WEBVTT 00:00:13.377 --> 00:00:14.491 Nice hat 00:00:14.491 --> 00:00:15.699 Dork 00:00:15.699 --> 00:00:16.999 You look like a duck 00:00:16.999 --> 00:00:18.717 I had alfred read your books 00:00:18.717 --> 00:00:20.389 He told me they suck 00:00:20.389 --> 00:00:21.689 I'll crush your British nuts until 00:00:21.689 --> 00:00:23.454 They "Bangers and Mash" 00:00:23.454 --> 00:00:24.894 I'v seen better detective work 00:00:24.894 --> 00:00:26.798 In tango and cash 00:00:26.798 --> 00:00:28.098 You chump NOTE Paragraph 00:00:28.098 --> 00:00:29.723 I kick punks like you off the street 00:00:29.723 --> 00:00:31.720 While you and Velma here 00:00:31.720 --> 00:00:33.683 Solving Scoopy-Doo mysteries 00:00:33.789 --> 00:00:35.343 Nothing makes me laugh 00:00:35.343 --> 00:00:37.432 But I bet raps can 00:00:37.432 --> 00:00:39.336 So bring it on 00:00:39.336 --> 00:00:40.265 Bitch 00:00:40.265 --> 00:00:41.274 I am Batman 00:00:41.474 --> 00:00:42.866 I once met a rich fellow 00:00:42.866 --> 00:00:44.073 Who smelled of guano and pain 00:00:44.073 --> 00:00:44.956 Holmes explain 00:00:44.956 --> 00:00:46.395 I deduce this deuce stain 00:00:46.395 --> 00:00:47.556 Is Bruce Wayne 00:00:47.556 --> 00:00:48.671 The billionaire? 00:00:48.671 --> 00:00:50.640 Yes, his wealth would allow 00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:50.761 This adversary of ours 00:00:50.761 --> 00:00:52.154 To afford the toys he need 00:00:52.154 --> 00:00:54.476 Since he has no superpower 00:00:54.583 --> 00:00:55.869 You want a battle, bat? 00:00:55.869 --> 00:00:56.891 Bring it then! 00:00:56.891 --> 00:00:58.609 I heard he has a British Butler 00:00:58.609 --> 00:01:00.490 Good! Then he'll be used to 00:01:00.490 --> 00:01:01.210 Getting served by Englishmen 00:01:01.210 --> 00:01:02.649 Whack vigilante black-pantied 00:01:02.649 --> 00:01:03.716 Spud with no skills 00:01:04.269 --> 00:01:06.318 My sidekick is a doctor 00:01:06.318 --> 00:01:07.943 'cause his flows are so ill 00:01:07.943 --> 00:01:09.940 Shut up, nerds! 00:01:09.940 --> 00:01:10.962 I serve justice, so eat it 00:01:10.962 --> 00:01:13.841 My sidekick only comes around 00:01:13.841 --> 00:01:14.817 When he's needed 00:01:14.817 --> 00:01:15.467 Boy 00:01:15.467 --> 00:01:17.028 Wonder make you wonder 00:01:17.151 --> 00:01:18.300 how your ass got killed 00:01:18.300 --> 00:01:18.879 bite harder than those hounds 00:01:18.925 --> 00:01:19.628 down in Baskerville 00:01:19.628 --> 00:01:20.206 I'll blast you with that 00:01:20.206 --> 00:01:20.654 Bat-wack-rap repellent 00:01:20.685 --> 00:01:22.201 rappel a building, snatch a villain 00:01:22.201 --> 00:01:22.944 then by dinner be chillin' 00:01:22.944 --> 00:01:23.608 gotta secret 'bout your homegirl 00:01:23.623 --> 00:01:24.119 Irene Adler 00:01:24.211 --> 00:01:24.212 took her back to my nest 00:01:24.366 --> 00:01:25.188 to bam pow kersplat her 00:01:25.833 --> 00:01:25.833 I'll shatter that fiddle 00:01:25.833 --> 00:01:27.405 with a chop of the hand 00:01:27.405 --> 00:01:28.314 holy Conan Doyle let's get 'em 00:01:28.407 --> 00:01:28.438 oh god damn 00:01:29.715 --> 00:01:30.188 You're not smart 00:01:30.449 --> 00:01:31.163 You're selfish 00:01:31.163 --> 00:01:32.464 You endanger everyone's life 00:01:32.464 --> 00:01:34.089 Why don't you let your boyfriend here 00:01:34.089 --> 00:01:35.529 Go home to his wife 00:01:35.529 --> 00:01:36.318 Nobody likes you 00:01:36.318 --> 00:01:37.860 Not your brother, not you partner 00:01:37.954 --> 00:01:38.959 Nor Scotland Yard 00:01:39.036 --> 00:01:40.219 You'll die alone with no friends 00:01:40.219 --> 00:01:42.123 Except that needle in your arm 00:01:43.447 --> 00:01:45.072 This mustn't register on an emotional level 00:01:46.287 --> 00:01:47.812 First: exploit childhood tragedy 00:01:49.365 --> 00:01:50.877 Then, gesture with pipe 00:01:50.877 --> 00:01:52.874 Watson finishes punchline 00:01:52.874 --> 00:01:54.267 Next, acknowledge compliment 00:01:54.267 --> 00:01:56.496 Conclude with killer catchphrase 00:01:56.496 --> 00:01:58.122 I believe your parents' homicide 00:01:58.122 --> 00:01:59.608 Is why you mask your face 00:01:59.608 --> 00:02:00.815 You're shamed and traumatized 00:02:00.815 --> 00:02:02.487 And haunted by the vast disgrace 00:02:02.487 --> 00:02:03.602 of watching like a passive waste 00:02:03.602 --> 00:02:04.948 As momma died 00:02:04.948 --> 00:02:06.574 and daddy was dispatched with haste 00:02:06.574 --> 00:02:08.106 Holmes you've cracked the case! 00:02:08.106 --> 00:02:10.010 you're a batshit crazy basketcase 00:02:10.010 --> 00:02:11.775 Bloody good rhymes! 00:02:11.775 --> 00:02:12.611 I've got tonnes NOTE Paragraph 00:02:12.611 --> 00:02:14.190 Dissing these dynamic douchebags was 00:02:14.190 --> 00:02:16.781 Elementary my dear Watson! 00:02:16.920 --> 00:02:17.975 Hoooooo! 00:02:17.975 --> 00:02:18.950 Who won? 00:02:18.950 --> 00:02:20.436 Who's next? 00:02:20.436 --> 00:02:24.430 You decide!