1
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[Ridgewood--Queens]

2
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["New York Close Up"]

3
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["Jamian Juliano-Villani Gets to work"]

4
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It's a very simple routine:

5
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I come in,

6
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reheat my coffee,

7
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go on to computer, look at stuff,

8
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clean my brushes,

9
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and then I get to work.

10
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I've not had time off since I started,
which is crazy.

11
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Once you have a deadline
it's like impending doom.

12
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It's like a pimp!

13
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Constantly, like you owe someone something.

14
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Stress assassinates creativity.

15
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If you make a bad painting
and your job is an artist,

16
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it's like the worst.

17
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It's mortifying.

18
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It's like having chocolate all over your face
or something--

19
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and you're going to some gala.

20
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You're only as good as your last painting--

21
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which sucks--

22
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but, you know, it's kind of the truth.

23
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I was growing up in the middle of nowhere,
in New Jersey.

24
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And I just wanted to get out of New Jersey
and get to New York immediately.

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New York is where it seemed like all
the artists went to be artists.

26
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["Painters Painting"]


27
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I was watching "Painters Painting"--

28
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Stella i Rauschenberg
and blah blah blah,

29
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and they're all in New York, you know--

30
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sitting on ladders, covered in paint.

31
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For me as a teenager, it was amazing.

32
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"That's..."

33
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"That's it!"
You know?

34
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Now I romanticize it less

35
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because coming to New York
and starting to be in the art world thing--

36
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it's insane!

37
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I had a million shitty jobs.

38
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Overnight shift diner waitress.

39
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I worked at a group home.

40
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Taught gymnastics.

41
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Kindergarten teacher.

42
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I organized books for a marine
who was obsessed with ships.

43
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I was commuting back and forth
from working at a restaurant in New Jersey.

44
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so I could get my first apartment in New York.

45
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I was basically painting on top of my bed,

46
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staying up every other night to paint.

47
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Slowly, I got a slightly bigger room--

48
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and then I got a slightly bigger room.

49
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Three years ago,
I actually got my first real studio ever.

50
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That was like Christmas, every day.

51
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--Terrible.

52
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The paintings, I think, are...

53
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They're tricky,

54
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You need to make them better,
make them weirder

55
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make them smarter,
make them dumber.

56
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You just paint a snowman
in the desert...

57
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That's it? Really?

58
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Like, there's no other step,
you know?

59
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It's like some stupid one-liner?

60
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I have a sense of humor
and a really light way to approach something.

61
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Just come up with a joke,

62
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and then from there,
how can you offset that,

63
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so it's like 
psychological or personal?

64
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It's like ping pong
back and forth, back and forth,

65
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until it's just
all these things going like this,

66
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negating itself.

67
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A lot of weird decisions just happen here
by myself

68
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in the middle of the night.

69
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But also a lot of it is talking to other people.

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If you have all these voices 
coming here,

71
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it's less of a one-person lecture.

72
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[Ajay Kurian, Artist]

73
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Across the hall is Ajay,

74
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who is an amazing artist.

75
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Man, he saved my ass so many times
with so many shows.

76
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"Uh, can you give me a minute
and we could like, um..."

77
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"You could just give me moral support please? Thanks."

78
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:18,340
--I'm thinking like a very very, super light,
pale teal kind of colors.

79
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--Blue, or very very pale purple.

80
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--Purple is probably better?

81
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--Like cool purple.

82
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[KURIAN]
--Like lavender, or?

83
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[JULIANO-VILLANI]
--Cool ass purple.

84
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[KURIAN]
--I could see that.

85
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[JULIANO-VILLANI]
--Right.

86
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--Or like a...

87
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[KURIAN]
--Is that a vase or a mirror?

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[JULIANO-VILLANI]
--Who the fuck knows?

89
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--It will be a mirror.

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[KURIAN]
--Okay.

91
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[JULIANO-VILLANI]
--Hmm...

92
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--Fuck.

93
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One of my friends was telling me,

94
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"Just put some crap in there,
no one can tell."

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I was like, "Thanks, jerk!"

96
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[Inhales sharply]

97
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But I can definitely tell.

98
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Because these are supposed to be confident.

99
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I just turned 30.

100
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,693
I mean, I chainsmoke--
like, you know, a pack and a half a day.

101
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,920
I drink a lot.

102
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,000
My sleeping habits are terrible.

103
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I eat garbage.

104
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This is just a vessel,
you know what I mean?

105
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The past couple of years, I had so much stamina

106
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,700
and just kept on working and pumping.

107
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And now, it's like, when it actually matters,

108
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I got to make sure I still have it.

109
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I think the main pressure is
maintaining integrity

110
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and making work that you feel good about--

111
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even under pressure,
which is really difficult.

112
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I really want to push the paintings--

113
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and I don't know how yet,
but hopefully I'll figure it out

114
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and make them something
that they aren't yet.

115
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I know I'm going to make some, like,

116
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embarrassing, bad sculptures
or videos or something.

117
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But, like, fuck it,
I got to do it,

118
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now is the time--

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while I have the energy.