0:00:13.377,0:00:14.491
Nice hat

0:00:14.491,0:00:15.699
Dork

0:00:15.699,0:00:16.999
You look like a duck

0:00:16.999,0:00:18.717
I had alfred read your books

0:00:18.717,0:00:20.389
He told me they suck

0:00:20.389,0:00:21.689
I'll crush your British nuts until

0:00:21.689,0:00:23.454
They "Bangers and Mash"

0:00:23.454,0:00:24.894
I'v seen better detective work

0:00:24.894,0:00:26.798
In tango and cash

0:00:26.798,0:00:28.098
You chump

0:00:28.098,0:00:29.723
I kick punks like you off the street

0:00:29.723,0:00:31.720
While you and Velma here

0:00:31.720,0:00:33.683
Solving Scoopy-Doo mysteries

0:00:33.789,0:00:35.343
Nothing makes me laugh

0:00:35.343,0:00:37.432
But I bet raps can

0:00:37.432,0:00:39.336
So bring it on

0:00:39.336,0:00:40.265
Bitch

0:00:40.265,0:00:41.274
I am Batman

0:00:41.474,0:00:42.866
I once met a rich fellow

0:00:42.866,0:00:44.073
Who smelled of guano and pain

0:00:44.073,0:00:44.956
Holmes explain

0:00:44.956,0:00:46.395
I deduce this deuce stain

0:00:46.395,0:00:47.556
Is Bruce Wayne

0:00:47.556,0:00:48.671
The billionaire?

0:00:48.671,0:00:50.640
Yes, his wealth would allow

0:00:50.640,0:00:50.761
This adversary of ours

0:00:50.761,0:00:52.154
To afford the toys he need

0:00:52.154,0:00:54.476
Since he has no superpower

0:00:54.583,0:00:55.869
You want a battle, bat?

0:00:55.869,0:00:56.891
Bring it then!

0:00:56.891,0:00:58.609
I heard he has a British Butler

0:00:58.609,0:01:00.490
Good! Then he'll be used to

0:01:00.490,0:01:01.210
Getting served by Englishmen

0:01:01.210,0:01:02.649
Whack vigilante black-pantied

0:01:02.649,0:01:03.716
Spud with no skills

0:01:04.269,0:01:06.318
My sidekick is a doctor

0:01:06.318,0:01:07.943
'cause his flows are so ill

0:01:07.943,0:01:09.940
Shut up, nerds!

0:01:09.940,0:01:10.962
I serve justice, so eat it

0:01:10.962,0:01:13.841
My sidekick only comes around

0:01:13.841,0:01:14.817
When he's needed

0:01:14.817,0:01:15.467
Boy

0:01:15.467,0:01:17.028
Wonder make you wonder

0:01:17.151,0:01:18.300
how your ass got killed

0:01:18.300,0:01:18.879
bite harder than those hounds

0:01:18.925,0:01:19.628
down in Baskerville

0:01:19.628,0:01:20.206
I'll blast you with that

0:01:20.206,0:01:20.654
Bat-wack-rap repellent

0:01:20.685,0:01:22.201
rappel a building, snatch a villain

0:01:22.201,0:01:22.944
then by dinner be chillin'

0:01:22.944,0:01:23.608
gotta secret 'bout your homegirl

0:01:23.623,0:01:24.119
Irene Adler

0:01:24.211,0:01:24.212
took her back to my nest

0:01:24.366,0:01:25.188
to bam pow kersplat her

0:01:25.833,0:01:25.833
I'll shatter that fiddle

0:01:25.833,0:01:27.405
with a chop of the hand

0:01:27.405,0:01:28.314
holy Conan Doyle let's get 'em

0:01:28.407,0:01:28.438
oh god damn

0:01:29.715,0:01:30.188
You're not smart

0:01:30.449,0:01:31.163
You're selfish

0:01:31.163,0:01:32.464
You endanger everyone's life

0:01:32.464,0:01:34.089
Why don't you let your boyfriend here

0:01:34.089,0:01:35.529
Go home to his wife

0:01:35.529,0:01:36.318
Nobody likes you

0:01:36.318,0:01:37.860
Not your brother, not you partner

0:01:37.954,0:01:38.959
Nor Scotland Yard

0:01:39.036,0:01:40.219
You'll die alone with no friends

0:01:40.219,0:01:42.123
Except that needle in your arm

0:01:43.447,0:01:45.072
This mustn't register on an emotional level

0:01:46.287,0:01:47.812
First: exploit childhood tragedy

0:01:49.365,0:01:50.877
Then, gesture with pipe

0:01:50.877,0:01:52.874
Watson finishes punchline

0:01:52.874,0:01:54.267
Next, acknowledge compliment

0:01:54.267,0:01:56.496
Conclude with killer catchphrase

0:01:56.496,0:01:58.122
I believe your parents' homicide

0:01:58.122,0:01:59.608
Is why you mask your face

0:01:59.608,0:02:00.815
You're shamed and traumatized

0:02:00.815,0:02:02.487
And haunted by the vast disgrace

0:02:02.487,0:02:03.602
of watching like a passive waste

0:02:03.602,0:02:04.948
As momma died

0:02:04.948,0:02:06.574
and daddy was dispatched with haste

0:02:06.574,0:02:08.106
Holmes you've cracked the case!

0:02:08.106,0:02:10.010
you're a batshit crazy basketcase

0:02:10.010,0:02:11.775
Bloody good rhymes!

0:02:11.775,0:02:12.611
I've got tonnes

0:02:12.611,0:02:14.190
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was

0:02:14.190,0:02:16.781
Elementary my dear Watson!

0:02:16.920,0:02:17.975
Hoooooo!

0:02:17.975,0:02:18.950
Who won?

0:02:18.950,0:02:20.436
Who's next?

0:02:20.436,0:02:24.430
You decide!