Arin: (nerdy voice) Mickey Mouse? (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) First of all… (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: ♪ Hey, I'm grump! ♪ Danny: ♪ I'm not so grump! ♪ Both: ♪ And we're the Game Grumps! ♪ Arin: (nerdy voice) What the heck is up with this game? (Danny laughs) Arin: Are those paintings or windows? Danny: (laughing) Oh my god! Arin: (nerdy voice) Jeez, game designers. Make up your minds. Danny: OK, so this is Mickey Mousecapade… Danny: (laughing) …and right before we started, Arin and I were watching a walkthrough… Danny: …where one of those guys was doing one of those fake-ass Angry Video Game Nerd voices… Danny: …and now Arin can't stop doing it, and it's cracking my shit up. Arin: (nerdy voice) What is this bullshit? (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) Two cats? Why not three? Jeez. What were they thinking? (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) This game's a bunch of poopy ass-dicks covered in chocolate feces. (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) What is this? Some kind of angel? I don't want religion in my game. Danny: (laughing) Oh my god! Arin: (nerdy voice) Jeez! Walking chairs? What's he in a hurry for? To get sit on? Danny: (laughing) Stop! I can't handle it! Arin: (nerdy voice) What's this flashing bird flashing for? Is he the police? (Arin and Danny laugh) Danny: Holy shit! Arin: (nerdy voice) Jeez. You open up a locked treasure chest to get a key. Arin: (nerdy voice) Isn't that ass-backwards? (Arin and Danny laugh) Danny: (laughing) Oh my god! Arin: (nerdy voice) What's the deal with these wall grenades? (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) You'd think they'd explode a little bit bigger. Arin: (nerdy voice) Come on, game designers. Get with it! (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) This game's a bunch of poopy ass-drippings covered in semen! (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: (laughing until he coughs) Oh god, the Skittles! I'm going to throw up Skittles! Arin: (nerdy voice) Are you OK, Dan, or do you need a lobotomy? Danny: (laughing) Shut up! Jeez, it's so stupid! Oh my god! Arin: (nerdy voice) In this game, you play as a retarded mouse named Mickey. Arin: (nerdy voice) He's got his girlfriend with him, but she should be too busy… in the kitchen! (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: My god… Oh no! Minnie! Arin: (nerdy voice) Sometimes, your girlfriend gets kidnapped by a bird. Arin: (nerdy voice) Just like her. …Bitch. (laughs) (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Oh god! I can't deal with this! Arin: (nerdy voice) This game has nothing to do with Disney… except that it sucks! Danny: (laughing) So stupid. Arin: (nerdy voice) What a bunch of poopy anus farts covered in dick waffles… (Arin and Danny laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) …being poured all over a fat girl's titties! (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Oh, my lungs are going to collapse! Danny: Minnie, you fucking bitch, where are you? Arin: (nerdy voice) I've never experienced such ass-etry in my life! Arin: (nerdy voice) Well, except maybe after I took that long diarrhea dump when I ate IHOP. Danny: (laughing) Oh my god. How many fucking— OK, so Minnie's in one of these statues. Danny: I gotta find her. Oh, damn it. Arin: (nerdy voice) This is the dumbest game mechanic ever. Arin: (nerdy voice) You have to keep going through a window, and if it's not the right Minnie… Arin: (nerdy voice) …you have to come out again. Jeez! What were they thinking? Arin: (nerdy voice) This game's a bunch of poopy— (Danny interrupts with loud laughter and Arin joins him) Arin: (nerdy voice) …that's been dipped in… vomit… from a cow's butthole! Danny: Yay, Minnie! Ohhh, my god. Arin: (nerdy voice) So, you get your girlfriend back, but she doesn't even do anything! Arin: (nerdy voice) Why would you even want to get her back? …Bitch. (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) And then you get to the first boss. She's a fat-ass witch and she shoots cotton balls. Arin: (nerdy voice) Who gets hurt by cotton balls? Apparently, Mickey and his… bitch. (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) Gosh. This game sucks so much. Who designed it? Satan? (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Oh my god. Would you say it reminds you of anything, Arin? Danny: Like, maybe a certain type of feces of some kind? Arin: (nerdy voice) Yeah. It reminds me of a pile of diarrhea dick farts… Arin: (nerdy voice) …covered in cheesy vomit with a side of gorilla poop. Danny: This may be the most mature episode of Game Grumps that's ever happened. Danny: Oh, come on, Minnie. I need you. Arin: (nerdy voice) I've never played such a bad game in my life. Arin: (nerdy voice) Well, maybe I have. It's called Mickey Mousecapade 2. (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Oh, I can't deal with this anymore. Arin: (nerdy voice) How are these spiders coming down? They don't even have web. Arin: (nerdy voice) What the heck, game designers? Get it together! (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Oh my god, I'm going to fucking barf. Arin: (nerdy voice) You're gonna barf? This game makes me barf… out diarrhea dicks! (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) I pissed a cactus out my dick! Danny: (laughing) What?! What does that even mean? Arin: (nerdy voice) I farted on my mother's face, and she liked it better than this game. Danny: (laughing) Oh, Jesus Christ. Danny: This is gonna be the… Danny: I don't know if I've shown my mom Game Grumps yet… Danny: …but this is definitely going to be the first episode she sees, just by fate… Danny: …and she'll be like, "Cool living you're making, Dan." Arin: (laughing) "I'm glad you get to giggle at fart jokes all day." Danny: "Really proud I sent you through college." (Danny and Arin laugh) Arin: She just, like, sheds a tear. Like, tear of joy or tear of something else? Danny: Are you sensing that this door is requiring something? Yeah! Danny: Oh, we can do it! Let's get out of here. Arin: (nerdy voice) Wow! Glad I escaped that game! Wait. There's more? Ohhh nooo! Arin: (nerdy voice) This game sucks better than a dick… farting on a… bagina… (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) …covered in poop! Danny: (laughing) Oh my god. Did you say "bagina"? Arin: Yeah. (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: Actually, I remember this board as being super hard, 'cause like… Danny: …rogue waves just come that you can't fuckin', like… Danny: Wait, is that a fuckin'… fox? Danny: Aah! Arin: Whoa! (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: I feel like, now, everything we're doing is, like, in that voice… Danny: …whether we want it to be or not. Like… (nerdy voice) "Oh no!" Arin: (nerdy voice) Whoa! Waves? Like that? That's not according to plate tectonics! Danny: Dude, is that a fox-bird? Arin: (nerdy voice) And then you have to avoid these birds that are constantly taking a shit. Arin: (nerdy voice) What did they eat? Taco Bell? (Danny laughs) Danny: This episode of Game Grumps sponsored by Taco Bell. (Arin laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) And then, when you get to the end of the screen, there's a bouncing alligator… Arin: (nerdy voice) …and he's got no hands! Wait, maybe he does. Arin: (nerdy voice) Come on, game designers! Make up your minds! Danny: (nerdy voice) Oh my god, dude. I can't handle it. Arin: (nerdy voice) This game's a bunch of diarrhea in the ass. Danny: (laughing) Dude, it's when you compound the types of shit that the game is that I really can't deal. Arin: (nerdy voice) The only thing this game reminds me of is the massive shit I took earlier. (Arin and Danny laugh) Arin: (nerdy voice) I've never been happier to play a game… except every other game I've ever played! Danny: (laughing) Oh god. Are there really a ton of guys like that? Arin: Oh, totally, dude! Danny: Oh, Jesus. Arin: I mean, once AVGN hit the scene and made everybody laugh, everyone was like… Arin: (nerdy voice) "I can do that! Let me put up my own videos!" Arin: And yet they all forget that you need to be talented, charming, and funny to pull it off. Danny: (laughing) Oh my god. Oh no! Oh… Arin: So, if Minnie dies, you die? Danny: Yeah, you just fuckin', like… die from grief, I guess. Danny: "AAAHH! NOOO!" Arin: (nerdy voice) If useless-ass Minnie dies, you die. What is this? A marriage? (Danny laughs) Danny: Wow, there is a fuckin' massive jump in difficulty from level 1 to level 2. Wow. Danny: I was dealing with, like, chairs, and now it's every creature in the ocean and fox-birds. Arin: (laughs) Fox-birds… and jellyfish and waves and then Crocodile Man… Arin: …who, by the way… they don't swim in the ocean. They swim in lakes and ponds. Danny: A lot of people don't know that. GOD DAMN IT! Arin: Jeez, man. Danny: Right? Danny: All right. I might not be able to make this happen. Arin: I think you can make it happen. Danny: Can you give me strength by perhaps… Danny: …listing a bunch of different types of things that can come out of an anus? Arin: (nerdy voice) This game reminds me of a piece of dooky butt… Danny: (laughing) "Dooky Boy"? Arin: (nerdy voice) …that smells like I put my hand in my mother's butthole! (Danny laughs) Arin: (nerdy voice) I ate chili today just so I could take a shit that's better than this game. (Danny and Arin laugh) Danny: (laughing) Oh my god. Oh my god! Arin: (nerdy voice) I dug up a grave because I hear that you take a shit when you die… Arin: (nerdy voice) …and it's probably better than this game! Arin: (nerdy voice) What a bunch of ass drippings! What a bunch of kooky docky poo-poo! Arin: (nerdy voice) What a bunch of brown and red feces! Yeah, that's bloody feces. Danny: (laughing) Stop! Oh god! Danny: Dude, we're gonna have amazing abs from laughing like goofballs for fuckin' 40 minutes straight. Arin: (nerdy voice) When you have better abs, it makes you poop better… Arin: (nerdy voice) …which means you'll poop out a better game than this. Danny: (laughing) Oh my god, dude. I can't deal. Danny: Ah! Oh no! Ah, I'm dead. I think that's the game. I think I lost. Oh, man. Danny: (laughing) Well, this has been a super fun fuckin' episode. Arin: (bumps the mic, nerdy voice) What a piece of bullshit! Arin: (nerdy voice) You play the game and die and you get a game over? Arin: What, do I just bring the game back? Come on! Let me try again! (bumps the mic) Danny: Was this game sent to us by anybody? Arin: NO! Danny: OK. (laughing) In that case… Arin: BYE!!! (Danny laughs)