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[Ridgewood--Queens]


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["New York Close Up"]


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["Jamian Juliano-Villani Kreće na posao"]

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To je jednostavna rutina:

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ulazim,

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podgrijem kavu,

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sjednem za kompjuter, pogledam stvari

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očistim svoje kistove,

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i onda krenem na posao.

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Nisam imala slobodnog vremena otkad
sam započela, što je ludo.

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Jednom kada imate rokove,
to je kao predstojeća osuda na propast,


12
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Kao svodnik!

13
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Kao da stalno dugujete nekome nešto.

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Stres ubija kreativnost.

15
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Ako napravite lošu sliku
a vaš je posao da ste umjetnik

16
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to je nešto najgore.

17
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To je sramotno.

18
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Kao da imaš čokoladu po cijelom licu
ili tako nešto--

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i ideš na neku gala večeru.

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Ti si dobar onoliko koliko
je tvoja zadnja slika--


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što je loše--

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ali, znate, to je neka vrsta istine.

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Odrastala sam usred ničega,
u New Jerseyu.

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i samo sam željela otići iz New Jerseya
i odmah doći u New York.

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Činilo se da je New York mjesto gdje su
svi umjetnici odlazili postati umjetnici.

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["Painters Painting"]

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Gledala sam "Painters Painting"--

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Stella i Rauschenberg
i bla bla bla,

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i svi su oni, znate, u New Yorku--

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i sjede na ljestvama, prekriveni bojom.

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Za mene kao tinejdžerku, to je bilo
čudesno.

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"To je..."

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"To je to!"
Razumijete?

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Sada to manje idealiziram

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jer dolazak u New York
i sam ulazak u umjetnički svijet--

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to je ludo!

37
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Imala sam mali milijun loših poslova.

38
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Konobarica u noćnoj smjeni.

39
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Radila sam u društvenom domu.

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Podučavala gimnastiku.

41
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Učiteljica u vrtiću.

42
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Uređivala knjige za marinca
koji je bio opsjednut brodovima.

43
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Putovala sam na posao i nazad
od posla u restoranu u New Jerseyu.

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pa sam mogla dobiti svoj prvi 
stan u New Yorku.

45
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Zapravo sam slikala na krevetu,

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i bila budna svaku noć kako bi slikala.

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Polako sam dobila malo veću sobu--

48
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i onda sam dobila malo veću sobu.

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Prije tri godine, dobila sam
moj prvi pravi studio ikada.

50
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To je bilo kao Božić, svaki dan.

51
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--Užasno.

52
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Slike su, mislim...

53
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One su nezgodne.

54
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Trebaš ih napraviti boljima,
napraviti čudnijma,

55
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napraviti ih pametnijima,
napraviti ih glupljima.

56
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Samo naslikaš snjegovića
u pustinji...

57
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To je to? Zbilja?

58
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Kao da nema drugog koraka, 
znate?

59
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Je li to kao kratak vic?

60
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Imam smisao za humor
i vrlo lak način pristupa nečemu.

61
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Upravo izmisliš vic,

62
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i onda od tamo
kako možeš to izjednačiti,

63
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psihološko ili osobno?

64
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To je kao ping pong
naprijed i natrag, naprijed i natrag,

65
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dok nisu samo
sve te stvari koje idu ovako

66
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negirajući sebe.

67
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Donijela sam mnogo čudnih odluka
baš ovdje

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usred noći.

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Ali puno od toga je razgovor s 
drugim ljudima.

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Ako imaš sve te drugačije glasove
koji ulaze,

71
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manje je od podučavanja jedan na jedan.

72
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[Ajay Kurian, Umjetnik]


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Preko puta hodnika je Ajay

74
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koji je izvanredan umjetnik.

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