[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.49,0:00:21.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am a person in long-term recovery\Nfrom a substance-use disorder.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.43,0:00:24.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.92,0:00:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what that means\Nis I haven't smoked crack,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.22,0:00:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,snorted a line of cocaine, or touched\Na sip of alcohol in over 19 years.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.57,0:00:37.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.20,0:00:41.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had my first beer at 11.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.74,0:00:43.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of my cousins gave it to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.40,0:00:47.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had my first line of coke at 15.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.76,0:00:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had just gotten out of a psych ward
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.98,0:00:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for being suicidal.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.88,0:00:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From 15 to 24, I drank\Nand used my way through life,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.97,0:00:59.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and eventually ended up in Boston.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.66,0:01:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that point, my addiction\Nhad gotten so bad
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.32,0:01:07.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was paranoid,\Nand afraid of everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.39,0:01:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found myself locked in my apartment,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.80,0:01:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and there in the dark,\Nhuddled on the bathroom floor,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.81,0:01:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had been using cocaine\Nfor almost 24 hours straight.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.04,0:01:19.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My heart was pounding,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.92,0:01:22.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it felt like it was going\Nto explode in my chest.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.66,0:01:26.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew that's how I was going to die.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.90,0:01:30.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when the sun rose\Non Boston that morning,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.95,0:01:32.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do you know what I thought of?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.63,0:01:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought of my mom.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.13,0:01:38.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought, "Somebody\Nis going to have to tell her
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.46,0:01:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that her son died on a bathroom floor\Nfrom a cocaine overdose."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.01,0:01:43.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's the last night I used.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.78,0:01:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one ever dreams they're going\Nto grow up to be an addict.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.73,0:01:54.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found my way into a boxing gym,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.26,0:01:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and something about\Ngetting in the ring for the first time
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.04,0:01:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,helped chip away at my addiction.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.47,0:02:03.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eventually, I saw a brochure\Nfor ice climbing.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.17,0:02:07.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And on the cover was this guy\Non a steep ice climb,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.80,0:02:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I thought, "I want to try that."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.39,0:02:16.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I signed up for a class,\Nand I didn't know it at the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.10,0:02:18.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I had begun my path of recovery.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.44,0:02:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, there's something\Nspecial that happens
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.57,0:02:25.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you tie into a climbing rope\Nfor the first time in the winter.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.83,0:02:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You look up at the glacier\Nor the climb ahead of you,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.99,0:02:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everything else seems to melt away.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.53,0:02:35.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the problems, all your worries,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.10,0:02:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all the shame and self-loathing\Nfrom your addiction
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.13,0:02:39.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that so many addicts feel -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.47,0:02:43.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it all drifts away and you're left\Njust in that moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.18,0:02:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All you hear is the crunch of the snow\Nunder your crampons;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.24,0:02:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sound your ice ax makes\Nwhen it cracks into the deep blue ice;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.58,0:02:55.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the sound of your breathing\Nas it drifts away
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.60,0:02:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is muted by the soft falling snow.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.88,0:03:03.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In that moment, in that place,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.12,0:03:05.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I caught a glimpse of the possibility
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.19,0:03:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of who I could be:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.96,0:03:08.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,courageous and confident.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.74,0:03:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Climbing would evolve into racing\Nmountain bikes, doing triathlons,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.24,0:03:17.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eventually racing Ironman.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.35,0:03:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And every time I stood\Non top of a mountain
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.96,0:03:21.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or crossed a finish line,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.75,0:03:26.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a little bit more a climber\Nand a little bit less an addict.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.58,0:03:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was fortunate; I found hope\Non a mountaintop.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.13,0:03:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And from that hope,\NI began to heal from my addiction.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.21,0:03:39.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for so many people\Nthat are still in their addiction,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.94,0:03:41.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it can feel pretty hopeless.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.64,0:03:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An estimated 23 million Americans\Nstruggle with a substance-use disorder,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.59,0:03:51.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the average American\Nis more likely to die from an overdose
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.62,0:03:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than a motor vehicle accident,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.77,0:03:55.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a mass shooting,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.14,0:03:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a terrorist attack,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.45,0:03:57.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,combined.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.07,0:04:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So many of us get a loved one\Nplugged into formal treatment
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.42,0:04:05.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we think, "Now\Nthey're going to be fixed,"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.76,0:04:08.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,only to find out that 40 to 60 percent
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.23,0:04:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of people coming out of formal treatment
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.23,0:04:12.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will relapse within the first year.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.22,0:04:14.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why is that?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.88,0:04:18.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think we can't talk about\Nhealing from addiction
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.00,0:04:21.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,unless we also talk about\Nhealing from trauma.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.95,0:04:25.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not just talking about\Nthe big traumas -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.42,0:04:29.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,growing up in a war-torn country,\Nphysical and sexual abuse.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.98,0:04:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I'm talking about\Nthose little traumas -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.54,0:04:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it felt like\Nwhen your parents got divorced;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.15,0:04:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it felt like\Nwhen you were bullied in school;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.61,0:04:43.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what it felt like when you\Nwere abandoned by that loved one.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.04,0:04:48.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even though these traumas\Ndon't leave a wound that we can see,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.56,0:04:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they affect how we see the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.56,0:04:56.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I believe that trauma is the number one\Npublic health crisis in our country.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.96,0:05:03.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.54,0:05:07.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why was I compelled\Nto drink at 11 years old?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.10,0:05:11.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why was I using cocaine at 15,\Nand also suicidal?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.64,0:05:15.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think in part, it comes\Nfrom generational trauma
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.04,0:05:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was passed from my father.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.38,0:05:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See, his father left him\Nwhen he was young,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.62,0:05:22.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he carried a pain that he passed to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.43,0:05:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My dad also struggled with mental illness,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.36,0:05:29.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he would yell at my siblings\Nand I if we lost,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.89,0:05:32.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he'd also yell at us\Nif we won the soccer game.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.29,0:05:37.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He would publicly shame us,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.46,0:05:40.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I remember that always\Nmade me feel so...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.51,0:05:42.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...small.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.44,0:05:48.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's also a unique kind\Nof inadequacy that you feel
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.05,0:05:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you see a sibling that you love
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.82,0:05:50.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being abused,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.01,0:05:52.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can do nothing to stop it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.72,0:05:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think about how that must have\Nimprinted on me when I was little.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.40,0:06:01.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, I was once little.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.20,0:06:02.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.50,0:06:05.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when we're little,\Nwe're emotional sponges.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.63,0:06:08.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We absorb the energy around us\Nfrom our caregivers,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.37,0:06:11.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if that energy\Nis negative or traumatic,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.63,0:06:14.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we often internalize it\Nas we did something wrong;
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.37,0:06:16.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we were failures.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.39,0:06:23.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of those little traumas\Nare tiny emotional cuts,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.87,0:06:27.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with enough of these cuts\Nit can add up to a big wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.45,0:06:31.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know what you're thinking: some\Nof those things happened to you,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.63,0:06:32.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're not an addict.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.02,0:06:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, there's other ways\Nwe cope with this.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.53,0:06:39.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many of us seek our emotional well-being\Nfrom something external.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.97,0:06:43.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe it's what we look like,\Nmaybe it's how much money we make,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.90,0:06:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe it's whether or not\Nour sports team won the Superbowl.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.17,0:06:50.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go Broncos!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.44,0:06:51.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.52,0:06:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.57,0:06:54.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have love addiction,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.24,0:06:55.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have love avoidance,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.83,0:06:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have workaholism,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.88,0:07:00.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eating disorders,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.07,0:07:01.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the list goes on and on.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.01,0:07:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So how do we heal from this?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.52,0:07:09.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know standing on top of a mountain\Ncan be part of it;
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.53,0:07:12.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that goes directly\Nto the self-esteem piece.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.06,0:07:15.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what about the opposite of trauma?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.58,0:07:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to learn how to build\Nnurturing communities
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.25,0:07:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for our children to grow up in.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.18,0:07:23.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to think\Nabout that for a moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.52,0:07:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What kind of environment would you want\Nyour children to grow up in?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.33,0:07:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to make a list.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.69,0:07:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's mine:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.30,0:07:36.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,encouraging, full of joy,\Naccepting, loving,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.34,0:07:39.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a place where we are physically\Nand emotionally safe.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.23,0:07:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With the understanding\Nof these two things coming together -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.13,0:07:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the power of standing\Non top of a mountain,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.57,0:07:48.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the power of a nurturing community -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.74,0:07:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought, "How do we give this\Nto others that are struggling?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.43,0:07:56.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought, "How do we take\Nthousands of recovering addicts
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.33,0:07:59.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up a mountain in a nurturing environment?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.16,0:08:02.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It seems impossible. But it's not.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.35,0:08:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's exactly what we did.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.29,0:08:08.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With a core group of people,\NI started a nonprofit,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.73,0:08:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we created a sober, active community.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.04,0:08:15.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We've since served\N18,000 people in 10 years,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.56,0:08:17.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in five cities, in three states.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.45,0:08:19.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.41,0:08:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:26.10,0:08:30.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All of those programs are free\Nto anyone who's 48 hours clean and sober.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.60,0:08:33.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They come to yoga,\Nhiking, biking and climbing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.61,0:08:36.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They find a positive coping mechanism,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.03,0:08:39.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they find a peer group\Nthat supports them in their recovery.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.51,0:08:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there's a code of conduct\Nthat frames the community.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.31,0:08:47.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It says that anything\Nthat isn't nurturing isn't welcome,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.99,0:08:50.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with those simple boundaries in place,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.42,0:08:53.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's had a profound effect\Non people's lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.73,0:08:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seventy-three percent of people\Nhad improved self-esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.91,0:09:01.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eighty-two percent felt emotionally safe.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.07,0:09:04.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think the other 18\Nwere probably on that wall.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.96,0:09:06.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.94,0:09:13.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sixty-five percent had improved\Nattitudes towards sobriety.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.01,0:09:18.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And three-quarters of the people\Nthat attend stayed sober.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.24,0:09:25.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.60,0:09:30.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I want you to imagine for a moment
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.20,0:09:33.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm someone\Nwho's 48 hours clean and sober,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.29,0:09:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I show up at this gym.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.01,0:09:38.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walk up to the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.45,0:09:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I grab the door handle.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.45,0:09:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels so heavy.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.49,0:09:46.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels so heavy because\Nthis is my first time as an adult
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.96,0:09:50.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking into a roomful of people\Nwithout a drink or a drug in my system.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.67,0:09:55.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On top of that, I'm about to do\Nmy first CrossFit workout.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.35,0:09:57.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.24,0:10:00.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, am I even going to make it\Nthrough the warm-up?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.02,0:10:02.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.21,0:10:04.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe I'll just go get a drink.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.82,0:10:08.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy at the front desk gives me\Nthe waiver and the code of conduct,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.18,0:10:09.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm filling it out, thinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.79,0:10:11.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm just going to hand it\Nback to this guy,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.89,0:10:15.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm going back to that old apartment\Nwhere my friends are still using."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.77,0:10:19.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, that kind of apartment\Nwhere addicts go to die.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.70,0:10:24.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or, "I'll just grab a handle\Nof vodka, and I'll numb out.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.17,0:10:27.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll make the pain\Nand the anxiety go away."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.79,0:10:32.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy at the front desk, though,\Nhe can tell I'm a little anxious,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.14,0:10:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he starts to share his own story.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.41,0:10:38.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy was a heroin addict?\NHow's that even possible?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.04,0:10:39.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's so fit.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.74,0:10:42.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, he walks with me into the gym,\Nand in that moment,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.79,0:10:44.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel accepted here.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.16,0:10:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy and this other girl\Ncome over to me
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.51,0:10:49.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they help me set up my weights.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.33,0:10:54.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They give me a white PVC pipe\Nand they start to warm me up.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.10,0:10:56.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're teaching me the clean and jerk.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.03,0:10:59.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned this lift when I was in prison,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.06,0:11:00.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but never with technique or form.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.90,0:11:06.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Strong back," they say, "stand it up,\Ntriple extension, high pull."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.12,0:11:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we go back over to the weights.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.57,0:11:11.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The room is full of people.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.68,0:11:13.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We line up at our barbells,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.30,0:11:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the clock starts to count down\Nto start the workout.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.97,0:11:20.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Five, four, three, two...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.31,0:11:22.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I look around the gym.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.36,0:11:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone in here is in recovery.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.33,0:11:28.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can feel that they believe in me -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.20,0:11:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,me: a junky, a drunk.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.89,0:11:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a matter of fact,\Nthey believe in me so much
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.16,0:11:37.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that in that moment,\NI start to believe in myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.99,0:11:40.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The clock clicks over\Nto start the workout.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.74,0:11:42.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I reach down to grab my barbell,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.94,0:11:45.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a seemingly unmovable weight.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.62,0:11:47.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I grab it, and I pull,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.34,0:11:50.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I pull with all the technique,\Nstrength, and courage
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.10,0:11:52.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I draw from the people around me.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.51,0:11:55.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And for a moment, it becomes weightless
Dialogue: 0,0:11:55.81,0:11:57.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it lands on my shoulders.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.03,0:12:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The bar oscillates from the weight
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.96,0:12:02.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I jerk it overheard,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.93,0:12:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stand it up proudly,\Nand let it crash to the floor.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.89,0:12:10.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get an acknowledging smile\Nfrom my new friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.40,0:12:13.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a fist bump\Nfrom my new workout partner.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.62,0:12:18.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in that moment,\NI find supportive community.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.04,0:12:20.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And in that community,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.89,0:12:22.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I find hope.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.15,0:12:24.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.51,0:12:27.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.25,0:12:28.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:28.44,0:12:30.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.59,0:12:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)