0:00:07.137,0:00:10.342 There are billions of galaxies in the observable universe. 0:00:10.342,0:00:13.656 And each of them contains hundreds billions of stars. 0:00:13.656,0:00:15.298 In one of these gallasies, 0:00:15.298,0:00:17.260 orbiting one of these stars, 0:00:17.260,0:00:19.698 lies a little blue planet. 0:00:19.698,0:00:22.426 And this planet is run by a bunch of monkeys. 0:00:22.426,0:00:25.618 Now these monkeys don't think of themselves as monkeys. 0:00:25.618,0:00:28.221 They don't even think of themselves as animals. 0:00:28.221,0:00:33.057 In fact they love to list all the things that they think separate them from the other animals. 0:00:33.057,0:00:34.538 Opposible thumbs, 0:00:34.538,0:00:36.141 self-awareness. 0:00:36.141,0:00:39.926 They use words like 'Homo erectus' and 'Australopithecus'. 0:00:39.926,0:00:43.219 You say 'to-mae-to' I say 'to-mah-to', they are animals alright. 0:00:43.219,0:00:44.657 They are monkeys. 0:00:44.657,0:00:48.093 Monkeys with high speed digital fiber optics technology. 0:00:48.093,0:00:50.176 But monkeys never less. 0:00:50.176,0:00:52.699 I mean they're clever, you've got to give them that. 0:00:52.699,0:00:56.416 The pyramids, the skyscrapers, phantom jets, the great wall of China. 0:00:56.447,0:00:57.795 That's all pretty impressive 0:00:57.795,0:01:00.343 ..for a bunch of monkeys. 0:01:00.343,0:01:07.426 Monkeys whose brain has evolved to such an unmanageable size that it is now pretty impossible for them to stay happy for any length of time ... 0:01:07.426,0:01:12.676 .. in fact, they're the only animals that think they are supposed to be happy, all of the other animals can just be. 0:01:12.676,0:01:15.426 But it's not that simple for the monkeys. 0:01:15.426,0:01:18.458 You see the monkeys are cursed with consciousness. 0:01:18.458,0:01:20.175 So the monkeys are afraid. 0:01:20.175,0:01:21.899 The monkeys worry. 0:01:21.899,0:01:26.926 The monkeys worry about everything but mostly about what all the other monkeys think. 0:01:26.926,0:01:30.737 Because the monkeys most desperately want to fit in ... with the other monkeys. 0:01:30.737,0:01:34.259 Which is pretty hard to do because a lot of the monkeys hate each other. 0:01:34.259,0:01:38.760 This is really what separates them from the other animals: these monkeys hate. 0:01:38.760,0:01:40.593 They hate monkeys that are different. 0:01:40.593,0:01:42.343 monkeys from different places. 0:01:42.343,0:01:44.297 monkeys who wore a different color, 0:01:44.297,0:01:46.977 you see, the monkeys feel alone. 0:01:46.977,0:01:49.457 all six billions of them. 0:01:49.457,0:01:53.338 Some of the monkeys pay another monkeys to listen to their problems. 0:01:53.338,0:02:00.010 The monkeys want answers, the monkeys know they are going to die so the monkeys make up gods. And then they worship them. 0:02:00.010,0:02:03.343 The the monkeys start to argue over whose made-up god is better. 0:02:03.343,0:02:09.510 Then the monkeys start to get really pissed off and this is usually when the monkeys decide that it is a good time to start killing each other. 0:02:09.510,0:02:11.658 So the monkeys wage wars. 0:02:11.658,0:02:13.843 The monkeys make hydrogen bombs. 0:02:13.843,0:02:17.457 The monkeys have got their entire planet wired up to explode. 0:02:17.457,0:02:18.926 The monkeys just can't help it. 0:02:18.926,0:02:22.595 Some of the monkeys play to a sold-out crowd 0:02:22.611,0:02:23.590 of other monkeys. 0:02:23.606,0:02:27.259 The monkeys make trophies and then they give them to each other. 0:02:27.259,0:02:29.059 like it means something. 0:02:29.059,0:02:31.378 Some of the monkeys think they've got it all figured out. 0:02:31.378,0:02:33.218 Some of the monkeys read Nietzsche. 0:02:33.218,0:02:38.697 The monkeys argue about Nietzsche without ever giving any consideration to the fact that Nietzsche 0:02:38.697,0:02:40.675 .. was just another monkey. 0:02:40.675,0:02:41.817 The monkeys make plans. 0:02:41.817,0:02:43.457 The monkeys fall in love. 0:02:43.457,0:02:45.010 The monkeys have sex ... 0:02:45.010,0:02:47.698 And then they make more monkeys. 0:02:47.698,0:02:49.177 The monkeys make music. 0:02:49.177,0:02:51.139 And then the monkeys dance. 0:02:51.139,0:02:53.617 Dance monkeys, dance. 0:02:53.617,0:02:56.010 The monkeys make a hell a lot of noise. 0:02:56.010,0:03:00.342 The monkeys have so much potentials if they would only apply themselves. 0:03:00.342,0:03:05.498 The monkeys shave their hair off of their bodies in blatant denial of their true monkey nature. 0:03:05.498,0:03:09.593 The monkeys build giant monkey hives that they call cities. 0:03:09.593,0:03:12.843 The monkeys draw a lot of imaginary lines on the dirt. 0:03:12.843,0:03:17.898 The monkeys are running out of oil which is what fuels their precarious civilization. 0:03:17.898,0:03:21.417 The monkeys are polluting and raping their planet like there is no tomorrow. 0:03:21.417,0:03:24.509 The monkeys like to pretend that everything is just fine. 0:03:24.509,0:03:29.010 Some of the monkeys actually believe that the entire universe was created just for their benefit. 0:03:29.010,0:03:32.816 As you can see, these are some messed up monkeys. 0:03:32.816,0:03:37.343 These monkeys are once the ugliest and the most beautiful creatures on the planet. 0:03:37.343,0:03:39.926 And then the monkeys don't want to be monkeys. 0:03:39.926,0:03:43.926 They want to be something else, but they are not.