[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.68,0:00:19.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, I'm Lynne Franklin.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.85,0:00:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have one question for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.81,0:00:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How would you like to be a mind reader?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.35,0:00:25.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Audience) Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.50,0:00:27.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because part of me is thinking,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.41,0:00:31.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I bet your mind's thinking,\N'That's not going to happen.'"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.49,0:00:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.55,0:00:39.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People's brains process information -\Nthey think - in three different ways.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.00,0:00:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And their body language will tell you\Nall day long what their primary style is.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.16,0:00:48.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You just need to know what to look for\Nand what to do when you see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.80,0:00:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's not one of those\Nwhere she's leaning back,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.44,0:00:54.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her arms are crossed, she's frowning,\Nso she must be unhappy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.95,0:00:59.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's actually understanding\Nhow their brains work
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.23,0:01:01.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then presenting your information
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.41,0:01:06.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a way that people can see it,\Nhear it, and feel it,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.61,0:01:08.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and increase the chances\Nthat they'll say yes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.76,0:01:10.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to whatever you're proposing,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.41,0:01:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also decrease the chances\Nthat you'll do something stupid
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.22,0:01:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.91,0:01:18.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Back in my 20s, before I knew\Nany of this stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.87,0:01:21.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a client who was\Na corporate controller,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.47,0:01:23.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he would sit\Nacross from me in meetings,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.53,0:01:26.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was always looking down,\Nwith the occasional glance up.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.66,0:01:29.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I thought, "Okay,\Nwell, he's a numbers guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.47,0:01:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He just feels comfortable\Nlooking at the numbers."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.28,0:01:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then as time went on, I thought,\N"Well, you know, he's just socially inept,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.15,0:01:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he doesn't know\Nhow to give me eye contact."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.40,0:01:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, because\NI was young and stupid,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.75,0:01:43.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought, "Every time he's looking up,\Nhe's looking at my chest,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.80,0:01:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm offended!"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.06,0:01:47.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And there was one point -\NI, when in a meeting, went,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.55,0:01:49.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Excuse me, I'm up here."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.80,0:01:52.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ooh, yeah, talk about judgmental.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.86,0:01:54.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the scoop.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.59,0:01:56.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy's brain worked in a way
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.34,0:01:58.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he was never going\Nto give me eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.86,0:02:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And no matter how many times\NI modeled the behavior
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.24,0:02:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted him to use,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.94,0:02:06.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all that did was make both of us\Nfeel uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.87,0:02:08.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, how can you tell?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.12,0:02:12.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How can you read people's body language\Nto read their minds?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.66,0:02:14.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are going to show you right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.48,0:02:19.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that means I'm going to bring out\Nour first body language model, James.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.05,0:02:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.36,0:02:22.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you, James.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.12,0:02:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,James represents 75% of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.25,0:02:29.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You didn't know this about James,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.84,0:02:32.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but James is a looker.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.41,0:02:35.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.01,0:02:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What that means is that James' brain\Nthinks in pictures and images,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.73,0:02:42.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in pictures and images.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.88,0:02:45.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's how we can tell\Nthat James is a looker
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.79,0:02:47.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from his body language.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.01,0:02:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First thing, he stands up tall.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.23,0:02:51.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He has good posture.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.16,0:02:52.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second, he's dressed well
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.77,0:02:55.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because appearance\Nis important to lookers.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.15,0:02:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The next thing\Nyou'll notice about James is
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.18,0:03:00.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he holds a little stress\Nin his shoulders -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.43,0:03:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lift up your shoulders a bit -\Nhe holds his stress there.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.87,0:03:07.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing, you'll notice\Nhe has wrinkles in his forehead
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.93,0:03:11.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because James looks up\Nwhen he remembers something he has seen,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.00,0:03:14.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he looks up more often\Nthan most of us do.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.05,0:03:17.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing you'll notice about James\Nis that he has thin lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.98,0:03:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Suck them in.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.42,0:03:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is a chicken-and-egg thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.16,0:03:24.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're not quite sure\Nwhy lookers have thin lips,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.66,0:03:26.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but most of them do.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.05,0:03:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the other thing about lookers\Nis they give you lots of eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.43,0:03:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at them, look at them, look at them,\Nall of them, look at all of them.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.38,0:03:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks, James.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.38,0:03:35.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,James: Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.38,0:03:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.60,0:03:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lynn Franklin: Okay, now that you know\Nthat James is a looker,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.21,0:03:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,here are the two things you do\Nto build rapport with him.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.18,0:03:49.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first is that you give\Nhim lots of eye contact
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.10,0:03:50.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he literally believes
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.49,0:03:53.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you do not look at him,\Nyou are not paying attention to him
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.95,0:03:56.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you are ignoring him.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.10,0:03:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second thing you do with lookers is
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.22,0:04:02.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you give them words\Nthat have a visual component to it:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.53,0:04:04.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I see what you mean"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.19,0:04:05.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, "Look at this"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.80,0:04:08.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, "Let's picture\Nworking together this way."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.87,0:04:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, you use the type of language\Nthat is going on in James' brain.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.59,0:04:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those are lookers.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.78,0:04:17.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Seventy-five percent\Nof people in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.00,0:04:21.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our next body language model is Marge,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.64,0:04:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Marge represents\N20% of the people in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.30,0:04:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.80,0:04:32.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marge is a listener.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.81,0:04:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What this means is that Marge's brain\Nthinks in words and sounds,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.28,0:04:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in words and sounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.73,0:04:44.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is the body language\Nthat you will see in a listener.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.91,0:04:48.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, Marge -\Nnot as well-dressed as James,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.07,0:04:50.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because appearance\Nis not as important to her.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.52,0:04:51.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.53,0:04:52.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry, Marge.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.57,0:04:58.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, Marge has a tendency\Nto look down and to the left
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.22,0:04:59.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's where you look
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.60,0:05:02.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're remembering\Nsomething you have heard.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.10,0:05:04.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing you'll notice about Marge is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.97,0:05:07.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that a lot of times,\Nshe'll put her head in her hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.31,0:05:11.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's called "telephone posture."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.04,0:05:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Other thing you'll notice about Marge is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.96,0:05:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she has a tendency\Nto mumble to herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.48,0:05:17.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go ahead and mumble.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.68,0:05:19.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marge: (Mumbles)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.26,0:05:20.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.87,0:05:23.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,LF: And it's not that she's crazy,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.74,0:05:25.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's that she thinks in words and sounds,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.89,0:05:28.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so she's literally talking to herself.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.84,0:05:30.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another thing you'll notice about Marge -\N
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.80,0:05:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yep, she's the "pen clicker"\Nand the "banger of the pen on the table."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.82,0:05:39.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are listeners,\N20% of the people in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.00,0:05:40.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks, Marge.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.02,0:05:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marge: Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.02,0:05:43.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.00,0:05:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,LF: If you want to appeal to listeners,\Nyou do two things.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.73,0:05:49.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first thing, you do not give them\Nlots of eye contact.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.70,0:05:51.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It freaks them out.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.36,0:05:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's exactly what was going on\Nwith that corporate controller.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.07,0:05:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, what you do is
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.20,0:05:59.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when they're speaking,\Nyou look at them and you look away.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.16,0:06:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when you're speaking,\Nyou look at them and then look away.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.26,0:06:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second thing you do with listeners\Nis that you use words that are auditory:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.96,0:06:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That sounds good to me"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.40,0:06:11.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or, "Let's talk this over."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.62,0:06:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the type of language\Ntheir brain uses,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.96,0:06:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so you're using that to appeal with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.96,0:06:18.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Listeners, 20% of the people in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.80,0:06:22.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And our final body language\Nmodel is Marina.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.22,0:06:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Marina represents\Nfive percent of the people in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.34,0:06:27.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give her a round of applause.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.85,0:06:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.99,0:06:34.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marina is a toucher.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.58,0:06:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not what you think.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.78,0:06:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.52,0:06:43.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What that means is that Marina's brain\Nthinks in feelings and tactilely,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.48,0:06:45.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in feelings and tactilely.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.52,0:06:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's the kind of body language\Nyou will see in a toucher.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.38,0:06:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First thing and the biggest\Ntell in touchers is
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.57,0:06:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whether or not they've ever met you\Nbefore in their lives,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.28,0:06:55.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they are ready to hug you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.72,0:06:57.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughs)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.03,0:07:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Second thing you'll notice\Nabout touchers is
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.74,0:07:04.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they are dressed for comfort\Nrather than style.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.56,0:07:08.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing is that they have full lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.82,0:07:10.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give them big lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.32,0:07:11.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.73,0:07:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Same thing - I know,\Nmore touchers have full lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.56,0:07:19.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next thing you'll notice about touchers\Nis that they have a tendency to lean in
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.79,0:07:23.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they are trying to decrease\Nthe amount of physical space
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.80,0:07:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,between you and them,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.85,0:07:26.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and build rapport that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.46,0:07:29.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Touchers also have a tendency\Nto reach out and touch your arm
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.21,0:07:32.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they're in conversation with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.49,0:07:35.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And touchers also\Nhave a tendency to look down
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.44,0:07:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because that's where you look
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.82,0:07:39.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're remembering\Nsomething you have felt.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.81,0:07:40.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks, Marina.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.81,0:07:41.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Marina: Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.81,0:07:44.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.59,0:07:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,LF: You want to build rapport\Nwith touchers -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.70,0:07:49.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,5% of the people in the world?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.13,0:07:50.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here are the two things you do.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.62,0:07:53.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you feel comfortable,\Nlet them touch you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.52,0:07:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.20,0:07:56.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Appropriately, please.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.66,0:08:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you don't feel comfortable,\Nbecause a lot of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.24,0:08:04.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you've never met somebody\Nand they're ready to give you a bear hug,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.53,0:08:07.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the last thing you want to do is go ...
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.11,0:08:10.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we've all done that,\Nand it does not build rapport.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.13,0:08:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if a toucher's coming at you\Nand you don't feel comfortable,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.13,0:08:15.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,stick your hand out.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.14,0:08:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give these people\Na point of contact with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.38,0:08:19.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what they're looking for.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.45,0:08:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The second thing you do with touchers is
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.44,0:08:27.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you use language that either\Nhas a feeling to it or is tactile.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.07,0:08:29.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, "I want to hear\Nhow you're feeling about this."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.83,0:08:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Let's get in touch."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.13,0:08:33.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Reach out and tell me what you think."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.42,0:08:36.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the kind of language\Nthat appeals to touchers -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.46,0:08:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people who process information\Nin feelings and tactilely.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.29,0:08:42.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll read your mind again,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.53,0:08:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're probably thinking,\N"Which one of these three am I?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.43,0:08:47.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's figure that out right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.11,0:08:49.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I want you to do is close your eyes,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.53,0:08:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and remember an important memory.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.19,0:08:55.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this could be something\Nfrom your childhood:
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.49,0:08:56.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe your 10th birthday party
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.94,0:08:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or something that happened\Nto you last week.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.03,0:09:00.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, an important memory.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.65,0:09:05.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I want you to pay attention\Nto how you're remembering it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.35,0:09:09.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you remembering it like a movie\Nor a series of pictures and images?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.04,0:09:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you remembering it\Nby hearing what people said
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.02,0:09:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or describing what happened?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.80,0:09:21.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or are you remembering it by how you felt\Nor how things felt to you?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.72,0:09:23.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, open up your eyes.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.89,0:09:25.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you\Nremembered it like a movie?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.82,0:09:27.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, most of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.98,0:09:30.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How many of you\Nwere describing it to yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.18,0:09:31.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or remembering what people said?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.52,0:09:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, listeners.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.52,0:09:36.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, how many of you\Nremember how you felt
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.17,0:09:37.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or how things felt to you?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.69,0:09:40.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, now you know who you are.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.52,0:09:41.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the good news.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.57,0:09:43.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's the bad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.01,0:09:46.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're going to treat everybody else\Nas though they think the same way.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.43,0:09:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you've already seen\Nhow awful that can be
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.23,0:09:52.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're working\Nwith a corporate controller
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.42,0:09:54.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has a different way of thinking.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.20,0:09:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's my invitation to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.91,0:10:02.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want you to start paying attention\Nto other people's body language
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.41,0:10:05.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to figure out how they think.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.36,0:10:08.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because here's the magic part of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.85,0:10:13.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once you start presenting your ideas\Nin a way that they get them,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.50,0:10:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they will say yes to you more often.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.74,0:10:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the scoop too.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.60,0:10:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not asking you\Nto become somebody else,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.52,0:10:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because you can't change\Nhow your brain works.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.34,0:10:27.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's true, you think in all three ways,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.94,0:10:30.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but just the way you have a dominant hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.22,0:10:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have a dominant style.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.24,0:10:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't change that.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.71,0:10:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what you can do is accommodate\Nyour language, both body and verbal,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:39.80,0:10:41.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the people you're with
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.09,0:10:42.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to build rapport,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.85,0:10:45.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which allows you to reach\Nthe full spectrum of people
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.34,0:10:47.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you're hanging out with.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.18,0:10:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And here's the other magic thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.20,0:10:51.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't even have\Nto be in somebody's presence
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.46,0:10:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to figure out how their brains work.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.20,0:10:54.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Interested?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.83,0:11:00.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, all you need to do is listen to\Nor look at the words they're using.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.71,0:11:03.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if you're in a phone conversation,\Nlisten for the words.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.53,0:11:05.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're reading an email,\Nlook at the words.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.87,0:11:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who are lookers\Nwill use more visual language.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.65,0:11:11.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who are listeners\Nwill use more auditory words.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.17,0:11:14.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People who are touchers\Nwill use more feeling, kinesthetic words.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.22,0:11:17.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't have to be in that same space\Nto know who they are.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.08,0:11:18.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, here's my challenge to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.56,0:11:21.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Go back and read some of the emails\Nthat you have sent,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.35,0:11:25.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you'll notice,\Nnow that you know who you are,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.63,0:11:27.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the kind of language that you're using,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.49,0:11:28.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it'll back that up.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.59,0:11:30.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It happens with everybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.49,0:11:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, 10 minutes ago, you didn't think\Nyou could read people's body language
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.30,0:11:35.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to read their minds.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.29,0:11:37.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now you know what to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.77,0:11:40.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, practice this stuff\Non the people at home
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.47,0:11:41.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the people at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.99,0:11:43.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when you do this,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.29,0:11:44.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when you use these tools
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.82,0:11:47.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to build rapport with all kinds\Nof different people,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.37,0:11:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll become the most\Npersuasive person in the room.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.71,0:11:51.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.72,0:11:53.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)