WEBVTT 00:00:00.611 --> 00:00:02.984 For me they normally happen, these career crises, 00:00:03.008 --> 00:00:05.555 often, actually, on a Sunday evening, 00:00:05.579 --> 00:00:07.452 just as the sun is starting to set, 00:00:07.476 --> 00:00:12.134 and the gap between my hopes for myself and the reality of my life 00:00:12.158 --> 00:00:13.976 starts to diverge so painfully 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:16.976 that I normally end up weeping into a pillow. 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:18.505 I'm mentioning all this -- 00:00:18.529 --> 00:00:22.212 I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem; 00:00:22.236 --> 00:00:23.772 you may think I'm wrong in this, 00:00:23.796 --> 00:00:27.379 but I think we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated 00:00:27.403 --> 00:00:30.545 by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew -- 00:00:30.569 --> 00:00:32.379 about our lives, about our careers -- 00:00:32.403 --> 00:00:35.832 comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:35.856 --> 00:00:39.609 It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living. 00:00:39.633 --> 00:00:41.976 It's perhaps harder than ever before 00:00:42.000 --> 00:00:44.976 to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety. 00:00:45.000 --> 00:00:48.389 I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons 00:00:48.413 --> 00:00:51.976 why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers. 00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:54.239 Why we might be victims of these career crises, 00:00:54.263 --> 00:00:58.209 as we're weeping softly into our pillows. 00:00:58.233 --> 00:01:00.976 One of the reasons why we might be suffering 00:01:01.000 --> 00:01:03.558 is that we are surrounded by snobs. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:03.582 --> 00:01:05.976 In a way, I've got some bad news, 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:08.762 particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad. 00:01:08.786 --> 00:01:10.564 There's a real problem with snobbery, 00:01:10.588 --> 00:01:12.754 because sometimes people from outside the U.K. 00:01:12.778 --> 00:01:15.485 imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon, 00:01:15.509 --> 00:01:17.976 fixated on country houses and titles. 00:01:18.000 --> 00:01:19.664 The bad news is that's not true. 00:01:19.688 --> 00:01:22.664 Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization, 00:01:22.688 --> 00:01:24.045 this is a global phenomenon. 00:01:24.069 --> 00:01:25.704 What is a snob? 00:01:25.728 --> 00:01:29.037 A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you, 00:01:29.061 --> 00:01:32.426 and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. 00:01:32.450 --> 00:01:33.976 That is snobbery. NOTE Paragraph 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:38.325 The dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery. 00:01:38.349 --> 00:01:41.596 You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked 00:01:41.620 --> 00:01:44.787 that famous iconic question of the early 21st century, 00:01:44.811 --> 00:01:45.984 "What do you do?" 00:01:46.008 --> 00:01:48.009 According to how you answer that question, 00:01:48.033 --> 00:01:50.367 people are either incredibly delighted to see you, 00:01:50.391 --> 00:01:52.573 or look at their watch and make their excuses. 00:01:52.597 --> 00:01:53.613 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:53.637 --> 00:01:55.976 Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother. 00:01:56.000 --> 00:01:57.976 (Laughter) 00:01:58.000 --> 00:02:00.977 Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine, 00:02:01.001 --> 00:02:02.636 but, as it were, the ideal mother, 00:02:02.660 --> 00:02:05.008 somebody who doesn't care about your achievements. 00:02:05.032 --> 00:02:07.230 Unfortunately, most people are not our mothers. 00:02:07.254 --> 00:02:10.072 Most people make a strict correlation between how much time, 00:02:10.096 --> 00:02:11.489 and if you like, love -- 00:02:11.513 --> 00:02:13.976 not romantic love, though that may be something -- 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:17.295 but love in general, respect -- they are willing to accord us, 00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:20.976 that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:24.239 And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers 00:02:24.263 --> 00:02:27.976 and indeed start caring so much about material goods. 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:31.239 You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times, 00:02:31.263 --> 00:02:32.976 that we're all greedy people. 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:35.286 I don't think we are particularly materialistic. 00:02:35.310 --> 00:02:39.738 I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards 00:02:39.762 --> 00:02:41.974 to the acquisition of material goods. 00:02:41.998 --> 00:02:44.928 It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want. 00:02:44.952 --> 00:02:46.960 It's a new way of looking at luxury goods. 00:02:46.984 --> 00:02:49.945 The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think, 00:02:49.969 --> 00:02:51.793 "This is somebody who's greedy." 00:02:51.817 --> 00:02:55.535 Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love." 00:02:55.559 --> 00:02:58.976 (Laughter) 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:01.403 Feel sympathy, rather than contempt. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:01.427 --> 00:03:02.935 There are other reasons -- 00:03:02.959 --> 00:03:03.976 (Laughter) 00:03:04.000 --> 00:03:07.922 There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before. 00:03:07.946 --> 00:03:09.622 One of these, and it's paradoxical, 00:03:09.646 --> 00:03:12.156 because it's linked to something that's rather nice, 00:03:12.180 --> 00:03:14.226 is the hope we all have for our careers. 00:03:14.250 --> 00:03:16.348 Never before have expectations been so high 00:03:16.372 --> 00:03:19.095 about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan. 00:03:19.119 --> 00:03:22.148 We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything. 00:03:22.172 --> 00:03:24.055 We've done away with the caste system, 00:03:24.079 --> 00:03:27.770 we are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please. 00:03:27.794 --> 00:03:29.976 And it's a beautiful idea. 00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:32.453 Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality; 00:03:32.477 --> 00:03:33.834 we're all basically equal. 00:03:33.858 --> 00:03:37.976 There are no strictly-defined hierarchies. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:38.000 --> 00:03:40.462 There is one really big problem with this, 00:03:40.486 --> 00:03:41.994 and that problem is envy. 00:03:42.519 --> 00:03:44.782 Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy, 00:03:44.806 --> 00:03:48.286 but if there's one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy. 00:03:48.310 --> 00:03:50.977 And it's linked to the spirit of equality. 00:03:51.001 --> 00:03:52.152 Let me explain. 00:03:52.176 --> 00:03:55.437 I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, 00:03:55.461 --> 00:03:57.333 to be envious of the Queen of England. 00:03:57.357 --> 00:04:00.594 Even though she is much richer than any of you are, 00:04:00.618 --> 00:04:02.880 and she's got a very large house, 00:04:02.904 --> 00:04:06.562 the reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird. 00:04:06.586 --> 00:04:07.594 (Laughter) 00:04:07.618 --> 00:04:08.975 She's simply too strange. 00:04:08.999 --> 00:04:11.380 We can't relate to her, she speaks in a funny way, 00:04:11.404 --> 00:04:12.777 she comes from an odd place. 00:04:12.801 --> 00:04:14.174 So we can't relate to her, 00:04:14.198 --> 00:04:17.096 and when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:19.976 The closer two people are -- in age, in background, 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.318 in the process of identification -- the more there's a danger of envy, 00:04:23.342 --> 00:04:26.817 which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion, 00:04:26.841 --> 00:04:30.940 because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with. 00:04:30.964 --> 00:04:34.502 The problem of modern society is it turns the whole world into a school. 00:04:34.526 --> 00:04:36.796 Everybody's wearing jeans, everybody's the same. 00:04:36.820 --> 00:04:37.975 And yet, they're not. 00:04:37.999 --> 00:04:40.976 So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality, 00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:43.691 which can make for a very stressful situation. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:43.715 --> 00:04:46.040 It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays 00:04:46.064 --> 00:04:47.976 become as rich and famous as Bill Gates, 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:49.976 as it was unlikely in the 17th century 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.242 that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy. 00:04:53.266 --> 00:04:55.314 But the point is, it doesn't feel that way. 00:04:55.338 --> 00:04:58.404 It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets, 00:04:58.428 --> 00:05:02.284 that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage -- 00:05:02.308 --> 00:05:04.739 you, too, could start a major thing. 00:05:04.763 --> 00:05:06.118 (Laughter) 00:05:06.142 --> 00:05:09.381 The consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops. 00:05:09.405 --> 00:05:12.596 When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections, 00:05:12.620 --> 00:05:13.800 as I sometimes do -- 00:05:13.824 --> 00:05:16.910 if you analyze self-help books produced in the world today, 00:05:16.934 --> 00:05:18.381 there are basically two kinds. 00:05:18.405 --> 00:05:22.191 The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything's possible!" 00:05:22.215 --> 00:05:26.811 The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem," 00:05:26.835 --> 00:05:29.462 or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself." NOTE Paragraph 00:05:29.486 --> 00:05:30.976 There's a real correlation 00:05:31.000 --> 00:05:34.976 between a society that tells people that they can do anything, 00:05:35.000 --> 00:05:36.976 and the existence of low self-esteem. 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:40.976 So that's another way in which something quite positive can have a nasty kickback. 00:05:41.000 --> 00:05:44.325 There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious -- 00:05:44.349 --> 00:05:47.976 about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before. 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:50.048 And it's, again, linked to something nice. 00:05:50.072 --> 00:05:52.770 And that nice thing is called meritocracy. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:52.794 --> 00:05:55.096 Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right, 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.337 agree that meritocracy is a great thing, 00:05:57.361 --> 00:06:01.507 and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic. 00:06:01.531 --> 00:06:04.850 In other words -- what is a meritocratic society? 00:06:04.874 --> 00:06:09.000 A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill, 00:06:09.024 --> 00:06:11.596 you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back. 00:06:11.620 --> 00:06:12.782 It's a beautiful idea. 00:06:12.806 --> 00:06:16.130 The problem is, if you really believe in a society 00:06:16.154 --> 00:06:18.822 where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, 00:06:18.846 --> 00:06:21.851 you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way, 00:06:21.875 --> 00:06:25.572 believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom 00:06:25.596 --> 00:06:27.819 also get to the bottom and stay there. 00:06:27.843 --> 00:06:31.191 In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental, 00:06:31.215 --> 00:06:32.976 but merited and deserved. 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:35.976 And that makes failure seem much more crushing. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:36.000 --> 00:06:38.378 You know, in the Middle Ages, in England, 00:06:38.402 --> 00:06:40.274 when you met a very poor person, 00:06:40.298 --> 00:06:43.162 that person would be described as an "unfortunate" -- 00:06:43.186 --> 00:06:46.976 literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate. 00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:49.096 Nowadays, particularly in the United States, 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:51.263 if you meet someone at the bottom of society, 00:06:51.287 --> 00:06:53.976 they may unkindly be described as a "loser." 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:56.976 There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser, 00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:59.976 and that shows 400 years of evolution in society 00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:03.097 and our belief in who is responsible for our lives. 00:07:03.121 --> 00:07:05.976 It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:07.976 That's exhilarating if you're doing well, 00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:09.852 and very crushing if you're not. 00:07:09.876 --> 00:07:11.418 It leads, in the worst cases -- 00:07:11.442 --> 00:07:14.409 in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim -- 00:07:14.433 --> 00:07:16.740 it leads to increased rates of suicide. 00:07:16.764 --> 00:07:19.976 There are more suicides in developed, individualistic countries 00:07:20.000 --> 00:07:21.741 than in any other part of the world. 00:07:21.765 --> 00:07:23.339 And some of the reason for that 00:07:23.363 --> 00:07:26.432 is that people take what happens to them extremely personally -- 00:07:26.456 --> 00:07:29.975 they own their success, but they also own their failure. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:29.999 --> 00:07:32.286 Is there any relief from some of these pressures 00:07:32.310 --> 00:07:33.647 that I've been outlining? 00:07:33.671 --> 00:07:34.830 I think there is. 00:07:34.854 --> 00:07:36.620 I just want to turn to a few of them. 00:07:36.644 --> 00:07:37.976 Let's take meritocracy. 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.976 This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to, 00:07:41.000 --> 00:07:43.808 I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy. 00:07:43.832 --> 00:07:46.084 I will support any politician of Left and Right, 00:07:46.108 --> 00:07:48.402 with any halfway-decent meritocratic idea; 00:07:48.426 --> 00:07:49.976 I am a meritocrat in that sense. 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:51.672 But I think it's insane to believe 00:07:51.696 --> 00:07:55.153 that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic; 00:07:55.177 --> 00:07:56.411 it's an impossible dream. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:56.435 --> 00:07:59.896 The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded, 00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:01.816 the good at the top, bad at the bottom, 00:08:01.840 --> 00:08:03.976 exactly done as it should be, is impossible. 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:05.976 There are simply too many random factors: 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:07.976 accidents, accidents of birth, 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:11.000 accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc. 00:08:11.024 --> 00:08:12.976 We will never get to grade them, 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.976 never get to grade people as they should. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:18.143 I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God," 00:08:18.167 --> 00:08:22.580 where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post." 00:08:22.604 --> 00:08:24.246 In modern English that would mean 00:08:24.270 --> 00:08:26.994 it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to, 00:08:27.018 --> 00:08:28.601 dependent on their business card. 00:08:28.625 --> 00:08:30.376 It's not the post that should count. 00:08:30.400 --> 00:08:34.180 According to St. Augustine, only God can really put everybody in their place; 00:08:34.204 --> 00:08:36.339 he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment, 00:08:36.363 --> 00:08:38.745 with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open. 00:08:38.769 --> 00:08:41.276 Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me. 00:08:41.300 --> 00:08:43.920 But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:43.944 --> 00:08:47.276 In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people. 00:08:47.300 --> 00:08:49.976 You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is. 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:51.976 That is an unknown part of them, 00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:55.195 and we shouldn't behave as though it is known. 00:08:55.219 --> 00:08:58.020 There is another source of solace and comfort for all this. 00:08:58.044 --> 00:09:01.169 When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure, 00:09:01.193 --> 00:09:03.035 one of the reasons why we fear failing 00:09:03.059 --> 00:09:05.334 is not just a loss of income, a loss of status. 00:09:05.358 --> 00:09:08.101 What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others. 00:09:08.125 --> 00:09:09.278 And it exists. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:09.302 --> 00:09:12.858 The number one organ of ridicule, nowadays, is the newspaper. 00:09:12.882 --> 00:09:15.071 If you open the newspaper any day of the week, 00:09:15.095 --> 00:09:17.411 it's full of people who've messed up their lives. 00:09:17.435 --> 00:09:20.428 They've slept with the wrong person, taken the wrong substance, 00:09:20.452 --> 00:09:22.474 passed the wrong piece of legislation -- 00:09:22.498 --> 00:09:24.666 whatever it is, and then are fit for ridicule. 00:09:24.690 --> 00:09:27.975 In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers." 00:09:27.999 --> 00:09:29.827 Now, is there any alternative to this? 00:09:29.851 --> 00:09:34.447 I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative, which is tragedy. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:34.471 --> 00:09:37.693 Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece, 00:09:37.717 --> 00:09:40.487 in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form 00:09:40.511 --> 00:09:42.976 devoted to tracing how people fail, 00:09:43.000 --> 00:09:47.383 and also according them a level of sympathy, 00:09:47.407 --> 00:09:50.683 which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them. 00:09:50.707 --> 00:09:52.747 A few years ago, I was thinking about this, 00:09:52.771 --> 00:09:54.366 and I went to "The Sunday Sport," 00:09:54.390 --> 00:09:57.000 a tabloid newspaper I don't recommend you start reading 00:09:57.024 --> 00:09:58.921 if you're not familiar with it already. 00:09:58.945 --> 00:09:59.953 (Laughter) 00:09:59.977 --> 00:10:01.219 And I went to talk to them 00:10:01.243 --> 00:10:03.984 about certain of the great tragedies of Western art. 00:10:04.008 --> 00:10:07.593 I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories, 00:10:07.617 --> 00:10:11.577 if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:11.601 --> 00:10:14.725 I mentioned Othello; they'd not heard of it but were fascinated. 00:10:14.749 --> 00:10:15.757 (Laughter) 00:10:15.781 --> 00:10:18.083 I asked them to write a headline for the story. 00:10:18.107 --> 00:10:21.546 They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter." 00:10:21.570 --> 00:10:22.976 Splashed across the headline. 00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:25.000 I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary. 00:10:25.024 --> 00:10:27.215 Again, a book they were enchanted to discover. 00:10:27.239 --> 00:10:31.976 And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud." 00:10:32.000 --> 00:10:33.016 (Laughter) 00:10:33.040 --> 00:10:34.223 And then my favorite -- 00:10:34.247 --> 00:10:37.326 they really do have a kind of genius of their own, these guys -- 00:10:37.350 --> 00:10:39.444 my favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King: 00:10:39.468 --> 00:10:41.976 "Sex With Mum Was Blinding." 00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.976 (Laughter) 00:10:45.000 --> 00:10:46.976 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:10:47.000 --> 00:10:49.976 In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy, 00:10:50.000 --> 00:10:51.793 you've got the tabloid newspaper. 00:10:51.817 --> 00:10:55.008 At the other end of the spectrum, you've got tragedy and tragic art. 00:10:55.032 --> 00:10:57.806 And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit 00:10:57.830 --> 00:10:59.616 about what's happening in tragic art. 00:10:59.640 --> 00:11:02.338 It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser. 00:11:02.362 --> 00:11:04.673 He is not a loser, though he has lost. 00:11:04.697 --> 00:11:07.334 And I think that is the message of tragedy to us, 00:11:07.358 --> 00:11:09.976 and why it's so very, very important, I think. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:10.000 --> 00:11:13.976 The other thing about modern society and why it causes this anxiety, 00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:16.976 is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human. 00:11:17.000 --> 00:11:19.588 We are the first society to be living in a world 00:11:19.612 --> 00:11:22.104 where we don't worship anything other than ourselves. 00:11:22.128 --> 00:11:24.573 We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should; 00:11:24.597 --> 00:11:27.890 we've put people on the Moon, done all sorts of extraordinary things. 00:11:27.914 --> 00:11:31.207 And so we tend to worship ourselves. Our heroes are human heroes. 00:11:31.231 --> 00:11:32.794 That's a very new situation. 00:11:32.818 --> 00:11:35.325 Most other societies have had, right at their center, 00:11:35.349 --> 00:11:38.770 the worship of something transcendent: a god, a spirit, a natural force, 00:11:38.794 --> 00:11:42.144 the universe, whatever it is -- something else that is being worshiped. 00:11:42.168 --> 00:11:44.240 We've slightly lost the habit of doing that, 00:11:44.264 --> 00:11:47.032 which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature. 00:11:47.056 --> 00:11:50.312 Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way, 00:11:50.336 --> 00:11:52.976 but because it's an escape from the human anthill. 00:11:53.000 --> 00:11:54.976 It's an escape from our own competition, 00:11:55.000 --> 00:11:56.976 and our own dramas. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:11:59.620 And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans, 00:11:59.644 --> 00:12:03.595 and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc. 00:12:03.619 --> 00:12:07.198 We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human, 00:12:07.222 --> 00:12:10.976 and that is so deeply important to us. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.191 What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure. 00:12:14.215 --> 00:12:16.644 And one of the interesting things about success 00:12:16.668 --> 00:12:18.652 is that we think we know what it means. 00:12:18.676 --> 00:12:22.073 If I said that there's somebody behind the screen who's very successful, 00:12:22.097 --> 00:12:24.474 certain ideas would immediately come to mind. 00:12:24.498 --> 00:12:27.148 You'd think that person might have made a lot of money, 00:12:27.172 --> 00:12:29.080 achieved renown in some field. 00:12:29.104 --> 00:12:30.433 My own theory of success -- 00:12:30.457 --> 00:12:32.616 I'm somebody who's very interested in success, 00:12:32.640 --> 00:12:34.121 I really want to be successful, 00:12:34.145 --> 00:12:36.327 always thinking, how can I be more successful? 00:12:36.351 --> 00:12:40.332 But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:40.705 --> 00:12:42.919 Here's an insight that I've had about success: 00:12:42.943 --> 00:12:44.824 You can't be successful at everything. 00:12:44.848 --> 00:12:47.111 We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance. 00:12:47.135 --> 00:12:48.286 Nonsense. 00:12:48.310 --> 00:12:49.976 You can't have it all. You can't. 00:12:50.000 --> 00:12:54.475 So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on, 00:12:54.499 --> 00:12:56.176 where the element of loss is. 00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:58.724 And I think any wise life will accept, 00:12:58.748 --> 00:13:02.524 as I say, that there is going to be an element where we're not succeeding. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:02.548 --> 00:13:05.556 And the thing about a successful life is that a lot of the time, 00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:09.470 our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. 00:13:09.494 --> 00:13:11.209 They're sucked in from other people; 00:13:11.233 --> 00:13:14.837 chiefly, if you're a man, your father, and if you're a woman, your mother. 00:13:14.861 --> 00:13:18.226 Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years. 00:13:18.250 --> 00:13:21.757 No one's quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe it's true. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:21.781 --> 00:13:24.899 And we also suck in messages from everything from the television, 00:13:24.923 --> 00:13:26.709 to advertising, to marketing, etc. 00:13:26.733 --> 00:13:28.976 These are hugely powerful forces 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:32.976 that define what we want and how we view ourselves. 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.976 When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession, 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:37.976 a lot of us want to go into banking. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:41.334 When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking. 00:13:41.358 --> 00:13:44.416 We are highly open to suggestion. NOTE Paragraph 00:13:44.440 --> 00:13:47.337 So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up 00:13:47.361 --> 00:13:48.976 on our ideas of success, 00:13:49.000 --> 00:13:51.191 but we should make sure that they are our own. 00:13:51.215 --> 00:13:52.976 We should focus in on our ideas, 00:13:53.000 --> 00:13:55.731 and make sure that we own them; 00:13:55.755 --> 00:13:58.176 that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. 00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:01.001 Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, 00:14:01.025 --> 00:14:04.112 but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want, 00:14:04.136 --> 00:14:06.176 and find out, at the end of the journey, 00:14:06.200 --> 00:14:09.364 that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:09.388 --> 00:14:10.976 So, I'm going to end it there. 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:15.976 But what I really want to stress is: by all means, success, yes. 00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:18.572 But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas. 00:14:18.596 --> 00:14:21.341 Let's probe away at our notions of success. 00:14:21.365 --> 00:14:24.976 Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own. 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:26.976 Thank you very much. 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:33.284 (Applause) NOTE Paragraph 00:14:42.698 --> 00:14:44.515 Chris Anderson: That was fascinating. NOTE Paragraph 00:14:44.539 --> 00:14:49.976 But how do you reconcile this idea 00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:52.770 of it being bad to think of someone as a "loser," 00:14:52.794 --> 00:14:57.632 with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life, 00:14:57.656 --> 00:15:00.561 and that a society that encourages that, 00:15:00.585 --> 00:15:02.976 perhaps has to have some winners and losers? NOTE Paragraph 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:05.651 Alain De Botton: Yes, I think it's merely the randomness 00:15:05.675 --> 00:15:08.341 of the winning and losing process that I want to stress, 00:15:08.365 --> 00:15:11.976 because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything, 00:15:12.000 --> 00:15:14.001 and politicians always talk about justice. 00:15:14.025 --> 00:15:17.433 Now I'm a firm believer in justice, I just think that it's impossible. 00:15:17.457 --> 00:15:21.060 So we should do everything we can to pursue it, 00:15:21.084 --> 00:15:24.520 but we should always remember that whoever is facing us, 00:15:24.544 --> 00:15:26.687 whatever has happened in their lives, 00:15:26.711 --> 00:15:28.976 there will be a strong element of the haphazard. 00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:31.216 That's what I'm trying to leave room for; 00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:33.306 otherwise, it can get quite claustrophobic. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:33.330 --> 00:15:35.555 CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine 00:15:35.579 --> 00:15:37.864 your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work 00:15:37.888 --> 00:15:40.976 with a successful economy? 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:42.782 Or do you think that you can't, 00:15:42.806 --> 00:15:46.480 but it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that? NOTE Paragraph 00:15:46.504 --> 00:15:47.976 AB: The nightmare thought 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:51.976 is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them, 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:55.412 and that somehow the crueler the environment, 00:15:55.436 --> 00:15:57.801 the more people will rise to the challenge. 00:15:57.825 --> 00:16:00.770 You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad? 00:16:00.794 --> 00:16:03.976 And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle. 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:06.213 And it's a very hard line to make. 00:16:06.237 --> 00:16:09.976 We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society, 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.423 avoiding the two extremes, 00:16:12.447 --> 00:16:15.976 which is the authoritarian disciplinarian on the one hand, 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:20.801 and on the other, the lax, no-rules option. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:20.825 --> 00:16:22.198 CA: Alain De Botton. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:22.222 --> 00:16:23.977 AB: Thank you very much. 00:16:24.001 --> 00:16:29.888 (Applause)