WEBVTT 00:01:11.600 --> 00:01:13.364 Sweetheart. 00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:17.407 Go over to the window right now 00:01:17.480 --> 00:01:20.962 and open it as wide as you can. 00:01:21.160 --> 00:01:24.004 Please let me sleep. 00:01:35.160 --> 00:01:38.767 I think your mother's here from Mexico, 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:41.605 and she needs to leave. 00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:44.684 Open the window now. 00:01:44.840 --> 00:01:47.446 Why don't you open it, you lazy... 00:01:51.520 --> 00:01:52.931 Somebody help! 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:56.650 Close your mouth! 00:02:02.320 --> 00:02:04.607 No way. Can I ride him? 00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:23.444 A deer! 00:02:33.520 --> 00:02:35.522 Okay. 00:02:39.560 --> 00:02:44.043 Daddy, I left the front door open in case any animals wanted to come in. 00:02:44.120 --> 00:02:45.485 - You did, huh? - And one did. 00:02:45.600 --> 00:02:47.329 - Yeah. - Yeah, one crazy-ass one. 00:02:47.400 --> 00:02:50.210 No, you did a nice thing, sweetheart. 00:02:50.280 --> 00:02:52.009 Greg, I'm gonna need a bat! 00:02:52.080 --> 00:02:55.004 - Daddy, no! - No, no, I'm not going to hit the deer. 00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:57.970 I'm just going to massage his head for a little bit with it. 00:02:58.040 --> 00:03:00.122 Okay, come on, come on. 00:03:06.880 --> 00:03:08.245 He's right here. 00:03:08.320 --> 00:03:10.163 He's eating Bowser's food. 00:03:11.440 --> 00:03:12.885 Okay, he knows we're here now. 00:03:12.960 --> 00:03:15.122 Stay. Stay. 00:03:16.480 --> 00:03:18.369 What's he looking at? 00:03:19.920 --> 00:03:21.888 Move your doll towards me. 00:03:21.960 --> 00:03:23.121 And back to you. 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:25.929 Towards me. 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.809 Back to you. 00:03:27.880 --> 00:03:29.166 Three times, fast. 00:03:32.320 --> 00:03:33.810 Give me that thing. 00:03:33.880 --> 00:03:36.565 - Mr. Gigglesworth? - No, don't worry. Give it to me. 00:03:36.640 --> 00:03:38.688 - Go on. It's okay. It's okay. - Put it in my hand. 00:03:38.760 --> 00:03:40.171 Roxanne, take them in there. 00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:42.009 Over there. 00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:45.163 Hey, dude. You like this guy? 00:03:46.720 --> 00:03:47.960 You want to play with him? 00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:51.883 All right, let's go play in the other room. 00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.810 Come on. Come on, man. 00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:56.411 Slowly walk with me. 00:03:56.480 --> 00:03:58.084 I said slowly. 00:03:58.160 --> 00:03:59.161 No. 00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:02.007 Get out of the way! 00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:05.768 Oh, my God! 00:04:08.160 --> 00:04:10.003 Problem solved. 00:04:11.920 --> 00:04:14.321 Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him! 00:04:14.640 --> 00:04:16.369 A new problem begins. 00:04:16.760 --> 00:04:18.204 I'm sorry. 00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:20.170 Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder? 00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:24.244 Easy. 00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:27.606 It is nice. 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.284 - Thank you, all right. - Cool, yeah. 00:04:29.360 --> 00:04:30.600 Yeah, come on. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:36.002 28? 00:04:37.360 --> 00:04:39.442 Yes. 00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:43.443 35. 00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:46.968 That's right again, smarty-pants. 00:04:47.200 --> 00:04:48.281 Hi, Dad. 00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:51.125 - Hey, Bean, working on the math, huh? - Yep. 00:04:51.200 --> 00:04:54.283 Mommy said if I get all my math questions right, 00:04:54.560 --> 00:04:56.847 I get to ride my bike to school with Becky Feder. 00:04:56.960 --> 00:05:01.124 Really? Okay, Bean, well, what's seven plus nine? 00:05:01.200 --> 00:05:02.725 Seventy-nine. 00:05:03.680 --> 00:05:07.890 Is he a little boy or a computer? 'Cause I can't figure it out. 00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:10.641 Don't destroy his confidence. 00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:12.324 Happy summer, everybody. 00:05:14.760 --> 00:05:17.525 Okay, you sure you want to go with those boots, honey? 00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:19.329 I know you bedazzled them yourself. 00:05:19.400 --> 00:05:21.243 I'm just wondering if they'll attract 00:05:21.320 --> 00:05:24.324 too much attention, you know, from outer space. 00:05:24.400 --> 00:05:26.164 It's the last day of school, 00:05:26.240 --> 00:05:27.924 and Mom says I'm free to express myself. 00:05:28.080 --> 00:05:31.482 Building the confidence right here with R2-D2. 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:35.607 Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y. 00:05:35.680 --> 00:05:36.681 Confidence. 00:05:36.760 --> 00:05:38.205 Well, we're not gonna have to pay for college. 00:05:38.280 --> 00:05:40.089 That's for sure. 00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:42.686 Looks like a horse took a dump in Ronnie's diaper. 00:05:43.840 --> 00:05:46.047 You're gonna need federal aid to clean that up. 00:05:46.120 --> 00:05:49.602 Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo grenade go off in your diaper? 00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:52.524 - You gonna change it? - That's not my son, that's your son. 00:05:52.600 --> 00:05:55.490 Yesterday was my diaper day. 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:59.451 Today he is all yours, and it's gonna get nasty. 00:06:00.480 --> 00:06:02.289 Go, Ronnie. 00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:04.203 - Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie. - Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie. 00:06:04.280 --> 00:06:05.520 He looks like Nicki Minaj 00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:08.080 trying to shake her butt implants back into place. 00:06:08.160 --> 00:06:10.731 - Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie. - Come on, Ronnie. 00:06:10.800 --> 00:06:12.040 Go, Ronnie. 00:06:12.120 --> 00:06:13.724 You got a lot of appointments today, sweetie? 00:06:13.800 --> 00:06:15.404 Nah, just one repair job. 00:06:15.520 --> 00:06:16.806 Very special. 00:06:16.880 --> 00:06:18.564 All right, I'm going in. 00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:22.562 What is... 00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:28.970 What is this? 00:06:30.000 --> 00:06:31.604 A necklace? 00:06:31.960 --> 00:06:34.247 Happy 20th anniversary, babe. 00:06:34.320 --> 00:06:36.368 Wow, Dad, you remembered. 00:06:38.280 --> 00:06:40.328 Yeah. 00:06:41.440 --> 00:06:43.488 Mom didn't. 00:06:43.640 --> 00:06:46.086 That's cold. 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:48.608 I think I'm gonna bust out of here. 00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:50.609 So he gets off the train and nobody's there? 00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:52.768 Braden needs to spend at least one summer with you 00:06:52.840 --> 00:06:56.242 so he can say he has a dad, you deadbeat, Higgins. 00:06:56.320 --> 00:06:57.651 Well, not to be mean, 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.371 but I'm not even 1,000% sure who you are. 00:07:00.880 --> 00:07:02.769 I was up from Florida. 00:07:02.840 --> 00:07:07.084 Right in the middle of making out, I got a really bad case of the hiccups. 00:07:07.160 --> 00:07:09.162 Hiccups McGee? 00:07:09.280 --> 00:07:13.683 Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't know about with Hiccups McGee? 00:07:13.760 --> 00:07:15.489 And no offense, but I'm gonna have to ask 00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:16.766 for a DNA test, you know, 00:07:16.840 --> 00:07:19.366 because you just never... 00:07:21.120 --> 00:07:23.168 No need. 00:07:23.240 --> 00:07:24.890 Later, Hiccups. 00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:39.365 You're him. 00:07:39.680 --> 00:07:41.489 Yeah, without the hat. 00:07:41.560 --> 00:07:43.767 It's actually a good likeness. 00:07:43.840 --> 00:07:46.207 How you doing, man? 00:07:47.440 --> 00:07:48.566 I'm your dad. 00:07:48.840 --> 00:07:51.411 Nice to see you, Braden. 00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:53.404 That's strike one. 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:56.130 Good news is, you get... 00:07:56.200 --> 00:07:58.009 Unlimited amount of strikes. 00:07:59.520 --> 00:08:01.204 How about I take you to school? 00:08:01.600 --> 00:08:03.443 No school. 00:08:03.520 --> 00:08:05.170 Summertime. 00:08:05.240 --> 00:08:07.925 Not yet. One more day. I know, it's a drag. 00:08:08.000 --> 00:08:10.571 Normally I'd let you just blow it off and play hooky, 00:08:10.640 --> 00:08:12.927 but I'm volunteering at the soup kitchen today, 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:14.570 so when I'm done, 00:08:14.680 --> 00:08:16.921 I'll come pick you up and we'll hang out. 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:18.445 I got you this, but... 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:21.723 Obviously you're, like, 13, so I don't know, 00:08:21.800 --> 00:08:23.245 but it's actually pretty nice 00:08:23.320 --> 00:08:25.687 and cute, and you should cut the head off it, okay. 00:08:26.640 --> 00:08:29.166 Well, let's get going. 00:08:29.440 --> 00:08:32.409 - Yo, yo, yo, yo, don't forget this. - Is it a gift? 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.687 No, it's the Gigglesworth massacre. 00:08:34.760 --> 00:08:36.922 I told Becky you could sew it back together for her. 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:38.206 What? 00:08:38.280 --> 00:08:40.203 Martha Stewart couldn't fix this. 00:08:40.280 --> 00:08:41.405 Come on. 00:08:41.480 --> 00:08:45.371 But you're such a good daddy for picking up all the pieces. 00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:47.090 That's why I've been thinking, 00:08:47.160 --> 00:08:48.730 we moved back here to your hometown 00:08:48.840 --> 00:08:51.411 so we could have more quality time with our family, right? 00:08:51.480 --> 00:08:52.606 That's right. 00:08:52.920 --> 00:08:56.720 How would you feel about expanding? 00:08:56.800 --> 00:08:58.962 - Having another kid? - Yeah. 00:08:59.120 --> 00:09:02.727 But it's perfect right now, you know? 00:09:02.800 --> 00:09:05.246 If I buy one large pizza, Greg gets two pieces, 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:07.971 Keith gets two, Becky gets one, you get one, I get four. 00:09:08.040 --> 00:09:09.280 It's kind of perfect, you know. 00:09:09.400 --> 00:09:11.001 I don't want to have to buy another pie. 00:09:12.360 --> 00:09:14.567 Why don't you go on a diet, fat gordo éste? 00:09:14.680 --> 00:09:16.489 Come on, I've had a job since I'm 16. 00:09:16.560 --> 00:09:18.483 It's the first time I've got a free schedule. 00:09:18.560 --> 00:09:20.085 I'm just enjoying the fun. 00:09:20.160 --> 00:09:22.766 Don't forget Becky's ballet recital at 11:00. 00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:24.724 I got to go to that? 00:09:24.800 --> 00:09:27.007 I mean, I get to go to that? Great. 00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:30.841 I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out. That's great news. 00:09:31.160 --> 00:09:34.004 Have the best last day of school, my gorgeous children! 00:09:34.080 --> 00:09:35.366 I love you all! 00:09:35.440 --> 00:09:36.885 - Bye, Mom, bye. - Bye, Mom. 00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:38.291 Yeah, last day of school, Greg. 00:09:39.160 --> 00:09:41.128 Last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle. 00:09:41.200 --> 00:09:43.248 Nancy Arbuckle... What's that? You like a girl? 00:09:43.320 --> 00:09:45.800 Is that why you've been taking them long showers? 00:09:45.880 --> 00:09:47.450 No, I'm conditioning my hair. 00:09:47.520 --> 00:09:50.091 That's all I do in the shower... Condition my hair. 00:09:50.160 --> 00:09:51.400 That's not what the deer told me. 00:09:51.480 --> 00:09:52.686 That deer's a liar. 00:09:54.040 --> 00:09:57.123 I heard too much conditioning can make you go blind. 00:09:57.240 --> 00:09:58.571 What? Where'd you hear that? 00:09:58.640 --> 00:10:00.927 - Higgins. - I should kill him. 00:10:01.280 --> 00:10:04.602 He's too chicken to ask her out, Dad, 'cause she's the hottest girl in school, 00:10:04.680 --> 00:10:05.761 and Greg is fugly. 00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:08.286 So what he's fugly? All the guys in our family are fugly. 00:10:08.360 --> 00:10:10.249 That don't stop us from getting the hot chicks. 00:10:10.320 --> 00:10:13.290 Look at me and look at your mother. I mean, it makes no sense. 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:14.964 Only in, like, a Hollywood movie or something. 00:10:15.040 --> 00:10:16.769 Every guy in school likes her, Dad. 00:10:16.880 --> 00:10:18.086 And you'll be the guy who ends up with her. 00:10:18.160 --> 00:10:20.925 You know why? You're gonna follow my three-step program. 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:23.446 Number one, make the girl smile. 00:10:23.560 --> 00:10:25.801 Number two, tell her she has a nice smile. 00:10:25.880 --> 00:10:29.282 Number three, say she has to go out with you that night. 00:10:29.360 --> 00:10:30.327 Why that night? 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:32.727 'Cause it gives her less time to think about how fugly you are. 00:10:32.840 --> 00:10:33.966 'Cause you are fugly. 00:10:34.040 --> 00:10:35.769 That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. 00:10:35.840 --> 00:10:39.128 And Keithie's right... I'm too chicken to even talk to her. 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:42.164 Hey, you're a Feder. Feders ain't afraid of women, buddy. 00:10:42.240 --> 00:10:43.924 That's not the way I'm raising you. 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:46.201 By the way, Dad, did you ask Mom if I can play football? 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:47.605 No, I was scared. 00:10:47.680 --> 00:10:50.729 I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me in that accent that no one understands. 00:10:50.800 --> 00:10:52.723 Come on, Becky, it's 8:00. 00:10:52.920 --> 00:10:54.365 School starts at 8:15. 00:10:54.440 --> 00:10:57.569 That means we only have 25 minutes. 00:11:00.040 --> 00:11:03.806 Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bedtime? 00:11:03.880 --> 00:11:06.486 Will you stop worrying about him? He'll be fine. I love you. 00:11:06.600 --> 00:11:08.329 - Have the best last day, okay? - Okay. 00:11:08.400 --> 00:11:09.561 - Bye, guys. - Bye, Daddy. 00:11:09.640 --> 00:11:11.847 - Love you. - And you read the street signs, okay? 00:11:11.920 --> 00:11:13.081 Don't let Bean. 00:11:13.200 --> 00:11:16.204 My God, riding their bikes to school. 00:11:16.320 --> 00:11:18.891 Couldn't do that in L.A. with the nuts out there. 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:21.770 Yeah, 'cause thank God there's no crazy people out here. 00:11:28.280 --> 00:11:29.520 How you doing, Nick? 00:11:29.680 --> 00:11:33.048 My wife's leaving me after three weeks. 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:35.521 Three weeks? That's not bad for you. 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:37.045 What happened? 00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:40.488 She found me eating a banana with my butt. 00:11:40.720 --> 00:11:42.404 And she didn't like that? 00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:44.562 Yeah, she got really bummed out, 00:11:44.680 --> 00:11:47.729 but, you know, I shouldn't have done it at her mom's house. 00:11:47.800 --> 00:11:51.202 Yeah, you... You seem like you're a little extra out of it today. 00:11:51.280 --> 00:11:52.361 What's going on? 00:11:52.480 --> 00:11:53.811 Yeah, I'm a little medicated. 00:11:53.880 --> 00:11:56.884 I met a very reliable doctor at a Cypress Hill concert, 00:11:56.960 --> 00:11:59.770 and he floated me a couple pills just to feel better, you know. 00:11:59.840 --> 00:12:00.841 But I don't feel better! 00:12:00.920 --> 00:12:02.570 You feel worse! 00:12:08.840 --> 00:12:12.162 Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new bus driver. 00:12:13.640 --> 00:12:15.324 Finally got yourself a job. 00:12:15.400 --> 00:12:17.687 Actually I'm filling in for Drool-io Iglesias back there. 00:12:23.000 --> 00:12:24.889 Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary. 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:27.202 Thank you, Lenny. 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.091 Lenny remembered. Isn't that sweet? 00:12:30.160 --> 00:12:32.766 - And I never got him pregnant. - She forgot? 00:12:32.880 --> 00:12:35.247 - Yeah, she forgot. - No. 00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:37.641 I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card in the world. 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:39.210 I want one of those. 00:12:39.320 --> 00:12:40.810 You ain't never get one like this. Hey, honey, 00:12:40.880 --> 00:12:43.087 I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny. 00:12:43.160 --> 00:12:46.562 Don't worry about forgetting the 20th. I'm sure you'll remember the 30th. 00:12:46.840 --> 00:12:48.808 I love you. 00:12:48.880 --> 00:12:51.611 Yeah, sure you do... Deep down. 00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:00.651 That's not another necklace in there, is it? 00:13:04.200 --> 00:13:06.680 I'm gonna abuse this get-out-of-jail-free card, 00:13:06.760 --> 00:13:08.125 I'm telling you right now. 00:13:08.200 --> 00:13:12.046 I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good rug without taking off my boots. 00:13:12.120 --> 00:13:15.442 Or have a nice non-diet soda with my dinner. 00:13:15.520 --> 00:13:18.410 Not just one, either, a whole damn pitcher. 00:13:18.480 --> 00:13:20.403 - So you're going full gangsta. - Yeah. 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:22.130 But you know what I'd really like to do? 00:13:22.200 --> 00:13:23.645 Throw a "first night of summer" party. 00:13:23.720 --> 00:13:25.131 - Yeah. - You know, something a little crazy. 00:13:25.240 --> 00:13:28.244 Well, it's been many, many years since we've done something crazy. 00:13:28.320 --> 00:13:29.685 Just one problem, though. 00:13:29.760 --> 00:13:31.410 My house isn't big enough. 00:13:31.480 --> 00:13:33.084 But yours is. 00:13:33.160 --> 00:13:35.731 Last party I had was senior year in high school. 00:13:35.800 --> 00:13:37.723 Yeah, that was, like, the best night of my life. 00:13:37.800 --> 00:13:38.801 We all hooked up with chicks. 00:13:38.920 --> 00:13:40.649 Come on, why not do that again? 00:13:40.720 --> 00:13:45.442 Because we already have chicks and kids and high cholesterol now, so just... 00:13:45.520 --> 00:13:47.568 It's time to move on. You want to come over tonight with Dee, 00:13:47.680 --> 00:13:48.841 that's fine... I think. 00:13:48.920 --> 00:13:50.160 I got to ask my wife first. 00:13:50.240 --> 00:13:52.163 Okay, gangsta. 00:13:52.240 --> 00:13:57.007 Hey, hey, where'd you get those shoes, Losers "R" Us? 00:13:57.080 --> 00:13:58.161 I made them. 00:13:58.240 --> 00:13:59.685 You made them? 00:13:59.760 --> 00:14:01.285 In a toilet? 00:14:02.760 --> 00:14:04.683 That kid's like White Precious. 00:14:06.080 --> 00:14:07.047 Get lost, Duffy. 00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:08.485 Yeah, leave her alone. 00:14:08.560 --> 00:14:10.528 Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood? 00:14:10.600 --> 00:14:13.206 - You got something to say to me? - Nothing, nothing, nothing. 00:14:13.280 --> 00:14:16.443 Attention, Kmart shoppers, let's find a seat, please. 00:14:16.520 --> 00:14:17.851 Yes, you in the camouflage jacket 00:14:17.960 --> 00:14:19.610 and Mariah Carey hairdo. 00:14:19.680 --> 00:14:22.081 Yeah, just pop a squat, thank you. 00:14:22.160 --> 00:14:25.528 You're lucky your dad's here, but he won't be here all day. 00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:26.601 Leave me alone. 00:14:26.680 --> 00:14:28.728 Beanbag with arms and legs, 00:14:28.800 --> 00:14:30.086 seriously, take a seat, 00:14:30.160 --> 00:14:32.083 or seats, before someone gets hurt. 00:14:33.320 --> 00:14:35.163 You're dead, man. 00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:47.763 I'm gonna go get some things done, 00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:50.684 and then I'm gonna go to my daughter's ballet recital, 00:14:50.760 --> 00:14:52.728 so you're on your own until lunchtime. 00:14:52.800 --> 00:14:54.962 No worries. No one will come in anyway. 00:14:56.880 --> 00:14:58.882 Right. 00:14:59.000 --> 00:15:02.447 Does Leonard ever talk about me? 00:15:02.520 --> 00:15:03.931 Leonard? 00:15:04.000 --> 00:15:05.001 Your husband. 00:15:05.080 --> 00:15:06.650 Lenny. 00:15:06.720 --> 00:15:10.008 I probably should have told you this before I started working here, 00:15:10.080 --> 00:15:13.084 but he used to be my boyfriend. 00:15:16.720 --> 00:15:18.802 When did you guys go out? 00:15:18.880 --> 00:15:19.961 Sixth grade. 00:15:20.560 --> 00:15:21.607 This one time, 00:15:21.680 --> 00:15:25.526 we split a piece of bubble gum at recess. 00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:30.604 I brought in a note 00:15:30.680 --> 00:15:35.129 that he sent me, and I thought you should see it. 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:38.044 I just felt weird having a secret with you. 00:15:41.040 --> 00:15:45.284 "Do you like my hair better in a barrette or a headband?" 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:46.486 That's what I wrote. 00:15:46.560 --> 00:15:48.289 "Barrette." 00:15:48.360 --> 00:15:50.249 And that was his response. 00:15:54.720 --> 00:15:56.688 Does it bother you that I still wear it? 00:15:56.760 --> 00:16:00.321 No, no, no, I think it's sweet. 00:16:02.800 --> 00:16:04.882 I think he still has feelings for me. 00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:06.884 I'm gonna go work out now. 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.486 Do you really think that a tight, toned body 00:16:09.560 --> 00:16:11.801 will keep him away from his Hubba Bubba baby? 00:16:11.880 --> 00:16:15.009 I hope so. Bye. 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:17.487 You just messed with the wrong girl, chica! 00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:23.487 They spray-painted my baby. 00:16:23.560 --> 00:16:25.164 Gee, and everything's spelled right. 00:16:25.240 --> 00:16:26.969 These can't be my students. 00:16:31.240 --> 00:16:33.766 Have a nice day, Rapunzel. 00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:36.491 Hey, guys, can you believe this? 00:16:36.560 --> 00:16:38.403 Calendar turns to June, 00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:40.926 my wonderful students, they become animals. 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:42.604 Maybe they're just mad that you keep going 00:16:42.680 --> 00:16:44.170 to the babyGap to buy your clothes. 00:16:44.240 --> 00:16:46.163 Hey, Principal Tardio, good morning. 00:16:46.240 --> 00:16:48.004 Right to class, right to class. 00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:50.845 How was your last ride in before the summer, Nick? 00:16:53.440 --> 00:16:55.408 Remember, today is only a half a day. 00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:57.209 - And a half a shirt, right? - What? 00:16:57.280 --> 00:16:59.123 - I said he wants to wave good-bye to you. - Okay. 00:16:59.200 --> 00:17:02.568 - Here he goes. - I'm excited about the summer, too. 00:17:02.640 --> 00:17:04.722 Hey, that's my laptop! That's not waterproof! 00:17:04.800 --> 00:17:07.531 - Monkey boy, monkey boy. - Summer! 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:09.602 - Monkey boy. - Summer! 00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:12.444 Summer! Summer! 00:17:13.760 --> 00:17:15.603 So, what do you think? 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:17.290 Do I take you straight to work? 00:17:17.359 --> 00:17:22.048 I got one appointment I got to get to sometime between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. 00:17:22.119 --> 00:17:23.201 - Okay. - But she can wait. 00:17:23.280 --> 00:17:25.442 Good. And look at this. 00:17:25.520 --> 00:17:27.284 He's back at it again. 00:17:27.480 --> 00:17:28.811 Why isn't he at work? 00:17:28.880 --> 00:17:34.011 He's just... This woman has a grip on him. It's ridiculous. It's gonna ruin his marriage. 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:36.769 Thank you for breakfast, Mommy. 00:17:36.840 --> 00:17:39.844 Will you be coming by to watch Days of Our Lives later? 00:17:39.960 --> 00:17:43.442 Well, we got to find out which twin murdered Renaldo, right? 00:17:43.520 --> 00:17:44.806 We sure do. 00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:48.050 - Okay. - Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff, 00:17:48.120 --> 00:17:49.121 good to see you. 00:17:49.200 --> 00:17:51.407 Nice school bus, Lenny. 00:17:51.480 --> 00:17:53.164 Thank you. Have a great day. 00:17:53.240 --> 00:17:55.049 Did Mommy make the boo-boo go away? 00:17:55.120 --> 00:17:56.849 Don't tell the wife. 00:17:56.920 --> 00:17:58.046 What are you guys doing? 00:17:58.120 --> 00:17:59.849 Get in. 00:18:00.960 --> 00:18:02.962 Oh, hey, Nick. 00:18:03.040 --> 00:18:04.121 Nice. Nice. 00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:05.565 Let's hit it. 00:18:05.640 --> 00:18:07.483 Watch this. 00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:13.447 - Wow. - You got to respect that. 00:18:13.520 --> 00:18:14.521 That was awesome. 00:18:15.560 --> 00:18:18.848 What's Lenny's problem? They're so cute when they're little. 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:21.128 I know. I miss it. 00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:23.771 Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. 00:18:26.360 --> 00:18:28.044 You miss that? Really? 00:18:28.560 --> 00:18:30.562 Stay. Stay. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:31.926 Don't you growl at me. 00:18:32.000 --> 00:18:33.081 Stay, baby, Stay- 00:18:33.160 --> 00:18:34.286 Excuse me. 00:18:34.360 --> 00:18:36.442 Is your kid gonna be in here when the instructor comes in? 00:18:36.520 --> 00:18:37.965 That's not my kid. 00:18:38.040 --> 00:18:40.850 That's my lover, and he's very gentle. 00:18:43.520 --> 00:18:45.602 Kids don't belong in here. 00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:47.364 That leash better not trip me up. 00:18:47.480 --> 00:18:48.925 Leash isn't gonna trip you up. 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:52.083 It's your big-ass, hairy man feet that are gonna trip you up. 00:18:53.840 --> 00:18:55.729 She was just joking around, sir. 00:18:56.720 --> 00:18:58.484 Cool it. You're gonna get us killed. 00:18:58.560 --> 00:19:01.086 I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day. 00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:03.407 Welcome to Squat Fitness, ladies. 00:19:03.640 --> 00:19:06.644 Apparently your new instructor's running a bit late. 00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:08.484 I'm sorry. It's only five till... 00:19:08.560 --> 00:19:11.404 Yeah, so he asked me to lead you in some warm-up exercises. 00:19:11.520 --> 00:19:14.649 So, everybody, up on your feet, 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:17.291 and let's take a deep breath. 00:19:17.360 --> 00:19:18.646 Good. 00:19:18.760 --> 00:19:20.967 Deeper... Really stretch out those lungs. 00:19:21.040 --> 00:19:22.201 And now let's shimmy. 00:19:22.280 --> 00:19:23.680 Shake the shoulders back and forth. 00:19:23.720 --> 00:19:25.449 Shake them. 00:19:25.560 --> 00:19:27.244 Very good, very good. 00:19:27.320 --> 00:19:29.926 Yeah, oh, yeah. 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:32.446 Now let's do some jackhammer squats. 00:19:32.640 --> 00:19:35.007 Right, put your hands in front of you like this. Just relax. 00:19:35.080 --> 00:19:36.923 And then squat up and down but fast. 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:38.570 Faster, faster, there you go. 00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:39.641 Really fast. 00:19:39.720 --> 00:19:41.324 Faster, faster. 00:19:41.400 --> 00:19:43.243 Too fast. Do it a little slower. 00:19:43.320 --> 00:19:44.606 Now, everybody turn, 00:19:44.680 --> 00:19:47.126 face the back of the room, bend over, 00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:48.690 and reach for your toes. 00:19:48.760 --> 00:19:49.807 Why do we have to turn around? 00:19:49.880 --> 00:19:51.041 If you please. 00:19:52.120 --> 00:19:55.727 And bend over as low as you can go. 00:19:55.840 --> 00:19:59.447 Now take the right hand and slap it against the right cheek. 00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:02.365 Relax the wrist and slap that right butt, slap it. 00:20:02.600 --> 00:20:05.251 Good, I want to hear that slap. 00:20:05.320 --> 00:20:07.687 Yes, this is wonderful. 00:20:07.880 --> 00:20:10.042 Morning, ladies. 00:20:10.120 --> 00:20:11.565 You started without me? 00:20:11.640 --> 00:20:13.802 Yes, just like you asked me to. 00:20:14.200 --> 00:20:16.362 Say it's true even if it isn't. 00:20:16.440 --> 00:20:18.169 What? 00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:21.005 You loved it! You loved it! 00:20:23.960 --> 00:20:25.883 Yeah, that's my boy. 00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:28.327 - All right. - You're all prostitutes! 00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:30.448 Anyway. I'm Kyle, 00:20:30.520 --> 00:20:34.366 and welcome to the summer session of Squatrobics 101. 00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:38.206 I wish they called it something else, but that's what they told me to say. 00:20:38.280 --> 00:20:42.001 Okay, so, before we start for real, 00:20:42.080 --> 00:20:43.206 any questions? 00:20:43.280 --> 00:20:44.566 Yes. 00:20:44.680 --> 00:20:45.966 Are you married? 00:20:46.040 --> 00:20:47.121 No. 00:20:47.200 --> 00:20:48.361 Nope, I'm... I'm single. 00:20:48.440 --> 00:20:50.169 Yeah. 00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:54.564 I forgot. You're so gorgeous, my head is spinning. 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:55.926 I'm sorry. God. 00:20:56.840 --> 00:20:58.046 Go ahead. 00:20:58.120 --> 00:21:02.205 I have a very important question, and it's a two-parter. 00:21:02.320 --> 00:21:05.688 The first part of the question is, "Did a scientist make you in a lab?" 00:21:05.760 --> 00:21:07.444 And the second part of the question is, 00:21:07.520 --> 00:21:09.841 "Can I stick my tongue down your throat, please?" 00:21:09.920 --> 00:21:13.606 All right, guys, look, I'm flattered. Really, I am, 00:21:13.680 --> 00:21:17.605 but most of you are married and I happen to be gay. 00:21:19.360 --> 00:21:20.486 Of course he is. 00:21:20.560 --> 00:21:22.210 - All of 'em. - That sucks! 00:21:22.280 --> 00:21:23.486 What a waste! 00:21:23.560 --> 00:21:24.971 Stay out of my bag, little man. 00:21:25.320 --> 00:21:27.084 Why does she have this? 00:21:27.160 --> 00:21:29.367 That's not a jock strap, that's a G-string. 00:21:53.720 --> 00:21:55.006 Well, well, well, 00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:56.684 if it isn't Hollywood 00:21:56.760 --> 00:21:59.161 and the Squares. 00:21:59.240 --> 00:22:01.481 Hey, Malcolm, I didn't know you worked at Kmart, 00:22:01.560 --> 00:22:04.325 and apparently the hair on top of your head didn't know it, either. 00:22:04.400 --> 00:22:05.561 What? 00:22:05.640 --> 00:22:06.846 Do me a favor, go like this. 00:22:06.920 --> 00:22:08.604 I think I got something in my teeth. 00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:10.006 - What? - You know, 00:22:10.080 --> 00:22:13.482 next time, you should use that Chia Pet stuff on your whole head. 00:22:13.600 --> 00:22:14.840 What? 00:22:14.920 --> 00:22:15.887 Why is Higgins buying 00:22:15.960 --> 00:22:17.371 O.J.'s knife right now? 00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:19.608 - You think you're tough? - Hey, Malcolm, 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.286 is that the knife the Indians used to half-scalp you with? 00:22:22.400 --> 00:22:23.606 I don't even get that. 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:24.966 What? 00:22:25.040 --> 00:22:26.121 Come on, let's cheer him up 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:27.526 Benny Hill-style. Here we go. 00:22:27.600 --> 00:22:28.726 Come On, come On, come On, come On... 00:22:28.800 --> 00:22:29.961 Does that make you feel better? 00:22:30.040 --> 00:22:33.840 Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee, how'd it go with the kid? 00:22:33.920 --> 00:22:35.684 Good, good. He's in school. 00:22:35.760 --> 00:22:37.683 Kid's in school for one day? 00:22:37.760 --> 00:22:40.889 I didn't know what else to do. He's a thug, Lenny. 00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:43.531 He cut the head off a teddy bear. Imagine what he'll do to me. 00:22:43.600 --> 00:22:46.080 So you're gonna buy this to cut his head off? 00:22:46.160 --> 00:22:48.367 No, I just want him to think I'll cut his head off 00:22:48.440 --> 00:22:50.010 so then he won't cut my head off. 00:22:50.080 --> 00:22:53.050 You want to scare a relative without causing permanent injury? 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:55.647 May I Suggest this? 00:22:59.160 --> 00:23:03.927 Sir? Sir? Can you get off the bed? 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:05.729 It's wake-up time. 00:23:05.800 --> 00:23:10.408 Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up! Stop yelling at me. 00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:12.608 Now, why is... Being mean? 00:23:12.680 --> 00:23:16.048 I like sleeping over. It's just you always yell. 00:23:16.120 --> 00:23:18.122 You don't have to yell at me. 00:23:18.200 --> 00:23:20.009 I love you. 00:23:20.080 --> 00:23:21.445 I don't understand. 00:23:24.520 --> 00:23:26.249 Clean-up, aisle nine. 00:23:26.320 --> 00:23:28.766 Get out of me! 00:23:28.840 --> 00:23:31.730 And bring a shovel. 00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:35.367 So, my son Bumpty told me 00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:38.091 he's gonna ask your daughter out on a date at school today. 00:23:38.160 --> 00:23:40.970 First of all, my daughter's never been out on a date before, 00:23:41.040 --> 00:23:43.930 and I'm sure she's not gonna start off with some kid named Bumpty. 00:23:44.000 --> 00:23:46.970 He is the only other black kid in her grade. 00:23:47.040 --> 00:23:48.849 Wait, you want her to date a white guy? 00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:50.445 Yeah, Farrakhan. 00:23:50.520 --> 00:23:52.640 I'd rather she date the whitest white guy in the world 00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:54.762 than your little bald-headed boy. 00:23:55.040 --> 00:23:57.930 All right, but, you know, don't worry when she says yes, 00:23:58.040 --> 00:23:59.690 'cause I already had the talk with him. 00:23:59.760 --> 00:24:01.524 - What talk? - Dating. 00:24:01.600 --> 00:24:04.410 I told him how we used to roll with the ladies in high school. 00:24:04.480 --> 00:24:07.882 You know, beep-beep. 00:24:10.560 --> 00:24:12.801 What? 00:24:12.880 --> 00:24:15.326 I should get some pepper spray for my kid. 00:24:15.400 --> 00:24:17.846 Some moron on the bus keeps messing with him, 00:24:17.920 --> 00:24:19.729 and he refuses to fight back. 00:24:19.800 --> 00:24:22.167 You know, that reminds me of someone I know. 00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:23.685 - Who? - You. 00:24:23.760 --> 00:24:25.683 What are you talking about? I got in plenty of fights. 00:24:25.760 --> 00:24:27.524 Remember ninth grade when Tommy Cavanaugh 00:24:27.600 --> 00:24:29.045 moved here from Texas? 00:24:29.120 --> 00:24:32.602 He nonstop abused you, and you did nothing about it. 00:24:32.680 --> 00:24:34.523 Tommy Cavanaugh was a 'row freak. 00:24:34.600 --> 00:24:36.602 He had back zits on his back zits. 00:24:36.680 --> 00:24:38.284 Plus, he was joking around with me. 00:24:38.360 --> 00:24:41.330 If it was real, I swear to God, I would've knocked him out. 00:24:41.400 --> 00:24:42.606 Hey, isn't that Cavanaugh right there? 00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:44.648 Where? 00:24:45.600 --> 00:24:46.647 Gotcha. 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:48.848 That was really funny, man, really funny. 00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:52.641 Hey, you weren't exactly Captain Courageous when we were growing up, now, were you? 00:24:52.760 --> 00:24:54.603 Hey, I never backed out of a fight, though. 00:24:54.720 --> 00:24:57.166 Yeah, but did you ever jump off Suicide 35 at the quarry? 00:24:57.240 --> 00:24:58.765 That's right. 00:24:58.840 --> 00:25:00.922 He always came up with a lame excuse not to do it. 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:02.561 - What are you talking about? - "I can't. 00:25:02.600 --> 00:25:04.887 "I'm on my period. It'll attract sharks." 00:25:05.680 --> 00:25:10.004 Suicide 35 off the top rock. 35 feet above the water. 00:25:10.080 --> 00:25:13.323 My mom did that jump when she was pregnant with me. 00:25:22.760 --> 00:25:24.524 There's a raft in there? 00:25:32.240 --> 00:25:34.163 Who did that? 00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:38.764 All right, little birds. Find your nests, man. 00:25:38.960 --> 00:25:42.646 Float down. There we go, and we're in. 00:25:42.720 --> 00:25:43.801 All right, guys, 00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:47.202 normally we don't have exciting news this late into the term, 00:25:47.280 --> 00:25:50.648 but we have a new student joining us today, Braden Higgins. 00:25:50.720 --> 00:25:51.960 Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man. 00:25:52.040 --> 00:25:54.327 Why don't you go cop a squat? 00:25:58.600 --> 00:26:00.568 Or go that way, man. 00:26:00.640 --> 00:26:02.642 Take your own path. 00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:09.923 No. 00:26:10.000 --> 00:26:11.411 I sit here. 00:26:17.480 --> 00:26:19.562 Is your dad Marcus Higgins? 00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:22.251 Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby. He's the funniest. 00:26:22.320 --> 00:26:24.448 The best. Great, great man. 00:26:25.680 --> 00:26:28.490 I want to smash his face. 00:26:28.560 --> 00:26:30.562 - Yeah, me, too. - Yeah, I hate that guy. 00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:32.529 Screw him. 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:38.766 Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up. Question... 00:26:38.840 --> 00:26:41.923 How would you like to spend the first night of summer 00:26:42.000 --> 00:26:44.765 with a hardcore up-and-comer? 00:26:45.840 --> 00:26:47.046 What does that mean? 00:26:47.120 --> 00:26:48.610 I think he's asking you out. 00:26:48.680 --> 00:26:49.727 He is? 00:26:49.800 --> 00:26:51.370 You are? 00:26:51.440 --> 00:26:52.965 I don't make stuff up. 00:26:53.040 --> 00:26:55.407 Well, can Donna come? 00:26:55.480 --> 00:26:57.403 Three's a crowd, McCloud. 00:26:57.480 --> 00:26:59.562 No, he didn't. Yes, he did. 00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:03.366 It's okay, Charlotte. It's a date, your first date. 00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:04.566 Just you two. 00:27:06.560 --> 00:27:08.130 All right. I mean, 00:27:08.200 --> 00:27:09.929 I'd have to ask my parents, 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:12.526 but I think that would be okay. 00:27:12.600 --> 00:27:13.601 Hey, Bumpty. 00:27:13.680 --> 00:27:16.126 You think just because it's the last day of school, 00:27:16.200 --> 00:27:19.283 you can sit and socialize the entire period? 00:27:19.360 --> 00:27:22.443 I don't think about stuff like that, Lady Shorts. 00:27:22.520 --> 00:27:23.726 Well, can you think fast? 00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:29.006 Who wants to watch me climb a rope? 00:27:29.080 --> 00:27:32.402 Yeah! 00:27:34.080 --> 00:27:35.081 You're the man! 00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:40.121 Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs back in the basket. 00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:41.725 Dang! 00:27:41.800 --> 00:27:43.848 Kelly, I don't want to hear it! 00:27:44.040 --> 00:27:45.769 I can't take it anymore! 00:27:45.840 --> 00:27:48.002 I wish I never had you! 00:27:48.080 --> 00:27:49.764 Stop it! Stop it! 00:27:49.840 --> 00:27:51.808 See, that's why I don't want four kids. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:54.244 - Yeah, people with four just lose their minds. - Yeah. 00:27:54.360 --> 00:27:55.600 They're yelling, they're screaming. 00:27:55.680 --> 00:27:57.762 Sometimes they go to jail just to get some sleep. 00:27:57.840 --> 00:28:00.286 Hold up. Hang on. 00:28:00.360 --> 00:28:01.600 I got a burpsnart coming. 00:28:05.440 --> 00:28:07.886 - Come on. - You got to teach me how you do that. 00:28:07.960 --> 00:28:09.450 - A burpsnart? It's simple. - Yeah. 00:28:09.520 --> 00:28:11.170 You just start with a burp, 00:28:11.240 --> 00:28:13.049 then you sniff for a sneeze, you get that going, 00:28:13.120 --> 00:28:14.326 and that triggers a fart, always. 00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:16.641 What's up with this school bus? 00:28:16.720 --> 00:28:19.644 Okay. I stole it. 00:28:19.760 --> 00:28:21.967 What? Put your hands in the air. 00:28:23.880 --> 00:28:27.362 And wave them like you just don't care "ho" 00:28:28.440 --> 00:28:29.441 "ho" 00:28:31.120 --> 00:28:33.168 I heard you're having a party tonight, Lenny. 00:28:33.240 --> 00:28:35.322 What? I'm not having a party. 00:28:35.440 --> 00:28:36.487 Where did you hear that? 00:28:36.560 --> 00:28:39.086 He's a cop. He hears everything. 00:28:39.160 --> 00:28:40.161 Oh, God. 00:28:40.280 --> 00:28:41.964 Look, it's Magnum P.U. 00:28:42.040 --> 00:28:44.160 Look at him getting all serious. I still can't believe 00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:47.044 you're a cop after all the sick stuff you did growing up. 00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:49.731 The Peter Dante who stole your parents' snowmobile 00:28:49.800 --> 00:28:52.644 and sold it to purchase crack cocaine is dead, Feder. 00:28:52.720 --> 00:28:54.404 This side of the law is way better. 00:28:54.480 --> 00:28:57.006 To serve and protect. Got to love it. 00:28:57.080 --> 00:28:59.321 Hey, McKenzie, I heard you assaulted somebody in there. 00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:02.563 I didn't assault anybody. I just choked out your brother. 00:29:02.640 --> 00:29:05.803 Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy. 00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:08.690 We got five minutes to get to that stupid recital. 00:29:08.760 --> 00:29:10.842 Recital? 00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:13.161 - At McDonough Elementary? - Yes. 00:29:13.240 --> 00:29:15.322 - Can I come? - Why? 00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:17.602 Trust me. Everybody's got to go. 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:19.409 We got five minutes. We're never gonna make it there. 00:29:19.480 --> 00:29:20.606 You'll get there on time, 00:29:20.680 --> 00:29:23.968 'cause we're gonna give you a four-alarm presidential police escort. 00:29:24.040 --> 00:29:25.280 Isn't that against the law? 00:29:25.360 --> 00:29:27.044 I am the law! 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:30.528 What's happening? 00:29:45.640 --> 00:29:47.688 Oh, my God! What just happened? 00:29:53.320 --> 00:29:58.281 Welcome, parents, to final performance of school year, 00:29:58.400 --> 00:29:59.401 our June-a-licious 00:29:59.480 --> 00:30:01.767 Dance Spectacular! 00:30:06.640 --> 00:30:08.085 Now, for this year, 00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:09.929 we go throwing a few 00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:11.445 hip-hop moves in there. 00:30:11.520 --> 00:30:13.522 Like this. 00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:22.491 Is fun to dance. 00:30:22.560 --> 00:30:25.040 Let the show begin. 00:30:28.360 --> 00:30:33.127 So nice of you to invite your friends and the bus driver 00:30:33.200 --> 00:30:36.124 and the police force to our daughter's dance recital. 00:30:36.200 --> 00:30:40.603 Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them. 00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:05.050 She's so cute. 00:31:05.120 --> 00:31:06.640 - So cute. - She's adorable, isn't she? 00:31:06.680 --> 00:31:07.966 She is adorable. 00:31:08.040 --> 00:31:09.610 - Fantastic stuff. - Unbelievable. 00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:11.290 - Look at her go. - I am. 00:31:11.360 --> 00:31:13.283 I'm looking at her. 00:31:24.520 --> 00:31:28.525 I want to arrest her for disturbing the peace. 00:31:28.600 --> 00:31:30.602 In my pants. 00:31:39.280 --> 00:31:42.090 I'm having a wonderful time. 00:31:46.680 --> 00:31:48.648 She's got a solo? 00:31:53.360 --> 00:31:54.600 What? 00:32:04.040 --> 00:32:08.125 It's fine. I just wish that you would give me more than eight hours notice 00:32:08.200 --> 00:32:10.328 before you tell me that we're throwing a party, babe. 00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:11.765 It's not a party. Get out of here. 00:32:11.840 --> 00:32:13.285 - It's a couple people coming by. - Come on. 00:32:13.360 --> 00:32:14.725 How'd you like it? 00:32:14.800 --> 00:32:16.529 - You were great, honey. - Hey! 00:32:16.600 --> 00:32:18.523 Where did you learn to dance like that? 00:32:18.600 --> 00:32:20.523 She moves like "Yagger," no? 00:32:20.600 --> 00:32:22.364 Yes, she does, she moves like... 00:32:22.440 --> 00:32:23.930 Mick Yagger? Is that what you were saying? 00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:26.241 Hey, butter buns, you ready to grab some eats? 00:32:26.320 --> 00:32:28.243 Yes. 00:32:28.320 --> 00:32:29.924 Cavanaugh. 00:32:30.000 --> 00:32:32.321 Lenny Feder, I'll be damned. 00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:35.643 Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh. 00:32:35.720 --> 00:32:37.529 He was my old steroid that I grew up with. 00:32:37.640 --> 00:32:38.641 This is my... 00:32:38.720 --> 00:32:40.768 Wife, Roxanne. 00:32:40.840 --> 00:32:42.490 Why are your hands shaking, Daddy? 00:32:42.560 --> 00:32:43.766 My hands are shaking? 00:32:43.840 --> 00:32:45.490 Probably because I 00:32:45.560 --> 00:32:47.801 had too much coffee this morning, sweetheart. 00:32:47.880 --> 00:32:50.451 I heard you been running around saying you could take me in a fight. 00:32:50.520 --> 00:32:52.682 You... I wouldn't say that. 00:32:52.760 --> 00:32:54.569 Yeah, you did, this morning in Kmart. 00:32:54.640 --> 00:32:56.324 Kmart? Was I there? 00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:58.368 - I don't think I was there. - You know, 00:32:58.440 --> 00:32:59.805 all I can remember about this guy 00:32:59.880 --> 00:33:01.723 is smacking him around whenever I wanted to, 00:33:01.800 --> 00:33:03.723 and him not doing a single thing about it. 00:33:03.800 --> 00:33:07.168 Yeah, we had a lot of good times like that growing up. 00:33:07.240 --> 00:33:10.084 Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy? Are you crying? 00:33:10.160 --> 00:33:12.208 You don't stop talking, do you? 00:33:12.280 --> 00:33:14.123 Honey, we should be getting going. 00:33:14.200 --> 00:33:15.326 Sure, baby. 00:33:15.400 --> 00:33:17.520 I want you to stop making up lies about kicking my ass 00:33:17.560 --> 00:33:18.971 or I'm gonna have to set you straight. 00:33:19.040 --> 00:33:20.280 Sure, sure, sure. 00:33:20.360 --> 00:33:22.124 I'll see you around. 00:33:22.200 --> 00:33:25.010 Becky, you be having great summer. 00:33:26.600 --> 00:33:28.489 I was one inch away 00:33:28.560 --> 00:33:30.847 from knocking that guy out, and I swear to God. 00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:31.921 No, you weren't. 00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:33.570 This is grown-up talk, 00:33:33.640 --> 00:33:35.085 so butt out! 00:33:36.960 --> 00:33:39.201 That's insane! What did you say to him? 00:33:39.280 --> 00:33:42.170 I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you speak to me like that again 00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:45.210 "in front of my wife and kid, I will brush your teeth with a brick." 00:33:45.280 --> 00:33:47.408 No, you didn't. You just yelled at me. 00:33:47.480 --> 00:33:49.403 - I don't yell at you! - Calm down. 00:33:49.480 --> 00:33:50.686 No, I'm just saying. 00:33:50.760 --> 00:33:52.125 You guys were in the bathroom. 00:33:52.280 --> 00:33:54.282 Look who's here, everybody. 00:33:54.360 --> 00:33:57.250 20 VOSS waters, right? 00:33:57.320 --> 00:33:59.209 - That's how they do it in Hollyweird. - I don't know. 00:33:59.280 --> 00:34:02.602 We haven't lived there in, what, 10 months now or something? 00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:06.122 As a matter of fact, our son starts work here tonight. 00:34:06.200 --> 00:34:08.726 I know. I heard you brown-nosed Mr. Pappas 00:34:08.800 --> 00:34:11.121 and now Showbiz Junior's got a job. 00:34:11.199 --> 00:34:13.726 I used to scoop cones here, and why shouldn't he? 00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:15.643 It's a great first job for a kid. 00:34:17.080 --> 00:34:19.367 Or lifetime job. 00:34:19.520 --> 00:34:21.248 Okay, what are we having? 00:34:21.320 --> 00:34:22.481 Becky, what do you want, hon? 00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:25.041 Can I have the soft chocolate cup, please? 00:34:25.120 --> 00:34:27.851 Here's a word you probably never heard, no. 00:34:27.960 --> 00:34:29.291 The machine's busted, princess. 00:34:29.600 --> 00:34:32.603 Bummer, it's broken? Like all your dreams? 00:34:33.639 --> 00:34:35.641 You know what, it's easy to fix. I can help you with that. 00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:38.081 What do you know about fixing ice cream machines, Higgins? 00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:40.367 I went to DeVry for a year. 00:34:40.440 --> 00:34:42.726 - That's right. - I can fix anything with a plug. 00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:43.926 Including your hair? 00:34:44.000 --> 00:34:46.400 That's not true. I don't even know how that got started. 00:34:46.520 --> 00:34:48.090 That's, like, people are saying that around town. 00:34:48.159 --> 00:34:49.286 I'll walk you through it. 00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:51.601 You just walk up, climb up the machine, lean over the back. 00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:53.360 Can't believe I'm listening to this idiot. 00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:54.400 Listen to the man. 00:34:54.480 --> 00:34:55.606 You're gonna see 00:34:55.679 --> 00:34:56.726 two pipes coming into the top. 00:34:56.800 --> 00:34:58.450 - Yes! - In between them, 00:34:58.520 --> 00:34:59.931 there's gonna be a silver button. 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:01.001 Hit it a little bit. 00:35:01.080 --> 00:35:02.127 Push hard. 00:35:02.200 --> 00:35:04.009 No. Hit it with your fist. 00:35:04.120 --> 00:35:05.770 Yeah, just push the button. 00:35:05.840 --> 00:35:07.444 - I got it. - There we go! 00:35:07.520 --> 00:35:09.045 I think we're getting somewhere. 00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:10.360 Okay, keep going. Yeah, that... 00:35:11.200 --> 00:35:12.281 Force it. That's it. 00:35:15.320 --> 00:35:17.607 Hey! Why is Dickie crapping all over the ice cream stand? 00:35:17.680 --> 00:35:18.647 What'd she say? 00:35:18.760 --> 00:35:20.967 - Nothing! Nothing! - Go! Just go! 00:35:22.880 --> 00:35:24.962 Go, Dickie! 00:35:25.040 --> 00:35:27.964 That's where ice cream comes from? 00:35:28.040 --> 00:35:34.400 And so we've reached the end of another school year. 00:35:35.560 --> 00:35:37.801 Froot Loop? 00:35:37.880 --> 00:35:38.881 Ten months 00:35:38.960 --> 00:35:41.930 of learning, growth 00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:43.729 and, yes, hopefully, 00:35:43.800 --> 00:35:45.962 a little bit of fun. 00:35:46.080 --> 00:35:50.404 But the journey we began together, in September, 00:35:50.560 --> 00:35:53.006 does not end today. 00:35:53.080 --> 00:35:56.050 For education is a process 00:35:56.120 --> 00:36:00.603 that does not begin and end on some set schedule... 00:36:02.240 --> 00:36:05.050 Please let me finish. Return to your seats. 00:36:07.240 --> 00:36:08.321 Damn you! 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:09.890 Every year, you do this to me! 00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:13.601 And this was my favorite shirt from when I was 12! 00:36:13.680 --> 00:36:15.409 How you doing, sophomore? 00:36:15.480 --> 00:36:16.891 Not bad, sophomore. 00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:17.961 Come here! 00:36:25.280 --> 00:36:27.521 Hey, you're not a statue. 00:36:27.600 --> 00:36:29.364 You' re an ass-me. 00:36:30.120 --> 00:36:31.849 Doesn't even make any sense. 00:36:31.960 --> 00:36:33.166 Shut up! 00:36:35.400 --> 00:36:37.209 What? What? What? 00:36:37.280 --> 00:36:40.045 Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! 00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:45.691 What's up, man? 00:36:45.760 --> 00:36:46.841 Your dad picking you up? 00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:49.570 I don't know. 00:36:49.640 --> 00:36:51.881 I told him it'd be cool if he stayed late at the soup kitchen, 00:36:51.960 --> 00:36:53.724 so it's on me. 00:36:53.800 --> 00:36:56.326 Well, you can come on the bus with us, if you want. 00:36:56.440 --> 00:36:58.408 Nah, how about we do something fun? 00:36:59.320 --> 00:37:02.369 How about we do something we're not supposed to? 00:37:04.360 --> 00:37:05.771 "Keep out." 00:37:05.840 --> 00:37:08.320 That just makes me want to not keep out. 00:37:08.600 --> 00:37:11.570 Heard our dads used to come swimming here, back in the day. 00:37:11.640 --> 00:37:15.690 They claim to be all squeaky clean, but I think they were nuts. 00:37:27.480 --> 00:37:28.925 College kids. 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:30.684 We better go. 00:37:31.240 --> 00:37:33.402 No go. 00:37:33.520 --> 00:37:34.851 Stay. 00:37:45.200 --> 00:37:47.089 He's nuts. 00:37:47.200 --> 00:37:48.281 Let's go. 00:37:48.360 --> 00:37:49.441 Hey! 00:37:49.520 --> 00:37:50.965 Where are you guys going? 00:37:51.080 --> 00:37:53.890 Join the party. 00:37:54.520 --> 00:37:56.363 Here. One and two. 00:37:58.080 --> 00:38:00.003 Are you guys freshmen? 00:38:00.080 --> 00:38:01.809 No. We're seniors. 00:38:01.880 --> 00:38:04.451 We just became seniors, like, 20 minutes ago. 00:38:04.520 --> 00:38:06.682 Not high school seniors, college seniors. 00:38:06.760 --> 00:38:08.330 Wait a minute! 00:38:08.400 --> 00:38:10.129 I remember you guys. 00:38:10.200 --> 00:38:11.964 You're Scully. 00:38:12.040 --> 00:38:14.008 You're Boomer. 00:38:14.720 --> 00:38:16.245 Come here. 00:38:16.320 --> 00:38:17.765 I love you guys so much. 00:38:17.840 --> 00:38:20.366 - I love you, too. - Girl, I love you more. 00:38:20.440 --> 00:38:21.965 I'm gonna go. 00:38:22.040 --> 00:38:24.042 Body shots! 00:38:24.400 --> 00:38:26.084 No go. 00:38:26.160 --> 00:38:27.127 Stay. 00:38:27.240 --> 00:38:29.641 Okay, okay. But what about these beers, man? 00:38:29.720 --> 00:38:33.040 If we don't drink them, they'll be onto us, and I'm not sure I'm ready for beer yet. 00:38:33.080 --> 00:38:36.004 Wait, let's just dump them when no one's looking, 00:38:36.080 --> 00:38:37.241 then act like we're drunk. 00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:38.731 Okay. Good idea. 00:38:38.800 --> 00:38:40.484 All right, let's go. 00:38:46.120 --> 00:38:47.849 Summertime. 00:38:47.920 --> 00:38:50.844 You're sure you want to do this, big man? No shame in backing down. 00:38:50.920 --> 00:38:51.887 - Really? - Come on! 00:38:51.960 --> 00:38:53.007 Come on. 00:38:53.080 --> 00:38:54.764 It's a lifelong shame. 00:38:54.840 --> 00:38:57.320 You're finally doing Suicide 35. It's a big day. 00:38:57.400 --> 00:38:58.526 What are you scared of, man? 00:38:58.600 --> 00:39:01.524 You're the "rope from the tree, triple flip, bird-crush" guy. 00:39:01.600 --> 00:39:03.921 I'm not scared of this. In the past, I did it before. 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:05.081 But I'll do it right now. 00:39:05.160 --> 00:39:06.161 Sure. Sure. Go ahead. 00:39:06.280 --> 00:39:08.328 Do it. Do it. 00:39:09.600 --> 00:39:11.728 But the thing is this, I just... 00:39:11.800 --> 00:39:13.370 I ate about 45 minutes ago. 00:39:13.440 --> 00:39:14.680 What did you eat? 00:39:14.760 --> 00:39:16.046 I had chicken chow mein. 00:39:16.120 --> 00:39:17.929 Chicken chow mein? When did... 00:39:18.040 --> 00:39:19.451 We were with you the whole time! 00:39:19.520 --> 00:39:21.321 Yeah. You didn't see it? They had it at Kmart. 00:39:21.360 --> 00:39:22.691 - They have chicken chow... - Get out of here. 00:39:22.760 --> 00:39:24.046 - It's good there. Yeah. - It's very good. 00:39:24.120 --> 00:39:25.406 What do I hear right now? 00:39:26.680 --> 00:39:27.886 Look at this. 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:31.806 Beers on ice. Hot ladies everywhere. 00:39:31.880 --> 00:39:34.008 This is how we used to do it. 00:39:34.080 --> 00:39:36.765 - This is how I still do it, buddy. - He does still do it that way. 00:39:36.840 --> 00:39:38.171 Well, you should stop. 00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:41.362 This is Kappa Eta Sigma property. 00:39:42.480 --> 00:39:43.970 So you might want to quit perving on our ladies 00:39:44.040 --> 00:39:46.042 and get back to your trailer homes. 00:39:46.120 --> 00:39:48.407 Okay, easy there, Abercrombie. 00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:50.005 I think it's... 00:39:50.080 --> 00:39:51.969 I think we've been around a little longer than you. 00:39:52.040 --> 00:39:53.644 Been swimming here since we were eight years old, 00:39:53.720 --> 00:39:55.484 so you can calm down a little bit. 00:39:55.640 --> 00:39:57.290 I'm sure it was the bomb! 00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:00.444 Cranking your Al Jolson tunes on your transistor radio. 00:40:00.520 --> 00:40:02.568 But it's the 21st century now. 00:40:02.720 --> 00:40:04.563 And Thicky-Thick and the Flabby Bunch 00:40:04.640 --> 00:40:06.608 should never take their shirts off again. 00:40:06.680 --> 00:40:08.762 - That hurts. - Okay, I guess I'm Thicky-Thick. 00:40:08.840 --> 00:40:10.888 Yeah, well, I don't like being in the Flabby Bunch, either. 00:40:10.960 --> 00:40:13.566 Boom! That just happened. 00:40:13.680 --> 00:40:16.445 I haven't been around this many arrogant white college kids 00:40:16.520 --> 00:40:18.045 since Eminem played Duke. 00:40:18.120 --> 00:40:19.565 There it goes. And then... 00:40:19.640 --> 00:40:20.801 Boom! 00:40:20.880 --> 00:40:22.450 That just happened. How was that? 00:40:22.520 --> 00:40:25.763 At least we got into college, skinny Danny Glover. 00:40:32.400 --> 00:40:34.241 - Long handjob. - That's Rock, Paper, Scissors. 00:40:37.120 --> 00:40:38.645 I think it's over. 00:40:38.720 --> 00:40:40.290 - Hey, hey, hey! - What, what, what? 00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:41.566 What? 00:40:42.880 --> 00:40:44.325 And a little extra right there. 00:40:44.400 --> 00:40:47.449 Hey, fellows, that was a good handshake. We got a good one, too. it goes like this. 00:40:47.520 --> 00:40:49.124 - Okay, here we go. - How you doing, sir? 00:40:49.200 --> 00:40:51.009 Nice to see you. Very good, sir. 00:40:51.080 --> 00:40:52.525 - Beautiful day. - Yeah, at least we're not stuck 00:40:52.600 --> 00:40:56.161 in some crap town like this, hanging up drywall for the rest of our lives. 00:40:56.240 --> 00:40:57.844 Bay-com! 00:40:57.920 --> 00:40:59.251 Hanging drywall? First of all, 00:40:59.320 --> 00:41:00.731 I'll have you know that I own pretty much 00:41:00.800 --> 00:41:02.802 the greatest auto body shop in town, all right? 00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:04.723 This guy works for the cable company. 00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:06.006 Free cable for life. 00:41:06.080 --> 00:41:07.206 What? 00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:08.691 Over here, you know Higgins? 00:41:08.760 --> 00:41:11.161 That's right, he works part-time down at the go-kart track. 00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:13.601 So he was highballing you with the drywall. 00:41:15.280 --> 00:41:16.850 Boom! 00:41:18.440 --> 00:41:20.010 This just got real. 00:41:20.120 --> 00:41:22.407 - Real stupid? What happened? - Something's real. 00:41:30.120 --> 00:41:32.327 - Yeah... - Dougie, Dougie... 00:41:32.400 --> 00:41:34.846 Are you guys as wasted as us? 00:41:34.920 --> 00:41:37.810 Hells, yeah! All the time! 00:41:39.520 --> 00:41:43.286 Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue your Klan meeting in a minute. 00:41:43.360 --> 00:41:45.840 He's just gonna jump off of here, and then we'll leave. 00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:49.365 I can't permit that. 00:41:49.440 --> 00:41:51.124 I can't permit it! 00:41:51.200 --> 00:41:53.089 Can't permit it. 00:41:53.160 --> 00:41:56.084 You guys have ruined our celebration by being here. 00:41:56.200 --> 00:41:58.521 Look at my hands, huh? 00:41:58.600 --> 00:41:59.965 They're shaking, I'm so mad. 00:42:00.040 --> 00:42:01.644 Yeah, look, my brother's shaking. 00:42:05.440 --> 00:42:07.283 - That was a cool move. - Now, listen to me. 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:09.203 I'm gonna kick this kid's ass. 00:42:09.280 --> 00:42:11.647 But I need, like, 11 to 15 minutes to stretch out, okay? 00:42:11.720 --> 00:42:12.881 I got to stretch. It's overlooked. 00:42:12.960 --> 00:42:14.485 No, I understand. 00:42:14.560 --> 00:42:16.210 I can't fight these kids. I'm skinny Danny Glover. 00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:20.126 Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips behind you for some unknown reason. 00:42:21.800 --> 00:42:24.963 We got kids, we can't afford to do this. 00:42:25.040 --> 00:42:26.724 Buddy, dude, you don't have to do that last flip. 00:42:26.800 --> 00:42:28.928 Don't, like, get hurt. 00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:30.206 We'll come back another time. 00:42:30.280 --> 00:42:31.566 You will come back never! 00:42:31.640 --> 00:42:33.722 This is Kappa Eta Sigma property! 00:42:33.800 --> 00:42:36.087 Dude, why are you acting so crazy? 00:42:36.160 --> 00:42:39.050 Did Betty White just call you crazy? 00:42:39.160 --> 00:42:40.286 - Did he just call you Betty White? - Betty White? 00:42:40.360 --> 00:42:41.361 That's pretty funny. 00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:42.805 We've got a situation! 00:42:54.160 --> 00:42:55.571 You know what? Hey, guys? Guys? 00:42:55.640 --> 00:42:57.210 - Hey, what's up, guys? - Let's get out of here. 00:42:57.280 --> 00:42:58.441 Listen, it's nice to meet everybody. 00:42:58.520 --> 00:43:00.761 - We're gonna take off, but let's do this again. - Take care, guys. 00:43:00.840 --> 00:43:02.171 - Enjoy yourself. - Not that way. 00:43:02.240 --> 00:43:04.561 Is there an elevator? 00:43:06.080 --> 00:43:07.969 That way. 00:43:08.640 --> 00:43:12.531 Come on, are you serious? You gonna make us jump? 00:43:13.000 --> 00:43:15.002 Naked. 00:43:15.760 --> 00:43:17.967 Asshole. 00:43:25.160 --> 00:43:27.208 You guys are losers. 00:43:35.680 --> 00:43:38.206 Don't worry, it gets bigger. 00:43:43.200 --> 00:43:45.168 That poor old lady! 00:43:47.440 --> 00:43:48.930 Rm Paralyzed! 00:43:49.000 --> 00:43:51.287 I'm in so much pain! 00:43:51.360 --> 00:43:53.249 Mama! 00:43:56.200 --> 00:43:58.328 No! 00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:06.249 I was inside you! 00:44:12.640 --> 00:44:16.565 I can't believe nobody's even scared of a black guy anymore! 00:44:16.640 --> 00:44:18.768 Damn you, Obama! 00:44:18.840 --> 00:44:21.889 What the hell just happened? 00:44:21.960 --> 00:44:24.566 I saw my dad's dick. 00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:45.731 Well, the good news is Lamonsoff finally did the jump for real. 00:44:45.800 --> 00:44:48.007 And the bad news is he landed on my face. 00:44:48.120 --> 00:44:50.168 What are you, made of rocks, dude? 00:44:50.240 --> 00:44:52.686 Check this out, feel this. I'm not kidding you. 00:44:52.760 --> 00:44:54.046 Right up here. 00:44:54.120 --> 00:44:55.087 I think even higher. 00:44:55.160 --> 00:44:56.161 - Feel that. - And? 00:44:56.240 --> 00:44:57.401 Put your hand right there. 00:44:57.480 --> 00:44:59.209 Feel the other one. Those are my balls. 00:44:59.280 --> 00:45:01.123 I'm not kidding you, they went way up in there. 00:45:01.200 --> 00:45:02.361 You're getting me turned on. 00:45:02.440 --> 00:45:04.522 Are you kidding me? 00:45:04.600 --> 00:45:05.647 What? 00:45:05.720 --> 00:45:07.051 They slashed our tires! 00:45:07.120 --> 00:45:08.531 These kids won't stop abusing us! 00:45:08.640 --> 00:45:09.766 Damn you! 00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:12.964 This wasn't college kids. 00:45:13.040 --> 00:45:15.646 It was my son, Satan. 00:45:16.000 --> 00:45:18.128 And why is this kid so angry? 00:45:18.200 --> 00:45:21.170 His mom hiccupped a lot, but she was happy! And hot. 00:45:21.400 --> 00:45:23.402 If she's so hot, 00:45:23.480 --> 00:45:26.165 why don't you make her your late-night booty call? 00:45:26.240 --> 00:45:28.766 Beefcakes! Come on, baby! 00:45:31.960 --> 00:45:34.804 You've been sneaking around with Fabio? 00:45:34.880 --> 00:45:37.326 It's not funny, dude! She's gonna kick the crap out of me later! 00:45:37.400 --> 00:45:40.085 Wow. 00:45:40.160 --> 00:45:42.481 - A little five-hour Energy, huh? - Yeah. 00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:45.890 500-hour Energy? 00:45:45.960 --> 00:45:47.405 I drink it for the taste, okay? 00:45:47.480 --> 00:45:50.563 Oh, my God, you gonna jog to Florida after this? 00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:55.361 No! 00:45:55.480 --> 00:45:56.686 A bonus! 00:45:56.760 --> 00:45:58.524 Come on, just cram yourself in there. 00:45:58.600 --> 00:46:01.604 My body, it's just too big for this thing. I can't fit. 00:46:01.680 --> 00:46:03.921 Higgins, dummy, hop in this thing for a minute. 00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:06.287 - For what? - Just get in the tire. 00:46:06.360 --> 00:46:08.283 - No way! In there? - Five yards we'll roll you. 00:46:08.360 --> 00:46:10.727 We've done it. I would do it if I could get in there. 00:46:10.800 --> 00:46:12.450 This is peer pressure, you're bullying. 00:46:12.520 --> 00:46:15.091 And I promise you I'll stop you and I love you. 00:46:15.160 --> 00:46:17.242 Don't let him do it. He's jacked up on juice. 00:46:17.320 --> 00:46:19.368 And a-one, and a-two... 00:46:19.440 --> 00:46:21.522 - Mommy's got you. - ...and a-three! 00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:24.290 - Okay, five feet. Grab me. - Y'ello. 00:46:24.360 --> 00:46:25.964 - Lenny! - Hey, Keithie. 00:46:26.040 --> 00:46:28.247 Meet me at the football field, but don't tell your mother. 00:46:28.320 --> 00:46:29.970 Why am I still rolling? 00:46:30.040 --> 00:46:31.644 Lenny! 00:46:31.720 --> 00:46:33.370 Help! 00:46:33.440 --> 00:46:35.090 Guys, get me! 00:46:35.160 --> 00:46:37.481 - Hang in there! - I'm going downhill! 00:46:37.560 --> 00:46:38.641 Lenny! No! No! 00:46:40.320 --> 00:46:42.971 When will it end? 00:46:47.520 --> 00:46:50.285 Yeah. Summer is here, man! 00:46:56.040 --> 00:46:59.203 Help! Stop! No! 00:47:01.160 --> 00:47:02.161 Tire on the loose! 00:47:02.240 --> 00:47:03.730 Fluzoo, shotgun, now! 00:47:06.760 --> 00:47:07.841 Someone! 00:47:07.920 --> 00:47:09.570 Higgins is in the tire! 00:47:09.680 --> 00:47:11.011 Of course. 00:47:11.080 --> 00:47:12.684 - Help! - Get there! 00:47:12.760 --> 00:47:14.250 Help! 00:47:14.320 --> 00:47:16.402 - Liar! - No, no, baby! 00:47:17.560 --> 00:47:20.848 No! No! Someone! 00:47:31.080 --> 00:47:33.162 Shaw's over, tire. 00:47:46.280 --> 00:47:47.327 I'm next. 00:47:47.400 --> 00:47:49.084 - I got next! - No, I'm next! 00:47:51.920 --> 00:47:53.160 It's my tire! My turn! 00:47:53.240 --> 00:47:55.004 Hey! 00:47:55.080 --> 00:47:56.809 What happened? 00:47:57.240 --> 00:47:58.526 I got a phone call. 00:47:59.960 --> 00:48:02.531 Okay. I forgive you. 00:48:02.600 --> 00:48:04.807 Was it long-distance or something? 00:48:04.880 --> 00:48:06.848 Don't want to kick a guy while he's down, Higgins, 00:48:06.920 --> 00:48:09.127 but we caught your son with a can of spray paint 00:48:09.240 --> 00:48:11.208 looking like he was up to no good. 00:48:11.280 --> 00:48:13.886 You lied about the soup. 00:48:13.960 --> 00:48:16.406 You lied about the soup! 00:48:30.920 --> 00:48:35.369 We are gonna find those fartheads, 00:48:35.760 --> 00:48:38.127 and we are gonna kill them. 00:48:38.360 --> 00:48:39.930 Kill! 00:48:40.000 --> 00:48:43.641 Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! 00:48:47.480 --> 00:48:50.563 No, guys! Not each other! 00:48:50.640 --> 00:48:53.450 We're not killing each other! 00:48:53.600 --> 00:48:56.570 K-E-I-T 00:48:56.640 --> 00:48:59.450 H-I-E. 00:48:59.520 --> 00:49:01.682 Keithie, Keithie, Keithie! 00:49:01.760 --> 00:49:05.128 It's a practice, Donna. You don't have to go full speed. 00:49:05.200 --> 00:49:06.440 Sorry, Mr. Feder. 00:49:06.520 --> 00:49:07.646 It's fine! 00:49:07.720 --> 00:49:10.200 Hey, look at these giant mooses out there. 00:49:13.720 --> 00:49:15.802 You don't want to get in the middle of all that. 00:49:15.880 --> 00:49:19.441 Plus, the kicker, honestly, is like, one of the most important guys on the team 00:49:19.560 --> 00:49:22.484 and you don't have to worry about getting your head bashed in every play. 00:49:22.560 --> 00:49:24.483 I get it, Dad. I'm a wimp. 00:49:24.560 --> 00:49:25.641 You're not a wimp. 00:49:25.720 --> 00:49:26.926 It's just common sense. 00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:28.843 Avoid big idiots trying to hurt you. 00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:32.330 I was trying to avoid a big idiot trying to hurt me on the bus this morning, 00:49:32.400 --> 00:49:33.731 but he wouldn't leave me alone. 00:49:33.800 --> 00:49:35.723 Well, sometimes they won't let you avoid them, 00:49:35.800 --> 00:49:38.326 and you just... You can't back down in those situations. 00:49:38.400 --> 00:49:40.368 I'm telling you, I've backed down a few times, 00:49:40.440 --> 00:49:41.566 it's not a good feeling. 00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:43.529 All right, look, let's just kick a few field goals. 00:49:43.600 --> 00:49:45.284 It's like soccer, which you're great at. 00:49:45.360 --> 00:49:48.204 All you got to do is put your foot right through the ball. 00:49:51.400 --> 00:49:52.367 What? 00:49:52.440 --> 00:49:53.646 Touchdown! Yeah! 00:49:53.760 --> 00:49:55.364 Yeah! 00:49:55.440 --> 00:49:57.522 That's ridiculous! Your first try? 00:49:57.640 --> 00:49:59.608 All right, we're backing up, boy. 00:49:59.680 --> 00:50:02.251 That was totally awesome, Keithie! That was so cool! 00:50:02.320 --> 00:50:04.607 That was just, like, awesome! 00:50:04.760 --> 00:50:06.569 Okay, drive through the ball. 00:50:06.640 --> 00:50:08.210 Drive through the ball. 00:50:10.280 --> 00:50:11.327 It's up! 00:50:11.760 --> 00:50:14.366 Yeah! Go, Keithie! 00:50:14.440 --> 00:50:17.410 Yes! What did you eat this morning? 00:50:17.480 --> 00:50:21.121 All right, this is starting to get into, like, college level. 00:50:21.200 --> 00:50:22.645 From the 30! 00:50:22.720 --> 00:50:24.404 Who the hell is this kid? 00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:31.885 Oh, my God! 00:50:31.960 --> 00:50:33.530 Stop! Keithie time! 00:50:35.800 --> 00:50:39.043 I'm starting to think she has a little crush on you. 00:50:39.120 --> 00:50:40.201 Really? 00:50:40.280 --> 00:50:42.851 Either that or she got bit by a poisonous spider. 00:50:42.920 --> 00:50:45.002 Keithie! 00:50:46.200 --> 00:50:49.170 All right, let's see how you do in a real game situation, though. 00:50:49.240 --> 00:50:51.686 Okay? Let's pretend I'm a linebacker, 00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:53.410 and I'm gonna come at you and try and block it. 00:50:53.480 --> 00:50:54.481 Okay. 00:50:54.560 --> 00:50:55.891 Set! 00:50:57.080 --> 00:50:59.003 Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker! 00:50:59.080 --> 00:51:00.081 Give me that football! 00:51:02.640 --> 00:51:04.324 My leg! 00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:05.640 Keithie! 00:51:05.720 --> 00:51:07.722 Don't tell your mother! 00:51:07.800 --> 00:51:11.168 All right, that kid's dead. Back to work. 00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:14.446 Now, you remember how to do a five-point turn, right? 00:51:14.520 --> 00:51:15.601 Yeah. 00:51:15.680 --> 00:51:17.569 - Parallel park? - Yeah, yeah. 00:51:17.640 --> 00:51:19.688 Hey, don't "yeah, yeah" me, dumb-ass. 00:51:19.760 --> 00:51:21.250 You're precious cargo. 00:51:21.320 --> 00:51:23.200 Now, if you mess around and get yourself killed, 00:51:23.280 --> 00:51:24.247 I'm gonna have to kill you. 00:51:24.320 --> 00:51:26.004 Look, Dad, I'm ready for this, all right? 00:51:27.960 --> 00:51:29.450 You're late. 00:51:30.680 --> 00:51:31.920 Hello, McKenzie. 00:51:32.000 --> 00:51:33.684 Hey, Wiley, how you feeling? 00:51:36.160 --> 00:51:37.924 Just two years of this. 00:51:38.000 --> 00:51:41.083 And I still only have 40% feeling in my body. 00:51:41.200 --> 00:51:43.123 Otherwise, I'm fine. 00:51:43.200 --> 00:51:44.929 No, Rihanna's fine. 00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:46.525 You just teach driver's ed. 00:51:47.680 --> 00:51:49.125 Get her done, son! 00:51:49.200 --> 00:51:51.407 And remember everything we talked about! 00:51:51.480 --> 00:51:52.720 Defensive driving! 00:51:52.800 --> 00:51:53.961 Stop at all yellows! 00:51:54.040 --> 00:51:55.121 Obey the laws! 00:51:56.200 --> 00:51:58.646 - You moron! - Look out! 00:51:58.760 --> 00:52:01.684 Be safe! Don't do what I just did! 00:52:02.400 --> 00:52:04.641 Hey, officers, you guys want to stick around 00:52:04.720 --> 00:52:06.404 and have a drink with me, hang out a little bit? 00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:08.767 You're afraid of us leaving you alone with your son, aren't you? 00:52:08.840 --> 00:52:10.888 My son... Are you kidding me? I don't care... 00:52:10.960 --> 00:52:13.088 - Boo! - He's got a knife! 00:52:13.720 --> 00:52:16.849 That sounds dangerous. How far was the drop? 00:52:16.920 --> 00:52:18.809 Just 35 feet. 00:52:18.880 --> 00:52:21.360 Who do you think you are, Tarzan? 00:52:21.440 --> 00:52:23.329 - It's no big deal. - Honey? 00:52:23.400 --> 00:52:25.164 Hi, Sally. 00:52:25.240 --> 00:52:27.004 Hi, honey. I... No, I just came to see 00:52:27.120 --> 00:52:28.201 if Mommy was alive. 00:52:28.280 --> 00:52:29.805 And looking now, 00:52:29.880 --> 00:52:31.166 she's breathing, she's good. 00:52:31.240 --> 00:52:32.844 Hi. What are you doing here? 00:52:32.960 --> 00:52:35.008 I was bringing your mother a new fan for the summer. 00:52:35.080 --> 00:52:36.320 - That's good. - You said you couldn't 00:52:36.400 --> 00:52:37.890 get coffee with me because you had 00:52:37.960 --> 00:52:40.850 a 3:30 appointment with a Mr. Renaldo. 00:52:40.920 --> 00:52:42.160 Hello, ladies! 00:52:42.240 --> 00:52:43.844 You! 00:52:43.920 --> 00:52:44.921 Can't be! 00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:47.241 We killed you. Last week. 00:52:47.320 --> 00:52:50.767 You actually think two amateurish nitwits 00:52:50.840 --> 00:52:54.083 could kill The Great Renaldo? 00:52:54.440 --> 00:52:55.771 I told you. 00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:58.923 You did. You called it. 00:53:03.320 --> 00:53:06.005 So the leg's not really broken, huh? 00:53:06.320 --> 00:53:08.561 No, it is broken, right here. 00:53:08.640 --> 00:53:11.325 Just a hairline fracture, though. 00:53:11.400 --> 00:53:13.164 No, it's a clean break. 00:53:13.240 --> 00:53:14.685 Slight, though. 00:53:14.760 --> 00:53:17.331 Slight? No. It's broken. 00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:20.085 Broken-broken or just broken? 00:53:20.160 --> 00:53:22.731 It's a broken leg. 00:53:22.800 --> 00:53:26.407 What was once one bone is now two half-bones. 00:53:26.480 --> 00:53:27.606 Right. 00:53:27.680 --> 00:53:32.288 Is there anything you can do about my wife staring at me? 00:53:34.280 --> 00:53:36.726 No, I'm not a psychiatrist. 00:53:36.800 --> 00:53:38.370 So you're saying my wife is crazy? 00:53:38.440 --> 00:53:40.010 No, no. I was joking. 00:53:40.080 --> 00:53:41.889 Like you were when you said his leg is broken. 00:53:41.960 --> 00:53:43.610 Look, your son 00:53:43.680 --> 00:53:46.923 is going to be wearing that cast the entire summer. 00:53:47.000 --> 00:53:50.891 If you don't mind, I haven't slept in 68 hours. 00:53:50.960 --> 00:53:53.247 So you're a little loopy from lack of sleep, 00:53:53.320 --> 00:53:54.890 and that really isn't my son's bone. 00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:56.923 That's a piece of celery you snapped. 00:53:57.000 --> 00:53:57.967 - Lenny! - Yes? 00:53:58.040 --> 00:53:59.565 The leg is broken! 00:54:03.200 --> 00:54:04.929 You can't undo this, 00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:08.243 and you lied to me, so you're gonna pay for it. 00:54:08.320 --> 00:54:12.928 Doctor, wouldn't it be nice if there was a cure for anger? 00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:14.081 There is. 00:54:14.160 --> 00:54:15.844 It's called Jack Daniel's. 00:54:16.880 --> 00:54:18.450 Another one of your jokes, huh? 00:54:18.520 --> 00:54:20.010 I Wish. 00:54:22.640 --> 00:54:24.640 Okay, the light is red now, so just remain stopped. 00:54:28.520 --> 00:54:30.045 Scully, is that you? 00:54:31.880 --> 00:54:33.166 Scully! 00:54:34.840 --> 00:54:36.604 Hey, what's up, fellas? 00:54:36.680 --> 00:54:39.126 Are you taking your driver's test drunk? 00:54:39.200 --> 00:54:41.282 Yeah, I'm MC Hammered! 00:54:41.360 --> 00:54:43.010 - You're a madman! - Psychopath, man! 00:54:43.080 --> 00:54:44.081 Hey, Scully, Scully. 00:54:44.160 --> 00:54:46.401 Have you seen those old townies from the quarry today? 00:54:46.480 --> 00:54:49.484 No, I can't say I did. Why? 00:54:49.560 --> 00:54:51.642 They disrespected our frat house! 00:54:51.720 --> 00:54:53.245 Man, they disrespected the crap out of it! 00:54:53.320 --> 00:54:54.890 No, can't have that. 00:54:57.160 --> 00:54:58.446 Brewski time, dude! 00:54:58.520 --> 00:54:59.965 It's not for you, Scully. 00:55:00.040 --> 00:55:01.804 It's for that freak in the hat next to you. 00:55:01.880 --> 00:55:03.006 Looks like he needs it. 00:55:03.080 --> 00:55:04.081 - Boom! - Yeah! 00:55:04.160 --> 00:55:05.491 That just happened! 00:55:05.560 --> 00:55:07.688 Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! 00:55:09.800 --> 00:55:13.486 Taking your driver's test while intoxicated? 00:55:15.080 --> 00:55:17.447 Minus five points. 00:55:26.040 --> 00:55:27.644 This is ridiculous! 00:55:27.760 --> 00:55:31.367 I've wasted an entire day waiting for this idiot to show up. 00:55:31.440 --> 00:55:34.125 Did you tell him your son-in-law works for the cable company? 00:55:34.200 --> 00:55:38.000 A fat lot of good being related to that bozo would do me. 00:55:38.080 --> 00:55:41.050 I'm gonna run to the bathroom. 00:55:41.120 --> 00:55:42.690 Love to the children. 00:55:49.080 --> 00:55:50.525 Yes. Yes. 00:55:57.120 --> 00:55:59.361 Damn it, I just sat down. 00:55:59.440 --> 00:56:01.522 I'll be right out there! 00:56:01.600 --> 00:56:02.681 Hang on! 00:56:02.760 --> 00:56:04.364 I'm coming as quick as I can. 00:56:04.440 --> 00:56:06.283 I got bunions, damn it! 00:56:14.040 --> 00:56:15.963 No! No! 00:56:16.040 --> 00:56:18.122 You burn in hell! 00:56:18.240 --> 00:56:20.049 You cable-installing mother... 00:56:20.120 --> 00:56:21.485 Damn it! 00:56:30.560 --> 00:56:31.561 Look, man, 00:56:31.640 --> 00:56:33.881 I know deadbeat dads always have lame excuses 00:56:33.960 --> 00:56:36.167 why they don't see their kids, 00:56:36.240 --> 00:56:39.687 but "I didn't know you existed till about a week ago" 00:56:39.760 --> 00:56:41.808 is actually a fantastic excuse. 00:56:41.880 --> 00:56:43.405 So can you cut me some slack? 00:56:43.480 --> 00:56:45.244 Her name's not Hiccups McGee. 00:56:45.320 --> 00:56:47.049 Yeah, I know that. 00:56:47.120 --> 00:56:48.724 So why do you call her that? 00:56:48.840 --> 00:56:51.366 No, that's just... It's stupid. 00:56:51.440 --> 00:56:55.240 It's just kind of a nickname I give people that, 00:56:55.320 --> 00:56:58.767 you know, have a distinct trait or physical feature. 00:56:58.840 --> 00:57:02.322 Like, if someone had big lips, you'd call them Lippy McGee. 00:57:02.400 --> 00:57:04.926 And if they sneezed a lot, you'd call them Sneezy McGee. 00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:07.924 So you'd be Ugly McGee. 00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:10.162 I'd be Ugly McGee. Exactly. 00:57:10.280 --> 00:57:11.566 Shorty McGee. 00:57:11.640 --> 00:57:12.607 Shorty McGee, sure. 00:57:12.680 --> 00:57:13.920 Viagra McGee. 00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:15.480 Right, right. You get it, you get it. 00:57:15.560 --> 00:57:17.449 Listen, man, 00:57:17.520 --> 00:57:20.091 I'm willing to give this a try if you are. 00:57:21.720 --> 00:57:24.451 You know what they say... Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery. 00:57:26.280 --> 00:57:31.241 Maybe we go inside and search the Internet for funny videos of squirrels waterskiing. 00:57:40.720 --> 00:57:42.927 Okay, we're getting somewhere. 00:57:43.400 --> 00:57:45.289 I'm sorry I lied about the appointment. 00:57:45.360 --> 00:57:47.408 The lying's not the worst part. 00:57:47.480 --> 00:57:49.562 You hid from me at your mother's house, Eric. 00:57:49.640 --> 00:57:50.971 Who does that? 00:57:51.040 --> 00:57:52.565 Look, she's nice to me. 00:57:52.880 --> 00:57:55.042 You know, she always takes my side, 00:57:55.120 --> 00:57:58.044 worries if I'm eating enough and taking my vitamins. 00:57:58.160 --> 00:58:00.208 I do all that stuff, too, Eric. 00:58:00.600 --> 00:58:02.443 Okay, I don't. 00:58:02.520 --> 00:58:03.806 You're right. 00:58:03.880 --> 00:58:05.484 You know, there's only so many hours in a day, 00:58:05.560 --> 00:58:08.166 and I'm always running around the kids, 00:58:08.240 --> 00:58:10.288 and I guess I leave you out a lot, 00:58:10.400 --> 00:58:12.641 and I'm really gonna try harder to make you feel special, 00:58:12.720 --> 00:58:15.485 'cause you always make me feel like the only girl in the world. 00:58:15.560 --> 00:58:17.881 I feel bad. 00:58:17.960 --> 00:58:19.200 Don't feel bad. 00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:21.726 No, I do, because today at the recital, 00:58:21.800 --> 00:58:26.124 I couldn't stop looking at Becky's teacher. 00:58:26.240 --> 00:58:27.969 I don't mind you looking. 00:58:28.120 --> 00:58:30.122 I really don't. Everybody looks. 00:58:30.440 --> 00:58:32.568 I was looking today. 00:58:32.640 --> 00:58:34.529 And I'm totally fine with that. 00:58:34.600 --> 00:58:37.046 As long as he was gay, dead or a cartoon. 00:58:37.120 --> 00:58:38.610 - Gay. - Okay. 00:58:38.840 --> 00:58:43.402 But no matter who or what we look at, we'll always come back to each other, right? 00:58:45.440 --> 00:58:46.851 - Car wash! - Car wash! 00:58:46.960 --> 00:58:48.405 - Support our team! - I'll prove it to you! 00:58:48.480 --> 00:58:50.528 Car wash! 00:58:50.600 --> 00:58:53.171 - What are you doing? - No, no, you're gonna like this. 00:58:53.720 --> 00:58:54.960 Hi, girls! 00:58:56.760 --> 00:58:58.489 Come on. 00:59:00.120 --> 00:59:02.202 Honey, you don't have to do this. 00:59:02.280 --> 00:59:03.247 I want to. 00:59:03.320 --> 00:59:05.209 Hi, girls! 00:59:05.280 --> 00:59:07.203 Wash it up extra soapy! 00:59:07.280 --> 00:59:09.203 You got it. 00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:11.567 Wait, hang on. There's a car just in front of you. 00:59:11.640 --> 00:59:12.641 Better do them first. 00:59:12.720 --> 00:59:13.767 Yo, got a customer! 00:59:13.840 --> 00:59:16.411 You take these guys, we'll take the yellow car. 00:59:16.480 --> 00:59:18.528 Extra soapy. 00:59:22.800 --> 00:59:24.609 What is happening right now? 00:59:27.640 --> 00:59:30.166 I swear, I didn't plan this. 00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:38.731 No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good. I'm good, thank you. 00:59:38.800 --> 00:59:41.007 Well, I might as well enjoy this. 01:00:22.080 --> 01:00:24.287 Why is this never-ending? 01:00:24.360 --> 01:00:27.330 At least the guys in the car in front of us are having fun. 01:00:39.760 --> 01:00:42.240 What are you doing? Get in there! 01:00:42.320 --> 01:00:43.651 Let me do it. 01:00:50.560 --> 01:00:52.369 Okay, everybody. 01:00:52.440 --> 01:00:55.250 It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it. There were some downs. 01:00:55.320 --> 01:00:57.049 Sorry about the leg. 01:00:57.120 --> 01:00:58.565 The good news is 01:00:58.640 --> 01:01:00.688 the children got through another year of school. 01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:01.847 Fabulously. 01:01:01.920 --> 01:01:04.844 You got older, even though I told you not to. Especially you. 01:01:04.920 --> 01:01:06.684 Stay young. Don't leave me. 01:01:06.760 --> 01:01:10.162 You prepared us your famous chicken a la food poisoning, 01:01:10.240 --> 01:01:11.526 which we're all excited to eat. 01:01:11.600 --> 01:01:14.046 I'm just kidding. 01:01:14.120 --> 01:01:16.361 But the greatest thing is, it's my favorite part of the day 01:01:16.440 --> 01:01:17.566 with my four best friends. 01:01:17.640 --> 01:01:18.926 To the Feders! 01:01:20.880 --> 01:01:23.611 So Bumpty asked me out for ice cream today. 01:01:23.680 --> 01:01:27.844 I "went out for ice cream" once with your dad. 01:01:27.920 --> 01:01:31.129 Nine months later, Andre popped out. 01:01:32.760 --> 01:01:36.401 This is the best vanilla pudding I've ever had. 01:01:36.480 --> 01:01:38.767 That's butter, son. 01:01:41.200 --> 01:01:42.361 Here you go. 01:01:42.440 --> 01:01:45.046 - Hey. - Want me to come in and feed it to you 01:01:45.120 --> 01:01:47.202 like I did the last time? 01:01:47.280 --> 01:01:49.521 No, no. I got my kid here. 01:01:49.640 --> 01:01:50.721 That wouldn't be cool. 01:01:50.800 --> 01:01:53.280 You said you loved me! 01:01:54.520 --> 01:01:56.284 They're not all tens, buddy. 01:02:00.480 --> 01:02:02.289 Homeboy, why aren't you eating? 01:02:02.360 --> 01:02:05.045 I saw something today that made me lose my appetite. 01:02:05.120 --> 01:02:07.851 What was it, me naked? 01:02:09.640 --> 01:02:11.244 What? 01:02:11.320 --> 01:02:12.890 What's a burpsmart? 01:02:12.960 --> 01:02:14.086 Burpsnorp? 01:02:14.160 --> 01:02:15.650 A burpsnart! 01:02:15.720 --> 01:02:18.929 Basically, he burps, sneezes and farts at the same time. 01:02:19.000 --> 01:02:20.047 He goes... 01:02:26.160 --> 01:02:28.401 I think I just shat myself. 01:02:28.480 --> 01:02:31.245 Hey, honey, what time's that Feder bash tonight? 01:02:31.320 --> 01:02:32.970 What? 01:02:33.040 --> 01:02:34.166 It's paint. 01:02:34.240 --> 01:02:35.651 It doesn't come off. 01:02:35.720 --> 01:02:38.087 I thought it might be fun to have a theme, no? 01:02:38.160 --> 01:02:40.766 - A theme? - Roxanne decided the theme is... 01:02:40.840 --> 01:02:44.686 The '80s? 01:02:44.760 --> 01:02:46.808 That was 70 years ago. 01:02:49.240 --> 01:02:50.924 I thought we could go as Hall & Oates. 01:02:51.000 --> 01:02:51.967 Hall & Oates? 01:02:52.080 --> 01:02:53.127 - Yeah. - Yeah. 01:02:53.200 --> 01:02:55.009 What is that, like a cereal? 01:02:55.080 --> 01:02:56.525 No. 01:02:56.600 --> 01:02:59.604 Why don't you ask Nancy Arbuckle to come by for the get-together? 01:02:59.680 --> 01:03:02.570 Or do you prefer the imaginary shower version? 01:03:05.400 --> 01:03:07.767 You know what, Charlotte? I trust you, 01:03:07.840 --> 01:03:09.524 and I want you to have fun tonight. 01:03:09.600 --> 01:03:10.965 Really. 01:03:14.120 --> 01:03:16.885 What's up, player? I'm here for your daughter. 01:03:19.760 --> 01:03:23.207 What... 01:03:23.320 --> 01:03:28.565 Used to get 10 cases of beer for my parties, now I get 10 cases of juice boxes. 01:03:28.880 --> 01:03:30.405 Hey, Beckster. 01:03:30.480 --> 01:03:32.164 - Hey, Stud Muffin. - Hey. 01:03:32.240 --> 01:03:35.562 Mommy calls him Stud Muffin, so I call him Stud Muffin. 01:03:35.640 --> 01:03:36.687 Is that right? 01:03:36.760 --> 01:03:39.331 You must be Roxanne's husband. I'm Kyle. 01:03:39.400 --> 01:03:41.641 How do you know my wife again there, Mud Stuffing? 01:03:41.720 --> 01:03:43.563 I worked her out this morning. 01:03:43.640 --> 01:03:44.641 Really? 01:03:44.720 --> 01:03:47.326 I worked her out this morning, too, pretty good. 01:03:47.760 --> 01:03:48.841 All right. 01:03:48.920 --> 01:03:50.843 Hi. 01:03:50.920 --> 01:03:52.046 What's up? 01:03:52.120 --> 01:03:53.690 This is awkward. 01:03:53.760 --> 01:03:55.842 My husband's here. 01:03:55.920 --> 01:03:57.570 Why is that awkward? 01:03:57.640 --> 01:03:59.324 Why? 01:03:59.400 --> 01:04:01.129 Well, let me give you a hint. 01:04:02.760 --> 01:04:04.808 You have brain damage? 01:04:07.000 --> 01:04:09.367 I think we both know what time it is, don't we? 01:04:09.440 --> 01:04:10.771 What time is it? 01:04:10.840 --> 01:04:12.842 Nothing. 01:04:12.920 --> 01:04:16.766 It's just... Just time to... 01:04:16.840 --> 01:04:18.524 Help me out here. 01:04:18.760 --> 01:04:21.570 I'm lost right now. I'm sorry. 01:04:21.640 --> 01:04:23.529 Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do? 01:04:23.600 --> 01:04:24.601 Did he pass his test? 01:04:24.680 --> 01:04:26.125 He squeaked by. 01:04:26.200 --> 01:04:28.328 We didn't check out any soapy cheerleaders. 01:04:28.400 --> 01:04:30.084 What's going on with you and my wife? 01:04:30.160 --> 01:04:31.161 I'm gonna go. 01:04:31.240 --> 01:04:32.571 Actually, why don't we all go our separate ways. 01:04:32.680 --> 01:04:34.961 I don't see any of these conversations working out for me. 01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:36.365 - Adios. - I'll see you tonight. 01:04:36.440 --> 01:04:37.407 Hey- 01:04:37.480 --> 01:04:38.641 I'll bring the Hubba Bubba. 01:04:39.560 --> 01:04:40.641 What? 01:04:40.720 --> 01:04:42.768 Yeah, party tonight '80s-style, huh? 01:04:42.840 --> 01:04:44.649 Rocky Ill. 01:04:44.720 --> 01:04:46.961 - Wiley! - Okay. 01:04:48.000 --> 01:04:49.764 Hey, babe. 01:04:50.680 --> 01:04:51.966 What does Penny's note say? 01:04:56.320 --> 01:04:58.084 She wrote, "Mayonnaise, zitis..." 01:04:58.160 --> 01:04:59.400 The other side. 01:05:02.160 --> 01:05:04.561 "Meet me by your mailbox at 11:00." 01:05:04.640 --> 01:05:07.007 Why would I meet her by my mailbox at 11:00? 01:05:12.000 --> 01:05:14.321 You have any idea what just happened there? 01:05:14.400 --> 01:05:15.686 Not a clue. 01:05:15.760 --> 01:05:18.161 I don't care who your parents are. 01:05:18.240 --> 01:05:19.844 You screw up, I fire you. 01:05:19.920 --> 01:05:22.048 It's all good. 01:05:22.120 --> 01:05:23.167 "It's all good"? 01:05:23.240 --> 01:05:25.481 It's a family restaurant, not a rap show. 01:05:25.560 --> 01:05:27.130 It's all bad? 01:05:27.200 --> 01:05:29.089 That's right, it is. 01:05:29.160 --> 01:05:30.525 You got a customer. 01:05:31.840 --> 01:05:33.604 I'm sorry. Welcome to the Ice Cream House. 01:05:33.680 --> 01:05:35.330 Hi, Greg. 01:05:35.400 --> 01:05:37.209 Nancy, hi. 01:05:37.280 --> 01:05:40.045 I think you crushed your cones. 01:05:40.120 --> 01:05:41.281 No. 01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:42.771 That was a... That was a squeeze test. 01:05:42.840 --> 01:05:44.444 These cones failed. 01:05:44.520 --> 01:05:46.204 We're gonna try cardboard cones next. 01:05:47.160 --> 01:05:48.241 You're smiling. 01:05:48.920 --> 01:05:50.285 And number two. 01:05:50.360 --> 01:05:52.362 You have such a nice smile. 01:05:52.440 --> 01:05:54.124 Thanks. 01:05:54.200 --> 01:05:57.124 Go out with me tonight before your friends say I'm fugly. 01:05:57.200 --> 01:05:59.282 Tonight? 01:05:59.360 --> 01:06:00.441 Sure. 01:06:00.560 --> 01:06:02.642 No freaking way. 01:06:04.200 --> 01:06:06.885 Your father used to do that same three-step crap 01:06:06.960 --> 01:06:08.291 when we were growing up. 01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:10.641 It always worked then. 01:06:10.720 --> 01:06:12.529 Even on my wife. 01:06:15.480 --> 01:06:18.484 I ain't no boy with a mind you can toy, 01:06:18.560 --> 01:06:21.484 'cause if this is a ploy, I'll destroy Illinois. 01:06:21.560 --> 01:06:24.325 It is so amazing how you can freestyle like that. 01:06:24.400 --> 01:06:27.370 I been laying it down truthful since day one. 01:06:30.440 --> 01:06:33.410 Well, I sing sometimes, too, 01:06:33.480 --> 01:06:35.608 but only, like, in the shower. 01:06:35.720 --> 01:06:37.688 I'm scared to sing in front of other people. 01:06:37.760 --> 01:06:40.764 If you scared, that means you don't got it. 01:06:40.840 --> 01:06:44.322 Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front. I'm hard-core. 01:06:47.880 --> 01:06:49.484 Dinosaur! 01:06:51.240 --> 01:06:53.527 How long ago was the '80s? 01:06:53.600 --> 01:06:56.365 That was way back in the 1900s. 01:06:56.440 --> 01:06:57.646 We learned about it in school. 01:06:57.720 --> 01:06:58.767 It was wack. 01:06:58.840 --> 01:07:01.844 The phones had long, curly things coming out of the end. 01:07:01.920 --> 01:07:03.570 You had to watch commercials. 01:07:03.640 --> 01:07:04.721 No way. 01:07:04.800 --> 01:07:06.131 Isn't that right, Bowser? 01:07:08.160 --> 01:07:09.969 How we doing? 01:07:10.040 --> 01:07:12.361 Hey, Dad, why do we have to wear costumes and you don't? 01:07:12.440 --> 01:07:13.805 I am wearing a costume. 01:07:13.880 --> 01:07:16.611 Bruce Springsteen, Born in the U. S.A. 01:07:17.600 --> 01:07:19.329 Who's Bruce Springsteen? 01:07:19.400 --> 01:07:21.368 I guess some guy with a giant butt. 01:07:22.680 --> 01:07:24.569 You don't know who the Boss is? 01:07:24.640 --> 01:07:26.165 I stink as a father. 01:07:26.240 --> 01:07:28.242 You do not stink as a father. 01:07:28.320 --> 01:07:30.163 You're the best father I know. 01:07:30.240 --> 01:07:32.607 That's why I don't understand why you don't... 01:07:32.680 --> 01:07:33.727 Why I don't want a baby? 01:07:33.800 --> 01:07:36.280 Because I don't want one! Let's move on from that! 01:07:43.440 --> 01:07:45.920 No. No, no. 01:07:46.040 --> 01:07:47.804 Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad. 01:07:47.880 --> 01:07:49.484 It was your flabby ass. 01:07:49.560 --> 01:07:53.042 You want me to "accidentally" break the other leg? 01:07:58.800 --> 01:08:02.247 Hey, I'm sorry I raised my voice. 01:08:02.320 --> 01:08:03.924 In front of the children! 01:08:04.000 --> 01:08:05.570 Right, in front of the kids. 01:08:05.640 --> 01:08:06.880 It's just, you... 01:08:06.960 --> 01:08:09.611 All you're doing is bringing up this baby thing over and over. 01:08:09.680 --> 01:08:11.125 Are you going through, like, 01:08:11.200 --> 01:08:15.250 a "womany" hormone situation or something? 01:08:15.360 --> 01:08:17.089 Menopause? 01:08:17.160 --> 01:08:19.127 What, you're not old enough for that? I'm sorry. 01:08:19.240 --> 01:08:20.924 Okay, no, I meant schizophrenia. 01:08:21.000 --> 01:08:23.287 No, honey, honey, honey, 01:08:23.359 --> 01:08:26.330 if we have another baby, we're starting over, you know? 01:08:26.399 --> 01:08:27.890 How about we just adopt a kid? 01:08:27.960 --> 01:08:29.281 Like a 20-year-old who has a job. 01:08:29.319 --> 01:08:30.921 That way we could make money off of him. 01:08:32.479 --> 01:08:35.768 I just... Don't you think we can start concentrating on me and you? 01:08:35.880 --> 01:08:38.406 That's all I'm saying. It's our time. 01:08:38.479 --> 01:08:43.087 Well, I am going through kind of a hormone thing. 01:08:43.160 --> 01:08:45.447 Good, there's pills for that. 01:08:47.080 --> 01:08:48.969 I'm pregnant. 01:08:52.439 --> 01:08:54.408 Our guests are here. 01:08:56.880 --> 01:09:00.009 Wait a minute, when did we even have... 01:09:03.560 --> 01:09:07.724 Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub! 01:09:07.800 --> 01:09:10.564 Wow. Lenny, that's big, brother. 01:09:10.640 --> 01:09:12.165 Yeah, four kids is the best. 01:09:12.240 --> 01:09:13.651 What are you talking about, Prince? 01:09:13.720 --> 01:09:15.768 You told me it would be the worst if that happened. 01:09:15.880 --> 01:09:17.848 There's a lot of great aspects to that. 01:09:17.920 --> 01:09:21.527 Like, when Junior graduates high school, you'll be 64. 01:09:21.600 --> 01:09:22.930 How is that a good thing? 01:09:23.000 --> 01:09:24.729 Actually, it's horrifying. 01:09:24.800 --> 01:09:26.723 I didn't do the math before I opened my mouth. Sorry. 01:09:26.800 --> 01:09:28.881 Nice job, Cher. 01:09:28.960 --> 01:09:30.006 Okay, I'm not Cher. 01:09:30.080 --> 01:09:32.162 I'm Meat Loaf, all right? Yeah. 01:09:32.240 --> 01:09:34.970 You're Meat Loaf, or you're made of meat loaf? 01:09:35.040 --> 01:09:36.279 Who are you, Doug Henning? 01:09:36.399 --> 01:09:38.163 I'm Oates. 01:09:38.240 --> 01:09:39.241 Where's Hall? 01:09:39.359 --> 01:09:41.680 Hall's having a playdate with your kids. 01:09:44.880 --> 01:09:46.848 Anyway, you got nothing to worry about, Lenny. 01:09:46.920 --> 01:09:48.120 All right? You're a great dad. 01:09:48.160 --> 01:09:49.649 Right, I know. I broke my son's leg today. 01:09:49.720 --> 01:09:50.881 That's a real good dad. 01:09:50.960 --> 01:09:53.645 Guys, you're bumming me out, all right? This is supposed to be party time. 01:09:53.720 --> 01:09:56.690 This isn't gonna be a real party. I'm drinking a juice box, 01:09:56.760 --> 01:09:59.969 'cause I'm afraid my wife's gonna yell at me for getting drunk in front of the kids. 01:10:00.040 --> 01:10:03.249 How many of you guys have been to a party in the past six months? 01:10:04.560 --> 01:10:06.289 A party without a bouncy house. 01:10:07.720 --> 01:10:09.609 A party where they actually invited you. 01:10:11.080 --> 01:10:12.161 Yeah. 01:10:12.240 --> 01:10:14.686 The party's over, fellas. 01:10:14.760 --> 01:10:16.808 You saw the way those frat guys treated us today. 01:10:16.880 --> 01:10:18.245 We're irrelevant. 01:10:18.320 --> 01:10:19.560 We're losers. 01:10:19.640 --> 01:10:20.687 We're old. 01:10:20.760 --> 01:10:22.125 Lamonsoff totally surrendered. 01:10:22.200 --> 01:10:24.043 He's got a fanny pack on now, for God's sake. 01:10:24.120 --> 01:10:25.770 You know what, first of all, 01:10:25.840 --> 01:10:28.411 it's a "survanny" pack, a survival fanny pack, 01:10:28.480 --> 01:10:29.845 with many special features. 01:10:29.920 --> 01:10:32.207 So you pull that triangle and lasagna comes out? 01:10:33.800 --> 01:10:35.211 Why don't you give it a shot? 01:10:35.280 --> 01:10:37.487 You got it. I'll pull the string. 01:10:40.440 --> 01:10:42.522 Like a raft out of hell! 01:10:43.840 --> 01:10:45.888 Yeah, good one, that was good. 01:10:46.320 --> 01:10:48.243 Don't ever say the party's over! 01:10:50.520 --> 01:10:52.329 That didn't happen. 01:10:56.200 --> 01:10:58.328 Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero. 01:11:16.320 --> 01:11:18.402 No, no, no, no, no. 01:11:18.480 --> 01:11:19.686 What's with all this Prince? 01:11:19.760 --> 01:11:21.000 - I'm Prince. - The hell. 01:11:21.080 --> 01:11:22.411 You ain't Prince. I'm Prince. 01:11:22.480 --> 01:11:24.130 My skin's way lighter than yours. 01:11:24.200 --> 01:11:27.090 You should have came as Seal on a hunger strike. 01:11:27.160 --> 01:11:30.687 You look like Morgan Freeman if he was a transvestite. 01:11:30.760 --> 01:11:33.411 And what you doing here, Bumpty? I thought you was out with my daughter. 01:11:33.480 --> 01:11:35.801 That ain't Bumpty. That's my wife. 01:11:35.880 --> 01:11:38.531 Mary! I didn't recognize you. 01:11:38.600 --> 01:11:39.886 Where's your costume? 01:11:39.960 --> 01:11:42.884 I didn't find out about the party until it was too late. 01:11:43.120 --> 01:11:46.044 So you decided to come as a black Muppet? 01:11:46.400 --> 01:11:48.767 What? 01:11:49.400 --> 01:11:52.847 Come on, you're my one and only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo. 01:11:53.440 --> 01:11:55.647 Make a muscle for me? 01:11:55.720 --> 01:11:56.846 Pwease? 01:11:59.440 --> 01:12:01.408 So bulgy. 01:12:02.240 --> 01:12:06.325 Like a big caramel apple. 01:12:16.320 --> 01:12:18.084 Wow. 01:12:18.280 --> 01:12:21.921 I'm scared. I feel safe with you. 01:12:32.240 --> 01:12:33.924 Shut up. 01:12:35.520 --> 01:12:39.081 You know, I can make a connection with a woman. 01:12:39.160 --> 01:12:41.367 I just can't sustain it. 01:12:41.440 --> 01:12:43.602 You know, there's a distance there. 01:12:43.800 --> 01:12:47.885 Try to fill it up pharmaceutically, you know, with pills, 01:12:47.960 --> 01:12:49.849 or the Discovery Channel, 01:12:49.920 --> 01:12:52.082 or Dino Nuggets. 01:12:52.440 --> 01:12:54.124 But nothing really works. 01:12:54.200 --> 01:12:57.443 See, you understand, you know? 01:12:57.560 --> 01:12:59.608 'Cause you're, I heard, 01:13:00.080 --> 01:13:02.606 sensitive to men. 01:13:03.000 --> 01:13:04.411 God, he's hot! 01:13:04.480 --> 01:13:06.721 Zip it! He'll find out our secret! 01:13:13.120 --> 01:13:15.327 - Drink up, partner. - Yeah! 01:13:15.400 --> 01:13:16.970 Lenny! 01:13:17.080 --> 01:13:18.809 Secret table. 01:13:18.880 --> 01:13:21.042 Yes, honey, how are you? What's going on? 01:13:21.120 --> 01:13:22.724 We just trying to get our punch on. 01:13:22.800 --> 01:13:23.767 Becky's sleepy- 01:13:23.840 --> 01:13:25.888 She wants her daddy to put her to bed. 01:13:25.960 --> 01:13:28.725 Well, Daddy's right about to enjoy some refreshing punch, 01:13:28.840 --> 01:13:30.763 so could you put her to sleep? 01:13:30.840 --> 01:13:32.842 Well, you wouldn't want to have too much punch 01:13:32.920 --> 01:13:35.241 with all these kids running around. 01:13:35.360 --> 01:13:36.850 You know what, I'd be okay with that. 01:13:36.920 --> 01:13:38.251 Actually, you wouldn't. 01:13:38.320 --> 01:13:39.685 Gotcha. 01:13:39.760 --> 01:13:42.604 I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll be back soon. That's a promise. 01:13:42.680 --> 01:13:44.250 - Let's go, little girl. - Good night. 01:13:44.320 --> 01:13:45.481 Time to go to sleep. 01:13:45.840 --> 01:13:47.524 Close your eyes. 01:13:51.000 --> 01:13:52.365 Yeah, Mom. 01:13:54.000 --> 01:13:56.367 As easy as making a free throw. 01:13:58.520 --> 01:14:00.727 Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep. 01:14:00.800 --> 01:14:03.451 I think it's time for you to hit it, pal. What do you say? 01:14:03.520 --> 01:14:04.806 No, no, don't touch that. 01:14:04.880 --> 01:14:06.325 Yeah, you might break it. 01:14:10.360 --> 01:14:12.044 What... 01:14:12.120 --> 01:14:13.929 Where did you learn how to do that? 01:14:14.040 --> 01:14:15.804 I saw it in one of my dreams. 01:14:20.640 --> 01:14:22.927 You're a genius? 01:14:23.000 --> 01:14:25.287 My boy's a genius. 01:14:29.880 --> 01:14:32.690 Your dad's also a genius. 01:14:32.760 --> 01:14:35.240 Sweet dreams there, angel, okay? 01:14:35.320 --> 01:14:38.449 Daddy, can you lay in bed with me till I fall asleep? 01:14:38.520 --> 01:14:41.126 What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy. That's why we came up here. 01:14:41.200 --> 01:14:43.567 Please lay down. 01:14:46.880 --> 01:14:48.120 I'll lay down with you, then. 01:14:48.200 --> 01:14:51.329 I just... There's a party going on, but... 01:14:51.400 --> 01:14:52.970 Can you tell me a story? 01:14:53.040 --> 01:14:54.644 Look who was in the neighborhood! 01:14:54.760 --> 01:14:57.923 Some of Lenny's friends from the old J. Geils Band! 01:15:11.800 --> 01:15:14.406 - Daddy? - You don't want one slug? 01:15:14.480 --> 01:15:15.845 No. 01:15:15.920 --> 01:15:18.082 I thought you liked this stuff. Sorry. 01:15:19.160 --> 01:15:22.209 All right. I'll tell you a story. 01:15:22.320 --> 01:15:28.202 Once upon a time, there was a hand, 01:15:28.720 --> 01:15:31.803 and the hand faced-raked the child. 01:15:32.320 --> 01:15:35.563 Sleep! 01:15:35.880 --> 01:15:38.167 Slee... 01:15:39.320 --> 01:15:41.084 Sleep! 01:15:41.760 --> 01:15:45.970 Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock and roll records pretty loud. 01:15:46.440 --> 01:15:48.283 Guess he's never heard of neighbors. 01:15:51.040 --> 01:15:52.280 Now, why you stopping here? 01:15:52.480 --> 01:15:53.925 I need some air. 01:15:54.000 --> 01:15:55.161 You need some air? 01:15:55.240 --> 01:15:57.891 - We haven't even gotten to the party yet. - I would appreciate it 01:15:57.960 --> 01:16:00.281 if you would stop trying to "manage" me. 01:16:01.560 --> 01:16:03.688 Word, word. 01:16:04.200 --> 01:16:05.725 Want me to stay and wait with you? 01:16:05.800 --> 01:16:09.771 I just want to be alone! 01:16:11.360 --> 01:16:13.044 Yo, don't believe the hype. 01:16:13.120 --> 01:16:15.122 Boy! 01:16:24.280 --> 01:16:28.604 Daddy, I can't fall asleep without Mr. Gigglesworth. 01:16:28.680 --> 01:16:31.081 You told me he would be okay. 01:16:31.160 --> 01:16:33.162 He Will be. I... 01:16:33.240 --> 01:16:35.481 He just needs to rest a little bit longer, okay? 01:16:35.640 --> 01:16:38.883 Please, Daddy. I need to see him. 01:16:39.600 --> 01:16:43.321 He had a very rough day. 01:16:43.640 --> 01:16:48.089 But I'll get him for you, because you need to see him. 01:16:49.720 --> 01:16:53.042 Doing leg lifts. I work out when I can, you know? 01:16:53.400 --> 01:16:54.925 Want some Daddy candy right here? 01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:56.968 Why are you naked? 01:16:57.040 --> 01:16:58.565 Global warming. 01:16:59.080 --> 01:17:00.320 Why is this empty? 01:17:00.400 --> 01:17:01.845 - Where is Gigglesworth? - Hey, hey. 01:17:01.920 --> 01:17:04.969 I'm sorry, man. Were you looking for this? 01:17:05.040 --> 01:17:06.280 Why's he look good? 01:17:06.360 --> 01:17:07.646 I sewed him. 01:17:07.720 --> 01:17:08.801 You sew? 01:17:08.880 --> 01:17:09.961 Where'd you learn how to sew? 01:17:10.040 --> 01:17:11.121 Gay camp- 01:17:11.200 --> 01:17:13.441 You went to gay camp? You're gay? 01:17:13.600 --> 01:17:16.171 No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay, 01:17:16.240 --> 01:17:18.811 but no, there's no such thing as gay camp, man. it was a joke. 01:17:18.880 --> 01:17:20.721 I learned to sew from my dad, who was a tailor. 01:17:20.760 --> 01:17:23.331 I've been sewing since I was Becky's age. Here. 01:17:23.480 --> 01:17:25.403 This is great. 01:17:25.880 --> 01:17:27.928 Gigglesworth's okay, 01:17:28.000 --> 01:17:30.207 you're not fooling around with my wife, 01:17:30.280 --> 01:17:31.520 and you got a pee stain. 01:17:35.680 --> 01:17:37.842 That is not mine. 01:17:47.080 --> 01:17:49.082 You're an animal. 01:17:54.880 --> 01:17:57.770 I am the law! 01:18:07.560 --> 01:18:09.688 Can you dig it? 01:18:21.120 --> 01:18:23.441 Come on, big man, Lenny's got, like, 12 bathrooms. 01:18:23.640 --> 01:18:25.722 I don't got to go to the bathroom. 01:18:25.800 --> 01:18:27.450 I'm just enjoying the water. 01:18:27.960 --> 01:18:29.928 Get out. 01:18:30.000 --> 01:18:32.606 Hurry! Hurry! 01:18:32.680 --> 01:18:34.364 Fluzoo, come on! 01:18:34.480 --> 01:18:37.324 That's not even warm. It's hot. 01:18:42.320 --> 01:18:44.402 I got to give it to your old man for one thing. 01:18:44.480 --> 01:18:47.290 He could always throw a party. 01:18:47.360 --> 01:18:48.964 This is my dad's party? 01:18:52.440 --> 01:18:55.489 Check out your girlfriend in the Pat Benatar outfit. 01:19:17.000 --> 01:19:18.365 Charlotte, 01:19:18.480 --> 01:19:19.766 that was amazing. 01:19:19.840 --> 01:19:21.280 Where'd you learn to sing like that? 01:19:21.360 --> 01:19:24.921 No place. I just sing a little in the shower. 01:19:25.160 --> 01:19:27.481 Maybe you should stick to the shower. 01:19:27.560 --> 01:19:28.800 'Cause I gots the power 01:19:28.880 --> 01:19:31.326 I'm on Today Show Dissing Matt Lauer 01:19:31.400 --> 01:19:32.447 Bumpty! 01:19:32.520 --> 01:19:36.809 Do me a favor and shut your mouth before I slap that Mohawk into a chin strap. 01:19:36.880 --> 01:19:38.484 What? 01:19:53.080 --> 01:19:54.320 Hey- 01:19:54.400 --> 01:19:56.448 Who invited you guys? 01:19:56.560 --> 01:19:58.881 Your beautiful wife does. 01:19:58.960 --> 01:20:00.166 Well, she invited her, 01:20:00.240 --> 01:20:03.164 and naturally, we assumed it was a plus one. 01:20:03.720 --> 01:20:04.801 There a problem? 01:20:04.880 --> 01:20:08.521 No, I was gonna say, great Terminator outfit 01:20:08.600 --> 01:20:11.410 and Robert Palmer thing you got on, and... 01:20:12.800 --> 01:20:14.404 Nice babble. 01:20:15.640 --> 01:20:16.971 - How about this? - No. 01:20:17.080 --> 01:20:18.127 What about that? 01:20:18.200 --> 01:20:20.362 Does that hurt? Is that hurting you? 01:20:20.440 --> 01:20:21.521 Yes, it is hurting me. 01:20:21.600 --> 01:20:24.331 Okay. Well, let me do it some more. 01:20:24.400 --> 01:20:26.687 You got something to say? 01:20:26.800 --> 01:20:28.450 Actually, Cavanaugh. 01:20:28.600 --> 01:20:32.161 You want to stay at my party, I think you owe me an apology. 01:20:32.240 --> 01:20:33.241 For what? 01:20:33.320 --> 01:20:36.210 For back in the day, always giving me crap. 01:20:36.480 --> 01:20:38.528 You don't want to let bygones be bygones? 01:20:38.600 --> 01:20:41.809 I do. After you apologize to me. 01:20:42.240 --> 01:20:44.049 For stuff I did 30 years ago? 01:20:44.120 --> 01:20:47.681 There isn't a statute of limitations on being a dick. 01:20:47.760 --> 01:20:49.808 What'd you just say? 01:20:49.880 --> 01:20:51.723 I said what I said. 01:20:51.800 --> 01:20:53.848 You and me are fighting right now. 01:20:53.920 --> 01:20:56.127 Now, let's go! Let's get it over with. 01:20:58.160 --> 01:21:00.527 Man, looks like our friend's about to die. 01:21:00.600 --> 01:21:02.489 Lenny, what's going on? I'm calling the police! 01:21:02.600 --> 01:21:05.171 We're already here. 01:21:07.960 --> 01:21:09.246 Hold my hair, woman. 01:21:10.120 --> 01:21:11.246 You ready for this? 01:21:11.320 --> 01:21:14.085 Not at all, but I'm gonna do this, 01:21:14.160 --> 01:21:16.128 'cause I got to show my son what's right. 01:21:19.960 --> 01:21:21.724 We'd do anything for our boys, wouldn't we? 01:21:21.800 --> 01:21:23.211 Absolutely. 01:21:23.280 --> 01:21:24.406 Yeah. 01:21:24.480 --> 01:21:26.050 My boy's over in Afghanistan. 01:21:26.120 --> 01:21:29.522 Well, you raised him right. I hope he gets home safe soon. 01:21:29.600 --> 01:21:31.045 Yeah, me, too. 01:21:31.120 --> 01:21:32.565 Sucker-punch him, Feder. 01:21:32.640 --> 01:21:37.009 Lick his bicep. Lick it, bite it, lick the tan off. 01:21:38.640 --> 01:21:40.688 All right, here's what's gonna happen. 01:21:40.760 --> 01:21:43.445 Hit me right on the chin. I'll go down like a sack of potatoes. 01:21:43.520 --> 01:21:45.761 - What are you talking about? - Just do it. 01:21:45.840 --> 01:21:48.320 I know you'd do the same for me if my boy was watching. 01:21:49.320 --> 01:21:51.163 Let's get busy, Hollywood! 01:21:58.440 --> 01:21:59.885 No! Don't hit me, please! 01:21:59.960 --> 01:22:01.883 I'm sorry. Please don't hit me. 01:22:01.960 --> 01:22:03.371 You would tear me limb from limb. 01:22:03.480 --> 01:22:04.766 Open this. 01:22:04.840 --> 01:22:07.491 The only reason I picked on you was because I was afraid of you. 01:22:07.560 --> 01:22:08.971 - What? - Oh, my God. 01:22:09.040 --> 01:22:11.042 Please, please, please. Just go with it. 01:22:11.120 --> 01:22:13.440 I didn't think anyone would believe you could knock me out. 01:22:13.480 --> 01:22:17.280 Please. Don't hit me. 01:22:17.360 --> 01:22:20.443 Cavanaugh's crying. This is ridiculous! 01:22:20.520 --> 01:22:21.487 Cavanaugh. 01:22:21.560 --> 01:22:23.130 You mean you don't want me to hit you with this? 01:22:23.200 --> 01:22:24.201 No! Please. 01:22:24.440 --> 01:22:26.488 Or the elbow? 01:22:26.840 --> 01:22:28.285 Finger in the eye! 01:22:28.360 --> 01:22:30.249 - Wow. - Listen to this guy! 01:22:30.320 --> 01:22:33.847 All right, get up. Straighten up. 01:22:34.160 --> 01:22:35.969 I'm not gonna hit you, 01:22:36.560 --> 01:22:40.963 but if you ever disrespect me 01:22:41.040 --> 01:22:42.849 or anybody, 01:22:42.920 --> 01:22:44.763 I will hunt you down, 01:22:44.840 --> 01:22:48.481 and I will slap you into a pile of tattoos, 01:22:49.040 --> 01:22:50.724 bad breath 01:22:51.400 --> 01:22:52.481 and back zits. 01:22:53.520 --> 01:22:55.488 Please. 01:22:55.560 --> 01:22:57.688 Do you understand me? 01:22:57.920 --> 01:22:59.524 Yes, I understand you. 01:22:59.600 --> 01:23:02.206 Do you understand me? 01:23:02.280 --> 01:23:04.726 Yes, I understand you! 01:23:05.080 --> 01:23:06.809 Then walk away before I change my mind. 01:23:06.880 --> 01:23:08.291 Thank you very much. 01:23:14.040 --> 01:23:16.168 - Hey, man, look at him! - What just happened? 01:23:16.240 --> 01:23:18.163 Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! 01:23:18.240 --> 01:23:21.483 Oh, my God, that was the manliest thing you ever did. 01:23:21.600 --> 01:23:24.968 You get extra special hip-hop dance tonight. 01:23:25.040 --> 01:23:26.644 Word up. 01:23:30.400 --> 01:23:32.528 Hey, guys, if you see Leonard, 01:23:32.600 --> 01:23:36.161 could you tell him that I'm here waiting like we arranged? 01:23:36.280 --> 01:23:38.009 Guys? Guys? 01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:43.002 Yeah, okay. Okay, I am a person! 01:23:43.120 --> 01:23:45.043 - That was awesome, by the way. - Had to. Had to. 01:23:45.120 --> 01:23:46.531 Yeah, yeah, you had to. 01:23:46.600 --> 01:23:48.204 He let you off the hook, didn't he? 01:23:48.280 --> 01:23:51.204 He did, he did, but I had to go With it. 01:23:56.760 --> 01:23:58.603 I can't believe it! 01:23:58.720 --> 01:24:00.882 We hit the moron jackpot! 01:24:00.960 --> 01:24:05.249 Everybody who needs a beating, conveniently together on one lawn. 01:24:05.320 --> 01:24:06.810 Who are they? 01:24:06.880 --> 01:24:09.326 Brunson University frat guys. 01:24:09.440 --> 01:24:12.171 Oh, God, I hate white people. 01:24:12.280 --> 01:24:15.045 Excuse me, why are you here? What's the matter? 01:24:15.120 --> 01:24:18.169 I tell you what is the matter. 01:24:18.280 --> 01:24:20.965 These old townies trashed our frat house! 01:24:21.040 --> 01:24:24.761 And nobody treats our good-times headquarters with disrespect! 01:24:24.840 --> 01:24:26.888 Yeah! 01:24:27.040 --> 01:24:29.964 They didn't do it. 01:24:30.040 --> 01:24:31.405 Me do it. 01:24:31.480 --> 01:24:33.767 Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog! 01:24:33.880 --> 01:24:35.325 Who's Z-Dog? 01:24:35.400 --> 01:24:36.686 We know they're trying to get back at us 01:24:36.800 --> 01:24:39.041 for making them do the naked plunge in our swimming hole. 01:24:39.080 --> 01:24:42.562 Your swimming hole? I've been swimming at the quarry since I was eight years old. 01:24:42.680 --> 01:24:45.081 Apparently, everybody in this crap town 01:24:45.160 --> 01:24:47.970 has been swimming there since they were eight years old. 01:24:48.040 --> 01:24:52.170 I guess nobody wants to leave this dump because they're too busy sucking! 01:24:57.640 --> 01:24:58.926 We'll finish later. 01:24:59.000 --> 01:25:00.445 - You promise? - I promise. 01:25:00.520 --> 01:25:02.329 - Okay. - Hey, smart guy! 01:25:02.400 --> 01:25:04.562 Lenny Feder left this town, 01:25:04.640 --> 01:25:07.689 moved to Hollywood, made big bucks, 01:25:07.760 --> 01:25:10.161 probably more money than all you brainiacs put together 01:25:10.240 --> 01:25:11.241 ever will. 01:25:11.320 --> 01:25:12.526 But guess what? 01:25:12.640 --> 01:25:14.244 He came back here. 01:25:14.320 --> 01:25:19.042 'Cause this beautiful town is his home. And it always will be his home. 01:25:24.360 --> 01:25:28.365 Well, that was just a moving testament to this community, bro! 01:25:28.440 --> 01:25:32.604 But we didn't come here to hear any lame speeches. 01:25:32.680 --> 01:25:37.288 We came here to kick some old, smelly ass! 01:25:43.000 --> 01:25:45.287 Fellas, we may be old. 01:25:45.400 --> 01:25:46.640 We may be smelly. 01:25:46.720 --> 01:25:48.722 We may have a penis. 01:25:51.840 --> 01:25:54.571 But the only ones getting their ass kicked around here 01:25:54.640 --> 01:25:57.530 is gonna be you spoiled, 01:25:57.640 --> 01:26:01.531 privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags. 01:26:01.600 --> 01:26:02.806 You hear that? 01:26:02.880 --> 01:26:05.281 Now, let's get busy! 01:26:26.280 --> 01:26:27.486 They're dancing on the ceiling 01:26:27.560 --> 01:26:30.211 They're dancing on the floor 01:26:30.280 --> 01:26:33.363 People everywhere coming through the door 01:26:33.440 --> 01:26:36.523 They know there's a party going on 01:26:46.120 --> 01:26:47.690 Come on, son! 01:26:47.760 --> 01:26:48.727 You ain't tough! 01:26:48.800 --> 01:26:50.245 Hit him! 01:26:50.920 --> 01:26:55.369 Yeah, Braden! Yeah! Damn! 01:26:55.480 --> 01:26:56.970 You want this? 01:27:01.320 --> 01:27:02.606 Sir, please stop it! 01:27:02.680 --> 01:27:04.921 That's not a sir! That's a woman! 01:27:05.000 --> 01:27:07.128 My woman! 01:27:07.240 --> 01:27:09.402 Come on, babe. 01:27:09.480 --> 01:27:12.723 I know you're gonna lose control 01:27:12.800 --> 01:27:14.040 You can do 01:27:14.120 --> 01:27:16.043 Oh, you're so hot. 01:27:19.560 --> 01:27:22.370 I know it's cold outside 01:27:22.440 --> 01:27:24.442 Don't bust my face! 01:27:25.000 --> 01:27:26.490 You saved me. 01:27:28.400 --> 01:27:31.688 I will protect you for the rest of your life. 01:27:31.760 --> 01:27:34.843 Okay, blow dryer boy. 01:27:38.320 --> 01:27:39.606 Oh, God, no! 01:27:39.680 --> 01:27:41.728 No! No! 01:27:41.800 --> 01:27:43.802 Yeah! Yeah! 01:27:43.880 --> 01:27:45.609 Having a good anniversary, babe? 01:27:45.680 --> 01:27:47.011 Honey, the best. 01:27:51.520 --> 01:27:52.931 I can't breathe. 01:27:53.000 --> 01:27:54.126 Choking me! 01:28:04.720 --> 01:28:05.926 Yeah! 01:28:06.000 --> 01:28:07.809 We did it. We did it, man. 01:28:07.880 --> 01:28:08.847 Yeah. 01:28:08.920 --> 01:28:10.365 We make a good team. 01:28:10.440 --> 01:28:11.965 Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. 01:28:38.280 --> 01:28:40.647 I know it's cold outside 01:28:40.720 --> 01:28:43.564 Come on, babe, I'll keep you satisfied 01:28:43.640 --> 01:28:44.766 Boomer! 01:28:44.880 --> 01:28:46.086 What's going on? 01:28:46.160 --> 01:28:47.605 This! 01:28:47.680 --> 01:28:50.490 You're a traitor, Boomer! 01:28:50.560 --> 01:28:51.766 His name's not Boomer! 01:28:52.840 --> 01:28:54.126 It's Gary. 01:28:54.200 --> 01:28:55.361 It's Greg. 01:28:55.440 --> 01:28:57.647 Greg. 01:29:04.640 --> 01:29:06.961 Oh, my God! Did you see his head? 01:29:07.040 --> 01:29:08.769 He's got a... He's bald! 01:29:08.920 --> 01:29:12.208 I got a wild one! 01:29:14.080 --> 01:29:15.684 Noogie, noogie, noogie. 01:29:15.760 --> 01:29:17.808 Nobody noogies my brother! 01:29:19.680 --> 01:29:22.081 My brain! My brain! 01:29:26.720 --> 01:29:28.484 B.U.! 01:29:28.560 --> 01:29:30.050 Hey, man! I had that one. 01:29:30.120 --> 01:29:31.724 I know you did, big brother. 01:29:31.800 --> 01:29:33.882 - Get out of here! - Don't hit me! 01:29:33.960 --> 01:29:36.884 Hey, hey, look who showed up. 01:29:36.960 --> 01:29:39.930 Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to flip your way out of this? 01:29:41.280 --> 01:29:42.725 Too slow, old man. 01:29:42.800 --> 01:29:44.131 Where you work out, Cinnabon? 01:29:47.280 --> 01:29:48.566 Look who's back up, baby. 01:29:48.640 --> 01:29:50.688 I didn't know we were kicking. Give me a second to stretch. 01:29:50.760 --> 01:29:52.046 All right. 01:29:52.120 --> 01:29:53.565 We're gonna throw some legs, huh? 01:29:53.640 --> 01:29:55.324 You want to throw some legs, huh? 01:29:57.320 --> 01:29:59.163 Boom! 01:29:59.240 --> 01:30:00.969 That just happened. 01:30:01.760 --> 01:30:04.127 What, were you raised by ninjas? 01:30:05.600 --> 01:30:07.284 Congratulations. 01:30:07.360 --> 01:30:08.361 You won the fight. 01:30:08.440 --> 01:30:09.441 Here's your prize. 01:30:11.120 --> 01:30:14.408 Thanks, little girl. It looks just like you. 01:30:17.040 --> 01:30:18.690 It's a monkey! 01:30:19.160 --> 01:30:20.321 Look at me! 01:30:20.400 --> 01:30:23.370 I'm a stupid little monkey. 01:30:27.440 --> 01:30:29.841 Good night. 01:30:32.520 --> 01:30:34.682 Come on, guys! We got to get out! 01:30:34.760 --> 01:30:36.125 Let's go! 01:30:38.160 --> 01:30:39.924 Lenny! Baby. 01:30:40.000 --> 01:30:42.241 - Baby, are you all right? - I'm coming for you, Leonard! 01:30:43.360 --> 01:30:46.284 I'm here for you, Leonard. I'm here for you. 01:30:46.360 --> 01:30:48.328 Who... Who are you? 01:30:48.400 --> 01:30:49.890 It's your pretty, shiny Penny. 01:30:51.920 --> 01:30:54.491 Oops, sorry, I kicked your barrette. 01:30:58.280 --> 01:31:00.442 Sorry, honey! 01:31:02.400 --> 01:31:05.563 You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there. 01:31:05.640 --> 01:31:07.051 This is just like high school. 01:31:07.120 --> 01:31:11.011 Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs. 01:31:11.080 --> 01:31:13.082 Except for the drunk part, Mommy. 01:31:15.400 --> 01:31:19.041 All you guys together brings back so many memories. 01:31:19.600 --> 01:31:22.251 - Dickie, is this you and Lenny? - Let's see. 01:31:22.400 --> 01:31:24.562 Yeah, me and Hollywood were best friends in kindergarten. 01:31:24.640 --> 01:31:25.926 - Yep. - What happened? 01:31:26.040 --> 01:31:28.560 What do you mean, "What happened?" We were in different classes. 01:31:28.600 --> 01:31:29.886 We kind of drifted apart, right? 01:31:29.960 --> 01:31:32.122 Yeah. He was in those smart classes. 01:31:32.200 --> 01:31:33.690 I was in the other classes. 01:31:36.320 --> 01:31:37.651 Hey, who's this guy? 01:31:37.760 --> 01:31:39.683 - Anybody remember him? - Who is that? 01:31:39.760 --> 01:31:40.841 Wow, what happened to that kid? 01:31:40.920 --> 01:31:42.206 He's still here. 01:31:45.560 --> 01:31:47.927 Why do I know my new kid's gonna end up looking like that? 01:31:48.000 --> 01:31:50.321 - You're having a baby, Lenny? - Yeah. 01:31:50.440 --> 01:31:51.930 Yeah, so I'm told, Mrs. Lamonsoff. 01:31:52.120 --> 01:31:53.770 A surprise, huh? 01:31:53.840 --> 01:31:55.171 Yes. 01:31:55.280 --> 01:31:58.887 People today try to plan things out so much. 01:31:58.960 --> 01:32:02.169 But don't think an unexpected child is loved any less 01:32:02.240 --> 01:32:04.481 than one you planned for. 01:32:05.120 --> 01:32:08.567 Someday, Lenny, you won't even remember what life was like with just three children. 01:32:09.960 --> 01:32:11.883 You think we wanted Eric? 01:32:11.960 --> 01:32:13.450 - He was an accident. - Mama. 01:32:13.520 --> 01:32:16.649 His father and I were in the men's room at a Patriots game... 01:32:16.760 --> 01:32:18.888 You know what, I think I'm just gonna turn the page here. 01:32:18.960 --> 01:32:21.042 I'm turning the page. 01:32:21.120 --> 01:32:22.565 Finish the story! 01:32:33.040 --> 01:32:36.203 Officer Dante's passed out on our lawn. 01:32:36.320 --> 01:32:39.802 I know. I saw him trying to arrest an anthill. 01:32:42.880 --> 01:32:44.962 Want to talk about the whole pregnancy thing? 01:32:48.160 --> 01:32:50.049 It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow. 01:32:50.120 --> 01:32:51.360 Okay. 01:32:51.440 --> 01:32:54.762 Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make this between me and the baby. 01:33:02.160 --> 01:33:04.208 Hello in there. 01:33:04.640 --> 01:33:06.244 This is your daddy speaking. 01:33:08.080 --> 01:33:11.368 I just want to tell you welcome to the family, 01:33:11.480 --> 01:33:14.882 and I love you very, very, very much. 01:33:15.200 --> 01:33:19.046 I really don't care if you're a boy or girl. 01:33:20.000 --> 01:33:22.970 I just need you to promise me one thing. 01:33:23.400 --> 01:33:27.200 When you're in elementary school, study ballet, 01:33:27.280 --> 01:33:30.011 so I can see that teacher as much as possible. 01:33:30.360 --> 01:33:31.327 Hey- 01:33:31.400 --> 01:33:33.323 I knew that was coming. 01:33:35.240 --> 01:33:38.801 To be honest, I don't need no stinking ballet teacher. 01:33:39.040 --> 01:33:41.884 I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world, 01:33:41.960 --> 01:33:43.200 your mommy. 01:33:43.880 --> 01:33:47.362 Are you saying sweet things to me because you want to fool around? 01:33:47.680 --> 01:33:50.445 That would be a nice way to kick off the summer. 01:33:50.560 --> 01:33:53.689 Okay, Mr. Romantic. 01:33:54.040 --> 01:33:55.804 But let's do this quick, 01:33:55.880 --> 01:33:57.723 we have a big day tomorrow, okay? 01:33:57.800 --> 01:33:59.006 Absolutely. 01:33:59.080 --> 01:34:00.844 Watch your head in there. 01:34:07.000 --> 01:34:09.321 Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry, honey. 01:34:09.400 --> 01:34:12.563 Don't move. Don't move. Oh, my God, I'm going to! 01:34:15.080 --> 01:34:19.768 I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes! 01:34:19.880 --> 01:34:21.484 Lenny, grow up! 01:34:21.560 --> 01:34:23.927 I did it for the baby!