
My sidekick is a doctor

0:01:06.509,0:01:08.815
'cause his flows are so ill

0:01:08.815,0:01:09.917
Shut up, nerds!

0:01:09.917,0:01:11.807
I serve justice, so eat it

0:01:11.807,0:01:13.722
My sidekick only comes around

0:01:13.799,0:01:14.904
When he's needed

0:01:14.904,0:01:15.398
Boy

0:01:15.398,0:01:16.080
Wonder make you wonder

0:01:16.080,0:01:16.982
how your ass got killed

0:01:16.982,0:01:17.981
bite harder than those hounds

0:01:17.981,0:01:18.596
down in Baskerville

0:01:18.596,0:01:19.188
I'll blast you with that

0:01:19.188,0:01:20.129
Bat-wack-rap repellent

0:01:20.129,0:01:20.883
rappel a building, snatch a villain

0:01:20.913,0:01:22.170
then by dinner be chillin'

0:01:22.170,0:01:22.965
gotta secret 'bout your homegirl

0:01:22.965,0:01:23.935
Irene Adler

0:01:23.935,0:01:24.825
took her back to my nest

0:01:24.825,0:01:25.559
to bam pow kersplat her

0:01:25.559,0:01:26.558
I'll shatter that fiddle

0:01:26.558,0:01:27.291
with a chop of the hand

0:01:27.291,0:01:28.410
holy Conan Doyle let's get 'em

0:01:28.410,0:01:29.211
oh god damn

0:01:29.211,0:01:30.153
You're not smart

0:01:30.429,0:01:31.470
You're selfish

0:01:31.470,0:01:32.476
You endanger everyone's life

0:01:32.476,0:01:34.176
Why don't you let your boyfriend here

0:01:34.191,0:01:35.362
Go home to his wife

0:01:35.715,0:01:36.584
Nobody likes you

0:01:36.584,0:01:37.950
Not your brother, not you partner

0:01:37.950,0:01:39.066
Nor Scotland Yard

0:01:39.066,0:01:40.501
You'll die alone with no friends

0:01:40.501,0:01:42.758
Except that needle in your arm

0:01:43.328,0:01:45.905
This mustn't register on an emotional level

0:01:45.905,0:01:48.405
First: exploit childhood tragedy

0:01:49.713,0:01:50.803
Then, gesture with pipe

0:01:50.803,0:01:52.304
Watson finishes punchline

0:01:52.843,0:01:54.763
Next, acknowledge compliment

0:01:54.763,0:01:56.526
Conclude with killer catchphrase

0:01:56.526,0:01:58.257
I believe your parents' homicide

0:01:58.319,0:01:59.484
Is why you mask your face

0:01:59.484,0:02:00.744
You're shamed and traumatized

0:02:00.775,0:02:02.530
And haunted by the vast disgrace

0:02:02.576,0:02:04.148
of watching like a passive waste

0:02:04.148,0:02:04.989
As momma died

0:02:04.989,0:02:06.780
and daddy was dispatched with haste

0:02:06.780,0:02:08.192
Holmes you've cracked the case!

0:02:08.192,0:02:10.475
you're a batshit crazy basketcase

0:02:10.475,0:02:11.572
Bloody good rhymes!

0:02:11.572,0:02:12.780
I've got tonnes

0:02:12.780,0:02:14.854
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was

0:02:15.100,0:02:16.996
Elementary my dear Watson!

0:02:16.996,0:02:17.733
Hoooooo!

0:02:17.733,0:02:18.953
Who won?

0:02:18.953,0:02:20.598
Who's next?

0:02:20.598,0:02:22.518
You decide!