1 00:00:00,611 --> 00:00:02,984 For me they normally happen, these career crises, 2 00:00:03,008 --> 00:00:05,555 often, actually, on a Sunday evening, 3 00:00:05,579 --> 00:00:07,452 just as the sun is starting to set, 4 00:00:07,476 --> 00:00:12,134 and the gap between my hopes for myself and the reality of my life 5 00:00:12,158 --> 00:00:13,976 starts to diverge so painfully 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,976 that I normally end up weeping into a pillow. 7 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,505 I'm mentioning all this -- 8 00:00:18,529 --> 00:00:22,212 I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem; 9 00:00:22,236 --> 00:00:23,772 you may think I'm wrong in this, 10 00:00:23,796 --> 00:00:27,379 but I think we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated 11 00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:30,545 by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew -- 12 00:00:30,569 --> 00:00:32,379 about our lives, about our careers -- 13 00:00:32,403 --> 00:00:35,832 comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality. 14 00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:39,609 It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living. 15 00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:41,976 It's perhaps harder than ever before 16 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,976 to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety. 17 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,389 I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons 18 00:00:48,413 --> 00:00:51,976 why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers. 19 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,239 Why we might be victims of these career crises, 20 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:58,209 as we're weeping softly into our pillows. 21 00:00:58,233 --> 00:01:00,976 One of the reasons why we might be suffering 22 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,558 is that we are surrounded by snobs. 23 00:01:03,582 --> 00:01:05,976 In a way, I've got some bad news, 24 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,762 particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad. 25 00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:10,564 There's a real problem with snobbery, 26 00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:12,754 because sometimes people from outside the U.K. 27 00:01:12,778 --> 00:01:15,485 imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon, 28 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,976 fixated on country houses and titles. 29 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,664 The bad news is that's not true. 30 00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:22,664 Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization, 31 00:01:22,688 --> 00:01:24,045 this is a global phenomenon. 32 00:01:24,069 --> 00:01:25,704 What is a snob? 33 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:29,037 A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you, 34 00:01:29,061 --> 00:01:32,426 and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are. 35 00:01:32,450 --> 00:01:33,976 That is snobbery. 36 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,325 The dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery. 37 00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:41,596 You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked 38 00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:44,787 that famous iconic question of the early 21st century, 39 00:01:44,811 --> 00:01:45,984 "What do you do?" 40 00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:48,009 According to how you answer that question, 41 00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:50,367 people are either incredibly delighted to see you, 42 00:01:50,391 --> 00:01:52,573 or look at their watch and make their excuses. 43 00:01:52,597 --> 00:01:53,613 (Laughter) 44 00:01:53,637 --> 00:01:55,976 Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother. 45 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,976 (Laughter) 46 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,977 Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine, 47 00:02:01,001 --> 00:02:02,636 but, as it were, the ideal mother, 48 00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:05,008 somebody who doesn't care about your achievements. 49 00:02:05,032 --> 00:02:07,230 Unfortunately, most people are not our mothers. 50 00:02:07,254 --> 00:02:10,072 Most people make a strict correlation between how much time, 51 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:11,489 and if you like, love -- 52 00:02:11,513 --> 00:02:13,976 not romantic love, though that may be something -- 53 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,295 but love in general, respect -- they are willing to accord us, 54 00:02:17,319 --> 00:02:20,976 that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy. 55 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:24,239 And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers 56 00:02:24,263 --> 00:02:27,976 and indeed start caring so much about material goods. 57 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,239 You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times, 58 00:02:31,263 --> 00:02:32,976 that we're all greedy people. 59 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,286 I don't think we are particularly materialistic. 60 00:02:35,310 --> 00:02:39,738 I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards 61 00:02:39,762 --> 00:02:41,974 to the acquisition of material goods. 62 00:02:41,998 --> 00:02:44,928 It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want. 63 00:02:44,952 --> 00:02:46,960 It's a new way of looking at luxury goods. 64 00:02:46,984 --> 00:02:49,945 The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think, 65 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,793 "This is somebody who's greedy." 66 00:02:51,817 --> 00:02:55,535 Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love." 67 00:02:55,559 --> 00:02:58,976 (Laughter) 68 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,403 Feel sympathy, rather than contempt. 69 00:03:01,427 --> 00:03:02,935 There are other reasons -- 70 00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:03,976 (Laughter) 71 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,922 There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before. 72 00:03:07,946 --> 00:03:09,622 One of these, and it's paradoxical, 73 00:03:09,646 --> 00:03:12,156 because it's linked to something that's rather nice, 74 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,226 is the hope we all have for our careers. 75 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,348 Never before have expectations been so high 76 00:03:16,372 --> 00:03:19,095 about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan. 77 00:03:19,119 --> 00:03:22,148 We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything. 78 00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,055 We've done away with the caste system, 79 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:27,770 we are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please. 80 00:03:27,794 --> 00:03:29,976 And it's a beautiful idea. 81 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,453 Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality; 82 00:03:32,477 --> 00:03:33,834 we're all basically equal. 83 00:03:33,858 --> 00:03:37,976 There are no strictly-defined hierarchies. 84 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,462 There is one really big problem with this, 85 00:03:40,486 --> 00:03:41,994 and that problem is envy. 86 00:03:42,519 --> 00:03:44,782 Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy, 87 00:03:44,806 --> 00:03:48,286 but if there's one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy. 88 00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:50,977 And it's linked to the spirit of equality. 89 00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:52,152 Let me explain. 90 00:03:52,176 --> 00:03:55,437 I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, 91 00:03:55,461 --> 00:03:57,333 to be envious of the Queen of England. 92 00:03:57,357 --> 00:04:00,594 Even though she is much richer than any of you are, 93 00:04:00,618 --> 00:04:02,880 and she's got a very large house, 94 00:04:02,904 --> 00:04:06,562 the reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird. 95 00:04:06,586 --> 00:04:07,594 (Laughter) 96 00:04:07,618 --> 00:04:08,975 She's simply too strange. 97 00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,380 We can't relate to her, she speaks in a funny way, 98 00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,777 she comes from an odd place. 99 00:04:12,801 --> 00:04:14,174 So we can't relate to her, 100 00:04:14,198 --> 00:04:17,096 and when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them. 101 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,976 The closer two people are -- in age, in background, 102 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,318 in the process of identification -- the more there's a danger of envy, 103 00:04:23,342 --> 00:04:26,817 which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion, 104 00:04:26,841 --> 00:04:30,940 because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with. 105 00:04:30,964 --> 00:04:34,502 The problem of modern society is it turns the whole world into a school. 106 00:04:34,526 --> 00:04:36,796 Everybody's wearing jeans, everybody's the same. 107 00:04:36,820 --> 00:04:37,975 And yet, they're not. 108 00:04:37,999 --> 00:04:40,976 So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality, 109 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,691 which can make for a very stressful situation. 110 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:46,040 It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays 111 00:04:46,064 --> 00:04:47,976 become as rich and famous as Bill Gates, 112 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,976 as it was unlikely in the 17th century 113 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,242 that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy. 114 00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:55,314 But the point is, it doesn't feel that way. 115 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,404 It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets, 116 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:02,284 that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage -- 117 00:05:02,308 --> 00:05:04,739 you, too, could start a major thing. 118 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,118 (Laughter) 119 00:05:06,142 --> 00:05:09,381 The consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops. 120 00:05:09,405 --> 00:05:12,596 When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections, 121 00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:13,800 as I sometimes do -- 122 00:05:13,824 --> 00:05:16,910 if you analyze self-help books produced in the world today, 123 00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:18,381 there are basically two kinds. 124 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:22,191 The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything's possible!" 125 00:05:22,215 --> 00:05:26,811 The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem," 126 00:05:26,835 --> 00:05:29,462 or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself." 127 00:05:29,486 --> 00:05:30,976 There's a real correlation 128 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,976 between a society that tells people that they can do anything, 129 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,976 and the existence of low self-esteem. 130 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:40,976 So that's another way in which something quite positive can have a nasty kickback. 131 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,325 There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious -- 132 00:05:44,349 --> 00:05:47,976 about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before. 133 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,048 And it's, again, linked to something nice. 134 00:05:50,072 --> 00:05:52,770 And that nice thing is called meritocracy. 135 00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:55,096 Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right, 136 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,337 agree that meritocracy is a great thing, 137 00:05:57,361 --> 00:06:01,507 and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic. 138 00:06:01,531 --> 00:06:04,850 In other words -- what is a meritocratic society? 139 00:06:04,874 --> 00:06:09,000 A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill, 140 00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,596 you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back. 141 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,782 It's a beautiful idea. 142 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:16,130 The problem is, if you really believe in a society 143 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:18,822 where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, 144 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,851 you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way, 145 00:06:21,875 --> 00:06:25,572 believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom 146 00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:27,819 also get to the bottom and stay there. 147 00:06:27,843 --> 00:06:31,191 In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental, 148 00:06:31,215 --> 00:06:32,976 but merited and deserved. 149 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,976 And that makes failure seem much more crushing. 150 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,378 You know, in the Middle Ages, in England, 151 00:06:38,402 --> 00:06:40,274 when you met a very poor person, 152 00:06:40,298 --> 00:06:43,162 that person would be described as an "unfortunate" -- 153 00:06:43,186 --> 00:06:46,976 literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate. 154 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,096 Nowadays, particularly in the United States, 155 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,263 if you meet someone at the bottom of society, 156 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,976 they may unkindly be described as a "loser." 157 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,976 There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser, 158 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,976 and that shows 400 years of evolution in society 159 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,097 and our belief in who is responsible for our lives. 160 00:07:03,121 --> 00:07:05,976 It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat. 161 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,976 That's exhilarating if you're doing well, 162 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,852 and very crushing if you're not. 163 00:07:09,876 --> 00:07:11,418 It leads, in the worst cases -- 164 00:07:11,442 --> 00:07:14,409 in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim -- 165 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,740 it leads to increased rates of suicide. 166 00:07:16,764 --> 00:07:19,976 There are more suicides in developed, individualistic countries 167 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,741 than in any other part of the world. 168 00:07:21,765 --> 00:07:23,339 And some of the reason for that 169 00:07:23,363 --> 00:07:26,432 is that people take what happens to them extremely personally -- 170 00:07:26,456 --> 00:07:29,975 they own their success, but they also own their failure. 171 00:07:29,999 --> 00:07:32,286 Is there any relief from some of these pressures 172 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,647 that I've been outlining? 173 00:07:33,671 --> 00:07:34,830 I think there is. 174 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:36,620 I just want to turn to a few of them. 175 00:07:36,644 --> 00:07:37,976 Let's take meritocracy. 176 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,976 This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to, 177 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,808 I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy. 178 00:07:43,832 --> 00:07:46,084 I will support any politician of Left and Right, 179 00:07:46,108 --> 00:07:48,402 with any halfway-decent meritocratic idea; 180 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,976 I am a meritocrat in that sense. 181 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,672 But I think it's insane to believe 182 00:07:51,696 --> 00:07:55,153 that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic; 183 00:07:55,177 --> 00:07:56,411 it's an impossible dream. 184 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:59,896 The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded, 185 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,816 the good at the top, bad at the bottom, 186 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,976 exactly done as it should be, is impossible. 187 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,976 There are simply too many random factors: 188 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,976 accidents, accidents of birth, 189 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,000 accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc. 190 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,976 We will never get to grade them, 191 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,976 never get to grade people as they should. 192 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,143 I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God," 193 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:22,580 where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post." 194 00:08:22,604 --> 00:08:24,246 In modern English that would mean 195 00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,994 it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to, 196 00:08:27,018 --> 00:08:28,601 dependent on their business card. 197 00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,376 It's not the post that should count. 198 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:34,180 According to St. Augustine, only God can really put everybody in their place; 199 00:08:34,204 --> 00:08:36,339 he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment, 200 00:08:36,363 --> 00:08:38,745 with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open. 201 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,276 Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me. 202 00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:43,920 But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless. 203 00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:47,276 In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people. 204 00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,976 You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is. 205 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,976 That is an unknown part of them, 206 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,195 and we shouldn't behave as though it is known. 207 00:08:55,219 --> 00:08:58,020 There is another source of solace and comfort for all this. 208 00:08:58,044 --> 00:09:01,169 When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure, 209 00:09:01,193 --> 00:09:03,035 one of the reasons why we fear failing 210 00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,334 is not just a loss of income, a loss of status. 211 00:09:05,358 --> 00:09:08,101 What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others. 212 00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:09,278 And it exists. 213 00:09:09,302 --> 00:09:12,858 The number one organ of ridicule, nowadays, is the newspaper. 214 00:09:12,882 --> 00:09:15,071 If you open the newspaper any day of the week, 215 00:09:15,095 --> 00:09:17,411 it's full of people who've messed up their lives. 216 00:09:17,435 --> 00:09:20,428 They've slept with the wrong person, taken the wrong substance, 217 00:09:20,452 --> 00:09:22,474 passed the wrong piece of legislation -- 218 00:09:22,498 --> 00:09:24,666 whatever it is, and then are fit for ridicule. 219 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:27,975 In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers." 220 00:09:27,999 --> 00:09:29,827 Now, is there any alternative to this? 221 00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:34,447 I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative, which is tragedy. 222 00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:37,693 Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece, 223 00:09:37,717 --> 00:09:40,487 in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form 224 00:09:40,511 --> 00:09:42,976 devoted to tracing how people fail, 225 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,383 and also according them a level of sympathy, 226 00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:50,683 which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them. 227 00:09:50,707 --> 00:09:52,747 A few years ago, I was thinking about this, 228 00:09:52,771 --> 00:09:54,366 and I went to "The Sunday Sport," 229 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:57,000 a tabloid newspaper I don't recommend you start reading 230 00:09:57,024 --> 00:09:58,921 if you're not familiar with it already. 231 00:09:58,945 --> 00:09:59,953 (Laughter) 232 00:09:59,977 --> 00:10:01,219 And I went to talk to them 233 00:10:01,243 --> 00:10:03,984 about certain of the great tragedies of Western art. 234 00:10:04,008 --> 00:10:07,593 I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories, 235 00:10:07,617 --> 00:10:11,577 if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon. 236 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:14,725 I mentioned Othello; they'd not heard of it but were fascinated. 237 00:10:14,749 --> 00:10:15,757 (Laughter) 238 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:18,083 I asked them to write a headline for the story. 239 00:10:18,107 --> 00:10:21,546 They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter." 240 00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:22,976 Splashed across the headline. 241 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,000 I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary. 242 00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,215 Again, a book they were enchanted to discover. 243 00:10:27,239 --> 00:10:31,976 And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud." 244 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,016 (Laughter) 245 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,223 And then my favorite -- 246 00:10:34,247 --> 00:10:37,326 they really do have a kind of genius of their own, these guys -- 247 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:39,444 my favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King: 248 00:10:39,468 --> 00:10:41,976 "Sex With Mum Was Blinding." 249 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,976 (Laughter) 250 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,976 (Applause) 251 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,976 In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy, 252 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,793 you've got the tabloid newspaper. 253 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:55,008 At the other end of the spectrum, you've got tragedy and tragic art. 254 00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:57,806 And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit 255 00:10:57,830 --> 00:10:59,616 about what's happening in tragic art. 256 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,338 It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser. 257 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,673 He is not a loser, though he has lost. 258 00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,334 And I think that is the message of tragedy to us, 259 00:11:07,358 --> 00:11:09,976 and why it's so very, very important, I think. 260 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,976 The other thing about modern society and why it causes this anxiety, 261 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,976 is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human. 262 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,588 We are the first society to be living in a world 263 00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:22,104 where we don't worship anything other than ourselves. 264 00:11:22,128 --> 00:11:24,573 We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should; 265 00:11:24,597 --> 00:11:27,890 we've put people on the Moon, done all sorts of extraordinary things. 266 00:11:27,914 --> 00:11:31,207 And so we tend to worship ourselves. Our heroes are human heroes. 267 00:11:31,231 --> 00:11:32,794 That's a very new situation. 268 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,325 Most other societies have had, right at their center, 269 00:11:35,349 --> 00:11:38,770 the worship of something transcendent: a god, a spirit, a natural force, 270 00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:42,144 the universe, whatever it is -- something else that is being worshiped. 271 00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:44,240 We've slightly lost the habit of doing that, 272 00:11:44,264 --> 00:11:47,032 which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature. 273 00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:50,312 Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way, 274 00:11:50,336 --> 00:11:52,976 but because it's an escape from the human anthill. 275 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,976 It's an escape from our own competition, 276 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,976 and our own dramas. 277 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,620 And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans, 278 00:11:59,644 --> 00:12:03,595 and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc. 279 00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:07,198 We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human, 280 00:12:07,222 --> 00:12:10,976 and that is so deeply important to us. 281 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,191 What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure. 282 00:12:14,215 --> 00:12:16,644 And one of the interesting things about success 283 00:12:16,668 --> 00:12:18,652 is that we think we know what it means. 284 00:12:18,676 --> 00:12:22,073 If I said that there's somebody behind the screen who's very successful, 285 00:12:22,097 --> 00:12:24,474 certain ideas would immediately come to mind. 286 00:12:24,498 --> 00:12:27,148 You'd think that person might have made a lot of money, 287 00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:29,080 achieved renown in some field. 288 00:12:29,104 --> 00:12:30,433 My own theory of success -- 289 00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:32,616 I'm somebody who's very interested in success, 290 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,121 I really want to be successful, 291 00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:36,327 always thinking, how can I be more successful? 292 00:12:36,351 --> 00:12:40,332 But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean. 293 00:12:40,705 --> 00:12:42,919 Here's an insight that I've had about success: 294 00:12:42,943 --> 00:12:44,824 You can't be successful at everything. 295 00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:47,111 We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance. 296 00:12:47,135 --> 00:12:48,286 Nonsense. 297 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,976 You can't have it all. You can't. 298 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,475 So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on, 299 00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:56,176 where the element of loss is. 300 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,724 And I think any wise life will accept, 301 00:12:58,748 --> 00:13:02,524 as I say, that there is going to be an element where we're not succeeding. 302 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,556 And the thing about a successful life is that a lot of the time, 303 00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:09,470 our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. 304 00:13:09,494 --> 00:13:11,209 They're sucked in from other people; 305 00:13:11,233 --> 00:13:14,837 chiefly, if you're a man, your father, and if you're a woman, your mother. 306 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:18,226 Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years. 307 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:21,757 No one's quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe it's true. 308 00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:24,899 And we also suck in messages from everything from the television, 309 00:13:24,923 --> 00:13:26,709 to advertising, to marketing, etc. 310 00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:28,976 These are hugely powerful forces 311 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,976 that define what we want and how we view ourselves. 312 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,976 When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession, 313 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,976 a lot of us want to go into banking. 314 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,334 When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking. 315 00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:44,416 We are highly open to suggestion. 316 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,337 So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up 317 00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:48,976 on our ideas of success, 318 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,191 but we should make sure that they are our own. 319 00:13:51,215 --> 00:13:52,976 We should focus in on our ideas, 320 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,731 and make sure that we own them; 321 00:13:55,755 --> 00:13:58,176 that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions. 322 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,001 Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, 323 00:14:01,025 --> 00:14:04,112 but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want, 324 00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,176 and find out, at the end of the journey, 325 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,364 that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along. 326 00:14:09,388 --> 00:14:10,976 So, I'm going to end it there. 327 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:15,976 But what I really want to stress is: by all means, success, yes. 328 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,572 But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas. 329 00:14:18,596 --> 00:14:21,341 Let's probe away at our notions of success. 330 00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:24,976 Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own. 331 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,976 Thank you very much. 332 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:33,284 (Applause) 333 00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:44,515 Chris Anderson: That was fascinating. 334 00:14:44,539 --> 00:14:49,976 But how do you reconcile this idea 335 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,770 of it being bad to think of someone as a "loser," 336 00:14:52,794 --> 00:14:57,632 with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life, 337 00:14:57,656 --> 00:15:00,561 and that a society that encourages that, 338 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,976 perhaps has to have some winners and losers? 339 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,651 Alain De Botton: Yes, I think it's merely the randomness 340 00:15:05,675 --> 00:15:08,341 of the winning and losing process that I want to stress, 341 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,976 because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything, 342 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,001 and politicians always talk about justice. 343 00:15:14,025 --> 00:15:17,433 Now I'm a firm believer in justice, I just think that it's impossible. 344 00:15:17,457 --> 00:15:21,060 So we should do everything we can to pursue it, 345 00:15:21,084 --> 00:15:24,520 but we should always remember that whoever is facing us, 346 00:15:24,544 --> 00:15:26,687 whatever has happened in their lives, 347 00:15:26,711 --> 00:15:28,976 there will be a strong element of the haphazard. 348 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,216 That's what I'm trying to leave room for; 349 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,306 otherwise, it can get quite claustrophobic. 350 00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:35,555 CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine 351 00:15:35,579 --> 00:15:37,864 your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work 352 00:15:37,888 --> 00:15:40,976 with a successful economy? 353 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,782 Or do you think that you can't, 354 00:15:42,806 --> 00:15:46,480 but it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that? 355 00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:47,976 AB: The nightmare thought 356 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,976 is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them, 357 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:55,412 and that somehow the crueler the environment, 358 00:15:55,436 --> 00:15:57,801 the more people will rise to the challenge. 359 00:15:57,825 --> 00:16:00,770 You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad? 360 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,976 And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle. 361 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,213 And it's a very hard line to make. 362 00:16:06,237 --> 00:16:09,976 We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society, 363 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,423 avoiding the two extremes, 364 00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:15,976 which is the authoritarian disciplinarian on the one hand, 365 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,801 and on the other, the lax, no-rules option. 366 00:16:20,825 --> 00:16:22,198 CA: Alain De Botton. 367 00:16:22,222 --> 00:16:23,977 AB: Thank you very much. 368 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:29,888 (Applause)