0:01:11.600,0:01:13.364
Sweetheart.
0:01:15.120,0:01:17.407
Go over to the window right now
0:01:17.480,0:01:20.962
and open it as wide as you can.
0:01:21.160,0:01:24.004
Please let me sleep.
0:01:35.160,0:01:38.767
I think your mother's here from Mexico,
0:01:38.840,0:01:41.605
and she needs to leave.
0:01:41.680,0:01:44.684
Open the window now.
0:01:44.840,0:01:47.446
Why don't you open it, you lazy...
0:01:51.520,0:01:52.931
Somebody help!
0:01:55.000,0:01:56.650
Close your mouth!
0:02:02.320,0:02:04.607
No way. Can I ride him?
0:02:21.840,0:02:23.444
A deer!
0:02:33.520,0:02:35.522
Okay.
0:02:39.560,0:02:44.043
Daddy, I left the front door open[br]in case any animals wanted to come in.
0:02:44.120,0:02:45.485
- You did, huh?[br]- And one did.
0:02:45.600,0:02:47.329
- Yeah.[br]- Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
0:02:47.400,0:02:50.210
No, you did a nice thing, sweetheart.
0:02:50.280,0:02:52.009
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
0:02:52.080,0:02:55.004
- Daddy, no![br]- No, no, I'm not going to hit the deer.
0:02:55.080,0:02:57.970
I'm just going to massage his head[br]for a little bit with it.
0:02:58.040,0:03:00.122
Okay, come on, come on.
0:03:06.880,0:03:08.245
He's right here.
0:03:08.320,0:03:10.163
He's eating Bowser's food.
0:03:11.440,0:03:12.885
Okay, he knows we're here now.
0:03:12.960,0:03:15.122
Stay. Stay.
0:03:16.480,0:03:18.369
What's he looking at?
0:03:19.920,0:03:21.888
Move your doll towards me.
0:03:21.960,0:03:23.121
And back to you.
0:03:24.120,0:03:25.929
Towards me.
0:03:26.000,0:03:27.809
Back to you.
0:03:27.880,0:03:29.166
Three times, fast.
0:03:32.320,0:03:33.810
Give me that thing.
0:03:33.880,0:03:36.565
- Mr. Gigglesworth?[br]- No, don't worry. Give it to me.
0:03:36.640,0:03:38.688
- Go on. It's okay. It's okay.[br]- Put it in my hand.
0:03:38.760,0:03:40.171
Roxanne, take them in there.
0:03:40.280,0:03:42.009
Over there.
0:03:42.080,0:03:45.163
Hey, dude. You like this guy?
0:03:46.720,0:03:47.960
You want to play with him?
0:03:48.720,0:03:51.883
All right, let's go play in the other room.
0:03:52.000,0:03:54.810
Come on. Come on, man.
0:03:55.000,0:03:56.411
Slowly walk with me.
0:03:56.480,0:03:58.084
I said slowly.
0:03:58.160,0:03:59.161
No.
0:04:00.960,0:04:02.007
Get out of the way!
0:04:03.800,0:04:05.768
Oh, my God!
0:04:08.160,0:04:10.003
Problem solved.
0:04:11.920,0:04:14.321
Mr. Gigglesworth! Daddy, he's killing him!
0:04:14.640,0:04:16.369
A new problem begins.
0:04:16.760,0:04:18.204
I'm sorry.
0:04:18.680,0:04:20.170
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
0:04:22.480,0:04:24.244
Easy.
0:04:26.480,0:04:27.606
It is nice.
0:04:27.680,0:04:29.284
- Thank you, all right.[br]- Cool, yeah.
0:04:29.360,0:04:30.600
Yeah, come on.
0:04:34.000,0:04:36.002
28?
0:04:37.360,0:04:39.442
Yes.
0:04:41.600,0:04:43.443
35.
0:04:43.600,0:04:46.968
That's right again, smarty-pants.
0:04:47.200,0:04:48.281
Hi, Dad.
0:04:48.360,0:04:51.125
- Hey, Bean, working on the math, huh?[br]- Yep.
0:04:51.200,0:04:54.283
Mommy said[br]if I get all my math questions right,
0:04:54.560,0:04:56.847
I get to ride my bike to school[br]with Becky Feder.
0:04:56.960,0:05:01.124
Really? Okay, Bean, well,[br]what's seven plus nine?
0:05:01.200,0:05:02.725
Seventy-nine.
0:05:03.680,0:05:07.890
Is he a little boy or a computer?[br]'Cause I can't figure it out.
0:05:08.240,0:05:10.641
Don't destroy his confidence.
0:05:10.720,0:05:12.324
Happy summer, everybody.
0:05:14.760,0:05:17.525
Okay, you sure you want to go[br]with those boots, honey?
0:05:17.600,0:05:19.329
I know you bedazzled them yourself.
0:05:19.400,0:05:21.243
I'm just wondering if they'll attract
0:05:21.320,0:05:24.324
too much attention,[br]you know, from outer space.
0:05:24.400,0:05:26.164
It's the last day of school,
0:05:26.240,0:05:27.924
and Mom says I'm free to express myself.
0:05:28.080,0:05:31.482
Building the confidence[br]right here with R2-D2.
0:05:32.000,0:05:35.607
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
0:05:35.680,0:05:36.681
Confidence.
0:05:36.760,0:05:38.205
Well, we're not gonna have to[br]pay for college.
0:05:38.280,0:05:40.089
That's for sure.
0:05:40.160,0:05:42.686
Looks like a horse[br]took a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
0:05:43.840,0:05:46.047
You're gonna need federal aid[br]to clean that up.
0:05:46.120,0:05:49.602
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo grenade[br]go off in your diaper?
0:05:49.680,0:05:52.524
- You gonna change it?[br]- That's not my son, that's your son.
0:05:52.600,0:05:55.490
Yesterday was my diaper day.
0:05:55.560,0:05:59.451
Today he is all yours,[br]and it's gonna get nasty.
0:06:00.480,0:06:02.289
Go, Ronnie.
0:06:02.360,0:06:04.203
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.[br]- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
0:06:04.280,0:06:05.520
He looks like Nicki Minaj
0:06:05.600,0:06:08.080
trying to shake her butt implants[br]back into place.
0:06:08.160,0:06:10.731
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.[br]- Come on, Ronnie.
0:06:10.800,0:06:12.040
Go, Ronnie.
0:06:12.120,0:06:13.724
You got a lot of[br]appointments today, sweetie?
0:06:13.800,0:06:15.404
Nah, just one repair job.
0:06:15.520,0:06:16.806
Very special.
0:06:16.880,0:06:18.564
All right, I'm going in.
0:06:20.560,0:06:22.562
What is...
0:06:26.160,0:06:28.970
What is this?
0:06:30.000,0:06:31.604
A necklace?
0:06:31.960,0:06:34.247
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
0:06:34.320,0:06:36.368
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
0:06:38.280,0:06:40.328
Yeah.
0:06:41.440,0:06:43.488
Mom didn't.
0:06:43.640,0:06:46.086
That's cold.
0:06:46.480,0:06:48.608
I think I'm gonna bust out of here.
0:06:48.720,0:06:50.609
So he gets off the train[br]and nobody's there?
0:06:50.720,0:06:52.768
Braden needs to spend[br]at least one summer with you
0:06:52.840,0:06:56.242
so he can say he has a dad,[br]you deadbeat, Higgins.
0:06:56.320,0:06:57.651
Well, not to be mean,
0:06:57.720,0:07:00.371
but I'm not even 1,000% sure who you are.
0:07:00.880,0:07:02.769
I was up from Florida.
0:07:02.840,0:07:07.084
Right in the middle of making out,[br]I got a really bad case of the hiccups.
0:07:07.160,0:07:09.162
Hiccups McGee?
0:07:09.280,0:07:13.683
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't[br]know about with Hiccups McGee?
0:07:13.760,0:07:15.489
And no offense, but I'm gonna have to ask
0:07:15.560,0:07:16.766
for a DNA test, you know,
0:07:16.840,0:07:19.366
because you just never...
0:07:21.120,0:07:23.168
No need.
0:07:23.240,0:07:24.890
Later, Hiccups.
0:07:37.920,0:07:39.365
You're him.
0:07:39.680,0:07:41.489
Yeah, without the hat.
0:07:41.560,0:07:43.767
It's actually a good likeness.
0:07:43.840,0:07:46.207
How you doing, man?
0:07:47.440,0:07:48.566
I'm your dad.
0:07:48.840,0:07:51.411
Nice to see you, Braden.
0:07:51.720,0:07:53.404
That's strike one.
0:07:54.480,0:07:56.130
Good news is, you get...
0:07:56.200,0:07:58.009
Unlimited amount of strikes.
0:07:59.520,0:08:01.204
How about I take you to school?
0:08:01.600,0:08:03.443
No school.
0:08:03.520,0:08:05.170
Summertime.
0:08:05.240,0:08:07.925
Not yet. One more day. I know, it's a drag.
0:08:08.000,0:08:10.571
Normally I'd let you just blow it off[br]and play hooky,
0:08:10.640,0:08:12.927
but I'm volunteering[br]at the soup kitchen today,
0:08:13.000,0:08:14.570
so when I'm done,
0:08:14.680,0:08:16.921
I'll come pick you up and we'll hang out.
0:08:17.000,0:08:18.445
I got you this, but...
0:08:18.560,0:08:21.723
Obviously you're, like,[br]13, so I don't know,
0:08:21.800,0:08:23.245
but it's actually pretty nice
0:08:23.320,0:08:25.687
and cute,[br]and you should cut the head off it, okay.
0:08:26.640,0:08:29.166
Well, let's get going.
0:08:29.440,0:08:32.409
- Yo, yo, yo, yo, don't forget this.[br]- Is it a gift?
0:08:32.480,0:08:34.687
No, it's the Gigglesworth massacre.
0:08:34.760,0:08:36.922
I told Becky you could[br]sew it back together for her.
0:08:37.000,0:08:38.206
What?
0:08:38.280,0:08:40.203
Martha Stewart couldn't fix this.
0:08:40.280,0:08:41.405
Come on.
0:08:41.480,0:08:45.371
But you're such a good daddy[br]for picking up all the pieces.
0:08:45.440,0:08:47.090
That's why I've been thinking,
0:08:47.160,0:08:48.730
we moved back here to your hometown
0:08:48.840,0:08:51.411
so we could have more quality[br]time with our family, right?
0:08:51.480,0:08:52.606
That's right.
0:08:52.920,0:08:56.720
How would you feel about expanding?
0:08:56.800,0:08:58.962
- Having another kid?[br]- Yeah.
0:08:59.120,0:09:02.727
But it's perfect right now, you know?
0:09:02.800,0:09:05.246
If I buy one large pizza,[br]Greg gets two pieces,
0:09:05.320,0:09:07.971
Keith gets two, Becky gets one,[br]you get one, I get four.
0:09:08.040,0:09:09.280
It's kind of perfect, you know.
0:09:09.400,0:09:11.001
I don't want to have to buy another pie.
0:09:12.360,0:09:14.567
Why don't you go on a diet, fat gordo éste?
0:09:14.680,0:09:16.489
Come on, I've had a job since I'm 16.
0:09:16.560,0:09:18.483
It's the first time I've[br]got a free schedule.
0:09:18.560,0:09:20.085
I'm just enjoying the fun.
0:09:20.160,0:09:22.766
Don't forget Becky's[br]ballet recital at 11:00.
0:09:22.960,0:09:24.724
I got to go to that?
0:09:24.800,0:09:27.007
I mean, I get to go to that? Great.
0:09:27.200,0:09:30.841
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.[br]That's great news.
0:09:31.160,0:09:34.004
Have the best last day of[br]school, my gorgeous children!
0:09:34.080,0:09:35.366
I love you all!
0:09:35.440,0:09:36.885
- Bye, Mom, bye.[br]- Bye, Mom.
0:09:36.960,0:09:38.291
Yeah, last day of school, Greg.
0:09:39.160,0:09:41.128
Last chance to ask out Nancy Arbuckle.
0:09:41.200,0:09:43.248
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?[br]You like a girl?
0:09:43.320,0:09:45.800
Is that why you've been taking[br]them long showers?
0:09:45.880,0:09:47.450
No, I'm conditioning my hair.
0:09:47.520,0:09:50.091
That's all I do in the shower...[br]Condition my hair.
0:09:50.160,0:09:51.400
That's not what the deer told me.
0:09:51.480,0:09:52.686
That deer's a liar.
0:09:54.040,0:09:57.123
I heard too much conditioning[br]can make you go blind.
0:09:57.240,0:09:58.571
What? Where'd you hear that?
0:09:58.640,0:10:00.927
- Higgins.[br]- I should kill him.
0:10:01.280,0:10:04.602
He's too chicken to ask her out, Dad,[br]'cause she's the hottest girl in school,
0:10:04.680,0:10:05.761
and Greg is fugly.
0:10:05.840,0:10:08.286
So what he's fugly?[br]All the guys in our family are fugly.
0:10:08.360,0:10:10.249
That don't stop us from[br]getting the hot chicks.
0:10:10.320,0:10:13.290
Look at me and look at your mother.[br]I mean, it makes no sense.
0:10:13.360,0:10:14.964
Only in, like, a Hollywood[br]movie or something.
0:10:15.040,0:10:16.769
Every guy in school likes her, Dad.
0:10:16.880,0:10:18.086
And you'll be the guy who ends up with her.
0:10:18.160,0:10:20.925
You know why?[br]You're gonna follow my three-step program.
0:10:21.000,0:10:23.446
Number one, make the girl smile.
0:10:23.560,0:10:25.801
Number two, tell her she has a nice smile.
0:10:25.880,0:10:29.282
Number three, say she has to[br]go out with you that night.
0:10:29.360,0:10:30.327
Why that night?
0:10:30.440,0:10:32.727
'Cause it gives her less time[br]to think about how fugly you are.
0:10:32.840,0:10:33.966
'Cause you are fugly.
0:10:34.040,0:10:35.769
That's the stupidest thing I ever heard.
0:10:35.840,0:10:39.128
And Keithie's right...[br]I'm too chicken to even talk to her.
0:10:39.240,0:10:42.164
Hey, you're a Feder.[br]Feders ain't afraid of women, buddy.
0:10:42.240,0:10:43.924
That's not the way I'm raising you.
0:10:44.000,0:10:46.201
By the way, Dad, did you[br]ask Mom if I can play football?
0:10:46.240,0:10:47.605
No, I was scared.
0:10:47.680,0:10:50.729
I'm afraid she's gonna yell at me[br]in that accent that no one understands.
0:10:50.800,0:10:52.723
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
0:10:52.920,0:10:54.365
School starts at 8:15.
0:10:54.440,0:10:57.569
That means we only have 25 minutes.
0:11:00.040,0:11:03.806
Daddy, you promise[br]Mr. Gigglesworth will be better by bedtime?
0:11:03.880,0:11:06.486
Will you stop worrying about him?[br]He'll be fine. I love you.
0:11:06.600,0:11:08.329
- Have the best last day, okay?[br]- Okay.
0:11:08.400,0:11:09.561
- Bye, guys.[br]- Bye, Daddy.
0:11:09.640,0:11:11.847
- Love you.[br]- And you read the street signs, okay?
0:11:11.920,0:11:13.081
Don't let Bean.
0:11:13.200,0:11:16.204
My God, riding their bikes to school.
0:11:16.320,0:11:18.891
Couldn't do that in L.A.[br]with the nuts out there.
0:11:18.960,0:11:21.770
Yeah, 'cause thank God[br]there's no crazy people out here.
0:11:28.280,0:11:29.520
How you doing, Nick?
0:11:29.680,0:11:33.048
My wife's leaving me after three weeks.
0:11:33.120,0:11:35.521
Three weeks? That's not bad for you.
0:11:35.600,0:11:37.045
What happened?
0:11:37.120,0:11:40.488
She found me eating a banana with my butt.
0:11:40.720,0:11:42.404
And she didn't like that?
0:11:42.480,0:11:44.562
Yeah, she got really bummed out,
0:11:44.680,0:11:47.729
but, you know, I shouldn't have[br]done it at her mom's house.
0:11:47.800,0:11:51.202
Yeah, you... You seem like you're[br]a little extra out of it today.
0:11:51.280,0:11:52.361
What's going on?
0:11:52.480,0:11:53.811
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
0:11:53.880,0:11:56.884
I met a very reliable doctor[br]at a Cypress Hill concert,
0:11:56.960,0:11:59.770
and he floated me a couple pills[br]just to feel better, you know.
0:11:59.840,0:12:00.841
But I don't feel better!
0:12:00.920,0:12:02.570
You feel worse!
0:12:08.840,0:12:12.162
Ladies and gentlemen,[br]meet your new bus driver.
0:12:13.640,0:12:15.324
Finally got yourself a job.
0:12:15.400,0:12:17.687
Actually I'm filling in for[br]Drool-io Iglesias back there.
0:12:23.000,0:12:24.889
Hey, Deanne, happy anniversary.
0:12:25.200,0:12:27.202
Thank you, Lenny.
0:12:27.360,0:12:30.091
Lenny remembered. Isn't that sweet?
0:12:30.160,0:12:32.766
- And I never got him pregnant.[br]- She forgot?
0:12:32.880,0:12:35.247
- Yeah, she forgot.[br]- No.
0:12:35.320,0:12:37.641
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free card[br]in the world.
0:12:37.720,0:12:39.210
I want one of those.
0:12:39.320,0:12:40.810
You ain't never get one like this.[br]Hey, honey,
0:12:40.880,0:12:43.087
I'm gonna take a ride to work with Lenny.
0:12:43.160,0:12:46.562
Don't worry about forgetting the 20th.[br]I'm sure you'll remember the 30th.
0:12:46.840,0:12:48.808
I love you.
0:12:48.880,0:12:51.611
Yeah, sure you do... Deep down.
0:12:58.080,0:13:00.651
That's not another[br]necklace in there, is it?
0:13:04.200,0:13:06.680
I'm gonna abuse this[br]get-out-of-jail-free card,
0:13:06.760,0:13:08.125
I'm telling you right now.
0:13:08.200,0:13:12.046
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good rug[br]without taking off my boots.
0:13:12.120,0:13:15.442
Or have a nice non-diet[br]soda with my dinner.
0:13:15.520,0:13:18.410
Not just one, either, a whole damn pitcher.
0:13:18.480,0:13:20.403
- So you're going full gangsta.[br]- Yeah.
0:13:20.480,0:13:22.130
But you know what I'd really like to do?
0:13:22.200,0:13:23.645
Throw a "first night of summer" party.
0:13:23.720,0:13:25.131
- Yeah.[br]- You know, something a little crazy.
0:13:25.240,0:13:28.244
Well, it's been many, many years[br]since we've done something crazy.
0:13:28.320,0:13:29.685
Just one problem, though.
0:13:29.760,0:13:31.410
My house isn't big enough.
0:13:31.480,0:13:33.084
But yours is.
0:13:33.160,0:13:35.731
Last party I had[br]was senior year in high school.
0:13:35.800,0:13:37.723
Yeah, that was, like, the[br]best night of my life.
0:13:37.800,0:13:38.801
We all hooked up with chicks.
0:13:38.920,0:13:40.649
Come on, why not do that again?
0:13:40.720,0:13:45.442
Because we already have chicks and kids[br]and high cholesterol now, so just...
0:13:45.520,0:13:47.568
It's time to move on.[br]You want to come over tonight with Dee,
0:13:47.680,0:13:48.841
that's fine... I think.
0:13:48.920,0:13:50.160
I got to ask my wife first.
0:13:50.240,0:13:52.163
Okay, gangsta.
0:13:52.240,0:13:57.007
Hey, hey, where'd you get[br]those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
0:13:57.080,0:13:58.161
I made them.
0:13:58.240,0:13:59.685
You made them?
0:13:59.760,0:14:01.285
In a toilet?
0:14:02.760,0:14:04.683
That kid's like White Precious.
0:14:06.080,0:14:07.047
Get lost, Duffy.
0:14:07.120,0:14:08.485
Yeah, leave her alone.
0:14:08.560,0:14:10.528
Hey, what'd you say, Hollywood?
0:14:10.600,0:14:13.206
- You got something to say to me?[br]- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
0:14:13.280,0:14:16.443
Attention, Kmart shoppers,[br]let's find a seat, please.
0:14:16.520,0:14:17.851
Yes, you in the camouflage jacket
0:14:17.960,0:14:19.610
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
0:14:19.680,0:14:22.081
Yeah, just pop a squat, thank you.
0:14:22.160,0:14:25.528
You're lucky your dad's here,[br]but he won't be here all day.
0:14:25.600,0:14:26.601
Leave me alone.
0:14:26.680,0:14:28.728
Beanbag with arms and legs,
0:14:28.800,0:14:30.086
seriously, take a seat,
0:14:30.160,0:14:32.083
or seats, before someone gets hurt.
0:14:33.320,0:14:35.163
You're dead, man.
0:14:45.840,0:14:47.763
I'm gonna go get some things done,
0:14:47.840,0:14:50.684
and then I'm gonna go[br]to my daughter's ballet recital,
0:14:50.760,0:14:52.728
so you're on your own until lunchtime.
0:14:52.800,0:14:54.962
No worries. No one will come in anyway.
0:14:56.880,0:14:58.882
Right.
0:14:59.000,0:15:02.447
Does Leonard ever talk about me?
0:15:02.520,0:15:03.931
Leonard?
0:15:04.000,0:15:05.001
Your husband.
0:15:05.080,0:15:06.650
Lenny.
0:15:06.720,0:15:10.008
I probably should have told you this[br]before I started working here,
0:15:10.080,0:15:13.084
but he used to be my boyfriend.
0:15:16.720,0:15:18.802
When did you guys go out?
0:15:18.880,0:15:19.961
Sixth grade.
0:15:20.560,0:15:21.607
This one time,
0:15:21.680,0:15:25.526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
0:15:29.000,0:15:30.604
I brought in a note
0:15:30.680,0:15:35.129
that he sent me, and I[br]thought you should see it.
0:15:35.200,0:15:38.044
I just felt weird having a secret with you.
0:15:41.040,0:15:45.284
"Do you like my hair better[br]in a barrette or a headband?"
0:15:45.360,0:15:46.486
That's what I wrote.
0:15:46.560,0:15:48.289
"Barrette."
0:15:48.360,0:15:50.249
And that was his response.
0:15:54.720,0:15:56.688
Does it bother you that I still wear it?
0:15:56.760,0:16:00.321
No, no, no, I think it's sweet.
0:16:02.800,0:16:04.882
I think he still has feelings for me.
0:16:05.200,0:16:06.884
I'm gonna go work out now.
0:16:06.960,0:16:09.486
Do you really think that[br]a tight, toned body
0:16:09.560,0:16:11.801
will keep him away[br]from his Hubba Bubba baby?
0:16:11.880,0:16:15.009
I hope so. Bye.
0:16:15.200,0:16:17.487
You just messed with the wrong girl, chica!
0:16:21.120,0:16:23.487
They spray-painted my baby.
0:16:23.560,0:16:25.164
Gee, and everything's spelled right.
0:16:25.240,0:16:26.969
These can't be my students.
0:16:31.240,0:16:33.766
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
0:16:33.840,0:16:36.491
Hey, guys, can you believe this?
0:16:36.560,0:16:38.403
Calendar turns to June,
0:16:38.480,0:16:40.926
my wonderful students,[br]they become animals.
0:16:41.000,0:16:42.604
Maybe they're just mad that you keep going
0:16:42.680,0:16:44.170
to the babyGap to buy your clothes.
0:16:44.240,0:16:46.163
Hey, Principal Tardio, good morning.
0:16:46.240,0:16:48.004
Right to class, right to class.
0:16:48.080,0:16:50.845
How was your last ride in[br]before the summer, Nick?
0:16:53.440,0:16:55.408
Remember, today is only a half a day.
0:16:55.480,0:16:57.209
- And a half a shirt, right?[br]- What?
0:16:57.280,0:16:59.123
- I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.[br]- Okay.
0:16:59.200,0:17:02.568
- Here he goes.[br]- I'm excited about the summer, too.
0:17:02.640,0:17:04.722
Hey, that's my laptop![br]That's not waterproof!
0:17:04.800,0:17:07.531
- Monkey boy, monkey boy.[br]- Summer!
0:17:07.599,0:17:09.602
- Monkey boy.[br]- Summer!
0:17:09.680,0:17:12.444
Summer! Summer!
0:17:13.760,0:17:15.603
So, what do you think?
0:17:15.720,0:17:17.290
Do I take you straight to work?
0:17:17.359,0:17:22.048
I got one appointment I got to get to[br]sometime between 8:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m.
0:17:22.119,0:17:23.201
- Okay.[br]- But she can wait.
0:17:23.280,0:17:25.442
Good. And look at this.
0:17:25.520,0:17:27.284
He's back at it again.
0:17:27.480,0:17:28.811
Why isn't he at work?
0:17:28.880,0:17:34.011
He's just... This woman has a grip on him. [br]It's ridiculous. It's gonna ruin his marriage.
0:17:34.960,0:17:36.769
Thank you for breakfast, Mommy.
0:17:36.840,0:17:39.844
Will you be coming by to watch[br]Days of Our Lives later?
0:17:39.960,0:17:43.442
Well, we got to find out which[br]twin murdered Renaldo, right?
0:17:43.520,0:17:44.806
We sure do.
0:17:46.400,0:17:48.050
- Okay.[br]- Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
0:17:48.120,0:17:49.121
good to see you.
0:17:49.200,0:17:51.407
Nice school bus, Lenny.
0:17:51.480,0:17:53.164
Thank you. Have a great day.
0:17:53.240,0:17:55.049
Did Mommy make the boo-boo go away?
0:17:55.120,0:17:56.849
Don't tell the wife.
0:17:56.920,0:17:58.046
What are you guys doing?
0:17:58.120,0:17:59.849
Get in.
0:18:00.960,0:18:02.962
Oh, hey, Nick.
0:18:03.040,0:18:04.121
Nice. Nice.
0:18:04.200,0:18:05.565
Let's hit it.
0:18:05.640,0:18:07.483
Watch this.
0:18:11.160,0:18:13.447
- Wow.[br]- You got to respect that.
0:18:13.520,0:18:14.521
That was awesome.
0:18:15.560,0:18:18.848
What's Lenny's problem?[br]They're so cute when they're little.
0:18:19.000,0:18:21.128
I know. I miss it.
0:18:21.200,0:18:23.771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
0:18:26.360,0:18:28.044
You miss that? Really?
0:18:28.560,0:18:30.562
Stay. Stay.
0:18:30.640,0:18:31.926
Don't you growl at me.
0:18:32.000,0:18:33.081
Stay, baby, Stay-
0:18:33.160,0:18:34.286
Excuse me.
0:18:34.360,0:18:36.442
Is your kid gonna be in here[br]when the instructor comes in?
0:18:36.520,0:18:37.965
That's not my kid.
0:18:38.040,0:18:40.850
That's my lover, and he's very gentle.
0:18:43.520,0:18:45.602
Kids don't belong in here.
0:18:45.680,0:18:47.364
That leash better not trip me up.
0:18:47.480,0:18:48.925
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
0:18:49.000,0:18:52.083
It's your big-ass, hairy man feet[br]that are gonna trip you up.
0:18:53.840,0:18:55.729
She was just joking around, sir.
0:18:56.720,0:18:58.484
Cool it. You're gonna get us killed.
0:18:58.560,0:19:01.086
I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day.
0:19:01.200,0:19:03.407
Welcome to Squat Fitness, ladies.
0:19:03.640,0:19:06.644
Apparently your new instructor's[br]running a bit late.
0:19:06.720,0:19:08.484
I'm sorry. It's only five till...
0:19:08.560,0:19:11.404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead you[br]in some warm-up exercises.
0:19:11.520,0:19:14.649
So, everybody, up on your feet,
0:19:14.720,0:19:17.291
and let's take a deep breath.
0:19:17.360,0:19:18.646
Good.
0:19:18.760,0:19:20.967
Deeper... Really stretch out those lungs.
0:19:21.040,0:19:22.201
And now let's shimmy.
0:19:22.280,0:19:23.680
Shake the shoulders back and forth.
0:19:23.720,0:19:25.449
Shake them.
0:19:25.560,0:19:27.244
Very good, very good.
0:19:27.320,0:19:29.926
Yeah, oh, yeah.
0:19:30.000,0:19:32.446
Now let's do some jackhammer squats.
0:19:32.640,0:19:35.007
Right, put your hands[br]in front of you like this. Just relax.
0:19:35.080,0:19:36.923
And then squat up and down but fast.
0:19:37.000,0:19:38.570
Faster, faster, there you go.
0:19:38.640,0:19:39.641
Really fast.
0:19:39.720,0:19:41.324
Faster, faster.
0:19:41.400,0:19:43.243
Too fast. Do it a little slower.
0:19:43.320,0:19:44.606
Now, everybody turn,
0:19:44.680,0:19:47.126
face the back of the room, bend over,
0:19:47.200,0:19:48.690
and reach for your toes.
0:19:48.760,0:19:49.807
Why do we have to turn around?
0:19:49.880,0:19:51.041
If you please.
0:19:52.120,0:19:55.727
And bend over as low as you can go.
0:19:55.840,0:19:59.447
Now take the right hand and[br]slap it against the right cheek.
0:19:59.680,0:20:02.365
Relax the wrist and slap[br]that right butt, slap it.
0:20:02.600,0:20:05.251
Good, I want to hear that slap.
0:20:05.320,0:20:07.687
Yes, this is wonderful.
0:20:07.880,0:20:10.042
Morning, ladies.
0:20:10.120,0:20:11.565
You started without me?
0:20:11.640,0:20:13.802
Yes, just like you asked me to.
0:20:14.200,0:20:16.362
Say it's true even if it isn't.
0:20:16.440,0:20:18.169
What?
0:20:18.240,0:20:21.005
You loved it! You loved it!
0:20:23.960,0:20:25.883
Yeah, that's my boy.
0:20:25.960,0:20:28.327
- All right.[br]- You're all prostitutes!
0:20:28.480,0:20:30.448
Anyway. I'm Kyle,
0:20:30.520,0:20:34.366
and welcome to the summer[br]session of Squatrobics 101.
0:20:34.440,0:20:38.206
I wish they called it something else,[br]but that's what they told me to say.
0:20:38.280,0:20:42.001
Okay, so, before we start for real,
0:20:42.080,0:20:43.206
any questions?
0:20:43.280,0:20:44.566
Yes.
0:20:44.680,0:20:45.966
Are you married?
0:20:46.040,0:20:47.121
No.
0:20:47.200,0:20:48.361
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
0:20:48.440,0:20:50.169
Yeah.
0:20:50.240,0:20:54.564
I forgot.[br]You're so gorgeous, my head is spinning.
0:20:54.640,0:20:55.926
I'm sorry. God.
0:20:56.840,0:20:58.046
Go ahead.
0:20:58.120,0:21:02.205
I have a very important question,[br]and it's a two-parter.
0:21:02.320,0:21:05.688
The first part of the question is,[br]"Did a scientist make you in a lab?"
0:21:05.760,0:21:07.444
And the second part of the question is,
0:21:07.520,0:21:09.841
"Can I stick my tongue[br]down your throat, please?"
0:21:09.920,0:21:13.606
All right, guys, look,[br]I'm flattered. Really, I am,
0:21:13.680,0:21:17.605
but most of you are married[br]and I happen to be gay.
0:21:19.360,0:21:20.486
Of course he is.
0:21:20.560,0:21:22.210
- All of 'em.[br]- That sucks!
0:21:22.280,0:21:23.486
What a waste!
0:21:23.560,0:21:24.971
Stay out of my bag, little man.
0:21:25.320,0:21:27.084
Why does she have this?
0:21:27.160,0:21:29.367
That's not a jock strap,[br]that's a G-string.
0:21:53.720,0:21:55.006
Well, well, well,
0:21:55.080,0:21:56.684
if it isn't Hollywood
0:21:56.760,0:21:59.161
and the Squares.
0:21:59.240,0:22:01.481
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't[br]know you worked at Kmart,
0:22:01.560,0:22:04.325
and apparently the hair on top of your head[br]didn't know it, either.
0:22:04.400,0:22:05.561
What?
0:22:05.640,0:22:06.846
Do me a favor, go like this.
0:22:06.920,0:22:08.604
I think I got something in my teeth.
0:22:08.720,0:22:10.006
- What?[br]- You know,
0:22:10.080,0:22:13.482
next time, you should use[br]that Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
0:22:13.600,0:22:14.840
What?
0:22:14.920,0:22:15.887
Why is Higgins buying
0:22:15.960,0:22:17.371
O.J.'s knife right now?
0:22:17.480,0:22:19.608
- You think you're tough?[br]- Hey, Malcolm,
0:22:19.680,0:22:22.286
is that the knife the Indians[br]used to half-scalp you with?
0:22:22.400,0:22:23.606
I don't even get that.
0:22:23.680,0:22:24.966
What?
0:22:25.040,0:22:26.121
Come on, let's cheer him up
0:22:26.240,0:22:27.526
Benny Hill-style. Here we go.
0:22:27.600,0:22:28.726
Come On, come On, come On, come On...
0:22:28.800,0:22:29.961
Does that make you feel better?
0:22:30.040,0:22:33.840
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,[br]how'd it go with the kid?
0:22:33.920,0:22:35.684
Good, good. He's in school.
0:22:35.760,0:22:37.683
Kid's in school for one day?
0:22:37.760,0:22:40.889
I didn't know what else to do.[br]He's a thug, Lenny.
0:22:40.960,0:22:43.531
He cut the head off a teddy bear.[br]Imagine what he'll do to me.
0:22:43.600,0:22:46.080
So you're gonna buy this[br]to cut his head off?
0:22:46.160,0:22:48.367
No, I just want him to think[br]I'll cut his head off
0:22:48.440,0:22:50.010
so then he won't cut my head off.
0:22:50.080,0:22:53.050
You want to scare a relative[br]without causing permanent injury?
0:22:53.440,0:22:55.647
May I Suggest this?
0:22:59.160,0:23:03.927
Sir? Sir? Can you get off the bed?
0:23:04.000,0:23:05.729
It's wake-up time.
0:23:05.800,0:23:10.408
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up![br]Stop yelling at me.
0:23:10.480,0:23:12.608
Now, why is... Being mean?
0:23:12.680,0:23:16.048
I like sleeping over. It's[br]just you always yell.
0:23:16.120,0:23:18.122
You don't have to yell at me.
0:23:18.200,0:23:20.009
I love you.
0:23:20.080,0:23:21.445
I don't understand.
0:23:24.520,0:23:26.249
Clean-up, aisle nine.
0:23:26.320,0:23:28.766
Get out of me!
0:23:28.840,0:23:31.730
And bring a shovel.
0:23:33.000,0:23:35.367
So, my son Bumpty told me
0:23:35.440,0:23:38.091
he's gonna ask your daughter[br]out on a date at school today.
0:23:38.160,0:23:40.970
First of all, my daughter's[br]never been out on a date before,
0:23:41.040,0:23:43.930
and I'm sure she's not gonna start off[br]with some kid named Bumpty.
0:23:44.000,0:23:46.970
He is the only other[br]black kid in her grade.
0:23:47.040,0:23:48.849
Wait, you want her to date a white guy?
0:23:48.920,0:23:50.445
Yeah, Farrakhan.
0:23:50.520,0:23:52.640
I'd rather she date the whitest[br]white guy in the world
0:23:52.680,0:23:54.762
than your little bald-headed boy.
0:23:55.040,0:23:57.930
All right, but, you know,[br]don't worry when she says yes,
0:23:58.040,0:23:59.690
'cause I already had the talk with him.
0:23:59.760,0:24:01.524
- What talk?[br]- Dating.
0:24:01.600,0:24:04.410
I told him how we used to roll[br]with the ladies in high school.
0:24:04.480,0:24:07.882
You know, beep-beep.
0:24:10.560,0:24:12.801
What?
0:24:12.880,0:24:15.326
I should get some pepper spray for my kid.
0:24:15.400,0:24:17.846
Some moron on the bus[br]keeps messing with him,
0:24:17.920,0:24:19.729
and he refuses to fight back.
0:24:19.800,0:24:22.167
You know, that reminds me[br]of someone I know.
0:24:22.240,0:24:23.685
- Who?[br]- You.
0:24:23.760,0:24:25.683
What are you talking about?[br]I got in plenty of fights.
0:24:25.760,0:24:27.524
Remember ninth grade[br]when Tommy Cavanaugh
0:24:27.600,0:24:29.045
moved here from Texas?
0:24:29.120,0:24:32.602
He nonstop abused you,[br]and you did nothing about it.
0:24:32.680,0:24:34.523
Tommy Cavanaugh was a 'row freak.
0:24:34.600,0:24:36.602
He had back zits on his back zits.
0:24:36.680,0:24:38.284
Plus, he was joking around with me.
0:24:38.360,0:24:41.330
If it was real, I swear to God,[br]I would've knocked him out.
0:24:41.400,0:24:42.606
Hey, isn't that Cavanaugh right there?
0:24:42.680,0:24:44.648
Where?
0:24:45.600,0:24:46.647
Gotcha.
0:24:46.720,0:24:48.848
That was really funny, man, really funny.
0:24:48.920,0:24:52.641
Hey, you weren't exactly Captain Courageous[br]when we were growing up, now, were you?
0:24:52.760,0:24:54.603
Hey, I never backed out of a fight, though.
0:24:54.720,0:24:57.166
Yeah, but did you ever jump[br]off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
0:24:57.240,0:24:58.765
That's right.
0:24:58.840,0:25:00.922
He always came up[br]with a lame excuse not to do it.
0:25:01.000,0:25:02.561
- What are you talking about?[br]- "I can't.
0:25:02.600,0:25:04.887
"I'm on my period. It'll attract sharks."
0:25:05.680,0:25:10.004
Suicide 35 off the top rock.[br]35 feet above the water.
0:25:10.080,0:25:13.323
My mom did that jump[br]when she was pregnant with me.
0:25:22.760,0:25:24.524
There's a raft in there?
0:25:32.240,0:25:34.163
Who did that?
0:25:35.920,0:25:38.764
All right, little birds.[br]Find your nests, man.
0:25:38.960,0:25:42.646
Float down. There we go, and we're in.
0:25:42.720,0:25:43.801
All right, guys,
0:25:43.880,0:25:47.202
normally we don't have exciting news[br]this late into the term,
0:25:47.280,0:25:50.648
but we have a new student joining us today,[br]Braden Higgins.
0:25:50.720,0:25:51.960
Hey, there's an empty seat over there, man.
0:25:52.040,0:25:54.327
Why don't you go cop a squat?
0:25:58.600,0:26:00.568
Or go that way, man.
0:26:00.640,0:26:02.642
Take your own path.
0:26:08.000,0:26:09.923
No.
0:26:10.000,0:26:11.411
I sit here.
0:26:17.480,0:26:19.562
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
0:26:19.680,0:26:22.251
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.[br]He's the funniest.
0:26:22.320,0:26:24.448
The best. Great, great man.
0:26:25.680,0:26:28.490
I want to smash his face.
0:26:28.560,0:26:30.562
- Yeah, me, too.[br]- Yeah, I hate that guy.
0:26:30.640,0:26:32.529
Screw him.
0:26:35.000,0:26:38.766
Yo, Charlotte, hold up, hold up.[br]Question...
0:26:38.840,0:26:41.923
How would you like to spend[br]the first night of summer
0:26:42.000,0:26:44.765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
0:26:45.840,0:26:47.046
What does that mean?
0:26:47.120,0:26:48.610
I think he's asking you out.
0:26:48.680,0:26:49.727
He is?
0:26:49.800,0:26:51.370
You are?
0:26:51.440,0:26:52.965
I don't make stuff up.
0:26:53.040,0:26:55.407
Well, can Donna come?
0:26:55.480,0:26:57.403
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
0:26:57.480,0:26:59.562
No, he didn't. Yes, he did.
0:26:59.680,0:27:03.366
It's okay, Charlotte.[br]It's a date, your first date.
0:27:03.440,0:27:04.566
Just you two.
0:27:06.560,0:27:08.130
All right. I mean,
0:27:08.200,0:27:09.929
I'd have to ask my parents,
0:27:10.000,0:27:12.526
but I think that would be okay.
0:27:12.600,0:27:13.601
Hey, Bumpty.
0:27:13.680,0:27:16.126
You think just because[br]it's the last day of school,
0:27:16.200,0:27:19.283
you can sit and socialize[br]the entire period?
0:27:19.360,0:27:22.443
I don't think about stuff like that,[br]Lady Shorts.
0:27:22.520,0:27:23.726
Well, can you think fast?
0:27:26.400,0:27:29.006
Who wants to watch me climb a rope?
0:27:29.080,0:27:32.402
Yeah!
0:27:34.080,0:27:35.081
You're the man!
0:27:36.400,0:27:40.121
Yo, he's got to put those Easter eggs[br]back in the basket.
0:27:40.200,0:27:41.725
Dang!
0:27:41.800,0:27:43.848
Kelly, I don't want to hear it!
0:27:44.040,0:27:45.769
I can't take it anymore!
0:27:45.840,0:27:48.002
I wish I never had you!
0:27:48.080,0:27:49.764
Stop it! Stop it!
0:27:49.840,0:27:51.808
See, that's why I don't want four kids.
0:27:52.480,0:27:54.244
- Yeah, people with four just lose their minds.[br]- Yeah.
0:27:54.360,0:27:55.600
They're yelling, they're screaming.
0:27:55.680,0:27:57.762
Sometimes they go to jail[br]just to get some sleep.
0:27:57.840,0:28:00.286
Hold up. Hang on.
0:28:00.360,0:28:01.600
I got a burpsnart coming.
0:28:05.440,0:28:07.886
- Come on.[br]- You got to teach me how you do that.
0:28:07.960,0:28:09.450
- A burpsnart? It's simple.[br]- Yeah.
0:28:09.520,0:28:11.170
You just start with a burp,
0:28:11.240,0:28:13.049
then you sniff for a sneeze,[br]you get that going,
0:28:13.120,0:28:14.326
and that triggers a fart, always.
0:28:14.400,0:28:16.641
What's up with this school bus?
0:28:16.720,0:28:19.644
Okay. I stole it.
0:28:19.760,0:28:21.967
What? Put your hands in the air.
0:28:23.880,0:28:27.362
And wave them like you just don't care[br]"ho"
0:28:28.440,0:28:29.441
"ho"
0:28:31.120,0:28:33.168
I heard you're having a[br]party tonight, Lenny.
0:28:33.240,0:28:35.322
What? I'm not having a party.
0:28:35.440,0:28:36.487
Where did you hear that?
0:28:36.560,0:28:39.086
He's a cop. He hears everything.
0:28:39.160,0:28:40.161
Oh, God.
0:28:40.280,0:28:41.964
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
0:28:42.040,0:28:44.160
Look at him getting all serious.[br]I still can't believe
0:28:44.200,0:28:47.044
you're a cop after all the[br]sick stuff you did growing up.
0:28:47.160,0:28:49.731
The Peter Dante who stole[br]your parents' snowmobile
0:28:49.800,0:28:52.644
and sold it to purchase[br]crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
0:28:52.720,0:28:54.404
This side of the law is way better.
0:28:54.480,0:28:57.006
To serve and protect. Got to love it.
0:28:57.080,0:28:59.321
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you[br]assaulted somebody in there.
0:28:59.400,0:29:02.563
I didn't assault anybody.[br]I just choked out your brother.
0:29:02.640,0:29:05.803
Yeah, he deserves it. He's crazy.
0:29:05.880,0:29:08.690
We got five minutes[br]to get to that stupid recital.
0:29:08.760,0:29:10.842
Recital?
0:29:10.920,0:29:13.161
- At McDonough Elementary?[br]- Yes.
0:29:13.240,0:29:15.322
- Can I come?[br]- Why?
0:29:15.440,0:29:17.602
Trust me. Everybody's got to go.
0:29:17.680,0:29:19.409
We got five minutes.[br]We're never gonna make it there.
0:29:19.480,0:29:20.606
You'll get there on time,
0:29:20.680,0:29:23.968
'cause we're gonna give you[br]a four-alarm presidential police escort.
0:29:24.040,0:29:25.280
Isn't that against the law?
0:29:25.360,0:29:27.044
I am the law!
0:29:28.480,0:29:30.528
What's happening?
0:29:45.640,0:29:47.688
Oh, my God! What just happened?
0:29:53.320,0:29:58.281
Welcome, parents,[br]to final performance of school year,
0:29:58.400,0:29:59.401
our June-a-licious
0:29:59.480,0:30:01.767
Dance Spectacular!
0:30:06.640,0:30:08.085
Now, for this year,
0:30:08.200,0:30:09.929
we go throwing a few
0:30:10.000,0:30:11.445
hip-hop moves in there.
0:30:11.520,0:30:13.522
Like this.
0:30:19.920,0:30:22.491
Is fun to dance.
0:30:22.560,0:30:25.040
Let the show begin.
0:30:28.360,0:30:33.127
So nice of you[br]to invite your friends and the bus driver
0:30:33.200,0:30:36.124
and the police force[br]to our daughter's dance recital.
0:30:36.200,0:30:40.603
Yeah, huge ballet fans, all of them.
0:31:03.480,0:31:05.050
She's so cute.
0:31:05.120,0:31:06.640
- So cute.[br]- She's adorable, isn't she?
0:31:06.680,0:31:07.966
She is adorable.
0:31:08.040,0:31:09.610
- Fantastic stuff.[br]- Unbelievable.
0:31:09.720,0:31:11.290
- Look at her go.[br]- I am.
0:31:11.360,0:31:13.283
I'm looking at her.
0:31:24.520,0:31:28.525
I want to arrest her for[br]disturbing the peace.
0:31:28.600,0:31:30.602
In my pants.
0:31:39.280,0:31:42.090
I'm having a wonderful time.
0:31:46.680,0:31:48.648
She's got a solo?
0:31:53.360,0:31:54.600
What?
0:32:04.040,0:32:08.125
It's fine. I just wish that you[br]would give me more than eight hours notice
0:32:08.200,0:32:10.328
before you tell me that[br]we're throwing a party, babe.
0:32:10.400,0:32:11.765
It's not a party. Get out of here.
0:32:11.840,0:32:13.285
- It's a couple people coming by.[br]- Come on.
0:32:13.360,0:32:14.725
How'd you like it?
0:32:14.800,0:32:16.529
- You were great, honey.[br]- Hey!
0:32:16.600,0:32:18.523
Where did you learn to dance like that?
0:32:18.600,0:32:20.523
She moves like "Yagger," no?
0:32:20.600,0:32:22.364
Yes, she does, she moves like...
0:32:22.440,0:32:23.930
Mick Yagger? Is that what you were saying?
0:32:24.000,0:32:26.241
Hey, butter buns,[br]you ready to grab some eats?
0:32:26.320,0:32:28.243
Yes.
0:32:28.320,0:32:29.924
Cavanaugh.
0:32:30.000,0:32:32.321
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
0:32:32.400,0:32:35.643
Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
0:32:35.720,0:32:37.529
He was my old steroid that I grew up with.
0:32:37.640,0:32:38.641
This is my...
0:32:38.720,0:32:40.768
Wife, Roxanne.
0:32:40.840,0:32:42.490
Why are your hands shaking, Daddy?
0:32:42.560,0:32:43.766
My hands are shaking?
0:32:43.840,0:32:45.490
Probably because I
0:32:45.560,0:32:47.801
had too much coffee[br]this morning, sweetheart.
0:32:47.880,0:32:50.451
I heard you been running around[br]saying you could take me in a fight.
0:32:50.520,0:32:52.682
You... I wouldn't say that.
0:32:52.760,0:32:54.569
Yeah, you did, this morning in Kmart.
0:32:54.640,0:32:56.324
Kmart? Was I there?
0:32:56.400,0:32:58.368
- I don't think I was there.[br]- You know,
0:32:58.440,0:32:59.805
all I can remember about this guy
0:32:59.880,0:33:01.723
is smacking him around[br]whenever I wanted to,
0:33:01.800,0:33:03.723
and him not doing a single thing about it.
0:33:03.800,0:33:07.168
Yeah, we had a lot of[br]good times like that growing up.
0:33:07.240,0:33:10.084
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?[br]Are you crying?
0:33:10.160,0:33:12.208
You don't stop talking, do you?
0:33:12.280,0:33:14.123
Honey, we should be getting going.
0:33:14.200,0:33:15.326
Sure, baby.
0:33:15.400,0:33:17.520
I want you to stop making up[br]lies about kicking my ass
0:33:17.560,0:33:18.971
or I'm gonna have to set you straight.
0:33:19.040,0:33:20.280
Sure, sure, sure.
0:33:20.360,0:33:22.124
I'll see you around.
0:33:22.200,0:33:25.010
Becky, you be having great summer.
0:33:26.600,0:33:28.489
I was one inch away
0:33:28.560,0:33:30.847
from knocking that guy out,[br]and I swear to God.
0:33:30.920,0:33:31.921
No, you weren't.
0:33:32.000,0:33:33.570
This is grown-up talk,
0:33:33.640,0:33:35.085
so butt out!
0:33:36.960,0:33:39.201
That's insane! What did you say to him?
0:33:39.280,0:33:42.170
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh,[br]you speak to me like that again
0:33:42.240,0:33:45.210
"in front of my wife and kid,[br]I will brush your teeth with a brick."
0:33:45.280,0:33:47.408
No, you didn't. You just yelled at me.
0:33:47.480,0:33:49.403
- I don't yell at you![br]- Calm down.
0:33:49.480,0:33:50.686
No, I'm just saying.
0:33:50.760,0:33:52.125
You guys were in the bathroom.
0:33:52.280,0:33:54.282
Look who's here, everybody.
0:33:54.360,0:33:57.250
20 VOSS waters, right?
0:33:57.320,0:33:59.209
- That's how they do it in Hollyweird.[br]- I don't know.
0:33:59.280,0:34:02.602
We haven't lived there in, what,[br]10 months now or something?
0:34:02.720,0:34:06.122
As a matter of fact, our son[br]starts work here tonight.
0:34:06.200,0:34:08.726
I know. I heard you brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
0:34:08.800,0:34:11.121
and now Showbiz Junior's got a job.
0:34:11.199,0:34:13.726
I used to scoop cones here,[br]and why shouldn't he?
0:34:13.800,0:34:15.643
It's a great first job for a kid.
0:34:17.080,0:34:19.367
Or lifetime job.
0:34:19.520,0:34:21.248
Okay, what are we having?
0:34:21.320,0:34:22.481
Becky, what do you want, hon?
0:34:22.639,0:34:25.041
Can I have the soft chocolate cup, please?
0:34:25.120,0:34:27.851
Here's a word you probably never heard, no.
0:34:27.960,0:34:29.291
The machine's busted, princess.
0:34:29.600,0:34:32.603
Bummer, it's broken? Like all your dreams?
0:34:33.639,0:34:35.641
You know what, it's easy to fix.[br]I can help you with that.
0:34:35.760,0:34:38.081
What do you know about fixing[br]ice cream machines, Higgins?
0:34:38.159,0:34:40.367
I went to DeVry for a year.
0:34:40.440,0:34:42.726
- That's right.[br]- I can fix anything with a plug.
0:34:42.800,0:34:43.926
Including your hair?
0:34:44.000,0:34:46.400
That's not true.[br]I don't even know how that got started.
0:34:46.520,0:34:48.090
That's, like, people are[br]saying that around town.
0:34:48.159,0:34:49.286
I'll walk you through it.
0:34:49.360,0:34:51.601
You just walk up,[br]climb up the machine, lean over the back.
0:34:51.679,0:34:53.360
Can't believe I'm listening to this idiot.
0:34:53.400,0:34:54.400
Listen to the man.
0:34:54.480,0:34:55.606
You're gonna see
0:34:55.679,0:34:56.726
two pipes coming into the top.
0:34:56.800,0:34:58.450
- Yes![br]- In between them,
0:34:58.520,0:34:59.931
there's gonna be a silver button.
0:35:00.000,0:35:01.001
Hit it a little bit.
0:35:01.080,0:35:02.127
Push hard.
0:35:02.200,0:35:04.009
No. Hit it with your fist.
0:35:04.120,0:35:05.770
Yeah, just push the button.
0:35:05.840,0:35:07.444
- I got it.[br]- There we go!
0:35:07.520,0:35:09.045
I think we're getting somewhere.
0:35:09.120,0:35:10.360
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
0:35:11.200,0:35:12.281
Force it. That's it.
0:35:15.320,0:35:17.607
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping[br]all over the ice cream stand?
0:35:17.680,0:35:18.647
What'd she say?
0:35:18.760,0:35:20.967
- Nothing! Nothing![br]- Go! Just go!
0:35:22.880,0:35:24.962
Go, Dickie!
0:35:25.040,0:35:27.964
That's where ice cream comes from?
0:35:28.040,0:35:34.400
And so we've reached the end[br]of another school year.
0:35:35.560,0:35:37.801
Froot Loop?
0:35:37.880,0:35:38.881
Ten months
0:35:38.960,0:35:41.930
of learning, growth
0:35:42.000,0:35:43.729
and, yes, hopefully,
0:35:43.800,0:35:45.962
a little bit of fun.
0:35:46.080,0:35:50.404
But the journey we began[br]together, in September,
0:35:50.560,0:35:53.006
does not end today.
0:35:53.080,0:35:56.050
For education is a process
0:35:56.120,0:36:00.603
that does not begin and end[br]on some set schedule...
0:36:02.240,0:36:05.050
Please let me finish. Return to your seats.
0:36:07.240,0:36:08.321
Damn you!
0:36:08.400,0:36:09.890
Every year, you do this to me!
0:36:09.960,0:36:13.601
And this was my favorite shirt[br]from when I was 12!
0:36:13.680,0:36:15.409
How you doing, sophomore?
0:36:15.480,0:36:16.891
Not bad, sophomore.
0:36:16.960,0:36:17.961
Come here!
0:36:25.280,0:36:27.521
Hey, you're not a statue.
0:36:27.600,0:36:29.364
You' re an ass-me.
0:36:30.120,0:36:31.849
Doesn't even make any sense.
0:36:31.960,0:36:33.166
Shut up!
0:36:35.400,0:36:37.209
What? What? What?
0:36:37.280,0:36:40.045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
0:36:44.280,0:36:45.691
What's up, man?
0:36:45.760,0:36:46.841
Your dad picking you up?
0:36:47.920,0:36:49.570
I don't know.
0:36:49.640,0:36:51.881
I told him it'd be cool if he[br]stayed late at the soup kitchen,
0:36:51.960,0:36:53.724
so it's on me.
0:36:53.800,0:36:56.326
Well, you can come on the bus[br]with us, if you want.
0:36:56.440,0:36:58.408
Nah, how about we do something fun?
0:36:59.320,0:37:02.369
How about we do something[br]we're not supposed to?
0:37:04.360,0:37:05.771
"Keep out."
0:37:05.840,0:37:08.320
That just makes me want to not keep out.
0:37:08.600,0:37:11.570
Heard our dads used to come[br]swimming here, back in the day.
0:37:11.640,0:37:15.690
They claim to be all squeaky clean,[br]but I think they were nuts.
0:37:27.480,0:37:28.925
College kids.
0:37:29.000,0:37:30.684
We better go.
0:37:31.240,0:37:33.402
No go.
0:37:33.520,0:37:34.851
Stay.
0:37:45.200,0:37:47.089
He's nuts.
0:37:47.200,0:37:48.281
Let's go.
0:37:48.360,0:37:49.441
Hey!
0:37:49.520,0:37:50.965
Where are you guys going?
0:37:51.080,0:37:53.890
Join the party.
0:37:54.520,0:37:56.363
Here. One and two.
0:37:58.080,0:38:00.003
Are you guys freshmen?
0:38:00.080,0:38:01.809
No. We're seniors.
0:38:01.880,0:38:04.451
We just became seniors,[br]like, 20 minutes ago.
0:38:04.520,0:38:06.682
Not high school seniors, college seniors.
0:38:06.760,0:38:08.330
Wait a minute!
0:38:08.400,0:38:10.129
I remember you guys.
0:38:10.200,0:38:11.964
You're Scully.
0:38:12.040,0:38:14.008
You're Boomer.
0:38:14.720,0:38:16.245
Come here.
0:38:16.320,0:38:17.765
I love you guys so much.
0:38:17.840,0:38:20.366
- I love you, too.[br]- Girl, I love you more.
0:38:20.440,0:38:21.965
I'm gonna go.
0:38:22.040,0:38:24.042
Body shots!
0:38:24.400,0:38:26.084
No go.
0:38:26.160,0:38:27.127
Stay.
0:38:27.240,0:38:29.641
Okay, okay.[br]But what about these beers, man?
0:38:29.720,0:38:33.040
If we don't drink them, they'll be onto us,[br]and I'm not sure I'm ready for beer yet.
0:38:33.080,0:38:36.004
Wait, let's just dump them[br]when no one's looking,
0:38:36.080,0:38:37.241
then act like we're drunk.
0:38:37.320,0:38:38.731
Okay. Good idea.
0:38:38.800,0:38:40.484
All right, let's go.
0:38:46.120,0:38:47.849
Summertime.
0:38:47.920,0:38:50.844
You're sure you want to do this, big man?[br]No shame in backing down.
0:38:50.920,0:38:51.887
- Really?[br]- Come on!
0:38:51.960,0:38:53.007
Come on.
0:38:53.080,0:38:54.764
It's a lifelong shame.
0:38:54.840,0:38:57.320
You're finally doing Suicide 35.[br]It's a big day.
0:38:57.400,0:38:58.526
What are you scared of, man?
0:38:58.600,0:39:01.524
You're the "rope from the tree,[br]triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
0:39:01.600,0:39:03.921
I'm not scared of this.[br]In the past, I did it before.
0:39:04.000,0:39:05.081
But I'll do it right now.
0:39:05.160,0:39:06.161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
0:39:06.280,0:39:08.328
Do it. Do it.
0:39:09.600,0:39:11.728
But the thing is this, I just...
0:39:11.800,0:39:13.370
I ate about 45 minutes ago.
0:39:13.440,0:39:14.680
What did you eat?
0:39:14.760,0:39:16.046
I had chicken chow mein.
0:39:16.120,0:39:17.929
Chicken chow mein? When did...
0:39:18.040,0:39:19.451
We were with you the whole time!
0:39:19.520,0:39:21.321
Yeah. You didn't see it?[br]They had it at Kmart.
0:39:21.360,0:39:22.691
- They have chicken chow...[br]- Get out of here.
0:39:22.760,0:39:24.046
- It's good there. Yeah.[br]- It's very good.
0:39:24.120,0:39:25.406
What do I hear right now?
0:39:26.680,0:39:27.886
Look at this.
0:39:27.960,0:39:31.806
Beers on ice. Hot ladies everywhere.
0:39:31.880,0:39:34.008
This is how we used to do it.
0:39:34.080,0:39:36.765
- This is how I still do it, buddy.[br]- He does still do it that way.
0:39:36.840,0:39:38.171
Well, you should stop.
0:39:39.280,0:39:41.362
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property.
0:39:42.480,0:39:43.970
So you might want to quit[br]perving on our ladies
0:39:44.040,0:39:46.042
and get back to your trailer homes.
0:39:46.120,0:39:48.407
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
0:39:48.480,0:39:50.005
I think it's...
0:39:50.080,0:39:51.969
I think we've been around[br]a little longer than you.
0:39:52.040,0:39:53.644
Been swimming here[br]since we were eight years old,
0:39:53.720,0:39:55.484
so you can calm down a little bit.
0:39:55.640,0:39:57.290
I'm sure it was the bomb!
0:39:57.440,0:40:00.444
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes[br]on your transistor radio.
0:40:00.520,0:40:02.568
But it's the 21st century now.
0:40:02.720,0:40:04.563
And Thicky-Thick and the Flabby Bunch
0:40:04.640,0:40:06.608
should never take their shirts off again.
0:40:06.680,0:40:08.762
- That hurts.[br]- Okay, I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
0:40:08.840,0:40:10.888
Yeah, well, I don't like being[br]in the Flabby Bunch, either.
0:40:10.960,0:40:13.566
Boom! That just happened.
0:40:13.680,0:40:16.445
I haven't been around this many[br]arrogant white college kids
0:40:16.520,0:40:18.045
since Eminem played Duke.
0:40:18.120,0:40:19.565
There it goes. And then...
0:40:19.640,0:40:20.801
Boom!
0:40:20.880,0:40:22.450
That just happened. How was that?
0:40:22.520,0:40:25.763
At least we got into college,[br]skinny Danny Glover.
0:40:32.400,0:40:34.241
- Long handjob.[br]- That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
0:40:37.120,0:40:38.645
I think it's over.
0:40:38.720,0:40:40.290
- Hey, hey, hey![br]- What, what, what?
0:40:40.360,0:40:41.566
What?
0:40:42.880,0:40:44.325
And a little extra right there.
0:40:44.400,0:40:47.449
Hey, fellows, that was a good handshake.[br]We got a good one, too. it goes like this.
0:40:47.520,0:40:49.124
- Okay, here we go.[br]- How you doing, sir?
0:40:49.200,0:40:51.009
Nice to see you. Very good, sir.
0:40:51.080,0:40:52.525
- Beautiful day.[br]- Yeah, at least we're not stuck
0:40:52.600,0:40:56.161
in some crap town like this, hanging[br]up drywall for the rest of our lives.
0:40:56.240,0:40:57.844
Bay-com!
0:40:57.920,0:40:59.251
Hanging drywall? First of all,
0:40:59.320,0:41:00.731
I'll have you know that I own pretty much
0:41:00.800,0:41:02.802
the greatest auto body shop[br]in town, all right?
0:41:02.880,0:41:04.723
This guy works for the cable company.
0:41:04.800,0:41:06.006
Free cable for life.
0:41:06.080,0:41:07.206
What?
0:41:07.280,0:41:08.691
Over here, you know Higgins?
0:41:08.760,0:41:11.161
That's right, he works part-time[br]down at the go-kart track.
0:41:11.280,0:41:13.601
So he was highballing you with the drywall.
0:41:15.280,0:41:16.850
Boom!
0:41:18.440,0:41:20.010
This just got real.
0:41:20.120,0:41:22.407
- Real stupid? What happened?[br]- Something's real.
0:41:30.120,0:41:32.327
- Yeah...[br]- Dougie, Dougie...
0:41:32.400,0:41:34.846
Are you guys as wasted as us?
0:41:34.920,0:41:37.810
Hells, yeah! All the time!
0:41:39.520,0:41:43.286
Yo, we're gonna let you guys[br]continue your Klan meeting in a minute.
0:41:43.360,0:41:45.840
He's just gonna jump off of here,[br]and then we'll leave.
0:41:47.920,0:41:49.365
I can't permit that.
0:41:49.440,0:41:51.124
I can't permit it!
0:41:51.200,0:41:53.089
Can't permit it.
0:41:53.160,0:41:56.084
You guys have ruined[br]our celebration by being here.
0:41:56.200,0:41:58.521
Look at my hands, huh?
0:41:58.600,0:41:59.965
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
0:42:00.040,0:42:01.644
Yeah, look, my brother's shaking.
0:42:05.440,0:42:07.283
- That was a cool move.[br]- Now, listen to me.
0:42:07.360,0:42:09.203
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
0:42:09.280,0:42:11.647
But I need, like, 11 to 15[br]minutes to stretch out, okay?
0:42:11.720,0:42:12.881
I got to stretch. It's overlooked.
0:42:12.960,0:42:14.485
No, I understand.
0:42:14.560,0:42:16.210
I can't fight these kids.[br]I'm skinny Danny Glover.
0:42:16.280,0:42:20.126
Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips[br]behind you for some unknown reason.
0:42:21.800,0:42:24.963
We got kids, we can't afford to do this.
0:42:25.040,0:42:26.724
Buddy, dude,[br]you don't have to do that last flip.
0:42:26.800,0:42:28.928
Don't, like, get hurt.
0:42:29.000,0:42:30.206
We'll come back another time.
0:42:30.280,0:42:31.566
You will come back never!
0:42:31.640,0:42:33.722
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
0:42:33.800,0:42:36.087
Dude, why are you acting so crazy?
0:42:36.160,0:42:39.050
Did Betty White just call you crazy?
0:42:39.160,0:42:40.286
- Did he just call you Betty White?[br]- Betty White?
0:42:40.360,0:42:41.361
That's pretty funny.
0:42:41.440,0:42:42.805
We've got a situation!
0:42:54.160,0:42:55.571
You know what? Hey, guys? Guys?
0:42:55.640,0:42:57.210
- Hey, what's up, guys?[br]- Let's get out of here.
0:42:57.280,0:42:58.441
Listen, it's nice to meet everybody.
0:42:58.520,0:43:00.761
- We're gonna take off, but let's do this again.[br]- Take care, guys.
0:43:00.840,0:43:02.171
- Enjoy yourself.[br]- Not that way.
0:43:02.240,0:43:04.561
Is there an elevator?
0:43:06.080,0:43:07.969
That way.
0:43:08.640,0:43:12.531
Come on, are you serious?[br]You gonna make us jump?
0:43:13.000,0:43:15.002
Naked.
0:43:15.760,0:43:17.967
Asshole.
0:43:25.160,0:43:27.208
You guys are losers.
0:43:35.680,0:43:38.206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
0:43:43.200,0:43:45.168
That poor old lady!
0:43:47.440,0:43:48.930
Rm Paralyzed!
0:43:49.000,0:43:51.287
I'm in so much pain!
0:43:51.360,0:43:53.249
Mama!
0:43:56.200,0:43:58.328
No!
0:44:04.360,0:44:06.249
I was inside you!
0:44:12.640,0:44:16.565
I can't believe nobody's even[br]scared of a black guy anymore!
0:44:16.640,0:44:18.768
Damn you, Obama!
0:44:18.840,0:44:21.889
What the hell just happened?
0:44:21.960,0:44:24.566
I saw my dad's dick.
0:44:41.760,0:44:45.731
Well, the good news is[br]Lamonsoff finally did the jump for real.
0:44:45.800,0:44:48.007
And the bad news is he landed on my face.
0:44:48.120,0:44:50.168
What are you, made of rocks, dude?
0:44:50.240,0:44:52.686
Check this out, feel this.[br]I'm not kidding you.
0:44:52.760,0:44:54.046
Right up here.
0:44:54.120,0:44:55.087
I think even higher.
0:44:55.160,0:44:56.161
- Feel that.[br]- And?
0:44:56.240,0:44:57.401
Put your hand right there.
0:44:57.480,0:44:59.209
Feel the other one. Those are my balls.
0:44:59.280,0:45:01.123
I'm not kidding you,[br]they went way up in there.
0:45:01.200,0:45:02.361
You're getting me turned on.
0:45:02.440,0:45:04.522
Are you kidding me?
0:45:04.600,0:45:05.647
What?
0:45:05.720,0:45:07.051
They slashed our tires!
0:45:07.120,0:45:08.531
These kids won't stop abusing us!
0:45:08.640,0:45:09.766
Damn you!
0:45:09.960,0:45:12.964
This wasn't college kids.
0:45:13.040,0:45:15.646
It was my son, Satan.
0:45:16.000,0:45:18.128
And why is this kid so angry?
0:45:18.200,0:45:21.170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but she was happy![br]And hot.
0:45:21.400,0:45:23.402
If she's so hot,
0:45:23.480,0:45:26.165
why don't you make her[br]your late-night booty call?
0:45:26.240,0:45:28.766
Beefcakes! Come on, baby!
0:45:31.960,0:45:34.804
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
0:45:34.880,0:45:37.326
It's not funny, dude![br]She's gonna kick the crap out of me later!
0:45:37.400,0:45:40.085
Wow.
0:45:40.160,0:45:42.481
- A little five-hour Energy, huh?[br]- Yeah.
0:45:44.320,0:45:45.890
500-hour Energy?
0:45:45.960,0:45:47.405
I drink it for the taste, okay?
0:45:47.480,0:45:50.563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog[br]to Florida after this?
0:45:54.360,0:45:55.361
No!
0:45:55.480,0:45:56.686
A bonus!
0:45:56.760,0:45:58.524
Come on, just cram yourself in there.
0:45:58.600,0:46:01.604
My body, it's just too big for this thing.[br]I can't fit.
0:46:01.680,0:46:03.921
Higgins, dummy, hop in[br]this thing for a minute.
0:46:04.000,0:46:06.287
- For what?[br]- Just get in the tire.
0:46:06.360,0:46:08.283
- No way! In there?[br]- Five yards we'll roll you.
0:46:08.360,0:46:10.727
We've done it.[br]I would do it if I could get in there.
0:46:10.800,0:46:12.450
This is peer pressure, you're bullying.
0:46:12.520,0:46:15.091
And I promise you[br]I'll stop you and I love you.
0:46:15.160,0:46:17.242
Don't let him do it.[br]He's jacked up on juice.
0:46:17.320,0:46:19.368
And a-one, and a-two...
0:46:19.440,0:46:21.522
- Mommy's got you.[br]- ...and a-three!
0:46:22.800,0:46:24.290
- Okay, five feet. Grab me.[br]- Y'ello.
0:46:24.360,0:46:25.964
- Lenny![br]- Hey, Keithie.
0:46:26.040,0:46:28.247
Meet me at the football field,[br]but don't tell your mother.
0:46:28.320,0:46:29.970
Why am I still rolling?
0:46:30.040,0:46:31.644
Lenny!
0:46:31.720,0:46:33.370
Help!
0:46:33.440,0:46:35.090
Guys, get me!
0:46:35.160,0:46:37.481
- Hang in there![br]- I'm going downhill!
0:46:37.560,0:46:38.641
Lenny! No! No!
0:46:40.320,0:46:42.971
When will it end?
0:46:47.520,0:46:50.285
Yeah. Summer is here, man!
0:46:56.040,0:46:59.203
Help! Stop! No!
0:47:01.160,0:47:02.161
Tire on the loose!
0:47:02.240,0:47:03.730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
0:47:06.760,0:47:07.841
Someone!
0:47:07.920,0:47:09.570
Higgins is in the tire!
0:47:09.680,0:47:11.011
Of course.
0:47:11.080,0:47:12.684
- Help![br]- Get there!
0:47:12.760,0:47:14.250
Help!
0:47:14.320,0:47:16.402
- Liar![br]- No, no, baby!
0:47:17.560,0:47:20.848
No! No! Someone!
0:47:31.080,0:47:33.162
Shaw's over, tire.
0:47:46.280,0:47:47.327
I'm next.
0:47:47.400,0:47:49.084
- I got next![br]- No, I'm next!
0:47:51.920,0:47:53.160
It's my tire! My turn!
0:47:53.240,0:47:55.004
Hey!
0:47:55.080,0:47:56.809
What happened?
0:47:57.240,0:47:58.526
I got a phone call.
0:47:59.960,0:48:02.531
Okay. I forgive you.
0:48:02.600,0:48:04.807
Was it long-distance or something?
0:48:04.880,0:48:06.848
Don't want to kick a guy[br]while he's down, Higgins,
0:48:06.920,0:48:09.127
but we caught your son[br]with a can of spray paint
0:48:09.240,0:48:11.208
looking like he was up to no good.
0:48:11.280,0:48:13.886
You lied about the soup.
0:48:13.960,0:48:16.406
You lied about the soup!
0:48:30.920,0:48:35.369
We are gonna find those fartheads,
0:48:35.760,0:48:38.127
and we are gonna kill them.
0:48:38.360,0:48:39.930
Kill!
0:48:40.000,0:48:43.641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
0:48:47.480,0:48:50.563
No, guys! Not each other!
0:48:50.640,0:48:53.450
We're not killing each other!
0:48:53.600,0:48:56.570
K-E-I-T
0:48:56.640,0:48:59.450
H-I-E.
0:48:59.520,0:49:01.682
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
0:49:01.760,0:49:05.128
It's a practice, Donna.[br]You don't have to go full speed.
0:49:05.200,0:49:06.440
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
0:49:06.520,0:49:07.646
It's fine!
0:49:07.720,0:49:10.200
Hey, look at these giant mooses out there.
0:49:13.720,0:49:15.802
You don't want to get[br]in the middle of all that.
0:49:15.880,0:49:19.441
Plus, the kicker, honestly, is like,[br]one of the most important guys on the team
0:49:19.560,0:49:22.484
and you don't have to worry about getting[br]your head bashed in every play.
0:49:22.560,0:49:24.483
I get it, Dad. I'm a wimp.
0:49:24.560,0:49:25.641
You're not a wimp.
0:49:25.720,0:49:26.926
It's just common sense.
0:49:27.000,0:49:28.843
Avoid big idiots trying to hurt you.
0:49:29.440,0:49:32.330
I was trying to avoid a big idiot[br]trying to hurt me on the bus this morning,
0:49:32.400,0:49:33.731
but he wouldn't leave me alone.
0:49:33.800,0:49:35.723
Well, sometimes they[br]won't let you avoid them,
0:49:35.800,0:49:38.326
and you just...[br]You can't back down in those situations.
0:49:38.400,0:49:40.368
I'm telling you, I've[br]backed down a few times,
0:49:40.440,0:49:41.566
it's not a good feeling.
0:49:41.640,0:49:43.529
All right, look, let's just[br]kick a few field goals.
0:49:43.600,0:49:45.284
It's like soccer, which you're great at.
0:49:45.360,0:49:48.204
All you got to do is put your[br]foot right through the ball.
0:49:51.400,0:49:52.367
What?
0:49:52.440,0:49:53.646
Touchdown! Yeah!
0:49:53.760,0:49:55.364
Yeah!
0:49:55.440,0:49:57.522
That's ridiculous! Your first try?
0:49:57.640,0:49:59.608
All right, we're backing up, boy.
0:49:59.680,0:50:02.251
That was totally awesome, Keithie![br]That was so cool!
0:50:02.320,0:50:04.607
That was just, like, awesome!
0:50:04.760,0:50:06.569
Okay, drive through the ball.
0:50:06.640,0:50:08.210
Drive through the ball.
0:50:10.280,0:50:11.327
It's up!
0:50:11.760,0:50:14.366
Yeah! Go, Keithie!
0:50:14.440,0:50:17.410
Yes! What did you eat this morning?
0:50:17.480,0:50:21.121
All right, this is starting to[br]get into, like, college level.
0:50:21.200,0:50:22.645
From the 30!
0:50:22.720,0:50:24.404
Who the hell is this kid?
0:50:30.440,0:50:31.885
Oh, my God!
0:50:31.960,0:50:33.530
Stop! Keithie time!
0:50:35.800,0:50:39.043
I'm starting to think[br]she has a little crush on you.
0:50:39.120,0:50:40.201
Really?
0:50:40.280,0:50:42.851
Either that or she got bit[br]by a poisonous spider.
0:50:42.920,0:50:45.002
Keithie!
0:50:46.200,0:50:49.170
All right, let's see how you do[br]in a real game situation, though.
0:50:49.240,0:50:51.686
Okay? Let's pretend I'm a linebacker,
0:50:51.760,0:50:53.410
and I'm gonna come at you[br]and try and block it.
0:50:53.480,0:50:54.481
Okay.
0:50:54.560,0:50:55.891
Set!
0:50:57.080,0:50:59.003
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
0:50:59.080,0:51:00.081
Give me that football!
0:51:02.640,0:51:04.324
My leg!
0:51:04.400,0:51:05.640
Keithie!
0:51:05.720,0:51:07.722
Don't tell your mother!
0:51:07.800,0:51:11.168
All right, that kid's dead. Back to work.
0:51:12.000,0:51:14.446
Now, you remember how to do[br]a five-point turn, right?
0:51:14.520,0:51:15.601
Yeah.
0:51:15.680,0:51:17.569
- Parallel park?[br]- Yeah, yeah.
0:51:17.640,0:51:19.688
Hey, don't "yeah, yeah" me, dumb-ass.
0:51:19.760,0:51:21.250
You're precious cargo.
0:51:21.320,0:51:23.200
Now, if you mess around[br]and get yourself killed,
0:51:23.280,0:51:24.247
I'm gonna have to kill you.
0:51:24.320,0:51:26.004
Look, Dad, I'm ready for this, all right?
0:51:27.960,0:51:29.450
You're late.
0:51:30.680,0:51:31.920
Hello, McKenzie.
0:51:32.000,0:51:33.684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
0:51:36.160,0:51:37.924
Just two years of this.
0:51:38.000,0:51:41.083
And I still only have[br]40% feeling in my body.
0:51:41.200,0:51:43.123
Otherwise, I'm fine.
0:51:43.200,0:51:44.929
No, Rihanna's fine.
0:51:45.000,0:51:46.525
You just teach driver's ed.
0:51:47.680,0:51:49.125
Get her done, son!
0:51:49.200,0:51:51.407
And remember everything we talked about!
0:51:51.480,0:51:52.720
Defensive driving!
0:51:52.800,0:51:53.961
Stop at all yellows!
0:51:54.040,0:51:55.121
Obey the laws!
0:51:56.200,0:51:58.646
- You moron![br]- Look out!
0:51:58.760,0:52:01.684
Be safe! Don't do what I just did!
0:52:02.400,0:52:04.641
Hey, officers, you guys[br]want to stick around
0:52:04.720,0:52:06.404
and have a drink with me,[br]hang out a little bit?
0:52:06.480,0:52:08.767
You're afraid of us leaving you[br]alone with your son, aren't you?
0:52:08.840,0:52:10.888
My son... Are you kidding me?[br]I don't care...
0:52:10.960,0:52:13.088
- Boo![br]- He's got a knife!
0:52:13.720,0:52:16.849
That sounds dangerous.[br]How far was the drop?
0:52:16.920,0:52:18.809
Just 35 feet.
0:52:18.880,0:52:21.360
Who do you think you are, Tarzan?
0:52:21.440,0:52:23.329
- It's no big deal.[br]- Honey?
0:52:23.400,0:52:25.164
Hi, Sally.
0:52:25.240,0:52:27.004
Hi, honey. I... No, I just came to see
0:52:27.120,0:52:28.201
if Mommy was alive.
0:52:28.280,0:52:29.805
And looking now,
0:52:29.880,0:52:31.166
she's breathing, she's good.
0:52:31.240,0:52:32.844
Hi. What are you doing here?
0:52:32.960,0:52:35.008
I was bringing your mother[br]a new fan for the summer.
0:52:35.080,0:52:36.320
- That's good.[br]- You said you couldn't
0:52:36.400,0:52:37.890
get coffee with me because you had
0:52:37.960,0:52:40.850
a 3:30 appointment with a Mr. Renaldo.
0:52:40.920,0:52:42.160
Hello, ladies!
0:52:42.240,0:52:43.844
You!
0:52:43.920,0:52:44.921
Can't be!
0:52:45.000,0:52:47.241
We killed you. Last week.
0:52:47.320,0:52:50.767
You actually think two amateurish nitwits
0:52:50.840,0:52:54.083
could kill The Great Renaldo?
0:52:54.440,0:52:55.771
I told you.
0:52:55.840,0:52:58.923
You did. You called it.
0:53:03.320,0:53:06.005
So the leg's not really broken, huh?
0:53:06.320,0:53:08.561
No, it is broken, right here.
0:53:08.640,0:53:11.325
Just a hairline fracture, though.
0:53:11.400,0:53:13.164
No, it's a clean break.
0:53:13.240,0:53:14.685
Slight, though.
0:53:14.760,0:53:17.331
Slight? No. It's broken.
0:53:17.400,0:53:20.085
Broken-broken or just broken?
0:53:20.160,0:53:22.731
It's a broken leg.
0:53:22.800,0:53:26.407
What was once one bone[br]is now two half-bones.
0:53:26.480,0:53:27.606
Right.
0:53:27.680,0:53:32.288
Is there anything you can do[br]about my wife staring at me?
0:53:34.280,0:53:36.726
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
0:53:36.800,0:53:38.370
So you're saying my wife is crazy?
0:53:38.440,0:53:40.010
No, no. I was joking.
0:53:40.080,0:53:41.889
Like you were when you said[br]his leg is broken.
0:53:41.960,0:53:43.610
Look, your son
0:53:43.680,0:53:46.923
is going to be wearing[br]that cast the entire summer.
0:53:47.000,0:53:50.891
If you don't mind, I[br]haven't slept in 68 hours.
0:53:50.960,0:53:53.247
So you're a little loopy[br]from lack of sleep,
0:53:53.320,0:53:54.890
and that really isn't my son's bone.
0:53:55.000,0:53:56.923
That's a piece of celery you snapped.
0:53:57.000,0:53:57.967
- Lenny![br]- Yes?
0:53:58.040,0:53:59.565
The leg is broken!
0:54:03.200,0:54:04.929
You can't undo this,
0:54:05.000,0:54:08.243
and you lied to me,[br]so you're gonna pay for it.
0:54:08.320,0:54:12.928
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice[br]if there was a cure for anger?
0:54:13.000,0:54:14.081
There is.
0:54:14.160,0:54:15.844
It's called Jack Daniel's.
0:54:16.880,0:54:18.450
Another one of your jokes, huh?
0:54:18.520,0:54:20.010
I Wish.
0:54:22.640,0:54:24.640
Okay, the light is red now,[br]so just remain stopped.
0:54:28.520,0:54:30.045
Scully, is that you?
0:54:31.880,0:54:33.166
Scully!
0:54:34.840,0:54:36.604
Hey, what's up, fellas?
0:54:36.680,0:54:39.126
Are you taking your driver's test drunk?
0:54:39.200,0:54:41.282
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
0:54:41.360,0:54:43.010
- You're a madman![br]- Psychopath, man!
0:54:43.080,0:54:44.081
Hey, Scully, Scully.
0:54:44.160,0:54:46.401
Have you seen those old townies[br]from the quarry today?
0:54:46.480,0:54:49.484
No, I can't say I did. Why?
0:54:49.560,0:54:51.642
They disrespected our frat house!
0:54:51.720,0:54:53.245
Man, they disrespected the crap out of it!
0:54:53.320,0:54:54.890
No, can't have that.
0:54:57.160,0:54:58.446
Brewski time, dude!
0:54:58.520,0:54:59.965
It's not for you, Scully.
0:55:00.040,0:55:01.804
It's for that freak in the hat next to you.
0:55:01.880,0:55:03.006
Looks like he needs it.
0:55:03.080,0:55:04.081
- Boom![br]- Yeah!
0:55:04.160,0:55:05.491
That just happened!
0:55:05.560,0:55:07.688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
0:55:09.800,0:55:13.486
Taking your driver's[br]test while intoxicated?
0:55:15.080,0:55:17.447
Minus five points.
0:55:26.040,0:55:27.644
This is ridiculous!
0:55:27.760,0:55:31.367
I've wasted an entire day[br]waiting for this idiot to show up.
0:55:31.440,0:55:34.125
Did you tell him your son-in-law[br]works for the cable company?
0:55:34.200,0:55:38.000
A fat lot of good being related[br]to that bozo would do me.
0:55:38.080,0:55:41.050
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
0:55:41.120,0:55:42.690
Love to the children.
0:55:49.080,0:55:50.525
Yes. Yes.
0:55:57.120,0:55:59.361
Damn it, I just sat down.
0:55:59.440,0:56:01.522
I'll be right out there!
0:56:01.600,0:56:02.681
Hang on!
0:56:02.760,0:56:04.364
I'm coming as quick as I can.
0:56:04.440,0:56:06.283
I got bunions, damn it!
0:56:14.040,0:56:15.963
No! No!
0:56:16.040,0:56:18.122
You burn in hell!
0:56:18.240,0:56:20.049
You cable-installing mother...
0:56:20.120,0:56:21.485
Damn it!
0:56:30.560,0:56:31.561
Look, man,
0:56:31.640,0:56:33.881
I know deadbeat dads[br]always have lame excuses
0:56:33.960,0:56:36.167
why they don't see their kids,
0:56:36.240,0:56:39.687
but "I didn't know you existed[br]till about a week ago"
0:56:39.760,0:56:41.808
is actually a fantastic excuse.
0:56:41.880,0:56:43.405
So can you cut me some slack?
0:56:43.480,0:56:45.244
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
0:56:45.320,0:56:47.049
Yeah, I know that.
0:56:47.120,0:56:48.724
So why do you call her that?
0:56:48.840,0:56:51.366
No, that's just... It's stupid.
0:56:51.440,0:56:55.240
It's just kind of a nickname[br]I give people that,
0:56:55.320,0:56:58.767
you know, have a distinct[br]trait or physical feature.
0:56:58.840,0:57:02.322
Like, if someone had big lips,[br]you'd call them Lippy McGee.
0:57:02.400,0:57:04.926
And if they sneezed a lot,[br]you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
0:57:05.000,0:57:07.924
So you'd be Ugly McGee.
0:57:08.000,0:57:10.162
I'd be Ugly McGee. Exactly.
0:57:10.280,0:57:11.566
Shorty McGee.
0:57:11.640,0:57:12.607
Shorty McGee, sure.
0:57:12.680,0:57:13.920
Viagra McGee.
0:57:14.000,0:57:15.480
Right, right. You get it, you get it.
0:57:15.560,0:57:17.449
Listen, man,
0:57:17.520,0:57:20.091
I'm willing to give this a try if you are.
0:57:21.720,0:57:24.451
You know what they say...[br]Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery.
0:57:26.280,0:57:31.241
Maybe we go inside and search the Internet[br]for funny videos of squirrels waterskiing.
0:57:40.720,0:57:42.927
Okay, we're getting somewhere.
0:57:43.400,0:57:45.289
I'm sorry I lied about the appointment.
0:57:45.360,0:57:47.408
The lying's not the worst part.
0:57:47.480,0:57:49.562
You hid from me at your[br]mother's house, Eric.
0:57:49.640,0:57:50.971
Who does that?
0:57:51.040,0:57:52.565
Look, she's nice to me.
0:57:52.880,0:57:55.042
You know, she always takes my side,
0:57:55.120,0:57:58.044
worries if I'm eating enough[br]and taking my vitamins.
0:57:58.160,0:58:00.208
I do all that stuff, too, Eric.
0:58:00.600,0:58:02.443
Okay, I don't.
0:58:02.520,0:58:03.806
You're right.
0:58:03.880,0:58:05.484
You know, there's only[br]so many hours in a day,
0:58:05.560,0:58:08.166
and I'm always running around the kids,
0:58:08.240,0:58:10.288
and I guess I leave you out a lot,
0:58:10.400,0:58:12.641
and I'm really gonna try harder[br]to make you feel special,
0:58:12.720,0:58:15.485
'cause you always make me feel[br]like the only girl in the world.
0:58:15.560,0:58:17.881
I feel bad.
0:58:17.960,0:58:19.200
Don't feel bad.
0:58:19.280,0:58:21.726
No, I do, because today at the recital,
0:58:21.800,0:58:26.124
I couldn't stop looking at Becky's teacher.
0:58:26.240,0:58:27.969
I don't mind you looking.
0:58:28.120,0:58:30.122
I really don't. Everybody looks.
0:58:30.440,0:58:32.568
I was looking today.
0:58:32.640,0:58:34.529
And I'm totally fine with that.
0:58:34.600,0:58:37.046
As long as he was gay, dead or a cartoon.
0:58:37.120,0:58:38.610
- Gay.[br]- Okay.
0:58:38.840,0:58:43.402
But no matter who or what we look at, we'll[br]always come back to each other, right?
0:58:45.440,0:58:46.851
- Car wash![br]- Car wash!
0:58:46.960,0:58:48.405
- Support our team![br]- I'll prove it to you!
0:58:48.480,0:58:50.528
Car wash!
0:58:50.600,0:58:53.171
- What are you doing?[br]- No, no, you're gonna like this.
0:58:53.720,0:58:54.960
Hi, girls!
0:58:56.760,0:58:58.489
Come on.
0:59:00.120,0:59:02.202
Honey, you don't have to do this.
0:59:02.280,0:59:03.247
I want to.
0:59:03.320,0:59:05.209
Hi, girls!
0:59:05.280,0:59:07.203
Wash it up extra soapy!
0:59:07.280,0:59:09.203
You got it.
0:59:09.280,0:59:11.567
Wait, hang on.[br]There's a car just in front of you.
0:59:11.640,0:59:12.641
Better do them first.
0:59:12.720,0:59:13.767
Yo, got a customer!
0:59:13.840,0:59:16.411
You take these guys,[br]we'll take the yellow car.
0:59:16.480,0:59:18.528
Extra soapy.
0:59:22.800,0:59:24.609
What is happening right now?
0:59:27.640,0:59:30.166
I swear, I didn't plan this.
0:59:36.000,0:59:38.731
No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.[br]I'm good, thank you.
0:59:38.800,0:59:41.007
Well, I might as well enjoy this.
1:00:22.080,1:00:24.287
Why is this never-ending?
1:00:24.360,1:00:27.330
At least the guys in the car[br]in front of us are having fun.
1:00:39.760,1:00:42.240
What are you doing? Get in there!
1:00:42.320,1:00:43.651
Let me do it.
1:00:50.560,1:00:52.369
Okay, everybody.
1:00:52.440,1:00:55.250
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.[br]There were some downs.
1:00:55.320,1:00:57.049
Sorry about the leg.
1:00:57.120,1:00:58.565
The good news is
1:00:58.640,1:01:00.688
the children got through[br]another year of school.
1:01:00.800,1:01:01.847
Fabulously.
1:01:01.920,1:01:04.844
You got older, even though I told you not to.[br]Especially you.
1:01:04.920,1:01:06.684
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1:01:06.760,1:01:10.162
You prepared us your famous[br]chicken a la food poisoning,
1:01:10.240,1:01:11.526
which we're all excited to eat.
1:01:11.600,1:01:14.046
I'm just kidding.
1:01:14.120,1:01:16.361
But the greatest thing is,[br]it's my favorite part of the day
1:01:16.440,1:01:17.566
with my four best friends.
1:01:17.640,1:01:18.926
To the Feders!
1:01:20.880,1:01:23.611
So Bumpty asked me out for ice cream today.
1:01:23.680,1:01:27.844
I "went out for ice cream" once[br]with your dad.
1:01:27.920,1:01:31.129
Nine months later, Andre popped out.
1:01:32.760,1:01:36.401
This is the best vanilla[br]pudding I've ever had.
1:01:36.480,1:01:38.767
That's butter, son.
1:01:41.200,1:01:42.361
Here you go.
1:01:42.440,1:01:45.046
- Hey.[br]- Want me to come in and feed it to you
1:01:45.120,1:01:47.202
like I did the last time?
1:01:47.280,1:01:49.521
No, no. I got my kid here.
1:01:49.640,1:01:50.721
That wouldn't be cool.
1:01:50.800,1:01:53.280
You said you loved me!
1:01:54.520,1:01:56.284
They're not all tens, buddy.
1:02:00.480,1:02:02.289
Homeboy, why aren't you eating?
1:02:02.360,1:02:05.045
I saw something today[br]that made me lose my appetite.
1:02:05.120,1:02:07.851
What was it, me naked?
1:02:09.640,1:02:11.244
What?
1:02:11.320,1:02:12.890
What's a burpsmart?
1:02:12.960,1:02:14.086
Burpsnorp?
1:02:14.160,1:02:15.650
A burpsnart!
1:02:15.720,1:02:18.929
Basically, he burps, sneezes[br]and farts at the same time.
1:02:19.000,1:02:20.047
He goes...
1:02:26.160,1:02:28.401
I think I just shat myself.
1:02:28.480,1:02:31.245
Hey, honey, what time's[br]that Feder bash tonight?
1:02:31.320,1:02:32.970
What?
1:02:33.040,1:02:34.166
It's paint.
1:02:34.240,1:02:35.651
It doesn't come off.
1:02:35.720,1:02:38.087
I thought it might be fun[br]to have a theme, no?
1:02:38.160,1:02:40.766
- A theme?[br]- Roxanne decided the theme is...
1:02:40.840,1:02:44.686
The '80s?
1:02:44.760,1:02:46.808
That was 70 years ago.
1:02:49.240,1:02:50.924
I thought we could go as Hall & Oates.
1:02:51.000,1:02:51.967
Hall & Oates?
1:02:52.080,1:02:53.127
- Yeah.[br]- Yeah.
1:02:53.200,1:02:55.009
What is that, like a cereal?
1:02:55.080,1:02:56.525
No.
1:02:56.600,1:02:59.604
Why don't you ask Nancy Arbuckle[br]to come by for the get-together?
1:02:59.680,1:03:02.570
Or do you prefer[br]the imaginary shower version?
1:03:05.400,1:03:07.767
You know what, Charlotte? I trust you,
1:03:07.840,1:03:09.524
and I want you to have fun tonight.
1:03:09.600,1:03:10.965
Really.
1:03:14.120,1:03:16.885
What's up, player?[br]I'm here for your daughter.
1:03:19.760,1:03:23.207
What...
1:03:23.320,1:03:28.565
Used to get 10 cases of beer for my[br]parties, now I get 10 cases of juice boxes.
1:03:28.880,1:03:30.405
Hey, Beckster.
1:03:30.480,1:03:32.164
- Hey, Stud Muffin.[br]- Hey.
1:03:32.240,1:03:35.562
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,[br]so I call him Stud Muffin.
1:03:35.640,1:03:36.687
Is that right?
1:03:36.760,1:03:39.331
You must be Roxanne's husband. I'm Kyle.
1:03:39.400,1:03:41.641
How do you know my wife[br]again there, Mud Stuffing?
1:03:41.720,1:03:43.563
I worked her out this morning.
1:03:43.640,1:03:44.641
Really?
1:03:44.720,1:03:47.326
I worked her out this morning,[br]too, pretty good.
1:03:47.760,1:03:48.841
All right.
1:03:48.920,1:03:50.843
Hi.
1:03:50.920,1:03:52.046
What's up?
1:03:52.120,1:03:53.690
This is awkward.
1:03:53.760,1:03:55.842
My husband's here.
1:03:55.920,1:03:57.570
Why is that awkward?
1:03:57.640,1:03:59.324
Why?
1:03:59.400,1:04:01.129
Well, let me give you a hint.
1:04:02.760,1:04:04.808
You have brain damage?
1:04:07.000,1:04:09.367
I think we both know[br]what time it is, don't we?
1:04:09.440,1:04:10.771
What time is it?
1:04:10.840,1:04:12.842
Nothing.
1:04:12.920,1:04:16.766
It's just... Just time to...
1:04:16.840,1:04:18.524
Help me out here.
1:04:18.760,1:04:21.570
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1:04:21.640,1:04:23.529
Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1:04:23.600,1:04:24.601
Did he pass his test?
1:04:24.680,1:04:26.125
He squeaked by.
1:04:26.200,1:04:28.328
We didn't check out any soapy cheerleaders.
1:04:28.400,1:04:30.084
What's going on with you and my wife?
1:04:30.160,1:04:31.161
I'm gonna go.
1:04:31.240,1:04:32.571
Actually, why don't we all[br]go our separate ways.
1:04:32.680,1:04:34.961
I don't see any of these conversations[br]working out for me.
1:04:35.000,1:04:36.365
- Adios.[br]- I'll see you tonight.
1:04:36.440,1:04:37.407
Hey-
1:04:37.480,1:04:38.641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1:04:39.560,1:04:40.641
What?
1:04:40.720,1:04:42.768
Yeah, party tonight '80s-style, huh?
1:04:42.840,1:04:44.649
Rocky Ill.
1:04:44.720,1:04:46.961
- Wiley![br]- Okay.
1:04:48.000,1:04:49.764
Hey, babe.
1:04:50.680,1:04:51.966
What does Penny's note say?
1:04:56.320,1:04:58.084
She wrote, "Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1:04:58.160,1:04:59.400
The other side.
1:05:02.160,1:05:04.561
"Meet me by your mailbox at 11:00."
1:05:04.640,1:05:07.007
Why would I meet her[br]by my mailbox at 11:00?
1:05:12.000,1:05:14.321
You have any idea what just happened there?
1:05:14.400,1:05:15.686
Not a clue.
1:05:15.760,1:05:18.161
I don't care who your parents are.
1:05:18.240,1:05:19.844
You screw up, I fire you.
1:05:19.920,1:05:22.048
It's all good.
1:05:22.120,1:05:23.167
"It's all good"?
1:05:23.240,1:05:25.481
It's a family restaurant, not a rap show.
1:05:25.560,1:05:27.130
It's all bad?
1:05:27.200,1:05:29.089
That's right, it is.
1:05:29.160,1:05:30.525
You got a customer.
1:05:31.840,1:05:33.604
I'm sorry. Welcome to the Ice Cream House.
1:05:33.680,1:05:35.330
Hi, Greg.
1:05:35.400,1:05:37.209
Nancy, hi.
1:05:37.280,1:05:40.045
I think you crushed your cones.
1:05:40.120,1:05:41.281
No.
1:05:41.360,1:05:42.771
That was a... That was a squeeze test.
1:05:42.840,1:05:44.444
These cones failed.
1:05:44.520,1:05:46.204
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1:05:47.160,1:05:48.241
You're smiling.
1:05:48.920,1:05:50.285
And number two.
1:05:50.360,1:05:52.362
You have such a nice smile.
1:05:52.440,1:05:54.124
Thanks.
1:05:54.200,1:05:57.124
Go out with me tonight before[br]your friends say I'm fugly.
1:05:57.200,1:05:59.282
Tonight?
1:05:59.360,1:06:00.441
Sure.
1:06:00.560,1:06:02.642
No freaking way.
1:06:04.200,1:06:06.885
Your father used to do[br]that same three-step crap
1:06:06.960,1:06:08.291
when we were growing up.
1:06:08.400,1:06:10.641
It always worked then.
1:06:10.720,1:06:12.529
Even on my wife.
1:06:15.480,1:06:18.484
I ain't no boy with a mind you can toy,
1:06:18.560,1:06:21.484
'cause if this is a ploy,[br]I'll destroy Illinois.
1:06:21.560,1:06:24.325
It is so amazing how you can[br]freestyle like that.
1:06:24.400,1:06:27.370
I been laying it down[br]truthful since day one.
1:06:30.440,1:06:33.410
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1:06:33.480,1:06:35.608
but only, like, in the shower.
1:06:35.720,1:06:37.688
I'm scared to sing in[br]front of other people.
1:06:37.760,1:06:40.764
If you scared, that means you don't got it.
1:06:40.840,1:06:44.322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.[br]I'm hard-core.
1:06:47.880,1:06:49.484
Dinosaur!
1:06:51.240,1:06:53.527
How long ago was the '80s?
1:06:53.600,1:06:56.365
That was way back in the 1900s.
1:06:56.440,1:06:57.646
We learned about it in school.
1:06:57.720,1:06:58.767
It was wack.
1:06:58.840,1:07:01.844
The phones had long, curly[br]things coming out of the end.
1:07:01.920,1:07:03.570
You had to watch commercials.
1:07:03.640,1:07:04.721
No way.
1:07:04.800,1:07:06.131
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1:07:08.160,1:07:09.969
How we doing?
1:07:10.040,1:07:12.361
Hey, Dad, why do we have to[br]wear costumes and you don't?
1:07:12.440,1:07:13.805
I am wearing a costume.
1:07:13.880,1:07:16.611
Bruce Springsteen, Born in the U. S.A.
1:07:17.600,1:07:19.329
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1:07:19.400,1:07:21.368
I guess some guy with a giant butt.
1:07:22.680,1:07:24.569
You don't know who the Boss is?
1:07:24.640,1:07:26.165
I stink as a father.
1:07:26.240,1:07:28.242
You do not stink as a father.
1:07:28.320,1:07:30.163
You're the best father I know.
1:07:30.240,1:07:32.607
That's why I don't understand[br]why you don't...
1:07:32.680,1:07:33.727
Why I don't want a baby?
1:07:33.800,1:07:36.280
Because I don't want one![br]Let's move on from that!
1:07:43.440,1:07:45.920
No. No, no.
1:07:46.040,1:07:47.804
Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad.
1:07:47.880,1:07:49.484
It was your flabby ass.
1:07:49.560,1:07:53.042
You want me to "accidentally"[br]break the other leg?
1:07:58.800,1:08:02.247
Hey, I'm sorry I raised my voice.
1:08:02.320,1:08:03.924
In front of the children!
1:08:04.000,1:08:05.570
Right, in front of the kids.
1:08:05.640,1:08:06.880
It's just, you...
1:08:06.960,1:08:09.611
All you're doing is bringing up this[br]baby thing over and over.
1:08:09.680,1:08:11.125
Are you going through, like,
1:08:11.200,1:08:15.250
a "womany" hormone[br]situation or something?
1:08:15.360,1:08:17.089
Menopause?
1:08:17.160,1:08:19.127
What, you're not old enough for that?[br]I'm sorry.
1:08:19.240,1:08:20.924
Okay, no, I meant schizophrenia.
1:08:21.000,1:08:23.287
No, honey, honey, honey,
1:08:23.359,1:08:26.330
if we have another baby,[br]we're starting over, you know?
1:08:26.399,1:08:27.890
How about we just adopt a kid?
1:08:27.960,1:08:29.281
Like a 20-year-old who has a job.
1:08:29.319,1:08:30.921
That way we could make money off of him.
1:08:32.479,1:08:35.768
I just... Don't you think[br]we can start concentrating on me and you?
1:08:35.880,1:08:38.406
That's all I'm saying. It's our time.
1:08:38.479,1:08:43.087
Well, I am going through[br]kind of a hormone thing.
1:08:43.160,1:08:45.447
Good, there's pills for that.
1:08:47.080,1:08:48.969
I'm pregnant.
1:08:52.439,1:08:54.408
Our guests are here.
1:08:56.880,1:09:00.009
Wait a minute, when did we even have...
1:09:03.560,1:09:07.724
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1:09:07.800,1:09:10.564
Wow. Lenny, that's big, brother.
1:09:10.640,1:09:12.165
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1:09:12.240,1:09:13.651
What are you talking about, Prince?
1:09:13.720,1:09:15.768
You told me it would be[br]the worst if that happened.
1:09:15.880,1:09:17.848
There's a lot of great aspects to that.
1:09:17.920,1:09:21.527
Like, when Junior graduates high school,[br]you'll be 64.
1:09:21.600,1:09:22.930
How is that a good thing?
1:09:23.000,1:09:24.729
Actually, it's horrifying.
1:09:24.800,1:09:26.723
I didn't do the math[br]before I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1:09:26.800,1:09:28.881
Nice job, Cher.
1:09:28.960,1:09:30.006
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1:09:30.080,1:09:32.162
I'm Meat Loaf, all right? Yeah.
1:09:32.240,1:09:34.970
You're Meat Loaf,[br]or you're made of meat loaf?
1:09:35.040,1:09:36.279
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1:09:36.399,1:09:38.163
I'm Oates.
1:09:38.240,1:09:39.241
Where's Hall?
1:09:39.359,1:09:41.680
Hall's having a playdate with your kids.
1:09:44.880,1:09:46.848
Anyway, you got nothing[br]to worry about, Lenny.
1:09:46.920,1:09:48.120
All right? You're a great dad.
1:09:48.160,1:09:49.649
Right, I know. I broke my son's leg today.
1:09:49.720,1:09:50.881
That's a real good dad.
1:09:50.960,1:09:53.645
Guys, you're bumming me out, all right?[br]This is supposed to be party time.
1:09:53.720,1:09:56.690
This isn't gonna be a real party.[br]I'm drinking a juice box,
1:09:56.760,1:09:59.969
'cause I'm afraid my wife's gonna yell at[br]me for getting drunk in front of the kids.
1:10:00.040,1:10:03.249
How many of you guys have been to a party[br]in the past six months?
1:10:04.560,1:10:06.289
A party without a bouncy house.
1:10:07.720,1:10:09.609
A party where they actually invited you.
1:10:11.080,1:10:12.161
Yeah.
1:10:12.240,1:10:14.686
The party's over, fellas.
1:10:14.760,1:10:16.808
You saw the way those frat guys[br]treated us today.
1:10:16.880,1:10:18.245
We're irrelevant.
1:10:18.320,1:10:19.560
We're losers.
1:10:19.640,1:10:20.687
We're old.
1:10:20.760,1:10:22.125
Lamonsoff totally surrendered.
1:10:22.200,1:10:24.043
He's got a fanny pack on now,[br]for God's sake.
1:10:24.120,1:10:25.770
You know what, first of all,
1:10:25.840,1:10:28.411
it's a "survanny" pack,[br]a survival fanny pack,
1:10:28.480,1:10:29.845
with many special features.
1:10:29.920,1:10:32.207
So you pull that triangle[br]and lasagna comes out?
1:10:33.800,1:10:35.211
Why don't you give it a shot?
1:10:35.280,1:10:37.487
You got it. I'll pull the string.
1:10:40.440,1:10:42.522
Like a raft out of hell!
1:10:43.840,1:10:45.888
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1:10:46.320,1:10:48.243
Don't ever say the party's over!
1:10:50.520,1:10:52.329
That didn't happen.
1:10:56.200,1:10:58.328
Hey, Richard Simmons is a hero.
1:11:16.320,1:11:18.402
No, no, no, no, no.
1:11:18.480,1:11:19.686
What's with all this Prince?
1:11:19.760,1:11:21.000
- I'm Prince.[br]- The hell.
1:11:21.080,1:11:22.411
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1:11:22.480,1:11:24.130
My skin's way lighter than yours.
1:11:24.200,1:11:27.090
You should have came as Seal[br]on a hunger strike.
1:11:27.160,1:11:30.687
You look like Morgan Freeman[br]if he was a transvestite.
1:11:30.760,1:11:33.411
And what you doing here, Bumpty?[br]I thought you was out with my daughter.
1:11:33.480,1:11:35.801
That ain't Bumpty. That's my wife.
1:11:35.880,1:11:38.531
Mary! I didn't recognize you.
1:11:38.600,1:11:39.886
Where's your costume?
1:11:39.960,1:11:42.884
I didn't find out about the party[br]until it was too late.
1:11:43.120,1:11:46.044
So you decided to come as a black Muppet?
1:11:46.400,1:11:48.767
What?
1:11:49.400,1:11:52.847
Come on, you're my one and only,[br]sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1:11:53.440,1:11:55.647
Make a muscle for me?
1:11:55.720,1:11:56.846
Pwease?
1:11:59.440,1:12:01.408
So bulgy.
1:12:02.240,1:12:06.325
Like a big caramel apple.
1:12:16.320,1:12:18.084
Wow.
1:12:18.280,1:12:21.921
I'm scared. I feel safe with you.
1:12:32.240,1:12:33.924
Shut up.
1:12:35.520,1:12:39.081
You know, I can make[br]a connection with a woman.
1:12:39.160,1:12:41.367
I just can't sustain it.
1:12:41.440,1:12:43.602
You know, there's a distance there.
1:12:43.800,1:12:47.885
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,[br]you know, with pills,
1:12:47.960,1:12:49.849
or the Discovery Channel,
1:12:49.920,1:12:52.082
or Dino Nuggets.
1:12:52.440,1:12:54.124
But nothing really works.
1:12:54.200,1:12:57.443
See, you understand, you know?
1:12:57.560,1:12:59.608
'Cause you're, I heard,
1:13:00.080,1:13:02.606
sensitive to men.
1:13:03.000,1:13:04.411
God, he's hot!
1:13:04.480,1:13:06.721
Zip it! He'll find out our secret!
1:13:13.120,1:13:15.327
- Drink up, partner.[br]- Yeah!
1:13:15.400,1:13:16.970
Lenny!
1:13:17.080,1:13:18.809
Secret table.
1:13:18.880,1:13:21.042
Yes, honey, how are you? What's going on?
1:13:21.120,1:13:22.724
We just trying to get our punch on.
1:13:22.800,1:13:23.767
Becky's sleepy-
1:13:23.840,1:13:25.888
She wants her daddy to put her to bed.
1:13:25.960,1:13:28.725
Well, Daddy's right about[br]to enjoy some refreshing punch,
1:13:28.840,1:13:30.763
so could you put her to sleep?
1:13:30.840,1:13:32.842
Well, you wouldn't want[br]to have too much punch
1:13:32.920,1:13:35.241
with all these kids running around.
1:13:35.360,1:13:36.850
You know what, I'd be okay with that.
1:13:36.920,1:13:38.251
Actually, you wouldn't.
1:13:38.320,1:13:39.685
Gotcha.
1:13:39.760,1:13:42.604
I'll be back soon, fellas.[br]I'll be back soon. That's a promise.
1:13:42.680,1:13:44.250
- Let's go, little girl.[br]- Good night.
1:13:44.320,1:13:45.481
Time to go to sleep.
1:13:45.840,1:13:47.524
Close your eyes.
1:13:51.000,1:13:52.365
Yeah, Mom.
1:13:54.000,1:13:56.367
As easy as making a free throw.
1:13:58.520,1:14:00.727
Hey, Bean, Becky went to sleep.
1:14:00.800,1:14:03.451
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.[br]What do you say?
1:14:03.520,1:14:04.806
No, no, don't touch that.
1:14:04.880,1:14:06.325
Yeah, you might break it.
1:14:10.360,1:14:12.044
What...
1:14:12.120,1:14:13.929
Where did you learn how to do that?
1:14:14.040,1:14:15.804
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1:14:20.640,1:14:22.927
You're a genius?
1:14:23.000,1:14:25.287
My boy's a genius.
1:14:29.880,1:14:32.690
Your dad's also a genius.
1:14:32.760,1:14:35.240
Sweet dreams there, angel, okay?
1:14:35.320,1:14:38.449
Daddy, can you lay in bed[br]with me till I fall asleep?
1:14:38.520,1:14:41.126
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.[br]That's why we came up here.
1:14:41.200,1:14:43.567
Please lay down.
1:14:46.880,1:14:48.120
I'll lay down with you, then.
1:14:48.200,1:14:51.329
I just... There's a party going on, but...
1:14:51.400,1:14:52.970
Can you tell me a story?
1:14:53.040,1:14:54.644
Look who was in the neighborhood!
1:14:54.760,1:14:57.923
Some of Lenny's friends[br]from the old J. Geils Band!
1:15:11.800,1:15:14.406
- Daddy?[br]- You don't want one slug?
1:15:14.480,1:15:15.845
No.
1:15:15.920,1:15:18.082
I thought you liked this stuff. Sorry.
1:15:19.160,1:15:22.209
All right. I'll tell you a story.
1:15:22.320,1:15:28.202
Once upon a time, there was a hand,
1:15:28.720,1:15:31.803
and the hand faced-raked the child.
1:15:32.320,1:15:35.563
Sleep!
1:15:35.880,1:15:38.167
Slee...
1:15:39.320,1:15:41.084
Sleep!
1:15:41.760,1:15:45.970
Boy, Feder's cranking[br]his old rock and roll records pretty loud.
1:15:46.440,1:15:48.283
Guess he's never heard of neighbors.
1:15:51.040,1:15:52.280
Now, why you stopping here?
1:15:52.480,1:15:53.925
I need some air.
1:15:54.000,1:15:55.161
You need some air?
1:15:55.240,1:15:57.891
- We haven't even gotten to the party yet.[br]- I would appreciate it
1:15:57.960,1:16:00.281
if you would stop trying to "manage" me.
1:16:01.560,1:16:03.688
Word, word.
1:16:04.200,1:16:05.725
Want me to stay and wait with you?
1:16:05.800,1:16:09.771
I just want to be alone!
1:16:11.360,1:16:13.044
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1:16:13.120,1:16:15.122
Boy!
1:16:24.280,1:16:28.604
Daddy, I can't fall asleep[br]without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1:16:28.680,1:16:31.081
You told me he would be okay.
1:16:31.160,1:16:33.162
He Will be. I...
1:16:33.240,1:16:35.481
He just needs to rest a[br]little bit longer, okay?
1:16:35.640,1:16:38.883
Please, Daddy. I need to see him.
1:16:39.600,1:16:43.321
He had a very rough day.
1:16:43.640,1:16:48.089
But I'll get him for you,[br]because you need to see him.
1:16:49.720,1:16:53.042
Doing leg lifts.[br]I work out when I can, you know?
1:16:53.400,1:16:54.925
Want some Daddy candy right here?
1:16:55.000,1:16:56.968
Why are you naked?
1:16:57.040,1:16:58.565
Global warming.
1:16:59.080,1:17:00.320
Why is this empty?
1:17:00.400,1:17:01.845
- Where is Gigglesworth?[br]- Hey, hey.
1:17:01.920,1:17:04.969
I'm sorry, man. Were you looking for this?
1:17:05.040,1:17:06.280
Why's he look good?
1:17:06.360,1:17:07.646
I sewed him.
1:17:07.720,1:17:08.801
You sew?
1:17:08.880,1:17:09.961
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1:17:10.040,1:17:11.121
Gay camp-
1:17:11.200,1:17:13.441
You went to gay camp? You're gay?
1:17:13.600,1:17:16.171
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1:17:16.240,1:17:18.811
but no, there's no such thing[br]as gay camp, man. it was a joke.
1:17:18.880,1:17:20.721
I learned to sew from my dad,[br]who was a tailor.
1:17:20.760,1:17:23.331
I've been sewing since[br]I was Becky's age. Here.
1:17:23.480,1:17:25.403
This is great.
1:17:25.880,1:17:27.928
Gigglesworth's okay,
1:17:28.000,1:17:30.207
you're not fooling around with my wife,
1:17:30.280,1:17:31.520
and you got a pee stain.
1:17:35.680,1:17:37.842
That is not mine.
1:17:47.080,1:17:49.082
You're an animal.
1:17:54.880,1:17:57.770
I am the law!
1:18:07.560,1:18:09.688
Can you dig it?
1:18:21.120,1:18:23.441
Come on, big man,[br]Lenny's got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1:18:23.640,1:18:25.722
I don't got to go to the bathroom.
1:18:25.800,1:18:27.450
I'm just enjoying the water.
1:18:27.960,1:18:29.928
Get out.
1:18:30.000,1:18:32.606
Hurry! Hurry!
1:18:32.680,1:18:34.364
Fluzoo, come on!
1:18:34.480,1:18:37.324
That's not even warm. It's hot.
1:18:42.320,1:18:44.402
I got to give it to your[br]old man for one thing.
1:18:44.480,1:18:47.290
He could always throw a party.
1:18:47.360,1:18:48.964
This is my dad's party?
1:18:52.440,1:18:55.489
Check out your girlfriend[br]in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1:19:17.000,1:19:18.365
Charlotte,
1:19:18.480,1:19:19.766
that was amazing.
1:19:19.840,1:19:21.280
Where'd you learn to sing like that?
1:19:21.360,1:19:24.921
No place. I just sing a[br]little in the shower.
1:19:25.160,1:19:27.481
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1:19:27.560,1:19:28.800
'Cause I gots the power
1:19:28.880,1:19:31.326
I'm on Today Show[br]Dissing Matt Lauer
1:19:31.400,1:19:32.447
Bumpty!
1:19:32.520,1:19:36.809
Do me a favor and shut your mouth before[br]I slap that Mohawk into a chin strap.
1:19:36.880,1:19:38.484
What?
1:19:53.080,1:19:54.320
Hey-
1:19:54.400,1:19:56.448
Who invited you guys?
1:19:56.560,1:19:58.881
Your beautiful wife does.
1:19:58.960,1:20:00.166
Well, she invited her,
1:20:00.240,1:20:03.164
and naturally, we assumed[br]it was a plus one.
1:20:03.720,1:20:04.801
There a problem?
1:20:04.880,1:20:08.521
No, I was gonna say,[br]great Terminator outfit
1:20:08.600,1:20:11.410
and Robert Palmer thing you got on, and...
1:20:12.800,1:20:14.404
Nice babble.
1:20:15.640,1:20:16.971
- How about this?[br]- No.
1:20:17.080,1:20:18.127
What about that?
1:20:18.200,1:20:20.362
Does that hurt? Is that hurting you?
1:20:20.440,1:20:21.521
Yes, it is hurting me.
1:20:21.600,1:20:24.331
Okay. Well, let me do it some more.
1:20:24.400,1:20:26.687
You got something to say?
1:20:26.800,1:20:28.450
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1:20:28.600,1:20:32.161
You want to stay at my party,[br]I think you owe me an apology.
1:20:32.240,1:20:33.241
For what?
1:20:33.320,1:20:36.210
For back in the day, always giving me crap.
1:20:36.480,1:20:38.528
You don't want to let bygones be bygones?
1:20:38.600,1:20:41.809
I do. After you apologize to me.
1:20:42.240,1:20:44.049
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1:20:44.120,1:20:47.681
There isn't a statute[br]of limitations on being a dick.
1:20:47.760,1:20:49.808
What'd you just say?
1:20:49.880,1:20:51.723
I said what I said.
1:20:51.800,1:20:53.848
You and me are fighting right now.
1:20:53.920,1:20:56.127
Now, let's go! Let's get it over with.
1:20:58.160,1:21:00.527
Man, looks like our friend's about to die.
1:21:00.600,1:21:02.489
Lenny, what's going on?[br]I'm calling the police!
1:21:02.600,1:21:05.171
We're already here.
1:21:07.960,1:21:09.246
Hold my hair, woman.
1:21:10.120,1:21:11.246
You ready for this?
1:21:11.320,1:21:14.085
Not at all, but I'm gonna do this,
1:21:14.160,1:21:16.128
'cause I got to show my son what's right.
1:21:19.960,1:21:21.724
We'd do anything for our boys, wouldn't we?
1:21:21.800,1:21:23.211
Absolutely.
1:21:23.280,1:21:24.406
Yeah.
1:21:24.480,1:21:26.050
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1:21:26.120,1:21:29.522
Well, you raised him right.[br]I hope he gets home safe soon.
1:21:29.600,1:21:31.045
Yeah, me, too.
1:21:31.120,1:21:32.565
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1:21:32.640,1:21:37.009
Lick his bicep. Lick it,[br]bite it, lick the tan off.
1:21:38.640,1:21:40.688
All right, here's what's gonna happen.
1:21:40.760,1:21:43.445
Hit me right on the chin.[br]I'll go down like a sack of potatoes.
1:21:43.520,1:21:45.761
- What are you talking about?[br]- Just do it.
1:21:45.840,1:21:48.320
I know you'd do the same for me[br]if my boy was watching.
1:21:49.320,1:21:51.163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1:21:58.440,1:21:59.885
No! Don't hit me, please!
1:21:59.960,1:22:01.883
I'm sorry. Please don't hit me.
1:22:01.960,1:22:03.371
You would tear me limb from limb.
1:22:03.480,1:22:04.766
Open this.
1:22:04.840,1:22:07.491
The only reason I picked on you[br]was because I was afraid of you.
1:22:07.560,1:22:08.971
- What?[br]- Oh, my God.
1:22:09.040,1:22:11.042
Please, please, please. Just go with it.
1:22:11.120,1:22:13.440
I didn't think anyone would[br]believe you could knock me out.
1:22:13.480,1:22:17.280
Please. Don't hit me.
1:22:17.360,1:22:20.443
Cavanaugh's crying. This is ridiculous!
1:22:20.520,1:22:21.487
Cavanaugh.
1:22:21.560,1:22:23.130
You mean you don't[br]want me to hit you with this?
1:22:23.200,1:22:24.201
No! Please.
1:22:24.440,1:22:26.488
Or the elbow?
1:22:26.840,1:22:28.285
Finger in the eye!
1:22:28.360,1:22:30.249
- Wow.[br]- Listen to this guy!
1:22:30.320,1:22:33.847
All right, get up. Straighten up.
1:22:34.160,1:22:35.969
I'm not gonna hit you,
1:22:36.560,1:22:40.963
but if you ever disrespect me
1:22:41.040,1:22:42.849
or anybody,
1:22:42.920,1:22:44.763
I will hunt you down,
1:22:44.840,1:22:48.481
and I will slap you into a pile of tattoos,
1:22:49.040,1:22:50.724
bad breath
1:22:51.400,1:22:52.481
and back zits.
1:22:53.520,1:22:55.488
Please.
1:22:55.560,1:22:57.688
Do you understand me?
1:22:57.920,1:22:59.524
Yes, I understand you.
1:22:59.600,1:23:02.206
Do you understand me?
1:23:02.280,1:23:04.726
Yes, I understand you!
1:23:05.080,1:23:06.809
Then walk away before I change my mind.
1:23:06.880,1:23:08.291
Thank you very much.
1:23:14.040,1:23:16.168
- Hey, man, look at him![br]- What just happened?
1:23:16.240,1:23:18.163
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1:23:18.240,1:23:21.483
Oh, my God, that was the[br]manliest thing you ever did.
1:23:21.600,1:23:24.968
You get extra special[br]hip-hop dance tonight.
1:23:25.040,1:23:26.644
Word up.
1:23:30.400,1:23:32.528
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1:23:32.600,1:23:36.161
could you tell him that I'm here waiting[br]like we arranged?
1:23:36.280,1:23:38.009
Guys? Guys?
1:23:39.520,1:23:43.002
Yeah, okay. Okay, I am a person!
1:23:43.120,1:23:45.043
- That was awesome, by the way.[br]- Had to. Had to.
1:23:45.120,1:23:46.531
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1:23:46.600,1:23:48.204
He let you off the hook, didn't he?
1:23:48.280,1:23:51.204
He did, he did, but I had to go With it.
1:23:56.760,1:23:58.603
I can't believe it!
1:23:58.720,1:24:00.882
We hit the moron jackpot!
1:24:00.960,1:24:05.249
Everybody who needs a beating,[br]conveniently together on one lawn.
1:24:05.320,1:24:06.810
Who are they?
1:24:06.880,1:24:09.326
Brunson University frat guys.
1:24:09.440,1:24:12.171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1:24:12.280,1:24:15.045
Excuse me, why are you here?[br]What's the matter?
1:24:15.120,1:24:18.169
I tell you what is the matter.
1:24:18.280,1:24:20.965
These old townies trashed our frat house!
1:24:21.040,1:24:24.761
And nobody treats our good-times[br]headquarters with disrespect!
1:24:24.840,1:24:26.888
Yeah!
1:24:27.040,1:24:29.964
They didn't do it.
1:24:30.040,1:24:31.405
Me do it.
1:24:31.480,1:24:33.767
Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!
1:24:33.880,1:24:35.325
Who's Z-Dog?
1:24:35.400,1:24:36.686
We know they're trying to get back at us
1:24:36.800,1:24:39.041
for making them do the naked[br]plunge in our swimming hole.
1:24:39.080,1:24:42.562
Your swimming hole? I've been swimming[br]at the quarry since I was eight years old.
1:24:42.680,1:24:45.081
Apparently, everybody in this crap town
1:24:45.160,1:24:47.970
has been swimming there[br]since they were eight years old.
1:24:48.040,1:24:52.170
I guess nobody wants to leave this dump[br]because they're too busy sucking!
1:24:57.640,1:24:58.926
We'll finish later.
1:24:59.000,1:25:00.445
- You promise?[br]- I promise.
1:25:00.520,1:25:02.329
- Okay.[br]- Hey, smart guy!
1:25:02.400,1:25:04.562
Lenny Feder left this town,
1:25:04.640,1:25:07.689
moved to Hollywood, made big bucks,
1:25:07.760,1:25:10.161
probably more money than[br]all you brainiacs put together
1:25:10.240,1:25:11.241
ever will.
1:25:11.320,1:25:12.526
But guess what?
1:25:12.640,1:25:14.244
He came back here.
1:25:14.320,1:25:19.042
'Cause this beautiful town is his home.[br]And it always will be his home.
1:25:24.360,1:25:28.365
Well, that was just a moving testament[br]to this community, bro!
1:25:28.440,1:25:32.604
But we didn't come here[br]to hear any lame speeches.
1:25:32.680,1:25:37.288
We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!
1:25:43.000,1:25:45.287
Fellas, we may be old.
1:25:45.400,1:25:46.640
We may be smelly.
1:25:46.720,1:25:48.722
We may have a penis.
1:25:51.840,1:25:54.571
But the only ones getting[br]their ass kicked around here
1:25:54.640,1:25:57.530
is gonna be you spoiled,
1:25:57.640,1:26:01.531
privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.
1:26:01.600,1:26:02.806
You hear that?
1:26:02.880,1:26:05.281
Now, let's get busy!
1:26:26.280,1:26:27.486
They're dancing on the ceiling
1:26:27.560,1:26:30.211
They're dancing on the floor
1:26:30.280,1:26:33.363
People everywhere coming through the door
1:26:33.440,1:26:36.523
They know there's a party going on
1:26:46.120,1:26:47.690
Come on, son!
1:26:47.760,1:26:48.727
You ain't tough!
1:26:48.800,1:26:50.245
Hit him!
1:26:50.920,1:26:55.369
Yeah, Braden! Yeah! Damn!
1:26:55.480,1:26:56.970
You want this?
1:27:01.320,1:27:02.606
Sir, please stop it!
1:27:02.680,1:27:04.921
That's not a sir! That's a woman!
1:27:05.000,1:27:07.128
My woman!
1:27:07.240,1:27:09.402
Come on, babe.
1:27:09.480,1:27:12.723
I know you're gonna lose control
1:27:12.800,1:27:14.040
You can do
1:27:14.120,1:27:16.043
Oh, you're so hot.
1:27:19.560,1:27:22.370
I know it's cold outside
1:27:22.440,1:27:24.442
Don't bust my face!
1:27:25.000,1:27:26.490
You saved me.
1:27:28.400,1:27:31.688
I will protect you for[br]the rest of your life.
1:27:31.760,1:27:34.843
Okay, blow dryer boy.
1:27:38.320,1:27:39.606
Oh, God, no!
1:27:39.680,1:27:41.728
No! No!
1:27:41.800,1:27:43.802
Yeah! Yeah!
1:27:43.880,1:27:45.609
Having a good anniversary, babe?
1:27:45.680,1:27:47.011
Honey, the best.
1:27:51.520,1:27:52.931
I can't breathe.
1:27:53.000,1:27:54.126
Choking me!
1:28:04.720,1:28:05.926
Yeah!
1:28:06.000,1:28:07.809
We did it. We did it, man.
1:28:07.880,1:28:08.847
Yeah.
1:28:08.920,1:28:10.365
We make a good team.
1:28:10.440,1:28:11.965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1:28:38.280,1:28:40.647
I know it's cold outside
1:28:40.720,1:28:43.564
Come on, babe, I'll keep you satisfied
1:28:43.640,1:28:44.766
Boomer!
1:28:44.880,1:28:46.086
What's going on?
1:28:46.160,1:28:47.605
This!
1:28:47.680,1:28:50.490
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1:28:50.560,1:28:51.766
His name's not Boomer!
1:28:52.840,1:28:54.126
It's Gary.
1:28:54.200,1:28:55.361
It's Greg.
1:28:55.440,1:28:57.647
Greg.
1:29:04.640,1:29:06.961
Oh, my God! Did you see his head?
1:29:07.040,1:29:08.769
He's got a... He's bald!
1:29:08.920,1:29:12.208
I got a wild one!
1:29:14.080,1:29:15.684
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1:29:15.760,1:29:17.808
Nobody noogies my brother!
1:29:19.680,1:29:22.081
My brain! My brain!
1:29:26.720,1:29:28.484
B.U.!
1:29:28.560,1:29:30.050
Hey, man! I had that one.
1:29:30.120,1:29:31.724
I know you did, big brother.
1:29:31.800,1:29:33.882
- Get out of here![br]- Don't hit me!
1:29:33.960,1:29:36.884
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1:29:36.960,1:29:39.930
Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to[br]flip your way out of this?
1:29:41.280,1:29:42.725
Too slow, old man.
1:29:42.800,1:29:44.131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1:29:47.280,1:29:48.566
Look who's back up, baby.
1:29:48.640,1:29:50.688
I didn't know we were kicking.[br]Give me a second to stretch.
1:29:50.760,1:29:52.046
All right.
1:29:52.120,1:29:53.565
We're gonna throw some legs, huh?
1:29:53.640,1:29:55.324
You want to throw some legs, huh?
1:29:57.320,1:29:59.163
Boom!
1:29:59.240,1:30:00.969
That just happened.
1:30:01.760,1:30:04.127
What, were you raised by ninjas?
1:30:05.600,1:30:07.284
Congratulations.
1:30:07.360,1:30:08.361
You won the fight.
1:30:08.440,1:30:09.441
Here's your prize.
1:30:11.120,1:30:14.408
Thanks, little girl. It[br]looks just like you.
1:30:17.040,1:30:18.690
It's a monkey!
1:30:19.160,1:30:20.321
Look at me!
1:30:20.400,1:30:23.370
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1:30:27.440,1:30:29.841
Good night.
1:30:32.520,1:30:34.682
Come on, guys! We got to get out!
1:30:34.760,1:30:36.125
Let's go!
1:30:38.160,1:30:39.924
Lenny! Baby.
1:30:40.000,1:30:42.241
- Baby, are you all right?[br]- I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1:30:43.360,1:30:46.284
I'm here for you, Leonard.[br]I'm here for you.
1:30:46.360,1:30:48.328
Who... Who are you?
1:30:48.400,1:30:49.890
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1:30:51.920,1:30:54.491
Oops, sorry, I kicked your barrette.
1:30:58.280,1:31:00.442
Sorry, honey!
1:31:02.400,1:31:05.563
You guys were Fuji and Tanaka out there.
1:31:05.640,1:31:07.051
This is just like high school.
1:31:07.120,1:31:11.011
Get drunk, get in a fight,[br]wind up back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1:31:11.080,1:31:13.082
Except for the drunk part, Mommy.
1:31:15.400,1:31:19.041
All you guys together brings back[br]so many memories.
1:31:19.600,1:31:22.251
- Dickie, is this you and Lenny?[br]- Let's see.
1:31:22.400,1:31:24.562
Yeah, me and Hollywood were[br]best friends in kindergarten.
1:31:24.640,1:31:25.926
- Yep.[br]- What happened?
1:31:26.040,1:31:28.560
What do you mean, "What happened?"[br]We were in different classes.
1:31:28.600,1:31:29.886
We kind of drifted apart, right?
1:31:29.960,1:31:32.122
Yeah. He was in those smart classes.
1:31:32.200,1:31:33.690
I was in the other classes.
1:31:36.320,1:31:37.651
Hey, who's this guy?
1:31:37.760,1:31:39.683
- Anybody remember him?[br]- Who is that?
1:31:39.760,1:31:40.841
Wow, what happened to that kid?
1:31:40.920,1:31:42.206
He's still here.
1:31:45.560,1:31:47.927
Why do I know my new kid's[br]gonna end up looking like that?
1:31:48.000,1:31:50.321
- You're having a baby, Lenny?[br]- Yeah.
1:31:50.440,1:31:51.930
Yeah, so I'm told, Mrs. Lamonsoff.
1:31:52.120,1:31:53.770
A surprise, huh?
1:31:53.840,1:31:55.171
Yes.
1:31:55.280,1:31:58.887
People today try to plan[br]things out so much.
1:31:58.960,1:32:02.169
But don't think an unexpected[br]child is loved any less
1:32:02.240,1:32:04.481
than one you planned for.
1:32:05.120,1:32:08.567
Someday, Lenny, you won't even remember [br]what life was like with just three children.
1:32:09.960,1:32:11.883
You think we wanted Eric?
1:32:11.960,1:32:13.450
- He was an accident.[br]- Mama.
1:32:13.520,1:32:16.649
His father and I were in the[br]men's room at a Patriots game...
1:32:16.760,1:32:18.888
You know what, I think I'm[br]just gonna turn the page here.
1:32:18.960,1:32:21.042
I'm turning the page.
1:32:21.120,1:32:22.565
Finish the story!
1:32:33.040,1:32:36.203
Officer Dante's passed out on our lawn.
1:32:36.320,1:32:39.802
I know. I saw him trying[br]to arrest an anthill.
1:32:42.880,1:32:44.962
Want to talk about[br]the whole pregnancy thing?
1:32:48.160,1:32:50.049
It's okay. We'll talk tomorrow.
1:32:50.120,1:32:51.360
Okay.
1:32:51.440,1:32:54.762
Okay, you go to sleep.[br]I'll make this between me and the baby.
1:33:02.160,1:33:04.208
Hello in there.
1:33:04.640,1:33:06.244
This is your daddy speaking.
1:33:08.080,1:33:11.368
I just want to tell you[br]welcome to the family,
1:33:11.480,1:33:14.882
and I love you very, very, very much.
1:33:15.200,1:33:19.046
I really don't care if[br]you're a boy or girl.
1:33:20.000,1:33:22.970
I just need you to promise me one thing.
1:33:23.400,1:33:27.200
When you're in elementary[br]school, study ballet,
1:33:27.280,1:33:30.011
so I can see that teacher[br]as much as possible.
1:33:30.360,1:33:31.327
Hey-
1:33:31.400,1:33:33.323
I knew that was coming.
1:33:35.240,1:33:38.801
To be honest,[br]I don't need no stinking ballet teacher.
1:33:39.040,1:33:41.884
I'm married to the most[br]beautiful woman in the world,
1:33:41.960,1:33:43.200
your mommy.
1:33:43.880,1:33:47.362
Are you saying sweet things to me[br]because you want to fool around?
1:33:47.680,1:33:50.445
That would be a nice way[br]to kick off the summer.
1:33:50.560,1:33:53.689
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
1:33:54.040,1:33:55.804
But let's do this quick,
1:33:55.880,1:33:57.723
we have a big day tomorrow, okay?
1:33:57.800,1:33:59.006
Absolutely.
1:33:59.080,1:34:00.844
Watch your head in there.
1:34:07.000,1:34:09.321
Hang on. Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
1:34:09.400,1:34:12.563
Don't move. Don't move.[br]Oh, my God, I'm going to!
1:34:15.080,1:34:19.768
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
1:34:19.880,1:34:21.484
Lenny, grow up!
1:34:21.560,1:34:23.927
I did it for the baby!